


Till Death Do Us Part

by Superbarryallen



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Arranged Marriage, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, minimal angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-06-05 03:05:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 191,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6686662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superbarryallen/pseuds/Superbarryallen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So you're my bride to be? Not what I expected at all." Clarke comments and Lexa didn't know whether to be offended or flattered since Clarke was giving her a pretty curious look - nothing too sinister. "Alexandria was it? What kind of name is that?" Okay, Lexa was offended. </p><p>"You're one to talk, Clarke."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw a post on tumblr about arranged marriage AU starters and I couldn't help myself. I don't know how long this will be but I had way too much fun writing it so I guess we'll see! Enjoy and let me know your thoughts.

Lexa tugs awkwardly at the tight fitted skirt her mother had practically forced her to wear. She wasn't one for dressing up, even for formal occasions, but apparently this  _ had  _ to be perfect. Her mother, without Lexa's knowledge, had gone behind her back and set up a  _ marriage _ . 

 

According to her mom they were a wealthy family who lived in the mostly countryside of Polis. Lexa always hated that damn place, it was full of huge estates, full of rich, stuck up, snobs and Lexa didn't exactly want to marry a rich stuck up snob, in fact, the only reason she was even going along with her mom was the fact that she'd promised to lay off Lexa if she agreed to at least meet with the family. 

 

The thing was Lexa knew nothing about them, her mom had been aloof about the whole thing, she didn't even know if her arranged marriage was with a girl or a boy - which she knew was a little stupid since her mom knew she liked girls but she wouldn't put it past her. She knew that her mom was in it for the inheritance but Lexa could care less about money, it was material thing, she didn't care that her future wife ( _ or husband but please god no _ ) was rich, she doesn’t want their money, in fact, they could keep the whole damn wedding. 

 

Lexa shifts in her seat wanting to escape the car that her mother was driving along in the densely wooded area. Not that it mattered, she was pretty sure her mom had put the child locks on just in case Lexa decided to do a tuck and roll. 

 

It wasn't long before they were pulling up to tall golden gates with a winding road on the other side carved into the surrounding forest like it shouldn't be there but it was. Lexa barely contains a scoff when she hears the curt voice reply to her mother's and her mom shoots her a glare. "Miss Woods, of course, follow the road all the way along and you should find the estate at the end." The voice says and Lexa found it suspiciously cheery. 

 

The gates open and Lexa sits back in her seat letting her eyes roam over the surrounding woodlands. She did have to admit that Polis was beautiful, Lexa always did like nature, the roughness of it all. She wasn't one for tight skirts and blazers, she was tight jeans and baseball tees, she'd never felt more unlike herself since she'd been to high school - which really is just an awkward time period of one's life where you're always horny yet feel uncomfortable in your own skin to even leave the house. Lexa was the only out gay girl at her school, ending with her being outcast from her peers and her only friends being Anya and Indra which, really, turned out great because Anya could scare anyone off with a simple look and Indra was just downright intense and her advice was always the best. 

 

She missed her friends, she missed her ripped skinny jeans, she missed her hair being loose and wild but, mostly, she just missed  _ home _ . Her small apartment was a safe haven beyond comparison, a place where Lexa felt most at peace, and, since she had graduated law school, she had a steady income working as a freelance lawyer which really meant she had a bunch of free time and only a few clients but it was enough for her. She didn't need the huge apartment or the huge law firm, like Lexa had said, that didn't matter. 

 

Finally, there's a break in the trees and Lexa sees the huge estate house dominate the previously lush forestry. The house was huge to say the least, it was stony and detailed and somehow managed to look slightly old fashioned while also looking modern. It had a large fountain in the centre and Lexa could see multiple balconies at multiple floors of the building. "Be nice Alexandria." Her mother scolds. Lexa did have to admit she was a little curious to meet the residents inside plus this mysterious person who she was betrothed to and why they would settle for anything less  _ aka  _ Lexa. 

 

Lexa steps out of the car stretching her limbs before her mother fixes her clothes and tucks a strand of stray hair behind her ear. " _ Mom _ ." Lexa complains. Their car seemed a little battered and out of place in this expensive driveway, although Lexa had thought that they owned a pretty up to date model, but apparently anything that was for the middle class looked out of place - especially Lexa who was cramped and feeling a little miserable. Her mom raises her eyebrow in that totally mom way where they dare you to say something and you just know you can't so Lexa sighs giving in. "I'll get the bags." 

 

"No need miss." Lexa almost jumps out of her skin when a guy, who she was pretty sure materialised out of nowhere, starts unloading their luggage. "Mr and Mrs Griffin are waiting for you inside." He informs them with a polite smile and Lexa's mom decides to take this one since her daughter was too busy gaping at the butler. Lexa was stunned, to say the least, and her mom would have to remind her of her manners - especially with the excessive staring. Her mom tugs her towards the front door and they enter the large house. 

 

Lexa immediately sees the huge chandelier hanging over their heads, like a bunch of crystals hanging in the air by string, the floor was impossibly white, and obviously marble, and in the centre there was a very large winding staircase that lead to the next floor. There were three double doors leading into various other rooms that Lexa would be sure to explore later if she got the chance - if she even decided to stay that was. She'd failed to inform her mother that the only real formal thing she had packed were the clothes that she was wearing and the other things she had packed were her usual clothes. 

 

"Ah, Miss Woods." The same voice that had come over the intercom at the gate greets them and Lexa suddenly realised that they weren't alone. Standing in the middle of the room was a woman looking casual yet smart, a kind smile on her face yet Lexa could see she was strict and hard to read. "This is Jake, my husband, and I'm Abby." Lexa glances at the man beside Abby, he seemed much more placid, defiantly laid back, his attire was closer to casual and his blue eyes were kind of beautiful, he had one of those infectious smiles and Lexa could already feel the smile tugging at the corners of her lips and the guy hadn't even spoken yet. 

 

"It's so nice to finally meet you, this is Alexandria and I'm ." She replies with a smile. Lexa didn't even have time to roll her eyes at the Alexandria name drop as Abby turns her gaze to Lexa and the brunette tries to resist the urge to squirm. Abby was looking at her with scrutinising eyes, like she was trying to stare into Lexa's very being, and Lexa, who was usually closed off anyway, didn't like the woman's intruding eyes. 

 

"I'm sure you're apprehensive to meet Clarke." Abby says pursing her lips but Lexa's head gets stuck on the name Clarke.  _ Was that a guy’s name? _ Surely, her mom hadn't set her up to marry a guy after everything they'd been through - no way. 

 

Lexa realises that Abby was waiting for a reply and she straightens up at the woman's raised brow. "Um, yes, Mrs Griffin, it would be my pleasure." Lexa replies stiffly and suppresses a yelp at the feeling of her mother's elbow digging into her ribs but she was just greeted with amused grins from her hosts. 

 

"I like this one Abby, she's a keeper." Jake says with a broad smile that made Lexa laugh but she was still far too nervous for her own good. 

 

Abby gestures over her shoulder for Lexa to follow her while Jake begins discussing details with Lexa's mom. Lexa follows Abby down a large hallway that was lined with numerous pieces of art, none of which Lexa particularly recognised but she never was much an art enthusiast. "Clarke is a little irritable about this whole situation." Abby warns and Lexa snaps to attention. "Something about it being a betrayal of free will. I'm curious as to what you think Alexandria." 

 

"Lexa." Lexa blurts before she has a chance to stop herself. Alexandria was her full name but it just made her cringe - only her mom could pull off calling her that. Abby looks at her curiously and Lexa realises she hadn't said anything else. "You can call me Lexa, I prefer that to my full name." Lexa explains. 

 

"Interesting." Abby comments. "Your mother told me that you're a lawyer."

 

"Yes ma'am, it's mostly freelance so I have a lot of free time but I earn enough money to support myself." Lexa replies. "To answer your previous question, I'm not sure how I feel about this whole situation, I kind of feel, I don't know... indifferent?" Lexa had promised to meet her future partner she hadn't agreed to marry them per say. Abby nods her head understandably and stops outside of a door. 

 

"I'll leave you two alone, I'm sure you have a lot to talk about and having me hovering around will probably make it awkward and uncomfortable." Abby says and Lexa nods. "It was nice meeting you Lexa Woods." 

 

"You too Mrs Griffin." Lexa replies and the woman turns around and leaves. Lexa takes a deep breath and rests her hand on the door handle.  _ Please don't be a boy, please don't be a boy, please don't be a boy _ . Lexa chants over and over again in her head as she pushes the door open. 

 

Lexa wasn't sure what she had expected, some prissy girl who was far too stuck up to even pay Lexa any attention? A butt ugly mule? Maybe even someone who was far too dense that they'd unknowingly agreed to marrying Lexa - not that they had much say in the first place but,  _ hey, _ Lexa liked to think they did. 

 

All her expectations were blown out of the water, however, when she laid eyes on the girl in front of her - yes, _girl_. She was dressed much like her parents, casual smart, yet somehow it seemed to suit her way better, her hair was light blonde, although it was close to golden in the sunlight that was streaming through the large open windows, it fell perfectly on her shoulders, her eyes were so blue, so _very_ _very_ blue, like the ocean and they looked deep and wise and Lexa could see the resemblance of Jake in her. Lexa didn't like to be disrespectful and think about bodies but damn was she hot - especially her chest area which Lexa had definitely _not_ stared at before diverting her eyes. Clarke was fucking beautiful and Lexa suddenly felt like a foreigner in her own skin like witnessing Clarke had reminded her that she wasn't dressed like she usually was and therefore she was totally making a false first impression on her future wife that was smoking. 

 

"So you're my bride to be? Not what I expected at all." Clarke comments and Lexa didn't know whether to be offended or flattered since Clarke was giving her a pretty curious look - nothing too sinister. "Alexandria was it? What kind of name is that?"  _ Okay _ , Lexa was offended. 

 

"You're one to talk,  _ Clarke _ ." Lexa bites back and Clarke smirks at Lexa's dig. Lexa realises that's exactly what Clarke wanted, maybe to make sure Lexa wasn't some push other, or maybe Clarke liked to be challenged. "And my father named me Alexandria, not that that’s any of your business." Lexa says - except it kind of was since they were technically engaged. 

 

"Is he the one who set this whole thing up?" Clarke questions and Lexa rolls her eyes. Something about the blonde rubbed her the wrong way but… she kind of liked it,  _ maybe _ ? 

 

"No, he's dead asshole." Lexa replies and Clarke freezes, her amused grin disappears from her face and is replaced by a horrified look. Clarke looked like she was about to apologise but Lexa quickly steps in. "It's alright, it happened a really long time ago, I guess I just forget that some people don't know that." Lexa says rubbing her neck nervously. "Let's just start again. I prefer Lexa, if that's alright with you?" 

 

"Lexa." Clarke tests the name out on her tongue and, if the curling of her lips was anything to go by, she found the sound of Lexa's name quite pleasurable to say. "I hope you realise I'm only agreeing to this whole crazy idea to get my parents off my back." Lexa shuffles because she knew what that felt like too and Clarke doesn't miss the movement understanding that was why Lexa was going along with it too. 

 

"I get that." Lexa replies. "I don't normally, I mean, I'm not usually dressed like this." Lexa gestures to her clothes and Clarke laughs softly. 

 

"Yeah, I can see that." Clarke says and Lexa raises an eyebrow. "Well you keep pulling on your skirt and you look a little uncomfortable." Clarke sounded amused and Lexa was beginning to wonder if that was a permanent state of mind for the blonde. "So my mom told me you were a lawyer?" Clarke says but Lexa got the underlying hint - she did find it odd that her own mother had been so secretive when it came to Clarke yet Clarke knew Lexa's name and occupation. 

 

"If you're implying that I'm some egotistical money crazed shark, then I'm very offended." Lexa says. "I mean, it's true, but I'm still offended." Clarke laughs getting the sense that Lexa was joking. "No, I'm serious, my ego is probably bigger than this house." 

 

"You're funny." Clarke decides. "I didn't expect you to have a sense of humour." 

 

"No, not a lot of people do." Lexa points out which was true: Lexa was sarcastic and had a very dry sense of humour that only certain people were able to handle. Clarke seemed to be one of those people but Lexa wasn't sure yet  - she'd only just met her after all. 

 

Clarke taps her fingers on the surface of the piano she was leaning against which Lexa hadn't even noticed. She'd been so distracted by Clarke that she hadn't noticed anything in the room and,  _ honestly _ , to miss a grand piano that the blonde was leaning against really said something about just how distracting Clarke was to Lexa. "Well I assume you think I'm some stuck up snob with shit tons of money who gets everything she wants." Clarke says. 

 

"I did have a small suspicion." Lexa admits because,  _ yeah _ , that's exactly what she had first thought but  _ now _ ? Clarke seemed down to earth and, judging by her appearance, she didn't care about money either. She was just a person who happened to have wealthy parents. 

 

"I'll show you to your room." Clarke says stepping forward and out the door. Lexa follows her out a smile lighting her face. 

 

"Shouldn't you at least by me dinner first?" Lexa teases. 

 

" _ Ha-ha. _ " Clarke replies. "We're already engaged, I think we've skipped the dinner phase."

 

"I'm not so sure." Lexa says and Clarke glances over her shoulder at the brunette. "Girls gotta eat." Clarke rolls her eyes but breaks out into a grin telling Lexa that the girl, at least, found her annoyingly amusing. So far, Lexa liked Clarke Griffin. 

 

Clarke delivers Lexa to her room with a promise to see her again at dinner. Honestly, Lexa was just happy to finally have some time alone to gather her thoughts. 

 

Lexa enters the bedroom and freezes in the doorway. The bedroom was huge, at least three times the side of Lexa's apartment back home -  _ maybe that was an exaggeration _ \- she'd never been in a bedroom so big. In the centre there was a large king sized double bed sporting clean bed sheets that matched the neutral colour scheme of the room, it was decorated with a few paintings but nothing like the ones that had lined the halls and certainly none that were personal. 

 

Her mom's room was right across the hallway so, if Lexa so desired, she could just take the short walk across the hall and see her mother but she doubted she'd ever really want to plus she wasn't sure if having her mom so close by was actually good or bad. There was a bathroom attached to the bedroom which was a relief because the image of her walking the hallways in only a towel wasn't all that appealing to her. 

 

It was a guest bedroom, Lexa could tell, obviously not used very often - yet there didn't appear to be a speck of dust on anything - but the most impressive thing about the whole bedroom was the large glass patio doors that opened out onto a balcony overlooking the forestry out the back of the house. 

 

Lexa steps outside taking a deep breath of pine and all things nature. She loved the outdoors and the lush green of the trees below her stretched for miles. Maybe she could get used to Polis after all, it did seem like the kind of place she would enjoy, and her room was like a little private sanctuary all to herself. 

 

Lexa turns on her heel at the sound of someone entering her room and comes back inside to see a man dressed in a suit with greyish hair and a short beard. "Miss Woods, Miss Griffin sent me to take care of any of your needs." He informs her setting her luggage down on the ground. Lexa leans against the wall on her shoulder and looks the guy up and down. 

 

"Shouldn't she be doing that? Since she's going to be my wife?" Lexa asks sarcastically and, to her surprise, the guy actually cracks a smile. 

 

"Miss Griffin mentioned you had an attitude." Lexa frowns at that. "She suggested that I’d be a good fit for your service since I happen to share your sense of humour." He continues. 

 

"What's your name?" Lexa asks standing up straight and stepping closer to him. 

 

"Alfred, at your service." He says with a small bow and Lexa raises an eyebrow. 

 

"As in the butler from batman?" Lexa questions clearly amassed. 

 

"As in what my mother called me when I was born." He replies and Lexa grins. As far as butlers, went and Lexa didn't really have experience in that department, Alfred didn't seem all that bad. 

 

"I don't know how this all works." Lexa admits feeling a little flustered and the butler smiles kindly at her. 

 

"Just let me know if you want anything, or if you require any help, and I'd be happy to do it for you." Alfred says and Lexa nods her head though she still didn't fully understand. "Dinner will be shortly Miss Woods, is there anything else you require from me?" 

 

"No, um, I think I'm good, thanks." Lexa says and he nods his head ready to leave. "Tell Clarke thanks, or don't, or maybe I'll just tell her, or maybe whoever sees her first tell her, but then how would we know if the other told her thanks..." Lexa trails off, realising she was ranting about nothing, and Alfred smirks at her causing Lexa to blush slightly. 

 

"I will be happy to tell Miss Griffin of your gratitude if I see her but, to be safe, you can always tell her yourself. You will be sitting next to each other at dinner." He informs Lexa and Lexa tenses - she had assumed her mother would've claimed a seat next to her daughter but apparently not. 

 

"I am?" Lexa asks just to clarify. 

 

"Yes, seems only fitting to have the wives-to-be next to each other." Alfred says. 

 

"Right, yeah, that makes sense." Lexa says shaking her head. "Do you think I could get away with faking being sick?" Lexa asks though she wasn't serious she knew her mom would kill her if she did such a thing. 

 

"I can't say that you would." Alfred says. "Do not threat Miss Woods, I'm sure you'll be fine." 

 

"Right." Lexa says and the butler takes his leave. Lexa would not be alright, she was never good in social situations, she always said something that made everything awkward and her mom being there would just add even more pressure. 

 

Lexa sighs and stares at herself in the mirror pulling a face at her current look. She was debating whether undoing all her mother's hard work was a good idea. She'd much rather wear her hair down, or in braids maybe, she was itching to throw on her favourite black ripped skinny jeans and that flannel shirt that was oversized and went well with that one t-shirt she owned, but that wouldn't be a good first impression - she could hear her mom's voice in her head ‘ _Alexandria,_ _what the hell are you doing? You look ridiculous._ ’ 

 

The thing was Lexa could deal with her current attire, she had to dress similarly for when she was in court or meeting clients but they were always quite brief since Lexa worked mainly at home. She sighs, decides it's best just to stay her mother's image of perfect for at least dinner and wait until bed to change back. 

 

Lexa heads out her door and begins to navigate her way through the labyrinth of halls. One thing was for certain, dinner was certainly going to be interesting.

 

Lexa takes her seat where indicated which happened to be across from her mother with Clarke sitting on her left - or at least she would be when she arrived. Jake was sitting at the head of the table and Abby was next to him on his left with Lexa's mom on Abby's left. "Sorry I'm late." Clarke apologises as she sits down in her seat. Lexa lets her eyes linger on her for a moment but kept it short enough that it wasn't creepy or noticeable. 

 

"Let's say grace." Abby indicates and everyone begins joining hands. Lexa hesitates at Clarke's outstretched palm and the blonde looks at her with a small frown. Lexa wasn't religious, that was some of the reason she was hesitating, she knew it was important to give thanks for everything they had but the idea of God has always been a little confusing to her. She liked to believe that a God could exist but there was little evidence to that factor, she was  _ agnostic _ , so she felt like maybe she was betraying some kind of rule. And then there was Clarke, who was the other half of Lexa's hesitation, she hadn't touched the blonde yet and she was pretty sure she might just combust if she had skin on skin contact - even if was just hands. 

 

Lexa quickly takes it feeling eyes on her and she almost jumps at the jolt of electricity she feels rip through her - even Clarke seemed a little surprised. Jake begins reciting a grace and Lexa decides to take that moment to peak. She slowly opens her eyes to see everyone had their eyes closed with their heads slightly bowed down, well, everyone except Clarke that was, who was looking at Lexa. The brunette was very aware of her hand intertwined with Clarke's and the feeling like every cell in her body was vibrating from her touch. They both stare at each other until Jake mutters ‘ _ Amen _ .’ and they instantly drop hands stumbling over their words to repeat the ending of the prayer. 

 

Food was brought to them by the waiting staff because,  _ why wouldn't they have waiting staff?  _ They were into their main course when the conversation steered towards Lexa. "So, Lexa," Lexa glances at her mom who was scowling at her because she'd told Abby to call her Lexa while her mom had insisted upon Alexandria. "do you enjoy what you do?" 

 

"It's okay." Lexa says with a shrug. "I think I'd like to do more to help people though, rather than settling divorces and civil disputes." Lexa reveals and Clarke was suddenly interested, leaning her head on her hand as she watched Lexa carefully. "Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful I have work and clients but I'd just like to do something bigger, maybe send someone to jail for once." Clarke snorts and Abby shoots her a look but Lexa doesn't notice it. 

 

"Is that all lawyers care about? Sending people to jail?" Clarke asks sarcastically. 

 

"We care about keeping people out of jail too." Lexa replies. "I just mean, if someone's done something bad then I'd like to see them brought to justice for it. I wouldn't want them hurting someone else and then my client can have peace of mind." Clarke smiles slightly at Lexa's enthusiasm and she had to admit it was a little endearing how much Lexa seemed to want the world to be a better place. "So, tell me Clarke, what do you do?" Lexa asks. The parents were long since forgotten, now all that Lexa saw was Clarke, she'd like to get to know her future wife a little better. 

 

"Depends." Clarke answers with a shrug. "I went to med school, and I'm practically a full trained doctor, but I have a special love for art." Clarke confesses and Lexa's eyebrows knit together in curiosity. 

 

"You've certainly achieved a lot." Lexa points out and Clarke smiles.

 

"Clarke excels in everything she does." Abby chips in but Lexa notices Clarke's expression change to something of annoyance. There was something deeper to the blonde: she was witty and their constant back and forth was entertaining - they were practically a married couple already. 

 

It was interesting that Clarke was a doctor, it spoke volumes for the things that Lexa hadn't had a chance to see yet: she was kind and caring. Lexa was enthralled with Clarke so far which she had not been expecting at all, she'd expected to hate this whole experience, but she, dare she say it, was actually finding it to be highly amusing and interesting. "Yeah." Clarke says dismissively obviously wanting to move the conversation away from herself. 

 

The rest of dinner was quiet and a little awkward but somehow Lexa managed to survive. Now she was enjoying lying on her back, on her king sized bed, dressed in only a t-shirt and her underwear, her hair finally let down and her curls spread across the bedspread. She had her phone pressed firmly to her ear deciding that she needed to talk to Anya about her whole situation. 

 

She knew Anya would be awake no matter how late it was. Since her friend had decided to delay her decision to go to college she was always awake at ungodly hours studying -  the girl was crazy when it came to studying but that was something Lexa could relate to. "Hey Lex." Anya greets as soon as she answers. Lexa could hear the tiredness that was in her friend's voice and rolls her eyes. 

 

"You should sleep you idiot." Lexa scolds and she hears Anya laugh. 

 

"I'll sleep when I graduate college with perfect grades." Anya retorts and Lexa scoffs. 

 

"Please, you could get straight A's in your sleep." Lexa replies which was true but Anya wouldn't listen to her. 

 

"So what's up? Normally you only call me at this time when you have something on your mind." Anya asks and Lexa sighs. 

 

"I didn't interrupt anything did I?" Lexa asks. She didn't want to be responsible for Anya not finishing an essay or something otherwise she'd never hear the end of it. 

 

"Not unless you count a caffeine induced coma." Anya answers and Lexa laugh. 

 

"I can't sleep." Lexa says. "I met her, my fiancée, my betrothed, my future wife, my whatever you want to call her." 

 

"So it is a girl? I'm happy for you Lex." Anya says sounding way too amused for Lexa's liking  and she could hear her friend shuffling around on the other end. "So what's she like? Are you falling in  _ lo-ve _ ?" Anya asks her voice teasing and Lexa rolls her eyes again at her stupid tone when she said love. She chooses to ignore Anya's teasing and answer her first question. 

 

"She's... I don't know Anya, she's a little hard to figure out, I thought I knew, I thought she was some rich chick who bought her way through life but turns out she's a fucking trained doctor, loves art and she's witty enough to be competition for even me." 

 

"Competition for  _ you _ ? No way." Anya replies because she knew just how sarcastic Lexa was and her attitude towards people was a little hard to understand if you didn't know her - it was one of the reasons Lexa only had a few close friends. 

 

"Yes way." Lexa pauses contemplating if she should say what she wanted to. "Anya, she's hot too, like  _ super _ hot, and blonde but also cute while also beautiful, she's just... I want to know her better." 

 

"You want to know  _ her _ better or her body better?" Anya questions and Lexa could practically hear the raising of her eyebrow in the question. 

 

"Get your mind out the gutter." Lexa says scrunching her nose though the thought of what Anya had said wasn't totally wrong and she did have a excited ball of nerves in the pit of her stomach at the suggestion. 

 

"Sounds to me like you like her." Anya says seriously. "Maybe you give this thing a shot?" 

 

"I don't know." Lexa says hesitantly. "There's something more, something she's not telling me." 

 

"Like what?" Anya asks. 

 

"There's got to be a reason why she wants her parents off her back, why an arranged marriage is the only way to do that?" Lexa voices her curiosity. 

 

"I suppose," Anya relents. "but then again you have your deep dark secret." 

 

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Lexa denies. 

 

"Really? Blonde? Name rhymes with  _ hostia _ ?" Anya hints.

 

"Costia is… she has nothing to do with anything anymore." Lexa says fighting the pain from seeping into her voice. "I called you to talk about Clarke not Costia." 

 

"So her name's Clarke? Interesting." Anya muses. "So when are you making your move?" 

 

"Shut up." Lexa mumbles. 

 

"I'm serious Lex, it's been forever since you got some." 

 

"Please stop." Lexa replies feeling irritated by her friend’s teasing.

 

"I mean, there must be cobwebs." Anya teases.

 

"I'm hanging up on you." Lexa warns and she could see Anya grinning even though she couldn't  _ see _ her. 

 

"If you'll bring your fingers up long enough to-" Lexa ends the call cutting off whatever disgusting comment Anya was about to make. She tosses her phones somewhere behind her and shuffles up the bed trying to get comfortable. 

 

After a few good minutes of tossing and turning Lexa came to the conclusion she wasn't getting any sleep anytime soon so she figured she'd go for a walk. The house was big enough she doubted she'd wake anyone up plus a little walk would help settle her nerves and thoughts about Clarke. 

 

Lexa exits her room, softly closing the door behind her, and begins walking down the long hallway bare footed. The floor beneath her feet was cold and the sound of her feet made soft padding noises. Lexa rounds the corner and of all things actually bumps into someone. Lexa jumps back in surprise, ready to apologise to whoever she had bumped into, but she's rendered speechless when she sees deep blue eyes the colour of the ocean and golden blonde hair. "Fancy seeing you here." Clarke says steadying Lexa with her arms. Lexa watches as Clarke’s eyes dart up and down her body and she realises that she’s only wearing a shirt and underwear. 

 

"I-I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd go for a walk." Lexa explains stepping back from Clarke's grip. "I'm sorry, I'll go back to my room." 

 

"Lexa, calm down, I'm not your mom and you're not a teenager that got caught sneaking out." Clarke says with a small smirk and Lexa feels herself relax slightly at the blonde's warm personality. "I couldn't sleep either." She confesses. 

 

"I'm not good staying in places I don't know." Lexa admits. "And I guess this whole marriage thing is playing more on my mind then I thought." Clarke sways on her feet and Lexa realises that she too was wearing pyjamas but she was wearing more clothes then Lexa which, admittedly, was a little disappointing. 

 

"Come with me." Clarke offers her hand to Lexa and Lexa stares at it before looking back at the blonde. "Come on, I have something to show you." Lexa takes her hand her curiosity too much to ignore. Clarke smiles and Lexa feels herself relax at the warmth of her hand before she's being pulled down the hallway towards another set of stairs that she was certain led to the top floor. 

 

She follows Clarke willingly, which she found a little worrying since she'd only just met her, it seemed like she trusted her a little more than she probably should but there was just something about Clarke that emitted calm - something about her that made Lexa want to trust her. 

 

They enter a room that was tucked away right at the end of the floor and which contained much more rustic looking decor. The stairs behind the door were wooden and not covered with any kind of flooring and it was narrow plus, not to mention, very dark. "I'm all for dark rooms and creepy staircases but where exactly are we going?" Lexa asks. The dark always did make her a little uneasy though she'd never admit it. Clarke squeezes her hand softly, reassuringly, and turns her blue gaze on Lexa. 

 

"You'll find out." Clarke promises and Lexa frowns a little. 

 

"That doesn't sound ominous at all." Lexa replies and Clarke laughs but pulls her into the doorway anyway and they begin climbing the stairs the door closing behind them and leaving them in even more darkness - the whole experience did kind of feel like they were a pair of teenagers. 

 

Lexa was really going in headfirst, she didn't know Clarke, for all she knew the blonde was an axe murderer bringing her to her secret killing chamber, but Clarke was like one of those mermaids in the stories Lexa had been told when she was younger: beautiful, voice soothing and attractive, impossible to resist, and, for all she knew, she was going to pull her overboard and Lexa was going to drown in all things Clarke. 

 

They reach the top of the stairs and Clarke flips the light switch on momentarily blinding Lexa until she dims them. Lexa blinks a couple of times, wondering why Clarke had bothered to drag her all the way here, when she notices the skyline above her. It was a dome of glass and Lexa drifts to the centre of the room, right under the glass, staring up at the night sky above her. 

 

Clarke watches her with a small smile. Lexa looked stunning doused in the moonlight that was pouring in through the glass, her eyes were fixed on the stars above her and she was grinning up at them. She turns her head to the side to look back at Clarke to find the blonde staring at her intently. "This is amazing." Lexa says looking back at the stars. "It's beautiful." She adds breathlessly and Clarke nods her head in agreement. 

 

"I come up here for inspiration." She informs Lexa. "It's my studio." Lexa raises an eyebrow in a questioning manner not understanding what exactly Clarke was talking about. "What do you think about the paintings around the house?" Clarke asks lightly and Lexa's brow furrows in confusion. 

 

"They're paintings." Lexa had never been one for art though, she had to admit, the one's around the Griffin household were eye catching in a way that art never had been to the young lawyer and they gave the house a much more lived in feeling. "Okay, I guess they're more than just that, they're good,  _ really good _ , but I don't know what artist they're by I've never seen anything like them." Clarke smiles at the compliment that Lexa had unknowingly gave her. 

 

"Thank you." Clarke says and Lexa frowns deeper. "I painted them, I don't just like art I'm an artist myself and my parents love to showcase my pairings all over the house since I don't want to show them anywhere else." 

 

"How come?" Lexa asks recovering from her surprise. She had never expected that Clarke had painted such beauty and why she wouldn't want to share her obvious talent. 

 

"Because it's just another way for my parents to show off how good I am at something." Clarke replies resentment clear in her voice. "I want my art to be my own, I want to paint because I love it not because my parents wish to parade it around like I'm Picasso or something." Lexa steps out of the moonlight and towards Clarke. 

 

"Well I think you should do whatever makes you happy." Lexa wasn't sure she was talking just about the art anymore or if she was giving Clarke an out of their arrangement and, by the looks of things, Clarke was sceptical about what Lexa was implying too. "Paint, draw, be a doctor, whatever, your life is  _ your _ life after all." 

 

"Easier said than done." Clarke replies which was true even Lexa knew that. 

 

"Are you happy?" Clarke's tone was curious yet Lexa could hear the underlying hurt. 

 

"Happy? I'm not sure." Lexa answers honestly. "I guess that depends but, if I had to describe my life, I’d probably say I'm content." 

 

"Content?" Clarke raises her eyebrows and Lexa takes her hands, pulling her under the skyline, closer to the blonde then she had been any other time other than when they had crashed into one another in the hallway. Lexa points above them with a smile on her face. 

 

"Life is a tricky son of a bitch, nothing's constant, nothing's set in stone, but the North Star," Lexa points to the brightest star in the sky and Clarke was wondering when this woman in front of her had become so philosophical. "it's always been there since the beginning of time. A constant for the human race, relied on by sailors when navigating the seas, used for lost travellers, a point of which people dare to hope and trust. Life may not be constant but if you find something that offers at least a little consistency, enough for you to feel like everything isn't out of your control, then you should hold onto it." Lexa informs Clarke. Her eyes were shining with her thoughts and Clarke almost felt herself lean in -  _ almost _ \- except she would never actually do that. Lexa was talking about Clarke’s art as being her constant but something flickered behind the blonde’s eyes that told Lexa that maybe she was thinking about something else. 

 

"What about you? Do you have this constant thing in your life?" Clarke asks and they were both very aware of how close they were standing. 

 

"Not anymore." Lexa replies, a little ambiguously, not giving Clarke much to go on. "I'm still waiting for my North Star." Lexa shrugs and Clarke laughs softly. She sighs, takes a step back from Lexa, and decides to lie on the floor staring up at the skyline above her. 

 

Lexa pauses, watching Clarke for a moment, her eyes roaming over her soft skin that was practically glowing in the moonlight, until she decides to follow her example. The brunette lies beside Clarke, a small space between them, but not that much that Lexa could still feel the warmth Clarke emitted. "I'm glad I met you." Clarke whispers so quietly that Lexa barely just catches it but she does and she turns her head to gaze at the blonde beauty beside her. "You intrigue me Lexa, I want to figure you out." Clarke turns her head to meet Lexa's green eyes and both girls' breath hitch slightly. 

 

"What have you got so far?" Lexa asks. She wanted to know what Clarke thought of her and she wanted her to be honest about it. 

 

"You're smart, not just law school smart, street smart, the meaning of life smart," Lexa laughs at that but continues listening to Clarke. "you come off as having a huge ego, a sarcastic ass and a little guarded and closed off, slightly jaded, but I get the sense that secretly you're a nice person, I mean, you just took your time to reassure me that life isn't all that bad." 

 

"I'm both offended and honoured." Lexa says lightly coaxing a small smile from Clarke. 

 

"I kind of wish I hadn't met you this way though, as my fiancée that I'm set to marry." Clarke admits because the thought of accidentally stumbling upon Lexa in a coffee shop one day, or accidentally bumping into her like they had just a second ago, was cheesy but every girl's dream - plus Lexa would've been a mighty find.

 

"I'm curious, why me?" Lexa asks and Clarke rises her eyebrows. 

 

"Your mom didn't tell you?" Clarke asks and Lexa shakes her head. "My mom thinks that an arranged marriage is the only way I'll ever find someone, even if they don't love me, she thinks I'm damaged goods and your mom thinks you're the same." Clarke explains and Lexa had to admit that stung a little. 

 

"Damaged goods?" Lexa questions though it was more to herself than Clarke - she had an inkling as to why her mom thought such a thing. Lexa sighs and closes her eyes turning away from Clarke. Truth was, Lexa was somewhat damaged but she wasn't about to admit that out loud. 

 

"You lost someone." It wasn't a question, not really, though it was open enough that Lexa could deny it if need be. Lexa nods her head and Clarke softens immediately. Something about Lexa made Clarke want to wear her heart on her sleeve, something about her made Clarke want to confess everything, so it was no surprise when the next words left her mouth. "I know how that feels." Lexa's eyes open instantly and she twists around to stare at Clarke. 

 

Lexa had never felt more comfortable when around someone. Clarke made her feel naked, exposed, and this information made her squirm. She felt like Clarke could read everything about her: how her heart was bent out of shape and she was certain she was unlovable and unable to find anyone ever again. 

 

That wasn't true of course since Lexa had her perfectly unreadable mask held firmly in place. "I'm glad I met you too." Lexa mutters wanting to change the subject back. The pair fall into comfortable silence, staring up at the stars above them and somewhere along the way Lexa's hand had found Clarke’s and they were lying side by side, under the stars, with their hands intertwined. 

 

"About that dinner..." Clarke interrupts the silence. "I think we should get to know each other a little better." Lexa grins at the blonde and they fall into a quiet lull of talking back and forth. 

 

They talk well into the night, their conversation becoming less frequent as each of them felt sleep creep up on them, but neither could find the strength to walk away and Lexa found she didn't want to leave Clarke’s side. 

 

Damaged goods Lexa certainly was but she didn't feel like it when she was next to Clarke - she didn't feel whole either but she felt  _ something _ . Without really knowing it, the pair fall asleep beside one another, hands intertwined and their steady heartbeats beating as one.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Perhaps you can teach Miss Griffin?" Alfred suggests playfully and Clarke scowls at him.
> 
> "I'm a... decent cook." Clarke protests and Alfred laughs at the suggestion. 
> 
> "Respectfully, Miss Griffin, but you put a frozen pizza in the oven still in its box." Clarke opens her mouth to protest but Alfred continues. "You managed to burn porridge, I mean, really how does someone do that?" Lexa laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you all know this is going to be a really fluffy fic with minimal angst but I'm loving writing it so far :D Thanks to everyone who commented on the last chapter and left kudos! Now I hope you enjoy this chapter also.

Lexa wakes up tangled in someone else's limbs and with a mouthful of blonde hair in her mouth. She was a little confused at first, forgetting where she had fallen asleep, before she realised she was cuddling her wife to be on the floor of some kind of art studio that had a huge beautiful skyline above them. Lexa looks up at the sky above them and blinks a couple of times. Judging by the light it was probably about ten in the morning far too early for Lexa to be awake and yet here she was. She hadn't meant to fall asleep next to Clarke - she  _ certainly  _ hadn't meant to fall asleep snuggling the blonde. 

 

She feels Clarke stir and she freezes at the movement unsure if Clarke wanted her to move - not that she could really since Clarke was practically on top of her. "Morning." The blonde mumbles and Lexa really hated the gruffness to it and how it turned her on a little. 

 

"Morning." Lexa repeats in greeting and she watches as Clarke smiles softly. Lexa untangles herself from Clarke’s grip and stands up realising she was still only in a shirt and her underwear and now she had to walk back to her room. Clarke sits up and runs a hand through her tousled hair with a long sigh. "Did you sleep well?" Lexa asks after a moment of just staring at Clarke - she figured it'd be less creepy if she talked. 

 

"I actually did." Clarke says and Lexa helps her stand. "I've never slept that good since..." Clarke stops dead. Her mind was sluggish, after only just waking up, but Lexa knew what Clarke was referring to. Sure, she didn't know the details surrounding the incident but Lexa knew she'd lost someone as she had to. 

 

"Right." Lexa agrees because she too hadn't slept that well since Costia. Lexa felt almost guilty for the comfort that Clarke gave her, once only brought to her by Costia, she wasn't moving on, she wasn't even sure she really liked Clarke that way, but she couldn't deny that there was something between them - something that excited the brunette to no end. "We should probably get back to our rooms." Lexa informs Clarke and she nods. 

 

The pair stumble their way back to their rooms still slightly out of it after their peaceful sleep. Lexa closes her door to her bedroom and collapses on her bed. She didn't want to get dressed, she wanted to stay in her pyjamas and relax all day. It was Sunday, Gods day - or whatever. 

 

A knock at her door causes Lexa to frown. "Come in, it’s open!" Lexa calls and she watches as blonde hair sticks through her door still dishevelled and out of place. 

 

"My parents and your mom have gone out." Lexa frowns at this - how could her mom just leave her like that? "They won't be back until about lunch so we have the whole house to ourselves." Clarke clarifies and that shouldn't sound like an insinuation to do something - it definitely shouldn't sound like one of those texts you send when you’re teenager and know your house will be empty so you invite your girlfriend over hoping to get lucky - but it was there. 

 

Lexa stands up and faces the blonde with a huge grin an idea appearing to her. "I have an idea." Lexa says and Clarke frowns at her but she was smiling with amusement. "Let me grab some shorts and I'll meet you out there." No way was Lexa about to get dressed into clothes. She'd much rather stay in her pj's and just throw on some shorts for added decency. 

 

"Why? I think I'd like it better if you just wore your underwear." Clarke teases and Lexa blushes a deep red getting flustered by the comment. 

 

"Shut up and meet me outside in a minute." Lexa replies grumpily and Clarke exits leaving Lexa to put her shorts on. 

 

Once Lexa was satisfied with her shorts she exits the bedroom to find Clarke leaning against the wall across from the brunette's door. They walk together down the stairs and Clarke leads Lexa to the kitchen since that was where she had requested that they go. Clarke didn't know what Lexa had planned but she was certainly intrigued. 

 

Lexa looks around the enormous kitchen with a lost look on her face and she hears Clarke let out a laugh at her. "What?" Lexa asks. "How do you not get lost in this house?" Lexa mutters and Clarke chuckles stepping so she is beside Lexa. 

 

"What do you want and I'll get it for you?" Clarke offers and Lexa frowns - she wasn't used to receiving help. 

 

"Well that's a fridge, so, I can get the milk and eggs from there right?" Clarke nods and Lexa smiles proudly - Clarke has to resist the urge to burst out laughing. "Can you maybe get flour?" Lexa asks and Clarke walks off to collect what Lexa had requested. 

 

Lexa opens the fridge and her mouth almost hits the floor at the selection of food that lined the shelves.  _ Seriously, is there any food they don't have? _ After taking her time to find the eggs she carefully maneuvers other foods out of the way to pull the carton free. She grabs the milk and retreats back to one of the countertops where Clarke was standing - the blonde had even gotten Lexa a bowl and wooden spoon already guessing what Lexa was doing. 

 

Lexa silently sets to work and Clarke watches her with a smile both amused at Lexa and a little confused. "Of all the things we could have been doing while our parents are out and you want to cook?" Clarke asks lightly. Lexa looks at Clarke and shrugs with a playful smile on her face. "You realise we have people for that right?" Clarke asks and Lexa nods. 

 

"I figured, but this is so much fun." Lexa sweeps a strand of her hair from her face and in doing so transfers the flour that was on her hands onto her face. Clarke bites her tongue to hold back the laugh that was building inside her at the sight -  _ God, Lexa was adorable. _ Lexa notices anyway - especially with Clarke's shaking form - and she raises her eyebrow just once before Clarke bursts out laughing. 

 

"You have a little something there." Clarke teases showing Lexa on her own face what she was talking about. Lexa frowns before a mischievous glint appears in her eyes. 

 

"Oh." Lexa says and Clarke doesn't know why but it makes her nervous. "I see." Lexa flicks a pinch of flour at Clarke and the blonde flinches away but she's not quick enough and the flour lands with succession on her shirt and a little on her face. "I think you've got a little something there." Lexa says with a smirk. 

 

"So that's how you want to play this?" Clarke asks and Lexa stares at her. They both have a mini staring competition - it was like those old western films when two guys are getting ready to duel to the death - and then suddenly Clarke grabs a handful of flour and throws it at Lexa spurring the brunette into action. 

 

The pair engage in a flour war, throwing and dodging, giggling and laughing, and making a big fucking mess, but Lexa hadn't felt this good since, _well_ , since forever. Clarke holds a hand up in surrender stopping Lexa who was holding two handfuls of flour in her hands. "Okay, I surrender, stop please!” Clarke calls waving her hand to emphasise her point, Lexa narrows her eyes suspiciously at the blonde, Clarke had a grin on her face that said otherwise. Then the blonde, in one swift motion, brings her other hand out and... _is that?_ _Yep, that's a whole bag of flour._

 

Before Lexa can react Clarke is dumping the whole bag on her head and Lexa just takes the attack, admitting defeat, and drops her loaded hands. She pouts once Clarke is done emptying the bag and the blonde chuckles at the sight in front of her: Lexa was coated in flour, she looked like a powdered donut, which Clarke obviously found hysterical since she was holding her stomach from the pain of laughing too hard. "Oh my God." Clarke wipes her tears away and stares at the mound of flour on the top of Lexa's head. Lexa had a thought and Clarke raises her eyebrows seeing the brunette's eyes light up. "Lexa... what are you-?" Clarke asks as Lexa steps closer. "What are-  _ Oh my God _ !" Clarke squeals as Lexa shakes her head like a dog, and the flour flies everywhere, covering Clarke in even more of the white powdered stuff then she already was and exacting her revenge. 

 

"I could just bake you up right now." Lexa says with a grin and Clarke rolls her eyes. 

 

"You started this." Clarke accuses and Lexa holds her hand to her chest feigning hurt. 

 

" _ Me _ ?  _ No,  _ I'm just a sweet lawyer, why would I ever start a flour war?" Lexa asks incredulously and Clarke flicks flour at her with a small smile. 

 

"You look like Casper the friendly ghost." Clarke comments. 

 

"Yeah, well, you look like... something else that's white and fluffy and cute." Lexa retorts and Clarke shakes her head with a smile playing at her lips. Clarke sticks her tongue out and Lexa was about to respond when she hears someone clear their throat. The pair whirl around both wearing an expression close to a deer being caught in headlights. Being in pyjamas and the state the kitchen and themselves were in was something they didn't want to get caught doing. 

 

"I see Miss Woods found the food." Alfred says coming into the kitchen. His smile was teasing and he had to admit it felt nice to see Clarke having fun for once - he'd been worried about the young girl for some time now. 

 

"Yeah, she's not very good at it." Clarke replies dusting herself off somewhat but the amount of flour on her was impossible to just be wiped off. 

 

"Excuse me but I didn't even get a chance to cook. You attacked me." Lexa points out though Clarke wanted to protest at the ‘attacked me’ part but Lexa was already speaking by then. "I happen to be a very competent cook thank you very much." 

 

"Perhaps you can teach Miss Griffin?" Alfred suggests playfully and Clarke scowls at him.

 

"I'm a... decent cook." Clarke protests and Alfred laughs at the suggestion. 

 

"Respectfully, Miss Griffin, but you put a frozen pizza in the oven still in its box." Clarke opens her mouth to protest but Alfred continues. "You managed to burn porridge, I mean, really how does someone do that?" Lexa laughs. "Oh and that one time you almost burnt down the house-" 

 

"I'm very aware of my past cooking experiences." Clarke cuts in glaring at Lexa to shut up and stop her laughing but that just made her laugh harder. "Okay, first of all, frozen pizzas are hard to understand, plus I was half asleep. Secondly, that porridge was bad or something and thirdly, that was one time Alfred,  _ god _ , you nearly burn down a house and you never live it down." 

 

"Wow Clarke, maybe you do need a few lessons." Lexa says nudging her playfully and Clarke rolls her eyes. 

 

"How about you girls go get cleaned up and I'll clean up in here?" Alfred suggests. 

 

"What?" Lexa asks surprised. "You don't have to do that, we made the mess we should clean it up." Clarke stares at her -  _ she really didn't understand the concept of a butler did she?  _ Clarke did have to admit that she found it quite endearing that Lexa was offering to help and Clarke did feel bad for Alfred since they'd made quite the mess. 

 

"Miss Woods, I insist, your parents will be home soon and you can't be standing here looking like that." He gestures to them and Lexa had to admit that,  _ yeah _ , they were a mess.

 

"Are you sure?" Lexa hesitates she liked Alfred and she didn't want to put any increased pressure on him. 

 

"Certain." He assures. Lexa nods before following Clarke out of the room. She still didn't know her way around and Clarke smiles at the fact that the brunette was following her around - almost like she was a lost puppy which she totally had the adorableness to pull off. Clarke decides to be a good citizen and delivers Lexa to her room. 

 

"I guess things got a little out of hand." Clarke says, holding her arms out to the side and then dropping them, and Lexa nods her head. 

 

"We didn't get the chance to eat." Lexa notes. Clarke checks her watch, it was pretty much brunch by now, she could ask Lexa out to get to know her future wife better but she'd already promised dinner and she did have some errands to attend to. 

 

"If you're hungry just ask Alfred for something." Clarke informs her and Lexa nods again. "So do you still want to go to that dinner?" Clarke questions and Lexa smiles softly. 

 

"That sounds great." Lexa replies and Clarke nods. 

 

Lexa disappears into her room, she goes straight to the bathroom and observes herself in the mirror. She was well and truly coated in a thick layer of white powder. Lexa hadn't meant for it to get that out of hand but, then again, it had been Clarke who had dumped the whole bag on top of her head - maybe they were just as bad as each other. Lexa was pretty sure she'd have flour coming out of her ears for months to come but, she had to admit, that was the lightest she'd felt in a long time. She turns away from the mirror and hops in the shower to wash off the mess that was herself. 

 

When Lexa was finally clean and dressed she finds that Clarke's parents had returned, along with her mother, and the blonde had left to go take care of a few errands she had. That left Lexa alone to entertain herself. She debated getting to know her in laws a little better but, honestly, Abby was a little too intense for her liking and Lexa liked Jake too much to risk her social awkwardness screwing everything up so she decided to just go outside. 

 

She was walking around the front of a car, completely oblivious to her surroundings, when she trips over something and lands on the ground catching herself with her hands. She hisses in pain at the feeling of her hand grazing the pavement and the added stress at holding her weight. Lexa looks to see what she had tripped over to find a pair of legs sticking out from under the car. Her eyes grow wide, as whoever was under there begins sliding out, she considers running for a moment but she'd also hurt herself and she just wanted to sit and pout for a moment. 

 

To Lexa's surprise, a young woman slips out from under the car, wearing overalls and holding some kind of tool that Lexa had no idea what it was or what it did, and she was grinning at Lexa with brilliant white teeth. "You should really watch where you're going." She comments and Lexa rolls her eyes. 

 

"Jeez, thanks, I'll keep a lookout for legs sticking out from under cars in the future." Lexa replies sarcastically and the woman laughs. 

 

"You'd be surprised." She says. "Names Raven Reyes, mechanic by day, superhero by night." She introduces herself, now sitting up fully, though she remained seated on her little board that had wheels attached to it - Lexa assumed it made it easier to get under vehicles but she didn't have much experience in that department. 

 

"Superhero by night?  _ Seriously _ ?" Lexa raises an eyebrow and Raven makes a shushing sound. 

 

" _ Shh _ , don't tell anyone! It's a secret." Lexa didn't know this girl but she already knew she was a giant dork - something she could fully relate to herself -and she was a little amusing if not irritating as well. "So are you going to tell me your name or should I just call you green eyes?" Raven asks. Lexa considers it for a moment before shrugging. 

 

"Lexa." She introduces herself and the woman's eyes widen in surprise. 

 

"Oh shit! You're  _ her _ , you're  _ the _ Lexa, as in Clarke's fiancée Lexa Woods?" Raven rushes out and Lexa nods her head - she was pretty certain all those facts were correct but Raven spoke so quickly she wasn't completely sure. 

 

"You know Clarke?" Lexa mentally facepalms. It was a pretty stupid question considering the mechanic was on the family lot and working on someone's car. What she had meant was  _ how _ Raven knew Clarke because it sounded like more than she was just the blonde's mechanic. 

 

"Hell yeah I know Clarke. She's only like, my best friend." Raven replies with a wide grin and Lexa was wondering if that was a constant thing since the brunette hadn't stopped grinning since she'd rolled out from under the car -  _ God Anya would hate this girl. _ "Wow, Clarke never said you were hot." Raven comments and Lexa chokes on air coughing and spluttering at Raven's words. She manages to compose herself and clears her throat. 

 

"Thanks." She murmurs a red tinge to her cheeks. Raven stands up and wipes her greased covered hands on her overalls, she then offers Lexa her hand once she was certain that all the grease was gone. Lexa hesitates for a moment before reluctantly taking the hand and the mechanic pulls Lexa to her feet. 

 

"It's good to finally meet you green eyes." Raven says and Lexa rolls her eyes at the new nickname that Raven, so obviously, loved and favoured over Lexa. 

 

"So what are you doing?" Lexa asks curiously as Raven lifts the hood of the car. "With all this I mean." Lexa gestures to Raven's general area and the girl laughs. 

 

"I'm giving Clarke's car a once over, making sure it's in tip top condition." Raven answers. She makes a grabbing action towards a specific tool and Lexa hands her it. 

 

"So how did you meet Clarke?" Lexa asks. 

 

"High school. I accidentally walked into her and charmed her with both my good looks and amazing sense of humour." Lexa got the sense that Raven was being funny - that or she had a huge ego - but something about Raven's personality was almost refreshing to be around. "Oh, and my incredibly brilliant brain." 

 

"So you now you're Clarke's mechanic?" Lexa asks raising an eyebrow. Raven pulls her head out of the engine to look up at the green eyed brunette. 

 

"If you're implying that Clarke uses her friends - she doesn't." Raven says and Lexa's eyes widen. 

 

"I wasn't, no, I didn't mean-" Lexa stumbles over her words.

 

"Relax green eyes, I'm just fucking with you." Raven says patting her on the arm and leaving the grease, that she had gathered on her hand from the engine, on Lexa's flannel. Lexa frowns at the brunette for the action but Raven just shrugs. " _ I _ offered to tune up her car. Plus this is more for me then it is for her, I mean, have you seen this baby?" Raven lets out a low whistle and Lexa had to admit that the car was impressive but she'd never been good with such things. "Once Clarke swapped with me for a whole week and I never wanted to go back to my shitty Volkswagen." 

 

"She swapped with you?" Lexa asks surprised. She may not understand cars but even she knew that swapping this car in the driveway for a Volkswagen was quite unbelievable -  _ why would anyone want to downgrade _ ? 

 

"Oh yeah, Clarke's like that, never one for fancy things, she hates showing off her wealth. That's why she took my car today, you should've seen her, she gets way too happy over a beat up car that's seen better days." Raven replies. 

 

"So why did she buy this car then?" Lexa asks confused. If Clarke hated showing off her wealth so much then why would she buy such an expensive car if she hated to drive it around? 

 

"I don't know, rich pressure? Her mom probably told her that having any other car would be ridiculous." Raven shrugs. "Clarke's a really down to earth person, hell, I didn't even realise she was loaded until college." Raven says. "She's very good at hiding it, plus she always made sure she got the bus to school. The girl’s weird." Raven comments and Lexa chuckles. Raven turns around then and looks the brunette up and down slightly unnerving Lexa. "You look quite handy actually," Lexa blushes slightly at the comment which causes Raven's grin to widen. "would you mind helping me? I have a spare set of overalls." She says. Lexa pauses for a moment, she didn't exactly have anything better to do and she was bored out of her mind, she could explore the grounds later if she wished but, right now, she'd help the young mechanic. 

 

"Sure." Lexa agrees and Raven hands her the tool she was holding. 

 

" _ Great _ ! Just listen to everything R-dog tells you to do." Raven says with a wink. Lexa shakes her head at the ridiculous nickname but if Raven got to call her green eyes then it was only right that she'd get to call her R-dog,  _ right _ ? 

 

Lexa was sitting on the ground, with her legs crossed, watching Raven placidly. "So what I'm saying is that  _ clearly _ Superman is superior to Batman." Raven concludes and Lexa pulls a face. 

 

"That's ridiculous." Lexa scoffs and Raven glances down at her. 

 

"What have you got against Superman?" Raven asks and Lexa shakes her head. 

 

"Nothing, I'm just saying, just because Batman is a normal dude doesn't mean he's not as awesome as Superman, I mean, have you seen his bat cave?" Lexa questions.

 

"You almost make me think you're straight." Raven says sarcastically and Lexa snorts. 

 

"Sorry but I'm a huge lesbian." Lexa replies causing Raven to laugh.

 

“You're a nerd Woods.” Raven says matter-of-factly. 

 

“So are you Reyes.” Lexa retorts.

 

" _ Alexandria _ !" She hears her mother call her. Lexa rolls her eyes and only just notices the darkening sky. Raven looks at her curiously, a smirk playing on her lips, and Lexa gives her a look that says ' _ don't _ .' Despite Raven's almost annoying personality, Lexa had to -  _ reluctantly _ \- admit that she did enjoy the mechanic’s company - she was witty and good natured and not many people were like that anymore. 

 

Lexa stands up and begins stepping out of the overalls Raven had given her - although the brunette hadn't done much other than listen to Raven's insistent talking, it was like the brunette didn't have an off switch, not that Lexa minded much. "Clarke will be home soon so, I'm sure you can keep yourself busy with her doing whatever you guys do." Raven winks and Lexa feels herself blush at what she was implying. 

 

" _ Alexandria _ !" She hears her mom call again. Lexa mumbles her annoyance and sarcastic comment and says her goodbyes to Raven. 

 

Lexa steps out from behind the vehicles and sees her mother standing a few feet away. "There you are." She says and Lexa stops in front of her. 

 

"You can call me Lexa mom." Lexa mutters but her mother ignores her licking her thumb and rubbing a piece of grease that was on Lexa's cheek. 

 

"Where is Clarke?" She questions. Lexa knew her mom meant well, she cared deeply for her, but sometimes the woman could come off a little cold - much like her daughter. 

 

"Out." Lexa replies simply - it's not like she really knew anyway. "Is there something I can help you with?" Lexa asks. 

 

"Mr Griffin mentioned that Clarke had asked you out to dinner?" Her mom says suggestively and Lexa cocks her head to the side and raises an eyebrow. "Oh come on Alexandria, you have to let me help you get dressed." 

 

"Mom." Lexa groans. "First of all, I don't even know what time Clarke was thinking and, second of all, I don't even know where we'll be going." Lexa didn't want to get dressed up all fancy if they were going to some low-key restaurant but she couldn't dress down either in case they ended up going to a fancy one. 

 

"Then we'll play it safe." Her mother says like it was obvious. "I haven't seen you this relaxed and open since-" 

 

" _ Mom _ ." Lexa interrupts. Her mother stops her movements with her hands and drops the strands of Lexa’s hair she had been fussing with and lets out a loud sigh. 

 

"Okay, I won't meddle, but at least let me enjoy seeing my daughter happy for once." She says and Lexa purses her lips. 

 

"I'm always happy." Lexa protests but her argument was weak and feeble at best. 

 

"Oh, Alexandria, honey, you haven't been happy for a long time." Lexa sighs, runs a hand through her curls and relents. 

 

"Fine, I suppose it really wouldn't hurt." She gives in and her mother happily drags her inside to get her dressed.

 

Against all Lexa's protests her mother had somehow managed to get the girl to wear a dress. It was a simple dress really but, in Lexa's opinion, less is more. It was a black knee high dress, that dipped only slightly at the neckline, showing off only the smallest amount of cleavage, her hair was down and flowing and her mother had taken it upon herself to straighten out Lexa's curls - much to the girl’s annoyance. Alfred had stopped by to inform them that 'Miss Griffin' suggested that they leave at seven and, of course, Lexa had had no objection, if anything, she was happy to escape her mother's suffocating and fussing. 

 

Lexa was walking down the stairs, her mother by her side helping her walk down the stairs in her heels - Lexa wasn't exactly a top model when it came to heels either. Waiting at the base of the steps was Clarke and Lexa's breath catches in her throat at the sight that awaited her. Where Lexa thought less was more it seemed Clarke agreed. She was wearing a white dress that hung quite low, giving Lexa a generous view of the blonde's cleavage (which she most  _ certainly  _ had not stared at), she had thin straps over her shoulders, that also went around her neck and across her exposed flesh on her chest, she had black heels on that contrasted nicely with her outfit, her makeup was practically non existent, which just highlighted the blonde's beauty, and her bright blonde hair was free and flowing. In short:  _ Clarke was fucking stunning _ . 

 

Clarke smiles as Lexa steps off the last step and then, quite ungraciously, the brunette stumbles only to be caught by Clarke. This was the second time Clarke had caught a stumbling Lexa keeping her from falling: once when they had crashed into one another in the hallway and now. "Careful bambi." Clarke teases with a grin - Lexa really hoped that wouldn't become a  _ thing _ . "Usually I use the line ‘I just can't keep my hands off of you’ but it seems kind of a necessity with you." Lexa scoffs at that but she was blushing nevertheless from both the bambi comment and the hands one. 

 

"I'm perfectly capable of walking Clarke." Lexa replies and Clarke's grin only widens her blue orbs shining with amusement at the flustered brunette. 

 

"I'm sure that you can." She replies and steps back and Lexa immediately regrets it - maybe she kind of missed Clarke's touch. 

 

"On second thought." Lexa says and Clarke's grin widens again. She holds her arm out and Lexa hooks her own arm through it. She was glad that Clarke was sturdy enough to keep her on her two feet and maybe Lexa didn't mind the closeness of it all. Lexa was pretty certain she had a crush on Clarke, no, she wasn't falling, she was pretty sure she could never love again, she was engaged to the woman, she didn't have much say in that, but she certainly had a crush. It was impossible not to have a crush on the blonde, in fact, Lexa was certain anyone who knew Clarke loved her. Lexa was only somewhat aware of her mother who was watching them carefully but her main focus was on staying upright and not falling. 

 

They exit the house and Clarke leads Lexa over to the car that Raven had previously been working on and she holds the passenger door open for her. Lexa relaxes back in the comfortable leather of the seats sighing with the coolness that it gave her. Clarke slips into the driver's seat beside Lexa and looks at the brunette. "You ready?" She asks and Lexa nods. The brunette falls back against the seat at the speed of which Clarke drives off at. 

 

To say Clarke was a bad driver would be a grossly understatement, at least, to Lexa. The blonde was positively the worst driver that Lexa had come across - and she'd once had to carpool with Anya back in high school. The blonde didn't even keep her eyes on the road and Lexa made a mental note to tell her to be more careful when she stopped her shaking.

 

Lexa had never been fond of cars and that had defiantly not changed, it had worsened after Costia, so much so that Lexa actually went out of her way to walk to work leaving the apartment an hour earlier just to be on time. It's not that Lexa never got in a car, quite the opposite actually, she just liked to avoid it when she could - she could also drive herself and now she really wished she had after witnessing the monstrosity that was Clarke's driving. Clarke's driving unnerved Lexa to no end and she was concerned for the blonde's safety. "I am so driving us home." Lexa breathes following Clarke to the restaurant doors. The blonde holds the door open for Lexa, who she smiles in gratitude, before Clarke follows her in and once again takes Lexa's arm. 

 

"Why?" Clarke asks curiously. "You really want to have a try of my car that bad?" Clarke asks with raised eyebrows. 

 

"No, I really don't want to die with you behind the wheel." Lexa retorts. "How did you pass your test?" Lexa asks and Clarke grins. 

 

"On the fifth try." She replies and Lexa's eyes grow wide at that. 

 

"I'm never getting in a car with you again." Lexa states and Clarke laughs. "Car accidents are no laughing matter Clarke." 

 

"I never said that they were." Clarke says eyeing Lexa carefully. "I'm a perfectly good driver Lexa, if it makes you feel better, I'll pay extra attention to the road." Lexa lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding and looks at the blue eyed girl beside her. 

 

"Just be careful." Lexa warns. 

 

"Cross my heart." Clarke makes a crossing gesture where her heart is drawing Lexa's attention to that area before she catches herself but, if Clarke notices, she doesn't say anything. Clarke found it sweet that Lexa was worried about her but she had a feeling that her fears ran deeper than just being for the blonde. She didn't want to pry, or come off as rude, so Clarke didn't press for anything more - just a promise to be careful and that was enough to make the taller girl relax. One thing Clarke did enjoy about Lexa was the sound of her name coming from those plump lips. The way she rolled the 'r' and clicked the 'k' was enough for Clarke to know she never wanted to hear her name being pronounced any other way. 

 

They reach the hostess podium where a girl with black hair and blue eyes stood behind. "Clarke!" The girl exclaims. "I haven't seen you in forever!" 

 

"Maya, it's good to see you again." The blonde releases Lexa momentarily to hug her friend in greeting and Lexa just awkwardly stands there. "This is Lexa, she's my fiancée." Clarke says and Lexa smiles at that -  _ it was a little weird to hear but it was also oddly satisfying _ . The girl's eyes grow wide and she takes Lexa's outstretched hand. 

 

"It's nice to meet you Lexa." Maya says with a kind smile and Lexa returns it. 

 

"You too Maya." Lexa says in return.

 

With formalities out the way, Maya turns back to Clarke and whispers under her breath. ‘She's hot.’ and Clarke laughs. "So where are Tweedledee and Tweedledum?" Clarke questions. 

 

"I'm tweedledee right?" A voice asks and Clarke turns to see Monty standing only a few feet away. She wraps the young boy in a bone crushing hug and he laughs at her affection. "I've missed you too princess." Lexa cocks her head to the side at the nickname but chooses to ignore it -  _ for now _ . 

 

"Of course you're Tweedledee, you're far too bright to be dum." Clarke says pinching his cheek - Monty always had been like a younger brother to her. 

 

"Jasper will be so pleased." Maya says lightheartedly. 

 

"Let me take you to your table." Monty says gesturing inside. To Lexa's surprise, the restaurant wasn't that fancy, nor was it run down, it was somewhere in the middle - middle class if you like - which was perfect for her. It seemed that Clarke knew the owners pretty well since the place was surprisingly busy and, of course, all the hugging. Lexa follows the blonde but Clarke, wanting Lexa to not feel left out, reaches her hand out to the brunette and leads her along with a reassuring glance over the shoulder and a squeeze of the hand - Lexa attempts to ignore the warmth in her chest at that gesture. 

 

Monty leads them to a quiet corner and Clarke pulls the chair out for Lexa before taking her own. Monty grins at the pair and hands then both menus. "Miller will be over to take your orders when you're ready." He informs and Clarke chuckles. 

 

"Getting the boyfriend to do your work again Monty?" Clarke asks playfully. She tuts at the young boy in fake disappointment. "I raised you better." 

 

"You didn't raise me at all." Monty points out. "Plus Miller loves me and he loves waiting on people." 

 

"For some reason I don’t believe that but, I guess, you can't really argue with that logic." Clarke says and the boy bows his head slightly in goodbye before scurrying off to go find someone who Lexa assumed was probably this Miller character. 

 

"Well that was interesting." Lexa comments. "Do you know these people?"  _ Stupid question number two of the day, _ Lexa thinks to herself. Clarke doesn't seem to think much of it though and she opens her menu. 

 

"Friends since high school." She shrugs and Lexa nods opening her own menu. She takes a few minutes to scan her options before she decides to speak again. 

 

"Alright Griffin, lay it on me." Lexa says with a grin looking at Clarke over the top of her menu. Clarke looks up to meet Lexa's green eyes and her amused grin that she was giving her. She liked this Lexa much better than the entirely too wound one that had walked into her house in a skirt and a shirt. She looked a lot more relaxed - comfortable even. 

 

"Excuse me?" Clarke asks. "This is  _ technically  _ our first date. I will not lay anything on you." Clarke replies feining offence. Lexa rolls her eyes at the insinuation but she didn't seem phased by it. The moment she had met Clarke she knew the blonde had a sarcastic edge to her, it was something Lexa appreciated and it mingled well with her own personality. 

 

"That's not what I was meant and you know it." Lexa accuses and Clarke smirks with her eyes returning to the menu. "Come on, tell me about yourself, all I know is your name is Clarke Griffin, you have questionable taste in friends and, apparently, you like to start flour wars." 

 

"Okay, first of all, you started the flour war-" 

 

"Not at all true, you're the one who pointed out I had flower on my face." 

 

"Secondly, how do you know I have questionable taste in friends?" Clarke asks suspiciously and Lexa blushes slightly. 

 

"I met Raven today." She answers and that was enough for Clarke to understand. Monty and Maya were hardly questionable but Raven? Raven she understood. 

 

"Ah, Raven, no wonder." Clarke mutters. "For your information, I happen to have amazing friends and Raven is fiercely loyal." 

 

"I don't doubt it." Lexa replies. "I didn't mean to imply-" 

 

"You didn't, I'm kidding Lexa, Raven is weird but she's a weird I like in my life - she makes me laugh. As for my other friends, they're all different in their own way." Clarke explains. A waiter, sporting a beard and a name tag that read Miller, walks over to take their orders and places a bottle of wine on their table before walking away - exchanging brief words with Clarke. "So, what do you want to know?" Clarke asks once the waiter had left. Lexa ponders for a moment, it was such an open ended question, she didn't even know where to begin. 

 

"Anything." Lexa replies and Clarke smiles at her response. 

 

"Well, my name’s Clarke Griffin, I grew up here in Polis, I graduated high school as the valedictorian and at the top of my class for med school. I once had a pet dog named fish, I have a fear of spiders, I'm twenty six years old and I once dropped my iPhone down the toilet and flushed it." Clarke says and Lexa pays attention to every last detail smiling as she rambled on - of course that wasn't everything but Lexa got a pretty good idea of who Clarke was from it. 

 

"You had a pet dog named fish?" Lexa quirks a perfect eyebrow and Clarke chuckles. 

 

"I was five! What did you expect?" Clarke asks and Lexa shakes her head in amusement. 

 

"That's cute." She comments. 

 

"So, Lexa, tell me about yourself." Clarke gestures and Lexa pauses for a moment. 

 

"My name’s Alexandria Woods, but I've always preferred Lexa, I grew up in Arkadia and was practically ridiculed my whole high school experience because I was the only out gay there. But I had my friends there to support me, like Anya and Indra, I live in a small apartment building back in Arkadia, I’m also twenty six years old and my neighbour happens to be my long time best friend Lincoln who's basically a puppy. I graduated law school with ease, because I'm obviously a genius, and now I'm ready to rub all my success in the faces of all my high school bullies." 

 

"That sounds rough." Clarke comments leaning back in her seat and Lexa just shrugs. 

 

"It got better once I left high school, turns out college is much more accepting, it's also where I met-" Lexa stops mid-sentence and Clarke watches her carefully. "It's where I met Costia." Lexa finishes but Clarke got the sense that Lexa didn't want to talk about that and, judging by the tone of Lexa's voice, that someone that Lexa had lost was Costia. 

 

"I get that coming out can be hard." Clarke says steering the conversation away from Costia and Lexa gives Clarke a grateful smile for the scapegoat. "My mom wasn't exactly thrilled when she found out I was bi." 

 

"Yeah, I kind of noticed the whole saying grace thing, I didn't take you'd be a religious family." Lexa replies and Clarke chuckles. 

 

"We're not, not really, my mom more so than anything but my dad isn't - he just goes along with my mom so she doesn't feel left out." Clarke says with a shrug. "It was him who picked you." 

 

"Oh really?" Lexa asks leaning forward with her head on her hand. 

 

"Well, initially, then he convinced my mom and then our moms got in touch and here we are now." Clarke gestures between them and Lexa smiles. 

 

"Yes, here we are." Lexa agrees. "So we haven't actually talked about our wedding, you know that right?" 

 

"Uh huh." Clarke nods her head and Lexa taps the table nervously. 

 

"So do you just not want to talk about the elephant in the restaurant?" Lexa asks and Clarke snorts. The waiter comes over with their food and places their respective meals down in front of them before hurrying off. 

 

"I was thinking the wedding could be in about six months? That gives us plenty of time to plan everything right?" Clarke asks. Lexa nods her head but, honestly, she had no idea. 

 

"Or enough time for one of us to get cold feet and run." Lexa mutters and Clarke nudges her under the table sporting a playful smile. 

 

"Are your feet cold now?" She asks and Lexa tries to not shiver at the huskiness of Clarke's voice but she fails miserably. 

 

"They're fine." Lexa replies and they were which she did find somewhat alarming -  _ surely, she would've had some kind of nerves about the wedding? _ Clarke nods her head and twirls her fork in her hand thinking about her next question. 

 

"So I think we should talk about sex." Clarke says and Lexa almost chokes on the mouthful of wine she had chosen to take a sip of at that precise moment. Clarke watches with amusement as Lexa coughs and attempts to clear her throat. 

 

"What about it?" Lexa says with her voice coming out strained. 

 

"We're going to be married." Clarke says as her answer. Lexa felt slightly embarrassed to share this information but she had to be honest with Clarke and, besides, she was marrying the woman. 

 

"I've only ever been with one person in my life." Lexa confesses and Clarke's blue eyes soften considerably. 

 

"Oh." She says. Clarke had to admit she was slightly surprised because Lexa seemed like the type that could charm and smooth talk anyone into bed -  _ and was probably amazing in it _ , she shoves that thought aside - but, then again, she also seemed like the reserved type - not at all like someone who would go sleeping around. 

 

"You?" Lexa asks curiously and Clarke plays with her food a little. 

 

"Well, depends, I've been with a few people like that but only one person really meant something to me." Clarke confesses and Lexa nods. That was something Clarke realised right then, although Clarke had only really been with one person wholly and truthfully, she had been with other people purely for pleasure but, for Lexa, sex was obviously special to her - that might be a problem for Clarke. "So what do you think?" Clarke ponders and Lexa looks at her with amusement glinting in her green eyes. 

 

"I'd be a monster to hold out on my wife." Lexa says sarcastically. 

 

"It's okay if you're not comfortable." Clarke says. They could have an open marriage, or be one of those married couples that never had sex - although that did not appeal to Clarke one bit. Lexa was attractive, like off the charts, goddess worthy, drop dead gorgeous,  _ attractive  _ and Clarke couldn't deny that she definitely had a strong sexual attraction towards the brunette but Clarke was just genuinely enjoying being with Lexa. Last night, when they had talked under the stars and fallen asleep, this morning when they'd playfully had a flour fight, that got way too out of hand, and their constant banter and light hearted fun was endearing and certainly something Clarke hadn't had with anyone for a long time. She actually found herself genuinely interested in spending time with the brunette and, should their marriage not work out, she hoped that they'd at least be able to be good friends. 

 

It had only been two days -  _ two days _ \- and Clarke was already starting to feel herself heal just a little bit. Clarke wasn't convinced she ever really would be able to put her life back together but Lexa just made her feel light, like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, and she couldn't help but feel like that was wrong - or at least weird to be happening so soon. "Clarke?" Lexa interrupts Clarke's thoughts with an amused smile and Clarke focuses back on the woman sat in front of her. 

 

"Huh?" Clarke says and mentally face palms at how stupid that response was. Lexa didn't seem to mind though and she lets out a breathy laugh in response. 

 

"I said we'll cross that bridge when we get to it." Lexa repeats for the blonde and she nods in response. "So, tell me, how did you come up with the name fish?" Clarke chuckles before launching back into easy conversation with the brunette.

 

Dinner was pleasant enough. Both had found a rhythm of talking to one another and sharing details - though Clarke and Lexa left some of those painful ones out - and getting to know each other. True to her word, Clarke had driven home at a much slower pace, and she had kept her eyes on the road for the majority of the drive, and Lexa seemed to be relaxed considerably more. Clarke had briefly wondered why the brunette was so afraid of cars but she'd quickly waved it off as being none of her business - if it had been her business Lexa would've told her. 

 

Now, Lexa might have had a little too much wine but she was hardly drunk, tipsy maybe, but not drunk. Clarke was laughing as the brunette unstrapped her heels and decided to carry them rather than walk in them to the house. Clarke had no objections and the driveway was smooth enough that Lexa wouldn't injure her feet anyway. So there was no need for Clarke to help Lexa and yet here she was leading her, arm in arm, to the front door laughing as the brunette still stumbled on her feet - she really felt like bambi suited the girl: clumsy yet cute. 

 

They stop at the front door mostly because Lexa stops and she was keeping Clarke in place. "Well will you look at? It's the end of the night." Lexa says. 

 

"Normally my date doesn't come home with me until the third one." Clarke says and Lexa laughs at the joke. Lexa's laugh was something to behold - something told Clarke it was a rarity and yet she'd heard the girl laugh on several occasions and each time it had been just as amazing as the last. 

 

"What about a kiss goodnight?" Lexa asks and Clarke blushes at the question. 

 

"Well I-I, well, it depends." Clarke stutters. Lexa leans in a little bit and Clarke feels herself do the same - she just couldn't help it, the attraction between them was a little overwhelming. 

 

They were a few inches apart and Clarke was caught up in the emerald green of Lexa's beautiful eyes. "I had a really nice time." Lexa says leaning against the door slightly. "You look really pretty, did I mention that?" 

 

"Must have slipped your mind." Clarke says with amusement at the compliment. 

 

"Trust me, it didn't." Lexa says once again making the blonde blush and Lexa giggles. She liked making Clarke blush - normally it was Clarke making Lexa blush. 

 

"Well you looked very beautiful yourself." Clarke returns the compliment and she meant it -  _ one hundred percent. _

 

"Thank you." Lexa says all the while they were subconsciously leaning closer,  _ and closer, and closer _ , and  _ then _ ... Lexa leans back, a grin plastered on her face, and Clarke jumps at the sudden movement - she'd been entranced and -  _ maybe  _ \- shamelessly staring at the brunette's lips. "Goodnight Clarke." Lexa says and Clarke shakes her head recovering quickly from her disappointment. 

 

"How about I walk you to your room? If you can't find your way around sober, you certainly won't be able to drunk." Clarke teases lightly.

 

"I am not drunk." Lexa protests but Clarke just chuckles and helps the brunette inside. 

 

"Sure you're not Lexa, sure you're not." Clarke says completely sarcastically. 

 

"Clarke," Lexa complains with an absolutely adorable pout. "I said goodnight." 

 

"Goodnight Lexa," Clarke says softly. "and don't let the bedbugs bite." 

 

"I'm pretty sure this house doesn't have any bedbugs." Lexa comments and Clarke snorts leading the brunette up the stairs. It was only  ten o'clock but after their late night last night, and Lexa's comment about how she found it hard to sleep in places she didn't know, Clarke decided bed was the best place to be for the brunette. "Alfred would squish those bugs." Lexa comments and Clarke really does laugh at that because the thought, and idea, was damn hilarious. "I'm serious." 

 

"Okay bambi." Clarke says and she laughs once again at the pout Lexa gives her. Clarke really liked tipsy -  _ drunk  _ \- Lexa. She was absolutely adorable. So maybe Clarke liked her future wife:  _ sue her _ .

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts!
> 
> Ps I'm total Commander Mechanic brotp trash tbh.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Please." Bellamy says with an eye roll and his sister turns on him. 
> 
> "Do you want me to prove it?" Octavia asks and, for a second, Bellamy genuinely looked afraid until Clarke steps in. 
> 
> "Alright, there will be no Blake off in my house." Clarke says tugging on Octavia's arm for her to face her. The younger Blake grins happily turning to face her best friend. 
> 
> or
> 
> Lexa meets the Blake siblings after spending the day with Clarke and finding out about a piece of Clarke's past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long but currently I'm just updating whenever I can since I have exams but thank you for all the comments on the last chapter. I'm relieved to know that people are enjoying this so far and I hope you enjoy this update just as much. Anyway, I'll stop boring you, here it is, enjoy:

Lexa wakes up with an audible groan. Her head was pounding and she lets out a curse when the blinding sunlight from the patio door hits her eyes.  _ Why had she drank that damn wine? _ Lexa wasn't a lightweight - not usually - but, apparently, expensive wine went straight to her head. Lexa wasn't a wine drinker to be fair, she was more of a beer and whiskey kind of gal, so her body was  _ not _ used to wine. 

 

To make matters worse, Lexa couldn't really remember anything of substance after getting in the car with Clarke.  _ Okay, maybe that wasn't true _ . She remembered Clarke had driven much more safely than she had going to the restaurant but after that? Lexa had little to no idea what had happened. She remembered stumbling and Clarke had said something funny -  _ about bambi? _ Lexa honestly could not, for the life of her, remember anything she or Clarke had said after exiting the car. She remembered that Clarke had brought her to her room, possibly said goodnight, and then that was it. Lexa must have come back into her room and went straight to bed. Lexa peers down at herself and sees that she was still wearing the dress she had had on the previous night.  _ So that explains that, _ Lexa decides. She had went straight to bed and slept like a damn baby. 

 

A knock at the door and someone entering causes Lexa to pull a pillow over her head and groan in protest. "Good morning Miss Woods." Alfred greets happily and Lexa lets out another groan in response. The man chuckles lightly at Lexa's mood and steps further into the room holding the tray he had with him in his hands. "Miss Griffin sent me to see if you were awake." He informs and Lexa instantly sits up causing the pillow falling from her face. She squints at Alfred and raises a painful eyebrow. "She told me that if you were awake to fetch her and then you two could have breakfast on your patio and she also told me to give you this." He places a glass of water and a pill, that Lexa recognised as aspirin, on her bedside table. The tray he was holding contained plates and other cutlery but no food. Lexa swings her feet over the edge of the bed and smiles gratefully at the butler. 

 

"Thank you." She says. "Do you think,  _ maybe _ , you could wait a little while before you talk to Clarke? I'd like to, well, freshen up." Lexa smelt god awful,  _ well _ , maybe not that bad but  _ bad  _ and wearing the same clothes you had the previous night didn't exactly scream classy or clean. 

 

"Of course Miss Woods." He says with a smile. "I will set up here before I retrieve Miss Griffin." 

 

"Thank you." Lexa repeats and she really was thankful. He bobs his head slightly in response. "What's for breakfast?" Lexa asks curiously. 

 

"Miss Griffin insisted upon pancakes." Alfred answers as Lexa takes the pill and gulps the water down instantly feeling better. "That was what you were trying to make before you and Miss Griffin decided that throwing flour at each other was more fun, right?" Alfred asks with a knowing smirk and Lexa gives him a sheepish smile. 

 

"Sorry about that." Lexa apologises and the butler just smiles. 

 

"You already apologised Miss Woods, there is no reason for you to keep doing so." He says. "Now, if you wish to freshen up before I retrieve Miss Griffin, I suggest you hurry." He says. Lexa stands up, wobbles slightly on her feet, and then crosses the room to the bathroom. She closes the door and begins removing her clothing ready to take a shower and to just feel clean again. 

 

**//**

 

Lexa comes out of the bathroom fully dressed in ripped black skinny jeans, a tank top and a flannel shirt. Her hair was still drying, so she hadn't bothered to do anything but towel dry it, so it was curly and clean. She wasn't wearing a lot of makeup, just her usual stuff, and she'd even brushed her teeth so she was feeling fully refreshed and ready to tackle Clarke's personality. 

 

What she hadn't been expecting was for the blonde to be sitting at a seat out on the balcony in Lexa's room bathing in the sunlight. Lexa freezes and stares at Clarke for a moment. She looked stunning in the morning sunlight: it seemed to highlight her blonde hair so it shone impossibly bright and her skin had a beautiful golden glow. Lexa swallows hard before stepping out onto the balcony and sitting on the seat across from her fiancée. 

 

"Morning bambi." Clarke greets with a wide smile and Lexa scowls at the nickname - she had been hoping that wouldn't stick. "Did you have a pleasant sleep?" Lexa was distracted by the pancakes that were seemingly staring up at her and begging her to eat them. They were cooked to perfection -  _ obviously not prepared by Clarke then _ \- and were the perfect brown and golden colour pancakes were meant to be. The smell of them was absolutely mouthwatering and Lexa wanted to do nothing more than to tear into one. 

 

"What?" Lexa asks mentally scolding herself for such a dumb thing to say. "I mean, yes, of course." Lexa salvages and Clarke smirks. 

 

"You can start eating if you're hungry you know." Clarke says. Lexa looks at her, green meeting blue, and it takes only a second for Lexa to know that Clarke is telling the truth. She grabs a couple of pancakes and puts them on her own plate before pouring some syrup over the top and digging in. If you asked Lexa, she'd say she was perfectly polite and not at all rushed when taking the food but if you asked Clarke the girl would probably tell you that Lexa was like a raccoon: grabbing the food and eating it immediately. Lexa lets out a moan when she tastes her first bite and Clarke chuckles causing the brunette to blush slightly. "Taste good?" Clarke asks sarcastically taking her own pancakes. Lexa nods her head enthusiastically. 

 

"Best pancakes I've ever had." Lexa admits. "Excluding my own that is." She adds as an afterthought and Clarke snorts. 

 

"Full of yourself much?" Clarke teases and Lexa smiles slightly at the comment. 

 

"I told you I had a huge ego." Lexa points out. Clarke hums in response and the pair fall into a comfortable silence as they eat. 

 

"So what do you remember about last night?" Clarke asks curiously and Lexa looks up at her. 

 

"Um, everything but getting home." Lexa puts it simply not bothering to explain how she remembered different events but no conversation - it was easier just to say she didn't remember coming home at all. 

 

"God you are such a lightweight." Clarke says jokingly and Lexa frowns. 

 

"I am not a lightweight Clarke. Wine simply does not agree with me." Lexa defends herself. "I'm used to beer and whiskey so I didn't really know my limit when it came to wine." 

 

"Well you were practically all over me." Clarke teases and Lexa looks at her, confusion written on her features, she knew that Clarke was lying about that - she was probably just trying to coax some kind of reaction out of the brunette. "Oh come on, don't tell me you forgot asking me for a goodnight kiss?" Clarke asks lightheartedly and Lexa frowns shrugging her shoulders. "Okay, the all over me part may be an exaggeration but the kiss goodnight is not." Clarke admits. "Come on Lexa, you were all drunk-" 

 

"I was not drunk." Lexa interrupts and Clarke laughs. 

 

"Sorry,  _ tipsy,  _ and you asked me ‘what no goodnight kiss’ and, I mean, I could have kissed you but you were laughing and being all loopy." Lexa's cheeks begin burning with the new information of what she had said to the blonde. "It was actually so adorable." Clarke adds and Lexa scoffs. 

 

"I am not adorable." Lexa protests and Clarke smirks. 

 

"Oh honey, you are off the charts adorable, like a little puppy adorable." Clarke goes to pinch her cheek but Lexa swats her hand away in annoyance. "Now you're being a cute grumpy adorable puppy." Clarke chimes and Lexa rolls her eyes. "Lexa." Clarke says but the green eyed girl ignores her fiancée. "Lexa, come on, talk to me." Clarke begs. "The silent treatment is really childish." She comments. "Are you serious right now? Are you actually mad at me?" Clarke stares at her and Lexa sighs facing the blonde. Clarke takes her hand across the table and Lexa's eyes snap to their intertwined fingers. "I'm sorry Lexa, okay, I won't call you a grumpy adorable puppy anymore… even though you are one." Clarke says with a playful smile. 

 

"A simple ‘I'm sorry’ would've sufficed." Lexa states and Clarke grins so wide at the fact that she had managed to get Lexa to respond. 

 

**//**

 

By now the two of them had managed to keep light conversation and eat their breakfast comfortably in each other's presence. "Tell me about Arkadia." Clarke says after a moment of silence. Lexa looks at her then to see the blonde staring intently at her, her blue eyes burning with passion and interest, she genuinely wanted to know about the town where Lexa lived and had grown up in. Lexa sighs and looks out at the lush greenery of the forest surrounding the house. 

 

"It's nothing special really." Lexa admits with a shrug. "It's your average city, tall buildings, polluted air, rude people," Clarke chuckles. "but I still love it." Lexa admits. "I mean, don't get me wrong, Polis is nice and all but there's no other feeling like being in a city, all life is buzzing around you, and Arkadia is pretty fucking beautiful if you know where to look." 

 

"Like where?" Clarke asks curiously. Clarke's blue eyes were lit with interest - curiosity - and Lexa wondered if the blonde had ever left Polis before. 

 

"Alright," Lexa says taking a moment to think. "there's this one place not many people know about, in fact, I'm not sure anyone other than me goes there. It's this little bench on the top of the hill in the park, the path is a little worn out and hard to notice, it's nothing special but you can practically see the whole of the park from up there and, at sunset, watching the city being thrown into that golden light, is probably one of the most beautiful views..." Lexa trails off for a moment her eyes connecting with Clarke's and distracting her. Clarke was listening intently, paying attention to everything that Lexa was saying, with a small smile and Lexa was beginning to reevaluate her sentence. "that I've ever seen." Lexa finishes eventually her eyes drifting to Clarke's lips before she catches herself and snaps then back up to the blonde's face. If Clarke noticed she doesn't say anything, she simply smiles and leans on the palm of her hand closer to Lexa. 

 

"You'll have to show me sometime." Clarke suggests. "When we go to Arkadia maybe?" Lexa looks at her in confusion at that statement and Clarke lets out a soft laugh. "You didn't think we'd stay in Polis for the whole duration, right?" Clarke asks raising a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. Lexa had assumed that but she didn't want to look dumb so she settles for a shrug. "Well I want to meet your friends and I assume you'll be wanting bridesmaids." Clarke says. "Or a best man." She adds recalling the fact that Lexa had a long time friend named Lincoln. 

 

"I actually haven't really thought about that." Lexa admits. "Who exactly are you picking?" Lexa asks curiously. Maybe she was being a little nosey but she just couldn't help but wonder who Clarke wanted despite her probably not knowing them. 

 

"Two people I think." Clarke says. "Raven, who you've met," that seemed logical to Lexa since Clarke had known her for what seemed to be a long time. "and Octavia Blake, my other best friend." Lexa nods her head. She didn’t know who Octavia was but if she was important to Clarke then Lexa assumed she was nice - like Raven. "You?" Clarke asks curiously and Lexa leans back in her seat thinking for a moment. 

 

"Lincoln." Lexa states. There was just no way she couldn't have Lincoln, he was practically like a brother to her. "Then Anya, my best friend." Lexa decides and Clarke smiles. 

 

"Great, I'm glad that's sorted." Clarke says. "I'm sure you'll love O, maybe not her brother Bellamy, he might be a little too alpha male for you." Clarke says lightheartedly and Lexa frowns. 

 

"Alpha male?" Lexa questions. 

 

"You know, typical man trying to show he's top dog..." Clarke pauses, looking Lexa up and down - slightly unnerving Lexa if she was honest. "You know, I think you could give him a run for his money." Clarke comments. 

 

"Are you saying I'm a big headed heterosexual male Clarke?" Lexa questions playfully and Clarke laughs. 

 

"Something like that." Clarke replies with a smirk. Lexa rolls her eyes - something that the blonde was fairly certain was a Lexa move - she always rolled her eyes but something told Clarke it was more in amusement then in annoyance. Lexa was somewhat reserved when it came to showing emotions, sure, she smiled and laughed every now and again, what really thrilled Clarke was the fact that she only really did it around her, but Lexa was mostly a closed book. Clarke wasn't certain what she was feeling from time to time but her green eyes told Clarke all that she needed to know. Eyes were a window to the soul, apparently, and Lexa's eyes were beautiful and told Clarke precisely how the brunette was feeling when her face didn't. 

 

"I just realised, you haven't seen the grounds yet have you?" Clarke asks - she didn't want to leave Lexa so she figured that spending time exploring the grounds wasn't a terrible idea. Lexa shakes her head in answer, finishing the last of her coffee and setting her cup down. "Then put on your walking shoes, because we're going for a walk." Clarke says standing up. 

 

"That was implied by the walking shoes part." Lexa replies dryly and Clarke laughs in amusement. 

 

"Come on Lex, we've got the whole day to burn and, as much as I would like too, I am not spending all day in your bedroom." Clarke wiggles her eyebrows suggestively and Lexa's cheeks redden with the insinuation - that never got old: making Lexa become flustered was Clarke's favourite activity. Lexa stands up, she was only ever so slightly taller than the blonde and yet she appeared to tower over her. 

 

"Lead the way." Lexa replies and Clarke smiles taking Lexa's hand and pulling her out of the bedroom. Lexa smiles that lopsided smile, that she reserved only for Clarke, that warmed the blonde's chest and made her pulse speed up. 

 

The pair didn't even notice their parents who were watching them as they noisily made their way to the front door with their hands intertwined together. Jake turns to Lexa's mom with a big goofy grin. "How long until they realise they're falling for each other?" Jake asks lightly and Miss Woods chuckles. 

 

"Alexandria is very stubborn, I wouldn't count on it being anytime soon." She replies. 

 

"Well, Clarke isn't any better." Abby chimes in. The two were slowly repairing each other's wounds and, although they were both still very much broken, together, like the parents had hoped, they were slowly beginning to live again.

 

**//**

 

  
Polis had always been beautiful looking out on it but Polis was  _ beautiful  _ looking from within. Lexa was strolling through the dense forestry on a weather beaten path that wound through the tall pine trees. The whole area smelt like that one tree and, oddly enough, the car fresheners that you buy - the little green pine tree ones - don't smell like the real authentic forest. There's something satisfying about looking up from the base of the trees and seeing them reach for the clear blue sky. 

 

Lexa hadn't seen much wildlife but she knew it was there - undisturbed and hiding from the top of the food chain: man. Clarke was ahead and Lexa had to keep a careful eye on the blonde in case she decided to do a runner on her. Should Clarke decide to take off, for whatever reason, Lexa was certain she would be lost for days, wondering around the wooded area, all alone, without a clue where she was, no matter how close to the house she may. Clarke probably knew the woods like the back of her hand - having grown up here she'd had the opportunity to explore to her heart's content. 

 

It was a warm spring day and Lexa relished in the breeze that swept across every now and again. Clarke slows her pace, falling into step beside Lexa and gives her a wide grin instantly making Lexa suspicious. "There's something I want to show you." Clarke says grabbing Lexa's hand and pulling her off into a much less visible path. Lexa chose to ignore the quickening of her pulse, putting it down as simply she was walking at a faster rate than before, she also chose to ignore the fact that Clarke's hand fit so well into her own. They were slightly rough, probably from years of painting, whereas Lexa's were smooth and soft. Clarke balanced Lexa  out. Where Lexa was reserved and quiet Clarke was bold and loud, where Lexa was small smiles and small laughs Clarke was huge grins and amazingly beautiful laughs. That being said, they both had the emotional baggage to match. 

 

Clarke leads them to the edge of a cliff overlooking more breathtaking forestry below. The blonde happily makes her way to the edge of the cliff and sits down on it - her feet dangling over the edge - causing Lexa to have a mini heart attack. "Clarke, you could fall." Lexa says cautiously eyeing the edge. She did not think sitting on a cliff's edge classified as safe... or sane for that matter. 

 

"Oh come on Lex, don't tell me you're afraid of heights?" Clarke teases and Lexa grumbles before reluctantly sitting beside the blonde with her own feet dangling over the edge. There's a certain freedom that comes from sitting on the edge of a cliff, feet dangling over hundreds of metres of empty space and tall trees, that Lexa had never experienced before. 

 

The pair sit in silence, bathing in the midday sun and enjoying just being with  _ each other _ . "His name was Finn." Clarke states out of nowhere. Lexa cracks an eye open to see the blonde looking at her apprehensively and the brunette immediately sits up straighter and turns her full attention to Clarke. "The guy who made me become ‘damaged goods’ his name was Finn." Clarke clarifies looking out over the forest in front of them. Lexa keeps her eyes focused on the blonde, this was the most down Lexa had ever witnessed Clarke and she wanted to do nothing more than to see that smile come back to her face. "Finn was a good guy, I know he did some shit things, but everyone does, he didn't deserve what happened to him." Clarke carries on and Lexa wasn't sure what to do. She didn't want to force Clarke to talk about Finn but the blonde had brought him up of her own free will without Lexa asking suggesting that she wanted to talk about it. So Lexa remained quiet, trying to give off a supportive vibe. 

 

"We got into a fight that night and he stormed off. If I'd only just apologised and stopped him then he'd still be here." Clarke says balling her hands into fists. "He went out to a bar, had a lot to drink, he called me and told me he was sorry and that he was on his way home but I never answered. I was  _ so  _ mad." Lexa takes Clarke's hands and the blonde stares at their intertwined fingers relaxing slightly from the comfort it gave her. "He got into a fight, stupid Finn, he never fights and for some reason he did that night. The person that he got into a fight with pulled a knife on him and Finn didn't stand a chance." Clarke says tears falling freely from her blue eyes. 

 

"I got a call telling me he was in hospital and in pretty bad shape. He had no family left, I was all he had and I wasn't even there when he died." Clarke says and Lexa gently sweeps the tears away from her cheeks. "I didn't make it in time, he was dead when I got there." Clarke explains. "I loved him, and I lost him because of a stupid fight." Lexa waits a beat to allow Clarke some time to calm down before deciding to say something. 

 

"It wasn't your fault Clarke." Lexa says gently her soft voice slightly surprising Clarke - she'd never heard her sound so soft and gentle. "You could’ve never have known that would've happened." Lexa reassures and Clarke smiles sadly at the thought. 

 

"I should've been there." She replies. 

 

"He would've understood." Lexa says dismissively. "You loved him, and I know that he loved you too," It was impossible not to love the blonde. "you're a good person Clarke, you can't blame yourself." 

 

"But it is my fault." Clarke protests looking up at Lexa through her blurry vision. Lexa runs her thumb gently over Clarke's knuckle. 

 

"Maybe," Lexa relents though she didn't really believe it - it was more to appease Clarke. "but Finn wouldn't want you to be unhappy, would he? He wouldn't want you to blame yourself." Lexa says and Clarke lets out a slightly irritated sigh because, even though Lexa didn't know Finn, she was right. Finn would have never wanted Clarke to fall into the self pitying hole she had been in ever since his death almost six years ago. 

 

"No." Clarke replies. She was suddenly aware of how close she was to Lexa with their hands still intertwined. "He'd want me to live." Which Clarke hadn't really been doing. She'd been more like a machine, going through the daily motions, and eventually it'd just become habit and, now, she wanted to do more than that. She wanted to  _ live _ . 

 

She glances down at Lexa's plump lips for a moment before quickly gazing back up into pools of intense green. Lexa's eyes were a stunning green, enough to render Clarke breathless. They were so very close to each other, their breaths mingling in the fresh air. "I know how you feel." Lexa whispers looking away and breaking the trance that Clarke had been in. Clarke takes a moment to think about what Lexa was saying before remembering that the young lawyer had suffered a loss herself. 

 

"Her name was Costia." Lexa says, turning back to Clarke, her green eyes were glassy but her face was giving away no sign of how she was feeling -  _ classic Lexa. _ "Cars make me nervous because when I was younger, my father died in one when I was seven years old. Then Costia died in a car accident, hit by a drunk driver." Lexa reveals. "She was just minding her own business and someone else took her life, and they survived, how is that fair?" Where Clarke was devastated by Finn's death she'd never actually been angry at the person who had taken his life - she'd concentrated more on herself then the man who actually killed Finn. Lexa, however, had nothing but  _ anger.  _ She'd blamed the drunk driver more than herself - of course she still blamed herself but she despised that careless man who had gotten drunk and selfishly taken her lover’s life. Clarke blamed herself; Lexa blamed someone else. 

 

"It's not fair." Lexa decides. "I loved her Clarke, and he took her from me." Lexa says eyes burning with a whole new emotion. Clarke squeezes her hand gently reminding the brunette that she was there for her. "I miss her." 

 

"I miss Finn." Clarke replies and the pair look at each other sharing their grief and sadness - maybe there was something else blossoming between them but both hadn't felt such emotions in a long time that they barely even noticed them or put it down to some other kind of feeling. "He was supposed to be my husband." Clarke confesses and maybe they had never actually talked about such things but Finn and Clarke had always  _ known _ . 

 

"And Costia was supposed to be my wife." Lexa says. They had talked about such things, Lexa was a secret romantic sap, she'd fallen hard and fast for her past love and since she'd met her in college Lexa had only had three fantastic years with her before her accident - if that's what you could call it... Lexa preferred murder. 

 

"Now  _ we're _ supposed to get married." Clarke says the sadness slowly leaving her bones. A small smile makes its way to her lips and Lexa's sweet lopsided smile makes an appearance. 

 

"Don't die on me Griffin." Lexa says sounding almost delicate as she said it. 

 

"As long as you don't die on me Alexandria." Clarke retorts and the pair release one another's hands before Lexa holds her hand out. 

 

"Deal?" Lexa asks and Clarke takes it. 

 

"Deal." Despite only knowing Clarke for a few days - almost a week - Lexa knew she couldn't lose Clarke. Something in her told her that would really break her and she'd be beyond repairing. Love is weakness. Lexa cared, she just couldn't help it, it was in her nature to care and she cared about the blonde in front of her. 

 

"Come on, let’s get back." Clarke says moving to stand. Clarke slips slightly, still shaky from her confession of Finn, and Lexa locks her arms around Clarke keeping her from potentially tumbling into the forest below. Clarke smiles sheepishly at her and Lexa frowns at her. 

 

"Did you forget the deal we literally made two seconds ago?" Lexa asks in a scolding tone and Clarke chuckles. 

 

"You saved me didn't you?" Clarke asks. "My hero." She says reaching up slightly to peck Lexa on the cheek. Lexa's cheeks burn from the action, and the softness of Clarke's lips, before Clarke is standing up and walking away with a smirk on her face. Lexa stands up, not wanting to get lost in the dense forest, and hurries to catch up with Clarke. Both girls felt sufficiently lighter after confessing their past to one another and, somehow, their hands found their way back to each other as they walked back towards the house.

 

**//**

  
Clarke and Lexa get back to the house at mid afternoon talking happily with their new found comfort they had found with each other - their deal not to die on each other making both feel more secure around one another. Clarke opens the front door and takes a couple of steps inside when she's tackled into a hug and being knocked to the ground with a thump. 

 

Lexa stops in her tracks and stares at the body that had practically flung itself at Clarke and then she notices another person standing in the room: a young man with a broad goofy smile, shaggy dark hair and a chiselled jaw. Lexa had to admit he was fairly attractive despite her being totally gay. 

 

Clarke was laughing now as the girl on top of her laughed. Lexa glances down to see a dark haired girl - like the boy - with a bright smile and light blue eyes - not nearly as deep as Clarke's Lexa notes - sitting up. "It's been forever!" The girl complains. 

 

"You can't just jump on people O." The boy scolds. 

 

"Shut up Bell, it's Clarke, I can do whatever I want to her." Octavia says glancing behind her and then back at Clarke. "Right Clarke?" She asks with a wink and Clarke chuckles. The blonde looks up at Lexa who looked thoroughly confused which Clarke found extremely adorable. Octavia follows her line of sight and her eyes widen when she sees the woman. She swiftly gets off of Clarke and allows Lexa to help her up causing the younger Blake to smirk. Clarke shoots her a glare when she wiggles her eyebrows and Bellamy rolls his eyes. 

 

"This is Octavia and Bellamy, my two other idiot best friends." Clarke introduces them. 

 

"I'm smarter than she is." Bellamy scoffs and Octavia shoots her brother another look. 

 

"I could kick your ass in a second so don't come at me with that shit." Octavia retorts and Lexa has to hide her obvious amusement at the girl's fiery personality - Clarke was right, Lexa did like Octavia. Bellamy she was still a little unsure of - so far she hadn't seen this alpha male side that Clarke had mentioned. 

 

"Please." Bellamy says with an eye roll and his sister turns on him. 

 

"Do you want me to prove it?" Octavia asks and, for a second, Bellamy genuinely looked afraid until Clarke steps in. 

 

"Alright, there will be no Blake off in my house." Clarke says tugging on Octavia's arm for her to face her. The younger Blake grins happily turning to face her best friend. 

 

"So I heard that you were engaged." Octavia says glancing cautiously at Lexa who looked mostly unimpressed but Lexa tended to give off those vibes when she first met people. "The fact that you didn't tell me, and I had to find out from Raven, we will discuss later." 

 

"I was going to tell you." Clarke assures and Octavia smiles because she knew that were true. "Raven just has a big mouth and beat me to it." The mechanic, admittedly, was probably her  _ best  _ best friend but Octavia was definitely one of Clarke’s closest friends - they were the holy trinity as Raven liked to refer to them as. 

 

"Anyway, you're engaged and you still haven't had an engagement party?" Octavia asks excitedly. Lexa raises an eyebrow, Bellamy groans and Clarke's eyes widen. 

 

"Oh no, we are not throwing an engagement party." Clarke refuses. The last time Octavia threw a party Clarke ended up puking for three days straight,  _ okay _ , maybe that was an exaggeration but she'd been in a  _ bad  _ way. 

 

"Oh come on Clarke, I want to get to know your fiancée better, who according to Raven is hot, has the prettiest green eyes, is a secret nerd and looks like a hot fu-" 

 

" _ O _ !" Bellamy interrupts and Octavia's eyes widen at what she was about to say. She glances at Lexa and gives her an apologetic smile but the brunette just shrugs appearing unaffected by the comment - though she was trying her best to hold back the blush that was threatening to break out onto her cheeks. 

 

"Right, anyway, you have to come!" Octavia pleads. "If you don't then it's just a party and Bell will win the bet we made." 

 

"What bet?" Clarke narrows her eyes at the brunette and she smiles sheepishly in response. 

 

"He bet you wouldn't come and I bet that you would." Octavia admits. "Please Clarke, bring your stunning fiancée and we'll dance all our troubles away." Octavia continues and Clarke sighs. She looks at Lexa who, unknowingly, communicates her answer through her eyes. Octavia may not see the curiously lighting Lexa's eyes that little bit brighter or the genuine interest in meeting Clarke's friends but  _ Clarke  _ did - she didn't even think about how strange it was that she could read Lexa so well in the short amount time she had known her. 

 

"Fine." Clarke sighs. "I'll come with my stunning fiancée as you put it." Clarke smirks and Lexa does flush hearing the words come from Clarke. 

 

" _ Yes _ !" Octavia says happily leaning in and kissing Clarke on the cheek. "Alright! It's tomorrow night, eight sharp, until whenever the party dies." Octavia informs. No doubt the brunette would invite only a small amount of people but it would end up with a huge amount. The Blake's were legends for their parties and word spread quickly but Octavia and Bellamy were completely fine with the huge crowds - in Octavia's words: the more the merrier. It was like the real life version of the Great Gatsby. 

 

"Octavia is extremely excited." Bellamy says dryly.  _ Okay _ , maybe Bellamy wasn't the partying type per say but he always got into it when it came down to it. 

 

"My best friend is getting married, this is amazing, I thought I'd never see the day." Octavia teases lightly and Lexa turns her head to the side - closely resembling a puppy and Clarke found it  _ so  _ adorable. "You were just so..." Octavia trails off and Clarke got what she was hinting at. "but now you're so..." She trails off again letting the smile on her face fill in that blank. "We better get a move on Bell, we've got some shopping to do." Octavia says hugging her friend. "It was a pleasure meeting you Lexa." Octavia adds pulling her in for a hug surprising Lexa but the young girl did have a certain warmth to her causing Lexa to relax slightly but not a lot. Octavia releases her and Clarke smiles at Lexa's obvious confusion and slight discomfort. 

 

"It was nice meeting you too Octavia, I will see you at the party." Lexa hadn't had much say in that but she'd certainly wanted to go - mainly for meeting Clarke's friends than for the liquor or food that would probably be on offer. 

 

Bellamy steps forward and sticks his hand out to Lexa who take it formally. He eyes her up, his brows knitting together,  _ sizing  _ Lexa up. There it was, the alpha male thing that Clarke had mentioned, Lexa had slowly seen it coming out with his protests about how his sister couldn't beat him up - though Lexa had her doubts - and the way he was checking Lexa out, like she might be a threat, he was making sure he was on top. Lexa didn't doubt he probably was, what with his good looks and he was obviously strong, but Lexa wasn't one to just roll over. If Bellamy gave her trouble then she'd give him twice the trouble back. 

 

Something about Bellamy told Lexa that he wouldn't, he may be on alert for threats but he wasn't one to make problems out of nothing, he was protective and that was something Lexa could admire. "God, this isn't a business meeting." Octavia says sarcastically with an eye roll. Bellamy lets go of Lexa's hand, giving her a small charming smile, and Lexa nods her head slightly in response. "God, you two are so weird." Octavia says pulling her brother by his collar to speed him up. "I'll see you both tomorrow night and don't be late Griffin!" Octavia warns them. The pair are stumbling out the door, Bellamy being practically dragged by his younger sister, Clarke laughs and shakes her head at the pair as the door closes and Lexa looks at her curiously. 

 

"Octavia and Bellamy, my friends." Clarke explains. "They lost their mom when they were young and inherited all of her money, their father died shortly after Octavia was born so, it's been the two of them for as long as I can remember." Clarke says with a shrug. "Our moms used to make us go on playdates so we’ve known each other since we were in diapers. Octavia is bubbly and funny, but don't let that fool you, the girl is down right vicious when she want to be. Bellamy can be a dick but he's a pretty good guy most of the time." 

 

"So what do they do?" Lexa asks following Clarke to wherever the blonde was heading. "Is Octavia a model or something?" Lexa asks because she'd assumed that the second she saw her: undeniably beautiful, jawline that could kill, but not really Lexa's type. Clarke snorts at the suggestion and Lexa frowns. 

 

"Octavia would kick your ass for thinking that." Clarke says with a fond smile. "No, she works in private security, she's trained in martial arts and all sorts." Clarke explains and Lexa had to admit that that surprised her. Octavia just looked so small, so harmless, and that was exactly why it probably worked for her - people underestimated her which was a dangerous thing to do. "Bell followed in their parents footsteps and took over the family business, don't ask me what though because I have no clue, I switch off whenever someone talks about that stuff, it's why I have no clue what my dad does... or even my mom for that matter." Clarke says with a chuckle and Lexa smiles. 

 

"So is this party a dressing up kind of thing or a casual thing?" Lexa asks. "What am I supposed to wear?" Clarke stops and turns around looking at Lexa for a moment. 

 

"Wear what you want Lexa." Clarke says playing with the collar on Lexa's flannel shirt. "You look good in practically everything." She says lowly with a playful wink and then she turns on her heel and continues walking. Lexa stares after her for a moment, flustered and a little speechless from Clarke's comment, then she frowns and follows after the blonde. 

 

"Wait, you never answered my question." Lexa calls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Party time next chapter and Lexa gets to meet all of Clarke's friends. I literally love writing this because it's so fluffy and fluff is just so much fun to write. Let me know your thoughts!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No, Lexa, you're so warm, like Jacob from Twilight warm, are you a werewolf?" Clarke asks and Lexa can't hold back the amused laugh that spills from her lips or the smile that spreads across her face. 
> 
> "No Clarke, I'm not a werewolf." Lexa answers backing out of the driveway. 
> 
> "Okay, I believe you, but only because it's you." Clarke says shuffling in her seat.
> 
> Or
> 
> Clarke and Lexa hug for the first time, and maybe something else for the first time, and they attend their engagement party at the Blake Estate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was pretty late when I was going through the last of this so I'm sorry if there's mistakes. I hope you enjoy this chapter! If you feel like it you can check out this: http://sparia-slays.tumblr.com/post/144698409310/i-will-always-be-with-you-and-also-i-love-you from my tumblr but if you haven't watched the finale then I wouldn't recommend reading it :P
> 
> Ps. Did you watch the finale because I cried. Lexa was such a babe, bless her soul.

Lexa was staring at her various items of clothing. Despite her persistence of asking Clarke genuinely what she should wear, the blonde had still insisted that Lexa choose her own outfit and that whatever she chose, whether that be sweats and a t-shirt or a suit, Lexa would look great either way. She knew that Clarke was giving her a compliment but Lexa still found it infuriating. 

 

She sighs and finally gives up on her clothing and moves on to the bathroom. Her appearance she could deal with, that was simple enough, Lexa knew what she liked and, it's not like she could change her face to be less formal or more informal, it was just her face and hair - not that big of a deal. 

 

Clarke would no doubt be looking stunning and giving Lexa an aneurysm. There was a certain atmosphere between them, thick and full of some kind of tension, Lexa had a suspicion that it was of the sexual kind but she was never one to just assume things. She was a lawyer for that reason: Lexa liked to sit down and analyse every piece of evidence, every piece of information, until the very last detail, it's what made her a damn good lawyer though made her a little socially constipated when people chose feelings over hard fact. 

 

Head over heart. That's the way it was supposed to be. Making stupid deductions based on feelings would mean that half the criminals that were taken to court could get away with what they did if the jury or judge sympathised with them. They weren't the victim,  _ fact _ , they deserved to be put in jail for the bad thing they did,  _ fact _ , guilty,  _ fact _ , unless proven otherwise of course, but Lexa was a strong believer in justice and equality. Emotions should never trump logic, that, in itself, was illogical. That was part of why she came off as cold, Lexa made hard decisions based on fact not feelings making her seem a little heartless, yet when it came to Clarke Lexa wanted to just forget about her motto. Her heart screamed for her to listen while her head seemed to argue that whatever was happening -  _ and something was happening _ \- was not a good idea. 

 

Sure they'd made a deal not to die on each other, a deal that Lexa intended to uphold, she didn't have any plans to die any time soon, but people die -  _ fact _ . A hard truth that Lexa had learned first hand and her mind just wouldn't let her forget it. To love is weakness, it leaves you vulnerable, if anything were to happen to Clarke Lexa would be lost - even after the short amount of time they’d known one another - Lexa just knew she'd be lost, broken, unable to ever feel again. Her chest felt right with the mere thought of it all. 

 

It was like Lexa had been searching for something her entire life and, although Costia had filled that hole once there was always a part of her that just didn't feel right, like maybe that wasn't where she belonged, then she met Clarke and it felt like nothing was missing. The way Clarke smiled brightened Lexa's day, the blue of her eyes were memorising, and Lexa could stare into them for years to come, the way she bit her lip when something was worrying her, her golden blonde hair, that smelt strangely like coconuts and home, her skin, her hand in Lexa's, her kind nature, her  _ everything,  _ Lexa just could not understand how someone could be so perfect - or feel so perfect to her. 

 

Lexa shakes the thoughts from her mind, this was the kind of thing that happened when she didn't take the facts of the situation. She was engaged to Clarke,  _ fact _ , she was engaged to her to please her mother,  _ fact _ , Clarke was marrying Lexa to get her parents off her back,  _ fact _ , Lexa was living with Clarke for the process and probably in the future,  _ fact _ , she may have tiny feelings for Clarke but she wasn't an animal and she could totally control herself around her -  _ fact _ . Easy, logical, and not complicated. Lexa smiles, satisfied with the clearing of her mind, and sets to work of showering, shaving and applying make up. 

 

Once she had finished up in the bathroom she exits into her room, clutching the towel at the top, and sifts through her clothes. Lexa came to the conclusion that she'd dress casual yet smart meaning a leather jacket, a nice shirt, skinny black jeans and some boots. Simple and comfortable and suitable for a party - plus Lexa didn't look half bad in leather. Her hair was pulled into her multiple intricate braids, she was clean shaven in all appropriate places and she had applied dark makeup around her eyes to make the green really pop. Okay, Lexa knew she was somewhat attractive but she wasn't  _ that  _ attractive and she certainly didn't have any assets to flaunt -  _ not really, not in  _ **_her_ ** _ opinion _ \- but, then again, maybe she wasn't the best judge for herself. 

 

Lexa looks up when she hears the door to her room open and she sees Alfred enter in his usual impeccable butler suit - God she loved this man. "Miss Woods, you look positively beautiful." Alfred says with a kind smile and Lexa laughs at the compliment. 

 

"Thank you Alfred but I'm sure you're only saying that because you have to." Lexa says dismissively, he was a butler after all, _ wasn't it his job to be humble and kind?  _

 

"Yes it is," He agrees his smile widening ever so slightly. "but butler or not you're still stunning Miss Woods." Lexa blushes from that compliment, she just wasn't used to people noticing her or complimenting her, that just never happened, and even when it had in high school it was soupy to ridicule her and tease her. "Miss Griffin is waiting for you downstairs when you are ready." Alfred says. "I can escort you down there." He adds and Lexa frowns. 

 

"She sent you to escort me?" Lexa asks and Alfred grins straightening his tie. 

 

"Yes Miss Woods, she said that you still have trouble finding your way around the house and Miss Griffin has some business to attend to with her parents at the moment so she is unavailable to come and get you." Alfred explains and Lexa's frown doesn't disappear. "Am I not up to your standards Miss Woods?" Alfred asks playfully. 

 

"What? No, I mean,  _ yes,  _ of course you are, I mean, no that's not what I meant." Lexa stumbles over her words causing Alfred's grin to widen. "I just I find it slightly offensive that Clarke thinks I can't find my way around by now." She couldn't but that was besides the point. Alfred shakes his head in amusement. 

 

"How do you get to the kitchen Miss Woods?" He asks raising an eyebrow. 

 

"Well, you go down the stairs, then you then you turn...  _ left _ ?" Lexa says unsurely and Alfred shakes his head. " _ Right _ . I said right." Lexa scowls playfully. "Then you just follow the hallway until you reach the kitchen." Lexa finishes with a small smile. 

 

"Nice try Miss Woods but which door is it?" He asks and Lexa mentally curses. 

 

"The door with kitchen on it." Lexa says causing the butler to laugh. "Alright, I failed geography, okay? I don't need to know my way around." That wasn't true, Lexa aced geography, but she needed some kind of excuse. "It's a big house." She says defensively and Alfred nods his head. 

 

"Come Miss Woods." He says offering his arm which Lexa takes with a thankful smile. "Miss Griffin will be disappointed that you're wearing boots." Alfred comments and Lexa frowns at the statement. "She said something about how she you're adorable in heels and remind her of a woodland creature called bambi." Alfred says a little too amused by the nickname Clarke had bestowed upon Lexa. 

 

"Yeah, well, we're going to a party, heels would be the death of me." Lexa says with certainty. Heels were fine for dinner, that required little standing, but for parties a flat, fashionable, shoe or boot was the best way to go. Alfred just chuckles and continues pulling Lexa along who follows happily. Alfred was like those cool uncles that everyone wants: gives sound advice when needed, kind, funny, sarcastic, old but not too old, understanding and who makes up excuses as to delay breakfast with your fiancée because you look like a total wreck. Lexa had no other family than her mom, her family had all passed away, though she considered her closest friends, like Lincoln and Anya, as her extended family. 

 

Lexa walks down the spiral staircase listening to Alfred talking when they're pleasant conversation is interrupted by raised voices. They weren't shouting or anything, in fact, their voices were quite low, but Lexa could hear the obvious anger in them. "Mom, I already told you, I don't want to work there." Clarke says. She was obviously angry, her body was tense, her jaw was clenched and Lexa had never seen her look so rigid - Clarke was always carefree and calm. 

 

"Clarke, they personally asked for you. they think you'd be perfect for the chief of neuro and they're excited for you to join." Abby urges. 

 

"I told you I didn't want it." Clarke replies sharply. "You never listen to me, why did you even send in an application without telling me?" 

 

"Clarke, a job would be great for you, along with your engagement you can go ba-" Abby tries, 

 

"Leave Lexa out of this." Clarke states and Lexa's heart stutters in her chest. Alfred was still holding Lexa's arm which she was thankful for because, had he not been there then, she might have collapsed. "She has nothing to do with this, our engagement the has nothing to do with this." Clarke clarifies. She then turns her gaze on Jake who had remained silent during the whole exchange. "Did you know about this?" Clarke asks, her voice layered with vulnerability, something told Lexa that Clarke was used to being disappointed by her mother but by her dad? Something told Lexa that was a rare occurrence. Jake's eyes turn impossibly soft and Lexa felt like an intruder on this very personal and private conversation but Alfred hadn't moved and so Lexa hadn't either. 

 

"Clarke-" Jake says reaching out and Clarke shakes her head. 

 

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." Clarke says stepping back from her parents. Abby spots Lexa first and her expression turns to one of surprise causing Clarke to turn around. 

 

To Lexa bewilderment, the blonde's annoyed and defensive persona falls as soon as their eyes connect: she relaxes noticeably and her deep frown is replaced by the hint of a smile. "Lexa." She whispers and Alfred finally releases the brunette allowing her to walk the final steps of the stairs on her own. Jake and Abby watch the girls closely as Lexa approaches the blonde cautiously. 

 

"Are you okay?" Lexa didn't mean to but her eyes flicker to the two Griffins standing behind Clarke and she lets out a small sigh. 

 

"I'm fine." Clarke replies and Lexa frowns. Clarke rolls her eyes, it seemed she was adopting her fiancée's habit already, and she steps forward to wrap herself into Lexa's embrace. It surprises Lexa at first, they'd never gone beyond holding hands which was intimate itself but she'd never been this close to Clarke before. Lexa melts into the hug nevertheless. Clarke was wonderful to embrace and Lexa found herself closing her eyes and burrowing her nose in the soft curls of blonde that fell on Clarke's shoulder. She breathes in the intoxicating smell that was Clarke and holds her a little tighter to reassure her. 

 

Clarke was no better: her arms wound around Lexa's waist. holding her firmly in her arms, the blonde had never felt so secure, she breathes in Lexa's scent that always seemed to follow her, which Clarke couldn't really explain but if she had to go with a word for it she'd say Lexa smelt like the earth - maybe because she was so grounded or because she made Clarke feel like she was grounded. Clarke found Lexa's embrace comforting and warm and she instantly felt better in her arms then she had out of them. 

 

They stayed like that for a while neither noticing the looks they were getting from the different adults scattered around the room. Abby's face was neutral, showing no hint of what she felt from the display of affection, Jake was smiling happily at the sight, glad that his daughter could seek comfort from her fiancée - and maybe he was a little proud that he had chosen Lexa personally - and then Alfred was smirking knowingly. Sure the adults were aware of what was blossoming between the young adults but Alfred knew exactly what was happening. He had a unique point of view: he saw both Lexa and Clarke's side, he wasn't biased like the parents. Lexa's mom was absent for the whole exchange but had she been there then she would've looked like Abby but her eyes would've been smiling. Lexa was like her mom in that way too: her smiles were always small and if you didn't look close enough you might just miss it. 

 

Neither wanted to separate but eventually they both came to the conscious decision that maybe they should actually get going or they might miss the party - Octavia had been very specific about the eight sharp. Clarke steps back first with her face lit up by a huge smile, replacing all the anger and upset she had been feeling only a few minutes prior, if Lexa made her feel this way, after such little time, Clarke was afraid what would happen when they'd spent a month together. "You look gorgeous." Clarke whispers so only Lexa could hear and the brunette does that lopsided smile that causes butterflies to erupt in Clarke's stomach every single damn time. 

 

"You always look beautiful."  _ Yep _ , Lexa was pretty certain they were flirting now - at least she was - and, honestly, she kind of regretted her words. She was worried that Clarke would find her weird, she wasn't after romance, she was after someone who could convince her parents she was better, in fact, Lexa might even consider that hug had something to do with that fact but she liked to think that Clarke had hugged her for something more - maybe because she had needed Lexa. 

 

"You flatter me Alexandria." Clarke replies batting her eyelashes. "We should go so I can show off my hot new fiancée to all of my dorky friends." Clarke says fondly and Lexa shakes her head in amusement. 

 

"I'm dorky Clarke." Lexa comments and Clarke laughs taking her hand and pulling her out. 

 

"Yeah but you're like a sexy dorky, my friends aren't sexy." Clarke jokes. 

 

"I hope not, otherwise I might have competition." Lexa plays along following Clarke to her car. 

 

"Jealous Lexi?" Clarke says in a teasing tone and Lexa didn't even care that she'd just called her ‘Lexi’ - it was Clarke, she could do anything she wanted as far as Lexa was concerned. 

 

"Please," Lexa scoffs. "me? Jealous? Ridiculous." Lexa says getting in the passenger seat as Clarke holds the door open for her. Clarke just hums but in a way that ticks Lexa off - a way that suggests that she doesn't believe her. "I'm not jealous." Lexa clarifies as Clarke slides into the car beside her. 

 

"Sure thing." Clarke says trying to hide her grin. 

 

"I'm not." Lexa complains giving Clarke a pout and the blonde just laughs.

 

**//**

 

Lexa and Clarke arrive five minutes late because of that hug but Lexa couldn't seem to regret that consequence. Holding Clarke had made her heart jump and her body vibrate with a certain energy she couldn't place. 

 

Clarke had given Lexa some insight on the Blake party extravaganza and she wasn't wrong. The place was alive with people - people who even Clarke didn't know. The Blake estate was slightly more impressive than the Griffin one and loud thumping of music and shouting could be heard from outside. Multiple people were passed out from being over intoxicated but, as Lexa understood it, Octavia and the rest of Clarke's friends weren't even apart of the main party. Apparently, Octavia only invited the other guests out of courtesy - which Lexa didn't really understand but she just put it down to rich people being strange. 

 

Clarke leads Lexa through the party, her hand firmly in Lexa's to make sure they didn't get separated in the thick crowd of grinding bodies. Lexa tried to not imagine what was going down in other rooms of the house - or the fact that she was pretty sure someone just touched her inappropriately - and she focuses her attention on Clarke. 

 

Octavia was standing at the end of an especially crowded hallway when the brunette and blonde finally find her. "I said no, now get your ass out of here Atom." Octavia says with a deep frown. 

 

"Come on babe-" He complains. 

 

" _ Babe _ ?" Octavia asks raising her eyebrows. "I am not your babe." Octavia says and Atom grabs hold of her forearm in a little bit of a demanding way. Clarke was about to step forward but Lexa was already there grabbing Atom by his jacket and pinning him against the wall. 

 

Octavia's eyes widen in surprise and Atom swallows nervously as Lexa's green eyes narrow at him with such intensity. Lexa doesn't do anything but if looks could kill then Atom would be dead ten times over. "Is there a problem here?" Lexa asks looking between Octavia and Atom. 

 

"N-no." Atom stutters and Octavia has to stifle a laugh at how pathetic he looked pinned against the wall by a lawyer - though she had to admit Lexa was a little scary. 

 

"Octavia?" Lexa asks ignoring Atom's response. Octavia looks at Clarke who was staring open mouthed at her fiancée. 

 

"It's okay Lexa, you can let him go." Octavia says. "He just wanted to get into the vip section." Octavia explains. Lexa gives Atom one last death glare, so he's thoroughly quaking in his boots, before she roughly lets go of him. Atom scrambles off into the surrounding crowd and Octavia laughs at the sight and gives Lexa a wide grin. "Thanks Lexa." She says gratefully. "He was being a dick." Clarke slides beside Lexa and nudges her shoulder against the brunette's. "That was hot as fuck though." Octavia comments and Clarke nods her head in agreement. 

 

"You never told me you could fight." Clarke says. It had been clear by the way that Lexa had been so confident with how she handled herself, not to mention how muscular and slim Lexa was - not that Clarke paid attention to her muscles or anything. 

 

"I had to learn." Lexa says smiling when she feels Clarke's hand slip into her own. "High school was a rough time for me." 

 

"Well if you ever feel like joining private security hit me up." Octavia says. "I could've handled that myself though." She adds and Lexa nods her head. 

 

"I'm sure you could have." Lexa replies and she did but Octavia was Clarke's friend and Lexa didn't want any distress to befall Clarke so she'd felt the need to intervene personally. 

 

"You're late." Octavia addresses Clarke now and the blonde shifts on her feet. 

 

"Parent trouble." Clarke explains and Octavia nods. 

 

"Right this way Clexa." Octavia says fondly pulling out a key and unlocking the door she had been stood by. 

 

"Clexa?" Clarke questions as they enter the room. Lexa notices immediately that the noise from the raging party next door quietens considerably and once the door is closed all noise of loud conversation and the racket of whatever music had been playing is completely drown out - though there was still music playing - it was sound proof, Lexa realises, this really was the vip section. 

 

Octavia locks the door again so that the party next door wouldn't interrupt the party they had going on in their section of the estate. "Yeah, you know, Clarke and Lexa, Clexa. Raven came up with it." Octavia answers but Lexa was too distracted by the decor to pay much attention. Lexa follows the two girls, absentmindedly led along by Clarke's hand, as she admires the many paintings and sculptures in the room. They enter the main room where she could see quite a lot of people gathered around, music blasting and alcohol in bundles. Lexa recognised Raven and Bellamy as well as the few other people she'd met while dining at the restaurant. 

 

Bellamy was the first over, flashing them his charming smile that Lexa had noticed when first meeting him, beside the older Blake was another young man, who looked the same age as Bellamy, with longish, blondish, hair. "Hey Lexa, it's great to see you again." Bellamy greets happily. "This is Murphy, or John but he refers Murphy, he's my boyfriend." Bellamy explains and Lexa rises an eyebrow. She hadn't thought that Bellamy was gay, she just didn't get that impression from him, but, like Lexa had said before, she didn't like to assume. 

 

"Bellamy and I are bi buddies." Clarke speaks up squeezing Lexa's hand. "Murphy tries to join in but it's strictly Griffin and Blake." Clarke says because Raven was also bi but she wasn't in on their little inside joke. Lexa nods and Bellamy smiles again at her. 

 

"Can I get you a drink?" He asks kindly and Lexa shakes her head. 

 

"You can get  _ me  _ a drink." Clarke says and Bellamy chuckles pulling Murphy away with him by his hand. Clarke turns to Lexa beside her and smiles softly at what she sees: Lexa was obviously nervous, which was cute, but she also looked tense. "You can relax Lex." Clarke whispers in her ear. Lexa does relax but only because she feels a shiver run down her spine from having Clarke so close to her ear. Lexa turns her head to look at Clarke and her eyes catch on the ocean of blue staring back at her under long eyelashes causing her breath to hitch. Clarke looked good. She looked better than good, she looked amazing. Lexa hadn't really been able to take her appearance in before, what with the arguing and hugging, but Clarke looked as beautiful as ever. Her blonde hair was down in curls, she was wearing casual yet classy clothes, with a bomber jacket that Lexa actually liked on the blonde -  _ a lot. _ Clarke looked like a normal girl. Had Lexa seen her at any other party she would have never guessed that she was loaded or that she lived in a huge estate in Polis which, frankly, was quickly growing on Lexa though she still missed her small apartment - she could find her way to the kitchen easily there. 

 

"Green eyes!" Lexa is startled slightly out of her gaze when she hears a familiar voice call her that insufferable name - apparently Raven still didn't want to call Lexa by her actual name. Clarke squeezes her hand, offers Lexa reassuring smile and then walks over to Bellamy who was supposed to be getting her a drink. 

 

Raven pulls Lexa in for a hug surprising the brunette but Raven did always strike her as a touchy feely kind of girl, plus she wasn't a half bad hugger, though Lexa couldn't help but compare it to the embrace she had shared with Clarke. Hugging Raven was purely platonic, it was quick and it was friendly, hugging Clarke had been laced with a kind of intimacy and tenderness that Lexa couldn't place and it had lasted for more minutes then Lexa could count. 

 

"Reyes." Lexa says pulling out from the hug. She's greeted by a wide smile and wide chocolate brown eyes. 

 

"Welcome to the band of misfits." Raven says gesturing to the room. "Alright, I'll give you a rundown of everyone here." Raven says which Lexa was actually thankful for because she had no idea. "You've met Bell, a dick from time to time but ultimately a pretty cool dude, that's John Murphy, he used to be a real jerk but he's kind of mellowed out, and those two are apparently dating but we'll see how long that lasts, they've always kind of been love hate." Raven says fondly. "You've met O, the baby of the group, she's a few years younger but we've always loved her so she gets to stay, that's Monty, total geek with computers so you'll love him, Monty's totally gay for Miller and Miller is totally gay for Monty. Then we have Jasper who's kind of the comic relief, he can never take anything seriously, and that's his girl Maya." Raven points out the people who she was talking about and Lexa listens carefully and follows her pointing accordingly. "Oh, there's Harper, she's a little quiet but totally loyal. And that's everyone, unless O has anyone else planned to come but I doubt it." Raven says turning back to Lexa. "You've met me, and obviously you know that I'm super awesome, hot and a damn genius when it comes to machines," Lexa laughs. "and then Clarke who you totally have the hots for which is good because you're engaged." 

 

"What?" Lexa asks.  _ Was she that obvious? _ "I don't- I... I don't know what you're talking about." Lexa states and Raven laughs at the feeble denying that Lexa had just given her. 

 

"Please, that look you were giving her, before I came over, you were practically saying  _ take me now _ with your eyes." Raven teases and Lexa frowns. 

 

"I was not." Lexa protests but Raven just grins taking a sip of whatever alcoholic beverage she was holding. 

 

"I could cut that sexual tension with a knife." Raven comments. "You two should really consider breaking some of that, I don't want to choke on it every time I see you two together." Raven carries on teasing. If Lexa had been drinking a drink at that moment she would have spat it out. If Raven was suggesting that they sleep together that was ridiculous. There was no sexual tension -  _ except there kind of was _ \- and Lexa knew it but even if there was Lexa was perfectly able resist temptation - especially when the blonde probably didn't even want it. 

 

Lexa didn't know how to respond so she settles for a playful glare, a light "Shut up." and a gentle push of Raven. 

 

"Party games!" Octavia yells drawing the attention of the whole room to her. Everyone comes a little closer - Raven pulling Lexa along to make her follow. "Alright, what should we play?" Octavia asks. 

 

"How about spin the bottle?" Raven suggests with a grin and Lexa raises her eyebrow. 

 

"What are we, twelve?" Octavia asks Raven who frowns at her younger friend. Despite Raven's obvious annoying qualities Lexa actually liked her sarcastic attitude and she reminded her somewhat of Anya - who Lexa was certain she had to introduce those two girls sometime in the future because they'd hate each other but she also knew they'd secretly love each other. She could see it now, Anya and Raven bickering back and forth in their sarcastic language that they both spoke fluently all the while they were both secretly enjoying one another's company. 

 

"Well, if Clarke doesn't mind me kissing her fiancée, I'm sure spin the bottle is fine." Raven's comment draws Lexa's attention back to the conversation and she shifts on her feet looking over at Clarke who was laughing and shaking her head. 

 

"You want to kiss my fiancée?" Clarke asks. 

 

"Well she is kind of hot." Raven comments and Lexa resists the urge to blush - n _ o way would she become flustered _ . 

 

"Yeah, she is." Clarke replies and,  _ scratch that _ , Lexa instantly blushes. "But, unfortunately, she's mine, so hands off Reyes." Clarke says and even though it was said playfully there was an underlying tone that Lexa couldn't place. 

 

"Alright fine, but since this is an engagement  party I'm pretty sure we should do something for the future married couple." Raven says pushing Lexa towards Clarke. Lexa rolls her eyes and moves so she is in front of Clarke - communicating her feelings through her green eyes like always. Clarke smiles at her softly and Lexa was certain that the girl in front of her was an angel sent to earth. "So, your wedding is in six months right?" Raven asks and the pair nod. "So you're going to have a Raven Reyes dance lesson." Raven says and Lexa looks at her. 

 

"Raven I don't-" Lexa begins to protest. 

 

"This is a brilliant idea, trust me." Raven says with a wink. "Since Clarke is a shit dancer, Lexa can lead and the rest of you guys can like find a partner or whatever." Raven says. Octavia rolls her eyes and heads over to the stereo to change the music to something a little slower. "Lexa," Raven grabs hold of Lexa's wrist and Lexa stares at her hand for a moment - she wasn't used to people touching her. "you put this hand here." She pulls the brunette forward and places her hand on the small of Clarke's back causing tingling sensations to travel up and down Clarke's spine. Raven then takes Clarke's hand and places it on Lexa's upper arm and then connects their other free hand with each other's. "Perfect." Raven says proudly and she nods at Octavia to play the music. "Now sway my pretties." Raven instructs with a snigger before disappearing. 

 

Lexa begins moving and Clarke follows her lead like Raven had suggested which Clarke didn't mind one bit. "Raven's a weirdo," Clarke comments. "but I love her." 

 

"Slow dancing with my fiancée isn't that weird." Lexa says with a small smile. Clarke chuckles and nods her head. 

 

"I suppose you're right." She relents. They find a nice rhythm with each other and with every second they grow closer and closer until eventually Clarke is wrapping her arms around Lexa's back and resting her head on her shoulder while Lexa leans her head down a little more and moves her arms to wrap Clarke in them. Now they were literally swaying from one foot to the other and Clarke could hear Lexa's strong steady heartbeat and, weirdly, she found the noise comforting. 

 

Raven was leaning against the wall, grinning at her work, and she raises her eyebrows at Octavia and gestures wildly at the pair obviously smug. "They're cute." Octavia admits. "I've never seen Clarke so... well,  _ Clarke _ ." She adds and Raven nods her head in agreement. 

 

"Princess lost a piece of herself when Finn died, Lexa's slowly bringing her back to her old self." Raven says glancing down at the ground. "I missed Clarke. I missed her being happy." 

 

"She looks happy." Octavia points out and Raven looks at the engaged couple who were practically snuggling and waltzing at the same time and the smile that was plastered on her best friend's face was indescribable. Clarke hadn't been right for quite some time but she was better now. "Are  _ you  _ okay Raven?" Octavia asks quietly and Raven looks at her curiously. "I know Finn meant a lot to you too, he was the only family you had." Octavia says gently and Raven sighs her heart feeling heavy. 

 

"Not the only family." Raven says glancing around the room. "Everyone here is my family, you, Bell and Clarke especially, I love all of you guys. I'm fine O, don't worry." Raven smiles and the shorter brunette gives her a small smile back. 

 

"We love you too ReyRey." Octavia says fondly and she wraps an arm around her friend's shoulder. 

 

"You better." Raven replies poking Octavia in the ribs. "Care to dance Blake?" Raven asks. 

 

"I thought you'd never ask." Octavia jokes but the pair make their way to dance anyway. 

 

Clarke opens her eyes against Lexa's chest and sighs. If she hadn't been standing she could've fallen asleep from the warmth of Lexa and her gentle swaying but she remembers that she's at a party. "Clarke." Lexa says softly and Clarke hums in question. "I don't think we need those Raven Reyes dance lessons." Lexa says with a smirk which Clarke only sees once she leans back from the brunette's chest. Clarke purses her lips, smiling amusement, before they stop their dancing. 

 

"I think you're right." Clarke agrees.  _ That felt perfect _ . "Our first dance will be amazing without her lessons." 

 

"Our first dance..." Lexa says in wonderment because it all seemed so surreal: the whole wedding,  _ everything _ . 

 

"Alright losers!" Octavia yells startling the pair from their moment. Lexa retracts her hands immediately, realising how close she was to Clarke, and the blonde shuffles. "Let's,  _ party _ !" She shouts throwing her hands in the air. The room let out a loud cheer and the music is switched back to the thumping tunes it had been playing before. 

 

"I need a drink." Clarke decides walking away from Lexa and to where all the liquor had been set up. Lexa decides that she should probably mingle with Clarke's friends a little more and heads towards Monty and Miller to introduce herself properly since she'd been all but silent at the restaurant.

 

**//**

  
  


Lexa locks herself in the bathroom to allow herself a moment. Clarke's friends were great, they all seemed like nice genuine people, Clarke just had so  _ many  _ friends. They were all different in their own way but Lexa could see that Clarke was the glue that held them all together. Was it likely that Octavia and Raven would have found each other and became friends without Clarke? Not really. The blonde had sought out all of her friends and people who wouldn't normally mix came together to make the most unusual band of misfits. Lexa only had about three friends, which just seemed sad when she thought about it, but she'd always felt like that was enough - at least for her. 

 

Seeing Clarke with her friends and in her element was something else entirely. The blonde was a natural born leader, like Lexa herself, and she fit seamlessly into the group because Clarke didn't care about her social status therefore no one else did. Lexa rests her hands on the sink and takes a deep breath staring at herself in the mirror. What was it about Clarke that made everything feel okay? She made Lexa feel safe, accepted and loved. Yet Lexa also felt a little out of place amongst Clarke's friends - it was all a little overwhelming. 

 

A light knock on the door startles Lexa from her thoughts. "Lex? You in there?" Lexa recognised the voice immediately and she turns around to face the door contemplating answering her or not. 

 

"Yeah I'm in here." Lexa's mouth moves of its own violation. "You can come in." The door cracks upon almost instantly after Lexa voices her permission and the first thing Lexa sees is Clarke's blue eyes. 

 

"Are you okay?" Clarke asks stepping fully into the room. She looked worried and Lexa knew that Clarke was a worrier, she cared about everyone, and Lexa wasn't used to that. In hindsight, having an existential crisis in the bathroom at a party probably wasn't the best idea. Lexa nods her head in answer and Clarke's blue eyes narrow in disbelief. 

 

Lexa takes a moment to examine Clarke again, the girl looked so good and Lexa was  _ so gay _ . She just wanted a taste, a touch, a fucking brush would be enough. Lexa wanted Clarke. Lexa was not drunk, Clarke, on the other hand, was swaying slightly on her feet. 

 

Clarke had noticed the darkening of Lexa's eyes, the jitteriness of her body, her eyes darting up and down Clarke, even her tongue coming out to wet her lips slightly. Clarke wanted Lexa. The air between them was electric and charged drawing them closer together. Lexa swallows the lump in her throat and walks towards Clarke with the intention of exiting this new environment. She didn't want to complicate things, she didn't want to do anything - except she kind of really did. 

 

Clarke had always been attractive but tonight Clarke was  _ attractive _ . Clarke had always been hot but tonight Clarke was  _ hot _ . As confusing as that may be, Lexa just couldn't bring herself to get out of this situation and she was inching closer and closer to Clarke. Lexa's gaze was fixed on Clarke's lips and Clarke's breaths had picked up in pace. No words were needed for what was inevitably going to happen. 

 

Lexa stops in front of Clarke inches between them but there was Lexa, who was only slightly taller, making Clarke feel like she towered over her. Lexa looked like a goddess, it was hard to believe that the lawyer existed, her curly brown hair had been tied into intricate braids and her dark makeup made her green eyes look like they were smouldering. 

 

Lexa pauses for a moment, the gentle thumping from the music sounding through the door was the only sound in the room aside from Lexa and Clarke's breathing that was mingling in the air. Then, slowly, Lexa leans ever so slightly forward coming face to face with Clarke. Blue and green bore into each other and, had Lexa been thinking about anything other than kissing Clarke Griffin, she might have thought about how the green of her eyes and the blue of Clarke's would make the most beautiful of oceans out there. And then Lexa's crashing her lips against Clarke's, closing her eyes and allowing herself to touch, brush and taste Clarke. 

 

Clarke lets out a small gasp when she feels Lexa's lips on her own but her eyes instinctively close and she hits the hardwood of the bathroom door with a satisfying thud. Clarke's hands find their way to Lexa's hair, tangling themselves in the rich silkiness of Lexa's locks, as the brunette pushes harder against Clarke needing to be closer. 

 

Clarke smiles into the kiss nipping at Lexa's bottom lip and enticing a small moan from the taller girl. Lexa pulls back for a moment, to catch her breath, her nose bumping over Clarke's as she changes the angle and resumes the kissing. Lexa had one hand snaked around Clarke's back, to help support her, while the other one rested tenderly on her cheek. The kiss was sweet and gentle, like they were trying to get a feel of each other, yet it was rough and full of want and Lexa was enthralled by the whole experience until her mind seemed to kick in. 

 

Her eyes snap open and she leans back from the kiss panting heavily as she does so. Clarke opens her eyes to see the panic reflected in the green of Lexa's beautiful eyes. "Lex?" Clarke questions, her voice coming out raspy and hoarse, and Lexa feels a shiver go through her. She steps back from Clarke and looks around the bathroom for some kind of escape but Clarke was leaning against the only exit. "Lexa, what's wrong? Talk to me." Clarke pleads and Lexa looks at her calming ever so slightly. 

 

"I-I kissed you." Lexa stammers and Clarke smiles lighting up her blue eyes with the action. 

 

"We're engaged remember?" Clarke asks with a chuckle. "You can kiss me all you want." Lexa shakes her head and plays with the hemming of her shirt. 

 

"No Clarke, you're drunk and I took advantage of you." Lexa felt a little sick about that and Clarke stares at her blankly.  _ Was she serious? _ Lexa had not taken advantage of her - she'd wanted it just as much as she had. 

 

"I'm not  _ that  _ drunk." Clarke protests and Lexa shakes her head again not believing it because anyone wanting Lexa just didn't happen. She was broken, even her own mother thought she was damaged goods, no one wanted to kiss her, no one wanted anything to do with her. 

 

"Can we just forget about it?" Lexa asks and Clarke tenses at the question. "I shouldn't have kissed you, I'm sorry." Lexa apologises and Clarke steps forward giving Lexa the window that she needed to escape. 

 

"You just want to forget about it?" Clarke asks raising her eyebrows. "Like it never happened?" She asks and Lexa nods her head side stepping around Clarke. 

 

"Like it never happened." Lexa confirms hand resting on the bathroom door handle. 

 

"You really want that?" Clarke asks turning around to catch Lexa standing by the door. Lexa can't form the words, because she's pretty sure she'd say no if she let herself answer, so, instead, she simply nods and then she's gone. 

 

Clarke stares at the empty space where Lexa had been standing then brings her fingers up to her lips, brushing over them softly, the ghost of Lexa's lips still present. There was no way Clarke was going to just forget about that kiss.

 

_ // _

  
  


Lexa was standing off to one side, a red solo cup full of coke in her hand, apparently she was the DD tonight since Clarke had been drinking non-stop - especially after that kiss in the bathroom though Lexa hoped that wasn't why Clarke was drinking. Now she was watching the blonde play a game of beer pong with Octavia and, she had to admit, the blonde was quite good at it. "She learnt everything she knows from me." Lexa hears a voice say - she doesn't even have to look to know that it's Raven. 

 

"She has a very good teacher." Lexa replies turning to face Raven. Raven smiles as Clarke makes another shot and lets out a hoot of victory when she manages to get the ball in one of the cups. 

 

"So what happened?" Raven asks catching Lexa off guard. 

 

" _ Huh _ ?" Lexa asks dumbly. Raven gives her a look and Lexa swallows nervously.  _ There was no way Raven knew, was there? _ Surely the brunette couldn't read Lexa that well after only knowing her a few days. 

 

"Clarke's being party girl Griffin, meaning she's either upset or confused about something." Raven explains. "You're her fiancée so I figured you'd know." She raises her eyebrows at Lexa who looks back at Clarke. 

 

"As far as I know, she's fine." Lexa shrugs. Raven narrows her eyes but the brunette wasn't looking at Raven to notice - which was annoying because Raven was pretty sure she could get Lexa to crack. "Clarke's special." Lexa says after a moment. "I haven't felt like me in a really long time but she makes me feel like  _ me _ ... if that makes any sense." Lexa looks back to Race with a small frown which Raven found adorable. 

 

"I get it. I've seen it with Clarke." Raven replies. "It's been a long time since she's been this happy and the only thing that's new is you." 

 

"You're saying I make her happy?" Lexa asks raising one eyebrow. 

 

"I'm saying you make Clarke better." Raven says rolling her eyes. "She's been really closed off after Finn, and lonely, and just  _ sad _ , but you've done something to her and she's happy again. So yes, you make her happy." Though Raven couldn't speak for Clarke personally -  _ not really _ \- but she'd certainly seen the change in her friend. "It's pretty late." Raven comments checking her watch. The party outside of their room was probably dying down by now, since it was three in the morning, plus Clarke looked pretty wasted. "I'll be leaving soon." 

 

"I suppose I should go get my fiancée." Lexa says with a fond smile that Raven just manages to catch. The brunette says her goodbyes to Raven and heads towards Clarke who was downing another drink. "Clarke." Lexa says to get her attention and the blonde turns to face her. 

 

" _ Lexa _ !" She says happily with a drunken smile spreading across her face. 

 

"I think it's time I get you home." Lexa says steadying Clarke in her arms. 

 

"Here Lexa." Octavia steps forward and hands her the key to the room that they were locked in. Lexa takes the key and then holds her hand out to Clarke who hands her her car keys. Lexa shoves them into her jeans pocket and Clarke follows after her fiancée who takes her in her arms and puts her in front of her to make sure the girl wouldn't leave her sight, fall or do anything else, without Lexa's knowledge. Clarke just giggles as Lexa wraps an arm around her waist and holds her close to her side and Lexa rolls her eyes at the blonde's obvious drunkenness. 

 

Lexa exits out of the soundproof section of the house, practically carrying a drunk Clarke in one of her arms, Raven was right when she said the party would be dying down: there was hardly anyone left, though there were various passed out, people who had probably over partied, but Lexa ignores them all and focuses on finding her way out of the maze that was Octavia's house. 

 

Clarke was stumbling along her hands resting on Lexa's arm that was wrapped around her waist and smiling at the thought of Lexa holding her - even if it was just to keep her standing it made Clarke feel warm and fuzzy though she supposed that could be down to the alcohol she had consumed. 

 

By some miracle Lexa does manage to find her way out of the estate and find Clarke's car that she had parked what seemed a million miles away. Lexa stops to open the passenger side door and then turns around to help Clarke in but when she does Clarke's looking at her with a look that Lexa doesn’t quite understand. Before Lexa can say anything, Clarke's hands are on her face, caressing her soft skin and tracing over it with a complex expression on her face. Lexa swallows nervously, unsure of what the blonde was doing, plus the fact that she was so close didn't help Lexa's case. 

 

Clarke's thumbs gently trail over skin and she stares at Lexa's lips before gazing up into the brunette's eyes. "How are you real?" Clarke asks and Lexa frowns. 

 

"Clarke." Lexa says slowly and nervously swallowing thickly. 

 

"I'm serious." Clarke says ignoring Lexa. "You're so so beautiful." Lexa closes her eyes allowing herself to feel and take Clarke in for a moment. "You kissed me." Clarke states and Lexa's eyes flicker open to find the blonde's eyes looking up at her. 

 

"I'm sorry."  Lexa whispers. Clarke's hands fall from Lexa's face and she frowns because that wasn't the response she wanted from Lexa. She wanted her to tell her ‘yes but I loved it and I can’t stop thinking about it’  _ she had _ but all she had was regret: Lexa regretted kissing her. 

 

Lexa takes that opportunity to steady her breathing and to help Clarke to the car door. "Why are you so kind?" Clarke asks as Lexa lowers her into the passenger seat lifting her feet so they were inside the door. Lexa just chuckles at Clarke's words but Clarke looks so serious at Lexa that it's a little adorable. "Really Lex, the world has been so shit to you and yet you're so kind." Clarke says and Lexa sighs. 

 

"I'm not kind." Lexa replies. 

 

"Yes you are and don't pretend you're not." Clarke says slurring slightly. Lexa closes the door and hurries to the driver's side. "You pretend you’re cold and mean but you're totally the opposite." Lexa hums starting the car up. "No, Lexa, you're so warm, like Jacob from Twilight warm, are you a werewolf?" Clarke asks and Lexa can't hold back the amused laugh that spills from her lips or the smile that spreads across her face. 

 

"No Clarke, I'm not a werewolf." Lexa answers backing out of the driveway. 

 

"Okay, I believe you, but only because it's you." Clarke says shuffling in her seat. "You're warm, and probably cuddly, I know you give good hugs, your hands, and skin in general, is so soft, do you fucking bathe in moisturiser?" Lexa was driving now so her attention was fixed on the road but Clarke was out of this world cute when she was drunk. 

 

"No I don't." Lexa replies with her smile widening and Clarke hums suspiciously. 

 

"You also have this smile thing that you do that gets me every single time. You're not doing it right now, right now you're actually smiling, like  _ really _ smiling, are you okay Lexa?" Clarke asks and Lexa shakes her head in amusement. 

 

"I'm fine." Lexa replies - truth be told she hadn't smiled this wide in a long time. 

 

"Did I mention that you're warm?" Clarke asks in a sing song voice and Lexa knew the drive would be long if all Clarke did was ask her questions like, was she a werewolf, or if she bathed in moisturiser, but Lexa happened to find it endearing. 

 

"You did." Lexa replies and Clarke starts rambling in her drunken state but all Lexa could think was that she could get used to this.

 

**//**

  
  


They reach the house just after three and Lexa sighs as she looks over to see the sleeping form of her fiancée. Clarke was out cold, sleeping with her head against the window. Lexa could wake her but Clarke looked so peaceful asleep she couldn't bring herself to wake her like that so, instead, she gets out of the car and opens the passenger door and lifts Clarke up in her arms. 

 

She closes the door and begins walking towards the house, the car locking automatically as she got the appropriate distance away. Lexa looks down at Clarke with a small smile, she knew for certain now that she was falling for Clarke which could possibly complicate things.  _ The plan was to marry her, the plan wasn't to fall for the girl, Lexa. _ This was what happened when Lexa listened to her heart and not her head but she just couldn't hear her head when she was with the blonde - it just wasn't there. 

 

She opens the front door, with a little difficulty, and Clarke stirs, blinking her eyes open to find that she was being carried by her fiancée. Lexa shuffles so Clarke's in a better position and the blonde wraps her arms around the brunette's neck. She doesn't say anything but rather nestles into Lexa's neck and closes her eyes once again breathing in Lexa's scent again.  _ How was it possible for someone to smell like the earth? _

 

Clarke realises that Lexa probably didn't know where she was going so she forces her head away from her neck and begins telling Lexa where to go. Once they reach Clarke's room Lexa places her carefully on the ground and Clarke leans against the wall. "Thank you." Clarke says tiredly and Lexa nods her head and makes to walk away but she's stopped by Clarke grabbing her hand. "Wait." She says and Lexa raises her eyebrows concern reflected in her green eyes. "Please stay." Clarke says which surprises Lexa and causes her heart to palpitate out of her chest. "I know we're not actually engaged for the traditional reasons but you're my friend Lexa and friends sleep in each other's beds occasionally and I just really don't want to be alone." 

 

"Are you trying to bed me Griffin?" Lexa jokes and Clarke lets out a small laugh of relief. Lexa hadn't become weird, or closed off, which could've easily happened instead,  she was smiling and Clarke was happy she had the liquid courage she needed to ask Lexa such a question. 

 

"No but I might fall." Clarke replies with a grin and Lexa rolls her eyes, like she always does, and follows Clarke into her room. 

 

The pair don't bother to change, it was gone three in the morning, one of them was still drunk and the other was exhausted not used to all the socialising she had been doing all night. They collapse on the bed side by side and Clarke rolls on her side to face Lexa and Lexa does the same to look at Clarke. "Who would've thought I'd be sleeping beside my fiancée?" Clarke asks teasingly. "My beautiful fiancée." Lexa laughs at Clarke's words. 

 

"Sleep Clarke." She coos gently and the blonde's eyes shut immediately Lexa's low and calm tone lulling her into a sleep. Lexa's eyes scan over Clarke's face, a smile appearing as she does so. 

 

"Lexa?" Clarke whispers breaking the silence that had fallen between them. Lexa hums in question waiting for Clarke to continue. "I really like you." Clarke says and Lexa's heart stops in her chest but before she can respond Clarke is sound asleep - knocked out from the alcohol she had drank. 

 

Lexa knew she probably meant that in a friendly way, Clarke was simply expressing that she'd taken a liking to her which Lexa had too, but a part of her secretly wanted Clarke to mean that as something more than that. She was never meant to fall for Clarke, that was a fact, and yet here she was, falling. Lexa just hoped there was something to catch her at the bottom and preferably it was something soft and not rocks or something else that would kill her or crush her.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a sucker for a good old Clexa hug and I threw in a little angst I suppose but not a lot. I guess Lexa doesn't have that much self control when it comes to resisting Clarke Griffin after all. Anyway, I'd love to hear your thoughts so drop a comment and thank you to everyone who has commented on past chapters and gave kudos, it means a lot to me, and just thank you for reading.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Not as good as some of the things I've tasted." Clarke comments. Lexa snorts - she actually snorts - and Clarke feels a pleasant feeling bubble in her stomach at the sound and her body reacts in ways that she'd forgotten it could. 
> 
> "I'm sure you never meant for that to be dirty Griffin but that's how I took it." Lexa says still laughing to herself and Clarke rolls her eyes a light blush colouring her cheeks at that revelation. 
> 
> "Shut up." Clarke mumbles. "Get your mind out of the gutter Woods."
> 
> Or Clarke visits Arkadia with Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously adore writing this AU, I'm so in love. This chapter wasn't meant to be this long, whoops... I hope you enjoy and a huge thank you for all the kudos and comments! They mean the world to me.

**1 month later… (5 Months till the wedding)**

 

Nothing particularly special happened after the party and, like the pair had agreed, the kiss they had shared in the bathroom had been forgotten about. Clarke figured that Lexa just assumed that she'd forgotten about the kiss due to her drunkenness but that wasn't the case. Clarke remembered that kiss vividly, and she often caught herself thinking about the way Lexa's lips had felt against her own, a dangerous thought but an unavoidable one at that. Lexa couldn't just kiss her and expect Clarke to just forget. It was unfair. 

 

Clarke stops outside of the brunette's door and pauses for a long moment to just gather her thoughts when the door opens to reveal a shocked Lexa staring back at Clarke. "Uh, hey, I was just coming to find you." Lexa admits and Clarke raises her eyebrows - she just couldn't help it. Lexa made her feel silly, she made her feel light, like she wasn't weighed down by her troubles or grief, with Lexa there was just her and that was it. 

 

Over the past month Clarke hadn't spent much time away from Lexa. They'd been planning wedding things here and there, and future plans every so often, and maybe Clarke just liked spending as much time with the brunette as possible ending with them staying up late, watching Netflix or some kind of old romantic movie that Clarke only watched because Lexa seemed to genuinely like them. 

 

Clarke still didn't understand why people had bullied Lexa back in high school, in fact, Clarke couldn't imagine how cute and adorable the brunette must have been back in her teenage years - especially since Clarke had found out recently that Lexa needed glasses. She usually wore contacts but Clarke had been lucky enough to catch her wearing her glasses when she couldn't be bothered to put her contacts in. Clarke hadn't let her live it down, teasing her playfully, and maybe she'd hidden Lexa's contacts a couple of times to force the brunette to wear her glasses and to witness Lexa's adorable scowl and the way her glasses were perched on her nose. 

 

In truth, over the last month, Clarke had only been getting closer to her fiancée and she'd maybe,  _ accidentally _ , started falling for the curly haired, serious, cute, funny, lawyer. Clarke may not have been crazy about the whole arranged marriage thing but she honestly could not imagine going back to a time where she didn't know Lexa. 

 

Clarke only realises that Lexa was talking to her when the blonde notices Lexa's green eyes focused on her, an eyebrow raised and a very small amused smile on her lips. Clarke shakes her head, snapping back to reality, she'd been so absorbed in her thoughts of the brunette that she hadn't heard what she'd said. "I'm sorry," Clarke says shaking her head again. "what?" Lexa laughs at Clarke's obvious confusion and pulls Clarke into her room by grabbing her wrists. 

 

"There's something I have to give to you." Lexa repeats herself and Clarke just follows after her freely. 

 

"Wait." Clarke says stopping. The brunette turns around to face her fiancée with a curious look and Clarke really wished her eyes wouldn't drift to Lexa's lips but there they were, staring at her, and they looked  _ oh  _ so kissable. "You've met my friends, I think it's only fair that I meet yours." Clarke says with a wide smile and Lexa frowns at her in confusion. "I've arranged for us to go to Arkadia." Clarke clarifies. "I've always wanted to go to the city and now I have the perfect excuse." 

 

"I'm glad I could be your excuse to escape." Lexa jokes but she really had no idea. Lexa was Clarke's escape, in more ways than one, but Clarke wasn't about to bring that up or admit it out loud and scare Lexa away - the brunette was like the real life version of Chandler Bing... although maybe not as extreme. Clarke just felt like she might say something stupid, or do something stupid, to mess everything up and she just didn't want to do that. She didn't want to mess this up. 

 

"Come on Lexa, I want to see your apartment that you rave about and, meet your neighbour Lincoln, and I want to experience the city and, most importantly, I want to get the hell away from my suffocating mother." Clarke almost pleads tugging on Lexa's arm like a five year old child would when asking for something in a store but Lexa found it endearing. "We can have a road trip and we won't have any parents hanging around." Clarke encourages and Lexa just smiles at her enthusiasm. Lexa already knew her answer would be yes, she already knew this early on in their engagement that she'd do anything that Clarke asked, but she didn't have to let Clarke know that. 

 

"You really want to leave your enormous house to hangout in my apartment that's practically a shoebox compared to this place?" Lexa asks and Clarke scoffs as if that was the most ridiculous question she had been asked. 

 

"No, first of all, this place is a house it's not my home," Lexa looks at her with a little hint of sadness but mostly curiosity. "I've never really felt like this is my home." Clarke shrugs and Lexa actually understood - she'd felt that way for a long time except more about herself. She'd always felt awkward, and uncomfortable in her own skin, she still did, no matter what that feeling never really goes away, but Lexa felt like she had a home. She felt more at home when she was with Clarke - not that she'd admit that to the blonde. 

 

"You really want to meet my friends?" Lexa asks and Clarke nods happily and Lexa lets out a dramatic sigh. She takes her time to answer the blonde, enjoying how Clarke was playing with her hand nervously and giving her a wide hopeful stare. "Fine, I suppose we could go to Arkadia." Lexa relents though there never really was a doubt she was going to say no. 

 

" _ Yes _ !" Clarke explodes happily pulling Lexa into a tight hug surprising the brunette. It was nothing like their first embrace, that had been long and comforting, this was quick and Clarke was clearly far too excited to remain in Lexa's arms because as soon as she'd put her arms around her fiancée she's pulling back and grinning so wide at her that Lexa was surprised that her cheeks didn't hurt. "Oh my god, I have to go pack, you have to pack, we-" 

 

"On one condition." Lexa interrupts and Clarke narrows her eyes suspiciously at the brunette. 

 

"What?" Clarke asks hesitantly noticing Lexa's teasing smile that was threatening to break out onto her lips. 

 

"You don't drive like a maniac and you don't put that God awful country music you insist on listening to on." Lexa says though she was joking about the misc part -  _ mostly  _ \- Clarke knew Lexa loved it when she blasted some country music and sang along to it. 

 

"Fine, whatever you want," Clarke says before smirking. "but I'm totally putting country on. That's a no deal." Lexa feigns annoyance but Clarke sees right through it and the brunette just ends up giggling which really was the most amazing sound that Clarke had ever heard. She'd never get used to the way that Lexa laughed, it was so rare and beautiful, everything that came from those lips was perfect - especially that soft moan she'd let out when Clarke had been kissing her in the bathroom and - _No!_ _Stop Clarke. Get that kiss out of your head. Lexa has._

 

Clarke claps her hands together startling Lexa and focusing her attention on the situation at hand. "Okay, I'll go start packing-  _ oh _ , you had something for me?" Clarke asks remembering that Lexa had mentioned something about having something for her. Lexa shakes her head and gives Clarke a half shrug. 

 

"It can wait." Lexa replies and Clarke stares at her for a moment trying to decide if Lexa was honestly okay with waiting and Lexa just gives her a reassuring smile. "Go pack Clarke." Lexa orders rolling her eyes. 

 

"Okay." Clarke says reluctantly. "Will you at least wear your classes?" Clarke asks with a pout and Lexa shakes her head in amusement. She doesn't reply but simply places her hands on Clarke's shoulders and turns her towards the door gently guiding the blonde out of her room. Clarke halts when she steps outside the door and turns around to face Lexa once again. "I'll meet you downstairs in five." Clarke says with a huge grin and Lexa nods in agreement. Clarke leans up slightly and places a lingering kiss on Lexa's cheek who instantly blushes from the gesture. Clarke pulls back, running her thumb over the heat of Lexa's cheek, before walking away down the hallway. 

 

Lexa closes her door and leans against it to support herself. She was going home with her fiancée - her future wife - and Lexa still couldn't believe how her life has changed in such little time. Clarke made Lexa fucking nervous and it didn't help that the kiss they had shared was burnt into Lexa's memory, in fact, Lexa's heart was still beating irregularly from a mere kiss on the cheek. Clarke was just so hands on which wouldn't have been a problem if Lexa had this self control she had been trying to convince herself she possessed. To be fair, she hadn't given in yet which really was an admirable feat considering she really just wanted to crumble. Lexa didn't know what had happened to her, why Clarke made her want to throw down her carefully constructed walls, the blonde was only burying herself deeper into what felt like Lexa's soul and she'd had a month to do so. 

 

Falling asleep with Clarke had become normal so much so that when it didn't happen Lexa kind of felt colder and lonely and, truthfully, she was worried how they would fall into this pattern in Arkadia. It was easy here, the house was so large and full with parents, who both wanted to avoid, that they'd lock themselves away when possible, in either bedroom, to talk or to watch something and they just ended up falling asleep and it was weird that it  _ wasn't  _ weird. Lexa just couldn't explain it and she couldn't imagine a better sight first thing in the morning than a grumpy Clarke Griffin, with bed hair and a bright smile plastered on her incredibly good looking face. 

 

Lexa was aware that she had it bad Anya had told her numerous times, when her friend had called to check in on her and asked how things were going, Lexa would go off for hours about the blonde, and she could practically hear Anya's smirk through the receiver every time, but she didn't care because Clarke was just too good to stop talking about and Lexa was really glad that she was marrying this woman. It all could’ve been pretty terrible. 

 

Over the past month Lexa had learnt a lot about Clarke, small things like, she was always grumpy and hard to wake up in the morning, she liked her coffee black with two sugars, her favourite colour was blue, she could sing, she could play guitar, she was incredibly caring, generous, humble, kind and she liked to sleep on the right side of the bed. Both hadn't touched anymore on their past lovers so Lexa knew only the small details that Clarke had told her that day they had been out walking in the woods together - which she was fine with because Lexa didn't feel like opening up that wound anymore than she had to - but Clarke had opened up about her struggle with her mother. 

 

Clarke was a fully trained surgeon which was not only impressive but also kind of hot - Lexa didn't realise she'd had a thing for doctors but, then again, maybe she just hadn't seen the right doctors. Clarke was especially good with the brain - although sometimes she fluctuated between cardio and neuro. Her mother has, apparently, been pushing for Clarke to get a job at the hospital for years now and that just makes Clarke dislike the idea further. When Lexa had asked her why Clarke responded with "It's like, when you're going to do a chore but your mom tells you to do it before you have the chance and you just feel the drive, _ the motivation _ , drain out of you because, yeah, I was going to do it but now that you've told me to I don't want to anymore because then it looks like  _ they've  _ won." To which Lexa had drawn the conclusion that Clarke was tremendously stubborn. She did want to be a doctor and help people but she didn't want to do it because that's what her mom wanted, or because that's what was expected of her, she wanted to find her own way bringing Lexa to find out that Clarke was stubborn and independent. Sure, Clarke leaned on her friends when she needed to but the girl liked to earn her way in life, she liked to earn friendships, respect and maybe even love. The girl didn't like just having things handed to her on a metal plate hence why she got so mad at Abby applying for her to work in Polis Memorial. Lexa encouraged Clarke to follow her heart, even if her mom was a pain in the ass, because, if Clarke wanted to help people, she shouldn't be held back by something so trivial but Clarke was stubborn. Her stubbornness almost matched Lexa's which really was impressive. 

 

Lexa understood, except, when it came to her own mom Lexa gave in quite easily. After losing her father and being left with only one person who was blood related to her, that she knew of, Lexa felt that she had to look after her mom, to follow her wishes, although she did voice her disapproval by brooding around and being grumpy but mostly she wanted to keep her mom healthy and safe meaning do as she was told and never question her mother. Mother knows best. Lexa's mom had made that a thing even before Tangled. 

 

Lexa grabs a bag realising she'd wasted a good majority of time daydreaming about her blonde fiancée - that shouldn't be a bad thing but Lexa wasn't sure, under the circumstances, if it was a good thing either. Lexa takes the small velvet black box her mom had given her in the hope that Lexa would finally make their engagement an  _ engagement _ . The ring apparently belonged to her grandmother, someone who Lexa had never met, and her mom had told Lexa that her grandmother had always wanted Lexa’s mom’s son to give it to their fiancée but Lexa was her only baby, and she was a girl, so that was the next best thing. 

 

Her mom had been completely bewildering when Lexa had come out. The young teen had been nervous beyond belief, fearing her mother would kick her out for being gay, but her mom had simply shrugged and claimed she'd always known and she'd made her peace with it a long time ago. Lexa didn't really care about everyone else  _ but  _ her mom's opinion so she was more than relieved to find that her mom was completely okay with it. Lexa shakes her head and sets away packing realising she was severely lacking and running out of time. 

 

**//**

  
  


Lexa was interrupted a few minutes later by, no other than, her favourite butler, although she didn't have many butlers to compare him to, Alfred. He enters her room and gives her a bright smile and Lexa easily returns it. "Miss Griffin informed me that you were leaving." Alfred says. "Is there anyway that I may help you Miss Woods?" He asks and Lexa’s smile grows. Alfred was kind and selfless and, even if it was his job, he never asked for anything in return and he was just a solid dependable guy. 

 

"Oh, no, I'm pretty much all done." Lexa says zipping up her bag. Alfred steps inside and picks up Lexa's bag, before Lexa has a chance to protest, he gives her a look. 

 

"Miss Woods, I recognise that you find it difficult to accept help but I thought we were past that and you realized that it was my job to help you?" Alfred asks raising a playful eyebrow. Lexa lets out a huff in annoyance and the butler's grin only widens. Lexa really was stubborn - especially when it came to accepting other's help - she allows Alfred to pick up her bags and she follows after him almost automatically. "Miss Griffin is waiting for you downstairs." Alfred informs Lexa. 

 

"In a weird way, I'm kind of sad to be leaving Polis." Lexa admits and Alfred looks at her curiously. Lexa shrugs, it wasn't the big house or anything, she just liked Polis as a whole. It was calm, quiet, and warm, all things that Lexa happened to like. "I'll miss you Alfred." Lexa says playfully and the butler chuckles. 

 

"Don't worry Miss Woods I'm sure you will return." He replies. "Master Griffin and his wife have arranged things for your impending wedding that I imagine they will need your opinion on." 

 

"If I see another picture of centerpieces I swear to-" Lexa begins. 

 

"No more centerpieces Miss Woods," Alfred says interrupting what was surely going to be a curse from Lexa. "something a little more important." Lexa frowns at him and he simply winks. 

 

The pair walk down the stairs, talking lightly about small affairs like the weather, when Lexa notices Clarke standing by the front door with a huge grin on her face. The blonde looked down right giddy and her usually bright blue eyes looked even more stunning with her excitement. "I'll take Miss Woods's bags to the car Miss Griffin and then you can be on your way." Alfred says with a kind smile which Clarke returns. 

 

"Thank you Alfred." Clarke says gratefully and he bows his head slightly before exiting out the door. Lexa watches after him for a second before Clarke steps in front of her and forces Lexa to focus on her -  _ how could she not? _

 

Clarke reaches up and pushes Lexa's glasses back slightly causing Lexa to go momentarily crosseyed and earning her a laugh from Clarke. Lexa grins at the, sound she loved hearing Clarke laugh, it was the sweetest melody that Lexa had ever heard and she'd listen to it forever if she could. "You wore them." Clarke says happily. 

 

"Well I'm all about pleasing my significant other." Lexa says and she doesn't mean to but the suggestiveness to her tone is heavy and causes Clarke's eyebrows to quirk up. 

 

"We should get the hell out of here before my mom tries to force me into a job again." Clarke says gesturing towards the door. 

 

"Should we not tell your parents we’re leaving?" Lexa asks nervously because she'd hate to piss off her in-laws who she, admittedly, hadn't spent much time getting to know but Abby scared Lexa, if she was honest, and Jake was just too friendly that Lexa was worried she'd screw up and say something that would hurt his feelings. 

 

"My dad knows and that's enough." Clarke says and Lexa nods her head. "Your mom will be coming along soon though if you want to talk to her." Clarke says softly and Lexa nods. "I'll be outside with Alfred." Clarke tells her before turning and walking out the front door. 

 

Lexa turns around to see her mom leaning against the doorframe to one of the three openings. She was smiling, very slightly, and Lexa felt herself relax at the sight. "Come here." Her mother orders but it's not demanding, it’s soft and gentle, and Lexa walks towards her without questioning her why. Lexa stops in front of her, her expression a little guilty since she was leaving her mom with the Griffins - not that she would mind her mother was more equipped for this lifestyle than anyone Lexa had ever met. Her mom reaches up and smooths Lexa's hair down with her hands then brings them to rest gently on either side of Lexa's face. "My baby Alexandria." She coos and Lexa frowns because, normally, her mother is never as affectionate as this. "I'm very proud of you, you know that?" 

 

"Mom?" Lexa says hesitantly and Lexa's mom smiles sadly. 

 

"I know I'm a little hard on you but I love you very much." She continues.

 

"I love you too." Lexa says seriously and her mom's smile turns from sad to a small lopsided one - the very same kind that Lexa often did. 

 

"I was so worried about you," her mother confesses "after Costia I thought... I thought I'd lost my little girl forever but now you're happy. Does Clarke make you feel happy?" Her mom asks and Lexa pauses. She couldn't even remember the last time her mother had willingly brought Costia up, of course she had indirectly but, she hadn't spoken her name in years and, although Lexa still felt a dull ache in her chest at the mention of her deceased lover, it was nothing like the soul destroying, paralysing, suffocating, feeling she had once gotten from hearing her name. Lexa thinks about what her mom was asking and unknowingly begins nodding her head before she's able to even think about what they might mean - or the fact that she was already answering subconsciously. 

 

"She makes me feel... I don't know... whole?" Lexa answers and her mother nods her head in understanding. She leans up and kisses Lexa softly on the forehead and the young girl was seriously beginning to worry because her mother hadn’t done this since she was about six years old and she'd fallen off her bike and scraped her knee. 

 

"Enjoy your trip back home." She says and Lexa nods her head. Her mom pulls Lexa in for a hug and Lexa melts right into it, missing her mother's comforting warmth and feeling, there was no way to describe it: the touch of a mother was healing in unexplainable ways. Sometimes there was only one person who could comfort a child and that was their mother. 

 

Lexa frowns, however, when she feels the fragility of her her mom in her arms - she could've sworn she wasn't this slim before, in fact, her mom did look somewhat tired. Lexa pulls back, her brow creasing in worry, and her mom looks back at her with dull green eyes. "Mom..." Lexa says hesitantly. "Are you okay?" She asks and her mother gives her another lopsided smile. 

 

"I'm fine Alexandria." Her mother says tapping Lexa on the cheek gently but Lexa’s frown doesn't lessen and her worry doesn't subside. "I'm supposed to look after you, not the other way around." That hadn't been what Lexa was suggesting but it did catch her attention. 

 

"Mo-" 

 

"Shh my child." Her mother shushes and Lexa reluctantly does as she's told. "Enjoy your time in Arkadia and I will see you when you return. Clarke is good for you, you need her." Her mother tells Lexa and Lexa wants to protest that if something is wrong then her mom should stop being proud and just spit it out but where did Lexa get her stubbornness from? Her mother of course. Lexa wasn't going to crack that case anytime soon, even if she was an expert lawyer, so, instead, she gives her mother a stern look, one that says 'we'll talk about this later', before her mom is walking away from her down the hallway. 

 

Lexa exits the house to find Clarke chatting to Alfred. The blonde turns around and quickly picks up on Lexa’s despondent mood as soon as she sees the brunette. "What's wrong?" Clarke asks and Alfred remains silent. 

 

"What?" Lexa snaps out of her daze to stare at the beautiful blonde. "Oh, um, nothing... I don't think." Lexa says with a shrug and Clarke looks at Alfred as they both share concerned glances. Lexa walks wordlessly to the car and gets in the passenger side. Clarke turns to Alfred who was watching Lexa with concern and worry. 

 

"What do I do?" Clarke asks Alfred who fixes her with a gentle look. 

 

"Miss Griffin, everything you do for Miss Woods makes her feel better." He says matter of factly. "Just be yourself and that's enough." He bops Clarke on the nose, like he used to when she had been younger, and the blonde smiles at him. 

 

"I'll see you when we get back Alfred." Clarke says her goodbyes and the butler nods his head. 

 

"It would be my pleasure Miss Griffin. Give Miss Woods my kind regards." Clarke watches after him for a second before slipping into her car. 

 

She sits for a minute, watching as Lexa chewed her lip and played nervously with her hands in her lap, before she sighs and turns to face the front. "If you don't want to go we don't have to." Clarke states snapping Lexa back to reality. The brunette looks confused for a second before realising what Clarke was saying. 

 

"No, I want to." Lexa replies pressing her hands into her thighs and running her palms along her skinny jeans. "I just- something’s off with my mom." 

 

"Like what?" Clarke asks gently - softly even - she was genuinely concerned and seeing Lexa upset made Clarke's chest feel tight and she had an overwhelming feeling to protect the brunette from all stress, worry or harm. 

 

"She just... I don't know." Lexa says with a shrug. "I just know that something isn’t right." 

 

"Maybe she's just having a bad day?" Clarke suggests. "I'm sure if something was wrong she'd tell you." 

 

"You don't know my mother too well." Lexa replies with a small chuckle. 

 

"No, but I know you. And you tend to worry about people too much, you're sweet and caring, and I know you like to pretend you're not Lexa, but you  _ care.  _ You care a lot and that's okay. But there's nothing you can do until your mom tells you what's wrong,  _ if  _ there is anything wrong." Clarke reassures and Lexa looks at her with an awestruck look - it seemed Clarke had learned about Lexa over the past month too. Clarke was right, of course, Lexa did care, it was one of the reasons why she had wanted to become a lawyer, but she just couldn't help this nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Lexa," Clarke's voice is demanding, without being loud, and the way that she said her name rolls so smoothly off of Clarke's tongue had she not been worrying she might have swooned -  _ might have. _ "she'll tell you, she has to." 

 

"Yeah." Lexa sighs shaking her head to shrug off her weird feeling. "She told me to have a good time and we're going home." Clarke smiles at her reassuringly and Lexa smiles back in response. 

 

Clarke starts up the car and rolls down the windows. Lexa turns her head to look at Clarke, raising her eyebrows in suspicion, and the blonde just grins as she slowly backs out of the driveway. She reaches her hand out as soon as she reaches the road and flicks on the stereo to the car. The blonde revs her engine and Lexa gives her a warning look, reminding her of their deal, but, before she can express her disapproval of the blonde’s driving skills, music starts blasting from the stereo and Lexa barely contains the groan she feels at what she hears. "C'mon Lex, this is a classic." Clarke says nudging her. " _ Tumble outta bed, and I stumble to the kitchen, pour myself a cup of ambition, and yawn and stretch, and try to come to life _ . " Clarke sings along and maybe - _ just maybe _ \- Lexa smiles because Clarke was cheering her up. Clarke was being silly, Clarke was being Clarke, and that's what made Lexa feel better. The blonde drives sensibly, yet quite fast, down the forest secluded road with Dolly Parton's ‘9 To 5’ blasting out the windows and all Lexa could do was laugh as her fiancée serenaded her.

 

**//**

  
  


They stop about halfway to Arkadia to fuel up Clarke's car - and maybe Lexa wanted a bunch of junk food for the remaining journey. The brunette returns with a bag full of goodies and sets them on the passenger seat ready for when they climbed back into the car. She then leans against the car as Clarke stands slowly filling up her tank happily tapping her foot as she watches the dial rise. "Your butler mentioned something about your parents having something planned for our wedding?" Lexa asks catching Clarke's attention. Her blue eyes flutter between looking at Lexa and checking the dial. 

 

"Right, yeah, they have a dress fitting for both of us some time, I can't remember when though." Clarke admits. "I tend to avoid my mom when possible and my dad isn't the best to go to for wedding stuff." Lexa laughs and Clarke slows her pace realising she was almost on a full tank. 

 

Lexa glances down at the ground and takes a deep breath. Lexa hated to be  _ that  _ stereotype but the thought of walking around in a white puffy bridal dress for hours, in uncomfortable heels, ridiculous makeup, with her hair done in some extravagant do, just  _ did not _ appeal to her in the slightest. She tries to refrain from shuddering at the thought but Clarke could easily read the girl's displeasure and uncomfortable body language at such a thought. The closest Lexa had come to wearing a dress that was remotely that like of a wedding dress was for her prom a night that she did not like to remember for obvious reasons - let's just say not everyone likes to lose their virginity on prom night and Lexa doesn't like boys. It didn't matter that she was out as gay, for some reason, guys took that as a challenge which was stupid but Lexa didn't like to think about them too much anyway. She'd spent hours in a pink puffy dress, insisted upon by her mother, in heels that made her awkward - and if adult Lexa was anything to go by for her complete inability to walk in those contraptions then teen Lexa was the definition of flat on her ass bambi - she'd spent most the night standing in the corner, fending off horny teenage boys, while Anya had to keep her upright and preferably not on the floor. Pretty much: it was shit. Prom has put her off all things puffy dresses and ridiculous heels - not exactly ideal for a wedding. 

 

Clarke seems to sense Lexa's discomfort and her slight wince doesn't slip past Clarke either. "You don't have to wear a dress Lexa." Clarke says nudging her and bringing Lexa back from her nightmare prom flashback. Lexa gives her a tiny smile, focusing back on the blue orbs in front of her. 

 

"I'm pretty sure I do." Lexa says dismissively. 

 

"I'm not." Clarke says. She plays with the collar of Lexa's leather jacket and the brunette glances nervously down at the blonde's hand. "I think you'd look pretty hot, dashing even, in a suit." Lexa frowns at Clarke who just smirks. "Whatever you decide though. It's up to you." Clarke says before strutting off to pay for the fuel she had just filled up on. Lexa watches after her shamelessly checking out her fiancée which she figured was socially acceptable, she was going to be married to this woman anyway, plus ‘death by Clarke Griffin's hotness’ seemed like a good thing to have engraved on her headstone. 

 

Lexa waits patiently for Clarke's return, so lost in her thoughts that she jumps when a hand carelessly pushes her glasses back so they were resting properly on her face. "You're cute." Clarke muses walking around and getting back in her car. Lexa gets in the passenger seat grumbling about Clarke's comment which just caused the blonde to become smug. 

 

"Please, no more country." Lexa groans, and practically begs, and Clarke sighs. 

 

"Fine, I guess we could just talk." She relents and Lexa roots around until she finds her can of Dr Pepper. Clarke makes a face which catches Lexa's attention and she stares at her. 

 

"Do you have a problem with my drink?" Lexa questions and she can already see the beginning of an amused smile at the corner of Clarke's lips. 

 

"Dr Pepper is like that one cousin who everyone finds annoying but has to pretend they like." Lexa scoffs at such an accusation. 

 

"Oh and I suppose you're more of a Coca-Cola girl?" Lexa asks in a mocking tone and Clarke shakes her head. 

 

"Actually, I prefer Sprite." She teases. 

 

"Dr Pepper is America's favourite soft drink." Lexa protests and Clarke laughs. 

 

"Sure it is sweetie." Clarke says dismissively. 

 

"Dr Pepper kept me alive during law school." Lexa continues. "I wouldn't be here without it." 

 

" _ Again _ , you're cute." Clarke repeats and she takes the can from Lexa's hand, keeping her eyes on the road, and takes a gulp of the liquid. She shudders from the fizz that hits her full force and hands the can back to Lexa. She makes a noise, like she was tasting the liquid over and over again, before coming to a conclusion. "It's okay I suppose." She relents and Lexa smiles smugly her face saying 'I told you so' without her having to say the words. "Not as good as some of the things I've tasted." Clarke comments. Lexa snorts -  _ she actually snorts _ \- and Clarke feels a pleasant feeling bubble in her stomach at the sound and her body reacts in ways that she'd forgotten it could. 

 

"I'm sure you never meant for that to be dirty Griffin but that's how I took it." Lexa says still laughing to herself and Clarke rolls her eyes a light blush colouring her cheeks at that revelation. 

 

"Shut up." Clarke mumbles. "Get your mind out of the gutter Woods." The pair continue their light hearted conversation for miles. Time seemed non-existent, when they were with each other and, everything seemed to be warped with just the two of them together. 

 

**//**

  
  


Clarke holds her breath as they approach Arkadia, tall skyscrapers stretched out for miles, the sky was slightly darker than that of the country, the dull colours of the city a palette of grey which was beautiful in the most usual way, and Clarke totally understood what Lexa had meant when she had mentioned that life was just buzzing around you - even within the car Clarke felt relatively more lively. Truth be told, she hadn't left Polis in a really long time and she'd never been to a city quite like Arkadia. 

 

Somewhere along the way Clarke and Lexa had swapped and so the brunette was driving towards what, Clarke assumed, was probably her apartment and Clarke was staring out the window like a bright eyed excited five year old in a candy shop. She loved Arkadia. She'd been in the city for all of two minutes - and in a car no less - and she loved it. Clarke's never felt like she has belonged in the country - despite her obvious love for the genre of music - she's far too unsettled on the inside, she likes things fast and exciting, the country was slow and calm something Clarke's never understood. Lexa was more suited for the country: she was mellow, kind and calm all the time - it was a little infuriating that she was so grounded. For someone so slim Clarke was surprised by Lexa's obvious strength. She exudes confidence, dominance and strength and Clarke's pretty sure she doesn't even mean to it was probably just habit from high school - a defense mechanism. That made Lexa suitable for anywhere but Clarke just couldn't stop thinking about the way Lexa's eyes matched the green of the pine trees and her fresh earth scent that drove her insane. Lexa was just too good to be real that Clarke felt the need to pinch herself regularly to make sure she wasn't dreaming - or dead for that matter. 

 

They drive a few miles into the city before Lexa's parking the car outside of an apartment building. "Home sweet home." Lexa mutters switching the car off and looking at Clarke who was already jumping out of the car. She was desperate to smell the city, to experience it to its full potential, and the second her feet connect with the concrete sidewalk she takes the deepest breath in that she can muster. Her lungs burn with the unfamiliar air filling them and Clarke closes her eyes as her senses go into overload. She could smell food, hot dogs most likely, the smell of nearby people, the air was dense and she could smell exhaust fumes all blending together to give the city an authentic one of the kind smell that Clarke was certain she would never tire of - like Lexa. 

 

Lexa just chuckles at the blonde, who was clearly fascinated by the whole experience, Clarke hadn’t even realised that the brunette had come up beside her until she hears the low rumble of her chuckle. Clarke cracks her eyes open and looks to her left to see Lexa staring at her with amusement lighting her green eyes a shade brighter and a lopsided smile, that Clarke loved, on her face. Lexa smiling was becoming common now, before it had been tiny, almost impossible to see if you didn't know her well enough or look hard enough, but now, to Clarke at least, it was easy to spot. "Welcome to Arkadia." Lexa says and Clarke smiles so wide that her cheeks hurt and one thought occurs to her:  _ home _ . 

 

Polis was old news, it had nothing to offer her, Arkadia was where she belonged, she could feel it in her bones, in her soul, and, she didn't want to scare Lexa off but, the possibility that they would be living together, after their marriage, in Arkadia was high. "Right this way." Lexa says gesturing for Clarke to follow. 

 

The pair enter the apartment building, after Lexa uses her key, and they begin the ascent up the stairs with Clarke looking around in a daze. The apartment building was clearly new, it wasn't extremely flashy or anything but Clarke could tell it had been built quite recently. They climb six flights of stairs before they reach the top and Clarke's almost breathless since she'd lost a good majority of oxygen hyperventilating over the city outside. The building wasn't huge, especially since the top floor was the sixth, but Clarke didn't care about the size it was very Lexa which was what Clarke had expected. 

 

Lexa stops in her tracks when she reaches the top landing and Clarke looks at her curiously to find the brunette staring at a stocky muscular looking guy standing outside the door to one of the apartments. There were only two doors, so Clarke knew one of the apartments had to belong to Lexa, she just didn't know who this man was or even if he lived here. The guy turns around and freezes, much like Lexa had, and his eyes widen in surprise. "Lexa?" He asks a big goofy smile making its way to his face. A broad smile - one of the broadest Clarke had seen on Lexa's face - spreads across the young lawyer's features and then she's hugging him and he's enveloping her in a tight bear hug that causes a spark of jealousy in the pit of Clarke's stomach - despite her knowing that was ridiculous. He was a guy and Lexa was gay for god's sake. 

 

Lexa looked ridiculously small compared to the guy. He was big and muscly and Lexa, although she was muscular, she was slim and she just looked tiny in his tight embrace. The hug lasts a few minutes before the guy notices Clarke and Lexa detaches herself from him. The guy looks curiously at Lexa, and then at Clarke, and the brunette glances between them. "Clarke, this is Lincoln." Lexa introduces them. "Lincoln, this is Clarke."  _ Of course, Lincoln!  _ Clarke had forgotten about the fact that Lexa had mentioned her long time best friend, Lincoln, who was her neighbour - she also forgot that Lexa had described him as being like a brother to her so now Clarke felt extra stupid for that surge of jealousy before. 

 

"Clarke?" Lincoln says. He was a handsome man by all accounts, he was cute, like a puppy, but he also looked like he could punch through a wall should he need to. 

 

"My fiancée." Lexa says and Lincoln's eyes almost pop out of his head. 

 

"You leave for a month and you come back engaged? Whoa, Lex." Lincoln jokes. He knew the real story but teasing Lexa about it was entertaining. "It's nice to finally meet you Clarke." Lincoln stretches his hand out and Clarke takes it with a kind smile. 

 

"You too." Clarke says nodding her head at him. 

 

"Okay, here's what I'm thinking, pizza night and a movie?" He directs the question at Clarke and Lexa watches them with a smile. "You're new to Arkadia, you have to try the pizza from Dropship it’s," Lincoln kisses his fingers and then extends them blowing his kiss into the air. "bellissimo." He says and Clarke chuckles. 

 

"That actually sounds pretty good." Clarke wanted to get to know Lexa's friends like she had gotten to know her's. Lincoln seemed like a good guy, a big softie disguised beneath hard muscle and sharp bones. 

 

"Alright." Lincoln says with a wide smile. "Great, I'll swing by at seven armed with pizza and other goodies. Oh, is there any kind of pizza you don't like? I know what Lex likes but..." Lincoln trails off - he didn't know Clarke is the point he was trying to make. Clarke gives him a soft laugh and nods her head in understanding. 

 

"Anything, just, no pineapple. Fruit has no business being on a pizza." Clarke says scrunching her nose up in a facial expression that Lexa, personally, found the cutest sight in the world. Lincoln chuckles and nods his head, showing that he totally understood, before he gave Lexa another quick hug goodbye and a squeeze of Clarke's arm as he passes by her. Lexa looks at Clarke and the blonde raises her eyebrows. 

 

"I'll warn you now, it's nothing special." Lexa says and Clarke rolls her eyes. 

 

"Stop being dramatic and open the damn door." Clarke says and Lexa unlocks her door and pushes it open. Clarke follows behind Lexa and halts the second she enters the apartment. It wasn't as small as Lexa made out to be, in fact, it was quite a generous apartment with plenty of space for two people - or more - to live comfortably. Lexa drops her keys on a small wooden table by the door that also had a phone and an answering machine sat on top of it. 

 

Lexa watches as Clarke steps a little further into the apartment and let's her eyes scan over the room. It was simple, clean and organised, in other words, it was practically Lexa as a room. The walls were a very light blue, meaning it wasn't bright or too in your face, the floor was white laminate wood, there was a couch in the centre of the room, a rug below it, with a wooden coffee table sat in front of it which had a vase of fake flowers and a book set on top of it. The walls were pretty much bare with very little decorations other than the paint, there was a TV on a wooden TV cabinet that matched the coffee table's colour and the kitchen was separated by a open doorframe to the right of where Clarke stood. 

 

The kitchen was your standard kitchen, although Clarke's eyes caught on the fancy coffee machine and she couldn't help but smile at the image of Lexa waking up and going straight to her kitchen to make a cup of coffee. There was a white desk that was littered with paper, and Clarke was certain she could see a laptop buried underneath it all though she couldn’t actually see, there was a small bookcase, beside the desk, stocked full of various different books, there were two doors to two bedrooms, Clarke assumed, and then one other door to the side which was probably the bathroom. All in all the apartment was perfect. Everything tied together nicely and it felt homely and lived in - unlike Clarke's home which sometimes felt big and hollow. 

 

Clarke jumps, when she hears the beep of the machine, snapping out of her wonder to see Lexa frowning down at her answering machine. "Hey, Lexa, it’s Echo. I know you told me you were going out of town but I really need to speak to you as soon as possible so give me a call as soon as you get this message, thanks." The machine clicks as the message moves on. "Lexa, I  _ really  _ hope you get your ass back soon because I need you right now and I don't know what to do.  _ Call me _ ." It clicks again. "I’m going to have to find another lawyer if you don't call me back, which I don't want to do because you're the best fucking lawyer I've ever met. Give me a damn call back." The machine clicks off and Lexa fiddles with it to delete the messages. 

 

"Girlfriend?" Clarke teases and Lexa looks at her. 

 

"No, a client." She replies. "If she's tried to reach me so many times it must be something important." 

 

"Why don't you give out your mobile?" Clarke asks curiously and Lexa just shrugs. 

 

"It’s business, my phone number seems a little personal." Lexa replies and Clarke frowns. "Maybe I should though to avoid situations like this." Lexa admits. She looks up at Clarke and gestures to her machine. "I'm going to call her back, I think there's some beers in the fridge." Lexa informs her and Clarke smiles making her way to the kitchen. 

 

She opens the fridge to find it almost barren - the only thing in there was two beers and an old take out that Clarke was certain would probably be all kinds of furry by now. Lexa always did strike Clarke as all business no pleasure kind of girl but it seemed she didn't even take care of herself in the form of food. 

 

Clarke sets the beers down on the counter and begins opening random draws in order to find a bottle opener. She rips open one draw and begins rooting around inside of it when something catches her eyes. She pulls the postcard out and stares at it for a moment a small frown crossing her features. It was a postcard from Lexa's old high school, or what Clarke assumed was her old high school considering it was addressed to her, and said ‘8 Year Reunion!’ on it. Clarke looks at the date to see that the reunion was in just two days time and Lexa hadn't even mentioned it. 

 

She continues her searching and finds the bottle opener. She pops the lids off both beers, returns the bottle opener to where she had found it, grabs the two beers, and the postcard, and heads back to Lexa who was talking on the phone. "It's no problem Echo, really." Lexa says giving Clarke an apologetic smile as she listens to Echo's response. "No, I've got all your case details on my desk, I'm all up to date, a quick review and we'll win this thing, I promise." Lexa counties. "Don't worry, everything will be fine." Lexa was awfully confident, Clarke notes, she really shouldn't be making promises that she may or may not be able to keep, then again, Clarke didn't know the half of Lexa's ability as a lawyer. "I'll talk to you later." Lexa says connecting eyes with Clarke who smiles at her. "Yes,  tomorrow, at court, no problem." Lexa assures and Clarke had to admit that she was sort of excited to see Lexa in action - she kind of hoped she'd be able to witness the brunette in the court. "Bye Echo." Lexa hangs up the phone and heaves a heavy sigh. She accepts the beer extended to her which was good beer, Clarke notes, which was good because Lexa looked like she could use one. 

 

"Thanks." She mutters running a hand through her tousled curls. "I'm sorry about this I never thought my client would need me for a while but it seems-" 

 

"Can I come?" Clarke interrupts Lexa's apology and the brunette blinks a couple of times in confusion. 

 

"You? You want to come?" Lexa asks clearly confused by Clarke's request and the girl nods her head enthusiastically. 

 

"Hell yeah I want to come." Clarke says as though that shouldn't be a surprise to the brunette. "I want to see you doing your job, I want to see that lawyers aren't as bad as everyone makes them out to be."  _ And really, if every lawyer was like Lexa they couldn't be that bad. _ Lexa laughs and shakes her head in amusement. 

 

"I suppose you could come along." Lexa says fondly. "Do you want to know more about the case?" Lexa asks and Clarke sips her beer sighing from the slight fizz and coolness of the liquid. 

 

"Maybe later." Clarke says stretching her hand out with the postcard in it. Lexa stares at it for a long moment - obviously recognising it but not wanting to comment on it. "So were you going to tell me you have a high school reunion?" Clarke asks and Lexa steps past her into the living room. 

 

"I'm not going so why would I?" Lexa replies and Clarke rolls her eyes - she really was picking up that habit from Lexa. 

 

"Come on Lexa, what happened to that ‘I want to rub my success in my old high school bullies faces’ attitude?" Clarke asks. "Plus you happen to have a really hot,  _ female _ , fiancée who you can show off and make them even more jealous." Lexa smirks at her and Clarke smiles in return. 

 

"I don't know." Lexa says hesitantly. "I'm not sure I could face them." She admits and Clarke scoffs. 

 

"Please, just introduce me as Clarke Griffin, your fiancée, and they'll freak out. Plus you'll be off a fresh win from the day before with your case." Clarke says with a wink. "Now come on, I want a tour, a  _ real  _ one." She says and Lexa smiles. What had she done to deserve Clarke Griffin? Clarke was right, of course, she should go to her reunion, and she should show off how well she was doing, but that didn't make it any easier. Lexa had spent a good majority of her life being tortured by those people, forgive her for not feeling completely confident in seeing them again. Lexa nods her head and begins showing Clarke around, she had to focus on other things for the time being, like her case  tomorrow, that she wasn't really worried about, but also entertaining Clarke.

 

**//**

 

Clarke was sitting in front of the TV cabinet searching through Lexa's movies for something that they could watch together. It was five minutes before seven and, if Lexa knew Lincoln, he would be dead on time. The engaged couple had spent their time unpacking and Lexa had reviewed her case for a few hours, with Clarke helping or listening as she ironed out a few details, but she was feeling especially confident about the whole thing. It was an unspoken issue but Lexa figured that Clarke would be sleeping in the second bedroom, which was disappointing but she didn't have the nerve to suggest they stay in the same room and, besides, that just sounded like an awkward thing to bring up and Lexa was already awkward she didn't need to go around putting herself purposely in awkward situations. Plus,  _ why would they sleep in the same bed? _ They might be engaged but their not actually a couple - despite Lexa's growing adoration for the blonde. They weren't actually a couple so it makes sense that they'd be sleeping in different rooms. 

 

"Oh my God." Clarke gasps pulling Lexa from her thoughts and causing her brow to crease in confusion. "Lexa Woods owns Legally Blonde?" Clarke asks bursting out laughing and Lexa blushes furiously. That had been a gift from Anya, as a joke when she'd gotten into law school, but she'd actually watched the movie on numerous occasions, even before she had had the disk, and Anya had stated it was about time she got an actual copy. 

 

"Oh, um, that was a gift." Lexa excuses because it was a little embarrassing if she was completely honest. "I forgot it was in there." Lexa murmurs swiping for the box from Clarke's grasp but Clarke dodges her. 

 

"Elle Woods and Lexa Woods? You're practically the same person." Clarke teases giggling as Lexa practically throws herself at the blonde. Lexa tackles her against the floor and the blonde smirks up at her as she maneuvers her hands out of Lexa's grasp. Clarke lets out a dramatic gasp which causes Lexa to pause and give her a questioning gaze. "You're legally brunette!" She bursts and Lexa rolls her eyes gazing down at the beautiful blonde below her. Clarke was laughing hysterically now and all Lexa could do was look at her in the most adoring way, with what she could only explain to be heart eyes, while they were both in a pretty compromising position. 

 

"Except I didn't go to law school because I wanted my boyfriend to take me back."

Lexa points out and Clarke takes a deep breath to steady her breathing. 

 

"Girlfriend?" She asks teasingly and Lexa shakes her head. 

 

"Nope." Lexa replies. "I went because I wanted to give justice to those who deserved it." 

 

"You love your job." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. Lexa nods, her eyes drifting all over Clarke who was staring up at her with her sky blue eyes and her incredibly good looking face, Lexa feels like she should move but she can't bring herself to do so. Their gazes connect and Lexa can only see Clarke. It's a scary thought but Lexa couldn't imagine being with anyone else right now, she felt like she'd found a person, and, no, that didn't necessarily mean romantically. Lexa was certain that, had she met Clarke in different circumstances, she would've wanted to be friends with her, to be close with her, because Clarke was amazing in all aspects. 

 

"You-" Lexa begins but she's cut off by the sound of her apartment door opening and Lexa quickly jumps up at the sound. 

 

"I brought the food!" She hears Lincoln's sing song voice call out as he enters the apartment and Lexa curses for ever giving the big guy a key. He stops in his tracks when he sees Lexa and Clarke, a little breathless, on the floor. Lexa glances at the clock and sees that he's dead on seven - classic Lincoln. 

 

"I'll go get the bottle opener." Lexa says standing up after noticing Lincoln was holding a case of beer - the same brand, Clarke recognised, as the one that had been in Lexa's fridge. 

 

"So," Lincoln sets the pizzas down on the coffee table, flipping the lids open, and Clarke turns to face him. "did you pick a movie?" He asks. Clarke holds up the DVD case she was holding with a wide grin and the young man's eyes light up at the sight. "Oh, you chose one of Lex's favourites." Lincoln says and Clarke lets out a howl of laughter. Lexa, who had returned just in time to catch that sentence, scowls at the pair sitting in her living room. 

 

"It is not one of my favourites." Lexa protests as Clarke puts it on - she found the whole thing completely hilarious but super adorable and maybe a little ironic all at the same time. 

 

"You used to watch that thing like five times a day." Lincoln teases nudging Lexa who had settled beside him on the couch. Clarke joins them soon after, snuggling close to Lexa, but it was so natural that the pair weren't even phased by it. 

 

"I did not," Lexa scoffs. "maybe when I was eleven." Lexa mutters and Clarke snorts. 

 

"Lexa." Lincoln gives her a look and when he does he notices how close Clarke and Lexa are to each other. "Tell the truth." Lexa falls silent plucking a beer from the case that Lincoln had brought - which she was certainly glad for because she'd need the liquor to get over her embarrassment. 

 

"You know what, Legally Blonde is a good movie and you're both being mean and unfair." Lexa grumbles picking a slice of pizza out of one of the boxes - Lincoln had gotten her favourite: BBQ chicken. Lincoln and Clarke laugh and high five each other and Lexa was regretting ever formally introducing them. 

 

**//**

  
  


Lincoln spends the better half of the night getting to know Clarke, and catching up with his best friend, when the pair eventually fall asleep snuggled into one another. Lincoln had left for five minutes to use the bathroom and when he had returned Lexa had her arms wrapped securely around Clarke, protectively, Clarke had her head resting against Lexa's chest, looking quite content, with her arms slung over Lexa, their legs were tangled together that Lincoln couldn't tell where Clarke began or where she ended - they were one. Snuggled in the perfect cocoon and, after watching his best friend suffer, Lincoln was happy that she was finally, seemingly, getting better. 

 

Lincoln grabs the blanket from the back of the couch and drapes it gently over the sleeping couple kissing Lexa softly on the top of her head affectionately before standing back up. He switches the TV off, and clears up a little, before he decides to leave. Lincoln knew that Lexa was falling for Clarke, he knew because he  _ knew  _ Lexa, but Clarke, he'd only just met her, she was harder to read, and he wasn't sure where her head was at, but she seemed to reciprocate the same feelings for the brunette - especially with the cuddling and what not. 

 

Clarke was nice, Lincoln liked her very much. She was good for Lexa: she was light hearted, fun and caring. Yet, she seemed like she could be serious when she needed to be, she was a strong spirit, as was Lexa, and they worked. Lincoln enters his own apartment and lets out a long sigh. He hoped that his best friend would recognise what she felt and do something about it and preferably soon so she could finally start living again.

 

**//**

 

Clarke blinks her eyes open and feels weirdly empty. It takes her a moment to realise why she feels this way and it's because Lexa is no longer beside her, cuddling her, like she had been certain they had been last night when they had fallen asleep. Clarke can smell the familiar scent of coffee wafting from the kitchen and the blonde sits up. 

 

The first thing she thinks is that she's wearing no pants -  _ weird,  _ since she was certain she had been last night. The next thing, is the fact that she knows her hair will probably look messy and a little crazy. She stands up from the couch, running a hand repeatedly through her hair in the hopes of maybe making it look a little less insane. 

 

She enters the kitchen to find Lexa leaning against one of the counters, one hand holding a mug of coffee while she watched the frying pan that was frying eggs and bacon simultaneously. Lexa turns her head when she hears Clarke enter and the blonde's heart speeds up when she notices Lexa's bed head and the glasses that were sitting lazily on her nose. "Did you undress me?" Clarke blurts unsure of what to say - plus she had a goddess standing in front of her so excuse her for being a little nervous from her company. Lexa just smiles at Clarke who was still trying to smooth the kinks in her hair. 

 

"You mean your pants?" Lexa asks. "Well you practically kicked them off in your sleep, I simply pulled them off your ankles so you wouldn't fall when you woke up." Lexa says in a fond tone. "I had no idea you undressed yourself in your sleep, Clarke." She teases and Clarke blushes. 

 

"In my defence, I don't normally sleep fully clothed." Clarke says defensively. Lexa points to the coffee, already sensing Clarke's growing need for it, and the brunette hops off the counter and grabs two plates to dish up the goods she had made - thank god Lincoln had food in because Lexa almost always forgot to eat and stock up her fridge. "Where did you get this?" Clarke asks taking a big gulp of coffee and sighing with the much needed boost of caffeine. Clarke figured she'd never wake up grumpy again if Lexa Woods made her this coffee every time she did. Clarke accepts the plate and Lexa sits down at the small dining table that only had two chairs. Clarke follows and sits across from her future wife bringing her coffee with her. 

 

"Normally Lincoln feeds me." Lexa admits. "I tend to forget, since I'm so busy burying myself in work, so I borrowed some stuff from him." Lexa shrugs and Clarke leans her head against the wall feeling tired. 

 

"I like Lincoln." Clarke admits taking a bite of bacon and resisting the urge to moan at the burst of flavour she gets from it. "He's a good guy." 

 

"The best." Lexa agrees. "Now you see why he's my best friend." Lexa reasons. "And Anya's my other best friend but she's a little... less likeable." Lexa says hesitantly. Anya was blunt and sarcastic, not exactly everyone's cup of coffee, but she knew Anya would like Clarke. Clarke raises an eyebrow but doesn't say much else. 

 

The couple eat in silence, Clarke nursing her bad morning mood with a good cup of coffee and even better company. Lexa was wearing an old Rolling Stones t-shirt with some boxer shorts and Clarke was wondering when the brunette had changed. Her hair was wild, even more wild than usual, but, mainly, Lexa looked hot. Usually Lexa looks hot anyway but boy did she look good in the morning. Clarke wasn't sure what it came down to, if it was her hair, or the roughness to her voice, or what, but Lexa was, one hundred percent, more attractive in the morning and she was already pretty fucking attractive. "Shouldn't you be getting dressed?" Clarke asks her eyes stopping their roaming and Lexa glances up from her plate to look at the blonde. "Court?" Lexa nods her head finishing up her food and standing from her position. She tosses her plate in the sink, along with her mug, and turns back to face Clarke. 

 

"I'll be in the shower." Lexa informs her. "Just call if you need anything." Lexa says exiting the kitchen, her hips swaying, and Clarke tries to ignore the thought of Lexa in the shower but she fails miserably. The thought of water cascading down the brunette's body - her naked body no less - floods Clarke's mind and she has to smack herself on the head to stop thinking about it. Clarke grumbles to herself, burying her head in her arms and closing her eyes for a moment in an attempt to get more sleep. She hears the shower switch on and the sound of it pattering lulls Clarke back to sleep.

 

**//**

  
  


Clarke was in a better mood once she was up awake, clean and walking into the courthouse with her fiancée. Lexa was dressed in a blazer and skirt, much like she had been the first time they had met, her wild hair was tamed and straightened, and then tied up in a tight bun to give her a sophisticated look, she was wearing her glasses, a personal request from Clarke who had claimed that they made Lexa look smarter and therefore the jury were more likely to be on her side, Lexa had rolled her eyes but worn them anyway. 

 

Lexa looked good in a blazer and skirt and Clarke was starting to entertain the idea of Lexa wearing a suit to their wedding because she could work any fabric that she wore. Seriously. This morning she had been wearing an old band t-shirt and boxer shorts and Clarke's body had been reacting in unspeakable ways and now she was wearing a blazer and skirt, and looking like a real life Laurel Lance or something, and Clarke's body was reacting the same way - maybe it had just been a long time since Clarke had been interested in someone in that way. 

 

"I'll see you in court." Lexa whispers and Clarke watches after her as the brunette meets up with another girl a few feet away and the two dive into conversation. Clarke assumed that was Echo and makes her way towards the courtroom. She was excited, she'd never been in a courtroom before, and she was actually going to see her fiancée as she worked a case. 

 

Clarke settles in the front row, straightening out her clothes so she looked presentable, she could still remember on Judge Judy when a guy had come in wearing shorts, and she'd thrown a fit at him, and had him removed, she didn't want to be that guy - Judge Judy or not. 

 

Clarke watches with a smile as Lexa makes her way down the middle, trailed by her client, and they both take a seat at the appropriate table. Clarke shoots Lexa a thumbs up and the brunette smiles slightly at the sight before schooling her expression. As Clarke understood it, Echo had been having problems with her ex boyfriend who just wouldn't leave her alone. She'd told Lexa about her problems before leaving and Lexa had advised her on getting a restraining order. Echo had only acted a couple of weeks prior to this moment, when the abuse had become too much, but Lexa had documents and receipts of his abuse and would find the hearing easily won, at least that's what she claimed, and she figured she might be able to get him a few months, maybe a more if she was lucky, for assault too.  

 

Clarke had watched Law and Order a few times but the objection, overruled and abstained lingo just flew over her head. Lexa looked majestic up there, she might not know that she exudes strength and confidence outside of the court, but  _ in  _ the court Lexa was a machine. She stood with impossibly good posture, her green eyes were hard set and serious, and she didn't falter on her feet once. 

 

The restraining order was granted almost immediately until Lexa made her case for the guy to be imprisoned for assault. Lexa presents her evidence one after one: showing multiple injuries Echo had sustained, along with Echo's own statement that, personally, broke Clarke's heart. This girl had been through alot and Lexa -  _ Lexa  _ \- was going to be the one who kept her safe. It all made sense now, why Lexa had wanted to become a lawyer, it was for people like Echo, people who were treated unfairly, people who felt unsafe, people who deserved justice and peace of mind, and Clarke fell even more enamored with Lexa's character than she had been before. 

 

Once upon a time Clarke had thought lawyers were just sharks looking for any poor soul to prey on to make a buck but Lexa wasn't like that - she cared about her clients and she strived to make them feel safe. There was no doubt, once Lexa was done presenting, that she had won.  _ Really, what could they have to argue back? _ Lexa had destroyed them. The opposing lawyer to Lexa makes some half assed excuse about how those attacks had been provoked but they weren't fooling anyone - Lexa had ripped them a new one and Clarke felt a strange kind of pride at that fact. 

 

The court was briefly adjourned and when they returned the guy was sentenced to two years in jail and Echo was allowed to extend the restraining order as much as she deemed necessary. The court dissipates and the guy is cuffed and dragged off somewhere. 

 

Clarke finds Lexa outside the courtroom wrapped in a tight hug from Echo. "Thank you so much Lexa." Echo says happily into her shoulder. Lexa rubs her back, offering some comfort to her client. 

 

"It's my job." Lexa says lightly noticing Clarke approaching. "I'm happy that it worked out for you." Echo pulls back, a grin lighting her face, she looked so happy that Lexa felt her heart swell - she'd helped someone today, she'd  _ really  _ helped her. 

 

"I know I was a pain in the ass calling you a bunch of times-" 

 

"No need to apologise." Lexa interrupts. "He won't be bothering you anytime soon and that's what matters." Lexa reassures. Clarke comes up beside her and Echo glances at the blonde curiously. 

 

"Is this the fiancée?" Echo asks and Clarke smiles wide wondering when Lexa had told Echo about her. 

 

"Yep." Clarke answers for Lexa. 

 

"Take good care of this one." Echo says nodding her head at Lexa. "She's a good one." 

 

"I know." Clarke says and Lexa blushes. "And I will." Clarke vows. Echo gives them another goodbye before she's racing out of the courthouse - probably craving the freedom she had been deprived of -  _ how had Lexa described it in court? _ \- like Echo had been locked up in a cage and left to fend for herself against a formidable foe. 

 

Lexa turns to her blonde haired fiancée and raises her eyebrows. "You did good Lex." Clarke praises. "We should celebrate." Clarke still wanted to explore all that Arkadia had to offer and, since they had Lexa's reunion  tomorrow, she wanted to spend this day with Lexa doing a bunch of city life things. Lexa chuckles and shakes her head walking out of the courthouse. 

 

"Let me change first." Lexa says over her shoulder at Clarke. "I'm sick of this skirt." Clarke grins because that was so Lexa and she wouldn't change her for the world.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're both adorkable and so in love but they don't even know it. This was so long, I swear I never meant for it to be but once I start writing this fic I have to force myself to stop. I hope you enjoyed and let me hear your thoughts in the comments below - I live for comments. And thank you for reading :)!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Just to be clear," Clarke says giving Raven a serious look. "nothing is actually going to go boom right?" Clarke asks and Raven hesitates making Lexa a little nervous. 
> 
> "I mean, I could make something go boom if you want?" 
> 
> "No!" Clarke yells and Raven rolls her eyes - where was Clarke's flare for the dramatic? 
> 
> Or Lexa goes to her reunion and Anya meets Clarke and a certain mechanic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know you guys told to not apologize for the length of chapters but this one is nearly 16k long. Anyway I hope you all enjoy this chapter :)

Lexa was back to her ordinary clothes and more than willing to show Clarke what Arkadia had to offer only she didn't really know. Lexa wasn't sociable, she hardly ever left her apartment, and, when she did, it was either for work or she was hungry, so, while Clarke was busy doing something in the bathroom, Lexa sneaks across to Lincoln's apartment - the young doctor was likely on call, and probably crashing, but Lexa desperately needed his help. 

 

She enters without bothering to knock, since they both had keys to each other's apartment, knocking just wasn't necessary. She finds the big guy passed out on his sofa, face first in a cushion, wearing scrubs, and maybe he was drooling a little bit, and Lexa almost didn't want to wake him.  _ Almost.  _ But she was an ass, and a little bit of a bitch, so she didn't really care about waking her sleeping friend. 

 

She walks around the back of the couch and leans forward slightly, watching as Lincoln took slow deep breaths, before she shoves him and he tumbles to the ground with an audible thud followed by a groan. "What the-?" He says sitting up. As soon as he sees Lexa standing behind the sofa his face falls into a scowl which was an unfamiliar expression on Lincoln's face since he was almost always smiling - he wasn't a scowler. "Lexa? What the hell?" He asks. It wasn't a surprise really, since this had happened on more than one occasion, the brunette often woke Lincoln to make her food, or when she wanted him to go get something for her, and he did as she told him because he loved her and she was like his little sister but, right now, after being on call for hours and getting next to no sleep, he was not loving Lexa so much. 

 

"Sorry Linc but I need your expert advice." Lexa says with a sweet smile. The young doctor stands up and dusts off his scrubs in annoyance. 

 

"Advice on what exactly?" Lincoln asks walking over to his kitchen - since he was awake he might as well get something to eat. Lexa trails after him as he grabs a bottle of water and leans against the counter. 

 

"You get around right?" Lexa asks and Lincoln raises his eyebrows at the brunette who was standing awkwardly by the opening of the kitchen. "I mean, you know where the good places to visit and things are?" Lexa corrects herself and Lincoln chuckles. 

 

"Lex, you've lived here the same amount of time as me, you grew up here, and you still don't know this crap?" He asks lightly and Lexa rolls her eyes. 

 

"I only went out as a teenager when Anya dragged me, I can't remember half the places my mom took me when I was younger, I spent my years in college trying to forget this place, I never leave my apartment unless necessary and, unless Clarke wants to walk around the park for the whole day, I've got nothing." Lexa retorts with her frustration showing. Lincoln gives her a soft smile and throws her the bottle of water that Lexa easily catches. She gets his message and takes a sip of water and a deep breath to compose herself. 

 

"What does Clarke like?" Lincoln asks and Lexa gives him a lost look. 

 

"What does she like?" She repeats his question and he nods. Lexa pauses for a moment as she thinks about her answer. That list was potentially endless, there was no  _ one  _ answer to that question, Lexa didn't even know where to begin. "Um, well, she's a doctor, like you, she likes country music, singing, dancing, even though she's not too good at the dancing, she's a dork, cute, she likes just about everything, movies, TV shows," A fond smile develops on Lexa's face as she wracks off everything one by one and Lincoln doesn’t fail to notice his best friend's obvious adoration for her fiancée. "she likes...  _ Art _ ." Lexa's eyes light up at that prospect and Lincoln raises an eyebrow at her. 

 

"So take her to the new art gallery that opened in town." Lincoln says nudging Lexa with his foot. 

 

"That's perfect," Lexa says with a wide grin. "but I know nothing about art." 

 

"So what?" Lincoln asks. "Just do what I do and point out the pretty colours." Lincoln jokes passing by Lexa in the doorway. "Then take her to that damn park that you love so much for a romantic stroll." Lexa frowns at that following Lincoln back into the living room. 

 

"Romantic?" Lexa asks but her denial was easily seen through. "It's not a date Linc." Lexa brushes off and Lincoln gives her a look that says he doesn't quite believe her. His pager begins beeping and he picks it up to see what it was. He groans and grabs his nearby coat that was draped over the couch and slips his pager inside his pocket. 

 

"I gotta run kid." He says messing up Lexa's hair as he hurries past her towards the door. "I'll talk to you later and you can tell me all about your date." 

 

"It's not a date!" Lexa protests but the buff guy was already hurrying down the stairs of the apartment building. Lexa lets out a huff of annoyance at Lincoln's words and decides she'll correct him later when she isn't being waited on by her fiancée. 

 

She crosses the landing and enters her apartment again to find Clarke sitting on her couch playing with her phone. A smile crosses Lexa's features at the sight of the blonde who was so absorbed in whatever she was doing on her phone to notice that Lexa had returned. Her blonde hair was falling over her shoulders, her pants were tight, and Lexa had no doubt they flaunted all of Clarke's assets, and, speaking of assets, Lexa had a pretty generous view of cleavage from the low cut shirt that Clarke was wearing. Lexa swallows thickly at that thought and scolds herself for letting her dry spell get to her. "Clarke?" Lexa asks and Clarke's head snaps up in surprise - obviously she hadn't heard Lexa enter before. 

 

"Hey, there's my big bad lawyer." Clarke says standing up. She slips her phone into her pocket on her jeans and smiles at Lexa. "I thought you'd ditched me." Clarke was obviously joking about that fact but Lexa felt like she should reassure her that that wasn't the case - that would  _ never  _ be the case. 

 

"Of course not." Lexa scoffs. "I'd never leave you alone in my apartment or I might not have an apartment left when I returned." Lexa jokes and Clarke laughs. Clarke really was something special. She was, in all aspects, all kinds of cool: jock cool, cheerleader cool, dorky cool, just  _ cool _ . She was easy to talk to and she really had that whole eyebrow thing going for her - much like Lexa with her rolling of the eyes - Clarke seemed to love to raise her eyebrow, or eyebrows, and it was sexy in the most unexplainable way. She was also quite threatening for a five foot five blonde who Lexa knew was also one of the softest most caring souls on the earth. There was just something about Clarke, maybe she had the whole intimidating thing down, but, whatever it was, it worked - plus maybe her looks didn't hurt. Lexa was fucked, in fact, she had been fucked the day she had met Clarke Griffin because that girl was irresistible. 

 

"There's a new art gallery in town," Lexa begins shaking off her thoughts, honestly, if she didn't smell of desperation and thirst then she would be surprised. "I was wondering if you'd like to go?" 

 

"That sounds cool." Clarke says grabbing her favourite bomber jacket - Lexa has to suppress the urge to whimper when the blonde zips it up and covers the pleasant view Lexa had been getting before. "It's about time you learned what a good price of art looked like." Except Lexa already did know: she was staring at one and, God, Clarke was a damn masterpiece. But she couldn't exactly say that and the room was already beginning to become suffocating from the amount of sexual tension that was rolling off the both of them. 

 

Clarke slides past Lexa and the brunette follows quickly after her because Clarke didn't know where she was going and yet Clarke, being Clarke, just liked to lead the way - even if she had no clue where she was going. "So I have my high school reunion." Lexa says falling into step beside Clarke on the stairs and the blonde looks over at her. After Clarke had forced Lexa to accept the fact that she was a badass lawyer, with a hot fiancée, Lexa had agreed to to go to her reunion. "You haven't told me much about your high school experience?" Lexa asks curiously. As far as she was concerned, being a teenager pretty much sucked. Yeah, teens were a little dramatic but with good reason: stress, anxiety and total awkwardness was bound to make anyone a little dramatic or, at the very least, moody. 

 

Clarke shrugs glancing at Lexa beside her. "Not much to tell." Clarke answers. "I was the captain of the cheer squad, I had my nerdy friends, Finn was the quarterback, all your usual stupid stereotypes." Clarke says and Lexa's attention peaks at the mention of Finn. 

 

"You're anything  _ but  _ a stereotype Clarke." Lexa assures bumping their shoulders together. "Your best friend is a genius mechanic who you met in high school,  _ hello _ , you're a doctor, most high school cheerleaders only stay within their little cheer squad bitchiness group and yet you made friend with Raven Reyes, a dork like me, and most don't move on to become doctors, unless you're like Quinn from Glee or something." Clarke smiles at that because the thought of Lexa watching Glee was both hilarious and the cutest thing Clarke had ever heard - it was also rare to hear Lexa curse so that had her smiling also. 

 

"You watch Glee?" Clarke asks and Lexa's eyes widen. 

 

"What? No. I mean, it was on one day and I just didn't turn..." Clarke gives Lexa a look. "Shut up." Lexa says scowling. That meant another one of her guilty pleasures had been revealed, first Legally Blonde and now this, Lexa might as well confess all the embarrassing things about herself to get it out of the way. 

 

They exit out of the apartment building and Lexa takes Clarke's hand who looks at the brunette curiously. "I wouldn't want you getting lost Clarke." Lexa explains and Clarke smirks. She doesn't bother mentioning the fact that they probably wouldn't get lost, that she was a grown ass woman who could follow Lexa  _ without  _ getting lost, but maybe she liked the way Lexa's hand felt in her own and maybe she didn't want to let go of Lexa's hand. 

 

"High school was high school for me." Clarke goes back to what they were talking about before. She shrugs but Lexa notices the faraway look on her face. "Do you ever feel guilty?" Clarke asks after a moment and Lexa frowns at her in confusion. 

 

"Guilty?" Lexa asks unsure of what exactly Clarke meant. The blonde bites her lip, a clear sign that she wasn't sure about what she was going to say next, or if she should say what she had to say, which worried Lexa - normally they were honest with each other no matter what. Clarke shakes her head and looks down at the ground. 

 

"It doesn't matter." She says but she says it in a way that clearly means that it  _ does  _ matter. Lexa wasn't one to push things but if something was bothering Clarke then she'd like to know what it was. Lexa felt protective of Clarke and it was her business to help her considering they were engaged. In the end it didn't matter because Clarke chose to speak anyway. "I haven't been with anyone in a really,  _ really,  _ long time Lexa." Clarke confesses. "And I know we're not together but I just keep thinking about Finn and how this was supposed to be us." Lexa smiles softly in understanding her hand squeezing Clarke's comfortingly. "I'm sorry." Clarke apologises. 

 

"Don't be." Lexa says dismissively. "I get it, Finn was your high school sweetheart, you were in love, and now you're marrying someone who isn't the person you'd thought it would be." Lexa shrugs because she did understand that, one hundred percent, in fact, she was a little guilty that the blonde who would be standing by her side at the altar would be Clarke and not Costia, but there was nothing she could do. The dead were gone,  _ Costia  _ was gone. 

 

"Lexa." Clarke stops walking halting Lexa in her steps. People passing by them glare at the couple for stopping so abruptly and Lexa just rolls her eyes at them causing Clarke to smile fondly at the sight. Once Lexa's done glaring back at strangers she focuses on Clarke with her green eyes softer than ever, concern written in the way that they shine slightly. "I'm glad I'm marrying you." Clarke breathes. Lexa smiles so wide that Clarke was proud of herself for gaining such a reaction from the reserved brunette. 

 

"Of course you are," Lexa says smugly. "I'm pretty amazing." Clarke laughs at her which causes a warm feeling to spread through Lexa's entire being. Clarke's laugh was beautiful, by  _ no  _ accounts was it rare, but it somehow always managed to hit Lexa right in the heart, every time, and she was certain she'd never tire from hearing such a noise. 

 

"You weren't kidding about that ego." Clarke replies tugging on Lexa's arm for them to continue walking. "Finn was like that." Lexa listens carefully because Clarke was opening up about Finn someone who Lexa didn't know but if Clarke had loved him then he must have been a pretty amazing guy - or the luckiest guy at least. "He was cocky enough to be considered an ass, he had good looks and even better game. People thought he was jerk and, to be completely honest, he was a little insufferable when we first met." Clarke smiles with the memory. She'd fought Finn for so long when they had first met and he'd branded her with the nickname princess and flirted shamelessly with her. "But he was more than that, he was so caring, so gentle, a side not a lot of people got to witness, he had a bright smile, he was charming and sweet and I fell so hard for him." Clarke says and Lexa remains silent because what was she supposed to say? This was uncharted territory for her and she wasn't sure if Clarke even really needed comforting, she seemed to be reminiscing more than anything, the memory of Finn made her happy, and Lexa could do little but listen. 

 

"He changed a lot from when I first met him. He did so much to help people, without asking for anything in return, he was a good guy, and I think people forgot that about him." Clarke wasn't sure why that happened, why people could only see the bad, why they had forgotten all the good that Finn had done, but she supposed that's just what people thought. Clarke always saw the good in Finn and, even if he did lose his way a little towards the end, Finn would always be her first love, her first everything, and she wouldn't trade the time she had spent with him for anything. 

 

Clarke feels Lexa squeeze her hand again and a smile finds its way to her lips. Lexa made everything feel okay, she put everything in perspective, and Clarke felt more like herself when she was with her fiancée. Lexa wasn't ready yet, Clarke could tell, sure Clarke had opened up a little more about Finn but Lexa wasn't ready to open up about Costia, not yet at least, and that was okay, Clarke could wait, and even if Lexa decided that she never wanted to talk about Costia ever again that would be okay too because Clarke cared too much about Lexa to make her do anything that would cause her pain. 

 

"He sounds like a nice guy." Lexa says quietly from beside her and Clarke nods her head tuning back into reality. 

 

"He was." Clarke pauses for a moment and Lexa turns her head to meet blue. "He would have loved you." Clarke whispers because Finn would have loved Lexa. She was certain that no one could hate Lexa  _ but  _ Lexa herself it seemed. Lexa was amazing in every way, not just her looks which,  _ damn _ ,  _ those were a gift from God _ , but also in herself and it made her sad that Lexa couldn't see that. 

 

Lexa smiles softly at the blonde and they continue on their way to, what Clarke could only assume, was the art gallery with their hands intertwined. Clarke felt lighter, there was a dull ache in her chest from talking about Finn but she wasn't breathless and she didn't feel like the world was closing in on her like it had before, well, before Lexa.

 

**//**

 

Lexa did take Lincoln's advice. She pointed out pretty paintings which looked cool, or that she thought were attractive in some kind of way, which seemed to be working but whenever Clarke started talking about tone and shading Lexa got lost and simply just nodded along. "You have no idea what I'm talking about." Clarke says with an audible laugh and Lexa gives her an offended look. 

 

"I totally know what you're talking about." Lexa protests when really she had zero clue. The bright side to not knowing anything about art was the fact that Clarke tried to explain it to the clueless brunette and Lexa couldn't get enough of the way that Clarke's eyes lit up as she explained, or the way that her hands became more animated, pointing certain features out, or the look of wonderment on her face at certain paintings. Lexa was beginning to feel like the art gallery was the best decision she's ever made and she'd visit it a hundred times over if she got to see Clarke the way she was in the gallery - knowledgeable in art or not. 

 

Yes Lexa was staring at Clarke but she just couldn't help it plus what was the big deal?  _ She was her fiancée after all plus it's rude not to look at people when they're taking _ \- at least that's what she told herself. Clarke scoffs and Lexa raises an eyebrow at her. "Please, you have no idea what I'm saying," Clarke says glancing at Lexa. "but it's okay because you're cute when you're confused." 

 

"Okay Picasso, whatever you say." Lexa teases and Clarke shakes her head but smiles anyway clearly amused by the nickname Lexa had just bestowed upon her. 

 

Lexa hadn't even realised how late it was until she glances out the window and sees the darkening sky. "There's something I have to show you." Lexa says grabbing Clarke's hand and pulling her towards the exit. Clarke's eyebrows shoot up in surprise but she follows after Lexa without protest. Another good point of the gallery was the fact that the park, that Lexa loved so much, was literally around corner. The brunette was practically running and Clarke was keeping up with her just fine giggling at Lexa's obvious enthusiasm. 

 

They slow down once they reach the tall open gates of the park but their hands don't leave each others even for a second. The park was quiet, considering it was late in the evening, there were a few dog walkers, some joggers but mainly it was just people passing through. No one even paid the couple any attention which was something that Lexa was thankful for because she wasn't one for drawing attention to herself and yet some people liked to stare or point when they saw two girls holding hands, or two boys, and it just made Lexa think ‘ _ Get over yourself _ ’. It's 2016 and people are more accepting but you still get those dumb assholes who make it their business to point out the two girls holding hands. Lexa had grown up in a time when progress had been slow, people were less understanding, less accepting, her high school had been hell but at least now people were beginning to see the light. 

 

The pair walk down the marked path laughing about something stupid that neither could really recall. There was a lake in the centre of the park, various trees and flowers, Clarke would've been happy just strolling through the centre, holding Lexa's hand, but, without warning, the brunette tugs on Clarke's hand and pulls them into some nearby bushes. Clarke wanted to make some smartass comment about how Lexa was dragging her away for a quickie or something until the bushes thin considerably and she can just make out a overgrown pathway in front of them and her curiosity was peaked. Clarke recalled Lexa telling her about a place in the park that only the lawyer knew about but she hadn't expected Lexa to bring her to it - if that was even where they were going. 

 

They climb up a steep hill that seems to be never ending and Clarke was just glad she did yoga in her spare time because it was quite the climb and her legs were quickly becoming tired. Lexa, on the other hand, seemed unaffected by the steepness: her strides were long and powerful and she looked barely out of breath - either the girl had iron lungs or she was just really fit, either way, Clarke found herself staring at the brunette in amazement. 

 

When they reach the top Clarke was certain they were in the clouds and Lexa had barely broken a sweat - not that Clarke was sweating but she was certainly a little breathless. Clarke glances around the opening and watches as Lexa walks forward and sits down on a bench that was a few feet away with a loud sigh. Clarke follows her example sitting beside the brunette and gazing out at the park below. "Wow." Clarke breathes. Lexa wasn't lying when she said that you could see the whole park from this spot: Clarke could see the lake, the tops of trees, the various winding paths in the park and she could see people milling around going about their everyday lives. She also wasn't lying about the beauty of the view. The sun was just beginning to set casting a low orange glow on the nearby skyscrapers and buildings and plunging the park in a golden light that Clarke could only explain as godly. "I think this was apart of the old park." Lexa says quietly watching Clarke as she stared straight ahead at the gorgeous view. "The one before they rebuilt it." Lexa explains. "I think they just couldn't be bothered to remove this bench and eventually it was just forgotten." 

 

"Good." Clarke hums. "This place is amazing." She says leaning back against the bench. The opening was nice, it was quiet, calm and private - kind of like a slice of the garden of Eden. Clarke was thankful that Lexa had decided to share such a hidden treasure with her because it really was beautiful. 

 

The artist side of Clarke wanted to memorise the way the city was bathed in golden light, she wanted to set up an easel in this very spot and paint the view that was right in front of her, she wanted to mix the perfect orange to match that of the sun, and she wanted to make it her muse. The practical side of Clarke told her that she should photograph it to make the memory permanent but a photograph would not do the view the justice it deserved, and neither would her painting, because it was the type of view you had to see to really be able to take in its real beauty. 

 

Clarke glances at Lexa and smiles at the sight of her. The same could be said for Lexa. She was one of a kind, beautiful beyond explanation, Lexa's beauty couldn't be written, it couldn't be painted, it couldn't be drawn, it couldn't be photographed, it had to be  _ seen _ . Seeing is believing they say and Clarke could see Lexa yet she couldn't believe her. No one should look like Lexa: it just wasn't fair. 

 

The brunette turns her head at that moment and their eyes connect. For a long moment they just stare at each other, the air becoming charged with their obvious attraction to one another, and they were both subconsciously leaning closer, in fact, they were so close that Lexa could feel Clarke's warm breath brush over her face and her eyes were already closing in preparation. 

 

Then a low rumble from the sky startles the pair of them and they jump apart in surprise. Clarke laughs, mostly to herself, while Lexa shifts uncomfortably in her seat. That was dangerous territory they almost landed in and Lexa couldn't allow herself to be drawn in like that - she had to prove she had that self control. Lexa glances at Clarke for a second.  _ What the hell was self control? Seriously _ . Clarke made Lexa lose all kinds of self control when she was around her to the point that she wasn't even sure what it was. "We should get back before it starts raining." Lexa notes because it was already drizzling plus maybe she was a little peckish. "How does Chinese food sound?" Lexa asks and Clarke grins. 

 

"Well, if you weren't already, I might ask you to marry me." Clarke responds lightly - Chinese food was her weakness. Lexa shakes her head but smiles anyway and she leads Clarke back towards the main park and hopefully home before it started pouring it down.

 

**//**

 

Lexa was leaning lazily against one of her kitchen counters trying to entertain herself until the food arrived. Clarke was in her spare bedroom on the phone to her mom because, apparently, Abby didn't appreciate her daughter leaving town without telling her. Lexa found it a little amusing that Abby would've found out from Jake and she would've paid money to see the look on Abby's face when she actually did find out. 

 

A knock on the door draws Lexa's attention away from her thoughts. She figured it was probably the food they had ordered so Lexa grabs some money and makes her way to the front door. She opens it, ready to pay the delivery guy, but who she sees isn't the delivery guy at all. Lexa stares in shock for a long moment, her mouth falling open slightly from her shock. "Are you going to let me in kid or what?" She asks raising an eyebrow. Lexa shakes her head in disbelief and her best friend snatches the money that Lexa was holding from her hand. "You shouldn't have." Anya says walking inside and ignoring Lexa's stunned form. 

 

Anya was carrying a brown paper bag in one of her arms and she heads straight for the kitchen without so much as a hello. Lexa closes the door and hurries after her childhood friend who was already placing the bag on the kitchen counter. "You know, for an average chef you always seem to forget to stock your fridge." Anya comments pulling out food. 

 

"What... what are you doing here?" Lexa asks ignoring Anya's comment although she would argue she was better than average at cooking - she wasn't five stars but she was still pretty good. Anya turns her head towards Lexa raising her eyebrows. 

 

"Our high school reunion is  tomorrow ." Anya reminds Lexa. "What? Did you think I'd just miss out on that?" She asks. 

 

"Don't you have to, like, study or something?" Lexa asks crossing her arms across her chest/ They'd been doing this dance for as long as she could remember, Anya and Lexa were practically the same person - only Anya was a little more sarcastic and blunt than the usually gentle and quiet brunette. They were both ambitious, had a cold enough exterior to scare people away, both were smartasses and both had the same philosophies as each other.

 

Anya rolls her eyes at Lexa's question and,  _ oh yeah _ , Lexa may have picked up that habit from Anya. They were different in the way that they looked, which was the only real difference to separate them as sisters, in fact, people had often mistaken Anya for Lexa's sister because the girl was so protective of Lexa. "Spring break dummy." Anya replies opening the fridge. She pulls out the box of leftover pizza from the previous night. "Why am I not surprised that the only thing you have in your fridge is left over pizza and a case of beer?" Anya asks though it was more rhetorical than anything. 

 

She begins putting the things she had bought away as though she had done this on more than one occasion and she actually had - considering Lexa was terrible at keeping her fridge stocked up. Despite Lexa's culinary skills, she always forgot to buy food and Lincoln had been feeding her since she moved out of her house with her mom and into her apartment. Lexa didn't mind that though, it gave Lincoln a reason to come over, plus the guy was an even better chef than Lexa and his waffles were to die for first thing in the morning. 

 

Anya takes a beer and uses her keys to bust the cap off of it, a skill that Lexa still hasn't mastered, every time she tried the key slipped and she ended up stabbing herself but Anya made it look effortless. "So where's the blonde fiancée?" Anya asks and Lexa ignores her question. 

 

"You can't stay here. Clarke's staying in my spare room, unless you want to sleep on the couch, there's no room." Lexa points out and Anya sips her beer watching Lexa carefully. 

 

"You mean to tell me you're engaged to this chick and you don't sleep together?" Anya asks in disbelief. Lexa shakes her head and Anya lets out a laugh though it wasn't humorous it was more of a ' _ what's up with that? _ ' laugh. "Why not?" Anya asks.

 

"Because..." Lexa falters for a moment, clearing the bag and things away that Anya had made a mess of. "It'd be weird." Lexa shrugs but that's not exactly true since she's been sleeping sleeping with Clarke practically every night. 

 

"No, what's  _ weird  _ is the fact that you don't sleep in the same room." Anya retorts. "So what exactly do you plan on doing once you're married? Sleep in separate rooms like some couple who want a divorce but they're trying to make it work?" Anya asks which was a fair point but Lexa hated to admit when Anya was right. 

 

"Lincoln has a spare room, sleep there." Lexa replies and Anya sets her beer down on the counter. 

 

"No way. Lincoln is sweet, sure, but living with him would drive me insane." Anya replies and Lexa smirks already knowing why. "How can someone be  _ so  _ nice Lexa? It's physically not possible. Honestly, he's lucky I've tolerated his big ass goofy smile for as long as I have." Anya didn't do nice, in fact, Lexa still found it amazing that Lincoln and Anya were even friends never mind the close friends they had become. It was a damn miracle. Lexa had a theory that it was because of her that the two had bonded the way they had. They were practically the tag team of dreams: Lincoln was the loving, caring, brother type and Anya was the tuff love, suck it up, sister type. Both had helped Lexa through rough patches and they continued to care for her when they really didn't have to. They were the only constant in her life, hell, Lexa wasn't even sure where she would be without them. Anya could be soft when she wanted to be, sure, it was more rare than anything but she  _ could  _ be and that's what mattered. 

 

Before Lexa can respond they're being interrupted by a blonde haired girl appearing in the doorway. "If the food was here Lex you could've tol-" Clarke's sentence falls flat when she sees that they're not alone. "Oh, I didn't know we had company." Clarke says her eyes landing on Anya. Anya smirks her eyebrows quirking up in amusement at Lexa's shuffling form. 

 

"Wow Lex, when you said she was hot I thought you were exaggerating." Anya says and Lexa almost falls over on the spot from what Anya had just said but all Clarke does is laugh. "It's nice to finally meet you Clarke. I'm Anya." Anya introduces herself. Lexa scowls at her for her previous comment but Anya isn't even phased by it. Clarke was about to reply when a knock on the front door interrupts them. 

 

"I'll get that." Clarke says gesturing with her thumb over her shoulder. She walks out of the kitchen doorway to go answer the door that was no doubt the delivery guy with their food. Lexa turns to Anya with an exasperated look on her face and Anya shrugs sipping more of her beer. 

 

"She's cute Lex. I'm proud of you." She comments and Lexa shakes her head. 

 

"Did you have to tell her that?" Lexa asks hissing at her best friend who just smirks in amusement. 

 

"What?" Anya asks innocently. "You do think she's hot." 

 

"I told you that in confidence." Lexa mutters clearly not impressed by Anya. Anya shrugs again, it's not like it was a secret anyway, Clarke was attractive, anyone with eyes could see that, Anya was just stating what wasn't as obvious: the fact that  _ Lexa  _ noticed. 

 

"I hope you ordered enough food for me." Anya says already grabbing dishes from where Lexa kept them. 

 

"Of course I did." Lexa replies. "You know I always buy more than I need." Anya nods smiling fondly because Lexa always bought more food than she could eat on her own - but it worked out because she left them in her fridge for when she wanted to eat something but couldn't be bothered to cook and Lincoln wasn't around. 

 

Clarke returns with a bag full of food and Lexa takes it from her and sets it on the counter. The three of them go about getting the food that they wanted and they're all settled on the sofa ready to begin eating when there's a knock at the door again. All three frown. Lexa stands up, considering it was her apartment, she thought it would probably be Lincoln, maybe visiting since he was on call and he had probably been in a really long surgery, but she's surprised, once again, to see a familiar looking mechanic standing outside her door. "Is it come to Lexa's apartment day?" Lexa asks frowning at the sight of her new friend. 

 

"Nice to see you too green eyes." Raven says with a huge grin. "I know I didn't tell Clarke I was coming, or you, or anyone really, but I tend to do things on a whim." Raven explains. "Oh, by the way, I totally tracked Clarke's phone, Monty's real good with computers, just in case you were wondering how I found you." Raven pats her on the shoulder as she passes by Lexa. She closes the door and follows Raven into her living room. 

 

"Raven?" Clarke asks a huge smile forming on her face. She stands up and wraps her friend in a tight hug. 

 

"Hey princess," Raven says fondly. "did you really think I'd just let you leave?" Lexa takes her seat back on the sofa grabbing her food. 

 

"What are you doing here?" Clarke asks and Raven takes off her classic red bomber jacket. 

 

"You know I've been looking to set up my own business." Raven says. "Arkadia seems like the perfect place, I mean, where else do cars break down the most?" Raven asks. "So what are we eating?" She asks and Clarke chuckles she leads Raven into the kitchen so she could get some food and Anya raises her eyebrows at Lexa. 

 

"Raven Reyes, Clarke's best friend, genius mechanic, often referred to as the ‘smart one’." Lexa fills Anya in on Raven quickly before the girls return. 

 

Clarke drops down beside Lexa who smiles warmly at her and Raven sits between Anya and Clarke. "So, I don't mean to be a total freeloader but, I have no where to stay. A  hotel would cost me money, which I don't have." Raven says and Lexa laughs. 

 

"You can sleep on my couch." Lexa replies. "Clarke has the spare room." 

 

"You two don't sleep in the same room?" Raven questions and Lexa shakes her head in answer. " _ Weird _ ." 

 

"Right?" Anya asks and Raven turns her head to look at her. Raven smiles slightly at the dirty blonde sat beside her: she had killer cheekbones, dark brown eyes, small firm lips and she was attractive, like,  _ way  _ attractive, and Raven forgets that her two other friends were sat beside her. 

 

"Hi," Raven holds her hand out. "Raven Reyes, at your service." She says with a charming smile and Anya stares at her hand and takes it a moment later. 

 

"Anya." She replies taking her hand. The pair shake for a minute and Clarke and Lexa give each other a look before returning to their meals.

 

**//**

  
  


Lexa and Clarke were standing in the kitchen after Lexa had finished washing and Clarke had finished drying. Now Lexa was standing in front of the kitchen counter, with her hands face down on top of it, she was taking a moment to just relax. It was raining heavily outside and the sound of thunder rumbled through the apartment every now and again. The loud pounding of rain was soothing in a way that only rain can be and every so often there was a flash of lightning outside. "Lexa?" Clarke's soft voice causes Lexa to open her eyes and turn around to face her fiancée. "I've been thinking," Clarke admits. "if we're to convince your classmates  tomorrow that you and I are  _ engaged  _ engaged then we have to be comfortable with each other." Lexa frowns. 

 

"I am comfortable around you." Lexa says not understanding what Clarke really meant. Clarke smiles slightly anyway because of the fact that Lexa had just admitted that she was comfortable around her - it made her feel warm and fuzzy. 

 

"No, I mean...  _ intimately _ ." Clarke clarifies and Lexa's eyes grow wide slightly. "I'm not saying we should  _ do  _ anything, I just mean, we should be comfortable touching each other, I mean, we’re engaged, it'd be weird if we just stood apart all night." Clarke says suddenly feeling very awkward. Lexa pauses for a moment, her eyes drifting around the room, she swallows thickly before focusing on the blonde in front of her. 

 

"What did... What did you have in mind?" Lexa asks and Clarke steps closer. Lexa's eyes flutter closed for a second, it felt like every nerve of her being was on fire from the close proximity they were in. 

 

"We have to pretend we're a young couple in love." Clarke murmurs. Lexa steps back a little, her back hitting the kitchen counter, she takes a deep breath and nods for Clarke to continue. Clarke wraps her arms around Lexa, her hands resting on Lexa's spine just above where the kitchen counter touched her, Clarke leans herself towards Lexa a little more until their fronts are touching but only just barely. "Is this okay?" Clarke asks and Lexa nods unable to muster up the words to answer Clarke verbally. Clarke moves her hands from Lexa's back to her shoulders, letting them rest there shortly, before her hands come up to rest on Lexa's cheeks, gently caressing the skin there, and Lexa closes her eyes enjoying the feeling of Clarke's hands on her skin which she was certain was on fire. "This?" Clarke whispers and Lexa nods her head. Clarke pulls Lexa's face down slightly and the brunette opens her eyes to see what Clarke was doing. Clarke brings Lexa's head down to rest her forehead against the brunette's and this was the closest they had been since they'd shared that kiss a month ago in that bathroom. "What about this?" 

 

"I'm fine Clarke." Lexa replies shuddering when she feels Clarke's finger move gently down her cheek. Lexa's hands rest on Clarke's hips and Clarke lets out the softest moan that Lexa doesn't seem to hear - she was far too concentrated on the rhythm of her own heart and the pounding of it. She really hoped Clarke wouldn't be able to hear it. 

 

"So," Clarke says and Lexa can hear the tinge of amusement in her voice and she can tell that Clarke was about to ask something silly. "you think I'm hot, huh?" Clarke asks and Lexa opens her eyes pulling back slightly. She could deny it but, really, what was the point? 

 

"Well yeah." Lexa shrugs. "You're quite the specimen." Clarke snorts at that. 

 

"That sentence is  _ so  _ Lexa." She comments and Lexa smiles. 

 

"Hmm." She agrees because it kind of was. "What about me?" Lexa asks and Clarke raises an eyebrow. "Do you think I'm hot?" She asks and Clarke chuckles. 

 

"You're certainly easy on the eyes." Clarke's hands wonder down so they're resting on Lexa's hips and they're left just holding each other. Lexa smiles smugly, her green eyes bright, and Clarke's stomach flips. 

 

"You know, there's something I have to give to you." Lexa says and Clarke looks at her curiously. 

 

"Hey guys-" Raven stops mid sentence when she sees the pair practically cuddling one another in the kitchen. She smirks at them and they quickly separate with Lexa shuffling uncomfortably and Clarke giving her an apologetic look. "Anyway," Clarke was so glad for Raven's ability to steamroll through awkward moments - or moments that no one actually wanted to explain or talk about. "Anya wants to talk to you guys in Lexa's room." Raven says and Lexa frowns. 

 

"What about?" Lexa asks and Raven shrugs walking out of the kitchen. Lexa looks at Clarke and the blonde simply shrugs. They exit the kitchen following after Raven who was standing, with a huge grin on her face, outside of Lexa's bedroom. Raven gestures to the bedroom and Lexa frowns at her before entering along with Clarke behind her. 

 

To say the brunette was thoroughly confused as to why the bedroom was empty, when Raven had told her that Anya wanted to talk to them in there, was an understatement. That was until Lexa understood what was happening. Before she could do anything about it the door is slamming shut and she can hear the hysterical laughter of those two idiots outside her door. Lexa spins around and Clarke was still looking confused until she seemed to understand too. The brunette pulls on the door but it's no use, someone on the other side was obviously holding it shut, or maybe both of them were, Lexa knew Anya and Raven would make the worst kind of combination. "Anya, I swear to God." Lexa hits the door with her foot and she hears a yelp, no doubt Raven's, from the other side. 

 

"Sorry kid!" She hears Anya call and Lexa rolls her eyes kicking the door again out of frustration. 

 

"Raven, open the door you asshole!" Clarke pounds on the door and all they get in response is giggles. 

 

"Doesn't matter Clarke," Lexa says walking further into her bedroom. "Anya's probably already locked herself in the spare bedroom plus I promised the couch to Raven." 

 

"So do you want me to...?" Clarke trails off. 

 

"No." Lexa says. "They're right, I don't like their methods, but they're right." Lexa says and Clarke walks closer. "We're going to be married, which means living together, and we can't exactly sleep in separate rooms." Lexa points out and Clarke had to agree - plus Lexa had become kind of like a teddy bear to Clarke she couldn't sleep without her and when she did she woke up feeling empty. 

 

Lexa pulls out a small box from her draw and sighs, she'd hastily stuffed the ring in there yesterday when Clarke hadn't been looking, she figured now might be a good time to give it to the blonde. "So listen," Lexa turns around with the box in her hands and Clarke looks at her expectantly - clearly noticing what Lexa was holding. "about that thing I wanted to give you." Clarke raises her eyebrows, and then her eyes seem to zero in on the object Lexa was holding, and her eyes widen. 

 

"Oh my God." Clarke says and Lexa opens the lid of it. 

 

"My mom told me that I should give this to you to make our engagement official." Lexa explains. "You don't have to wear it if you don't want to, I just, well, we’re engaged and I think people should know that." Lexa rushes and Clarke brings her hand up to her mouth. She steps closer and examines the ring in the box. It was beautiful, and clearly old fashioned, but what else was Clarke expecting? This was Lexa after all. "It belonged to my grandmother." Lexa explains. 

 

"I'm not sure what you want me to say? We're already engaged." Clarke asks with a small laugh. "I can't exactly say yes I’ll marry you." Clarke points out and Lexa shrugs with a small lopsided smile on her face. "Yes Lexa, I'll wear your ring." Clarke says rolling her eyes and Lexa pulls the ring from the two cushions it was sat between and takes Clarke's hand. She places the ring on the correct finger and Clarke's breath hitches. She was engaged, of course she'd been engaged before but, now it was official, people could see that she was  _ actually  _ engaged, to say she felt a little overwhelmed was an understatement. 

 

Lexa closes the box and places it back in her draw, she then grabs herself some clothes to sleep in while Clarke was left still staring at her hand in amazement. She was marrying Lexa. Lexa was marrying her. Clarke snaps back to reality when she feels eyes on her and she lowers her hand for the first time since she had had the ring placed on her finger. Lexa was smiling fondly at her clearly happy that Clarke was happy. "Um," Clarke clears her throat. "my clothes are in the spare bedroom." Clarke explains and Lexa makes an ' _ oh _ ' face. She grabs one of her old shirts and tosses it at Clarke along with a pair of shorts. Sleeping in Lexa's clothes, helping clean dishes, eating, cuddling, sharing a bed, it all felt very domestic to Clarke. 

 

"I'll change in the bathroom." Lexa excuses herself and Clarke nods. She quickly changes into the clothes that Lexa had given her and, secretly, Clarke liked the feeling that she got from wearing Lexa's clothes - even if they were old and intended to sleep in - it made her feel comforted in a strange kind of way that she couldn't really explain. 

 

She slips into the side of the bed that she liked to sleep on and she knew Lexa liked to sleep on the other side which was a weird coincidence but it made it less awakes when it came to sleeping arrangements. Lexa enters the bedroom a few minutes later wearing a t-shirt and boxer shorts like she had been this morning. She pauses at the foot of the bed for a brief moment and Clarke looks at her curiously. The brunette sighs and comes up to the side of the bed and sits down on it. "I haven't had anyone in this room since...." Lexa trails off the name  _ Costia  _ going unsaid but it was there. 

 

"I can leave?" Clarke suggests, not wanting to make Lexa uncomfortable, but she shakes her head. 

 

"No, it's fine, really." Lexa says dismissively. "It's just... weird." Lexa didn't know how to explain it - she didn't need to because Clarke understood. The brunette gets in the bed properly and Clarke's eyes train on the tattoo on Lexa's upper arm, she'd seen it once or twice before and always thought it was really pretty, the design of it was complicated and, to an artist, Clarke loved to try and figure out the patterns on it. Clarke also knew about the tattoo on the back of Lexa's neck, an infinity symbol, but she didn't know if Lexa had any other tattoos. 

 

"Do you have any more tattoos?" Clarke asks out of the blue and she tries to not cringe at how stupid her question sounded. Lexa looks at her, settling back in the bed and leaning against the headboard. 

 

"I do." Lexa answers. "On my back." Clarke stares at her in mild disbelief.  _ No way Lexa had a back tattoo. _ That seemed ridiculous. Lexa was far too, Clarke didn't want to say uptight, but,  _ yeah _ , Lexa was a little uptight, she was lawyer, in fact, Clarke was surprised she even had the arm tattoo. 

 

Lexa can see her disbelief clear on her face and shifts in the bed before she hikes up the back of her shirt. It's the most flesh that Clarke's seen of Lexa - and she's seen Lexa in a t-shirt and underwear before - and it takes her a moment to just get over that before she focuses on the black ink down the centre of Lexa's spine. Clarke twists around and studies the tattoo carefully: it was an intricate design of circles and lines and other symbols. She reaches her hand up to touch it when she catches herself.  _ Touching the bare back of your fiancée? _ Maybe Clarke was overstepping a little. "Can I touch?" Clarke asks and Lexa gives her a nod of the head - although she couldn't see Lexa's face since she had her back to her. 

 

Clarke takes hold of her shirt, to allow Lexa to relax slightly from the awkward position holding the fabric put her in, then she gently places her fingers on Lexa's spine. The brunette tenses, her back straightening out slightly at the sensation she feels shoot through her body, Clarke gently runs her fingers over her smooth skin and with every stroke Lexa seems to relax more. "It's beautiful." Clarke says a little breathlessly and Lexa chuckles. 

 

"Your fingers are cold." She comments and Clarke laughs in response pausing her movements. She stares at the design a beat longer before letting Lexa's shirt drop and scooting a little further back from her. Lexa turns back around and looks at Clarke. Outside it was still raining, along with thunder and lightning, but Clarke had never felt so content. Lexa was the calmest person Clarke knew, she made everything feel like it was okay, and Clarke figured she'd always make everything feel okay, which was why she didn't want Lexa to go anywhere anytime soon. She didn't want her to get cold feet. 

 

"Goodnight Clarke." Lexa says softly turning to switch off the lamp. The room plunges into darkness, she feels Lexa stir beside her, and Clarke turns so her back is facing Lexa. Both of their backs were facing each other, putting a lot of distance between them, but, like Clarke had said before, having Lexa with her made her feel content and calm - no matter the distance between them. Clarke closes her eyes and lets out a small breathy chuckle. 

 

"Goodnight Lexa." She whispers back and she's certain she feels Lexa's foot nudge her before she's falling asleep. 

 

**//**

 

Lexa wakes up way too close to Clarke then she had been when they had fallen asleep. They weren't exactly touching, not quite, but Lexa was only a few inches away from Clarke's face that she could feel the blonde's warm breath on her own face. Lexa scoots away quietly and exits the bedroom not prepared to wake up beside Clarke - plus she really needed to pee. 

 

Raven was sprawled out on her couch, one leg over the back of the sofa, while she was snuggled into a blanket that was practically falling off of her. Lexa chuckles at the sight and detours to the bathroom although she could hear movement in the kitchen. 

 

Once she's done in the bathroom, washing her hands included, Lexa drifts to the kitchen, to make herself some coffee, when she sees Anya already in the kitchen. Her friend looked even grumpier than Clarke does and Lexa always knew Anya was not a morning person, well, actually, Anya wasn't a people person, or really even a person of anything, her tolerance for things was pretty low. "Make me food." Anya grumps and Lexa laughs setting the coffee machine away. "I'm serious." 

 

"I know you are." Lexa says pointing to one of the seats at the small dining table. Anya sits down while Lexa goes to the fridge to grab some of the ingredients Anya had bought the previous night. 

 

"Why are you in a good mood?" Anya asks suspiciously. "Did you get some last night?" She asks and Lexa rolls her eyes grabbing the carton of eggs along with the bagels from one of the cupboards. 

 

"No." Lexa answers and Anya sighs. 

 

"Pity. What a wasted night." She comments and Lexa chooses not to respond to that. "You could do with releasing some of that tension." Anya continues and Lexa focuses on what she was doing instead of her friend who had taken it upon herself to talk about Lexa's sex life a topic she didn't much like to talk about. "Seriously Lex, when was the last time you had sex?" Anya asks and Lexa frowns. It's not like she hasn't tried to do something about it but Lexa does not have game - she usually scares anyone brave enough to talk to her off and she's not really the casual type anyway. 

 

"I don't know." Lexa replies. "Two years maybe?" Anya almost falls off of her seat. 

 

" _ Two years _ ?" Anya asks in disbelief. "Holy shit, this is the great drought of Lexa Woods." Anya knew it had been long but she didn't realise it had been  _ that  _ long. "Do you even remember how to do it?" Anya was teasing her, obviously, but Lexa was still mildly offended by the accusation. 

 

"I'll have you know that I know exactly what to do." Lexa retorts. "Plus I'm not all dried up down there, I...  _ do  _ things." 

 

"Gross." Anya comments. "I didn't need to know that." 

 

"You're the one who asked!" Lexa points out and Anya just shrugs. 

 

"I was curious." She says. "Hey, at least you won't have any STDs or anything for when you finally get with Clarke." Lexa pours a coffee for Anya and sets it down in front of her with a frown while she retrieves the frying pan. 

 

"Excuse me?" Lexa asks beginning to scramble the eggs she had gotten out before. 

 

"Oh please," Anya says. "I could cut that sexual tension with a knife. If you don't take care of that soon enough then you'll both implode." Lexa shakes her head. They remain in silence for a while as Lexa begins making the scrambled eggs - along with toasting the bagels she had gotten out before. 

 

"You're being ridiculous." Lexa comments after a long break in their conversation. "Clarke and I... I haven't... I don't-" 

 

"Save your breath kid, I get it." Anya says dismissively. "You  _ like  _ like her and you're trying to run away from your feelings, like always, by pretending they're not there." It was just like Anya to call Lexa out on her bullshit. Lexa sighs but doesn't respond because Anga was right, she did do that, but if she was doing that with Clarke she was pretty sure she'd know.  _ Right?  _

 

"What are you guys talking about?" A gruff, husky, voice, from the kitchen doorway, sounds and a warm, pleasant feeling settles in Lexa's stomach when she hears it.  _ Damn Clarke had a sexy voice. _

 

"Nothing." Lexa says quickly. 

 

"Sex." Anya says at the same time and Lexa glares at her friend who simply shrugs. Clarke sits down across from Anya and rubs at her eyes. "So, Griffin, you get around a lot?" Anya asks and Lexa swears her best friend was trying to torture her or something. Clarke just laughs, as though the question wasn't as personal as Lexa had taken it to be, and Lexa simply concentrates on the food she was making rather than scolding Anya for her inappropriate questions and straightforwardness. 

 

"I wouldn't say a lot." Clarke replies and Anya raises her eyebrows. 

 

"Last time?" Anya asks curiously and Clarke thinks for a moment. 

 

"Four months." Clarke answers. "A month before I found out I was engaged." Clarke recalls and Lexa was listening intently but she didn't want that to show. 

 

"You hear that Lex? _ Four months. _ " Anya says and Lexa flips her off in annoyance, not trusting herself to turn around to tell Anya to verbally piss off, Clarke just laughs at the gesture but Anya could see her curiosity. "Well Lexa's kind of closed shop for anyone other than herself apparently."

 

"Will you shut up?" Lexa asks because this was quickly becoming mortifying. 

 

" _ Two years. _ " Anya adds. 

 

"Tragic." A new voice comments from the kitchen doorway and Lexa recognises it as Raven. "Hey Lex, if you want, I could give you a quickie? You know, remind you of what you're missing?" Raven was clearly joking but Lexa felt herself blush anyway - Anya doesn't miss the frown that forms on Clarke’s face at such a suggestion. 

 

"No offence Raven but you're not exactly my type." Lexa responds with a light tone. Raven was hot, no doubt, but Lexa thought of her as a friend and the thought of being with Raven like that just didn't seem right to her - not in the way that the thought of being with Clarke did. 

 

"Lexa has a type?" Raven asks clearly amused and Clarke decides to stay out of the discussion by grabbing herself a coffee and settling back in her seat. 

 

"Oh yeah, she likes blondes." Anya speaks up. 

 

"Hey Clarke, you're a blonde." Raven joins in and Lexa really hated introducing Anya and Raven because those two were like the ultimate teasing smackdown team - what with Anya's bluntness and Raven's sarcasm - it was a disaster for the brunette. 

 

"Okay, you guys have made your point, you can lay off now." Clarke says. She stands up from her seat and watches Lexa who was buttering a bagel. She comes up behind her and wraps her arms around her waist. Lexa tenses at the contact for a second before easing into Clarke's warmth and touch. "Don't listen to them." Clarke whispers. "I think it's cute." 

 

"You seem to think a of things are cute." Lexa points out and Clarke steals the first plate of food from Lexa who just smiles at the action. 

 

"Only when they involve you." Clarke says and, even though Lexa hasn't turned to look at her, she knows she just winked. "Hey, do you mind if we go somewhere today? Before we go to your reunion?" Clarke asks and Lexa serves Anya and Raven, who had taken Clarke's seat, at the table before turning to face Clarke fully. 

 

"Clarke,  _ literally  _ anything to keep my mind off of this reunion all day would be great." Lexa replies and Clarke beams. 

 

"Great, then let's eat, then we can get dressed and leave." Clarke says pecking Lexa on the cheek who turns bright red - not that Clarke sees since she's already out of the door and heading to the sofa to eat. Raven and Anya give Lexa knowing smiles and looks and they looked awfully smug for her liking. 

 

"Two years." Anya reminds her and Raven grins. 

 

"Tragic." Raven repeats and Lexa grabs her own food. 

 

"Shut up." Lexa mumbles as she exits her own kitchen to eat in the living room with her fiancée.

 

**//**

 

In hindsight, Lexa probably should've asked more questions as to why Clarke was carrying her guitar case with her but with the early morning breeze, along with the light conversation and company of the blonde, she just hadn't registered it - or where they were going. In her mind they were just on a walk, Lexa didn't know that Clarke actually knew where she was going, that didn't occur to her. "I'm sorry about this morning." Clarke speaks and Lexa glances at her. "Raven and Anya I mean. I happen to think it's very sweet that you haven't had sex in a while." 

 

"It's not like I can't Clarke, I know what to do very well actually." Lexa says defensively and Clarke chuckles. 

 

"I don't doubt it." Clarke comments. 

 

"I'm just not the one night stand kind of girl." Lexa shrugs and Clarke nods in understanding. Lexa never has come off as being a one night stand type, in fact, when they had talked about sex at their dinner Clarke had come to the conclusion that Lexa valued sex and that the brunette thought that it should be between two people who truly cared about each other. "Doesn't mean I can't though." Lexa grumbles and Clarke shakes her head. 

 

"You're adorable." Clarke comments stopping them and leaning up to plant a kiss on Lexa's cheek.  _ Every time _ . Every damn time Lexa blushed from just a simple kiss on the cheek - it was a little embarrassing. "We're here." Clarke says and Lexa looks up to see the main hospital in Arkadia before them. She looks back down at Clarke who just smiles and drags Lexa inside by her hand. 

 

They walk towards the desk, hand in hand, and stop in front of the nurse there. "Hi," Clarke says enthusiastically with a bright charming smile. "I'm Dr Griffin, I'm here to visit-" 

 

"Dr Griffin, yes, Dr Jaha has been expecting you." The nurse says before Clarke can finish her sentence. The nurse waves at someone behind Clarke and the blonde turns around. A huge grin spreads across her face and Lexa turns in the same direction to see a young man, dressed in scrubs and a white jacket, giving Clarke the most adoring look she's ever see someone give someone else. It unsettles Lexa a little. This guy clearly had something for Clarke and that didn't sit right with Lexa. Clarke doesn't seem to notice and hurries towards him and wraps him in a tight embrace. The guy burrows his head in Clarke's neck and noticeably takes a deep breath of her hair. Lexa didn't like to think she was possessive, or the jealous, type but, at the same time, a part of her just wanted to slap a sign on Clarke's head that said ' _ I'm engaged to Lexa Woods' _ or some other way to tell other people that Clarke was hers - well not  _ hers  _ hers but hers. 

 

Clarke pulls back from the hug and gestures for Lexa to come over. "Lexa, this is Wells, he's my childhood best friend." Clarke says and the guy, Wells, smiles politely at Lexa. "Wells, this is Lexa, my fiancée." Wells gives her a surprised look and Lexa narrows her eyes at the young doctor. 

 

"Lexa..." He says trailing off and Lexa got the hint. 

 

"Woods." She fills in the blank and Clarke nudges her lightly. Clarke wasn't blind, she could see Lexa's obvious hostility and dislike towards Wells. Lexa tries to not think that Wells was probably going to google her later to find out all the dirt he possibly could on Lexa Woods but she wasn't exactly anyone - the only he'd find was her business website and maybe even her Facebook - Lexa was  _ that  _ significant and who knew how many Lexa Woods's there were out there. 

 

"Right, well, follow me." He waves for them to follow and Lexa scowls after him. Clarke takes Lexa's hand, pulling her out of her hostile mood, and Clarke squeezes her hand gently. 

 

"Wells used to have a crush on me." Clarke whispers quietly as she pulls Lexa to begin walking. 

 

"I hate to tell you this but it seems he still does." Lexa replies lowly. 

 

"Are you jealous?" Clarke asks raising her eyebrows a teasing grin on her face and a teasing tone. Lexa scoffs as if that was the most ridiculous thing Clarke has ever suggested. 

 

"He smelt your  _ hair  _ Clarke," Lexa replies as though that was evidence enough to prove her point. "why would he smell your hair?" 

 

"Maybe I smell good?" Clarke suggests with a shrug making sure they manage to keep up with Wells while being a safe distance to talk to Lexa privately. 

 

"You do." Lexa says it before she has a chance to realise what she's saying. "I just mean, he shouldn't be smelling you, that's-" 

 

"Your job?" Clarke asks lightly. 

 

"This isn't funny Clarke." Lexa grumbles and Clarke laughs shaking her head. "Relax Lex, we’re just friends, Wells would never jeopardise our friendship for something so stupid." Clarke reassures and Lexa relaxes slightly. "Besides,  _ you're  _ my fiancée, I don't want to be with anyone other than you." Clarke says and Lexa smiles wide at that her stomach warm from the blonde's words. "It just wouldn't be...  _ morally  _ right." Clarke adds and Lexa feels her stomach drop. So Clarke wouldn't be with anyone out of obligation not because she wanted to be with  _ Lexa?  _ that stung a little,  _ not a little _ , _ a lot.  _

 

Lexa doesn't reply and they follow Wells into the elevator as he presses the button to go up to whatever floor they were going to. "The kids are really excited to see you." Wells says and Lexa frowns. "I told them that Dr Griffin, the brain doctor, will be singing for them." Wells chuckles and Clarke laughs along with him. Lexa was curious now and she looks at Clarke to explain. 

 

They step off the elevator and follow after Wells again. "Wells found out I was in town and asked if I wanted to stop by to sing a few songs for the kids." Clarke explains. "My mom funds a bunch of clinical trials across the county and she has her hands in pretty much everything medical, in fact, I think she donated money to upgrade this very floor." Lexa nods impressed by Abby's dedication to the medicine world - apparently it went beyond just being a successful doctor. 

 

They stop in the doorway of a room that had been made into a playroom for the children staying there. There were already kids waiting there and when they see Wells they all start shouting excitedly. "Alright guys, how about we all take a seat?" He says with a chuckle.. Clarke makes her way into the room and Lexa hovers in the doorway before leaning against it. She watches Clarke in amazement as she greets the kids with such a bright smile. She pulls out her guitar and the kids look at Clarke in such awe - something that Lexa and those kids had in common. Everyone of them was sick in some kind of way, some obvious, some not, some more serious than others, but all of them were happy, they were happy that Clarke was there, and that was when Lexa realised why Clarke was a doctor, sure, she was caring, attentive and she always wanted to fix things but, Clarke wanted people to feel good, she wanted people to be happy, and being a doctor gave her the power to make people happy. Of course Lexa knew being a doctor wasn't always sunshine and rainbows, people die - she watches Grey’s Anatomy - but Clarke would take that little bad for the good that being a doctor does and Lexa could see that from simply watching her interact with the children. 

 

Lexa was listening to Clarke sing to the kids -  _ of course it was country _ \- and a smile manages to makes its way onto her face. Lexa wasn't really paying attention to her surroundings so when she hears someone step beside her she's a little startled. Somehow a kid had managed to get away from the crowd surrounding Clarke, who were singing along and laughing, he was young, maybe twelve, maybe thirteen, he had blonde hair, blue eyes and for a young kid he looked quite handsome - he was clearly going to be quite the looker when he was older. "Are you a doctor too?" He asks and Lexa glances down at him and then at Clarke and then back to the boy. 

 

"No." Lexa laughs softly - she was smart but she wasn't  _ that  _ smart. "I'm a lawyer." She explains and he plays with the cast that was on his arm. 

 

"That's cool." He comments. "I hate doctors." He mutters and Lexa laughs again. At his age she used to hate doctors too, there's nothing scarier than going to the dentist or going to see the doctor when you're a kid, even as an adult Lexa still managed to get a little nervous. Lexa's eyes flit to Clarke who was ticking a child under the chin gently with a fond smile. 

 

"They're not all bad." Lexa replies and the boy watches her carefully. 

 

"You love her." He stated it - _ not a question _ \- and it takes Lexa by surprise. 

 

"What?" Lexa asks. She frowns. 

 

"I can tell." He says ignoring Lexa's obvious confusion. "You're totally giving her heart eyes." Lexa scoffs. 

 

"What does that even mean?" Lexa asks and the boy just smirks. "What's your name?" Lexa asks. 

 

"Aden." He replies sticking his good arm out, Lexa smiles and takes it. 

 

"Aden, that's a good name, a strong name." She says and Aden grins proudly puffing his chest out a little more. "Alexandria but you can call me Lexa." Lexa wasn't sure why she told the kid her whole name but she liked him - he was like a mini version of herself. She releases the boy's hand and he glances over at the crowd of other kids. 

 

"I want to be a lawyer when I'm older." Aden admits. "Or something to do with the law." Lexa smiles and ruffles his hair playfully. 

 

"I'm sure you will." Lexa says and he nods. He takes Lexa's hand again, and pulls her towards the crowd, and Clarke looks up when she sees her approaching with the boy clutching her hand. She smiles at the picture of Lexa and the boy, she didn't look uncomfortable, and a part of Clarke knew that Lexa would make a great mother, she was good with kids, she knew that much from a simple hand holding. 

 

"Lexa's a lawyer." Aden says proudly and the kids all aw at her and Lexa becomes flustered from the attention. Clarke chuckles at Lexa and one of the kids look up at her. 

 

"Do you put the bad people away?" They ask and Lexa nods her head. Clarke smiles fondly at her as she interacts with the children, they loved Lexa, hell, some were even beginning to climb into her lap, and all the brunette could do was laugh and joke with them. Maybe Clarke hadn't intended to but she'd put everything into perspective for Lexa. She'd been so worried about her high school reunion and now it just seemed so insignificant. No matter what, people always had it worse than you, all these kids were in hospital for a reason, and here Lexa was worrying about going to a crappy high school reunion, which would literally require her to drink and hold her fiancée's hand, that was nothing, it was pathetic that Lexa thought it was so hard. These kids had given her the courage to grow a backbone and holding two on her lap, with Aden beside her, while Clarke resumes her playing, really put everything into perspective. Lexa was ready.

 

**//**

 

That's how Lexa got to this point, standing outside her old high school building, dressed in a light grey button down shirt, tucked into skinny black jeans, with a belt, boots, her hair down and curly and her leather jacket, that Clarke had insisted that she wear, sitting on her shoulders. Clarke was stunning, as always, in her dress and heels and Lexa had had a hard time not staring at her as they drove to the reunion. 

 

They get out of the car and Lexa takes a deep breath staring right ahead at the building. People were walking in, not even noticing Lexa but that was probably due to the fact that she was stood a fair distance from the crowd. "You should probably do something." Clarke says in amusement from her side. Lexa takes her hand and Clarke stares at their interlocked hands with even more amusement. "What is this? The 1950's?" Clarke asks and Lexa frowns. 

 

"I hardly think this was socially acceptable in the 1950's." Lexa comments and Clarke rolls her eyes. 

 

"Fine, what is this? The fifth grade?" Clarke rephrases her question. "Lexa," She pulls the brunette closer to her. "you can touch me. We’re supposed to be getting married, you shouldn't  _ want  _ to let me go." Clarke says lightly as she wraps Lexa's arm around her waist as she does the same. Lexa nods and they begin walking towards the building. "So, I have a question." Clarke begins. "Kissing?" 

 

"Kissing?" Lexa asks raising her eyebrows. People who were entering the building were glancing at the couple curiously but none seemed to recognise Lexa which didn't surprise her - when she had been in high school she'd worn thick glasses and she had definitely not looked the way she does now. 

 

Anya had gone ahead taking Raven as her plus one - claiming that Clarke would need her best friend in case she got tired of Lexa but Lexa had a feeling that there was something else there. Lexa wasn't sure if Lincoln was available for the reunion, since she hadn't talked to him all day, so he was a question mark. "Are you comfortable with that?" Clarke asks nervously. Lexa thinks about it for a moment, kissing Clarke certainly hasn't been unwelcome before, in fact, she'd liked it very much, but kissing Clarke while she's drunk in a bathroom and then soberly kissing her were two very different things. 

 

"That should be fine." Lexa says and Clarke nods her head. 

 

They enter the building together and stop to grab their name tags that were on offer. Lexa leads Clarke towards the gym, where the event was being held, and it was weird that Lexa could still remember the way there. Clarke was close, closer than she has ever been before, and Lexa was finding it hard to regulate her breathing. 

 

They enter the gym and the door closes behind them. A few people near the entrance notice them but mostly people were far too engrossed in whatever they were talking about to pay them too much attention. Lexa takes a deep breath, she wasn't sure what she had been expecting, for people to burst out laughing the second they saw her? Maybe some pointing? Maybe some casual insulting? Lexa wasn't sure but she was relieved that people were ignoring her, in fact, it was a little underwhelming. "Thank god there's an open bar." Lexa breathes and Clarke chuckles. 

 

"I guess I'll be the DD." She says and Lexa smiles at her. 

 

"Maybe not." Lexa replies. 

 

"Tequila." Clarke says the one word and Lexa rolls her eyes. She kisses Clarke softly on the forehead - _ for their act of course _ \- and then she walks towards the makeshift bar that had been set up in the corner of the gym. She orders Clarke her tequila and makes the executive decision that she wasn't going to drink tonight - she was already nervous alcohol would just make it worst. 

 

Lexa accepts the the drink from the bar tender, and goes to return back to the safety of Clarke, when she turns on her heel she freezes completely. Standing beside her, quite obviously checking her out - which was,  _ hello _ ,  _ gross  _ \- was one of the last people Lexa wanted to see tonight. Roan Queen. He hadn’t changed much, other than his hair was longer, he still had the same douchey smile, he was dressed in a suit, no tie, and he was looking quite successful - much to Lexa's disappointment. His eyes widen in surprise before he offers Lexa a smile. She doesn't return it, she's far too stunned to even respond, and Roan didn't really deserve a response from her. "Lexa Woods?" He asks squinting at her name tag. "Wow you got-" Lexa clears her throat and he gives her an apologetic look - something she hadn't been expecting. "Sorry." He says. His voice was gruffer than it had been when he was a teenager and he shifts uncomfortably. 

 

Lexa jumps when she feels arms wrap around her waist until she recognises the soft familiar touch of her fiancée. Clarke rests her chin on Lexa's shoulder and whispers a barely audible ‘ _ are you okay _ ?’ into her ear. Lexa nods ever so slightly and Roan raises his eyebrows. "Roan, this is my fiancée, Clarke." Lexa says tensely and Clarke moves around her but keeps her hands still around Lexa's waist. Lexa hands Clarke the tequila who smiles happily. 

 

"Clarke Griffin." Clarke corrects and Lexa doesn't understand why Clarke bothered to say her full name until Roan is gaping at them. Maybe she missed the memo or something because normally a name didn't gauge a reaction like that. 

 

"Griffin? As in Griffin Incorporated?" He asks and Clarke nods her head and then Lexa understood: Clarke was boosting Lexa's ego, making her seem even better than what she actually was. "Wow, that's... wow." Roan whistles appreciatively. "Good for you Lexa, makes a difference from when you were in high school, huh?" He asks and Lexa scowls. 

 

"My future wife is a very successful lawyer." Clarke continues to prevent Lexa from saying something too damaging. 

 

"I didn't take you as a lesbian." Roan says a little forwardly and Clarke frowns. 

 

"I'm not." Clarke replies which clearly confuses Roan. "Have you ever heard of bisexuality? I swear to God, you're-" 

 

"Okay!" Lexa interrupts, finally snapping back to reality, she wraps her arms around Clarke's waist and begins pulling her away from Roan who was staring in surprise. Clarke Griffin was a fiery one and someone who should not be messed with. 

 

"Clarke, relax." Lexa says softly once she had managed to pull the blonde into a corner where no one was standing. 

 

"Sorry, it's just, people like that really piss me off, they just assume I'm gay." Clarke says. "I'm not, not really, you know? And it's just...  _ urrgh _ ." Clarke fumes and Lexa was beginning to think maybe this wasn't just about that. Lexa smiles softly at her and hums in agreement, to calm Clarke down, she leans closer to her and rests her hands on her waist. 

 

"Relax." She murmurs against Clarke's forehead where her lips were skimming over. "There's an open bar and we have all night to get all kinds of drunk." Lexa says and Clarke laughs relaxing in Lexa's embrace. "So how come I didn't know you owned some big company?" Lexa asks and Clarke shrugs. 

 

"You never asked." She answers. "Because you don't care about things like that. You're not interested in my money." Clarke clarifies and Lexa nods her head - no, she wasn't interested in Clarke's money, she was interested in  _ Clarke _ . 

 

"Now how about another tequila and you can parade me around like I'm a trophy fiancée?" Lexa asks lightly. 

 

"Wait." Clarke says reaching up to grab Lexa's face in her hands. She pulls the brunette down onto her lips and Lexa's a little stunned at first to react but her mind quickly catches on and she's kissing Clarke back with passion. The kiss was meant to be quick, it was supposed to be a reassuring, don't worry, we've got this, kiss, but it turns into something much more. Something has changed. Clarke feels it. Lexa feels it. Lines are blurring, things are changing, and, if the sensations in Lexa's stomach were anything to go by, the change is dangerous and powerful. 

 

They were kissing each other like it was their first time, like they were getting to know each other all over again, Lexa could taste the slight tinge of the tequila that Clarke had had before but she was far from drunk. This kiss meant something. Lexa's tongue swipes across Clarke's bottom lip and the blonde pulls away.  _ That was probably a bad idea,  _ Lexa admits, _ way to scare her off. _ Lexa just got way too into that and she curses herself for being so weak. 

 

"Roan was watching." Clarke offers an excuse but she was lying, Roan wasn't watching, at least, he hadn't been, but now he certainly was. Lexa nods and Clarke offers her a smile. "You're a good kisser Woods. Keep that up and it might not be your last." Clarke winks and, yes, she might be shamelessly flirting with her fiancée but she just couldn't help it. Lexa watches after her, still breathless from their kiss, before smirking quietly to herself. Two years and she's still got it.

 

**//**

 

Talking about yourself can be exhausting. Lexa wasn't even sure how she had managed to talk about herself so much. Clarke had been the perfect fiancée, pitching in every now and again when she needed but, ultimately, leaving it up to Lexa to show off her lawyer threads and beautiful fiancée. She could tell a number of people were jealous, most were impressed and others, well, others didn't really care but that was bound to happen. 

 

The funny thing was that most of Lexa's talking revolved around Clarke, every second she got she mentioned Clarke, who was attached to her side, but if Clarke noticed she didn't say anything, in fact, Clarke actually liked that Lexa talked about her so much. There had been a meal which had been kind of cheap which was probably because most of the budget had been spent on supplying the alcohol for the open bar - which Raven seemed to making the most of. Lexa had spotted Anya and Raven sitting in a corner, at some point, talking and she'd even seen Lincoln around in his scrubs. Lexa nods her head when she realises she's being talked to before excusing herself and Clarke from the conversation. 

 

They gravitate towards the table that Anya, Raven and Lincoln were all sitting around except there was only one spare seat. So Lexa sits down and taps her leg for Clarke to come sit on and the blonde grins settling herself there. She wraps her arms around Lexa's neck and throws her legs over her body to get herself comfortable. "No more talking." Lexa complains and Clarke laughs. 

 

"People have been talking about you all night Lex." Lincoln comments sipping what looked to be whiskey. Lexa reaches her hand out and takes a sip from his glass -  _ one  _ sip wouldn't affect her driving - she hands it back to him once she's done. "And Clarke, do you have any idea how pissed Roan is?" Lincoln chuckles. 

 

"Who cares? He was a total ass to Lexa back in the day." Anya almost growls and Clarke understood why she was the scary one. Raven didn't even seemed phased by Anya's murderous look and she simply laughs. 

 

"So what happened?" Raven asks curiously. "I mean, don't share if you don’t want to but, what did this Roan guy do to you?" Raven asks and Lexa leans her head further down so it was resting against Clarke a little more. 

 

"Which story do you want?" Lexa asks and Raven whistles. 

 

"That bad huh?" Raven asks with a sympathetic look on her face. 

 

"Tell her about the football field one." Lincoln suggests and Lexa sighs. Clarke listens carefully and plays with the collar of Lexa's button up as she begins explaining her story. 

 

"Homecoming, junior year, I got a message in my locker telling me to go to the football field after school. The note was signed ‘your secret admirer’ and it was even written in pretty handwriting which I later learned Roan had paid some girl to write." Lexa explains. "I was sixteen, stupid and I was feeling lonely, so I figured what was the harm?" Lexa shrugs trying to refrain from grimacing at her stupidness. "So I went out onto the field, after school, and I waited. I was actually about to give up... when the sprinklers turned on." Lexa says and Clarke stops her fiddling with her collar and stares at Lexa who was frowning at the memory. "I got soaked to the bone and by the time I had made it across the field Roan and half the school were standing there laughing at me. I looked like a damn cat caught in a rainstorm." Lexa says feeling completely humiliated all over again. "You know, carrying five textbooks while running through water isn't exactly helpful. They all got ruined." Lexa complains. "And I was wearing glasses. My pride was hit pretty bad that day." Lexa continues and Clarke wanted to make Lexa feel better, to make her forget, but she didn't really have a plausible excuse for trying anything. "After that I went to boxing, I got fit and healthy and made sure I could defend myself if the teasing and bullying ever got too out of hand." 

 

"That's awful Lexa." Clarke says and Lexa shrugs. 

 

"I survived." She replies. "I'm stronger for it too." Clarke really did find Lexa amazing - she’d been through so much. Lexa gives her a reassuring smile and Clarke returns it. 

 

"You know," Raven speaks up and Clarke can recognise that mischievous glint in her best friend's eyes anywhere. "we could get him back, if you feel like it?" Raven suggests and Anya smirks liking this new turn of events. Clarke gives Raven a disapproving look but the girl just gives her her classic childish smile that she was so well known for. 

 

"What did you have in mind?" Lexa asks and Clarke gives her a shocked look to which she just shrugs at. Raven grins evilly and rubs her hands together in a ridiculous Disney villain way. 

 

"We use blondie over here to charm the pants off him, we stage it to look like flirting whenever you're not looking, then me, with my fantastic mechanical expertise and good looks, will rig the sprinklers right up on that field, hell, maybe even the football lights just to add a little more flare." Raven says and her grin only widens - if that was even possible - plus Roan would be blinded by the bright lights in the dark for a moment. "Then, with Clarke's superior game, she'll tell Roan to meet her out on the field then, boom. Dude wets his pants and the whole of his obnoxious rich suit." Raven finishes, sitting back, clearly impressed with her plan. 

 

"Just to be clear," Clarke says giving Raven a serious look. "nothing is  _ actually  _ going to go boom right?" Clarke asks and Raven hesitates making Lexa a little nervous. 

 

"I mean, I could make something go boom if you want?" 

 

" _ No _ !" Clarke yells and Raven rolls her eyes -  _ where was Clarke's flare for the dramatic? _ Lexa's grip on Clarke tightens for a moment and the blonde looks at her curiously. 

 

"I just," Lexa pauses. "I don't want you to flirt with him... he's not exactly pleasant." Lexa says. 

 

"I'll be fine," Clarke assures. "but only if you agree to this." She wanted to be sure that Lexa was on board with this plan and that she was okay with it all. 

 

"Blood must have blood right?" Lexa asks raising her eyebrows. 

 

"More like water must have water." Raven snorts and Anya rolls her eyes. Raven Reyes was a huge dork, a cute huge dork, but whatever. 

 

**//**

 

Clarke did flirt with Roan and, as a team, they positioned it perfectly so it looked as though Clarke only did it when Lexa wasn't paying attention. Lexa mingled with more people but the only real bully who had tortured Lexa that was here was Roan. Sure there were students who witnessed it but never said anything but Lexa didn't blame them - she probably would've done the same out of fear. Roan, apparently, was the only successful bully, since no one from his gang had bothered to show up, or maybe they were still too cool for school. 

 

Clarke slips the note in Roan's front blazer pocket, after a sly stroke of his muscle, which she had to refrain herself from gagging at, before she drifts back over to Lexa who wraps her arm around her shoulder. Clarke winks at Roan and he removes the note to read it. In no time he's heading towards the exit and Clarke's rolling her eyes at how desperate he must be, or maybe he still wanted to torture Lexa by sleeping with her fiancée, but, either way, Clarke thought Roan was a dick. "The eagle has left the nest." Raven says down the earpieces that she had supplied them all with. Lexa had known Raven was strange when she had first met her but, really, who carries earpieces around with them for the chance that occasions like this might come up? They all had code names, given to them all individually by Raven, Anya was cheekbones, Lincoln was teddy bear, Clarke was been there done that and Lexa was wish I was doing that - they were stupid but they were so Raven - and then Raven was to be referred to as R-dog - again, pretty stupid. "The eagle has landed. Been there done that and I wish I was doing that get into position." She says and Clarke and Lexa rolls their eyes at each other but head towards the exit anyway. 

 

They exit, leaving the doors wide open, Lexa didn't realise how hot and stuffy it had been in the gym until she was outside. Clarke was holding her hand as she led Lexa forward. They could just make out Roan's dark silhouette standing in the middle of the field. "Clarke?" He calls and then the field is flooded with light from the tall fluorescent game lights and everyone is momentarily blinded. Former students inside the gym notice the commotion and begin filing out of the exit and then the sprinklers start and Lexa's never felt so much joy at hearing a grown man squeal as cold liquid hits him from all directions. 

 

He begins running, but he's obviously still disorientated from the light, and he slips and falls face first into the grass. The gathering crowd begin to laugh and Lexa just watches calmly, not laughing but smiling, but that was mainly due to the fact that Clarke was standing against her side giggling into her leather jacket. Roan stands back up and sprints forward and reaches Lexa. He glares murderously at Lexa and she simply gives him a level stare. He flips his long hair back flinging water everywhere. " _ You _ ." He points directly at Lexa. Anya and Lincoln come up beside Lexa and Lexa feels her confidence grow, she wasn't alone, she had her friends, she had  _ Clarke _ , high school sucked but she wasn't living it anymore. 

 

"Karma's a bitch, right dick head?" Anya asks crossing her arms across her chest. Roan growls at her and begins stripping off his blazer. 

 

"This is a hundred dollar suit!" He yells in frustration. "It has to be dry cleaned!" 

 

"Well it just got Raven Reyes's sprinkler express." Raven appears in the crowd twirling a wrench that Lexa didn't even want to know where she got it from. "You're welcome." She adds with a grin and he lets out another growl. He pushes through the crowd who part to avoid a dripping wet businessman who looked like a five year old. Lexa, Anya, Lincoln, Raven and Clarke burst out laughing once he's gone and Clarke nods her head in approval because that was worth it seeing, Roan got what he deserved, it felt good so she knew it felt good for Lexa too. 

 

Lexa gets an idea and takes Clarke's other hand so they were facing each other with both their hands interlocked. "Clarke." She says softly her green eyes so pretty, twinkling with the white light of the game lights and the sprinklers were still going. Clarke looks at her curiously before she feels Lexa push her, gently, backwards so that she steps back into the sprinklers. The crowd gasps in shock and even Clarke gasps at the coldness. Lexa just smirks, clearly impressed with herself, and Clarke shakes her head. 

 

" _ You jerk _ !" Clarke yells with a laugh. "Oh hell no, now you're going to get soaked." 

 

"Make me." Lexa teases and Clarke pounces forward, grabbing Lexa's wrist with lightning speed, and pulling her into the torrential downpour of the sprinklers instantly soaking her. The pair laugh at one another, someone, probably Raven, starts playing music and one by one other couples join in dragging each other into the sprinklers and just letting loose. 

 

Lexa spins Clarke around, the blonde giggling as she does so, she twirls Clarke until she's facing her and then she stops, staring at Clarke in that way that Lexa always seems to look at her now. Clarke couldn’t place it but there's  _ something  _ in that look. Lexa brings her fingers to Clarke's chin and lifts her head up slightly. She gazes into her blue eyes feeling joy course through every fibre of her being. Lexa was glad she had met Clarke Griffin and Clarke was glad she had met Lexa Woods. 

 

Lexa wants to kiss her, she does, it’s all very cliche but, she wants to kiss those lips more than she's ever wanted to kiss anyone else's lips. Instead, Lexa just smiles wide at her and wraps her arms tightly around Clarke's waist pulling her close so they could both waltz to the music as the sprinklers continued to soak them. Lexa was happy. Clarke was happy. 

 

Raven looks at Anya from the sidelines of the field, where the couple was slow dancing in the middle of the crowd that had joined them, and she chuckles. Anya looks at her curiously and raises her eyebrows for Raven to elaborate. "Are you going to tell them or am I?" Raven asks and Anya looks back at the pair. 

 

"Let them figure it out." Anya decides. 

 

"They're idiots in love." Raven smiles at them and Anya smirks taking that as her opportunity. She shoves Raven forward and the brunette stumbles and lands in the sprinklers. She whirls around clearly amused. "Jokes on you asshole," Raven calls. "I'm not wearing a bra and you can totally see through my shirt!" Anya's eyes widen. Raven winks before taking off and Anya rushes forward stopping at the very edge of the field. 

 

"Reyes, get back here now!" Anya yells. "You should cover up-  _ Reyes _ !" Anya rolls her eyes before running into the field for Raven. Everything was okay, at least, for now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are changing. I guess they were just 'playing the part' but we all know that isn't true ;) Let me know what you think and thank you for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Raven's awake." Is all Lexa responds with and Clarke drops her head in the pillow again letting out a long irritated groan. 
> 
> "Raven is so annoying." Clarke complains. 
> 
> "You're her best friend, I’m sure you don't mean that." Lexa replies watching Clarke who was sprawled out on her bed. 
> 
> "No, no, I don't, but, right now, when I want to sleep, I do." Lexa rolls her eyes again and throws another pair of socks at Clarke which causes her to sit. "Fine, I’m going, there's no need to assault me with socks." 
> 
> Or the one where Abby tells Clarke to get her ass back to Polis and Lexa's having a rough day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know this took a while to update but it's here and it's extra long just for you ;) Things are starting to shift and Clarke and Lexa are beginning to sense that things aren't as platonic or as simple as they both once thought they were. Have fun reading this chapter and now that I've finished all my exams and left school I'll probably be able to update quicker - although don't quote me on that! Enjoy!

After the reunion, the young adults manage to get home with Clarke complaining that her seats would be ruined from their wet bodies but she had soon shut up when Lexa had switched the radio on to appease her. When they'd gotten back to Lexa's apartment they'd fallen straight into bed and fell instantly asleep from exhaustion. Lexa had certainly never had more fun in her life than she had had last night. She'd turned one of her worst high school memories into a high school dream -  _ who doesn't dream about slow dancing with a beautiful blonde while being drenched in water? _ \- so it made sense as to why she had passed out the second her head had touched the pillow. Clarke had been along for the ride too and her exhaustion was mainly due to alcohol consumption and flirting with a dirtbag for half the night. 

 

That was how the pair of them had ended up sleeping the second they got in and it was why, when Clarke woke up, they were tangled in each other's limbs. It was unusual at first, Lexa was normally the one who woke up first, not Clarke, and it took Clarke a second to realise why she had been woken from her deep sleep. Lexa was stirring, her leg kicked out and her breathing was ragged and uneven. 

 

Clarke sits upright and stares at the brunette who was mumbling and, once there was space between them, Lexa was tossing and turning. "No." She says and she sounds so pained  _ \- so hurt  _ \- that Clarke's heart stops in her chest and all she can do is stare at Lexa wondering what the hell she should do. "Costia?" Lexa whimpers. "No. Liar.  _ No _ ." Lexa murmurs. Clarke was frozen, she wanted to wake Lexa, to do  _ something _ , but her mind was blank. She was frozen with worry, with shock, and she wanted to act but she didn't know how -  _ she didn’t know _ . 

 

Lexa sits upright abruptly, drawing a deep gasp in, her eyes fly open as she takes in her surroundings, her breaths were still irregular and it takes Clarke two seconds to unfreeze and realise that her fiancée was hyperventilating. "Hey, hey, hey." Clarke says shuffling so she could hold Lexa's face in her hands. Lexa looks at her with wide frightened eyes that were threatening to spill tears, her breaths slow down slightly, though they were still deep and uncontrolled. 

 

"Clarke?" She asks smally, slightly confused, broken even, and Clarke had never heard Lexa speak in such a tone.

 

"Yeah," Clarke smiles reassuringly, still cupping her face to let Lexa know she was there. "It's okay, you're okay, I'm here." She says softly and Lexa collapses into her, burying her head and letting her tears fall. Clarke just holds her tightly, letting Lexa release all of her emotions through her tears. Lexa's hold on Clarke was strong, in fact, it was almost bone crushing, but Clarke didn't mind; she hugged Lexa back with equal force to let her know that she was there for her and that everything was okay. 

 

They stay like that for a long moment, with Clarke drawing comforting circles on Lexa's back as she held her and, once Lexa's breathes were back to normal, the brunette pulls away and sits back against the headboard, bringing her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her head on her knees. Clarke watches her for a moment as the brunette, quite obviously, wipes tears from her eyes and takes shaky breaths in. "So," Clarke speaks hesitantly, unsure of herself around this new Lexa. "do you want to talk about it?" Clarke asks gently. Lexa looks at her her, green eyes red rimmed and her hair messy but she still managed to look god damn beautiful. 

 

"I-" Lexa chokes on her words before shaking her head. "It's stupid." Lexa finally says with her voice cracking slightly. Clarke crawls up the bed and sits beside Lexa. Anything that upset Lexa was not stupid, anything that caused her pain was not stupid, anything that made her cry and whimper was not stupid, anything that gave her nightmares was not stupid- 

 

"You can tell me." Clarke says softly. "I won't judge." Lexa brings her head up and lets out a long sigh. Her breaths were back to normal now, she still looked a little spooked but nothing like she had before. "You said Costia in your sleep." Clarke murmurs quietly and Lexa closes her eyes for a second. 

 

"Costia and I used to live together in our own apartment near campus." Lexa explains. "When she was in the accident," Lexa swallows thickly - as though that word alone pained her. "the police visit the last known address and we'd been living together for a few years." Lexa continues. "They showed up at the door and told me Costia had been in an accident, dead upon arrival, and I didn't- I didn't believe them. I was angry, I didn't understand why." Lexa was shaking slightly and Clarke takes a deep breath. 

 

"That's what you were dreaming about." Clarke realises - it wasn’t a question, it was a statement - Lexa had dreamt about the night that she had found out about Costia's death. Lexa nods her head and Clarke recalls the words she had uttered in her sleep.  _ Liar. _ The brunette had been in denial that night - something Clarke had experience in.

 

Lexa rubs her face, and takes a deep breath, before pushing herself out of bed. "I told you it was stupid." Lexa says - she looked slightly pale, compared to her normally tanned complexion, and she was still sweating slightly. 

 

"It's not stupid Lexa." Clarke replies with a smile. "That must have been really traumatic for you." Clarke says. "You know, whenever I get a phone call from an unknown number, my stomach drops, and I'm thrown back to the night that I got the call about Finn in the hospital. Do you... do you feel like that every time someone knocks on your door?" Clarke asks. Lexa places her hands on the surface of her desk of draws and takes a steadying breath. Her dream flashes before her eyes, the red and blue light that had illuminated her old street, the formal three knocks on her door, the female officer awaiting her on the other side of the door, the sickening twisting of Lexa's stomach that made her feel nauseous and dizzy, the sad smile the officer had given her, even after Lexa had accused her of being a liar, Lexa didn't even notice but her fingers were digging into the surface of her drawers, her back was impossibly straight and tense and Clarke was concerned. 

 

"Costia and her parents weren't close." Lexa states ignoring Clarke's question. "They didn't support Costia, or her  _ ‘lifestyle’  _ choices, as they put it." Lexa lets out a harsh laugh. "They blamed me for her death, said I made her make bad decisions, that I was a sinner and a temptation and that I'd go to hell for what I'd done." Lexa confesses and she'd never told another soul about this - not even Anya. Clarke's eyes were impossibly soft, staring at Lexa's tense form as the brunette stared straight ahead. "I didn't believe them, of course, I blamed the drunk idiot who crashed their car into her’s, but... maybe they were right." Lexa shrugs bringing her hands back to her sides after a dull ache had started to form in her fingertips. "Maybe I'm just poison to everyone around me, maybe I do make people make bad decisions, maybe I will go to hell." 

 

"Lexa." Clarke stops her not believing that Lexa actually thought that about herself. "You are  _ not  _ poison to everyone around you." Clarke stands up and comes up behind Lexa and the brunette senses her and turns around to face her. "You don't make people make bad decisions, you've actually stopped me from making some pretty stupid mistakes, like falling off a cliff." Lexa laughs, only ever so slightly though, she still seemed far too dejected for Clarke's taste. "You are not going to hell and, if you do, then you can drag me right down there with you." 

 

"You'd go to hell with me?" Lexa asks raising her eyebrows and Clarke smiles so wide that Lexa feels her sudden depressed mood banish completely as she lets the joy and beauty of Clarke's smile wash over her. 

 

"I'd follow you anywhere." Clarke assures. Lexa smiles slightly - it was that lopsided smile that Clarke loved - and she stares into Clarke's blue eyes for the longest of moments. Clarke's breathing picks up considerably seeing the emotions reflected in Lexa's green eyes - they spoke volumes for how she was feeling when Lexa's words didn't. Lexa's eyes flicker down for a moment, contemplating if she should kiss the blonde or not, before they find the beautiful blue of Clarke's eyes again. 

 

"I think we need to talk." Lexa whispers drawing closer to Clarke. There was just something about her, something that pulled Lexa to her, she felt it deep inside of herself and it was inexplicable and strong - kind of like gravity. 

 

Before anything can really happen the sound of a phone ringing causes both of them to jump apart in surprise. Lexa clears her throat and Clarke curses whoever was calling her - and so early in the morning too. "I'm going to go take a shower, you know, because I'm all sweaty." Lexa excuses herself - she needed a cold shower after that staring episode. Clarke nods her head and walks towards her phone while Lexa exits the bedroom to head towards the bathroom. 

 

Clarke frowns when she sees that it's her mom calling her, she almost wanted to ignore her call, just to spite her, but her mother was not one to give in, and she'd only talk Clarke's ear off about it later, so it was better just to answer, besides, Lexa was gone now anyway. Clarke sits down on the bed and slides the button to answer the phone. "Hello?" Clarke says into the receiver. 

 

"Clarke, it took you a while to answer." Abby's voice replies and Clarke rolls her eyes. 

 

"Yeah, I couldn't find my phone." Clarke lies smoothly - seriously, give Clarke a gold medal for lying to her own mother, she was an expert at it, when she had been a teenager, and she'd gotten drunk at a party, she'd told her mom that she was just a little whoozy off being stood up singing carols all night with her friends. Clarke couldn't believe Abby had fallen for it either, that pre-Christmas party had been wild, and Clarke's mom had no clue that her daughter had been drinking, and having sex with her boyfriend, in some funky basement of someone's house who was hosting the party. 

 

"Okay, well, I need you to come back to Polis today." Abby says down the line and Clarke frowns. 

 

"What? Mom, no, we've been in Arkadia for like three days, if that, I want to stay for longer." Clarke denies quickly. She liked Arkadia, better than Polis, she didn't feel like Polis was the right place for her to be anymore - not for a long time has Polis felt like home. 

 

"Clarke." Abby warns. "You left without telling me, remember? I booked you a dress fitting, and Lexa one, plus bridesmaids dresses and suits for Lexa's friend Lincoln, so they need to come up too." 

 

"Mom, Lincoln is a surgeon, I'm not sure-" Clarke begins. 

 

"A surgeon?" Abby asks excitedly and Clarke internally groans. "What does he specialize in?" 

 

"Cardio." Clarke replies curtly. "Listen, mom, I don't think we can all just come up to Polis without even a day's notice." Clarke points out. 

 

"That's your fault for not telling me that you were leaving." Abby retorts and Clarke sighs rubbing her temple with her free hand and closes her eyes. "I need you up here by  tomorrow, at the latest, Lexa's friends can stay here, we have plenty of room, so that shouldn't be a problem." Clarke bites the inside of her mouth, she didn't want to give a definite yes but it didn't sound like she had much of a choice either way - Lexa would be on board with anything, she'd do anything for Clarke. 

 

"Fine, but can you do one thing for me?" Clarke asks and Abby waits for Clarke to ask what she wanted. "Can you change Lexa's dress fitting for a tux one? I think she'd much rather have that." Clarke says and there's a pause on the other end for a moment. 

 

"Very well, I think that should be feasible." Abby replies. "I'll see you when you get home and tell Lexa I'm asking after her will you?"  _ Home. _ Clarke's mind gets stuck on that one word. Home wasn't as black and white as it had once been. Clarke realises her mother is waiting for a reply and snaps out of her daydream. 

 

"Yeah mom, don't worry, I'll tell her." Clarke replies. "See you soon." 

 

"I love you Clarke." Her mom says happily down the line. 

 

"I love you too mom." That wasn't a lie, Clarke did love her mom, sure, sometimes the woman was a little suffocating, a little annoying and overbearing, but she was her mom, mom's are supposed to be like that, at least, from time to time, and Clarke wouldn't want her mom to leave or change for the world - she loved her mom and wanted her to stay exactly how she was. 

 

Clarke lies back on the bed and closes her eyes, hoping to get a few more minutes of shut eye, and she takes a deep breath. The pillow smells like Lexa, an intoxicating smell really, Clarke just can't get enough of it and, honestly, if practically breathing in your fiancée's pillow, just so you can smell them, wasn't an eleven on the creepy stalker scale then Clarke wasn't sure what was. 

 

She stops when she hears the door open and the pitter patter of feet on the floor. "Clarke? You should probably get up." It was Lexa -  _ of course it was Lexa. _ Clarke shuffles, burying her head deeper into the pillow. 

 

"Five more minutes." Clarke complains her voice coming out muffled from smothering herself with the pillow. Lexa rolls her eyes and throws a pair of socks at the blonde's head. 

 

"No, I need to get dressed, plus Raven's awake and complaining that she's dying so, unless you want to shower in a bathroom that reeks of vomit, I suggest you shower now." Lexa retorts.  _ Smartass _ . Clarke lifts her head up from the pillow, and turns over on her side, propping her head up on her hand. Lexa was wearing only a towel as she stood there, her hair was wrapped in another towel and her skin looked impossibly soft and silky to touch - and Clarke almost found herself reaching out to do just that but she stops herself. 

 

"Like  _ you  _ would let your bathroom smell of vomit." Clarke scoffs. If there was anything she'd learned about Lexa it was that the girl was a perfectionist - there was no way Lexa would not clean her bathroom head to toe to prevent it from smelling of vomit. "Plus, you know, I wouldn't mind staying here while you get dressed." Clarke teases with a grin and Lexa rolls her eyes. 

 

"Raven's awake." Is all Lexa responds with and Clarke drops her head in the pillow again letting out a long irritated groan. 

 

"Raven is so annoying." Clarke complains. 

 

"You're her best friend, I’m sure you don't mean that." Lexa replies watching Clarke who was sprawled out on her bed. 

 

"No, no, I don't, but, right now, when I want to sleep, I do." Lexa rolls her eyes again and throws another pair of socks at Clarke which causes her to sit. "Fine, I’m going, there's no need to assault me with socks." Clarke says walking towards the door. Lexa watches her and swallows when she realises that Clarke was wearing one of her shirts along with underwear and the sight made her heart skip a beat and made her have a satisfied feeling in her gut. 

 

Clarke exits out the bedroom, closing the door quite loudly, and she hears a pained groan from the couch a few feet away. Clarke walks over to the back of the couch and looks down at her friend who was snuggling a blanket with her eyes tightly screwed shut. "Wake up babe." Clarke says poking Raven in the side.

 

"Clarke." Raven groans, reaching her arms out and Clarke smiles taking the invitation immediately. She rolls over the back of the couch and falls beside Raven easily, who lifts the blanket to cover the both of them, and Raven snuggles into Clarke like a sick child might to a teddy bear. It made sense, really, Raven had drank way more than the rest of them had, and then after the whole sprinkler ordeal she'd even drank Monty's special moonshine from her flask which Clarke had told her was a bad idea but did she listen? No. 

 

It was nice to cuddle Raven though, it had been so long since she'd just enjoyed her friend's company, she loved Raven, a lot, and, as the momma bear of her group of friends, it was her job to look after them all - even Raven who could look after herself but from time to time she still liked to cuddle with Clarke. 

 

They stay like that, with Clarke drifting in and out of consciousness, until Lexa exits the bedroom, fifteen minutes later, with damp hair, a shirt, flannel and jeans on. "Is this adultery? Should I be worried?" She asks lightly heading towards the kitchen. 

 

"This is Clarke Griffin's hangover cure actually." Raven replies. "Her cuddles are the best." Lexa hums in agreement because Clarke kind of was amazing to cuddle - not that they did it often or anything but the few moments she had were some of the most amazing moments of her life. 

 

"Just don't try to hug Anya, she might kill you." Lexa replies. As if on cue the door to the second bedroom flings open, Raven winces as the loud noise goes right through her, and an angry Anya steps out of the doorway. 

 

"What the fuck are you all yelling about?" She asks. "Do I have to kill every one of you all?" Anya glares at Lexa who just laughs and Clarke holds Raven closer burying her head in her neck to hide from Anya's death glare. 

 

"Relax cheekbones, we weren't yelling, plus you're not the only one who has a hangover." Raven points out and Anya grumbles coming out of her bedroom doorway completely. 

 

"I'm serious, I'll kill you and make it look like an accident." Anya threatens and Clarke takes that as her cue to get up and shower. She kisses Raven on the cheek and makes her way quietly to the bathroom throwing Anya a nervous smile as she passes by her. Anya made Clarke nervous, that girl was seriously intimidating, and the blonde totally understood why Lexa had told her that Anya was a little more of a required taste compared to most. 

 

Clarke disappears and Raven sits up feeling her stomach flip and rumble in protest. "Um, Clarke, could you leave that door unlocked?" Raven calls and Anya clutches her head heading towards the kitchen where she could smell caffeine wafting from. 

 

"You are  _ so  _ not vomiting while I'm in the shower." Clarke calls back with her voice muffled by the door. Raven wraps the blanket she had around her shoulders. 

 

"That's not exactly up to me as much as it is my stomach." Raven retorts. "Stop being a baby, I've literally vomited all over you before, remember? Bell's sixteenth?" 

 

"You swore we'd never bring that up again!" Clarke yells and Raven grins, standing up, a little shaky on her legs. 

 

"Let me vomit where I want woman, this is a free country." Raven replies and she can imagine Clarke letting out an aggravated sigh. 

 

"Whatever, fine, the door is unlocked." Clarke says before Raven hears the sound of running water. She stumbles towards the kitchen and collapses in one of the chairs at the table and leans her head against the cool surface. 

 

"I don't feel so good." Raven murmurs and, before she knows it, green eyes are staring at her worriedly in front of her. Lexa presses her hand to Raven's forehead and frowns. 

 

"You're a little clammy, and pale, and a little shaky, what the hell is in that moonshine?" Lexa asks. 

 

"Apparently hell." Raven replies and Lexa laughs. The brunette sets a mug of coffee beside Raven's head and she sits up for a moment to sip at it before collapsing back down on the table. Lexa drops a bag of bread in front of Raven and the mechanic frowns at her. 

 

"Eat bread, it'll soak up some of the alcohol in your stomach, and, plus, you'll be getting fibre, one of your five a day." Lexa explains. 

 

"And I thought Clarke was a mom friend." Raven says lightly opening the bread and taking a bite of it - it wasn't exactly nice, a little dry among most, but she trusted Lexa to give her the right tools to kick her hangover. 

 

"I just have a bad head." Anya says and she'd already taken aspirin to relieve her pain. "Clearly you're more of a lightweight than you thought." 

 

"Hey," Raven sits up and points her finger at the dirty haired blonde. "Raven Reyes is not a lightweight, no sir, Monty must have put methanol in that shit he gave me." 

 

"What the fuck is methanol?" Anya asks and Lexa has to laugh at her friend's lack of tact. 

 

"Someone doesn't know her chemicals." Raven teases. "It's an alcohol, only it’s not good for you, gives off toxins, kills you, so if I drop dead then that's why." Of course Monty hadn't used methanol, he knew it was not for human consumption, plus you don't actually use chemicals like that in moonshine, Raven was just being dramatic to emphasise her point - she liked to do that from time to time. 

 

"You know, if Monty makes and distributes this moonshine then that's illegal." Lexa says from her position of leaning against the kitchen counter. 

 

"Shut up legally brunette." Raven replies and Lexa just shakes her head in amusement. "Just because you're a lawyer doesn't mean you have to try and get my friend locked away." Raven says sipping her coffee and eating more bread - she was beginning to feel better now. "Besides, Clarke has done plenty of illegal things in her past." Lexa's eyebrows shoot up in curiosity and she gives Raven a look to go on. Raven looks around nervously, unsure if she should really tell Lexa about Clarke's misdemeanours, but she figured: _ what was the big deal?  _

 

"Okay," Raven sits up and claps her hands together and readjusts the blanket around her shoulders. "so it's O's sixteenth birthday party and we're all a little drunk-" 

 

"Undersge drinking is illegal but it's nothing special." Anya interrupts, clearly unimpressed by the story, and Raven smirks. 

 

"Sure, underage drinking is illegal, and yeah, it does happen, but streaking? Man that is a  _ whole  _ new level." Raven says sitting back against the wall. Lexa's eyes go wide and her mouth falls open slightly. 

 

"Wait." Lexa shakes her head not believing what she was hearing. "Clarke went streaking?" 

 

"Oh yeah, blondie, O and I." Raven shrugs. "I think it was a dare, but that night's a little bit of a blur, so I don't know for sure, but we ended up running the streets of Polis naked." Raven chuckles, Anya gives an appreciative nod and Lexa still looked stunned. Just the mental image of Clarke running around Polis naked was unbelievable, and something Lexa certainly should not be thinking about, but there it was: the thought of Clarke naked. 

 

Lexa squirms and stands up straight, feeling slightly disappointed in herself, when they all hear the bathroom door open. Lexa quickly turns around and busies herself, doing anything, when she hears the bedroom door close -  _ of course, Clarke had to get dressed, it's not like she was going to walk around naked- Get that out of your head, Lexa. _

 

Raven stands up from her seat, still feeling slightly dizzy but feeling significantly better than she had before. "Please excuse me, I need to shower... and maybe puke a little." She stumbles out of the kitchen, throwing the blanket down on the couch as she passes, and closes the bathroom door behind her. Anya looks at Lexa curiously as the brunette places a plate of toast down in front of her best friend - clearly Lexa wasn't in the mood to make a big breakfast. Anya watches her carefully narrowing her eyes suspiciously at the brunette. 

 

"Are you okay kid?" Anya asks and Lexa turns around to look at her. Anya had always called her kid, despite her being only a few months older than Lexa, she insisted on calling Lexa kid. 

 

"I'm fine." Lexa replies shrugging. Anya wasn't convinced: she always did know when Lexa was lying. 

 

"Really? Because you seem a little off." Anya replies. "I thought you'd be happy after last night?" Anya adds and Lexa shakes her head being reminded of her dream. Anya frowns for a moment before something seems to click and her eyes widen ever so slightly. " _ Oh _ ." She states after a moment and then Lexa feels it: the pity. She'd had to face that for a while now but every so often it resurfaced and tried to remind Lexa that people thought she was weak and worthy of being pitied. 

 

"Don't." Lexa cuts off before Anya can even start. The brunette slumps down in the seat across from her long time friend and she knew that Anya was giving her a sad look - those pitying eyes that Lexa hated so much. "It was three years ago." Lexa says dismissively. 

 

"Yeah, three years ago to this day." Anya reminds her and Lexa doesn't make eye contact with her. "Have you told Clarke? Have you been having nightmares again? Seriously, are you okay? Lexa." Anya glares at the brunette until she turns to face her. 

 

"I'm fine, really." Lexa replies. Anya holds her stare for a second but seems to find that answer satisfying because she nods her head. "I haven't told Clarke but I did wake up from a nightmare this morning." Lexa confesses. 

 

"That's why you're a little off." Anya realises. "I thought you were just being your usual self or something." Lexa rolls her eyes when she hears the sound of the bedroom door opening. She sits upright and runs a hand through her hair, almost subconsciously, and Anya lets out a breathy laugh. Lexa looks at her and frowns in confusion asking Anya what she was laughing at silently. "Nothing." Anya says with a grin that says that it's clearly  _ something  _ but Lexa didn't feel like questioning her on it - and she didn't want Clarke hearing if it was something stupid which it was Anya so it probably was stupid. 

 

Clarke comes into the kitchen and pauses when she sees Lexa and Anya sitting there. "So I have some bad news." Clarke begins and Lexa frowns looking at her curiously for her to continue. "My mom called me this morning, she wants us back in Polis today, or  tomorrow at the latest, and she wants your friends to come along too." Clarke says with a sheepish smile and Lexa laughs standing up from her seat and offering it to Clarke. Anya rolls her eyes at her friend who was such a gentlewoman. 

 

Clarke takes the seat and the food extended to her by the brunette. "That's fine with me." Lexa shrugs. It's not like she had anything else to do  _ but  _ get married to Clarke and that meant she had to do traditional wedding tasks. 

 

"Yeah, I've always wanted to see Polis, count me in." Anya replies holding her mug of coffee up at Clarke before sipping from it. Clarke smiles slightly at that and turns to face Lexa again. Her brow furrows, Lexa looked tense, more so than usual, and Clarke couldn't help but think it had something to do with what had happened this morning. 

 

"I might have to drag Raven," Clarke admits taking a bite of toast. "she really likes it here, and I can't blame her, I was starting to love this place too." Anya raises an eyebrow and glances at Lexa. 

 

"You could always move up here after the wedding?" Anya suggests and Lexa pays that comment no attention. She didn't mind where she and Clarke ended up just as long as she was with the blonde then everything would be okay. Clarke looks at Lexa again, trying to gauge her opinion on that statement, but she was greeted by a blank expression, a stoic one, giving away nothing. 

 

"Maybe." Clarke replies. 

 

"I'll talk to Linc." Lexa says pushing off the counter. She exits out the kitchen and Clarke sighs looking at Anya. 

 

"Is she okay?" Clarke questions. Anya sips her coffee for a moment and taps her fingers against the surface of the table. 

 

"You'll have to ask her yourself princess." Anya replies. "It's not my place to say anything." Clarke furrows her brow in confusion and Anya just shrugs not willing to go into anymore detail than that. That's when they hear a clash and a series of curse words come from the bathroom. 

 

Clarke and Anya look at each other for a beat before they hear a muffled Raven voice yell. "Don't worry guys, I'm good, just broke a rib, that's all!" Clarke laughs at her friend’s stupidity and Anya just rolls her eyes - although Clarke could make out the tiniest hint of a smile on her lips. 

 

Clarke was worried, despite their somewhat frustrating situation they're in, with no one saying how they feel outwardly, or expressing what they wanted from one another, she felt like she was tiptoeing around Lexa and she didn't want that - she just wanted to be with Lexa and enjoy their time together. 

 

Lexa steps into Lincoln's apartment, without knocking, to find Lincoln standing in his living room dressed casually and on his phone. When he sees Lexa he stuffs his phone in his pocket and wastes no time in crossing the room and pulling Lexa into a tight embrace. Lexa sighs and wraps her arms around the big guy and burrows her head in his shoulder. "I was going to come over later." He murmurs still holding Lexa tightly. "I didn't know if you'd be with Clarke. I have my day off today." He steps back from the hug, gives Lexa a ruffle of the hair, before walking back over to his couch and collapsing on it. 

 

Lexa walks towards him and rubs the back of her neck nervously. "So I have a favour to ask." Lexa says and Lincoln looks at her curiously. "Clarke's mom needs me back in polis and, apparently, that requires my two best people too." Lexa begins sitting down beside Lincoln. He raises an eyebrow playfully and Lexa smiles ever so slightly at him. "I'm not sure what we're going to be doing and I know I haven't formally asked you-" 

 

"Lexa." Lincoln interrupts. "I'm one of your best persons?" He asks with a wide goofy grin on his face. He nudges Lexa playfully and she lets out a small laugh and shakes her head at him in amusement. 

 

"You've always been there for me, you've always looked out for me, you've always been one of my best persons." Lexa replies without a doubt and Lincoln smiles wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "Hell, I didn't even need to say anything when I came into the apartment and you hugged me because you just knew." 

 

"That's because I love you." Lincoln says like it was obvious. "You're like my little sister, it's my job to look after you." 

 

"I love you too Linc." Lexa replies. Lincoln was her best friend for many reasons but he has always been there for Lexa - he was one of the very few people who Lexa trusted with her life. 

 

"I have a day off today." Lincoln answers. "I could call up, ask for a few more days, and drive up to Polis with you guys?" 

 

"You wouldn't mind?" Lexa asks because she wanted to be sure that she wasn't being an inconvenience to Lincoln. He simply smiles at her sincerely and shakes his head softly. 

 

"Not for you." He says and Lexa nods her head. "How are you feeling?" He asks seriously and Lexa sighs. 

 

"I'm fine." She replies and maybe she'll actually mean those two words sometime soon.

 

**//**

 

Anya was riding with Raven, since she claimed that Lexa and Clarke would drive her insane, and Lincoln had managed to secure at least two more days free from work and he was riding with Raven and Anya in case Anya decided to murder Raven. It was a little touch and go with those two, Lexa was never certain if Anya wanted to kiss the mechanic or if she wanted to strangle her, but, then again, Anya was like that with most people. 

 

That left Lexa and Clarke, alone, in a car, together, and it was a little more than awkward. Lexa was practically squirming in her seat, clearly uncomfortable, and Clarke didn't really know what to say. She wasn't sure where all this awkwardness had come from, Lexa had been acting strange all morning, and, if you didn't know her, then you wouldn't even notice, but Clarke noticed, Lincoln noticed, Anya noticed, hell, even Raven seemed to have some kind of clue that something wasn't right. Clarke couldn't even bring herself to switch on the country music she loved so they drove in silence with the only sound coming from Lexa's moving and tapping. 

 

Clarke was at her breaking point, any minute now she was going to snap and tell Lexa to sit fucking still, but before she could reach that point she felt eyes on her. It was weird that Clarke knew what Lexa's stare felt like, it was almost as though that if the car had been filled with people staring at her she'd know if Lexa was or not, and she felt as though if they had been in a packed room she would always feel and find Lexa's green eyes no matter what. There was just something about her eyes. "Three years ago today." Lexa states and Clarke glances sideways at her momentarily before fixing her eyes on the road again. Her slight frown told Lexa that she didn't understand what she was telling her and Lexa sighs. "Three years ago today, the police knocked on my door and told me my girlfriend of three years was dead." Lexa says her voice was flat, emotionless, and Clarke felt her heart stop in her chest and her blood run cold. 

 

"Shit." Clarke says. She slows down her car and pulls over watching as Anya drove past - apparently Raven was too hungover to drive but still able to give directions - Anya slows but Clarke shakes her head and the girl seems to understand right away. "Why didn't you tell me?" Clarke asks and Lexa laughs unhumorously - it was more of a  _ 'ha'  _ then anything. "Are you okay?" Clarke asks and Lexa looks at her, her green eyes heavy with emotions but her face giving nothing away, Clarke still couldn't understand how someone could communicate through their eyes, really,  _ what was up with that? _ But, as they say, the eyes are the windows to the soul and Lexa bore her soul in her eyes for Clarke to see clearly. 

 

Lexa had been asked that a lot today, by her two best friends, the people she should trust the most in the world, and yet, here she was, staring into Clarke’s beautiful blue eyes, and she just couldn't bring herself to say it, _ to lie _ , she just couldn't. "No." Lexa admits. "I feel weird, I don't feel like me, it's like I'm having an outer body experience, I just I don't feel like me Clarke." Lexa says, her eyes glistening, trying to make Clarke understand and she did understand - she understood perfectly. 

 

Clarke switches off the car and contemplates that statement for a moment, playing with the keys in the ignition, before turning back to her fiancée. "Come on." Clarke says opening her door and getting out. Lexa quickly follows, they meet at the front of the car and Clarke climbs onto the hood and sits down on it patting the metal for Lexa to follow suit. The brunette hesitates, this was Clarke's car after all, and it was quite expensive, but she always wanted to know what Clarke had to say so she climbs on and settles beside her. 

 

The blonde takes a deep breath, closing her eyes and bathing in the warmth of the sun. They were surrounded by corn fields and Lexa felt even more surreal than what she had before. Clarke takes the brunette's hand and rests it gently on her chest so that Lexa may feel her heart beat. Lexa's eyes widen slightly but she had to admit that Clarke made her feel grounded - she made her feel safe. "Count." Clarke says with her eyes still closed. She was still enjoying the warmth of the sun but she was smiling warmly and that was all the sun Lexa needed. 

 

Lexa counts Clarke's heartbeat it was strong and steady under her palm. Ba  _ bump, ba bump, ba bump.  _ Clarke removes her hand, and Lexa has to resist the urge to whimper from the loss of contact, and the blonde places Lexa's palm on her own chest. "Count." Clarke encourages and Lexa follows her instructions. Again, Lexa's heart had a strong steady beat, if not a little quick, but that was probably due to the Clarke she had holding her hand over her chest. _ Ba bump, ba bump, ba bump.  _

 

Clarke grabs her other hand and rests it on her chest again so that Lexa had one hand resting on her own chest and her other on Clarke's. "Count." She repeats.  _ Ba bump, ba bump, ba bump. _ Lexa closes her eyes, relaxing to the rhythm of their hearts, they were in time, they were in sync, and Lexa has never felt more relaxed -  _ more like herself _ \- then when she was feeling her own heartbeat in time with Clarke's. "You're alive Lexa. I'm alive." Clarke says softly. "You're here, right now, counting our heartbeats, you're you, and you're with me." Clarke assures. "You're not going anywhere and neither am I." 

 

"Clarke I-" Lexa begins, opening her eyes and withdrawing her hands. Clarke cracks her eyes open to look at the brunette who looked more like herself than she had the whole morning. Lexa frowns, as though she was considering saying something, but Clarke figures she changes her mind as she gets a "Thank you." instead. Clarke nods her head and leans back against the hood of the car, it really was a nice day, and she enjoyed feeling the sun on her skin, but the presence of Lexa was putting her even more at ease. 

 

Lexa watches her for a second before closing her eyes and soaking in the sun. "My mom got you a tux fitting." Clarke says and Lexa raises her eyebrows. "I happen to think you'll look incredibly good looking a suit." 

 

"I do really work a tie." Lexa says and Clarke laughs. 

 

"There's the Lexa I know." Clarke says leaning over to peck her gently on the cheek. Lexa just smiles at the blonde and she was pretty proud she didn't blush from the action. They still needed to talk, things were blurring, and Lexa needed to know where Clarke stood on those blurring lines, she needed to know how Clarke felt, because she felt pretty strongly about the blonde, but, on the hood of her car, after confessing she wasn't all that okay, wasn't the right time. 

 

"We should probably start driving again," Lexa says standing up. "your mom is waiting, plus, do you really want Anya, Raven and Lincoln to get there way before we do?" Lexa asks. She helps Clarke off the hood of the car by offering her hand to the blonde who takes it happily. 

 

Once Clarke's safely on two feet on the ground Clarke stares at her for a moment slightly unnerving Lexa. "Are you sure you're okay?" Clarke asks. She wanted to be certain that Lexa was definitely okay, that she wasn't just pretending, and it should worry Lexa that Clarke knew when she was lying, even after only really knowing her for a short amount of time, but it didn't - she actually found it quite comforting. 

 

"Yeah." Lexa nods a small smile making its way to her lips. "I think I am." Clarke grins and tosses her keys at Lexa who catches them with ease. 

 

"I call shotgun." The blonde says heading towards the passenger side. Lexa cocks an eyebrow and spins around to stare at the blonde who just winks at her before she slips into the car. Lexa laughs and closes her fist around the keys.  _ Guess she was driving.  _

 

**//**

 

They arrive back in Polis in the early afternoon. Since the dress fitting had been scheduled for the next day Lexa was helping her friends get settled and talking to her favourite butler: Alfred. She seemed much better now, much to Clarke's relief, and she seemed more relaxed and less tense than what she had been. 

 

Clarke disappears from her new friends, Lexa and Raven in search of Lexa's mom. She was curious as to why Lexa had been so distraught over her mother's behaviour before they had left for Polis and she wanted to see if there was anything that Lexa should really be worried about. Lexa's mom may be too proud to admit there was anything wrong with her but Clarke had a trained eye for this kind of thing - she had this strange ability to read people. 

 

Clarke hesitates outside her door wondering if she should really disturb Lexa's mom - especially without Lexa's knowledge. Clarke knocks on the door and waits for a response. It takes a moment before she hears "Come in." being called. Clarke slips into the bedroom leaving the door open behind her as she walks into the bedroom. Lexa's mom was pulling one of her shoes on when she looks up to see Clarke approaching her cautiously. "Clarke." She says with a kind smile - it reminded Clarke of Lexa. "How can I help you?" She asks. Clarke lets her eyes wander over Ms. Woods for a moment: she was thinner, she looked more tired than the few times Clarke had seen her, she looked more fragile and, judging by the way she winced every so often, she was in pain in some kind of way. 

 

"Lexa told me that she thought something was wrong..." Clarke trails off and Lexa's mom lets out a sigh. "Ms Woods-" 

 

"Lucy." She interrupts. "You can call me Lucy." 

 

"Is there something wrong?" Clarke asks. "And just remember that you can't lie to me, I went to med school, I know symptoms when I see them." Clarke gives her a stern look and Ms Woods sighs again. 

 

"Close the door." She says and Clarke raises an eyebrow. "Close the door and I'll tell you everything." Clarke does as she's told and closes the door securely behind her before turning back to Lexa's mom. 

 

Meanwhile, Lexa was done showing Anya and Lincoln around - with Alfred as her guide just in case Lexa got lost again. "Miss Griffin informed me that you would be staying in her room from now on." Alfred says with his classic smile. Lexa nods her head, it's not like it really mattered, she wouldn't be staying in Polis, it looked as though Clarke preferred Arkadia anyway, and she was sure they'd be going back as soon as possible. 

 

"We're getting married so we figured there was no point in sleeping separately." Lexa replies still walking in time with Alfred as he lead her towards Clarke's room. 

 

"If I may Miss Woods," he raises an eyebrow and Lexa gestures for him to continue. "it's clear that you and Miss Griffin have developed feelings over the past month." He states and Lexa opens her mouth to protest but he gives her a look and Lexa feels herself closing her mouth scowling at the butler when he smiles smugly at her. "My advice is to tell her, of course, but also, I helped raise Miss Griffin from when she was just a baby so I feel as though I have a responsibility to tell you to look after her." Lexa stops walking and Alfred follows suit turning around to face her. "After the tragedy with Mr Collins, Miss Griffin fell apart a little, but since she's met you she's- she's getting back to how she used to be." He explains. Lexa smiles sincerely at the butler nodding her head in understanding. 

 

"She makes me happy." Lexa admits. "I'd like to make her happy too." 

 

"You already do." Alfred responds easily without hesitation. He begins walking again and Lexa follows closely behind him. They make light conversation about trivial things before Alfred stops and opens the door to Clarke's room. The butler, who had been carrying Lexa's light luggage, enters the room and lays the bag down on the bed. Lexa had been in Clarke's room before but she hadn't really paid attention - the blonde always stealing her attention away from the room. 

 

There were a few photos of Clarke when she was younger with her mother and father, some of her when she was a teenager with her other friends that Lexa recognised, they'd obviously been taken on nights out, probably when they were drunk, and then there were ones of Clarke older, in her early twenties, they showed how Clarke had matured - although some, especially the one with Raven kissing Clarke on the cheek while sticking her fingers up at the camera, still showed the fun times Clarke obviously still had growing up. One picture in particular caught Lexa's attention. It was tucked away behind the other's, just barely noticeable, it was a picture of Clarke with her arms wrapped around a boy with long shaggy black hair, both were laughing hysterically, it seemed Clarke was wearing reindeer antlers while the boy, who Lexa now assumed was Finn, was wearing a Santa hat. Clarke had her tongue sticking out, and she was winking at the camera, while the boy had his arms lifted up as Clarke practically clung onto his midsection, her head peering around his side as though she had just snuck up on him only a few minutes prior to the picture being taken. 

 

It was the only picture of Finn that Lexa could see, the others probably taken down by Clarke, the memories too painful to  keep them up anymore, Lexa knew what that was like, she had a shoebox under her bed filled with pictures of Costia and herself, but Clarke had left this one picture up, hidden, but still in sight, and Lexa wondered why. Maybe it was because it was a holiday, Christmas clearly, or maybe it reminded Clarke of the better memories. She certainly looked happy -  _ they  _ looked happy. Lexa's heart contracts being reminded of her own lost love and reminding her of what she and Clarke had both lost. 

 

Lexa sighs softly at the sight before looking at some of the paintings around the room. They were obviously Clarke's favourites - or the ones that Clarke's mother hadn't managed to steal from the blonde to hang around the house. One caught her eye, it must be a relatively new piece considering Lexa hadn't noticed it before, it was a canvas of green, multiple shades, as though Clarke had been searching for the right colour. 

 

Lexa turns around to face Alfred when Raven enters the bedroom dragging an annoyed looking Anya and a confused looking Lincoln behind her. "Where's princess?" Raven asks and Lexa frowns at the mechanic. "Go find your fiancée, we’re having a night out on the town." Raven grins and Anya shakes out of Raven's grip with a glare directed at the mechanic. 

 

"Raven, it’s two in the afternoon." Lexa points out raising her eyebrows in disbelief. 

 

"Nothing like afternoon drinking between friends." Raven replies with a wink and Lexa rolls her eyes. Something told her she wouldn't be able to say no to Raven, even if drinking this early wasn't really something Lexa did often, if Raven wanted to go out then they were going to go out. There was just something about Raven, maybe her intensely annoying, yet charming, personality, that made it impossible to refuse her. 

 

"Fine," Lexa huffs. "I'll go find Clarke." She relents brushing past her friends in the door. She hears a smack from behind her and Raven's exaggerated  _ ‘Ow’  _ in response and Lexa imagines that Anya just smacked Raven on the back of the head.

 

"Ms Woods, you can't keep this from Lexa." Clarke was sitting beside Lexa's mother, Lucy, who had just explained something that shouldn’t be taken lightly - even if it is very curable Clarke still thought not telling Lexa was a bad idea. "She deserves to know." Lexa didn't deserve to be in the dark on this topic - especially if the treatments didn't work. Ms Woods sighs and rubs her face with her hands and looks back up at Clarke. 

 

"I don't want to burden Alexandria with my problems, she's already so... Broken." Clarke swallows hard when she hears Lucy's description of Lexa. "She's a worrier, she already lost her first love, all I want is for her to be happy." Clarke could see the reasoning behind it, it's never a pleasant thing to find out your mom's sick, but that didn't make it right. Lying to Lexa just wasn't right. Lexa should know, in case worse should come to worse. "I just want my daughter to be happy." She adds and Clarke looks away. She thinks about it for a moment, ashamed that she was actually considering not telling Lexa, that once her mom had been through the stages of treatment she'd be fine and no one would know the difference. Except, of course, Clarke would know - and her own mom because apparently her mother was treating Lexa's mom. That was messed up, telling Lexa lies just to keep her happy? The truth may hurt but lying is worse. 

 

"Two weeks." Clarke relents. "I'll give you two weeks and then you have to come clean or I'll tell Lexa myself." Clarke's face is hard and set telling Ms Woods that she wouldn't go back on her word. She nods solemnly, obviously not pleased with that arrangement but knowing she couldn't change it. 

 

The door to the bedroom opens and both women jump and snap their heads in the direction of the door. "Hey, mom, have y-" Lexa stops mid sentence, entering the bedroom and seeing Clarke sitting beside her mother on the bed. "Clarke?" Lexa asks frowning at the sight. Clarke stands up from the bed smiling warmly at the brunette to brush off any concerns she may have. "What's going on in here?" Lexa asks her frown deepening. Clarke looks behind her at Lucy with a slightly alarmed expression that Lexa couldn't see. 

 

"We were just talking Alexandria." Lexa's mom brushes off easily. "I think it's my duty to get to know my daughter's future wife." She adds and Clarke breathes a sigh of relief - that was perfectly believable. She turns back to Lexa who has her eyes narrowed suspiciously. 

 

"I was looking for Clarke..." Lexa trails off. "Are you okay?" Lexa asks her mom who smiles dismissively. 

 

"I'm fine Alexandria, I told you that before you left." She points out and Lexa goes to argue but her mom gives her a look silencing her protests. Clarke felt a little guilty because something was wrong and Lexa wasn't stupid - she knew something wasn't quite right. Lexa looks at Clarke, her green eyes softening, there was something in that look, something so innocent, something so sad, that made Clarke's heart ache and she didn't want to lie to Lexa but she'd told Lexa’s mom that she'd give her two weeks. 

 

"It's okay Lex, we were just talking." Clarke says with a reassuring, forced, smile. "Why did you-? Did you want me for something?" Clarke asks and Lexa's expression clears for a moment. 

 

"Yeah," Lexa sighs feeling defeated. "Raven has the bright idea of going out for a few drinks and, honestly, I could use one." Lexa admits and Clarke smiles. 

 

"Okay, yeah, go fetch them and I'll meet you downstairs." Clarke replies and Lexa nods turning her back on the blonde and exiting the room. Clarke turns around to face Lexa's mom with a serious expression. "Two weeks." She says sternly before turning on her heel and storming out of the room not waiting for a reply - if Ms Woods was anything like Lexa then the older woman would be able to talk her out of her two weeks argument and she couldn't have that. Two weeks of not technically lying but hiding the truth from Lexa was enough for a lifetime and about the only amount she could manage without crumbling. Clarke exits the room and heads down the stairs where she would meet Lexa and her friends. Clarke could really use a drink too.

 

**//**

 

Once Octavia and Bellamy had arrived with a limo Clarke thought that things couldn't get more ridiculous. Octavia claimed that it was logical, that they could all drink and all travel as one, but rocking up to a club in a limo causes people to stare - especially when it's the middle of the afternoon. No matter how ridiculous the limo had been, watching Raven dance like a robot might just make the whole limo ordeal be the loser for the most ridiculous thing Clarke has seen that day. 

 

It was later now, around six in the evening, they were settling down now, no one was really drunk - although Raven seemed to be just a tad bit more than tipsy. Lexa was sitting beside Clarke in the booth that they had secured as their own, Bellamy was beside Lexa which was unusual, in fact, it looked that they were bonding quite well. Octavia was next to Clarke with Lincoln beside her, which, those two seemed to be getting along a little too well, Anya was sitting beside Lincoln but mostly she was watching Raven, rolling her eyes at her behaviour, but Clarke could see her obvious amusement. 

 

A scoff from Clarke's right causes her to tune into Lexa's and Bellamy's conversation. "Please, I could drink you under the table Blake." Lexa says cockily and Clarke rolls her eyes. She should've known those two would be competitive - they were too much alike to not have some kind of healthy competition between them. 

 

"Really?" Bellamy asks raising a black eyebrow. "What do you think Clarke? Think green eyes over here could take me?" He asks and Clarke glances between them. Lexa was giving her a 'Come on’ look while Bellamy just wiggled his eyebrows. 

 

"I don't know," Clarke says pausing for a moment. "Lexa is a little bit of a lightweight." Clarke jokes with a smirk and Lexa glares at her. 

 

"I am not." She grumbles. "I told you, wine isn't my forte, whisky and beer however, I could go for days." Clarke chuckles. To be fair Bellamy was definitely a lightweight but men are all the same and they never like being told they're not good at something. 

 

"Whiskey shots Lexa?" Bellamy asks and Clarke can't believe they're actually about to have a drinking competition. 

 

"What are you two, five years old?" Clarke asks in disbelief and Lexa looks at her. 

 

"We're not five Clarke," Lexa says and the slight curl of her lips tells Clarke she's about to say some smartass comment. "five year olds can't drink." She winks at the blonde and Clarke rolls her eyes at the girl. Bellamy disappears to go retrieve a bottle of whiskey and shot glasses from the bar. 

 

"Are you okay?" Clarke asks and Lexa frowns at her questioningly. "I mean, you were pretty down this morning, about, you know, so I was just wondering if you were okay or not?" Clarke rushes and Lexa chuckles turning fully to face Clarke. 

 

"I'm good." Lexa says it and she means it. "I guess not being alone helps." Lexa confesses because the last few years she'd faced this day alone, sure, she'd had Lincoln and Anya but something about her new friends and Clarke -  _ certainly Clarke _ \- gave her a comforting feeling. 

 

The blonde smiles softly at her fiancé who leans a little closer to her when Bellamy returns with a bottle of whiskey and shot glasses. "Okay, how about we make this a little more interesting and play never have I ever?" He asks sliding into the booth next to Lexa. The group of twenty odd year olds nod their heads in approval and Bellamy hands out shot glasses and places the whiskey in the centre. 

 

"Raven, get your ass over here!" Anya yells and the mechanic is next to her in a flash all sweaty from her dancing which Lexa still didn't understand why she had danced like a robot. 

 

"Lexa," Bellamy says gesturing to his new friend. "you can go first." He offers and Lexa thinks for a moment before smiling smugly. 

 

"Never have I ever had sex with a boy." She states proudly and the whole table groan, downing a shot, except for Lincoln who grins at Lexa. The pair high five and Anya scowls at them. 

 

"No fair, you and teddy bear do not get to team up." Anya grumbles and Lexa shrugs. 

 

"I guess being gay has its perks." Lexa retorts and Lincoln laughs. 

 

"And being straight." He adds and Lexa nods her head. Anya scowls at them and Lexa knows she's in for it now - she should've made an alliance with Anya, not Lincoln. 

 

"Clarke." Lexa says looking away from her angry best friend and to her fiancé. 

 

"Um, never have I ever... done anything illegal." Clarke states staring pointedly at Raven - although she'd have to take a shot herself. 

 

"You bitch." Raven accuses but her grin takes all bite from her words. She swiftly swallows the shot along with Octavia, Anya, Bellamy and... Lexa? Everyone stares at the brunette for a moment - excluding her own friends of course, they knew what Lexa had done. 

 

"What?" Lexa asks raising an eyebrow. "Just because I'm a lawyer doesn't mean I haven't done anything illegal." 

 

"Don't they do like criminal checks if you apply for law school?" Raven asks and Anya rolls her eyes and Lexa just snorts. 

 

"All I did was steal some stuff from a store, okay?" Lexa holds her hands up but they stare at her in disbelief. "And then I felt super guilty so I went back, confessed, and paid them back the money, but I still stole, that's still illegal." 

 

"You're so cute." Clarke says smiling at the thought of a young Lexa returning the money for the items she had taken. 

 

"You're both disgusting." Octavia comments and Clarke kicks her under the table enticing a yelp from the younger brunette. 

 

"Never have I ever stolen someone's boyfriend." Raven says this time staring at Clarke who grudgingly takes a shot. Raven and Clarke had gotten over that a while ago. Back when Raven had been with Finn, freshmen year, and then the shaggy haired boy had fallen for Clarke sophomore year and, yeah, Clarke did kind of steal Raven's boyfriend but, they were stronger than ever for it. Lexa plays with her shot glass, she hadn't stolen anyone's boyfriend, Anya thinks for a moment and takes a shot, Octavia doesn't and Bellamy takes a shot. Lexa looks at the curly haired boy beside her. 

 

"You're losing." Lexa points out - much to Bellamy's announce. 

 

"That's what I get for being such a slut I suppose." He winks at Lexa and the brunette scowls at him. "Never have I ever been to law school." He raises his shot glass at Lexa and she glares at him as she pours herself a shot and downs it. He was obviously trying to level the playing field, which was annoying, but Lexa would come back just as strong. 

 

"Never have I ever," Lincoln looks at Lexa who smirks. "shot at someone." Lincoln and Lexa look at Anya who was severely unimpressed with her friends. The dirty blonde takes a shot and everyone stares at her obviously waiting for the story behind that. 

 

"Some chick was trying to steal my boyfriend, so I shot a few rounds at her, big deal?" Anya says sitting back and Raven lets out a low applicative whistle. 

 

"Okay," Octavia says thinking for a moment. "never have I ever... fantasised about anyone in this room." Everyone drinks. Raven smirks at Anya, then winks at Lexa who frowns at the mechanic, Clarke's eyes shift to Lexa beside her, and she's suddenly very aware of the brunette's leg that's pressed against her own, Bellamy glances at Clarke momentarily, but it's fleeting, Lincoln and Octavia glance at one another, smiling when they catch each other's eyes. 

 

"Never have I ever peed my pants in public." Anya pipes up and Lexa grips her shot glass. Her best friend raises her eyebrows and Lexa reaches for the bottle of whiskey pouring herself a shot and downing it. Only after pouring herself one Raven takes the bottle too. 

 

"Happens to the best of us." Raven says raising her shot up at Lexa and Lexa laughs feeling a little less embarrassed. 

 

"I was in first grade and  _ someone  _ wouldn't unlock the bathroom." Lexa glares at Anya who just grins clearly impressed with herself. 

 

"I thought you were faking." Anya shrugs and Lexa grumbles in annoyance.

 

**//**

 

The game continues like that with the questions getting more specific as friends targeted one another and tried to get each other to drink. It was Octavia's turn to ask the next question, Bellamy leaning his head against the table, Anya and Raven were sitting suspiciously close, Lincoln and Octavia were brushing against each other, while Clarke and Lexa just blantely stared at each other. "Never have I ever been in love." Octavia says. Bellamy reaches his hand out and Lexa slides his shot glass into his hand - since he wasn't lifting up and didn't look like he could be bothered to move - so that he could drink it. Clarke downs a shot, along with Lexa, Anya pauses before taking her own shot, Raven downs one, Octavia considers for a moment before taking a shot, the only person who didn't drink was Lincoln. 

 

"You've never been in love Linc?" Lexa asks raising her eyebrows. Clarke laughs at Lexa's swaying and slight slur of her words. 

 

"I don't know." Lincoln shrugs. "How do you know if you're in love?" He asks and Lexa thinks about it. 

 

"You just know." Lexa decides unable to explain it any other way. "It's like this feeling, you know?" Lexa places a hand on her chest and pats it as though that should answer Lincoln's question. Clarke laughs at the sight of Lexa trying to explain. 

 

"I think Lexa's drunk." Clarke says in amusement. 

 

" _ Shhh _ , Clarke." Lexa scolds with a frown. "I am not." Lexa protests. The club was busier now, there was people dancing and drinking and having a good time. Seeing Lexa swaying, and clearly  _ not  _ sober, Clarke knew it was time to go home. Drinking non-stop from two in the afternoon to ten o’clock at night was impressive - even for her friends. 

 

"I thinks it's time we go home." Clarke says to the whole table and they all nod in agreement. Bellamy stumbles out from the booth and Lexa manages to catch him as she stands up. Clarke watches with amusement as Lexa clings on to Bellamy to keep him off of his ass. 

 

"This is the first time I've held a boy." Lexa says with a questioning look as though she wasn't sure if she liked it or not. 

 

"Well you're very good at it." Bellamy replies and Lexa rolls her eyes. 

 

"Sure." She quips pulling Bellamy upright and pushing him towards the exit. The boy stumbles forward, almost tripping, but he pushes past the bodies in his way to exit. Raven was following the curly haired boy, dragging Anya with a wide drunken smile, while Lincoln offered his elbow to Octavia who took it with a small blush. 

 

Lexa was about to follow when she feels a hand attach itself to her own hand. The brunette looks down and follows the arm up to a shoulder, to a neck, to blue eyes. Lexa smiles, seeing that blue, and Clarke feels a warm sensation in her stomach at Lexa's obvious happiness to be close to her. She was tempted to ask Lexa if she was okay again, after this morning Clarke had been worrying about the brunette all day, but she doubted Lexa could even think straight with all the alcohol she had drank -  _ scratch that _ , Clarke was certain that Lexa couldn't think  _ straight _ . The pair walk hand in hand out of the club, sliding past other bodies in their attempt to escape the sweaty atmosphere. 

 

When they finally manage to escape the club, Clarke takes a deep breath relishing in the cool air that was easier to breathe than the humid club air. "I have a question," Lexa says catching Clarke's attention. Clarke turns being caught off guard by the sparkle and intensity of the brunette's gaze but that was Lexa:  _ intense _ . "am I allowed to see the bride in the dress?" Lexa asks, clearly finding the question funny, but Clarke was certain she'd find anything funny at this point. Bellamy and Lexa had been sneaking shots between rounds and, subsequently, had both gotten drunk faster than their friends. Lexa liked Bellamy, Clarke could see that, she'd never admit it, obviously, but they actually had a lot in common and, although their personalities clashed from time to time, and Clarke was certain they make a competition out of anything, they actually made pretty good friends. 

 

"What? Of course you're not allowed to see me in my dress." Clarke replies leading Lexa towards the ridiculous limo. 

 

" _ But Clarrrke _ ," Lexa pouts -  _ she actually pouts _ \- and Clarke finds the expression incredibly endearing. "it's the groom that's not supposed to see the bride, I'm not the groom." 

 

"Ah-ha, well, the bride isn't allowed to see the other bride in her dress." Clarke says rolling her eyes. 

 

"What about me in my suit?" Lexa asks and she clearly doesn't find that very fair because she's frowning. 

 

"No Lexa, I won't be allowed to see you either." Clarke replies. "I promise, now come on." She ushers Lexa into the limo and the brunette sits down on one of the leather seats and Clarke joins her. As soon as Clarke's sat down Lexa leans her head against her shoulder and closes her eyes. Clarke doesn't mind, she actually quite likes cuddling with Lexa, but their friends give them looks and Clarke's tempted to flip them all off.

 

**//**

 

The ride is comfortable and Clarke's almost certain Lexa is asleep on her shoulder when the limo pulls up outside of her estate. Clarke nudges her gently and Anya lets out a laugh. "Not going to work princess." Clarke didn't fail to notice how her nickname had now made its way to Anya and probably Lincoln. "You have to do this." Anya grabs Lexa's shirt and shakes her startling the brunette from her sleep. Lexa looks around, clearly confused, before settling for a scowl at her best friend. "Rise and shine kiddo." Anya winks exiting the limo before Lexa could do anything back to her. 

 

Lincoln smiles shyly at Octavia before leaving. "What about me?" Raven asks. "Don't send me home Clarke." Raven didn't live in any fancy estate and her mom was an alcoholic who Raven had to tolerate in her home because it was _ her mother _ and she couldn't leave her out on the streets - no matter how shitty of a mother she may be - but Raven didn't like spending much time at home. 

 

Clarke nods her head in the direction of the door and Raven scrambles out of the limo. Clarke helps Lexa out of the limo and leads her towards the house. "Let's get some water in you and sober you up a little." Clarke says. Lexa follows willingly as Clarke enters the house and begins leading her through the house to the kitchen. 

 

Clarke grabs a glass, fills it with water, and then hands it to Lexa. Lexa gulps it down when Clarke gives her a look and Clarke pours herself some water to help with her own drunkenness. Lexa sighs, placing the glass down when she was done, and Clarke raises an eyebrow. "You okay?" Clarke asks quietly and Lexa sighs again. 

 

"No." Lexa admits turning around.  _ Oh no. _ Lexa had gone to that dark place, that place that sometimes you go to when you're drunk, that place that claws at your insides and makes you feel empty, the place where drunken people slur out their inner feelings and spill them all over and don't remember doing so the next day. "Costia's dead." Clarke's breath catches in her throat. "She died today, three years ago today." Lexa continues. "I loved her Clarke and she died." 

 

"I know." Clarke says softly trying to comfort a drunken Lexa who didn't really know what she was saying. 

 

"I'm scared." Lexa says and she really does look like a sacred child - like a cornered dog might feel. "What if  _ you  _ die?" 

 

"I won't." Clarke reassures instantly. "You remember our deal right?" Clarke asks with a soft smile. "No dying on each other." 

 

"I don't want you to die Clarke." Lexa says, stepping forward, her hands cup the blonde's face and all Clarke can do is stare at her in both shock and amazement. "You're so beautiful, your smile, your hair, your blue eyes, I love your blue eyes Clarke." Clarke lets out a breathy laugh. "What if you leave me?" Lexa pulls back again frowning with the thought. 

 

"Lexa," Clarke sighs shaking off the tingling that was running through her after Lexa had practically caressed her skin. "till death do us part okay?" 

 

"Till death do us part?" Lexa repeats, still frowning, and, if Clarke wasn't severely worried about Lexa's state of mind, she might find the expression cute as hell. 

 

"Till death do us part." Clarke confirms and Lexa stares at her before breaking out into a huge grin. 

 

"Promise me something?" Lexa asks and Clarke nods for her to go on. "Promise me I'll die first." The statement catches Clarke completely off guard and causes her blood to run cold. Clarke goes to protest but Lexa holds up a finger to silence her swaying slightly on the spot. "No Clarke, listen, when I’m with you I feel... I feel like I'm whole, like I'm me, you know? If you leave me then how will I know who I am? I'll be broken." Lexa explains and Clarke's heart clenches in her chest painfully. Clarke takes a deep breath, the idea that Lexa thought she would be broken without her broke her heart completely, Lexa was so much without Clarke, the idea she would be any less was inane, but, then again, Lexa was drunk, she was babbling and she didn't have control over her words really. 

 

"I promise." Clarke agrees just to appease Lexa's drunken mind. The brunette relaxes, smiling at Clarke like the blonde hadn't just agreed that she'd let Lexa die first. Lexa would likely forget the conversation but Clarke would always know - she wasn't drunk enough to forget such a discussion. "You. Bed." Clarke orders - making Lexa sleep it off was the best bet for everyone really. The brunette scoffs and Clarke rolls her eyes, grabbing Lexa by the collar of her flannel, she begins to pull her towards the stairs. 

 

"Clarke!" Her mother greets and Lexa stops walking turning to face Abby with a huge grin. Clarke, sensing this could all turn out terrible, steps beside Lexa and steps in front of her slightly, almost protectively, and faces her mother. "Have you considered what I told you about?" Abby questions. 

 

"My fiancé does not wish to work at that hospital you keep forcing her to go to." Lexa pipes up and Clarke's eyes widen. She elbows Lexa in the ribs but the brunette barely even notices. "Clarke, tell her how you don't want to work there, that she's suffocating, what else did you say?" 

 

" _ Okay _ !" Clarke says covering Lexa's mouth. "Lexa's a little drunk, I’m going to take her to bed," Lexa wiggles her eyebrows and Clarke almost snorts at the gesture. "and she's going to sleep it off." Abby looked unimpressed and Clarke pushes Lexa towards the stairs stepping towards her mom when the brunette begins to climb. "Three years ago mom, Costia died three years ago today, and Lexa's a little drunk but I think she's entitled to feel a little... Upset." Clarke shouldn't need to excuse Lexa's drunkenness, they were both adults, they could both make their own decisions, but Abby looked severely unimpressed and Clarke felt she should try to get her to understand - so Lexa wouldn't have to deal with a cranky Abby later. Abby seems to soften and Clarke takes that as her opportunity to leave. She catches up with Lexa on the stairs, dreading the brunette might fall, and guides her towards her bedroom.

 

**//**

 

The next morning Clarke woke up feeling a little weird. She wasn't sure what was different but there was certainly something strange. That's when she realises what was making her feel weird: Lexa wasn't beside her anymore, she was underneath her. Somehow, in their sleep, Clarke had managed to manoeuvre herself on top of Lexa, tangling their legs together while Lexa lay beneath her with her arms wrapped loosely around Clarke's back. 

 

Clarke shifts, in an attempt to make this a little less awkward when Lexa finally woke up, but her movement draws a groan from Lexa. Clarke frowns before realising that her leg was positioned right between Lexa's legs, pressing against something that her leg really shouldn't be pressed against. Clarke shifts again and she feels Lexa's arms tighten for a second before going slack and the tiniest moan escapes her lips. 

 

Clarke's cheeks redden considerably at the fact that she just did that and she _liked_ it. Lexa hadn't had sex in two years- _No, no. Stop it Clarke._ _Why are you even thinking about Lexa's sex life?_ If Lexa knew the dirty thoughts that had just run through her fiancée's mind she would surely be disgusted. Clarke felt like a total creeper now and, suddenly, she realised that if Lexa's eyes were to open she'd surely think Clarke had attempted to mount her and totally think she was a perv. 

 

Clarke moves her leg, carefully, so as to not cause friction between body parts, and then rolls out of Lexa's arms. Unfortunately for her, she ends up rolling a little too much and she lands, quite loudly, on her front, on the floor. "Ow." Clarke says wincing ever so slightly. Lexa sits up right feeling a little funny -  _ was that arousal? _ \- when she hears Clarke's ‘ow’ from the ground. 

 

"Clarke?" Lexa asks peering over the edge of the bed. She raises an eyebrow at the blonde who lets out a puff of air to blow a strand of her blonde hair out of her face. "It's literally a double bed, how did you fall out of it?" Lexa asks and Clarke turns on her side propping her head up with her palm. 

 

"I'm fine thank you very much." Clarke retorts sarcastically and Lexa rolls her eyes. "So, um, are you okay?" Clarke asks a little awkwardly and Lexa gets the hint that maybe Clarke's talking about something else, and she's a little suspicious as to why she's so awkward about asking, but Lexa just shrugs it off. 

 

"I'm better." Lexa says with a genuine smile to make Clarke feel at ease. "Today I get to try on multiple suits until I find the perfect one for me. So I'm perfect." Lexa says sarcastically and Clarke laughs standing up from the floor. 

 

"Really? I didn't take you as the shopping type." Clarke replies equally as sarcastic. "Hey, it'll be fun, you'll have Lincoln and Anya, plus I'm pretty sure I'm like next door so Raven will most likely get bored and join you." Clarke shrugs and Lexa chuckles at that idea. "Okay, I'm thinking food." Clarke says feeling her stomach rumble and Lexa nods her head in agreement. 

 

Lexa stands up from the bed and pauses running a hand through her tangled curls. "I, uh, I have some things I need to attend to before I eat. I'll, um, see you downstairs?" Lexa asks shifting on her feet. Clarke's suspicious for five seconds before she remembers how they had woken up and suddenly she feels very flustered and she should  _ not  _ be thinking about Lexa doing  _ that _ . 

 

"Yeah, sure, just don't get lost." Clarke teases with a wink before exiting the bedroom. She shakes off all her weird energy that she seemed to have accumulated from the morning and makes her way downstairs hoping she wouldn't find herself in another compromising position with Lexa, well,  _ actually _ , hoping that she might end up being in a compromising position with Lexa soon.  _ Get your mind out of the gutter Clarke. _

 

**//**

 

Lexa was in hell. She was in actual, literal, hell. If there's anything Lexa dislikes more than talking to people it's being touched by them - at least the fitter was a woman. Lexa steps out from the changing room wearing another suit, the first one hadn't felt right, the second one didn't look right, and now here she was wearing yet another one but Lexa felt like maybe this could be the one. 

 

Lincoln was wearing a very nice tux, sitting on the edge of one of the very nice looking arm chairs that was sitting on the shop floor, Anya was sitting on the seat in a bridesmaid dress looking bored and fed up. Lincoln rises when he sees Lexa and he smiles wide at her with a goofy smile. "Wow Lex..." He says and Lexa resists the urge to blush - she wasn't used to people saying that kind of thing to her even if it was just Lincoln. "You look-" 

 

"Hot." Anya finishes Lincoln's sentence and it's clear from Lincoln's expression that that was not what he was going to say. 

 

"I was going to say beautiful but hot works too." He says and Lexa straightens her tie. It was simple really, but Lexa always did say less was more, it was a black blazer, black trousers, with a fitted white shirt and a skinny black tie. The suit was perfect for showing off Lexa's assets, despite the fact that it was, well,  _ a suit _ , it hugged her slim frame, highlighting the muscles she had gained from her training in boxing when she was younger, and the pants were tight enough to show off her long legs - although they were a little long. 

 

"You think?" Lexa asks looking at herself in the mirror. 

 

"If Clarke didn't have the hots for you before she sees you in that suit, she will after." Anya comments and Lexa rolls her eyes. That's when Lexa hears the door to the shop next door open. The store was a little strange: there was a door between the two so that Clarke could safely try on her dress -  _ dresses? _ \- without Lexa seeing, while Clarke wouldn't be able to see Lexa. 

 

Raven enters with a brown bag thrown over her shoulder and a huge grin on her face. She stops when she sees Lexa and her grin widens - if that was even possible. "Damn Lexa, and I thought I looked good." She comments closing the door. "I got you a gift, a wedding gift if you will." Raven hands the bag to Lexa who takes it with a confused frown. "I saw it and thought of you." Raven adds. 

 

Lexa opens the bag and sees a light grey hoodie folded neatly at the bottom of the bag. Lexa pulls the hoodie from the bottom and opens it out while Raven stares almost giddy. Lexa unfolds the hoodie, still completely baffled by Raven's obvious amusement and excitement, it was only a hoodie, it was nothing special as far as Lexa knew. Lexa holds it out in front of herself to see that the hoodie had some text across the front. "Say hey if you're gay?" Lexa asks reading the text off the front. She looks at Raven, raising an eyebrow at the mechanic who was now laughing. 

 

"Isn't it cute?" Raven asks. "I got Clarke a one that says ‘say hi if you're bi’. She loved it." Raven says and Lexa can't help but laugh, she can't help but smile at this ridiculous gift that Raven had bought her, because it was  _ so  _ Raven and it warmed her heart - not to mention it was pretty fucking funny when you thought about it. 

 

"Thank you Raven." Lexa says shaking her head. 

 

"You're welcome green eyes, don't mention it." Raven winks at the brunette and Lexa laughs again. Raven was something else entirely, Lexa was pretty sure she'd never met anyone else like the girl. 

 

The fitter comes into the room, and wedges herself between Lexa and Raven, fiddling with the fabric of the suit, her hands touch the bottom of Lexa pants as she begins feeling them. Lexa's face must be a picture because Raven starts laughing to the point of tears. "You look lovely Miss Woods," the fitter comments when she's done groping the brunette -  _ okay _ , maybe not  _ groping _ , but Lexa still didn't like the way that she just placed her hands on her. "I think we should adjust this here," she points to the bottom of the pants which were a tad bit long "maybe draw this in a little more, to show off that slim figure of yours, but overall I think this is the one." She beams at Lexa in that totally annoying way that salespeople do.

 

"Fan-fucking-tastic." Anya mutters and Lexa glares at her best friend to keep her comments to herself. 

 

"Thank you Vivian, I agree, I think this is the one." Lexa replies cogently with a polite smile. Anya rolls her eyes and mouths 'suck up' that Lexa sees just over the woman's shoulder. 

 

"Your bride looks absolutely stunning in her dress. You're very lucky." The woman says taking the jacket from Lexa. 

 

"I can imagine." Lexa responds. Clarke was beautiful to begin with but Clarke in a wedding dress was probably going to make Lexa's jaw hit the ground. Lexa excuses herself while she goes to change and exits the changing room in her ordinary clothes to find Jake waiting outside. 

 

"Mr Griffin." Lexa says a little confused by his presence. Anya had changed back into her normal clothes too, along with Lincoln, and Lexa glances at them for an answer to which they just shrug their shoulders at. 

 

"Please, Lexa, call me Jake." He says with a big broad smile. Clarke certainly took after her father - he was quite clearly the laid back free spirit that Clarke was. 

 

"Oh, okay." Lexa says a little awkwardly. "Clarke's next door if you want to speak to her?" Lexa asks and Jake shakes his head smiling even wider than before. 

 

"No, I wanted to speak to you." Jake says and Lexa's eyes widen for a moment in panic.  _ Why would Jake want to speak to her? Did she do something wrong?  _ Jake's chuckle catches Lexa's attention and she finds him staring at her with his blue eyes glowing with amusement in the same way that Clarke's did. "How about you and I go out for lunch?" He asks and Lexa nods. 

 

Lexa begins following the older Griffin out the shop, throwing her friends a worried glance and they both just shrug. Anya was smirking in a teasing way while Lincoln was smiling supportively - Raven must have left. Lexa didn't know what Jake wanted but she was nervous beyond belief about having lunch with her father-in-law.

 

**//**

They arrive at a restaurant just down the street. Lexa didn't pay much attention to the name of it, since she was too busy worrying about what Jake wanted to discuss then she was about her surroundings, but the place seemed nice - plus it was quite a nice sunny day so Jake suggested they eat outside to which Lexa agreed. "Mr Griffin, it's so good to see you." The hostess greets him with a broad smile, like they were old friends, and Lexa rubs her neck nervously trying to control herself. It's ridiculous, she shouldn't be this nervous, it was no big deal when she really thought about it, but something about having lunch with your father-in-law really sparked fear in Lexa's gut. "You don't visit as much." She comments and Lexa tunes in to the conversation in case she was integrated into it in some kind of way. 

 

"It's been far too long." Jake agrees. "I guess I should check up on my investments more often but this place always seems to be doing just fine." Jake winks at her with a playful smile and Lexa frowns from behind him.  _ So he owned this place? _ Lexa knew that Clarke's father was an investor and a businessman but she had no idea he invested in things like restaurants - she was sure he was in the stock market or something but, then again, she knew nothing about that. "It's a nice day today so I was thinking about eating outside." Jake continues and the woman smiles, grabbing two menus and gesturing for the pair to follow. 

 

"Right this way Mr Griffin." She says walking past them. Jake smiles reassuringly at Lexa and the brunette follows him outside to a small table in the corner that was next to the window. There were a few people eating outside and more inside but, mostly, it was quiet - Lexa had a feeling the place was more busy during dinner time. 

 

They sit down at the table and the hostess lays the menus in front of them smiling wide - Lexa wasn't sure if that was genuine or if it was just for show. "Let me know when you're ready to order." She says. Lexa opens her menu and begins flipping through it feeling awfully tense and awkward especially in the silence. 

 

"You can relax Lexa." Jake says lightly with a playful wink. "I mean, I know I'm threatening and all but I didn't think I was  _ that  _ threatening." He says and Lexa finds herself relaxing slightly with a smile finding its way to her lips at Jake's words. They take a moment to scan the menu when the hostess, doubled waitress, comes back to take their order. "I'll have the usual." Jake says handing the menu back and Lexa wonders why Jake even bothered to read it if he already knew what he wanted and if he didn't even need to tell her what he wanted. 

 

"Okay." The woman nods turning her eyes to Lexa. Lexa doesn't like the look she gets from the woman, their judging her, asking the silent question 'why is she even here?', as though Lexa didn't belong with people like Jake Griffin or of his obvious social standing. 

 

Lexa almost wanted to snap at her but a look is not enough to throw a hissy fit over so Lexa swallows her annoyance. "I'll have the burger." Lexa says handing the menu back. 

 

"Can I get you two any drinks?" She asks. Jake looks at Lexa and they both seemingly come to a silent agreement which surprises the brunette that they could understand each other so well when they barely even knew each other. 

 

"Just water, that'll be fine Janet." Jake says and the woman, Janet, nods before walking away to go fetch their orders. Lexa focuses back on Jake as the woman leaves and the older Griffin looks back at her with his sky blue eyes. 

 

"This is nothing sinister Lexa," Jake begins as the woman whisks in carrying their water. "I just wanted to get to know my daughter in law." Jake finishes and the woman stumbles, barely noticeable, but Lexa notices and she can't help but grin smugly at the sight. 

 

"Of course Mr Griff- Jake." Lexa corrects herself blushing slightly in embarrassment. The woman leaves again and Jake smiles happily at her. 

 

"I'm happy that you and Clarke seem to be getting on so well." Jake replies and a smile spreads across Lexa's face involuntarily at the mention of her fiancée. "She seems to be very fond of you." He comments. "I heard you mouthed off to my wife last night." Jake says and Lexa's heart stops in her chest. Lexa couldn't remember that, she couldn't remember talking to Abby at all.  _ Why wouldn't Clarke have told her? She could've done with a warning. _

 

Jake laughs at Lexa's expression, which seems to ease Lexa enough for her heart to stop beating ridiculously. "I got an earful from her about it." Jake carries on. " _ 'What does she know about that? She has no idea. Clarke should listen to her mother. I'm not being suffocating. _ '" Jake imitates Abby's tone and it's a little hilarious but Lexa has no idea what she said to Clarke's mother and she feels awfully embarrassed about the whole thing. 

 

"I'm so sorry Mr Griffin, I had-" Lexa begins but Jake silences her with a look: his eyes warm and playful. 

 

"You were drunk." He shrugs. "It's hard to hold your tongue when you're drunk." Lexa chuckles nervously. "I think Abby needed to hear it though, I love her dearly but sometimes she is a little overbearing on Clarke." Jake says it with a sad smile fuelled by past experiences, starting with the piano lessons and ballet school forced on their daughter when she was only in third grade, to the numerous extracurricular activities she enrolled Clarke in the following years. "Clarke's talented but sometimes I just wanted her to experience life like a normal kid, or teenager, or adult, whatever." 

 

"I understand." Lexa replies. Okay, maybe she didn't completely understand, but she got it. Lexa has never been under that pressure herself but seeing Clarke and her mother the past month or so gave her a pretty good idea - especially when Clarke vented to Lexa about it. 

 

"Don't worry Lexa, I'm sure Abby will forgive you, though you might want to make your apology snappy." He smiles brightly at the brunette which eases her worry on the subject a little - she wants to know what she said but she's a little afraid to ask. "So," Jake takes a deep breath. "I'm curious, did you always want to be a lawyer?" He asks. The woman sweeps in and places their food in front of them which, admittedly, did look pretty good. 

 

"Well, kind of." Lexa shrugs. "There was this one period of time I wanted to join the army, almost signed up and everything." Jake's interest must have been peaked because he lowers his fork and looks at Lexa in slight shock. 

 

"Really?" He asks. It's not teasing, or in total disbelief, it's curious, it's  _ interested _ . "What changed?" 

 

"Well my mom didn't love the idea, she told me she didn't want me to apply because there was a chance I’d be coming back in a wooden box." Lexa explains and Jake nods understanding that, although maybe that might have never had happened, because Lexa did seem like the level headed, strong, individual that would excel in leading a task force on missions in a hostile environment, he understood the panic that would have on a parent. "The other reason was my uncle." Lexa admits. 

 

"Your uncle?" Jake asks not seeing the connection and Lexa admits that if you didn't know the story then you probably wouldn't know the connection. 

 

"Yeah." Lexa says and Jake can tell by her tone that it's a sad story, one that she may not want to relive, and, judging by her hesitant pause, he knows that's probably the case. "He was a good man." Lexa says and the ‘was’ says enough for Jake to know to move the conversation on. 

 

"So, a lawyer?" He raises his eyebrows. "Bit of a drastic change don't you think?" 

 

"I'd always been interested in law, I just figured maybe I'd join law enforcement or something, but then one day my mom suggested we go visit a law school, just to open up my options about what I may want to do in the future, she apparently knew the dean, so I agreed, and I was hooked." Lexa's face lights up. "Law is so interesting if you don't view it in the paper work, arguing, money kind of way. There's so many angles to it and you can give justice to those who deserve it. Police officers may catch the criminals but it's down to me to put them away and there's a certain kind of pride to that that you just can't get anywhere else." Lexa explains and Jake smiles nodding his head in approval. 

 

"Well I believe Clarke's always wanted to be a doctor. Ever since she was five she used to use a fake stethoscope to listen to my heart and then she'd get this really cute concerned look when it didn't work." He chuckles at the memory and Lexa can't help but smile at the thought of a little five year old blonde looking at her dad with concern lighting her eyes when she couldn't hear his heart beating. "Abby used to give her her real one, she once cried for hours when she couldn't hear my heart and the only way we could calm her down was by using Abby's real one to listen to it." Lexa laughs at that. It was obvious that Clarke cared for Jake, even from a young age, and there was something really endearing about the fact that Clarke was so obviously a daddy's girl.  "As for me, business has been in my veins for as long as I can remember. My dad used to own the company, I do now, it was passed down to me." He explains. Lexa nods her head as they finish up their food. 

 

"Clarke loves being a doctor, I know she does, but she's also loved to paint, and I know Abby doesn't think that being an artist is a real job, but I always thought we should support her, you know? So I bought an art gallery, even got Clarke to hang a few paintings in there and then Abby started to make a big deal, show off to her friends about it," Jake frowns in disapproval. "Clarke didn't like to paint for people after that." Lexa remembered Clarke telling her that she only let her mother hang the paintings around the house because she felt like her mom was just trying to flaunt her talent and success in other people's faces and that's not why she wanted to paint - it was the same with the doctor thing. "I think she needs to be reminded of her love of art and her love of healing people." Jake says looking Lexa right in the eyes. 

 

"She still knows." Lexa replies honestly - God knows Clarke was healing Lexa. Jake nods his head in agreement but his eyes were sad because Clarke had still forgotten just  _ how  _ much she loved those things. 

 

"You're good for her Lexa, you remind her of what's good in the world, she lost that after Finn." Jake says and Lexa tenses. "Finn was a good man, he was funny, you know, of course he wasn't good enough for Clarke, but no man, or woman, is ever good enough for a man's daughter." He winks at Lexa who chuckles nervously. "He made her happy, which was all I could ask for, until he didn't." Lexa swallows nervously - she knew about Finn's death but she had a feeling Jake was about to tell Lexa something that she didn't know fully. 

 

"I think Clarke kind of fell out of love with him, she just didn't realise it, you know? She loved him so much, and she wanted to hang onto him, so they started arguing more frequently, and then that argument that they had, the night that he died, Clarke blames herself because she thinks she should've broke it off with him before things got out of control, so they would have both been alive and happy and maybe even still friends." Jake says and Lexa didn't know what to say. "She says she just wished she'd answered his calls, that's what she says to people to explain why she blames herself, but that's not the  _ real  _ reason. So when people tell her it's not her fault for that reason, she doesn't believe them, because that's not the truth, that's not really why she blames herself." 

 

"It wasn't her fault." The words slip from Lexa's mouth without warning but Jake doesn't seem to disagree. 

 

"Clarke's always been like that, carrying the weight of her mistakes but never letting it show how much it weighs her down, but Finn was too much. Everyone saw what that did to her." He carries on. "She pretended she was fine, even with the panic attacks, the nightmares, everything, but then her mother and I decided maybe she just needed someone to share that weight with, to help her. Then we met your mother, Abby said she knew someone who had a daughter going through a similar thing and we all agreed to put you two into this marriage and it seems to be working, don't you agree?" Jake looks at her carefully and Lexa understands the weight of his question: what he's really asking  _ 'Do you care about my daughter? Do you love her?' _ Lexa takes a moment, she liked Clarke, a lot, but love? She wasn't sure she was capable of that anymore. She did care though, she cared about Clarke deeply. Lexa nods her head in silent agreement and Jake’s grin widens at her satisfied with that answer. 

 

Jake begins pulling out notes for their lunch, swatting Lexa away when she goes to grab her own wallet. Lexa sits there for a moment, chewing the inside of her cheek in thought. Clarke just needed to be reminded of the things she loved and  _ why  _ she loved them so much. Lexa gets an idea, one that she hopes will revive that light inside of Clarke once and for all. "Jake," Lexa says and the man pauses looking up to meet Lexa's determined green eyes. "Where did you say that art gallery of yours was?" She asks and Jake gives her a knowing smile.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this chapter so much. I can't decide what was my most favourite part. Hungover Raven, never have I ever, Clarke stopping to make Lexa feel better, drunk Lexa mouthing off to Abby, Clexa waking up in an awkward position, or Lexa freaking out about talking to Jake, it was all just great to write. Anyway, inspiration for Lexa's suit was thanks to fine stud Lexa edits on Tumblr ;) Drop me a comment telling me about your thoughts and, just so you know, I'm very excited for the next chapter - maybe a little angst but don't worry too much :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I didn't take you for rebel Lex." Clarke teases and Lexa gives her a playful smile. 
> 
> "That's me, I'm a rule breaker." Lexa responds and Clarke snorts at such a comment. 
> 
> "Please, you're a lawyer Lexa, you're practically built to follow the rules." Clarke says rolling her eyes and Lexa brings a hand to her chest in mock hurt. 
> 
> "I'll have you know that I once shoplifted." Lexa points out and Clarke rises her eyebrows.
> 
> Or the chapter where everything goes... *insert descriptive word here that resembles: asdfghjkl*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, how to describe this chapter... I can't, you'll just have to read it ;) I'd like to say thanks to @broadwaybound2016 for your comment, it made my day, and @jaybonesss23, loved reading your comment. Actually, thank you for all the comments and kudos, it really means a lot to me and I'll have to start replying more often because I'm terrible at that. Anyway, without further a do, enjoy this chapter!

**2 Weeks Later... (5 months and 1 week till the wedding)**

 

Lexa had apologised to Abby as soon as possible, and the older Griffin had told her it was fine, but Lexa was learning that she was quite the dodger of people. She avoided Abby like she was the plague, only seeing her when necessary and never any other time, the woman wasn't intimidating exactly but Lexa just didn't want to get caught up with her… or to die from awkwardness. Clarke had been around but, lately, she had been talking with Lexa's mom quite a lot which Lexa should be happy about but the only in-law that she seemed to be making progress with was Jake Griffin. 

 

Lincoln was back in Arkadia, Anya had returned to school, although she was almost finished and promised Lexa that she would come and annoy her as soon as possible, and Raven had been hanging around the estate more often than usual claiming that she was simply honing her craft by tinkering with cars and other mechanical things. 

 

Lexa had managed to find out where the art gallery, that Jake had purchased, was and she planned on taking Clarke out on a very nice date and maybe she'd finally tell the blonde how she was feeling. It was undeniable now, Lexa knew her feelings were true, and strong, for the blonde - Anya and Raven even teased that she had something called heart eyes every time she looked at Clarke. 

 

It scared Lexa, she hadn't felt this way about someone in a really long time and she wasn't sure if she could ever really open up that part of her again - she thought it had been closed down awhile ago. Not only did Clarke make her feel things, that Lexa thought she was incapable of feeling again, she also made her  _ feel  _ things if you know what she means. Lexa never really had been big on the whole sex thing but,  _ Clarke _ , Clarke made her feel damn insane. She made her feel like she was someone else, but in good way, Lexa felt good, better even, when she was around the blonde. 

 

Lexa couldn't really remember what she had said when she was drunk but she did remember slurring some stuff to Clarke and the blonde refused to tell Lexa what exactly that was claiming that ‘it wasn't important’ and that ‘it was just drunken rambling’ but Lexa got the sense that maybe that wasn't the case - Lexa tended to get deep when she was drunk so it was totally possible that she'd said some emotional crap that she hadn't meant to let slip. 

 

Currently, Lexa was just relaxing in bed, she liked to be lazy from time to time, although, it was rare since usually she was always doing something. Clarke was off somewhere, talking to Lexa's mother, she thinks, about what, she didn't know, so Lexa had to entertain herself. She still needed to talk to the blonde about going out tonight but that could wait a little while. Instead she was watching reruns of Friends on her laptop after Clarke had specifically told Lexa that she could not, under any circumstances, watch season 4 of Orange is the New Black without her. 

 

Things had shifted with Clarke to a place that she almost hadn't expected them to: things were almost domestic between them. After living in the apartment in Arkadia, and the decision to sleep in the same bed, Lexa and Clarke were living like they had been living together all their lives and they easily fell into a domestic dynamic with the cleaning up after one another and even sharing of items like clothing - Lexa was certain she would never tire of seeing Clarke in one of her shirts. 

 

The door to the bedroom opens and Clarke walks in, collapsing on the bed beside Lexa without so much as a hello. She shifts and grabs a pillow, moving down the bed and lying on her stomach like Lexa was, and settles in front of the laptop screen. Both of their feet were bent and bare and Lexa chose not to say anything about the fact that their legs and feet were touching in the air. "What are we watching?" Clarke asks snuggling into her pillow. Lexa looks down at the blonde who already had her eyes closed and shakes her head in fond amusement - Clarke was definitely lazy but it was cute. 

 

"Well I'm watching Friends, looks like you're sleeping." Lexa comments and Clarke lets out a breathy laugh. 

 

"Hmm." She hums. "I'm listening intently." She says after a moment and Lexa rolls her eyes but the fond smile that had formed on her lips doesn't leave for a second. "I know you just rolled your eyes." Clarke says - even in her sleep she knew Lexa that well. 

 

"It's the one with Ross’ tan." Lexa answers Clarke's previous questions. "It's one of my favourites." 

 

"Mine too." Clarke replies. "Actually happened to me once." 

 

"Shut up." Lexa says in disbelief. Clarke cracks her eyes open and peers up at the brunette who clearly didn't believe her. 

 

"Seriously, Raven recommended we get fake tans, don't ask me why, she's weird like that, anyway, I'd never been, got really confused and came home practically orange. It was terrible." Clarke explains. "Never get a fake tan Lex… not that you have to." She says and Lexa laughs softly. 

 

Lexa was still unsure of how to breach the topic of Finn. After what Jake had told Lexa she had questions but she wasn't sure how to ask them, it's not like she could just bring up Clarke's lost lover, that would be insensitive, and Lexa knew she wouldn't like the topic being sprung on her - especially if she was just falling into a calm sleep. "I need to talk to you." Lexa says after a moment of silence. Clarke had resumed her sleeping on the pillow but she opens her eyes when she hears Lexa's words. 

 

"Shoot." She says and Lexa turns on her side, not bothering with the laptop anymore, and Clarke follows suit though she remains with her head on the pillow. 

 

"So, I kind of have a surprise for you tonight." Lexa admits and Clarke cocks an eyebrow in surprise. "Obviously, I'm not going to tell you what it is, or where we're going, but I'm confident that you'll like it." 

 

"If you're planning on kidnapping me, I'd really like to know in advance." Clarke says with a playful smile. Lexa shakes her head but rolls off of the bed, closing her laptop and placing it on the nearby desk. 

 

"Actually, speaking of kidnapping." Lexa says with a smirk.

 

"Okay, Lex, if a sentence starts off with ‘speaking of kidnapping’ then I’m concerned." Clarke says sitting up. Lexa goes over to her duffle bag, that she still hadn't bothered to unpack, and pulls out a little box that was inside. She walks over to Clarke and hands the blonde the box with a nervous look in her eyes. Clarke was still wearing her engagement ring, so it definitely wasn't that, but she also didn't know what would be small enough to fit in such a box. 

 

She opens the lid and can practically feel Lexa's nerves rolling off of her in waves, it's a little distracting, and it's making Clarke a little nervous, but it's also incredibly endearing that the brunette is anxious about what Clarke thinks about whatever it was that she had given her. She pulls the lid all the way off to reveal a key nestled at the bottom of the shallow small box. Clarke pulls it out, a little confused as to why there was a key in a box and why Lexa was so nervous about it. "It's a key..." Clarke says trying to sound enthusiastic but coming off as utterly confused. Lexa laughs and takes the key from the blonde. 

 

"It's the key to my apartment." Lexa explains. "I know we kind of talked about where we would live when we finally got married and I figured, well, I mean, I thought- you seemed to like Arkadia." Lexa was still a nervous mess and it had Clarke's heart swelling in her chest at the sight along with a broad smile at how adorable it was that Lexa was so flustered by herself. The brunette rubs the back of her neck nervously, a trait that Clarke had only recently discovered, usually, Lexa was so well put together that you would never suspect that she was nervous but she has that nervous little tick that gives her away. "So I thought I'd give you a key to my apartment... unless you don't want to live there, we could talk more about it, I don't want to assu-" Clarke cuts the brunette off by kissing her0 on the cheek. 

 

"It's perfect Lexa." Clarke says softly lifting the key up to examine it better. Truthfully, she was looking forward to the prospect of living with Lexa and the only reason they hadn't gone back to Arkadia yet was because Clarke had given Lexa's mom two weeks to tell Lexa about her...  _ situation _ . Clarke had almost cracked twice: one of them had been when she had walked in on Lexa and Raven playing hungry hippos, it was ridiculous, and childish, and Clarke had laughed hysterically at the sight of the lawyer playing a kids game with her best friend, but the innocence of it all just made Clarke feel guilty about hiding the truth from her fiancée. The second time had been when Lexa had been reading some kind of book before bed, she was wearing her glasses, which were perched on the end of her nose, her hair was tied up in a messy bun and she was smiling slightly at whatever she was reading and Clarke just felt her heart ache because she didn't know -  _ she didn't know _ . 

 

Clarke stands up and grabs her keys off of her desk, hooking the key onto one of the keyrings there, before turning to face Lexa. Three times. Three times Clarke had almost cracked. Lexa was looking at her with wide green eyes that were so soft and she was smiling happily, as though Clarke accepting a key had been the best thing to ever happen to her, but Clarke couldn't give in - even if those forest green eyes made her want to break. "If you want to sleep I can leave?" Lexa asks breaking Clarke's reverie. Clarke shakes her head, she didn't want to sleep now she wanted to spend time with Lexa. 

 

"You know something I've never done?"'Clarke asks and Lexa raises her eyebrows. "Horseback riding." Lexa laughs nervously, confusedly, and shakes her head at the odd confession. "Do you want to go?" Clarke asks. Lexa stares at her, probably waiting for the punchline because it was so out of the blue, and weird, but, when it doesn't come, the brunette's brow furrows in confusion in that totally cute way that Clarke loves. 

 

"Like right now?" Lexa asks and Clarke chuckles. 

 

"Yes right now." Clarke replies. "Unless you'd rather play hungry hippos?" Clarke teases and Lexa rolls her eyes. 

 

"You're never going to let me live that down are you?" Lexa asks. 

 

"Not a chance." Clarke replies. "So what do you say?" She raises her eyebrows and Lexa considers it for a moment with a smirk spreading across her face. 

 

"Giddy up cowboy." Lexa says and Clarke bursts out laughing. 

 

"Oh my God! You did not just say that." Clarke asks and Lexa shrugs her shoulders with that smirk still plastered on her face. That smirk was, well, that smirk was panty dropping worthy - Lexa had no idea what that smirk did for her. The brunette excuses herself to the bathroom and Clarke lets out a breath. Hiding her feelings, and Lexa's mom's secret, was beginning to become too hard. Clarke had to tell Lexa about how she felt before she spontaneously combusted. 

 

**//**

 

Clarke drives them since Lexa had no clue where to go. The small ranch that they drive to isn't exactly anything special but it's cute and authentic in a way that Lexa hadn't been expecting it to be. The brunette had disappeared to go get changed which Clarke didn't know what that meant but she had seen Lexa chatting with the owner before. Clarke was saddling a horse, listening to the man instructing her in what to do, before he begins saddling up Lexa's horse too. He checks over Clarke's work and praises her when he sees that she did it right. 

 

He was a kind guy, bulky, with quite a big beard, Clarke was sure his name had been Nyko and he seemed like a really nice man only giving Clarke sincere smiles and warm eyes. The blonde looks around, Lexa was  _ still  _ absent, it was a beautiful day in Polis. That was one thing that Clarke would miss, if anything, about the countryside: it was inexplicably beautiful, especially on warm sunny days like that of today. Every now and again a breeze would roll through, blowing through Clarke's curls, and she'd let out a small sigh of satisfaction. 

 

The ranch had a path leading out of it that Clarke assumed would be a trail that they would have to follow. Clarke's horse was a beautiful mare, it was white, with big brown eyes and a silky mane, while Lexa's was a black steed with a white line running down its face. Clarke tried to not see the irony in the fact that their horses had stark differences in colour and build but the artist in her, the side that looked for meaning in everything, couldn't help but see the similarities between Lexa and Clarke's horses to Lexa and Clarke themselves: Lexa was dark and mysterious, strong and beautiful, yet she had that little bit of light in her, the humanity that drew Clarke to her so much. Clarke was light and easy going, blonde hair instead of brunette and she was more fragile but still just as magnificent. 

 

Clarke whirls around when she hears the door open to the ranch and out steps Lexa. Only Lexa's changed and Clarke feels her jaw drop to the floor in utter shock. Stepping out of the ranch, looking like a modern day cowboy, was no other than Lexa fucking Woods. She was wearing the jeans she had left in, as well as her button down shirt, but the top few buttons had been undone, a red bandanna was tied around her neck, she had a suede brown jacket with tassels on the arms, she had switched out her belt for a more traditional western looking one that had a huge buckle, where her hands happened to be resting, along with cowboy boots that her jeans tucked nicely into and her hair was down, flowing in all of its curly glory instead of the bun it had been in, and she was wearing an actual cowboy hat. Clarke's mouth runs dry at the sight and she'd be very surprised if she wasn't visibly drooling over the sight in front of her. "Holy shit." Clarke says breathlessly - Lexa was too far away to hear which she was very thankful for. " _ Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit _ ." Clarke says, quite quickly, to herself. She was very aware that the man, Nyko, could hear her but so long as Lexa couldn't Clarke couldn't hold back her language when she looked at the unreal goddess in front of her. 

 

Lexa walks forward, removing her hat and holding it to her chest with that smirk on her face that had Clarke practically dying on the inside. "Good day ma'am." Lexa greets bringing the hat to her chest and then placing it back on her head. This was a side to Lexa that Clarke had never seen, sure, she had seen that Lexa was down to earth while she could also be the uptight lawyer type, but this was  _ down  _ to earth, this was like a whole new layer of Lexa, the brunette was dressed like a damn cowgirl for Christ’s sake. 

 

"Lexa..." Clarke trails off realising her mouth was still catching flies. "How did you-? What-? What the fuck?" It wasn't exactly tasteful but Lexa had seriously limited Clarke's vocabulary at that point and there wasn't much else she could say. 

 

"Clarke, this is Nyko." Lexa says gesturing to the man. "He was friends with my uncle." Lexa explains. Clarke looks over at the man who gives her a broad smile in response. 

 

"Wait, I thought, but- So you know how to ride a horse?" Clarke was confused as far as she knew Lexa hadn't left the city other than when she'd gone to college and law school. 

 

"Yeah, kind of." Lexa pats the horse’s behind and Clarke stares at her dumbfounded. "When I got out of the city, for college, there was this really crappy place that you could have lessons, it was bad, but, luckily, I'm a great self teacher." Lexa beams and Clarke almost snorts - Lexa was such a dork and a nerd. "Nyko used to know my uncle Gus when he was, er, when he was alive. So when I saw him here, I was a little surprised." Clarke gets the feeling that maybe Lexa fell out of touch with Nyko - especially with the sad look she shoots in his direction. This was new information to Clarke too; she didn't realise that Lexa had lost an uncle - or that she'd even had an uncle. 

 

"Imagine my surprise when little Lex shows up with a beautiful blonde who's wearing a large rock on her finger." Nyko comments and Lexa laughs. 

 

"I'm not little anymore." Lexa protests and Nyko chuckles, it's deep, and almost reminds Clarke of Santa's laugh, but it's also kind of cute. 

 

"No, you're not." He agrees. "Anyway, I trust Lexa's riding skills, always knew she had a little cowboy buried in there, she's a wild one Clarke, better watch her." Nyko winks, playfully patting Lexa on the shoulder. "I trust you to treat my horses with care and, if one becomes too difficult on the trail, Lex should know what to do." He says and Clarke looks at him. 

 

"You're not coming?" Clarke asks. It makes her a little nervous that Nyko wasn't tagging along, mainly because Clarke's a total newbie, but if Lexa was going to be there it wouldn't be that bad. 

 

"Don't worry Clarke, I'm sure little Lex will look out for you." Nyko reassures. "Oh, almost forgot." He takes off the hat he had been wearing and places it on Clarke's head, it’s a little big but it's comfortable and Clarke tilts it back slightly to clear her vision. "Can't have the little lady being blinded on the trail." He says walking away. Lexa steps towards Clarke and gestures to the horse. The blonde turns to it and Lexa helps her climb into the saddle, making sure her feet were in correctly and that the blonde had a hold on the reins. 

 

"Thanks." Clarke says once she's seated. Lexa leans against the horse slightly, looking up at the blonde with a beautiful smile. 

 

"My pleasure." She says. In one smooth motion the brunette brings her hand up to the front of her hat and pulls the rim of it down slightly. "Ma'am." She says before walking to go climb up her own horse. Clarke's ovaries really felt like they were going to explode.  _ Western Lexa? Cowgirl Lexa? _ It was like God wanted Clarke to jump the girl right then and there. Clarke felt like she'd only scratched the surface of Lexa, like there was so much she didn't know. 

 

She hears the gentle thud of hooves and then Lexa's beside her, holding the reins of her horse with one hand, she's smiling, lopsided, her green eyes matching the surrounding trees, and then Clarke forgets about not knowing who Lexa is - she know exactly who Lexa is and a part of her thinks maybe she always has. "You ready?" Lexa asks with her eyebrows knitting together. 

 

"Do your worse." Clarke retorts, with a teasing smile, spurring her horse into action. Lexa watches Clarke for a moment as the girl unsurely trots on ahead, she was obviously a little weary but Lexa was with her and that always made Clarke feel at ease. 

 

"Sure thing princess." She shakes her head spurring her own horse forward to catch up with the blonde.

 

**//**

 

Clarke was a fast learner and she'd pretty much got to grips with the basics of horse riding. It was a strange feeling at first, the saddle was comfortable and fitted Clarke perfectly, like a seat made especially for her, her legs were pressed against the horse's sides, her feet in the stirrups, you had to rock with the horse as it moved, otherwise the ride was very bumpy and uncomfortable, and Clarke finally understood what the hell rocking horses were inspired by. 

 

Lexa, on the other hand, was riding like a pro, it almost looked lazy, like it was no big deal, and like she'd been riding horses her whole life. She helped Clarke when she needed it, and her mare could be a little unpredictable at times, which put Clarke on edge, but Lexa was always there with her, smooth, calming, voice, that made Clarke relax and just think before she panicked. 

 

They were just strolling along the trail, the sun high in the sky, with the scent of nature making it seem like they were in their own little world and that's honestly what it felt like. "So," Clarke looks over at Lexa who had her eyes closed and head tilted up at the sun. She seemed to have formed some kind of bond with her horse, like she was some kind of horse whisper, and she trusted the horse to keep her on the right track when she wasn't paying attention. "your uncle?" Clarke wasn't sure how else to ask, she was curious, and Lexa hadn't explained much further. The brunette opens her eyes and looks over at Clarke while adjusting her hat to see the blonde clearly. 

 

"Died in the line of duty my senior year." Lexa answers the question that Clarke had really been asking. "His name was Gustus but everyone called him Gus. He was a good man, way too protective of me." Lexa smiles fondly with the memory. "He taught me everything that my mom couldn't. Don't get me wrong, my mom taught me everything I  _ needed  _ to know, but sometimes you just need a dad to teach you dad things." Lexa shrugs. "He was like a father figure, way too protective, but it was cute. I'd never known my dad so, having uncle Gus there was good for me, he told me to say strong when I was having trouble at school, he even went to see a few of the kids who treated me badly." 

 

"He sounds like he really cared about you." Clarke replies softly. 

 

"He did, he was one of the reasons I thought about joining the army, but then he died." Lexa says. Clarke looks over at the brunette who was staring down at her hands and the blonde realises that she may have opened a wound there. 

 

"Tell me a story about him?" Clarke suggests. "What did he teach you?" Lexa thinks for a moment before an embarrassed smile makes its way to her face and she blushes a little. Clarke catches it immediately and she gives Lexa a look to tell her not to skip that story because it was clearly embarrassing and she wanted to know all the juicy details. 

 

"He, er, well, he kind of- he was the one who gave me  _ the talk _ ." Lexa shudders. "My mom's excuse was that the dad was supposed to give the talk, and she didn't really know how to give it to me, enter uncle Gus with his pamphlets and his vivid, oh god Clarke, the vivid explanations of safe sex, no thank you, worst experience of my life." Lexa says and Clarke laughs hysterically. The mental image of a preteen Lexa getting ‘the talk’ was hilarious and, considering Lexa kind of seemed like a prude now, at the age she is, Clarke couldn't imagine what she was like as a teenager. 

 

"I was glad it was him in the end though, getting it from my mom, I don't even want to think about that." Lexa pulls a face, trying to shake the idea out of her head, and then looks at Clarke. "So what about you? When did the dreaded talk for you happen?" 

 

"I had two talks." Clarke reveals and Lexa raises her eyebrows in surprise. "When I started dating Finn we were off again on again for a while, sometimes I saw people in between, but it was mainly boys. I guess I just assumed I was straight, and so did my parents, so that's why I got the penis talk." Clarke shrugs. "Then comes the end of sophomore year, Finn's being a jackass, so I go to a party, where there happens to be a girl who catches my attention," Clarke looks over at Lexa who was listening intently. "some girls had been doing that to me lately, I just thought I was confused, but there happened to be alcohol, thanks to it being a senior party, so I was drunk, took the girl home, God knows how I snuck her into the house, we didn't do anything," Clarke pulls a face. "just made out, I was a sophomore, but that's like practically having sex, plus, she passed out in my bed, my dad came in to check on me and, Lexa, I shit you not, we must have fallen asleep making out because my hand was under her shirt and we were practically on top of each other." Lexa laughs loudly and it's like a song to Clarke's ears, she always felt blessed when she heard Lexa's laugh, there was no other sound that compared to it. "Yeah, after that he gave me the girl talk, just to be safe for future reference, never told my mom until junior year when I realised I was bisexual." Clarke explains. 

 

"What was that like?" Lexa asks curiously. "Coming out I mean?" Clarke lets out a long sigh tugging on the reins when she feels her horse begin to become unsettled again. 

 

"Hard." Clarke says. "Well, kind of, my mom didn't speak to me for months, I was head cheerleader though, totally popular, so anyone who shit on me was in the line of fire, plus having a best friend who has a thing for explosions helps." Clarke smiles fondly at the memory of Raven suggesting she put firecrackers in a girl's locker when she'd talked down to Clarke once. "Finn became a little insecure," Clarke frowns. "I just wanted to be out, be who I was you know, it didn't mean I was going to leave him for a girl, that's not what being bisexual means, it just means that I like girls and I like boys, but he seemed to think that I might tire of him and just want to switch one day." Lexa remains silent, she's heard all these prejudices before, it was like people didn't want to believe that bisexuals exist, well they do, and they're beautiful, and Clarke Griffin is one. 

 

"He got over it I guess, he used to bring it up a lot when we fought though." That catches Lexa's attention. She remembers what Jake had told her, about them fighting regularly, and that Clarke had fallen out of love a little with the boy before the incident that had happened with him losing his life. 

 

At that precise moment, Clarke's horse decides it wants to be a little difficult and begins bucking and neighing in protest of having the blonde on its back. Clarke loses her grip and she falls out of the saddle and lands on the ground with a thud. Lexa grabs hold of the reins of the horse and then looks down at Clarke in worry. The blonde stands up, dusting herself down, and scowls at the horse. "Geez, I didn't realise I was  _ that  _ bad of a passenger." Clarke mutters. 

 

"Are you okay?" Lexa asks concern evident in her voice. 

 

"Fine." Clarke replies. "My ass took the brunt of the fall." She adds and Lexa stops the horse's movements. She gestures for Clarke to come over to her and the blonde follows her instruction coming up beside Lexa who offers her her hand. Clarke was confused for a moment, taking the brunette's hand, before she's being hoisted up and her back is being pressed against by Lexa's front. Clarke swallows hard at the contact - especially when Lexa's arms circle around her waist to hold the reins after she secures Clarke's horse to follow them. 

 

Clarke was thankful that the brunette couldn't see her face because she was certain that her pupils were dilated, her eyes were dark with lust and the way her tongue had darted out to wet her lips was almost shameful. The brunette chuckles and Clarke feels the vibrations hit her back sending a shock feeling right through her. "Welcome aboard cowboy." Lexa whispers in her ear and Clarke stiffens. She had to get some self control, sure, Lexa was unbelievably attractive, hot, sexy, cute, adorable, god, she was the fucking definition of perfection, but they weren't officially  _ together  _ together and having these thoughts and feelings was inappropriate and, confessing them while the brunette has her front pressed against her back, and the bounce of the horse especially, paired with the fact that Claire couldn't see Lexa made this completely the wrong moment to confess such feelings. So Clarke had to just suck it up. 

 

Lexa leans her chin on Clarke's shoulder, guiding the blonde's hands to the reins to take over. Clarke grabs the reins and Lexa's arms wrap around her waist. "Mind if I have a little nap?" Lexa asks. Her voice is husky and, if Clarke could see her, she'd know for sure but, she was pretty sure that the brunette was just as affected by the closeness as she was. "You're comfy and the heat is making me tired." Lexa adds with her voice back to its usual smoothness - like she'd just reined herself in. Clarke just hums, not trusting her voice at that moment, and the brunette chuckles sending those vibrations against Clarke once again. God how she wanted Lexa to kiss her neck, or to kiss her jaw, or to grind into her, or do  _ something,  _ because this was almost too painful for Clarke - maybe it had just been too long since she'd gotten laid. 

 

Lexa doesn't fall asleep, or have a nap, she whispers in Clarke's ear every now and again when the blonde is wavering off course but, mostly, she just enjoys being close to her fiancée as they come to the end of the trail. Her head never leaves Clarke's shoulder, nor do her strong arms move from the blonde's waist, she holds her tightly, securely, and Clarke feels safe like she belonged there. 

 

When they reach the end of the trail, and Nyko is waiting there for them, Clarke is disappointed when she feels Lexa slip off the horse from behind her but that's gone as soon as she sees her extending her hand to help her down. Lexa was such a gentlewoman, so chivalrous - and they say chivalry is dead, not for Lexa Woods,  _ no sir _ . "I'm just going to go get out of all this stuff, get changed back into my boring old clothes." Lexa jokes. Clarke nods and watches as the brunette disappears into the house. She helps Nyko, handing him his hat back, and helps unsaddle the horses. 

 

"You two seem happy." Nyko says cheerfully. "Last time I saw Lex I was a veterinarian so I guess that's why she was surprised to see me here." He chuckles. "She's grown up a lot." He sounds almost sad and Clarke offers him a comforting smile in response. "Listen, Lexa is... she's special, and she seems to really like you, but you two don't seem like the traditional betrothed couple, seems like you're dancing around something, I mean, the way she was holding you, when you guys strolled in just now, I haven't seen Lexa that happy since... ever." Nyko admits. "Look after her." He says. "And sort out whatever you're dancing around." He says with a wink. 

 

Lexa exits the house again, stripped of her western belt, jacket, bandanna, boots, everything, except for the hat. Nyko smiles at the sight, Lexa could really work a cowboy hat it was a little ridiculous. "How much Nyk?" Lexa asks and Nyko holds his hands up in protest shaking his head. 

 

"This one’s on the house, you exercised my horses and I got to see my favourite kid." He says punching Lexa on the shoulder playfully. Lexa smiles at him before turning her gaze to Clarke. 

 

"I believe our steed awaits us." She says gesturing to the car and Clarke shakes her head at how dorky that sentence was but it was  _ so  _ Lexa. They walk together to the car and begin driving back to the estate hopefully leaving enough time for Lexa’s surprise.

 

**//**

Lexa had left Clarke to get dressed by herself giving her nothing to go off other than to dress ‘smart yet casual’. Lexa shows up at Clarke's bedroom door wearing a light grey button up, a little loose fitting, over the top she was wearing a blazer, along with dark coloured smart jeans and loafer shoes on her feet, her hair was down, and curly, just the way that Clarke liked it. 

 

The brunette smiles the second that Clarke opens the door, it was a charming smile, beautiful and sweet, and Clarke almost felt herself swooning at the sight. Clarke was wearing a pretty basic dress, nothing too flashy, but still tight enough to show off her assets, and long enough to be considered modest, it was a blue and white colour, matching Clarke's eyes, she had paired it with a jean jacket and a pair of flat shoes. Clarke's hair was also down and Lexa felt her heart flutter in her chest at the sight of the blonde. 

 

Lexa offers her arm to Clarke who takes it with a coy smile. They begin walking through the halls, towards the stairs and down them all the way outside to the car. Clarke allows Lexa to drive, considering she knew where to go, and the brunette drives like a model citizen making light jokes here and there about Clarke's driving. 

 

They arrive at a familiar restaurant, that Clarke knew her father owned, and Clarke looks curiously up at Lexa who she had wrapped her arms around the brunette's upper arm. "Your dad and I had lunch here." Lexa says with a smile. "We had a nice chat." Clarke frowns and she was about to ask more about that, since she hadn't heard about it from her father, or Lexa, before now, but they're interrupted by Janet the hostess. 

 

"Miss Griffin." She greets with a huge smile that Lexa now knows is forced and fake. "It's good to see you." She says. Lexa rolls her eyes at the woman who had completely overlooked her like Clarke wasn't attached to her arm. 

 

"Hey Janet, my fiancée made the reservations, I think it's probably under Woods." Clarke looks up at Lexa who nods her head. The woman scans her book before spotting the name. She leads them over to a table for two and then leaves to go back to the front. Lexa was right about the place being busier during later hours, although five o’clock wasn't that late, but Lexa had thought dinner first then the art gallery later. 

 

They settle in their seats, with Lexa pulling Clarke’s chair out for her, as a waiter lays menus down in front of them. Lexa smiles politely at the waiter before they’re walking away with the promise that they'll be back. Clarke opens her menu and Lexa follows her example, scanning over the options, though it's hard to concentrate when she feels eyes fixed on her. Lexa glances up to find the blonde staring at her intently, then flicks her eyes back down to the menu, the action so smooth that Clarke doesn't even notice. "I can feel you staring." Lexa muses a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "I can practically hear you thinking too." She adds as an afterthought. Clarke leans forward and Lexa lowers her menu to look at the blonde in front of her properly. She raises her eyebrows questioningly while Clarke purses her lips. 

 

"You ate here with my dad?" Clarke finally asks what she was thinking and Lexa can't help but feel a little underwhelmed. 

 

"He took me out for lunch after my suit fitting, claimed we needed some in-law bonding time." Lexa explains simply, she couldn't get too into the semantics, unless she wanted to spoil her surprise for later, but she also knew that Clarke wasn't just going to drop it. 

 

"He never mentioned it." She comments. " _ You _ never mentioned it." 

 

"It was lunch Clarke," Lexa shrugs. "I didn't realise you'd want to hear about it." Clarke grumbles at the brunette, because she did have a very good point, but still. 

 

"Yeah, well, my dad likes to talk." Clarke states and Lexa focuses on her again. "He likes to tell people things that he has no business telling them." Clarke huffs. "What did he tell you about me? Embarrassing baby stories, or the heavy stuff? Because I know he loves to just talk about how crappy my life has been." 

 

"Relax." Lexa says softly. "He just asked me about my job, and then he mentioned your passions, and medicine, and then we just talked about some stuff..." 

 

"Some stuff?" Clarke asks and Lexa shifts uncomfortably. 

 

"We can talk about this later." Lexa offers because the Finn talk could not be over dinner - that would just permanently ruin everything. 

 

"I want to talk about it now." Clarke narrows her eyes at Lexa and she's very aware that they're arguing over practically nothing. 

 

"He mentioned Finn a couple of times, that's all." Lexa replies but, if the flaring of Clarke's nostrils is anything to go by, that just made Clarke angrier. 

 

"Finn?" She asks in disbelief. "You mean my dead boyfriend." Lexa recoils slightly, like she was flinching away from Clarke's words, and Clarke feels a little bad for how harsh she had been. "What did he tell you?" Clarke asks and Lexa sighs closing her menu. 

 

"He told me that you guys fought a lot, before the accident, and he thought that you fell out of love with him-" Lexa begins.

 

"I  _ loved  _ Finn." Clarke interrupts and Lexa gives her a sympathetic look. 

 

"I know you did Clarke but... do you not think it's possible, that maybe, you did fall out of love love with him? I get it, he was all that you knew, so you held onto him because you thought you loved him." Lexa says gently. Clarke sits back in her chair, the guilt she felt in her chest expanding, the thing was that Lexa was right, Finn had been the only thing that she knew, and she really had loved him, very deeply, at one time, but she did fall out of love with him, they did fight a lot in the months leading up to his death, and she did hold onto him in the insane faith that she could learn to love him again, and that had, ultimately, lead him to his death. 

 

Lexa watches her with concern, her green eyes so soft, she looked like a glowing goddess sat across from Clarke and Clarke could never imagine falling out of love with Lexa - not that she was  _ in  _ love with her but there was definitely  _ something  _ there. Lexa senses the lull in Clarke's mood and calls over a waiter ordering them a bottle of wine. Clarke sits up instead of leaning back in her chair like a pouting puppy. "I'm sorry I got so defensive." Clarke apologises. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," Clarke remembers Lexa flinching away from her words. "or to hurt you." She adds. 

 

"You didn't." Lexa responds quickly leaving no room for doubt. "I should've told you about having lunch with your dad, I just... you've been spending time with my mom a lot recently and I didn't see the problem." Lexa smiles reassuringly at the blonde who gives her an almost guilty look back but, before Lexa has a chance to question her on it, the waiter returns with their wine and Lexa forgets the look after ordering her food. Clarke felt bad for lying to Lexa but she knew that Ms Woods planned on telling Lexa tonight which meant that she wouldn't have to keep lying to her for much longer. 

 

They make small talk over dinner, Clarke's mood improving with every laugh she draws from Lexa, or every time she hears the brunette speak, Clarke's pretty certain that she'll never have a bad day again so long as she had Lexa. They leave the restaurant holding hands and Clarke doesn't miss Lexa's smug look she throws the hostess who was watching them, mouth agape, as they leave - Janet always did have a stick up her ass. 

 

Clarke was expecting to go home but she was surprised when Lexa started driving them in a different direction. It was a short trip and Clarke recognised where they were going only a few minutes before Lexa was pulling up to the place. Clarke looks over at the brunette who flashes her an innocent smile - clearly, Clarke's dad had told Lexa about his other investments too. Lexa pulls out two tickets from her inside pocket and pulls an almost surprised look. "Well would you look at that?" Lexa asks feining shock. "Two tickets to the art gallery that happens to be owned by a Jake Griffin? Wow." Clarke gives her an amused look, shaking her head as a smile breaks out on her lips. 

 

"You're a nerd." Clarke responds and Lexa doesn't respond - she simply smiles and gets out of the car. She opens the door and offers her hand to Clarke to help her out and Clarke reluctantly does so. They begin walking up the many stairs leading to the gallery and Clarke wonders why Lexa even wants to go, in Arkadia, she hadn't exactly been that interested in art, and when Clarke had tried to explain it to her, she simply just watched her with a shine in her eyes but a totally clueless expression. It's quite clear that Lexa has a purpose for bringing her here and Clarke doesn't understand what that is but it's making her nervous. 

 

They walk around the gallery, undisturbed, there wasn't many people around and Lexa's hand doesn't leave Clarke's for a second. Only when she feels Lexa tugging her towards a certain piece does Clarke begin to panic a little.  _ Lexa couldn't know, she didn't know that Clarke had a piece up in the gallery. Surely she was simply just moving around? That had to be what was happening _ . 

 

They stop momentarily, well, actually, Lexa stops when she notices a young teenage boy, who clearly was just in the gallery for the hell of it, reaching out to touch one of the paintings. "Actually," Lexa's voice is firm and it startles the boy into withdrawing his hand. "you're not supposed to touch the paintings." She scolds and Clarke begins snickering and hides her face in Lexa's arm. It would've been embarrassing if it wasn't so funny. It was just so Lexa, only she would think of actually saying something to the teenager, the people who are supposed to reprimand people who do that clearly didn't care enough, but not Lexa, no, she's so pure that sometimes Clarke doesn't understand it. The teenager scoffs, with a weak ‘whatever’ thrown over his shoulder, as he turns away from the painting and walks away from Lexa. Clarke removes her face from Lexa's upper arm and glances up at the brunette amusement clear in her blue eyes. Lexa rolls her eyes and continues to tug Clarke towards the painting she had wanted to bring Clarke to in the first place. 

 

Lexa stays silent, observing the painting in front of her, it was stunning, even if Lexa didn't know much about art, it's obvious beauty was plain to see. It was an oil painting of a forest and, to Lexa's surprise, they looked precisely like that of the forests of Polis, you couldn't see the tops of the trees but you knew there must be a break as a stream of light hits the ground and coats the tree trunks in an amber glow, it looked almost like a photograph, the grass was indescribable and life like as well as the foggy background of the painting. It was beautiful. All the colours blended together in a truly unique painting that had clearly been crafted by a dedicated artist. 

 

Lexa runs her finger over the plaque in front of them over the name engraved that says ' _ By Clarke Griffin _ ' and Clarke knows by then that this had been Lexa's plan all along. "Clarke," Lexa turns her head to look at the blonde. "this is absolutely stunning." She compliments. Clarke blushes slightly at the compliment from her fiancée, and averts her eyes for a second, she had really enjoyed painting that piece especially, she had done it on a whim, on one of the rare occasions that she had had time, she remembered Finn complimenting how pretty her trees were before he started rambling on about something that Clarke couldn't remember because she had been so focused. 

 

"Polis is beautiful." Clarke replies brushing off the compliment. 

 

"Don't give all the credit to Pois, it takes true skills to capture such beauty in a painting." 

 

"Okay, Picasso." Clarke says sarcastically and Lexa rolls her yes. Lexa stops staring at the painting and chooses to concentrate on Clarke who was smiling happily at the painting, remembering when she had produced it, how many hours and days she had poured into it to make it perfect, or as close to perfect as she could get, she could feel her fingers twitching now as she remembered every well placed stroke, and that familiar rush she got, when painting, hits her head on. She misses it terribly. The freedom of the brush should never be underestimated but she hadn't painted for a long time - not since her mother had ruined her passion by making it into some kind of competition between her friends. 

 

"You're really talented." Lexa continues after a moment and Clarke was pretty sure she had moved closer to her but she couldn't be for certain because she was transfixed on the painting in front of her. "Do you remember why you painted it?" Lexa asks curiously. Clarke tears her eyes away for a second to look at Lexa's green eyes that matched the shades of green in the painting perfectly. Clarke remembers the painting in her room, the one with the different shades of green, the one that Lexa said looked like Clarke had been searching for the right colour, well she had, and that was the shade of green of Lexa's eyes - not that Clarke would ever admit that - and she'd hung it in her room because she liked having a piece of Lexa in there, permanent, because sometimes she felt like this marriage might fall apart - that Lexa might realise that she no longer wants to be with Clarke. 

 

"It was when I came to visit from college." Clarke recalls. "I was sick of my major and just wanted to unwind, art always did that for me." Clarke admits. 

 

"Do you miss it?" Lexa asks. Clarke's immediate answer is  _ ‘yes’  _ but she's not sure what prompts her to lie. 

 

"No." She says, when she feels Lexa's disbelieving gaze, she sighs. "Yes, I miss it, painting was a great way for me to express myself, art is beautiful, it’s... it’s inexplainable Lexa, it's freedom but it's also restricting, it's fun but hard, it's beautiful yet ugly, and, sometimes, the only way I can truly express myself is through my paintbrush." 

 

"So why did you stop?" Lexa asks and Clarke closes her eyes for a moment, sighing, she knew that question was coming, she could sense it, but it still made her pause. 

 

"I stopped because once my mom decided to sell it, to brag about me, it stopped being about expression, about  _ passion _ , it had no joy for me,  _ especially  _ if my mom just wanted it for the money not for the message." Clarke takes a sharp breath in. "Plus, art is no career, my mom wouldn't support me, and I really do love medicine." Clarke’s shoulders sag. 

 

"I’d support you." Lexa's voice is soft, and barely above a whisper, but Clarke hears it and her head snaps to the side in surprise. 

 

"You would?" Clarke asks and Lexa smiles at her. 

 

"You're my future wife, that means for better or for worse, plus, Clarke, you  _ love  _ art, you should always follow your heart." Lexa says sincerely and honesty. It warms Clarke's heart, the fact that Lexa would support her following her passion if she really wanted to, and the unconditionalness of the sentiment made Clarke stop, pause and think for a minute. "Or be a doctor, help people,  _ whatever  _ you want to do Clarke, I'll be right there beside you." Lexa continues and Clarke looks at her. 

 

She realises now that this had been Lexa's plan all along, to show Clarke why she loved art, and to show her how much she actually missed it, but also reminding her of her love for helping people and medicine. Clarke was astonished by the brunette's smoothness of it all, the lengths she had gone to just to relight that fire inside of Clarke, that made her actually want to pursue a path but, she wasn't going to take the one that her mom had set out for her, she'd make her own way. Maybe when they got back to Arkadia she could look into hospital jobs there, maybe a studio for whatever free time she may have and all the while she'd have her ever supporting, faithful, fiancée, soon to be wife, by her side. 

 

Lexa lets go of Clarke's hand and takes out her phone opening up the camera app. Clarke rises an eyebrow as the brunette levels her phone up and takes a photo of the painting in front of her. Clarke smirks as the the brunette turns back to her and the blonde points to the sign that reads ‘ _ Please do not photograph the art _ ’ and she raises an eyebrow. "Actually," Clarke mimics Lexa’s voice from before. "you're not supposed to take pictures of the art." 

 

"It's so we can remember this moment." Lexa explains. "For when that spark in you might flicker." Clarke didn't see how that would happen with Lexa around - it didn't seem likely that her fire would ever flicker and die again. 

 

"I didn't take you for rebel Lex." Clarke teases and Lexa gives her a playful smile. 

 

"That's me, I'm a rule breaker." Lexa responds and Clarke snorts at such a comment. 

 

"Please, you're a  _ lawyer  _ Lexa, you're practically built to follow the rules." Clarke says rolling her eyes and Lexa brings a hand to her chest in mock hurt. 

 

"I'll have you know that I once shoplifted." Lexa points out and Clarke rises her eyebrows. 

 

"Which you then confessed to and paid back the shopkeeper." Clarke reminds her and Lexa lets out a huff of annoyed air. 

 

"Whatever." She says and Clarke swears she's almost pouting. "Let's get you back home, it's getting late and my mom wanted to talk to me." Lexa says. Clarke's stomach drops at the reminder that Lexa had just slapped in her face and she feels her smile falter but Lexa doesn't seem to notice as she retakes her fiancée's hand in her own and starts pulling her towards the exit. For the good night, and the playfulness they had shared, it seemed that this night wasn't going to end well at all.

 

**//**

 

When they arrive back at the estate Lexa leaves Clarke in favour of going to talk to her mother - and she's pretty sure the blonde heads towards her room. Lexa decides that, once she was done talking to her mother, she'd have to have a serious talk with Clarke because things were beginning to become a little too heated for her to put off anymore. It felt like tension was building between them and Lexa sometimes felt like pressing the blonde against any available surface and kissing her senseless and that just wasn't healthy thinking - especially when she didn't know if Clarke felt the same way. They were set to go back to Arkadia  tomorrow which, unfortunately, would include Raven but Lexa didn't mind the mechanic's company, plus, Anya would be done with school soon and she was certain her best friend would be more than pleased to find Raven in Arkadia when she returned. 

 

Lexa knocks on her mom's door before entering with a content smile on her face. She finds her mom sitting on her bed, a hand pressed to her temple and another to her stomach. "Mom?" Lexa asks worriedly. "Are you okay?" She rushes to her side and kneels in front of her. "Would you like me to go get Dr Grif- Abby? Or Clarke?" Lexa stands back up again, making to go fetch someone, when her mother's sharp tone halts her. 

 

" _ Alexandria _ ." Her mother says in a tone that only a mother could have - the ability to be firm, soft and condescending all at the same time. "That won't be necessary, I'm just feeling a little sick, it's natural, with the treatments." She says dismissively but Lexa doesn't miss it. She crosses her arms across her chest and frowns deeply at her mom who lets out a chuckle because Lexa looked just like her when she had used her mom pose - the one that shows disapproval and suspicion all at once. 

 

"What do you mean  _ treatments _ ?" Lexa asks narrowing her eyes. Her mom plays with the quilt of the bed and avoids her daughter's gaze. 

 

"Maybe you should sit down Alexandria." Her mom encourages and Lexa's body tenses, absolutely refusing to sit down, upon instinct. Her arms fall from her chest and her body takes on a more vulnerable posture, not that you would notice since Lexa seemed so rigid that her mom was afraid that she might snap, but it was natural instinct, like her daughter was preparing to reject whatever she said, because she wouldn't want to believe what she was going to be hearing. Her eyes were the only give away to her vulnerability: they were wide now, with unspoken nervousness, weakness and a little fear. 

 

"No." Lexa deadpans. "I'm not sitting because that implies that you have bad news to share and there's no bad news here, right?" Lexa asks. She'd seen it before, they always ask you to take a seat when they tell you the bad news, it's supposed to make it easier, Lexa supposed, but after her uncle Gus, and the doctors who had claimed they had done everything, Lexa didn't want to sit down. When people asked her too, she didn't sit down, when she'd been told about Costia she had been standing. 

 

"Alexandria..." Her mom warns but Lexa raises her chin stubbornly and she sighs. "Fine." She relents shifting her position to stare at her daughter directly. She just had to come out and say it, rip the bandaid off so to speak, dragging this process out would make it more painful than it had to be. "I'm sick." Her mom states and Lexa freezes. "The doctors say it's treatable, and that I'll be okay, but there's a chance that..." Her mom's words become background noise to Lexa as her heart rate speeds up to dangerous levels. It pounds in her ears, muffling whatever her mom was explaining, and Lexa felt like her whole world had just come crashing down around her. Her mom, the only family she had left, the only person who's ever looked out for her from when she had been a newborn, the only woman who would love her completely and wholly, unconditionally, without any hesitation, her  _ mother _ , is sick?  _ What kind of fucked up shit was that? _ Lexa's eyes water but she will not cry,  _ she will not cry, she will not cry. _ She feels like she might throw up a little and she notices that her mom has stopped talking. 

 

Lexa catches a look at herself in the mirror across the room and sees she's as white as a sheet, she's trembling and the unshed tears are making her eyes look shiney. She shakes her head and focuses back on her mom. "I'm sorry Alexandria, I know I should've told you sooner but I didn't-" 

 

"You're lying." Lexa accuses. "Or they got it wrong, mom, they're wrong, you're not sick, you're fine, you're okay."

 

"Alexand-" 

 

" _ No _ ." Lexa interrupts before the seriousness of the situation settles in her mind. "You're my  _ mom _ , you're supposed to be there for me, watch me grow up, keep me safe, support me, care for me, you're supposed to watch me walk down the aisle at my wedding, you're... you're..." Lexa chokes for a second feeling both hysterical and in denial. "You're sick." She realises. Her mom smiles sadly at her and Lexa shakes her head furiously. "How long have you known?" Lexa asks suddenly angry but also, quite clearly, devastated. 

 

"Almost two months." She says with a sad smile. 

 

"Two months?" Lexa asks in disbelief. "That was around the same time as Clarke and-" Lexa realises something. "You did this because you're sick? You arranged this marriage because you're sick." 

 

"I arranged this marriage for  _ you _ ." Her mom cuts in harshly and Lexa doesn't believe that she can still mother her after keeping this a secret for almost two months.  _ Two months. _ That was childish. "I cannot stand to see you so sad all the time Alexandria and I was worried that. should the worse come to the worse, you'd never go back to who you once were." She explains. "Clarke has stolen your heart, she gives you everything that I wanted for you befor-" 

 

"I can't  _ believe  _ you!" Lexa bursts. "You don't get to twist this into making you look like the good guy! You- you should've told me a long time ago mom. I would've been there for you, we- we could've-" 

 

"I know Alexandria, that's why I didn't tell you." Her mother interrupts Lexa's frantic search for words as the woman paces back and forth with her boots punctuating the silence with each thump as she steps. "You always worry so muc-" 

 

"I don't want to talk to you!" Lexa yells. "I- you- you're sick! And I just- I can't believe you!" Lexa was confused, conflicted and just downright destroyed. She didn't know how to felt and a million things seemed to be rushing through her mind as she tried to make sense of what her mother was telling her. "I have to go." Lexa turns on her heel, rushing out of the bedroom hastily, not wanting to think about it too much. 

 

Lexa storms out of the room, walking briskly down the halls without knowing exactly where she was going, all she knew is that she had to get away and she wasn't particularly concerned where she found her refuge... or maybe she was. Lexa recognises where she's going before she realises it: she's heading towards Clarke's bedroom. When she does realise there's an uncomfortable feeling in her gut, she wants Clarke, she  _ needs  _ Clarke, she's the only one who Lexa wants to make her feel better because, in all honesty, she feels pretty shitty at the moment and she feels unsettled because she hasn't wanted someone to comfort her like this before, not since she was a kid, not since Costia. 

 

Lexa dives into Clarke's bedroom before she can scare herself out of the idea or think about it too much. Clarke is standing by her dresser, minding her own business, when Lexa bursts through the door. The brunette stares at her wide eyed for a moment, her chest rising and falling rapidly, and Clarke knows that Lexa's mom must have told her daughter about her sickness. 

 

Lexa stares at Clarke for a second longer before collapsing on the edge of the large bed in the room. Lexa hunches over with a sigh and her head finds its way to her hands in an exhausted looking deflation. Clarke freezes, unsure of how to approach this new, more vulnerable, Lexa, she'd never seen all of Lexa's emotional states and Clarke wasn't equipped to deal with the one that Lexa seemed to be in now. 

 

A moment passes before Clarke walks across the room, she pauses, looking down at the brunette, her heart lurching at the sight, before she sits down beside her. Clarke lays her hand on the small of Lexa's back and the girl leaps to her feet as though she had been electrocuted or burnt by Clarke's touch. Clarke tries to not take it personally, Lexa was upset, she was weary and unsure, her eyes were glassy with unshed tears and her body trembled ever so slightly. "I'm sorry." She says rubbing the back of her neck. "I'm sorry, it's just, I- I can't, I don't-" Lexa stops to gather her thoughts that were obviously scattered and not going to her. "I'm sorry." She repeats. 

 

"It's okay Lexa." Clarke says softly looking at the girl sadly with nothing but understanding. "It's okay, take your time." Clarke says. Lexa stops her pacing and stares down at the blonde who was looking at her with concern, her blue eyes sparkled in the light, and Lexa wanted to do nothing more than to seek comfort in the arms of her fiancée, but she had to tell her what the problem was first. 

 

"I talked to my mom." Lexa explains and Clarke nods her head encouragingly coaxing Lexa to continue. "She's," Lexa takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, and then reopens them, finally focused and not breathing so erratically. "she's sick." Lexa finishes and Clarke smiles softly at her reassuringly. She reaches her hand out to the brunette who takes it with her own. Even from just the small gesture it was enough to steady Lexa's aloof mood and ground her. 

 

"I know but, Lex, her sickness isn't that bad, it's treatable, and manageable, and she'll be back to good health in no time." Clarke says with a kind smile. 

 

"Wait." Lexa says and Clarke's throat tightens at the scrutiny in Lexa's eyes - it was like the brunette could see right through her. Lexa felt stupid, all the time that Clarke had been spending with her mom, the guilty look reflected in her eyes, the secrecy of it all, she should've known. She pulls her hand back from Clarke instantly and Clarke feels her heart stutter at the action. " _ You knew _ ?" Lexa asks it but she clearly already has her answer with the way her voice drips with deep betrayal and her green eyes shine with both hurt and anger - though hurt seemed to be more prominent. "You knew my mom was sick and you never  _ told  _ me?" Lexa asks and Clarke winces at the harshness of her tone. 

 

"Lexa," Clarke tries. "I wanted to, I swear, but I promised your mom that I’d give her some time to tell you herself. I thought it'd be better coming from her." Clarke explains desperately. 

 

"How long?" Lexa asks. Her voice was back to normal again and Clarke almost had whiplash from how quickly Lexa had schooled her voice and expression into that of a calm and collected one. "How long have you known?" She clarifies at the look of slight confusion on Clarke's face. Clarke bites her lip, reluctant to answer that question, she knew, no matter how short her answer may be, whatever she told Lexa would still hurt her because Clarke had still kept quiet in the end. 

 

"Two weeks." She answers. She watches as the words hit Lexa, she can see it in the stillness of her chest, the way her body goes rigid, the sharp breath in that doesn't come out and the way her green eyes burn into Clarke's very being. Then the breath comes out in a scoff and she unfreezes again. 

 

" _ Two weeks _ ? You've been lying to me for two weeks?" Lexa asks and Clarke nods her head in shame. 

 

"Lexa, I'm sorry, really-" 

 

"You  _ lied  _ to me!" Lexa cuts her off her anger getting the best of her. She shakes her head and turns her back on Clarke, ripping the door open forcefully, she pauses before she leaves, whirling on Clarke. "How am I supposed to  _ trust  _ you when you  _ lie  _ to me?" Lexa asks. "How am I supposed to  _ marry  _ you?" Lexa spits the words at Clarke and the blonde feels awful her insides twisting in horrible ways. When Lexa turns again, Clarke leaps up from her sitting position hoping to stop the brunette. 

 

"Lexa..." Clarke's words are drowned out by the slamming of the bedroom door and the blonde instantly deflates falling back onto the bed. She knew there was no point in chasing after Lexa, she needed space, time to calm down, and Clarke was probably the last person she wanted. Clarke glances at the clock on the bedside table and sees that it's  eight o'clock, soon it'd be getting dark, and, eventually, Lexa would  _ have  _ to talk to Clarke. She felt terrible and, for the first time since she'd met Lexa, Clarke felt lonely - she felt alone. She wanted nothing more than to comfort Lexa, to hold her, and make her feel better but now she was gone and god knows where - Clarke just hoped she stayed in the house because the woods, surrounding the estate, were hard to navigate, especially with no knowledge of the area, plus it was getting dark. 

 

Lexa storms down the hallway with purpose, a fire burning through her veins, her hands were clenched into fists at her sides and her eyes glowered with anger and hurt. She bounds down the stairs, ignoring the curious glances she gets from Jake and Abby who she had passed at the top, she ignores Alfred completely and opens the front door and slams it behind her. 

 

Only when she's outside, and the cooling air hits her, does Lexa let out a frustrated scream of anger. She wanted to punch something but also didn't feel like breaking her hand. So she does the only thing that she knows will make her feel better: she runs. She runs into the forest and she runs until her lungs burn.

 

**//**

 

In hindsight, maybe running into the woods was a bad idea, maybe Lexa should've thought about what she was doing, she should have thought it through, that's what Lexa did, she was a thinker, how could she have been so stupid? It was cold and dark by now and Lexa had been wandering aimlessly for hours. She knew when to admit defeat - she just really wished she'd brought a jacket so she'd at least be warm when she made the humiliating call. 

 

Lexa pulls her phone out which, thankfully, still had a relatively high charge and she dials the one number she knows is certain to get her out of this place. The phone rings only a couple of times before there's an answer and Lexa tries to not think that she had been waiting for her call. "Lexa." Clarke's voice is gravelly but she whispers her name like she's relieved to know she’s okay. 

 

"I'm lost." Lexa responds, not bothering with a greeting, she was already sulking, she didn't see the point in trying to hide it. 

 

"What?" Clarke asks as if Lexa had just said the most confusing thing in the world. Lexa slumps against a nearby rock and sighs. 

 

"I'm lost." Lexa repeats. There's a soft sound from the other sound that Lexa's certain is a mix between a laugh and a exasperated sigh. 

 

"Realise we're not Bear Grylls did we?" Clarke asks and, if Lexa wasn't so out of it, she would've laughed at that statement, in fact, she did feel a small tingle in her stomach. 

 

"Clarke," Lexa says calmly looking around at the dark forest. "I need you." Lexa tries to resist the urge to cringe at the desperation in her voice - she wasn't used to needing other people and it was hard for her to admit, of course Lexa wasn't just talking about how to get out of the woods, she just needed Clarke. There's a silence for a moment and Lexa closes her eyes in the hopes of maybe blocking out the world. 

 

"I'll be right there." Clarke answers and then she's gone, leaving Lexa in silence, and, once again, alone. Lexa didn't know how Clarke was going to find her but she must have some sort of plan because Clarke was a woman of her word so if she said she was going to be right there then she was going to be right there. Lexa was being stubborn, she knew that, she knew that it wasn't Clarke's fault, she knew that she should probably look at the big picture here, that her mom is sick, but she just feels like she's floating, like she's in some kind of limbo, it’s possibly more denial than anything. 

 

Lexa sits there for quite some time, staring into space, shivering and just enjoying the scenery and scent of the forest at night. Everything almost seemed okay -  _ almost _ . Clarke appears from a couple of pine trees looking a little ruffled and disorientated. She was carrying a blanket, Lexa notices, and her blue eyes are nothing but sincere and sorry. She steps closer to Lexa and Lexa notices small pine needles threaded into Clarke's blonde hair, probably as of a result of hurrying through trees, maybe a short cut, but Lexa thought the look worked for her. "Hey." Clarke says softly and Lexa kind of wants to laugh and she doesn't really know why. "I brought a blanket." Clarke states. Lexa looks at her and Clarke almost feels afraid because Lexa looks tired, Lexa  _ never  _ looks tired, she looks exhausted, like she's carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. That's the kind of person Lexa was, the kind of person who bears other people's problems, other people's pain, without even realising it and so they don’t have to. 

 

Lexa stands up and steps towards Clarke before collapsing into a hug with the blonde. Clarke's surprised by it at first, Lexa's never been a touchy feely kind of girl, but feeling the brunette wrap her arms around her neck, and bury her face into her neck, seeking out comfort, broke Clarke's heart. She wraps her arms securely around Lexa's midsection, holding her tightly, as the brunette held onto her like she was a life support. Lexa felt secure in Clarke's arms, she felt  _ safe _ , and that was a kind of comfort very few could offer her. "I'm sorry." Lexa mumbles not lessening her grip on the blonde. 

 

"Shhh." Clarke soothes. "You did nothing wrong." 

 

"Then why does this keep happening to me?" Lexa asks. Clarke pauses at the question, confused at first about what Lexa really meant. She opens her arms, which allows the blanket she had been holding, folded against Lexa's back, to open, she then drapes the blanket over the brunette's shoulders, stepping back from the hug, to look her in the eyes. Lexa's eyes were dull, as opposed to their usual striking green they usually were, they were sparkling with tears that were threatening to spill but that Lexa was probably determined not to let slip. 

 

"It's going to be okay Lex." Clarke cups her face gently and the brunette pulls the blanket tighter around herself, reluctant to give into Clarke's touch. "You didn't do anything wrong." She repeats. "Sometimes bad things happen to good people." Clarke's voice is so soothing and soft and Lexa feels herself nuzzling into Clarke's hands unable to resist the comfort it gave her. This woman, that Lexa had known for almost two months of her existence, was incredible. She was soft, and gentle, a little outspoken at times, she made Lexa feel things she hasn't wanted to feel for a very long time. 

 

That's when it all clicks for Lexa, everything seems clearer, sharper, more in focus, as she realises something that she hadn't allowed herself to believe before. Her eyes flutter open again and green meets blue for about the thousandth time that Lexa had known Clarke. The blue gazing back at her was darker than usual, resembling closer to the shade of the ocean, plagued by worry and concern for the brunette whom she was comforting. Lexa's forest green eyes gaze back with realisation and a little sadness still in the corner accenting the bright green of her eyes now. 

 

Lexa wets her lips for a second and Clarke feels herself doing the same - it's something that she doesn't really knew why she did it. The air is charged, thick with anticipation, Clarke's entire being is vibrating and, where her hands are touching Lexa's cheeks, she feels like a fire has been ignited under her skin. Lexa's no better, her realisation is causing her to become restless, feeling herself drawn to Clarke like the South Pole of a magnet to the North. 

 

Lexa's hands let go of the blanket and she wraps them around Clarke's waist, pulling her towards her, and Clarke's breath hitches - she wasn’t sure if Lexa was looking for another hug or if something more. Lexa presses their bodies together but leaves enough space between them so they can look at each other. Lexa leans forward slightly, giving Clarke plenty of time to pull away, she doesn't. 

 

Lexa leans all the way in her lips finding the blonde's easily - even in the dark of the forest. Clarke responds immediately, her eyes falling closed as the intoxicating softness of Lexa's lips caress her own carefully. This was nothing like their first kiss, their first kiss had been exploring each other, it had been a little rough, and rushed, but, this kiss, this kiss was tender and sweet. Lexa's lips move with purpose against Clarke's, being gentle with the blonde as though she was afraid that the kiss might break her if she went to hard. Clarke moves her hands from Lexa's cheeks, to her shoulders, planting them firmly there to keep herself upright. They lose themselves in the kiss, Lexa brushing her nose over Clarke's as she changed her angles every so often, they didn't bother to deepen the kiss, this wasn't about that, it wasn't about tasting each other, or anything lustful, this was almost  _ loving _ . 

 

The thought makes Clarke pull away, the thought hitting her square in the chest and rendering her a little breathless -  _ or was that the kiss? _ Lexa backs away immediately, respecting Clarke's wishes to stop. Clarke doesn't remove her hands from Lexa's shoulders though, she keeps her standing there, close to her, her blue eyes impossibly soft, and Lexa understands what Clarke's thinking. "It's not just a one time thing Clarke." Lexa says. "I didn't kiss you because I wanted to be comforted." Clarke nods her head. 

 

Clarke was still concerned, just a minute ago Lexa was basically asking why everyone she was close to died, or something bad happened to them, and Clarke wasn't sure if Lexa was really thinking. That kiss said a lot. That talk they had both been avoiding was basically held in that kiss. Lexa smiles softly at her and Clarke looks away for a second unsure of what to say or do. "Did I just mess everything up?" Lexa asks and Clarke feels her stepping away and her heart jumps out of her chest and she presses down on the brunette's shoulders so she can't move away. Lexa rocks on her feet slightly and Clarke looks at her to tell her to stay exactly where she is. Lexa doesn't comment on her reaction, she guessed that Clarke was still trying to figure out how she felt about the kiss, or maybe she just wanted Lexa to stand close to her so she could slap her, whatever the case, Lexa would do what Clarke wanted. 

 

Clarke stares at her again, it's a little unnerving and Lexa's still not sure if Clarke's going to kiss her or slap her. In reality, Clarke likes having Lexa close to her, even in this space she can feel Lexa's warmth providing her with comfort and the feeling of the brunette's hands on her waist gives Clarke a satisfied feeling in her gut. "What was that?" Clarke asks and Lexa frowns at her not understanding the question. "Why did you kiss me? What was that?" Clarke repeats. Maybe she just wants to hear the words, maybe she doesn't believe that Lexa just kissed her, but, whatever the reason, she wants to know. Lexa's eyes soften almost looking a little sad that Clarke didn't understand the kiss. 

 

"Because I wanted to." Lexa whispers and it's a confession of how she feels: she  _ wants  _ Clarke and Clarke wants Lexa. She knows that. She's known that since the day she lay eyes on the brunette and, even if the kiss didn't feel lustful, the blonde's worried that maybe it was - maybe Lexa just wants a good lay to make her feel better. 

 

"Clarke I-" Lexa stops for a moment, this was hard for her, that guilt, that Clarke had talked about before, was tugging at her heart like never before. There was always going to be a time when Lexa moved on, she just didn't think it would be this soon, not that three years wasn't a long time to grieve someone. "I really,  _ really _ , like you." Lexa confesses. "I know you're my fiancée, and we've kind of skipped that whole phase completely," Lexa smiles and Clarke feels her heart fluttering -  _ she's joking, she's being  _ Lexa _. _ "but I really like you, truly." Lexa concludes. "I wanted to kiss you because of  _ that  _ reason." Clarke nods her head slowly and Lexa watches her carefully. "I won't do it again if-"

 

" _ No _ ." Clarke cuts her off and Lexa looks at her, waiting for a response, or an explanation, or just something. "I liked the kiss, the kiss was good," Clarke says and, if Lexa didn't feel like Clarke was holding her heart in her hand right now, she might find Clarke's nervousness extremely adorable. "and I really like you too Lex, but you're upset, you're not thinking clearly." Lexa shakes her head in denial. 

 

"I've never been more clear minded." There's a way that Lexa says it that Clarke can't disagree with. It's a determination that she's never heard Lexa say before, other than when she had been in court, and it's the thing that spurs her to pull on the brunette's shoulders, gently, and pull her down into another kiss. 

 

Lexa doesn't do much, she simply closes her eyes, feeling Clarke's hand slip from one of her shoulders to the back of her neck, tangling in some of the hair there, she pulls Lexa down softly and Clarke's very much in control of this kiss. Clarke pulls back from the kiss with a smile but she stays close enough to Lexa's face to feel her breath brush over her lips. She moves her hand from the back of Lexa's neck, around to her jaw, and holds the brunette's face affectionately, brushing her thumb over Lexa's cheek. Lexa keeps quiet, her lips slightly parted, head tilted down slightly, while her green eyes focus on Clarke. 

 

Clarke stares at Lexa's lips for a moment before she breaks out into a huge grin causing a warmth to erupt inside of Lexa. "We should get you inside." Clarke comments pulling back and pulling the blanket back up Lexa's shoulders. "You probably want to get warm." She says but Clarke doesn't realise that just being close to her made Lexa warm to the core. 

 

"I suppose I should talk to my mom." Lexa heaves a heavy sigh. "I didn't exactly take it well." She says stepping back from her fiancée. She looks at Clarke for a moment before realising that she hadn't yet apologised to her - not really. "I'm sorry Clarke, about getting angry, and storming out." Lexa says awkwardly. "I wasn't thinking, and then you had to come get me, and... I'm sorry." Lexa concludes with a sincere look on her face. 

 

"It's okay, we're good, better than good, great even, you reacted like I would've expected anyone else to react." Clarke says with a shrug. "I did lie to you." Clarke owns up to her own mistake. "I'm sorry." Clarke apologies and they begin walking out of the forest side by side. 

 

They walk in silence, Lexa's mind going a mile a minute with her thoughts. "Clarke," Lexa says and the blonde glances at her curiously. "I do want to marry you." Lexa says remembering that she may have implied otherwise in her anger. "And I do trust you." Lexa says. That was hard for Lexa to admit, she didn't trust easily, and she was still afraid that Clarke had the power to completely break her if she so desired, but she had to let Clarke know. 

 

"I trust you too Lex." Clarke says with a warm smile. "We'll talk later about what this all means," Clarke says and Lexa swallows nervously. "but you should talk to your mom first, smooth things over with her." Clarke says. Lexa just nods, pulling the blanket around her shoulders tighter, and buries her nose into it - it smells like Clarke, like her coconut shampoo that she uses, and it's comforting. 

 

Clarke was right, they could talk later, but, for now, she should focus on making things right with her mom. "She's all I have." Lexa murmurs. Clarke looks at her with sad eyes, a silence settling between them at Lexa's admission. 

 

"She's not," Clarke says, her voice firm but quiet. "you have me." Lexa smiles, the words ‘ _ For better or worse _ ’ echoing in her mind as they walk together through the woods.  _ You’re stuck with me Griffin. _

 

**//**

 

Lexa pauses outside the door to see her mom sitting down on the bed. She had her head tilted to the floor while she played with the wedding ring on her finger. Lexa leans against the doorframe, observing her mom for a long moment and trying to find the words she wanted to say. "So you're sick." Lexa says in a monotone voice. Her mother looks up to see her daughter leaning against the doorframe, her arms wrapped around herself, like she was holding herself together, while she stared directly at her. Lexa's mom nods her head and gives Lexa a small comforting smile. "Why didn't you tell me?" Lexa asks and her mom just shrugs.  _ That wasn't good enough _ . Lexa wanted to know  _ why,  _ she wanted to know why her mom would lie to her about something like this. 

 

"Your father used to call you Lexa." She says instead and Lexa's eyebrows raise in surprise. Her mom never talked about her father, it was a taboo subject ever since Lexa had been a kid. "That's why I call you Alexandria." 

 

"I thought it was because it was sounded more... proper." Lexa admits and her mother lets out a breathy laugh. 

 

"It  _ is  _ a beautiful name but calling you... Lexa, always reminded me of your father." Her mother replies and Lexa stares at her with sad eyes. "He used to call you it all the time, do you remember?" She asks looking at Lexa. 

 

"I don't remember him." Lexa replies. It was sad, if you thought about it too much, but to Lexa she hasn't known any better, she can't remember what having a dad felt like so she didn't miss the feeling, she did know what having a mother felt like and she didn't want that to go away. 

 

"You're just like him." Her mom replies and Lexa frowns. "You got my looks, my eyes, my stubbornness, but the rest is all him." She says with a sad smile. "Your poise, your confidence, sense of humour, strength, manners, just the way you act is all him." Her mom looks up and Lexa looks back at her. "You're so much like him Alexandria... maybe that's why you like girls too." She gives Lexa a playful smile and the girl lets out a soft laugh. She pushes herself off of the doorframe, and sways on her feet for a moment, before walking into the bedroom. 

 

"Mom," Lexa sighs. "you  _ should have _ told me." Lexa repeats her previous statement and her mom nods her head. 

 

"I know but, just like your father, I knew you'd worry too much, you get your caring nature from him too." She replies. Lexa settles on the edge of the bed beside her mom and looks at the ground. "Your uncle Gus used to say you had such a big heart, and you still do, but you hide it away." She says softly. "You can't do that with Clarke, you could really have something with her if you just let yourself be happy. I know you loved Costia, and losing her forced you to lock that heart up tight, but, maybe, you could give Clarke a key?" Her mom asks. Lexa lifts her head up from the ground and looks at her mom who was giving her a hopeful smile. Lexa thinks about it for a moment, of course her mom was right, Clarke was special to her, and she couldn't afford to let her fear of being hurt get in the way of being with the blonde, she couldn't let that happen, she wanted to be with Clarke, she just had to  _ tell  _ her. 

 

Lexa nods her head and her mom smiles at her knowingly. "Mom?" Lexa asks at her mother's smirk - it was making her feel a little uneasy. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Lexa asks and her mom just smiles wider - which is really unusual because her mom never smiles a lot, and she's smiled a bunch of times in their recent conversation, mostly to comfort Lexa, but now it was teasing in a way that her mom didn't usually tease her. 

 

"I never said to do  _ that  _ with her." She comments and Lexa chokes slightly, sputtering, understanding what she meant. 

 

" _ Mom _ !" Lexa says with a frown and a blush creeping up her neck at what she was insinuating. 

 

"You're an adult Alexandria, so long as you’re safe, you should just go for it." She says and Lexa blushes harder. 

 

"Oh my God." She groans and rubs her face with her hands. 

 

"Alright, now run back you your fiancée, I plan on traveling back to Arkadia  tomorrow as well." Her mom says standing up from the bed and Lexa does the same standing in front of her. "I love you." Her mom says cupping her chin with her hand for a moment before letting Lexa's face go. 

 

"I love you too." Lexa replies pulling her mom in for a tight hug. They stay like that for a long moment before her mom wiggles a little and Lexa gets her point. 

 

"Goodnight Alexandria." She says softly and Lexa smiles. 

 

"Goodnight mama." She responds. She watches as surprise reaches her mom's eyes -it had been years since Lexa had called her that and she'd forgotten how much she loved it. 

 

"Don't stay up too late." She calls after her and Lexa fights her embarrassment,  _ again _ , at what her mother was implying. She exits the bedroom and closes the door behind her, her mom's words echoing through her head:  _ go for it. _

 

**//**

 

Lexa enters Clarke's bedroom with a heavy heart after talking to her mom. She leans against the door and let's out a sigh, closing her eyes and just taking a moment.  _ Everything was okay, everything was going to be okay. _ Lexa slows her breaths down, calming and centring herself, so of course that was the moment that Clarke decided to exit the en suite bathroom attached to her room. Lexa's eyes flutter open seeing Clarke who had stopped in her tracks upon seeing the brunette pressed with her back against her door. Clarke's hair was slightly damp, like she'd showered and attempted to dry her hair but hadn't bothered to do it thoroughly, she was wearing only a t-shirt, and a pair of Lexa's boxer shorts that she liked to wear to bed, her hair was curly and framed her face beautifully and Lexa felt her heart flutter and pound at the same time in her chest. 

 

Clarke remains silent, her eyes focused on Lexa, as the brunette stared at her with an intensity that Clarke didn't know what to do with. The room was thick with tension and neither of them wanted to speak, to break their eye contact, or the feelings they could feel pumping around the room. Lexa pushes off the door and moves towards Clarke swiftly, acting upon instinct. The blonde just watches as the brunette nears her, her hands coming up to cup Clarke cheeks in her hands, before she presses a kiss to the blonde's lips. Clarke's eyes fall shut and her hands hover around Lexa's body - unsure of where they should go or even if Lexa wanted to be touched. 

 

The kiss starts out sweet, like the kiss they had shared in the forest, but when Clarke feels Lexa shifting her weight, and a tongue that licks at her lower lip, she has an idea that the kiss was going to change from sweet and cool to hard and hot - and quickly. Clarke doesn't refuse entrance to the brunette allowing Lexa to slip her tongue into Clarke's mouth to explore her. 

 

Lexa pushes her back until she hits the desk and the brunette lifts her onto it, stepping between her legs, while Clarke wraps them around Lexa's waist, pulling the brunette to her tightly. Clarke doesn't hesitate to place her hands on Lexa now, tangling them into her brown curls and listening as the brunette moans when Clarke's hands get snagged on a few tangles. It's intense, and it's hot, and probably one of the best make out sessions Clarke's had, but there's something more which she realises when Lexa pulls away and her mouth wonders to Clarke's jaw, kissing her along it, and down to her neck, sucking and biting here and there but careful not to mark the blonde's skin - although Clarke kind of wishes she would. "Lex..." Clarke manages to breathe out as the brunette continues to lick and suck at her neck. "What's happening?" She asks. 

 

Lexa pulls away, looking Clarke in the eyes, her usually bright green eyes are darkened with slightly lust, her hands drift up Clarke's thighs, settling just beneath the fabric of the boxer shorts, as she stares intently at her. "I don't know." Lexa admits. "I just know that I really want this," Lexa squeezes Clarke's thighs, gently, her eyes softening. "I really want  _ you,  _ Clarke, and I just want to feel." Clarke should resist, Lexa was hurting, at least, a little, maybe she wasn't thinking clearly, maybe she'd totally regret this in the morning, but then Lexa's lips are back at her neck, and her lips are so soft it's like tiny pillow kisses against her skin each time she kisses her. 

 

"Oh god." Clarke groans when she feels Lexa grind a little - it's not enough contact but it's enough for her to lose her self control. Four months without sex was actually a really long time for Clarke and Lexa, well, Lexa had been without sex for two years so she couldn't imagine what she felt like. "Lexa," Clarke tugs on her hair and Lexa looks at her. "Take me, take me now." Clarke's eyes are equally as dark as Lexa's and she doesn't hesitate to hoist the blonde up and to walk her over to the bed, hovering above her, as Clarke kept her legs tightly around her waist. 

 

Lexa tugs on Clarke's t-shirt and the blonde sits up, holding her hands above her head, so Lexa can quickly remove the offending fabric smoothly and quickly, except Clarke hadn't bothered to put a bra on, since she had been going to bed, and she'd just showered, so she was bare chested and Lexa completely falters. Her movements still and Clarke smirks at the look in Lexa's eyes as she stares hungrily at her exposed breasts. "My eyes are up here." Clarke teases with a laugh. Lexa's eyes dart from her chest, to her eyes, before she breaks out into a huge grin - a grin that makes Clarke feel a little giddy.  _ Thanks girls, _ she mentally thanks her breasts as Lexa leans down and slowly begins to pay attention to them. 

 

She pads at them, gently massaging them, and causes Clarke to shudder and her hips to buck. She unwraps her legs and tugs on Lexa's shirt, unsatisfied with how much clothing she still had on. Lexa pauses her movements, to allow Clarke to remove her shirt, and then she looks down at the blonde. "Are you sure?" Lexa husks though Clarke doesn't miss the flicker of her eyes. Clarke brings her hands up to cup Lexa's face bringing her down for a soft gentle kiss as opposed to the passion filled sloppy ones that they had just been exchanging - that was Clarke's answer. 

 

"Are  _ you  _ sure?" Clarke asks, once she pulls away, still holding Lexa's face in her hands. Lexa nods her head and they stay like that for a moment, staring at one another, giving each other a chance to back out if they wanted to, but neither do. 

 

Lexa begins kissing down Clarke's neck again to her collarbone, nipping at the skin there and leaving small bruises, when she pulls away she's almost certain at least one of those will stick and an odd satisfaction settles in her gut with the thought of Clarke wearing a mark to remember this by, then the brunette returns to what she had now deemed her favourite place in the universe: Clarke's breasts. 

 

She brings her mouth to one nipple, nipping and sucking on it, and Clarke lets out a soft moan at the action with her eyes closing. Eventually, Clarke grows impatient with the brunette who, she was sure, would probably be more than happy to spend her time playing with Clarke's breasts but Clarke was impatient and she wanted  _ more _ . 

 

She removes Lexa's bra as the brunette works at her nipples and then her hands trail down Lexa's perfectly sculpted back, tickling her skin, and causing goosebumps to rise, she circles around her hips until she find the button on her pants. She fumbles with the button for a moment before Lexa's swatting her hands away and grinning against Clarke's skin. "Patience young one." Lexa cooes and Clarke lets out a huff of annoyance at the brunette. 

 

"Lexa, I swear to God, if you spend any more time up there then-  _ oh _ ." Clarke's words die in her throat when she feels Lexa's hands at the waistband of her boxer shorts, tugging tortuously slow, as she slowly pulls them away. Clarke can feel just how wet she is, it’s kind of embarrassing, and she plans on distracting Lexa from that fact by unbuttoning her pants and tugging on them. Lexa has to move away from Clarke in order to kick off her tight fitting jeans but she removes them in lightening speed, which is probably a new world record for fastest removal of pants during sex, before she’s returning to Clarke as quickly as possible. 

 

Clarke giggles at Lexa's eagerness, kicking off her boxer shorts, and the brunette smiles against her skin at hearing Clarke’s giggles. Lexa places a thigh between Clarke's legs and the blonde grunts in surprise and the sudden friction there. The brunette's mouth is  _ everywhere _ , marking Clarke's skin as much as possible as she grinds down on her. Clarke lets out breathy moans into Lexa's ear, arousing her and encouraging her to go faster. 

 

After a while of grinding Clarke can feel the tightening in her stomach, a tell tale sign that her orgasm was growing, and quite quickly, no way was she about to finish this early, that would be mortifying, especially when Lexa hasn't really done anything. "Lex." Clarke moans when Lexa applies more pressure and the slickness against the brunette's thigh is warm in the best possible ways. "Lex... you... need to... stop." Clarke says and Lexa stops immediately her eyes flooding with concern and worry. 

 

"Did I do something you didn't like? Did I hurt you?" Lexa asks. Clarke smiles at her, letting her hand cup the back of her neck, and stares up at the girl above her. 

 

"No Lexa, you were making me feel a little  _ too  _ good." Clarke admits. "I don't want to come yet." She explains and Lexa lets out a breath of relief. It was cute, the way that Lexa so obviously cared about her, and, had Clarke not been underneath the brunette, with their naked bodies pressed against each other, she might even just take a breather to appreciate the fact that Lexa was so soft and gentle with her... but she had much more pressing urges. 

 

Clarke hadn't had much time having her way with Lexa and uses the momentum of Lexa's breath of relief to pull her down and flip their positions. Lexa lands against the mattress with a grunt of surprise, her green eyes wide as she realises what just happened, but, before she can do anything, Clarke is sitting on her abdomen, legs bent either side of Lexa’s sides, and her hands are gently squeezing Lexa's breasts as she brings her lips to Lexa's. 

 

The brunette moans, surrendering herself to Clarke immediately, and Clarke happens to find that so hot that she begins her descent, kissing the corner of Lexa's lips, Lexa's eyes are closed as Clarke trails her lips over her cheek, to her prefect jaw bone, down her neck, to her collarbone, making her way down Lexa’s body so she can suck on the brunette's nipple. Lexa's back arches into the mattress and Clarke smirks against her skin at the reaction she was getting from the brunette. 

 

She pulls her underwear down her legs and Lexa kicks them the rest of the way off - not wanting the fabric on her anymore than Clarke did. Clarke's hand drifts to her waist, grazing the skin there, before moving closer to where Lexa really wanted her. Lexa lets out a whimper at the ghost of Clarke's hand when she feels a finger run through her slick lips. Lexa takes a sharp breath in, holding it for a moment, before releasing it harshly and Clarke grins at the sight. "Jesus Lex." Clarke husks in her ear. "You're so wet for me." Clarke's voice is the perfect blend of tease and seduction and Lexa feels herself shudder under her touch. 

 

"Clarke." Lexa rasps. "Please can you just-" Lexa stops when she feels two fingers press against her clit. " _ Fuck _ ." She breathes and Clarke finds it so satisfying to hear Lexa curse because it was so rare. Clarke circles her clit, earning her a few breathy moans, accompanied by the thrusting of Lexa's hips that were silently asking for more, but Clarke wanted to hear her say it. 

 

"What do you want Lexa?" Clarke asks lowly pressing down a little harder. Lexa whimpers, her eyes screwing closed for a moment, before she steadies herself. 

 

"You." She replies and that's not exactly the response that Clarke had expected but boy does it do some wonderful things to her body. She decides that's good enough and slips one finger inside of Lexa relishing in how wet she was for her. Lexa lets out an audible moan now, instead of her usual quiet breathy ones, and Clarke begins a steady rhythm, waiting for Lexa to adjust, before she slips another finger inside. "God, Clarke." Lexa plants her hands on the blonde's shoulders, leaning back into the pillow, and Clarke smirks. 

 

Clarke picks up her pace and Lexa's moans grow in pace and pitch and Clarke's almost certain she could probably get off at the sight of seeing Lexa squirm underneath her. She's beautiful and she doesn't even know it. Lexa's face contorts in concentration and Clarke knows she's trying to hold back her moans. "Say my name Lexa." Clarke encourages, slowing her thrusts and pressing her thumb to Lexa's clit. 

 

" _ Clarke _ ..." Lexa gasps her eyes open and blue meets green. "Faster." Lexa's eyes are begging but the demand comes out strong and steady. Clarke happily obliges, thrusting harder and faster, while maintaining her eye contact with Lexa. Her hands, that were planted on Clarke's shoulders, tighten and when Clarke curls her fingers inside of her Lexa's head flies back in pure pleasure and the loudest moan Clarke has heard yet leaves her mouth. She's found that spot and Lexa knows that it probably won't be long before she's coming in Clarke's hand. "Fuck." She grunts. The blonde begins thrusting and curling in a beautiful combination of pure bliss for the brunette, continuing to rub her clit to encourage her further, Lexa grinds down on her, her grip impossibly tight on Clarke’s shoulders. 

 

It takes Lexa merely two minutes before she's there and the tightening in her stomach feels impossibly tight and she knows she's close but she also doesn't want it to be over so quickly. "Clarke,  _ shit _ , I'm gonna...  _ Clarke _ ! I'm gonna-!" Clarke curls her fingers one final time, and she feels Lexa's walls clench around her fingers as the brunette finds her release, her hands tighten as her body shudders before going slack as she collapses back into the mattress. 

 

Clarke keeps up her movements, coaxing Lexa down from her high, watching Lexa come in her hand had sent a noticeable throb between Clarke's legs. Clarke kisses back up her as Lexa's chest rises and falls coming down steadily from her high. "Was that good?" Clarke teases and Lexa cracks her eyes open. 

 

"Shut up and stop being so smug." Lexa replies with an almost drunken smile. "Kiss me Griffin." Lexa demands and Clarke's more than happy to lean down and kiss her on the lips but Lexa's just as sneaky as Clarke and she flips them over so they're back to their original position. 

 

Lexa begins kissing down her body, pausing at Clarke's breasts where Clarke taps her on the head coaxing a laugh from the brunette. "Can I-" Lexa pauses, unsure of how to ask but also kind of really wanting to taste Clarke. "Can I go down on you?" Clarke's eyes light up and widen at the same time. 

 

"Please do." She replies and Lexa grins at seeing how eager Clarke was for her to do such a thing. The brunette grabs a nearby hair tie, and ties her hair out of the way, before settling between Clarke's legs. The blonde opens her legs and Lexa smirks earning her a glare from the blonde. The brunette kisses Clarke's inner thighs, teasing her as much as she could, like Clarke had with her fingers, she kisses so close but it's not close enough. Clarke wants  _ more  _ and, considering she had been close to the edge before, Lexa was playing a dangerous game. 

 

Lexa takes Clarke's clit in her mouth, first sucking on it then nibbling, causing Clarke's hips to twitch and a quite loud moan to escape her lips - Clarke was relieved that her parents weren't near her room. Lexa's so slow and purposeful, drawing it out as much as she can, before her hot tongue runs through Clarke's wet folds, exploring Clarke's sex with her tongue. She makes a mental map of every fold of Clarke’s centre and Clarke just squirms closing her eyes tightly. 

 

When Lexa adds a finger it surprises Clarke enough for a groan to fill the room. " _ Holy shit _ \-  _ Lexa _ ." Clarke chokes as Lexa adds a second finger, slowly pumping and curling in a steady rhythm as her tongue licks and sucks at her clit. The brunette does that for a few minutes, switching between curling and thrusting, and Clarke's pretty sure she's on cloud nine until she feels the brunette's fingers slip out of her. She was about to ask what the  _ hell  _ Lexa thought she was doing when she felt her tongue at her entrance. Lexa pushes in and a cross between a moan, a whimper and a yelp spills out of Clarke. 

 

She throws her legs over Lexa's shoulders, and the brunette lifts them off the bed a little to allow herself a better angle, and Clarke feels the brunette thrust in and out of her with her tongue. Clarke's hand finds its way to Lexa's hair, pushing the brunette deeper and harder as numerous curses and moans spill from her mouth. Lexa doesn't let up, encouraged by Clarke's hand, she only goes harder and faster, relishing in the high pitched moans Clarke lets out as she does so, before she knows it, Clarke's squirming and whimpering. "Shit Lex... I'm-  _ I’m close _ ." She grunts out and that spurs Lexa on as she continues her assault. 

 

Lexa continues and then, quite abruptly, Lexa feels Clarke's walls clench around her tongue and the blonde lets out her loudest moan yet, a breathy " _ Lexa _ ." that makes Lexa feel a shoot of pleasure in her own private place. She gently lowers Clarke to the mattress, not pulling her mouth away just yet, licking and tasting all of Clarke, until the blonde forces the brunette away her nerves too sensitive. 

 

Lexa wipes her chin, staring at the blonde who looked completely wiped out. She gestures for Lexa to come up to her and Lexa crawls up her body, kissing her roughly on the lips and instantly allowing her access to taste herself on Lexa's tongue. Clarke moans at the taste and the feeling of Lexa slowly sinking into her was ethereal. Little beads of sweat had gathered on their bodies and Lexa, being Lexa, peppers light kisses all over Clarke's body, gentle and sweet, kissing every inch of skin she could before her head settles on her chest. 

 

She pulls out the hair tie, tossing it on the bedside table, and Clarke's hands instantly begin smoothing out the brunette's curls. Lexa sighs contently as Clarke massages her scalp with her eyes closing form exhaustion of what had just happened. She hadn't meant for  _ that  _ to happen but damn was she happy it had. 

 

Clarke chuckles when she feels Lexa palm one of her breasts and Lexa smiles against her skin. "Is that your new favourite place?" Clarke teases and Lexa doesn't let up. 

 

"I'm never leaving." Lexa decides. "Put death by Clarke Griffin's boobs on my gravestone because I'm not leaving." Clarke laughs pulling the covers up over them. Lexa sighs, feeling her body heat blend with Clarke's was comforting in a way she never knew it could be. She moves her hands to Clarke's bare waist and pulls her against her naked body in an embrace. Clarke smiles, kissing Lexa on the top of the head, closing her eyes from her own exhaustion. 

 

"Are you okay?" Clarke asks and Lexa nods her head. 

 

"I'm better than okay." Lexa responds. "Never leaving." She sleepily mutters and Clarke chuckles. 

 

"Yeah, yeah, goodnight Lexa." Clarke says lightly. Lexa leans her head back and Clarke leans down to kiss her on the lips one final time. 

 

"Goodnight Clarke, may you dream of everything you desire." Lexa says already half asleep. Clarke smiles to herself, wondering why she would dream about that when everything she's ever been looking for, or wanted, was right in front of her, in her arms, and sleeping like an angel.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things happened. Actually, a lot of things happened, but they finally did the do and oh man... They still haven't hashed out their feelings but it's pretty damn obvious - they just need to say them out loud, like, really say them out loud and sort out any confusion. I'm very excited for the next chapter, it's going to be fun. Drop me a comment with what you thought/think is going to happen, or just anything because I love all comments, and I'll see you all with a new chapter hopefully asap. Oh, also, this chapter was extra long, so sorry about that, in the end it had about 18k words, like, what, and around 3K of those was the sex scene so... It's a long chapter.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Does she know that you play hungry hippos?" Raven asks lightly and Lexa chuckles. 
> 
> "Who says hungry hippos doesn't require logical strategies?" Lexa asks and Raven scoffs. 
> 
> "Seriously Ray, who loses four times in a row to hungry hippos?" Clarke pipes up and Raven glares at the blonde who couldn't see her anyway since she had her eyes closed. 
> 
> "You weren't there Griffin." Raven protests. "Your fiancée seriously knows her way around that game."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of Princess Mechanic this chapter because I love their friendship dynamic but don't worry lots of fluffy Clexa too. This chapter's another long one, just for y'all, but word of warning I was reading through this while watching the Euro league football finale so it might have more mistakes than usual - I also had to carefully avoid my parents, who were drifting around, because I did not want them to see what I was doing ;) Anyway, enjoy this chapter!

Again Clarke found herself waking up before Lexa, though the brunette had had a pretty emotionally draining day, plus, Clarke didn't like to brag, but she was pretty sure it had been a pretty physically exhausting night. The light drifting in through the window suggested that it was probably around noon and Clarke honestly did not want to move. 

 

Somehow, in their sleep, Lexa had rolled over and Clarke had melted into her, wrapping Lexa in her arms, making her the little spoon, their naked bodies flushed against each other, and the sheer warmth of Lexa, and the gentle rise and fall of her ribcage against Clarke's front, was intoxicating and Clarke never wanted to leave. The afternoon light made Lexa's skin appear even more tanned than Clarke had remembered it to be and she was pretty sure she'd never tire of feeling Lexa against her after spending the night with her. 

 

Clarke liked to think she had some self control, or that she could resist Lexa in some way, but she just couldn't help herself and leans her lips against Lexa's shoulder blade sighing at the toned muscles that were relaxed there. One kiss was not enough for Clarke and she begins kissing the brunette further up her back with her arms tightening protectively around Lexa's waist in an attempt to hold her closer. 

 

Clarke knows the precise moment that Lexa wakes up, it's not right away, she stirs a little, and mumbles something incoherently in her sleep that makes Clarke smile wide, but then there's a twitch in her shoulder blade, the subtle tightening of muscles, and Clarke just knows that Lexa's eyes are open even though she can't see them. She stops her kissing, allowing her finger to trace over the brunette's delicate skin to the intricate tattoo on her upper arm. "It's noon," Clarke whispers. "we should probably go downstairs... our parents will probably be expec-" 

 

"Shhh." Lexa interrupts not bothering to turn over to face the blonde. The gesture causes Clarke's lips to twitch in amusement and the realisation that Lexa just wanted to enjoy being close to her makes Clarke feel almost giddy. Clarke leans back slightly, allowing enough room for her finger to trace the beautiful tattoo on Lexa's back that she had shown Clarke back in Arkadia. Lexa sighs contentedly, shivering from the tickling sensation she felt down her spine, at having Clarke's fingers pressed to her back, ghosting over smooth delicate skin, inked with a beautiful design, equally as beautiful as the woman who wore it. 

 

Lexa must grow tired of Clarke's gentle touch because she rolls over so she's facing the blonde and Clarke raises an eyebrow with a playful smirk on her lips at the brunette. "So last night was..." Lexa trails off considering what she should say - or if she should say what she planned to say. "Good." Lexa frowns for a second before shaking her head. "No, not good, amazing, breathtaking, best night of my life, bliss-" Lexa's words are cut off by Clarke’s hearty laugh that lifts Lexa's lips up into a broad smile. 

 

"You're a dork." Clarke says pecking her on the nose. 

 

"I am." Lexa agrees snuggling into Clarke's chest. She feels Lexa's hands ghost over her back and the blonde remembers their previous night together: Lexa had been so gentle, so caring and attentive, Clarke was pretty sure she'd never had that kind of intimacy with anyone - even Finn. 

 

Finn had been sweet, and he acted as though he had cared deeply when they had made love, but there has never been anything really  _ special  _ about the whole thing compared to Lexa last night. Finn was like a bull in a china shop, rough and messy, whereas Lexa had been purposeful and almost  _ loving  _ with her touches and treatments of Clarke. She felt a little guilty comparing her ex lover to...  _ whatever  _ Lexa was -  _ her fiancée, her friend, her friends with benefits? _ \- but she couldn't help it. 

 

That's when it hits Clarke: they hadn't just had sex last night, they had made love. It hadn't been about release, okay, maybe it had been a little bit about release, but it had been far too slow and blissful for it to have just been purely to get off on each other plus the way that Lexa was now caressing her skin, while her head made itself at home in the crook of Clarke's neck, it was pretty clear that it hadn't just been about sex. 

 

Yet there was an uneasy feeling in Clarke's gut, they hadn't talked about their feelings,  _ really _ , only shared kisses in the forest and exchanged a few words, but nothing had actually really been voiced about how they felt - maybe last night gave Lexa an idea of Clarke's affection for her but it barely scratched the surface. Clarke really, really,  _ really _ , liked Lexa. She hadn't felt this strongly about anyone in her entire life and, dare she say, that included Finn. She wasn't in love,  _ no _ ,  _ not yet _ , she wasn't in lust,  _ that was for certain _ , she was in like, she was in very like, she was in ‘I-want-to-be-in-a-relationship-with-you-but-we're-already-engaged-so-how-the-hell does-that-work?’ 

 

Clarke was  _ stuck,  _ her feelings unvoiced, this arranged marriage had been only to get her parents off her back and now she felt trapped because she couldn't date Lexa like she would have traditionally, then again, they had slept together, that was jumping quite a few steps, but, at the same time, it felt right. Clarke was utterly and totally confused and, to seek out some kind of comfort, she reaches for Lexa, mentally wishing she'd come closer, and, either the brunette can read minds or she can read Clarke's body's desires already but, the brunette does move closer her lips landing on her neck. 

 

Lexa's leg wraps around Clarke's hip and the blonde groans encouraging Lexa to rock against her a little as she moves her lips up to Clarke's lips to kiss her properly. Before anything good can really happen the door to the bedroom flings open and Lexa startles off of Clarke in shock and Clarke freezes with a look of a deer being caught in headlights expression dawning on her face. 

 

Except, Clarke knew that her parents never entered her room without knocking first but the panic she felt at the loud interruption blocked that fact from reaching her conscious mind. " _ Dios mio _ !" A yell of surprise rings out and Clarke instantly knows who it is - only Raven Reyes would use Spanish when walking in on that. "Shit, sorry to interrupt, I thought you guys were sleeping but, I see you were clearly not." She wiggles her eyebrows and Lexa's the reddest shade of red that Clarke's ever seen. 

 

"Oh my god Raven." Clarke says scowling at her friend. "We were busy." Clarke huffs and Raven smirks. 

 

"Yeah, you were  _ getting  _ busy." She teases and Clarke picks up the pillow from behind her and throws it at Raven in annoyance who laughs hysterically. "Hey, it's fine, don't mind me, just finish up what you were doing." Raven says. "You don’t mind if I watch right?" Clarke was wrong about Lexa being the reddest shade of red before because the brunette blushes even more furiously and Clarke was worried she might actually die from embarrassment. 

 

"Raven," it comes out like a growl and Raven's smirk widens. " _ Get. Out. Now _ ." The blonde huffs grabbing another pillow and hurling it at the brunette smiling when it smacks her right in the face. 

 

"Alright, alright, geez, I'm going, I just came to tell you guys that we leave for Arkadia at two so you guys can like bang for two more hours befor-" Raven doesn't get to finish her sentence when something rougher than a pillow hits her in the face and she pulls it away to see that Clarke had thrown a shirt in her face. "I'm leaving okay? But I'm keeping this." She says turning around and closing the door. 

 

Clarke remains silent, listening as her friend's footsteps disappear down the hall, before turning to face a beet red Lexa. Lexa shakes her head, standing and grabbing her underwear up from the ground, covering herself up and then picking up one of her favourite sleeping shirts - the Rolling Stones one, the one that made her damn irresistible. "I'm going to shower." Lexa excuses nervously and Clarke sits up her eyes saddened a little. 

 

"Lex," Clarke calls out and the brunette halts. "I'm sorry about Raven, she's... she's an idiot. You don't have to be embarrassed, I'll kick her ass later." 

 

"It's okay Clarke." Lexa replies. The blonde watches as the bathroom door closes and she drops back into her bed with a loud sigh. She'd very much been looking forward to more time with Lexa, in bed, cuddling, or doing other activities, but now that was over and it looked like Lexa had gone into shut down mode. 

 

Clarke wanted to groan in frustration when the bathroom door opens again and Lexa was leaning against the doorframe, toothbrush hanging out of her mouth, as though she realised that she'd been a little harsh with her emotionless mask and clipped tone. "Hey," Lexa's voice is soft and inviting and her eyes have that glimmer in them that Clarke still hadn't been able to decrypt but it warms her very being. "so I could use a shower..." Lexa's tone is suggestive and Clarke's eyebrow cocks up in a suspicious action that causes the brunette to grin as she continues to brush her teeth. "I mean, looks like there's room for two-  _ maybe _ ? I'm not sure." Clarke perks up at that and she feels her body vibrate with excitement at Lexa's words. 

 

"Oh really?" Clarke asks. "Maybe we'll just have to check that out?" Clarke suggests. Lexa stands there, a teasing grin on her face, and Clarke knows that this had all just been a tease, a way to put Clarke's nerves at ease, and let her know that Lexa hadn't gone all shut down mode, only that she'd been caught off guard, and it was amazing how Clarke got all of that from a simple tease. 

 

"Maybe some other time." Lexa says. "I'd hate to delay our departure time." The bathroom door closes again and Clarke lets out a breath of irritation and fondness. 

 

" _ Smartass _ ." She mutters before collapsing back into bed, grabbing Lexa's pillow, since she'd thrown her's at Raven, breathing in, the brunette's scent, Clarke drifts off back to sleep with Lexa on her mind and the memory of her on her lips and other parts of her body. They'd talk later, like,  _ really  _ talk. 

 

She hears the shower hiss in the bathroom and figures she should probably get up anyway. She grabs a discarded shirt from the ground, realising that it was Lexa's button up that Clarke had pulled off her last night, she pulls it on, fastening up the buttons, and grabs her discarded boxer shorts from the ground as well. She stands up from the bed and exits her bedroom. 

 

The blonde walks down the hallway and makes her way to the kitchen downstairs thankful that she doesn't bump into her parents or Lexa's mom on her way. She enters the kitchen and sees Raven leaning against one of the islands sipping a mug of coffee that says ' _ World's Best Mechanic _ ', a mug that Clarke had bought specifically for her best friend, and Raven kept it here for whenever she visited. "Morning sunshine." Raven comments raising an eyebrow when she takes in Clarke's appearance. Clarke had to admit that wearing Lexa's shirt made her feel comfortable beyond belief - she loved wearing the other girl's shirts for some reason; all of Lexa's clothes were soft. "So I see you had a pretty eventful night huh?" Raven asks with a smirk. 

 

"Don't even start." Clarke warns trudging over to pour herself her own coffee. 

 

"Hey, I'm proud of you Griff Griff, maybe now I can eat my breakfast around you two without suffocating on the sexual tension in the air." Raven says. "So come on puta,  _ spill _ ." Raven prompts prodding Clarke on the arm. 

 

"What is it with you and your Spanish words?" Clarke asks grumpily, sipping on her coffee. 

 

"Spanish is a beautiful language Clarke." Raven retorts and Clarke rolls her eyes. 

 

"You took  _ one  _ class junior year and now you seem to think you're like the Queen of Spanish." Clarke grumbles. "And I'm not spilling anything Rave, what Lexa and I do is none of your damn business." 

 

"But  _ Clarke _ ," Raven whines, pouting at the blonde. "you  _ always  _ tell me the dirty details." She says and she kind of did have a point, because Raven was always the first to know about Clarke's experiences in bed, but this was different, last night felt...  _ intimate _ . "Come on, I always did say green eyes looked like she'd be a good lay." Raven says and Clarke scowls at her. "Clarke, I'm begging you, details,  _ please _ ." She begs. Clarke groans before setting her mug down. 

 

She sighs, truth be told, as much as she didn't want to talk about last night she also really wanted to talk about it. Clarke glances around before turning towards Raven and the mechanic's eyes light up in excitement. "God, Raven, she was the best I've ever had." Clarke says her eyes drifting closed for a moment before reopening. 

 

"The best?" Raven asks, raising her eyebrows, she wanted to know more,  _ obviously _ , especially with the look that just crossed Clarke's features. 

 

"Okay, so she was just  _ grinding  _ on me and I almost lost it like, I've never nearly come from such little movements, but she had me damn close." Clarke begins. 

 

"Hot." Raven says appreciatively with a smirk. 

 

"Then I flipped us over." Clarke says and Raven makes a comment about how Clarke would do that. Clarke explains briefly about Lexa but this was mostly about how Lexa had pleasured Clarke more than anything. "Then she asked me if she could go down on me." Raven's eyes widen. 

 

"Jesus, she's even a fucking gentlewoman while having sex." Raven says and Clarke laughs. "Marry her." Raven states. 

 

"I'm trying." Clarke reminds her. "Anyways, her tongue," Clarke closes her eyes, and tilts her head back a little from the memory, before focusing back on Raven. " _ gift. From. God _ ." Clarke says seriously. 

 

She was about to explain further when someone clears their throat from the doorway. Clarke spins around, eyes wide and fearful about being overheard, when she turns she sees Alfred in his suit and his arms behind his back. "Good afternoon Miss Griffin." He greets and Clarke realises that it was lunch -  _ technically _ . "Your parents and Ms. Woods went out for lunch," he explains. "would you like me to begin cleaning your room now or..." He trails off and Clarke feels her cheeks burn with embarrassment. 

 

"Later Alfred, that would be good." Clarke answers,  _ one _ , because Lexa was showering, and  _ two _ , because sending Alfred in now would mean he would see the remnants of the night before. He gives a nods of the head, and a teasing, knowing, smile, before walking away. 

 

Raven raises her eyebrows and holds her mug up to Clarke with a cheeky grin. Clarke pushes her away playfully and the mechanic stumbles away from her laughing. "I'm proud Clarke, jealous, but proud." Raven comments with a wink. "Looks like you got a souvenir from last night." Raven pokes at a bruise just at the base of Clarke's neck - it was just peeking out since the top two buttons of the shirt she was wearing were undone. Clarke looks down to see the mark and brings her finger to it; something about being left with this reminder on her skin made Clarke shudder with warmth. 

 

She's so distracted that she doesn't even notice when Raven straightens up. "There's the stud herself." Raven comments with a teasing grin. Clarke looks up at Raven in confusion then glances behind her to see Lexa. 

 

"Good morning to you too Raven." Lexa says rolling her eyes at the mechanic's comment. 

 

"It's the afternoon actually." Raven corrects. "Maybe if you weren't so tired from your night's activities you wouldn't have woken up half way through the day." 

 

"I'll keep that in mind for next time." Lexa responds. Clarke freezes at her words,  _ next time?  _ Lexa said next time which meant that she thought this was going to happen again,  _ right? _ A burst of butterflies in Clarke's stomach makes her feel giddy and excited and a smile spreads across her face at the implication. 

 

Raven notices her friend's mood, and rolls her eyes, she heads towards the fridge to give the two some space. "Hey," Lexa comes up beside Clarke and leans against the counter slightly. "so I think we need to talk." Lexa says and Clarke nods in agreement. "Is there somewhere we can go?" She asks curiously and Clarke nods her head again. 

 

"Yeah, there's this place where I used to go as a kid, we can take a walk through the woods?" Clarke suggests and Lexa nods her head smiling at the suggestion. "I just need to shower and get dressed." 

 

"Why?" Lexa asks eyeing her up and down. "I like it when you wear my shirt." She comments casually. Raven, who still had her head buried in the fridge, was trying to avoid their conversation but she's nosy and Clarke could tell she was probably listening in. 

 

"Then I'll have to wear it more often." Clarke says. 

 

"Hm." Lexa hums in agreement. 

 

"I have to ask, before I go," Clarke says and Lexa stands up straight listening carefully. "was last night a mistake? Like, was it just an in the moment kind of thing?" Clarke asks. Lexa seems to think about her answer for a moment, her green eyes searching the blue orbs in front of her for something. 

 

"It was an in the moment kind of thing." Lexa says and Clarke feels her heart drop and her body deflate in disappointment. "But it was  _ not  _ a mistake." Lexa adds and Clarke feels her heart lifting up again. "It caught me off guard but I'm glad that it happened... Why? Do you feel like it was a mistake?" Lexa asks nervously and Clarke chuckles. She leans up, placing two fingers under Lexa's chin to lift her face slightly into the right angle, and kisses her gently on the lips. It's brief but it's enough for Lexa to know that Clarke didn't regret last night. 

 

The blonde pulls away, flashing Lexa a bright smile one last time, before hurrying off to go get dressed. Lexa watches after her for a moment until she hears a gagging noise coming from over by the fridge. She turns to see Raven pulling a face at her and Lexa raises her eyebrows at her. "You two were disgusting before but now you're both horrifying." She clarifies and Lexa lets out a small laugh at the comment. "I like you Lexa, you're a good person." 

 

"What do you mean?" Lexa asks curiously, she always did wonder why Raven liked her - after Lexa had tripped over the mechanic's legs that had been sticking out from underneath a car, and they'd talked into the evening about nothing in particular, they’d become good friends. It was a easy thing for Lexa, Raven was easy, normally Lexa didn't make good first impressions but, with Raven, she'd hit it off almost immediately. 

 

"Because when I first met you you never even paid an ounce of interest to this bad boy." Raven gestures to her leg that was in a brace and Lexa frowns. "Even when you tripped over my legs you just ignored it, treated me like I was just anybody, got a little pissed but that's understandable, you treated me with respect, like I was normal, and people don't really do that." Raven explains. Lexa shakes her head, shrugging her shoulders, not completely understanding what was so amazing about that. 

 

"You're still a person Raven." Lexa says. "Your leg doesn't change that fact, it doesn't even make me a good person, just means I'm decent, you don't deserve to be treated like anything less." Lexa says. She's surprised when two arms wrap around her neck and Raven's hugging her. Lexa quickly returns the gesture, patting Raven on the back and relaxing her muscles that had tensed in instinct. 

 

"You're a  _ good  _ person Lexa." Raven repeats still hugging her. "You're putting Clarke back together piece by piece and you don't even realise it." Lexa pulls back from the hug to look at Raven with a questioning gaze. She didn't understand what Raven meant by that statement but the mechanic just grins at her wide and playful - the classic Raven Reyes grin. "Don't worry about it commander," Raven says patting her on the shoulder. "I wouldn't expect you to see the difference." Lexa was about to reply, to ask what Raven was talking about, when someone interrupted them before she could speak. 

 

"You ready?" Lexa turns around to see Clarke standing in the doorway. Raven rolls her eyes and hands Lexa two bagels. 

 

"You two need to eat." She orders wiggling her eyebrows. "Can't have one you passing out because you decided food was less important than sex." 

 

" _ Raven _ !" Clarke yells and Lexa blushes but takes the bagels anyway. She looks at Raven one final time, telling the brunette that their conversation wasn't over, before she hurries after Clarke, handing her one of the bagels with a smile. The blonde accepts the bagel with a smile and begins walking out with her fiancée by her side. 

 

Raven watches them for a minute, her explanation had gone unvoiced but she knew she was right - she was Raven Reyes after all, it was rare she was ever wrong. Lexa didn't know how much she had helped Clarke because she didn't know what Clarke was like before she got here, she didn't see just how much she had brought the old smiley, happy, bubbly, Clarke Griffin back and Raven was a little overwhelmed by it. Before Lexa Clarke had been faking all of that but now it was genuine and Raven was just happy to see her best friend was finally happy again. Truth be told, she hasn't been truly happy for a long time, even with Finn, after a while Clarke seemed to be weighed down, like she was carrying something that she didn't know what to do with on her shoulders, but now, now she was just  _ Clarke _ .

 

**//**

It was silent between the two of them. They were walking through the forest, holding hands, and there was nothing being said. It was almost awkward. It seemed like the whole of the wildlife in the woods had scattered and left leaving Clarke and Lexa in dead silence saying nothing to each other. This was Clarke's biggest fear, she was worried that things had permanently changed, that Lexa didn't know how to act around her, and things were just  _ awkward _ . 

 

Except, the way that Lexa was holding her hand she wasn't so sure that was true. The brunette tugs on Clarke's arm gently, pulling her closer to her side, and Clarke smiles happily all her concerns eluding her for a moment. Lexa wasn't being awkward, she wasn't even being silent because she didn't know what to say, she was just enjoying being with Clarke and the peacefulness that came with strolling through Polis.

 

It was warm but the sky was overcast and the air was humid - like it needed to rain and the first signs of a storm that was to come. It was nice, enjoying the scenery and holding Lexa's hand, but it wasn't  _ enough.  _ Clarke was dying to talk, for Lexa to say  _ something _ , because the silence was killing her, but, before Clarke has a chance to say anything, Lexa speaks for her. "There's a lake." She says nodding her head in the direction of the lake. 

 

Clarke stops walking, her eyes falling on the lake, this hadn't been what she was talking about, in fact, she'd often avoided the lake - she didn't particularly like large bodies of water that were deep because she couldn't swim. It wasn't even really a lake, it was more of a pond, and her father had often come here to fish. 

 

Clarke was about to reply when she realised that Lexa was no longer beside her, holding her hand, she was heading towards the lake and Clarke hurries after her. Lexa stands on one of the piers that stretched just over the water a little but Clarke also knew that it was deep at the end of them. She approaches cautiously, a little nervous, when Lexa turns around and smiles at her. Clarke suddenly forgets her fear of the water and stands beside her fiancée looking out at the water that was rippling ever so slightly in one direction from the small breeze. 

 

Clarke glances up at Lexa who was staring out at the lake, her hands tucked into her pockets and her head raised ever so slightly. Clarke wanted to photograph Lexa right then and there, she looked like a model, and her brunette hair and tanned complexion went well with the white blanket of clouds that she was against. Clarke wanted to paint her, or do  _ something _ , to memorise Lexa in this moment. 

 

Again, the silence was too much for Clarke to bear and she just had to break it. "Lex-" Clarke begins only to be cut off by the brunette. 

 

"No, let me say this or I might not say it at all and I really need you to hear this." Lexa says, turning to face Clarke, she pleads silently with her eyes and all Clarke can do is nod and encourage her to go on. "I like you Clarke, like, really  _ really  _ like you, and if we were in a position where our relationship was normal, I probably would have asked you to be my girlfriend, but you're not. You're my fiancée and, what's really weird, is I like that you're my fiancée, I just couldn't imagine it being any other way." Lexa explains rubbing her neck. "I want to get to know you better, I want to go on dates, or spend time together, I want to kiss and cuddle with you, I want inside jokes, I want to learn the little details that you don't think matter, because that's what makes you  _ you  _ and I want to know you Clarke, I really do." She says and she stares into Clarke's eyes with such intensity that Clarke's immediately captivated by the green staring at her, her heart rate picks up and she can't believe what the brunette was saying. 

 

"I never thought I'd feel this way about anyone again but I do and I'm scared, I'm so scared Clarke, but I don't want to let this slip." She continues turning to face Clarke properly, pulling her hands from her pockets, she takes the blonde's hands in her own. "Last night was not a mistake, and I do not regret it, I don't think I could even if I tried, but I'm getting to that scary feely place and I just want things to slow down a little, you know? I've never been good at this whole relationship thing, when we were engaged it didn't really matter because we had our own reasons for doing it, but now, well, now I don't want to mess this up and the only way I know how to not mess up is by taking things slow and just really getting to know you." Lexa shakes her head a little, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. 

 

"I'm rambling like an idiot." She says. "Basically, I want this," Lexa squeezes Clarke's hands. "I want you, I want us, I want to be with you. I like you and I don't know how you feel but I know there's something between us, something strong, like a connection that's not... it’s not able to be put into words, and I just- I feel like a complete idiot right now but that's what I want, that's how I feel." Lexa concludes taking a deep breath and exhaling. Clarke smiles, she almost wanted to say  _ ‘same’,  _ or give some other kind of lame response, because Lexa really had hit the nail on the head. 

 

Clarke wanted all of that too, she wanted to know Lexa Woods down to the T, she wanted to know everything about her, and maybe, by dating, that was her way of doing so. Lexa had confirmed what Clarke had already known, they weren't in love per say, though Clarke felt like they were maybe heading towards that place, and they did know a lot about each other already, since they had been living in close quarters for almost 2 months, but Lexa was right: Clarke wanted to get to know Lexa in a more romantic light. It made sense that Lexa wanted to slow things down a little, the only person she had loved was Costia and she had died, the only person who Lexa had had this kind of connection with had died, so it made sense that she was scared but Clarke knew that Lexa wanted this just as much as she did which was a huge relief. 

 

Clarke feels Lexa squeeze her hands again and she looks up to find her staring at her, looking a little nervous, and Clarke realises that she was waiting for a response. "Yeah, I agree, I want all of that too Lexa." Clarke says snapping back to reality and falling back down from cloud 9 to the ground. "I really  _ really  _ like you too and I've never," Clarke takes a deep breath for the confession that she was about to say. "I mean, I have felt this way about someone in the past but I lost that connection, and I don’t want that with you, I want this to be right, so taking things slow, I'm totally okay with." Clarke says nodding her head. "I want the same things, I feel the same way, and last night was..." Clarke trails off, letting the smile on her face answer that blank for her, and Lexa smiles seeing the broad toothy grin that Clarke has across her face. "No regrets, and I don't think I'll ever have any with you, so, even if we totally blow up, which, by the way, I don't think we will, I know that I won't regret it. The only thing I would regret is not trying." Clarke explains and Lexa nods her head in agreement. 

 

"So I want to be with you too Lex, in whatever capacity that may be, even if you already are my fiancée." Clarke says drawing a chuckle from the brunette. They stare at each other for a long moment, drawing closer to one another, before Lexa gives her a teasing smile. 

 

"So are we like dating now or...?" She asks and Clarke rolls her eyes, shaking her head, while smiling in amusement. 

 

"We're engaged," Clarke says finding herself leaning up ever so slightly. "but I wouldn't mind dating you." Lexa leans down a little more at Clarke's words. They had to be the most complicated couple in the history of couples but something told Clarke that nothing was ever cut and dry with Lexa - they were never simple and, honestly, she wouldn't want it any other way. 

 

Lexa closes the distance, bringing her hand up to cup Clarke's jaw, while the blonde leans forward, leaving her hand on Lexa's hips as the brunette brings her other free hand to rest on Clarke's upper arm. As soon as their lips touch it's like fireworks go off and Clarke swears she hears a click as everything falls into place. Lexa  _ liked  _ her, they were a couple,  _ officially _ , together  _ together _ , like people had told them they should finally do, and she felt like she was in heaven or some other kind of wonder world. Lexa was too good to be true, Lexa being with Clarke was a whole new level of unbelievable, Lexa wanted her and that, in itself, was incomprehensible to the blonde. 

 

She presses harder against Lexa, trying to convey her feelings into the kiss that she may have forgotten, and she feels Lexa press back with equal force as her lips delicately move against Clarke’s own. Clarke knew it then and there: she'd never tire of kissing Lexa, never, not in a million years. Her kisses were beautiful, like they were breathing life into Clarke and yet she always felt breathless after one. 

 

Clarke pulls back and Lexa's eyes flutter open to stare down at the blonde. They stay like that for a moment before Lexa steps away. "So I guess we won't be having sex anymore right?" Lexa asks and, had Clarke been drinking a drink, she probably would've spat it out. 

 

"W-what?" Clarke stutters and Lexa smiles smugly at her before shrugging. 

 

"Well, I mean, I thought we'd wait until after we got married, you know, on the wedding night? I had assumed that was going to be our first night together before but obviously that's not true anymore so waiting seems like a good idea." Lexa explains. "If you think you can keep your hands off of me for that long?" Lexa teases and Clarke shakes her head. 

 

"As long as I get to kiss you and cuddle you then I don't mind." Clarke says and Lexa leans forward slightly to get closer to Clarke. "How long is it till our wedding?" Clarke asks. 

 

"Four months." Lexa answers and Clarke mentally curses. She had abstained from sex for four months and it hadn't exactly been the greatest experience of her life - although that four month wait had ended up with Lexa being her release so things did seem to work out a little in her favour but she'd had a taste of Lexa - _ kind of _ , if you know what she means - and she didn't know if she could resist her for that long again. 

 

"I can wait." Clarke decides and Lexa smiles, kissing her on the forehead and walking back the way they had come. Clarke watches after her with a smile, she tucks her hands back in her pockets and she looked out of place in her smart pants and button up in the woods. 

 

Clarke really, probably, should have been looking where she was going but whenever she was around Lexa she tended to lose focus and being around a lake, not knowing how to swim and being distracted are not a good combination. Clarke jumps back when a bug comes near her face, it's not a big jump, it's tiny really, but it's enough for her heel to touch the edge of the small pier and for her to lose her balance and fall backwards into the water. 

 

Lexa turns around a moment later when she hears the splash. At first, she finds it quite funny, until she notices that Clarke hasn't stopped splashing and the blonde is flailing around. She spurs into action not a second later, diving into the water and grabbing Clarke's waist with her one arm. "Clarke,  _ Clarke _ !" Lexa says trying to stop the girl’s panicking. It seems to work and the blonde stops flailing around, gripping onto Lexa who was keeping them afloat with her one arm that wasn't grabbing Clarke and her strong legs. "It's okay, I've got you." Lexa reassures. Clarke's heart rate settles significantly, staring into Lexa's worried green eyes, she relaxes, understanding that Lexa wouldn't let her drown. 

 

After a moment of just staring at the brunette Clarke lets out a loud laugh, hysterically laughing, at the fact that she'd just fallen into a lake and she couldn't swim, it was hilarious if you really thought about it, and even Lexa couldn't fight back the laugh she felt building in her chest at hearing Clarke who was almost close to tears with her laughter. "Oh my God, I'm such an idiot." Clarke breathes between giggles. Lexa grins at her, her arm tight around the blonde's waist, making sure to keep Clarke close to her. 

 

"You can't swim?" Lexa asks raising her eyebrows. Clarke blushes, it was a little embarrassing that she couldn't but, in all honesty, she's never really needed to swim - plus it always freaked her out especially when her mom came home and started talking about a patient who had almost drowned. Drowning is fucking frightening and Clarke has never, in her life, ever wanted to get close enough to water for that to happen to her. 

 

"It's okay," Lexa says with a fond smile. "I just thought you'd learnt, they usually make you at school." Lexa says with a shrug. 

 

"Drowning is my biggest fear." It spills from her mouth before she can stop it and Lexa's suddenly aware that they're both floating in what could potentially be Clarke's biggest nightmare. "It's... it scares me. So I used to have my dad write me a note to excuse me from swimming lessons, or my mom because, you know, doctor, but the thought of drowning..." Clarke shudders with her face screwing up into a grimace. "It scares me." She concludes. 

 

Clarke knew what happened when you drowned: your body fought against it even though every natural instinct is to breathe, you fight it because the body's first instinct is to survive and taking in that breath would mean death, so it fights, and fights, the pressure builds up, making your head feel like it might explode, until, eventually, you have to take that breath and it's apparently supposed to be peaceful but Clarke can't imagine how that's true. 

 

"Heights." Lexa says snapping Clarke out of her terrifying thoughts. She frowns at the brunette not comprehending what she was talking about. "I'm afraid of heights." Lexa explains. "It's not extreme or anything, it's more of, if there's nothing to catch me underneath then I freak out." Clarke raises her eyebrows at the brunette in question and she sighs. "Okay, for example, roller coasters, they freak me out because so much can go wrong and just being that far up in the air, with like a bar to keep you from falling, doesn't sit right with me, it freaks me out, but then you have water rides, and they can be as big as you want them to be, and I'll go on them because there's water and, I guess, in my head, I just think water equals safety so if I was to fall from the ride I'd be okay, do you get it? Basically, if my mind can't rationalise the safety of falling from the height then I don't like it, it makes me feel sick and I panic." Lexa explains. "Does that make sense?" Lexa asks as an afterthought, not convinced that what she had just said did actually make logical sense, but can fear really be explained? 

 

"I get it." Clarke says with a smile. 

 

"We should get you out of here huh?" Lexa asks realising that they were still floating in Clarke's worst nightmare. 

 

"Yes please baywatch." Clarke teases and Lexa rolls her eyes at the comment, shifting so she can pull Clarke ashore easily and safely. 

 

When they're finally out of the lake, and Clarke has both feet planted safely on solid ground, she slips her hand back into Lexa's and the brunette smiles at the gesture. They begin trudging back through the woods now completely drenched head to toe in nasty lake water, the gentle breeze from before now seems biting and Clarke finds herself inching closer to Lexa for more warmth. "You know, our wedding will fall in the change over of summer to fall." Clarke comments after a moment. Lexa raises her eyebrows curiously and looks down at the blonde. "I was just thinking, I've heard stories about how beautiful Arkadia is in the fall." 

 

"We don't have to," Lexa says. "we can get married wherever you want." 

 

"You're getting married too Lexa, you should have an opinion on where it should be." Clarke says. 

 

"I don't care." Lexa says so freely that Clarke stops in her tracks immediately. She stares at Lexa in disbelief who seems confused before realising what she had implied with her words. "No, no, Clarke, I don't care where we get married." She rushes to explain. "All that matters to me is that you're there, we could get married in city hall, or some beautiful church, hell, we could get married on a farm in a pig's pen and I wouldn't give a damn, so long as it's you that I'm marrying, then it doesn't matter." Lexa says her green eyes wide with panic. Clarke chuckles, wrapping an arm around Lexa's neck, she pulls her down into a kiss. It's short and just a simple peck but Lexa's still left a little breathless from it. 

 

"I'd marry you anywhere too." Clarke says pulling back. "Just, lets hold back on the pigs pen idea, I wouldn't want my shoes to get ruined." Clarke jokes, beginning to walk away, leaving Lexa standing there for a moment. 

 

Lexa watches her walk away, her hips swinging while the blonde strolls away, throwing a teasing grin over her shoulder, and the brunette has to pinch herself in order to remind herself that this is real, that Clarke Griffin is real, and, for some reason, she's chosen to marry Lexa. 

 

Lexa jogs to catch up with her fiancée, once again her hand slipping seamlessly into her's and she gives it a light squeeze in reassurance. They were in like, in fact, if this was any other relationship, they probably would've been girlfriend's, dating, but, alas, they're engaged. Lexa's still a little worried, she's known Clarke for almost two months, lived with her, but does she really know Clarke? What if one day she wakes up and the Clarke she knew was totally different? What if everything about her just changed? 

 

Lexa glances down at her worriedly for a moment but seeing Clarke gazing around her with fondness and lightness she knew that would never happen. Clarke Griffin was an anomaly, the only other person who has ever been able to get under Lexa's skin and stick there. Lexa might even dare to think that her feelings for the blonde ran deeper than just like but she didn't like to tempt fate in such ways. They were connected and Lexa was still trying to figure out what exactly that meant.

 

**//**

 

Once Clarke and Lexa had both changed out of their wet clothes, they had been out long enough that it was time for them to leave for Arkadia once again. Raven was driving her own car down, though she would be staying with Lexa and Clarke, and Lexa's mom was driving her own car down that they had driven up to Polis, which left Clarke and Lexa on their own in Clarke's car. 

 

Lexa makes her way down the stairs, carrying two duffel bags in her hands, noticing that Clarke was talking to Abby about something. Lexa reaches the bottom of the stairs and Alfred takes the bags from her with a smile, nodding his head subtly towards Abby and Clarke with a wink, and Lexa smiles at the gesture mouthing a ‘thank you’ to the butler which he responds to with a wink. 

 

Lexa approaches them carefully, coming up behind Clarke to hear the tail end of their conversation. "You should've found a location already, four months isn’t as much notice as you might think." Abby says before she notices Lexa. "Lexa," She sighs. "do you have any idea about where you would like this wedding to take place?" Abby asks. Lexa wraps her arms around Clarke's waist from behind, causing Clarke to smile as the brunette leans into her and whispers a small ‘hey’, before she turns her full attention to Abby. 

 

"I think Clarke and I were thinking somewhere in Arkadia." Lexa answers. Abby stares at the two with a raised eyebrow and Clarke feels herself tense with anticipation of her mom asking her tons of questions she didn't want to answer yet. 

 

"Then you'll have to have a look around." Abby says and Clarke's relieved she didn't ask her any questions. "Have you thought about what I told you about the hospital?" Abby asks now focusing on Clarke. 

 

"Actually, mom, I was going to look at Arkadia's programme, I heard they have a great intern programme, plus, one of the best neurosurgeons to ever live works there, so I could really learn a thing or too." Clarke says cautiously. "I actually don't know if I still want to specialise in that, I was talking to Lincoln and cardio sounds really interesting too and I've still got plenty of time to settle on what I want… trauma has always been interesting." Clarke explains nervously. There's a tense minute of silence, with Lexa holding Clarke tighter to help comfort and reassure her, as Abby stares at her daughter for that minute while pursing her lips. 

 

"Arkadia does have one of the best programmes in the country." She relents. "You completed your first year of internship and passed your exam so just remind them of that and how you were given the break  _ legally  _ and therefore-" 

 

"Mom." Clarke interrupts. "My fiancée is a lawyer, I’m pretty sure Lexa can coach me on what to say." Lexa chuckles kissing Clarke on the cheek before walking out the front door to check on everything and leaving Clarke alone with her mother. Abby raises her eyebrows, now that they were alone, and a smirk finds its way to her face. 

 

"You two seem cosy." She comments and Clarke groans. "I'm just saying, it seems a lot has changed in the last few hours, did I miss something?" 

 

"We  _ mutually  _ agreed that we may have feelings for one another and that we should see where those feelings take us." Clarke answers not wanting to get into the details of everything -  _ what daughter ever likes talking to their mother about sex? _

 

"Mutually agreed huh?" Abby asks sarcastically. "Was that before or after you two had sex?" 

 

"Oh my god, mom, how do you even know about that?" Clarke asks feeling herself blush furiously. 

 

"I think you forget that Raven's always had a soft spot for me." Abby says grinning at Clarke's obvious embarrassment, Clarke was sure that Abby never got tired of embarrassing her, it was like a parent's job to embarrass their child and Abby was doing a standup job at doing just that. 

 

"I'm going to kill her." Clarke promises shaking her head. She notices Raven passing by her and the blonde narrows her eyes at her best friend who swallows nervously, avoids eye contact and hurries out of the house. Abby laughs and Clarke turns her attention back to her mom a new idea for revenge coming to her. 

 

"You know mom," Clarke says with a smirk - Raven was going to kill her for this but it would totally be worth it. "Raven used to have a crush on you." Clarke says and Abby's eyebrows shoot up in surprise - clearly she hadn't been expecting that. "All through junior and senior year she used to call you the ‘hot’ mom." Abby looks at Clarke with shock clear on her face as she processes the new information - it doesn’t take long for the shock to be replaced by a smug smile. 

 

"Well it's certainly nice to be noticed." Abby says and Clarke tries to refrain from cringing at the comment but a little discomfort for totally embarrassing Raven was worth it. 

 

"Who's noticing who?" Jake asks coming up beside Abby, and wrapping his arm around her shoulders, smiling brightly at Clarke. 

 

"Well Lexa and Clarke-" Clarke scowls at her mother, cutting off her sentence, and Jake chuckles, ruffling Clarke's hair and pulling her into a group hug. Clarke felt like a little kid all over again wrapped in both her father's and mother's embrace. They were acting like they were never going to see her again, which was ridiculous, because they would, and, even when Clarke finally did officially move in with Lexa, she would still visit her parents - they were her parents, no matter how much they annoyed her from time to time, she still loved them and she wasn't just going to forget about them but they were certainly acting like she would. 

 

She wraps her arms around them anyway, enjoying being enveloped in a hug by the two people who brought her into this world and had cared for her all her life and would for the rest of it, they had really been there for her after everything - especially after Finn. 

 

She pulls away before she can allow herself to get too emotional and she sees her dad beaming at her with his characteristic smile and her mother was even smiling slightly at her. "Enjoy your time in Arkadia." Jake says kissing Clarke on the forehead. "And I'll get whatever your mother was about to tell me about Lexa and yourself later." He says with a wink and Clarke rolls her eyes. Abby sees Clarke give her dad an apprehensive look and she realises that the blonde wanted to talk to Jake alone. She makes an excuse and exits the house to go find Raven. 

 

Jake raises an eyebrow seeing Clarke's weary gaze and she sighs. Clarke had always been closer to her dad, they were just so alike that he understood her better than anyone, she told him practically everything,  _ within reason _ of course,  he was still her dad, some things she'd rather not tell him about, but she loved him with all of her heart and she needed to tell him about Lexa, about how she really felt. "Dad," Clarke sighs. "I really like Lexa, like  _ really  _ really like her, and I just... I feel-" 

 

"You don't have to marry her." Jake interrupts and Clarke's mouth runs dry with her words dying on her tongue. "We set up this marriage because we were worried about you, about if you'd ever recover after... Finn," Jake takes a moment to watch his daughter's expression when he says Finn's name, he had carefully avoided bringing him up around Clarke when possible, but she remains expressionless, like the name hadn't affected her, which was real change from past times. "but now we know that isn't the case. You've got Lexa, you don't need to marry her." Jake finishes with a smile. Clarke bites the inside of her cheek for a moment in thought, in a way, her dad was right but they had planned all of this out and, honestly, Clarke didn't want to  _ not  _ marry Lexa. 

 

"I want to though, is that weird?" Clarke asks. "It's complicated, and really confusing, but I can't imagine being with anyone else,  _ marrying  _ anyone else,  _ but  _ Lexa. And I don't know what that means." Clarke says frowning at herself. "Is it possible to fall in love with someone in six months?" 

 

"You don't think Lexa feels the same way?" Jake asks and Clarke looks at him in confusion. "You love her." 

 

"What? No, dad, I've only known her for two months, that's insane." Clarke says shaking her head. Jake gives her a look and Clarke scowls at him. "I was asking that purely for… observation." Clarke defends herself but, it was no use, Jake knew his daughter’s feelings for Lexa were far more than just like - even if she didn’t just yet. Jake just laughs, shaking his head slightly, before resting his hand securely on Clarke's shoulder and giving her a serious look. 

 

"I think love can happen at any given moment Clarke, two months, one, or six, you never really know that you're in love until one day it just hits you, you wake up and you just think ‘I love this person’, there's just no way to know the precise moment you fall in love with someone, there's only the recognition of that feeling." He explains squeezing her shoulder. "You say it's impossible for you to be in love with Lexa after such a short time, but love doesn't play by the rules of time, but only with time will you know that you're in love." Her dad concludes and Clarke didn't understand what he meant at all - well she did but she also didn't. Her dad was being more deep and philosophical than usual with his meaning of love and how you know you're in love but Clarke got it. 

 

"Anyway, for what it's worth, I think Lexa feels the same way." He says. Clarke opens her mouth to reply when Lexa comes through the door laughing at something and Clarke feels her lips uplift in a smile at the sight of her. Jake watches his daughter's expression upon seeing her fiancée confirming what he thought to be true in the first place anyway. 

 

Lexa turns around, backing up to Clarke and hiding the blonde behind her as an angry Raven storms through the door as well. "I'm going to  _ kill  _ you blondie!" Raven yells and Lexa nudges Clarke further behind her back with a smirk on her face at the mechanic in front of her. It takes Clarke a moment to realise that, although this was all in good fun, Lexa was protecting her, she was actually putting herself between Clarke and the threat, which was insanely adorable and cute and she couldn't have asked for a better fiancée. 

 

"Oh come on Raven, my mom deserved to know you had a crush on her." Clarke says peering over Lexa's shoulder. "It's only fair, you told her about Lexa and I." Clarke retorts. 

 

"We'll be late Raven." Lexa points out. "How about we finish this later?" She suggests and Raven grumbles. 

 

"You know what, if your fiancée wasn't an insanely hot, smooth talker, slightly threatening, fucking smartass then you'd be dead right now Griffin." Raven says narrowing her eyes at the blonde. "This isn't over." She says before storming out of the house back towards her car Clarke assumes. Lexa turns around raising her eyebrows in a questioning way. 

 

"I'll tell you in the car." Clarke says. Lexa nods her head, pausing for a moment, her eyes trailing over Clarke for a second. 

 

"Are you okay?" She asks with her eyebrows knitting together and Clarke laughs softly at her concern. 

 

"You practically used yourself as a body shield from Raven for me, I think I'm okay." Clarke says sarcastically and Lexa shrugs. 

 

"Couldn't have her hurting you now could I?" Lexa asks and Clarke knows she's joking, because Raven would never have hurt her, but still, Lexa had thrown herself in front of Clarke to protect her and the thought that Lexa would protect her like that comforted Clarke and made her feel safe - no one has ever been that protective of her.

 

**//**

They arrive in Arkadia late in the afternoon. After Lexa had visited her mom to make sure she was okay, and settled back in her home, she and Clarke went back to her apartment to find Raven already inside. Clarke holds her hands up telling Lexa that she hadn't given Raven the keys - she had expected to find Raven waiting for them, not actually  _ inside  _ the apartment, sitting on the couch, beer in hand, as she flips through different channels. "How did you get into my apartment Raven?" Lexa asks frowning at the girl who was sitting on her sofa. 

 

"Um, I picked the lock, duh." Raven says like it was obvious. 

 

"Rave, we’ve talked about this." Clarke says shaking her head. "Breaking and entering into a lawyer's apartment isn't really smart." Clarke adds plopping down beside her best friend while Lexa fiddles with her answering machine. 

 

"Lexa loves me, plus," Raven sits up. "you and I both know that my lockpicking skills have come in handy before." Raven winks at the blonde who just shakes her head with an amused smile on her lips. "Remember that time you got locked out of your dorm in just a towel? Yeah, be thankful Raven Reyes can unpick a lock." 

 

"That was your fault! You were my roommate, moron, and you told me you had the keys, locked the door and then told me that you lost them." Clarke says with a frown at her best friend who just shrugs. 

 

"You should've brought clothes along to the shower." She responds. Clarke scowls at her but whatever she was about to say gets cut off by the answering machine playing. 

 

"Hey Lex, it’s Luna here, I'm back in town and I haven't heard from you in a really long time. I just want to check-" 

 

_ "Message deleted."  _

 

Clarke looks at Lexa, who looked as stoic as ever, but to Clarke, who knew what to look for, she could tell that she was less than pleased about that message, what with the quick clenching and unclenching of her fist and the tightening of her jaw, she looks at Raven who just shrugs confused too by why Lexa had deleted the message before it had finished. The machine beeps again signaling another message. "Lexa, I know you probably don't want to hear from me but,  _ please _ , understand-" 

 

_ "Message deleted."  _

 

Lexa mumbles something under her breath that Clarke can't decrypt from where she's sitting but she can tell that Lexa's both distraught, angry and irritated by this mysterious woman who had left her two messages on her answering machine. The machine beeps yet again. "Lexa, Indra here, I know you're busy with your engagement, which Echo has told me all about, but I have a proposition for you. Call me when you have the chance and we can discuss it further in person. I'll talk to you later, don't be a stranger." Lexa chuckles as the machine beeps off signalling that was the last of the messages. A small smile plays on Lexa's lips at the last message and Clarke remembers Lexa mentioning something about her friend Indra but she'd never heard about a Luna before so Clarke makes a mental note to talk to Lexa about it. 

 

The brunette picks up the phone and begins dialling, Clarke decides that she's being a little nosy, even for her standards, and turns to Raven to keep her distracted. "So you're not mad about me telling my mom about your old crush on on her anymore?" Clarke asks with a teasing nudge and Raven laughs. 

 

"Who said it was old?" Raven responds with a shit eating grin and Clarke's jaw drops open. "That's right Griff Griff, your mom is still the hot mom." Raven says and Clarke shakes her head in disbelief. 

 

"Take it back." Clarke orders and Raven's grin just widens. 

 

"No can do." She replies. "Hey, now that your mom realises that I'm interested maybe she'll divorce your dad so I can become your step mom." Raven teases and Clarke fake gags at the thought. 

 

"My mom loves my dad, no way she'd leave him for  _ you _ ." Clarke says and Raven gives her a fake hurt look. 

 

"Excuse you but I am a catch, you'd be very lucky to have me as your step mother." Raven retorts and Clarke can't believe what she's hearing. 

 

"Sounds like a nightmare." Clarke mutters and that just serves to encourage Raven more. 

 

"Oh, I don't know about that, marrying your mom sounds like a dream." Raven continues teasing. "Hey, maybe I can walk you down the aisle as your new dad." 

 

"Ew, Raven, seriously, shut up. You're just being creepy." Clarke complains and the brunette sticks her tongue out at her childishly.

 

"Make me." She taunts and Clarke takes that opportunity to pinch her friend. " _ Ow _ ! You bitch." They begin fighting like a couple of siblings, which, honestly, they practically were, kicking and rubbing knuckles over heads, pulling and pushing, it was all in good fun and both were laughing hysterically as they both tried to get the other to surrender. 

 

Somewhere along the way Lexa had hung up the phone and was just watching the extremely childish behaviour with a fond smile as they both practically wrestled one another. "Say ‘uncle you bit-  _ Ow _ !  _ Raven!  _ What the fuck!" Clarke yells as the brunette digs her fingers into the blonde's side. Raven was using her secret weapon: tickling. 

 

She begins ticking Clarke and the blonde falls back onto the sofa, laughing hysterically and spasming as her best friend frantically moved her fingers up and down Clarke’s side. Her breaths become fast and she turns a shade of red unable to breathe properly from the tickling. She was crying with laughter, swatting at Raven to stop but it was in vain: tickling rendered Clarke useless and Raven knew it. " _ Stop _ ! Raven, seriously, sto- I'm going to pee-  _ Raven _ !." Clarke says kicking her feet out a little. 

 

"Surrender!" Raven yells not ceasing for a moment. 

 

"Fine... fine... I surrender, please, stop." Clarke begs. Raven pulls her hands away, pulling herself off of Clarke and sitting back in the sofa with a grunt, she picks up her beer and continues drinking it as though they hadn't just been scrapping like a couple of teenagers on the sofa. Clarke was still curled up in a ball, unable to move after that tickling session, she was still giggling every now and again when she felt Raven's invisible touch - it was annoying and she really hoped it'd pass soon. Raven always did bring the child out in Clarke, she always seemed to do some childish shit when with her best friend, but it was one of the reasons she loved Raven. 

 

Lexa drifts over to Clarke and raises an eyebrow at her playfully. "Hey." Clarke says looking up at her and Lexa laughs gesturing for Clarke to sit up. The blonde does so but, as soon as Lexa sits down, Clarke's head is in her lap and the brunette is threading her fingers through her blonde curls. 

 

"My friend Indra is coming over soon by the way." Lexa says quietly after a moment and Clarke hums from her position enjoying feeling Lexa's hands run through her hair. 

 

"What's she like?" Raven asks since Clarke was clearly short circuiting from Lexa's gentle stroking. 

 

"She's...  _ Intense _ ." Lexa decides and Raven chuckles. 

 

"More intense than Anya?" Raven asks sarcastically. Lexa looks over at Raven and gives her a look. 

 

"You have no idea." Lexa says shaking her head a little. "She used to keep Anya in line all the time, she only listened to me because, apparently, I had cold hard logic which she respected." Lexa shrugs. 

 

"Does she know that you play hungry hippos?" Raven asks lightly and Lexa chuckles. 

 

"Who says hungry hippos doesn't require logical strategies?" Lexa asks and Raven scoffs. 

 

"Seriously Ray, who loses four times in a row to hungry hippos?" Clarke pipes up and Raven glares at the blonde who couldn't see her anyway since she had her eyes closed. 

 

"You weren't there Griffin." Raven protests. "Your fiancée seriously knows her way around that game." Raven mumbles grumpily and Lexa laughs joined by Clarke. There's a lull in the conversation and Clarke takes a deep breath, prepared to ask the question she wanted to ask for some time now. 

 

"Hey Lex," Clarke begins cautiously and the brunette gestures for her to continue. "who's Luna?" The brunette freezes Clarke feels her muscles tighten beneath her and her hand stops its movements through the blonde's curls. 

 

"No one important." Lexa replies after a tense moment. "Not anymore at least." Raven glances worriedly at Clarke, who now has her eyes open, looking up concernedly at Lexa who's mood now seemed to be soured by the mentioning of the mystery woman's name. Clarke catches Raven's eye and the brunette urges her to continue silently by nudging her head towards the brunette. 

 

"I'm going to go get another beer." Raven says as a feeble attempt to excuse herself from the room - especially since her current beer was half full. Clarke sits up and Lexa lets out a sigh already knowing that the subject wouldn't be dropped. 

 

"Lexa, you can tell me..." Clarke says softly and Lexa shakes her head. 

 

"I..." She lets out a sigh and seemingly deflates. "I don't want to talk about her okay?" Lexa says her green eyes pleasing. "I'll tell you sometime Clarke but, I'm not ready, not yet, not to talk about...  _ her _ ." Lexa sighs again, as though the subject brought her great anguish, and Clarke didn’t like to make her future spouse upset. 

 

"Okay," Clarke relents gently stroking Lexa's jaw with her finger to gain her attention back. "you don't have to talk about her if you don't want to but, she's not... she's just... she's not an ex right? Like a psycho ex that might want to skin me alive when she finds out that I'm engaged to you?" Clarke asks raising her eyebrows and Lexa laughs shaking her head. 

 

"No, she's definitely not an ex Clarke." Lexa says and, as though her answer was too vague, she adds. "She's just someone who I used to know, we were close but now we're not, and I don't want to relive that right now, not when I'm finally happy." Lexa says smiling at Clarke with her half lopsided one and Clarke can't help herself and leans in to capture those lips in a kiss. The conversation was far from over but Lexa was entitled to some secrets, at least, for now… the Luna topic would be revisited however.

 

**//**

Later that evening there's a knock at the apartment door and Lexa gestures for Raven to put her feet down and off of the coffee table. The mechanic begins to companion but a stern look from Lexa silences her immediately. Normally, Lexa didn't care about feet up on her coffee table, in fact, she often did it herself, but Indra was so strict she’d probably glare Raven into oblivion for putting her feet up on furniture. She picks up a coaster and drops Raven's beer on top of it in her passing, and straightens out her clothes before taking a breath and opening the door. "Lexa." The woman greets, pulling the brunette in for a stiff hug. Raven looks over at Clarke who just shrugs and stands up from her seat straightening out her own clothes. 

 

She walks up beside Lexa and the brunette gestures to her. "Indra, this is Clarke, Clarke, this is Indra." Lexa introduces them and the woman's eyes trail down Clarke's body. Clarke freezes immediately, the cold stare of Indra's dark brown eyes, and her even more stoic expression than Lexa's, unnerved Clarke right to the the core. The woman was downright intimidating, and terrifying, and now Clarke understood why Lexa had hesitated to call Indra intense because she was but she was more than  _ just  _ Intense. 

 

Her eyes drag back up and Clarke resists the urge to run and hide from the woman's hard gaze. "Hi," Clarke greets surprised when her voice comes off chirpy and unaffected from her nerves. "Clarke Griffin, pleasure to meet you." Clarke holds her hand out and Indra stares at it before raising her eyebrow at the blonde. Clarke retracts her hand quickly, wiping it down her pants and blushing from embarrassment. 

 

"Clarke's a doctor." Lexa interrupts and Clarke thanks the Lord for Lexa's interference because the woman was too much for her. 

 

"A real one or one of those people who call themselves doctors but they're not really?" She asks and Clarke laughs nervously only Indra shows no sign that she was joking. Lexa smiles reassuringly, her eyes saying ‘I did warn you’, and Clarke clears her throat. 

 

"Actually, I'm a real one, kind of, I completed my internship but I haven't gone any further yet due to unforeseen circumstances." Lexa grins at the fact that Clarke was using the words that she had coached to her in the car for when she went to the meeting she had with the chief of surgery at Arkadia tomorrow - the only thing was that Clarke knew the chief of surgery quite well. "I passed my test and I hope to join the residency program and begin as a resident very soon." Clarke finishes and she looks at Lexa who nods her head in approval. 

 

"So you're not a real doctor yet?" Indra asks sounding unimpressed. 

 

"Um, well, I," Clarke stumbles over her words before shaking her head. "No, I suppose I'm not just yet." 

 

"Hm." Indra grunts and Clarke feels mortified and she really wants to escape this situation. 

 

"Okay, how about, Clarke, you go talk to Raven while Indra and I talk in the kitchen?" Lexa suggests and Clarke couldn't accept the scapegoat faster than what she does. She hurries over to Raven and hides herself behind the mechanic while Lexa leads Indra to the kitchen. The woman looked very business like with her skirt, blazer and briefcase, suggesting that maybe she had just left her work. 

 

"I have a proposition for you and, before you immediately say no, I want you to listen okay?" Indra asks as soon as they enter the kitchen. She can tell that Indra was about to ask her something serious, not that Indra was ever  _ not  _ serious, but what she didn't know. Lexa reluctantly agrees, wondering what she had just got herself into, when the woman begins explaining. 

 

"So, you know I have my own law firm with different lawyers who specialise in different areas," Indra begins and Lexa nods in understanding because, yes, she did know that. "I know you said that you didn't want to be apart of a law firm and wanted to take things easy by just staying freelance, especially with what happened to you," Indra says a little awkwardly - she wasn't good with the feelings thing but Lexa knew she was talking about Costia. "but you are the best damn lawyer I've ever met, and I've met me, so I would like for us to be partners." Indra states and Lexa gapes at her for a moment. 

 

Indra was the head of Trikru Law Firm, the most successful law firm in Arkadia, if Lexa had  _ ever  _ envisioned working for  _ any  _ law firm it was that one. Truth be told, if Lexa had ever imagined opening her  _ own  _ law firm it would've been Trikru that she strived to be like. "Wait, you're asking me to your partner  _ partner _ ?" Lexa asks with a frown. "As in run the firm alongside you?" Lexa asks in surprise. 

 

"Yes." Indra responds easily. "You have exceptional lawyer skills Lexa, you graduated first in our class, you have authority, people listen to you, there's no other person who's more for running this firm with me than you. You can bring in more cases, earn more money, which I know you're not in it for that but, soon you'll be married, and it'll be nice to have a little more cash, you can bring your old clients along, Echo told me how you won her case, you'd be a great asset, I'm not just recruiting you to be some corporate lawyer, you'll be the big guy, and you'll do everything your way, I guarantee." Lexa gapes at the woman even more. This was a huge opportunity Lexa could’ve only dreamed about plus Indra was a friend, someone she could trust and rely on, everything that she's ever really wanted was being handed to her on a silver platter. She could really make the impact that she wanted to working for a firm, especially so high up, she would get more important cases and send real criminals away and get real justice for people who deserved it - the offer was really tempting and Lexa was a little overwhelmed by it all. 

 

"I can give you some time." Indra says sensing Lexa's overstimulated brain. "It's a big ask, and I know you've avoided joining a firm for your different reasons, I just think you'd really benefit from this Lexa, you could  _ really  _ make a difference." She says. 

 

"Uh," Lexa clears her throat, shaking her head slightly to help defog her brain a little. "yeah, maybe give me a couple of days or something? I'm interested, for sure, but I should talk to Clarke, think about it,  _ really  _ think about it, you know?" Lexa reasons and Indra nods in understanding. 

 

"Of course." She replies. "Maybe stop by  tomorrow, have a look around, I can introduce you to the different people there and show you what could be your office?" She asks tempting Lexa further - an office of her own would certainly beat the shabby desk she has stuffed in the corner of the living room. She can just imagine how big spacious and luxurious that office is. 

 

" Tomorrow ? Yeah, I can do that, but Clarke has a thing at the hospital and I'd really like to be there to support her." Lexa replies. Indra looks at her for a moment, pursing her lips, and Lexa feels slightly unnerved by the woman. Despite Lexa always being respected by Indra, the woman was still really frightening to her. 

 

"No problem, you should be there for your fiancée." Indra says after a moment. "I look forward to seeing you  tomorrow but I should go, big case I'm working on.” She explains. 

 

"Right." Lexa says just as Clarke enters the kitchen. The blonde stops in her tracks, avoiding Indra like the plague she quickly animates and stands beside Lexa who smiles slyly at the how nervous Indra made Clarke, it was cute, and she also liked the fact that Clarke got close to her for protection from it. 

 

"I'll talk to you  tomorrow Lexa." Indra says picking her briefcase up from the dining table that was sat in the kitchen. She looks over at Clarke who resists the urge to shy away from her gaze. "Clarke." She states before turning on her heel. Lexa goes to follow her out but Indra just looks over her shoulder and says "I know my way out Lexa, no need to walk me out." Lexa stops and watches as her friend leaves her apartment. 

 

She turns to Clarke and lets out an exaggerated sigh and the blonde chuckles. "She's intense huh?" Clarke teases and Lexa lets out a breathy laugh. 

 

"Yeah." She agrees. "She offered me a job working at her firm... Trikru Legal Firm." Lexa says and Clarke's eyes widen - like Lexa said, it was an extremely successful firm that everyone knew about. 

 

"What are you-? Do you not want it?" Clarke asks realising that Indra had left and, although Indra didn't seem like the type to give off emotions, normally Clarke can get a read off of Lexa about things like this. 

 

"I didn't give her an answer." Lexa replies. "I said I should talk to you and I should think about it." She explains and Clarke's surprised that she played into Lexa's hesitation at all. "I just avoided joining a firm for... reasons but this is everything I've ever really wasted plus, she's not just offering me a job, she wants me to co-own the company." Lexa explains and Clarke nods listening to her fiancée. "I didn't think I wanted it, didn't think I  _ needed  _ it, but it would bring in cases that mattered, and I'm not just talking about the money that comes along with it, I’d do it for free if I could, I just mean that the cases would be important, you know, I could be putting people who are murderers behind bars and that's so satisfying, real justice." There's a sparkle in Lexa's eye as she talks about her job and Clarke realises how much this actually means to Lexa, being a lawyer, that was. 

 

"She invited me to come down  tomorrow and take a look, I told her that you had a thing and that I'd come down after because I wanted to support you." Lexa says and Clarke's truly astounded by Lexa's dedication to her, the brunette was concerned about her feelings about her career, even when she really didn't have to be, and she was wanting to support Clarke when she could just leave Clarke at her interview, or whatever it was going to be, but, no, Lexa was there for her and that made Clarke feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 

 

"Well, I say, do whatever makes you happy." Clarke says reaching her arms out and Lexa steps into them, sighing when she feels Clarke nuzzle into her chest, in a warm embrace. "You said you'd support me whether I did art or medicine, or both, well I'll support you if you want to be a freelance lawyer or a law firm lawyer... or, hey, if you realise you want to be a farmer I'll still support you." Clarke says squeezing Lexa reassuringly. 

 

"I would look pretty good in overalls." Lexa jokes and Clarke laughs. "Indra likes you." Lexa states and Clarke pulls back and raises an eyebrow in disbelief.  "No, serious, she does, I can tell. I know she's intense, and she comes off a little standoffish and cold, but she likes you. She acknowledged you as she left, that's really something." Lexa says and Clarke snorts. 

 

"Right, sure." Clarke says in disbelief. "Well how about we laze around for a while then send Raven for food later?" Clarke suggests tucking her hands into Lexa's back pockets and she's not ashamed to say that maybe she was feeling her fiancée up a little. 

 

"Sounds perfect." Lexa responds with a smile. A nice peaceful evening was just what she needed.

 

**//**

 

Lexa was in the living room, apparently, picking out a movie while Clarke borrowed some of the brunette's clothes to sleep in. She just couldn't resist, she loved wearing Lexa's clothes, sleepwear and all, and she couldn't resist stealing something - plus the clothes smelt of Lexa which was always welcomed by Clarke. Something hadn't been sitting right with Clarke all day since she'd talked to Lexa about her feelings. She felt like she hadn't said enough, like her words hadn't been what she'd wanted to say, but then she wasn't sure what she had really wanted to say. 

 

Clarke slips on the clothes and heads towards the bedroom exit but pauses just in the doorframe to observe Lexa. She leans against the doorway of Lexa's bedroom, watching as the brunette sifts through movies in sweats and a t-shirt while Clarke was wearing an oversized shirt, that belonged to Lexa, and a pair of shorts. She watches as Lexa sets aside a box and she's amazed at how she could make such a simple action look so hot. 

 

Lexa's beautiful,  _ obviously _ , she's hot,  _ clearly _ , but that's not what Clarke likes about her, it's not why she's attracted to her, she likes Lexa for her gentle, soft, personality that she reserves only for her close friends, she likes the way that she always looks out for her friends and family, she likes her smile, she likes her forest green eyes, she loves the way she has different tones to her voice, the commanding one, the soft one, the quiet one, she loves that Lexa always knows what to do, she loves when she acts like a dork and a nerd, she... she...  _ loves  _ Lexa. 

 

Clarke takes a sharp breath in when this realisation hits her, she feels her heart tighten and her eyes widen. She knew she felt strongly about Lexa but she just didn't realise how strong. Her dad was right, he was right, and now Clarke was freaking out. She couldn't tell Lexa, _could she?_ _No_ , Lexa wasn't ready for that, _Clarke_ wasn't ready for that. She hadn't felt this way about anyone in a really really long time. She didn't know what to do, she needed to do something, she can't just- 

 

"Hey." A voice, soft, calm and gentle all at the same time, says and Clarke looks up to see Lexa staring at her with concern. She'd moved to the couch and Clarke hadn't even realised in her internal breakdown. "Are you okay?" Lexa asks. Clarke blinks at her once, twice, three times, before letting out a long sigh. The mere presence of Lexa was calming and Clarke felt herself being anchored where she stood by Lexa's eyes and her scent - God, Clarke loved that smell. 

 

She pushes off the doorframe and steps forward to press her lips against Lexa's. The brunette is obviously startled at first but she's quick to kiss back pulling Clarke closer to her - or as close as she could with the couch between them. When Clarke pulls away Lexa rises her eyebrows in question and Clarke simply just shakes her head with a small smile playing on her lips. "Raven's gone for pizza." Clarke says and Lexa laughs leaning her forehead against Clarke's. 

 

"If this is what I get everytime Raven goes for pizza then I vote we always send her." Lexa says playfully, pecking Clarke on the cheek. Clarke wraps her arms around Lexa's neck and buries her face there, taking a deep breath of Lexa. "What's wrong? Seriously." Lexa asks, her hands moving to the small of Clarke's back as she held the blonde. "I know you Clarke, something's bothering you." 

 

"Nothing's bothering me." Clarke responds which was true, nothing was bothering her, other than the impending doom of how deep her feelings were but it wasn't  _ bothering  _ her. "I just want to snuggle with you." Clarke sighs and Lexa pauses for a moment before pulling back from the hug and lying down on the couch, patting it for Clarke to come join her. 

 

Lexa shuffles so her back is against the back of the couch, lying on her side, while Clarke lies down in front of her, on her side, facing Lexa. The brunette rests one of her hands on Clarke's hip and smiles softly at her. She runs her hand up Clarke's side, her hand slipping beneath the fabric, and Clarke feels goosebumps rise where she feels Lexa's skin touching her own. She knows there's nothing sensual about the touch, Lexa was simply trying to comfort her with it, but Clarke feels a tug in her stomach and just knows that she has to get closer. 

 

She shuffles forward, curling into Lexa easily, she feels the brunette's hand shift from her side to her back, running her finger up and down Clarke's spine in a soothing pattern. Lexa doesn't attempt to ask Clarke what's wrong again, she simply enjoys the fact that the blonde seemed to like and take comfort in her presence. Clarke, on the other hand, melts into Lexa's warmth, the brunette was always warm, and she closes her eyes feeling sleepy from the lazy patterns being drawn into her skin and the heat radiating from Lexa. 

 

Lexa leans down and plants a chaste kiss to Clarke's neck, near her jaw, and Clarke smirks, leaning back slightly, she brings her hands up to pull Lexa down onto her, a surprised grunt escaping the brunette as she does so, and she pulls her down until their lips meet. Clarke's not in the mood for slow and gentle and she wants to see how far she can push Lexa on this no sex thing. 

 

The kiss is deepened almost immediately with Clarke in control, she explores Lexa's mouth with her tongue, very carefully, and Lexa lets her, her eyes closed and her hands wondering under the fabric of Clarke's shirt. She pulls Lexa further forward, forcing the brunette to roll onto her. "Clarke." Lexa warns, pulling away from the kiss, her chest rises and falls rapidly and her eyes were dilated. 

 

"What?" Clarke asks innocently leaning up to capture Lexa's lips again but the brunette evades her. "Oh come on Lex, it's just making out." Clarke says leaning back up but Lexa pushes her down her eyes darkening considerably. 

 

"Really?" Lexa asks sarcastically. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were trying to get into my pants." Lexa says raising her eyebrows. 

 

"Raven's still gone." Clarke wiggles her eyebrows and Lexa shakes her head with a smirk on her lips. 

 

"I thought we agreed no sex?" Lexa questions and Clarke feels Lexa’s hands wrap around her wrists, lifting her arms above her head, and her heart pounds in its ribcage in excitement at the action. 

 

"Doesn't mean we can't do...  _ Stuff _ ." Clarke says in her low, husky, seductive, tone. Lexa grinds once and Clarke feels her eyes roll back in her head, she hadn't even realised that Lexa had positioned her leg between her thighs until she'd started moving, plus, having her holding her arms above her head was insanely hot. "Oh go-  _ Lex _ ." Clarke groans as the brunette continues her grinding, moving her lips to the blonde's neck and sucking on her pulse point there, her teeth graze over sensitive skin which causes Clarke to moan. Clarke's hips begin moving of their own violation, and they're both practically dry humping each other on Lexa's couch which is a little embarrassing considering they were grown ups and not a pair of horney teenagers. 

 

"Hey guy-  _ Ah _ !  _ My eyes _ !" Raven enters the apartment at that exact moment, she shields her eyes with her empty hand while balancing two boxes of pizza in her other hand. "Not on the couch!" She scolds still blocking her vision. Lexa halts her movements and let's out a small irritated sigh into Clarke's ear. 

 

"I'm getting her a bell." Lexa mutters, pecking Clarke on the forehead, before standing up from her position on top of Clarke. The blonde laughs and sits up pulling her shirt down that had rode up from Lexa's wandering hands. 

 

"You can look now Raven." Lexa says as she passes by her to go into the kitchen. Raven grumbles, uncovering her eyes, slowly peeking to make sure they had in fact stopped, before she places the two boxes of pizza down on the coffee table, flipping the lids of them open. Clarke's hit with the mouthwatering scent of pizza and she eagerly reaches forward for a slice when her hand is slapped away. 

 

" _ Ow _ !" Clarke yells dramatically, rubbing her hand and scowling at Raven. 

 

"No pizza until you wash your hands, I have no idea where they've been and I'd rather not have a topping of Lexa on my pizza." Raven says and Clarke blushes furiously at the insinuation. "Same with you green eyes! Wash those damn hands, as much as I love Clarke, I really don't feel like eating her off of my pizza!" Clarke hears a clash from the kitchen and she imagines that Lexa just dropped something from Raven's comment. 

 

" _ Raven _ !" Clarke says with a disapproving look and a scolding tone. Raven rolls her eyes, and shoves a slice of pizza in her mouth, sitting down beside her blonde best friend. "We weren't doing what you think we were doing." Clarke mutters sitting back on the sofa. Raven raises an eyebrow and gives Clarke a look of disbelief. "We kind of agreed to no sex." Clarke confesses. Raven almost chokes on her pizza at that revelation, she sits up and stares at Clarke in shock. 

 

"Oh my God, are you okay?" She asks sarcastically. "Come here and let me feel your head." Clarke shoves Raven away from her, the mechanic landing on her back on the sofa with a loud laugh. 

 

" _ Ass _ ." Clarke says turning her head away from Raven and crossing her arms across her chest. 

 

"Oh come on Clarkey, you know I didn't mean it." Raven says. The brunette reaches over, picks up a slice of pizza and holds it out to Clarke. "Peace offering?" She says. Clarke stares at the slice of pizza for a moment, her stubbornness getting the best of her, but Raven knew her and she knew that Clarke would crack - she'd do anything for food really. 

 

She takes the pizza grudgingly and Raven nudges her to carry on explaining. That was the thing with Raven and Clarke, Raven just got Clarke, sure, she was a pain in the ass from time to time, a sarcastic little troublemaker, and she occasionally liked to make things go boom, but Clarke would never ask her best friend to change because Raven was the best friend that she could ever ask for. "Lexa wants to wait till the wedding, she said it would make it more special." 

 

"And you don't?" Raven asks shoving her pizza in her mouth. Clarke refrains from correcting her best friend's manners and thinks about the question for a moment. 

 

"No, I do." Clarke says nodding her head. "But then I have to wait  _ four  _ months and,  _ Raven _ , I swear, waiting that long might just kill me." Raven laughs at her friend's words. "I'm serious, before it wasn't a problem, before I didn't know what I was missing, and now, well, now I do know what I'm missing and, Raven, I don't want to miss it." 

 

"Suck it up Griff Griff." Raven says patting her on the back. "I agree with Lexa on this I'm afraid, just imagine the sex after holding off for  _ four  _ months..." Raven holds her hands up, a sparkle in her eyes. " _ Fireworks _ ." She pops her mouth and opens her hands and Clarke shakes her head with an amused smile forming on her lips at Raven's actions - she was so childish sometimes. 

 

"Only problem is, I don't think I can wait that long." Clarke says and Raven rolls her eyes. 

 

"Get some self control Griffin." She replies picking up a slice of pizza. Clarke pauses for a moment, the weight of her next statement weighing her down slightly, she bites her lip in worry. 

 

"Raven," Clarke says slowly and the brunette pays full attention to her, sensing the seriousness in Clarke's tone, in the way it lowers considerably. "I think I'm in love with her." Raven almost drops her pizza at that confession, her eyes widening considerably, before she steels her expression into a serious one. It was obvious that this conclusion was giving Clarke great anguish and Raven knew that jokes couldn't be made about a topic like this. 

 

"That's good, considering she's your fiancée." Okay, maybe Raven could joke about it a little. The light comment helps break some of the tension in the room but Raven knows Clarke's waiting for an actual response. "How long?" 

 

"I don't know, I only just figured this out, I'm freaking out Raven, I haven't... you know." Clarke narrows her eyes and gives Raven a look and she does know, she knows that Clarke hasn't been in love since freshmen year college which was around the time that she started to fall out of love with Finn, she knows that Clarke's never known anything  _ but  _ love for Finn, at least, in the capacity that they were talking about, so it made sense that Clarke was freaking out. 

 

"Lexa isn't Finn." Raven says quietly. "I've seen you two together and you're both like, well, you're both like the other halves of each other." Raven shrugs. "I know you're afraid of falling out of love more than you are of falling into it but Lexa  _ isn't  _ Finn Clarke, if you love her you should tell her." Like Clarke said: Raven just got her. 

 

She was right, of course, Clarke wasn't worried about falling in love as much as she was of falling out of it because that whole process had been messy. She was also scared of losing Lexa - their conversation in the kitchen, when Lexa had been drunk, flashes to the front of Clarke's mind. "I think she's still in love with Costia." Clarke says and Raven gives her a look. "She's just so deeply wounded by it, damaged, I don't know if she'll ever get over her." 

 

"Clarke, have you seen the way Lexa looks at you?" Raven raises her eyebrows in disbelief. "That girl is head over heels in love with you, she just needs a little time to figure it out." Raven explains laying a hand gently on Clarke's arm. The blonde smiles at the mechanic when Lexa enters the living room again carrying three bottles of beer in her hands. 

 

Raven jumps back from Clarke slightly, trying to hide her obvious comforting, but Lexa doesn't miss the heavy atmosphere of the room - she's a lawyer, she's good at reading things like that. "Did I interrupt something?" Lexa asks a little awkwardly and that's another thing that Clarke loved: the way that Lexa was this all powerful, commanding, cool headed lawyer one second and the next she was a shy, awkward, dork. It was incredibly endearing and Clarke was certain it was one of her favourite things about the brunette. 

 

"No." Raven answers. "Beer me Woods." She says stretching her hand out and making a grabbing gesture. Lexa hands her a bottle and the mechanic takes it, she then hands another to Clarke and the blonde takes it with a timid smile. She settles beside Clarke and leans back into the sofa, grabbing a slice of pizza from the coffee table, before hitting play on the remote. "So what did ya pick?" Raven asks curiously. 

 

"Interstellar." Lexa answers and Raven nods her head with an appreciative nod. 

 

"Good choice, I love space movies." Raven says. 

 

"I second that." Lexa says and Clarke looks at her in surprise. The girl just smiles and winks at her and that was yet another thing that Clarke didn't know: Lexa was a space geek. Clarke was pretty sure she was just falling in love with this woman even more by the second. 

 

"I'm just wishing for my letter from NASA." Raven says and Clarke scoffs. 

 

"Please Raven," Clarke says. "why would NASA ever want you?" She teases and Raven gives her a mock hurt look. 

 

"Err, hello, genius mechanic over here." She states tapping her head for good measure. 

 

"The only thing you like to do is blow things up." Clarke replies rolling her eyes. 

 

"Exactly," Raven says with a shrug. "that's why NASA would want me." Lexa laughs and Clarke finds herself smiling at the noise laughing along at Raven's comment. They settle down, silently eating and drinking while watching a movie, and Clarke slowly leans into Lexa's side, sinking further into her, until Lexa lifts her arm and wraps it around Clarke's shoulders allowing the blonde to smuggle right up beside her fiancée on the sofa, it's no surprise when Clarke feels herself drifting off.

 

**//**

Once the film is over, Lexa realises that Clarke had fallen asleep snuggled into her. She smiles, gently shifting out from under her and standing up, stretching slightly. Raven follows suit, helping Lexa collect the beer bottles and the boxes of pizza. It was dark in the apartment, the only light coming from the TV that was playing the credits, so the lighting was feeble until they reach the kitchen and Lexa turns the kitchen light on sure that it wouldn't stir Clarke from her slumber. 

 

Lexa begins throwing things in the trash, Raven opting for leaning against the kitchen island watching the brunette. "Alright, I guess now is a good enough time as any to give you the speech." Raven says breaking the silence. Lexa shoves the last box into the trash, standing upright to face Raven properly. 

 

" _ The speech _ ?" She asks confused by the girl's words. 

 

"You know, the best friend speech." Raven says and Lexa just chuckles earning her a glare from Raven and the brunette holds her hands up in mock surrender. "Listen closely because I'm only going to say this once." Raven says pointing at Lexa. "That girl in that room is so fucking important to me, she's been through hell and she's  _ so so  _ strong, and I look up to her like she's a goddamn Goddess because Clarke Griffin is so kind and giving, and sweet, and she doesn't have to be because she's been dealt a shitty hand and she could’ve been a real shitty person but she's not. She's the best person I know." Lexa swallows nervously seeing how serious Raven was. "I love her and if you hurt her I will  _ personally  _ kick your ass because that blonde ball of goodness only deserves the world and nothing less." Raven says tapping Lexa's chest with her pointing finger. 

 

"I won't hurt her." Lexa says quietly, cocking her head to the side as Raven stared her down. 

 

"Good," The brunette sighs stepping back from the tall brunette. "because, honestly, I don't think I would be able to kick your ass." 

 

"If I hurt Clarke I think I would let you kick my ass." Lexa says shaking her head slightly and Raven let's out a breathy laugh. Raven observes her for a moment, watching as Lexa stewed in thoughts that she could only try to fathom. "I don't want to hurt her." Lexa states after a moment. 

 

"I know," Raven says and Lexa looks up at her. "I know you don't but, sometimes, the people who we don't want to hurt are the people who we hurt the most even if we don't mean to." Lexa turns her head to the side, her brow creasing as she frowns in confusion. 

 

"What do you mean?" Lexa asks and Raven sighs. She couldn't exactly tell Lexa about Clarke's feelings, that wasn't her place to do so, but she couldn't say nothing either. 

 

"You two are going to fight, that's just what couples do," Raven shrugs. "Clarke's been through a lot, just don't hurt her too much, yeah?" Raven asks and Lexa nods her head. 

 

"I get it Raven, I get  _ her _ ," Lexa frowns. "I just- I  _ get  _ her." Lexa concludes not able to describe it and Raven nods her head grinning at her. Lexa shakes off her weird feeling and lets out a sigh, heading back into the living room after switching off the kitchen light. The TV was giving off more light now, lighting Clarke's sleeping form, that was curled up on the sofa, in a pale white. 

 

Lexa smiles softly at the sight and stands in front of the girl, Raven joining her, looking down at the blonde. Clarke was so peaceful in her sleep, with her blonde curls everywhere, her mouth slightly open and her chest rising and falling steadily - she looked so unburdened in her sleep and Lexa wished she could capture this moment. "She looks so peaceful." Lexa whispers quietly. "I don't want to wake her." Lexa adds and Raven shrugs her shoulders. 

 

"So leave her." She responds and Lexa looks at her and something tells Raven that leaving Clarke was not an option. 

 

"I can't just leave her." Lexa says with a frown. 

 

"Well I'm off to bed so I'll see you in the morning Woods." Raven says walking towards the second bedroom and closing the door. Lexa rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to the sleeping Clarke on her couch. She thinks for a moment before deciding that she'd just carry her to bed. 

 

She hooks her arms underneath Clarke, one supporting her back, and the other under her legs, she lifts the blonde, who was quite light, up to her chest and walks towards her bedroom careful to avoid tripping over her feet because that could be terribly embarrassing. She steps into the bedroom and somehow manages to pull the covers back, Clarke still in her arms, and place her into the bed. She pulls the covers back over her and kisses her softly on the head. Clarke stirs in her sleep and turns over, burying her head in the pillow there, before letting out a sleepy sigh of " _ Lexa _ ." Lexa chuckles and waits a beat, to make sure the blonde was sleeping, before walking back out to the living room. 

 

She turns off the TV and makes her way back to the bedroom, pulling off her sweats and grabbing a pair of boxer shorts to sleep in. It was so dark that Lexa didn't even notice that Clarke was awake so when she spoke it startled the brunette and she stubs her toe in the process. "Son of a-" Lexa curses. " _ Ow _ ." She mumbles, dramatically limping over to the bed and sitting down on it. 

 

"Sorry." Clarke says still a little sleepy. "Didn't mean to scare you." She sounds extremely amused which only annoys Lexa. 

 

"Why are you even awake?" Lexa asks rubbing her toe. "I carried you to bed so I wouldn't have to wake you." Lexa adds and Clarke giggles causing the brunette to huff and turn to look at her. 

 

"I haven't been carried to bed since I was like six years old." Clarke explains. Lexa reaches over and switches on the lamp so she can see the blonde better. "Also, stop being so dramatic, you literally stubbed your toe, I don't think we'll have to amputate it." Clarke says and Lexa gives her a disapproving look before reluctantly climbing into bed and forgetting about her toe. 

 

She turns to face Clarke, lying on her side, head on the pillow, while Clarke mirrors her position. There's a moment of silence as they look at each other and Clarke yearns to fill that silence - not wanting her thoughts to go to  _ that  _ place again. "I have a question." Clarke says with a little hesitation and Lexa looks at her curiously, silently gesturing for her to continue. "Do you think you can choose who your family are?" Clarke asks and Lexa looks at her with confusion and Clarke feels compelled to explain. "I just mean, you have your blood family, you know, and then I think about Raven and O, even Bell, and I just think of them as my family, you know? I know they say you don't get to pick who your family are, but you do get to pick your friends, but what happens when your friends are your family?" Clarke asks. Lexa takes a deep breath at the question and a small smile spreads across her face. 

 

"You get philosophical when you're sleepy huh?" Lexa teases. Clarke shoves her on the shoulder playfully and the brunette laughs. 

 

"Shut up jerk." Clarke retorts. Lexa takes a moment to think about Clarke's question before trying to explain her thoughts. 

 

"The only family I've known is my mom and my Uncle Gus and I love them very much, and I know I’d do anything for my mom, but then there's Anya and Lincoln and I just know that I’d die for them too." Lexa says. "Anya and Lincoln are my family, they've been there for me since I can remember, and isn't that what family really is? Loving each other and standing by each other no matter what? Even if you're wrong you know that they'll be there to back you up because they're family. So yeah, I think you can choose your family, maybe not the one you're born with but the one you create through different bonds." Lexa says and Clarke smiles at her explanation. 

 

"I feel like you're my family in a way." Lexa says, frowning slightly at her own words. "Not in the traditional sense, I mean, we're engaged, but I mean in the sense that I'd do anything for you Clarke, without hesitation, I'd pick you first." Lexa explains. "If I had to choose between you and someone else who was in danger, I’d pick you, if I had to choose between you and someone else who needed me, I'd choose you, and I'll always choose you, because I l-" Lexa pauses suddenly, her face screwing up in confusion, as though she had forgotten what she was going to say, and Clarke's chest inflates with hope at the brunette's words but Lexa shakes it off quickly. "I care about you and you're, well, you're you." Lexa concludes and Clarke feels that hope deflate and leave an emptiness in her chest. 

 

"I'm me." Clarke mutters raising her eyebrows with a slight tinge of disappointment to her voice. Lexa frowns at Clarke's dejected tone and leans forward kissing her gently on the forehead. 

 

"Yes Clarke, you're you, and I mean that in the most amazing way possible because there is no one like you in the whole world, you're one of a kind, and I would never change you." Lexa says running her hand down Clarke's jaw in a soft caress. 

 

"You're one smooth motherfucker, you know that?" Clarke asks drawing a laugh from the brunette. She pecks her on the lips before pulling back to look Clarke in the eyes. 

 

"Goodnight Clarke." Lexa says turning around and switching off the lamp plunging them into darkness. Clarke sighs, shuffling so she was spooning Lexa and so she could smell her scent. 

 

"Goodnight Lexa." Clarke whispers back nuzzling into Lexa. Clarke already knew that she was in deep but she just hoped that Lexa would one day love her like she loved her because the whole one sided love thing was painful.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Lexa is like 'What is a feeling?' I hope you enjoyed this chapter, comments and kudos are all welcome! Let me know your thoughts and I'll see you with a new chapter asap hopefully :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "She's not my territory." Clarke mutters staring down at her pizza. 
> 
> "You were ready to pee on her like a dog when I even so much as mentioned how she would make an amazing wife even though I was clearly joking." Raven points out and Clarke rolls her eyes again. 
> 
> "I was not." She protests but it's feeble and both girls know it.
> 
> Or Lexa and Clarke are super into each other (though Lexa doesn't realise how into Clarke she really is), we also meet old friends and a figure from Lexa's past rocks up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I'm here with a new chapter for y'all :D I would like to say a special thank you to @LexasJawline your comments on the last two chapters made my day so thank you very much. Anywho, I hope you enjoy this chapter and I'll see you at the end with more notes probably ;)

Lexa is first to wake this time instead of Clarke. She twists around in the blonde's arms and brings her finger up to trace Clarke's features. She drifts from her hairline, with the back of her index finger, trailing down the side of her face and moving in an arch motion to the small beauty mark just above Clarke's lips. Lexa smiles when Clarke stirs but doesn't wake, her hot sleeping breaths prickle at the skin of Lexa's hand from her closeness. Her hand splays over Clarke's cheek before she runs her thumb gently over Clarke's lips, memorising the softness and shape of them, and she moves down to the small dimple in Clarke's chin, a smile gracing Lexa's lips as her thumb makes its home there. 

 

Lexa silently watches Clarke sleep, overwhelmed by Clarke's beauty and just how peaceful she looked. "Good morning to you too." Clarke mumbles, eyes still closed, as Lexa retracts her hand and moves it to Clarke's jaw. 

 

"Sorry," Lexa says softly. "I didn't mean to wake you." She says quietly. A small smile plays on Clarke's lips but she doesn't reply. She brings her arm up and drapes it over Lexa's waist, pulling her closer, and Lexa smiles at the action. "We should get up." Lexa points out and Clarke just grunts in disapproval. "We have a long day ahead." She adds and Clarke just shakes her head, nuzzling closer to Lexa in an attempt to to show Lexa how much she  _ didn't  _ want to do that. 

 

Lexa stays quiet for a moment, playing with a strand of Clarke's blonde hair, before an idea comes to mind. "How about I bring you something to eat in here?" Lexa suggests. "That way you don't have to leave bed." 

 

"But then  _ you  _ have to leave." Clarke complains her arms tightening around Lexa's waist. Lexa chuckles, kissing Clarke gently on the forehead, before slipping out from her arms. Clarke yet again grunts with disapproval and she misses Lexa's warmth the second that she's gone. 

 

"I'll be right back." Lexa says heading towards the bedroom door. She slips out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her and  leaves Clarke all by herself. 

 

Now that Lexa was gone, nothing was keeping Clarke in her sleepy state. She had wanted to cuddle Lexa more, and maybe to sleep the whole day undisturbed, but Lexa was right: they did have a big day ahead. 

 

Clarke sits up, stretching out her bones with a satisfying click and yawn, when something catches her eye. Just peeking out from under the bed is a box of some sort. She knows that she should probably just push it back under and forget she ever saw it but Clarke's curiosity gets the best of her and she feels compelled to pull the box out and place it in front of her, between her legs and on the bed. Written across the front are the words ‘ **The Shoebox** ’ in bold black and underneath was ‘ **Do Not Open Until Ready** ’ in the same handwriting. 

 

Clarke was confused, she considers opening the box but takes a pause. The box clearly says ‘open when ready’, whatever that meant, Clarke wasn't sure, plus this could potentially be a big invasion of privacy. Clarke stares at the box for a long moment, having an internal debate about if she should open it or not. She knew the writing wasn't Lexa's, she wrote much nicer and prettier, she also knew it wasn't Lincoln's, so that only really left Anya - who Clarke could totally see writing this on a box. 

 

Clarke sighs, her fingers settling on either side of the box. "Fuck it." Clarke mutters before lifting the lid and setting it aside. Clarke turns back to the box and freezes - she wasn't sure what she had expected to be in there but she hadn't expected what she was seeing. 

 

There were hundreds -  _ maybe not hundreds _ \- of photos of Lexa and another girl who Clarke could only assume was Costia. Clarke had always wondered where Lexa kept her photos, or if she even had any at all, but she hadn't expected to find them tucked under her bed in a shoebox labeled ‘do not open until ready’. The box was dusty on top, suggesting that Lexa hadn't opened the box, even once, meaning she clearly wasn't ready. 

 

Clarke glances at the door, which was useless because it was closed, so even if Lexa was coming back she wouldn't know, she turns back to the box and decides just a quick peek wouldn't hurt. She sifts through the numerous photographs: in some Costia's hair is straight and blonde, in others she has dark brunette hair, that’s just slightly darker than Lexa's, and Clarke wonders what her natural hair colour actually is, she has brown eyes and a kind, perfect smile with beautiful skin - she looks happy, carefree and just plain beautiful. 

 

It stung a little, seeing Lexa with someone else and quite clearly so happy, Lexa was a little younger in the pictures, some when she was obviously in her very early twenties, she looks so much younger even if it is just six or five years difference. Now Lexa's slim, with hard muscle, her jaw bone is sharp and her green eyes bore signs that she's been through some bad times. She looks similar in the photos, of course, but she almost seems not as...  _ worn  _ down as she does now at the age of twenty seven. Some of the pictures don't even have Lexa in them and are pictures of just Costia obviously taken by Lexa herself. 

 

Clarke sifts through them, the oldest, that Clarke can tell, that Lexa is in one of the photos is probably around twenty four, or nearly twenty four, after that they stop. No more Costia. It's sad when you think about it, this person, who Lexa obviously cared about very deeply, just ceased to exist, no more photographs or memories. A polaroid catches Clarke's eye and she picks it up to examine it more closely. 

 

It was a picture of Lincoln, Costia, Anya and Lexa. It was clearly Lexa's birthday, as she has a party hat strapped to her head, which Clarke is certain she probably objected to, Lexa is on the end next to Costia, who has her arms wrapped around both Anya and Lexa's necks, Anya seems to be laughing hysterically at something and, judging from the angle she's stood, it’s something Costia had said, she's smiling and Lexa clearly finds the whole thing amusing since she's doing her classic eye roll but with a bright smile on her face anyway. Lincoln is next to Anya, laughing as well, pointing at Lexa, clearly amused and, whoever took the polaroid, really took it at an amazing moment. 

 

Clarke finds herself smiling at the photo and flips it over to see writing scrawled on the back. " _ Lex's 22nd Birthday. Killing the party hat babe _ ." Clarke's heart picks up a pace when she reads the note, she can tell that Costia wrote it, it’s the only logical thing really, and, suddenly, Clarke feels like she's violating Lexa's privacy and disrespecting the life of Costia while she's at it. 

 

Clarke was so absorbed in her sifting through photos that she didn't even notice that the door to the bedroom had been opened and that Lexa was very much standing in the doorway, tray in hand, staring at the blonde and the box in front of her. Clarke looks up to see Lexa standing there, holding a tray, her hands are white knuckled from gripping onto the tray so hard and her muscles are tense but she's not mad - Clarke can tell that she's not mad. 

 

There's a tense moment as Lexa says nothing before she steps into the room, lays the tray down on the bedside table next to Clarke and she sits down on the edge of the bed next to Clarke. She sighs and Clarke sheepishly looks at her feeling incredibly guilty - especially for dragging this all up. "I'm sorry." Clarke apologises placing the polaroid back into the box but Lexa stops her, grabbing hold of the box and placing it on her lap. 

 

"Don't be." Lexa says dismissively. "It's about time I opened this." Clarke watches her carefully as her forest green eyes scan the photographs in the box and she picks up the polaroid Clarke had been holding. "It's time." Lexa decides. Clarke frowns in confusion before remembering the writing on the front ‘do not open until ready’. She thinks she understands: Lexa's ready. "It's been time for a really long time." Lexa says shaking her head. "I'm ready to move on and this box is... just it's-" 

 

"Hey," Clarke says softly and Lexa looks at her, neglecting the box of painful memories in her lap. "just because you're ready to move on doesn't mean you have to get rid of everything." Clarke says gently. "It's okay to keep the photographs to remember her by. It’s  _ okay,  _ Lexa." Clarke reassures and Lexa shakes her head. 

 

"No, you don't get it." Lexa says. "I've been ready for so long and I never opened this box because I always thought I'd just sink into a pit of depression, or that I'd find that she still had my heart with her, but, Clarke, I don't feel like that." Lexa explains and Clarke listens intently staring at the brunette as she explains. "I feel sad, sure, I don't think that'll ever go away, but I'm not haunted by her anymore. I can just look at these photos and think about what I had and not what I lost." Lexa continues. "Does that make sense?" Lexa frowns, turning around and placing the photo back in the box. 

 

She pushes it aside and faces Clarke fully with the blonde wondering what she should say. "I loved her, I'm not  _ still  _ in love with her, and I'll love again, I feel like I  _ can  _ love again, I never really felt like I could but I do now." Lexa explains and Clarke smiles brightly at her. She couldn't tell Lexa how relieved that made her feel, because that meant that she had a chance that Lexa might feel the same way as she did about her, but Clarke didn't want to get her hopes up. 

 

Lexa smiles at her, though Clarke can see that her eyes hold a little sadness, and she gets it,  _ of course _ she gets it, Lexa's still hurt by the reminder that Costia is no longer with her but she's accepted it and she's okay with it, she knows that now, and Clarke can't help but get her hopes up. Lexa could've become a really shitty person, she'd been dealt a shitty hand and, by all accounts, if she had ended up bitter and hateful then she would've had every right to be. Clarke knows what grief can do to a person, she's experienced it first hand, perhaps not as much as the woman sat in front of her who lost her father when she was young, her uncle when she was in school and then later in life her girlfriend, but Clarke's lost people she cares about too and she understands it. 

 

Grief affects people in different ways but Lexa's grief has only made her softer, sure, she's guarded, and probably more cautious about letting people in, but she's gentle, and kind, and loving, and grief hasn't twisted Lexa inside out and left her a bitter woman, it's made her softer, yet stronger spirited, and Clarke loves that about her.  "God," Clarke can't help it, she cups Lexa's face in her hands and pulls the brunette closer to her face. "you're amazing." Clarke whispers, it's not what she wants to say, she wants to say ‘ _ God, I love you _ ’, but she's afraid of scaring Lexa away and she's still not sure if Lexa feels the same way as she does. 

 

Lexa smiles as Clarke presses her lips to her forehead before Clarke sits back resting her back against the headboard. Clarke glances at the box and spies an interesting photo .She reaches into it and Lexa watches as she pulls out a photo. It's a picture of Anya and Lexa, no Costia, only she had taken the photograph, and, in Lexa's miserable state, she'd shoved everything that reminded her of Costia into that box, including the photos when she was behind the camera rather than in front of it. 

 

It's a picture of Lexa all sweaty, in a jersey and shorts, lacrosse stick grasped in one hand while her other was wrapped around Anya’s neck who is smiling brightly at the camera - which is actually quite surprising for Anya. Anya has two strokes of black paint on her cheeks while Lexa seems to have it smeared all over her eyes. It makes her look like a raccoon - a cute raccoon. Lexa's smiling, happily, while Anya has her free arm up in the air in a kind of celebration. "Oh, that." Lexa says with a nostalgic smile. "Anya insisted that we take a photo since I was a  _ ‘winner’  _ that day." Lexa rolls her eyes at the memory and Clarke raises an eyebrow at the brunette. 

 

"You played lacrosse?" Clarke asks a little surprised. 

 

"It's how I got my scholarship to college." Lexa explains which really does surprise Clarke. 

 

"So you didn't  _ just  _ play lacrosse, you were good at it." Clarke says with a smirk and Lexa chuckles. 

 

"I played in high school, I thought maybe it'd make me more popular, it didn't, but then I ended up really liking it so I continued and I was good." Lexa shrugs. "I wanted to go to college, and my mom had been saving up, but it wasn't a lot, so I had to get a scholarship. Lacrosse was my way in." Lexa continues. "Turns out, lacrosse makes you popular in college. My school was really passionate about it, if you were on the lacrosse team you were automatically cool which was a change of pace for me." Lexa smiles. "That's how I met Costia." Clarke was intrigued now, she'd told Lexa about how she had met Finn but now Lexa was opening up and Clarke was finding out who Lexa Woods really was - for example, she could play lacrosse and well apparently. 

 

"The team hosted a party whenever we won, which, we never lost a game first year so it was quite a lot of parties." Clarke laughs and Lexa brushes a strand of blonde hair from her face. "I met Costia at one of the parties. It was totally cliche actually, she walked into me, I spilled my drink all over her so I offered her my jersey-" 

 

"Such a gentlewoman." Clarke interrupts with a snort and Lexa grins. 

 

"I just happened to be wearing my jersey over another shirt, so I figured it was only fair, she did walk into me but, hey, I'm a nice person." Clarke didn't doubt it, sure, her grief had made her soft but something told Clarke that Lexa had always been a softie. "I was popular for once, no bullies, nobody cared that I was gay, college was the best thing that ever happened to me." Lexa adds as an afterthought. "Anyway, it was supposed to be a one time thing but..." Lexa trails off and shrugs. "I guess I'm not built for one time things." She adds and Clarke smiles placing the photo back in the box. 

 

"So I'm not just a one time thing?" Clarke asks seductively and Lexa swallows hard because she recognises that tone. "You're not just going to hit it and quit it?" She teases, nudging Lexa who shakes her head in amusement. 

 

"I'm marrying you Clarke." Lexa reminds her which only serves to entertain Clarke further. 

 

"Wow, you really aren't built for a one time thing." She says sarcastically and Lexa rolls her eyes. She leans in to kiss Clarke but, before their lips meet, there's an interruption - and quite a loud one. 

 

"Ew, will you two cut it out?" Raven asks appearing in the doorway. Lexa lets out an exasperated sigh, tilting her head down, and Clarke laughs at Lexa's irritation of being interrupted again. 

 

"Do you ever knock before you enter a room?" Lexa asks turning around to face Raven who scowls at her. 

 

"No, if I did that then I wouldn't walk in on situations and make everything awkward and embarrassing." Raven says like it was obvious. 

 

"Exactly." Lexa mutters standing up from the bed. Raven drifts into the room and snatches a piece of toast from the tray that Lexa had put down before earning her a frown of disapproval from Lexa. 

 

"How else would I get all the juicy gossip?" Raven winks at the brunette and Lexa groans. Clarke smiles at their interactions, she knows that Raven can be a little hard to handle but Lexa seems to genuinely like her and they have this kind of dynamic that she doesn't totally get but it's great to watch. "So," Raven looks at Lexa and the brunette narrows her eyes in suspicion. "what are we having for breakfast?" She asks and Lexa shakes her head. 

 

Clarke giggles, standing up and pecking Lexa on the cheek which serves to lighten the brunette's mood. Clarke exits the bedroom and she knows that Lexa's following her but Raven remains in the bedroom, her eyes catching on the shoebox sitting on the bed still open for her to see. She stares at it for a moment, before tossing the toast, that she had taken a bite out of, back down onto the tray. "Damn," she comments to herself. "toast is cold." 

 

She wanders out of the bedroom, following the couple into the kitchen, and sits down at the dining room table in there. Lexa rolls her eyes and opens the fridge, grabbing the leftover pizza that they had from the previous night, she places it in front of Raven without a word and the mechanic grins. "Cold pizza for breakfast?" She asks. "I like your style Woods." 

 

"You know, that's really not healthy." Clarke comments, taking a slice anyway, and Lexa smiles, silently observing the blonde as she takes the slice, Clarke was hard to keep her eyes off of. 

 

"Don't be hypocrite Clarke, no one likes one of those." Raven says pointedly staring at the pizza in the blonde's hand before happily returning to her own slice. "Anyway, I know you're probably just trying to get into Dr Griff Griff mode so I'll let it slide." Raven says with a shrug. Clarke rolls her eyes at the nickname, Raven always called her that, she had no idea how she had even come up with it but, secretly, Clarke loved it. "Oh, so I have a surprise for you that may or may not be here for when you get home, you know, because it's your birthday  tomorrow ." Raven explains. 

 

"It better not be a stripper." Clarke says seriously and Lexa laughs from her position of leaning against the kitchen counter behind Raven. 

 

"That was one time." Raven says and Lexa's eyes widen ever so slightly. "Plus you really enjoyed it... until, the guy, like, broke his leg or whatever." Raven mutters and Lexa was certainly intrigued now. Clarke could see Lexa shift, obviously wanting more information but not wanting to outwardly ask for it. 

 

"First of all, you're the one who told him to slide down that rickety ass pole that you bought off the internet." Clarke says, giving Racen a look, but all the mechanic does is snicker like the memory was the most hilarious thing in the world. "Secondly, you got me black out drunk, you could’ve put anything in front of me in suspenders and a speedo and I would've loved it." Lexa shakes her head, taking a slice of pizza and deciding to stay out of the two friends's conversation. 

 

"Then I know what I'm getting you for your birthday  tomorrow ." Raven says with a sly smirk and Clarke wants to put her hand over Raven’s mouth because she can see the glint in her friend’s eyes and knows that Raven's about to say something totally inappropriate. "Hey Lex, how do you feel about wearing a speedo and suspenders while giving a lap dance to your fiancée?" Lexa chokes on the pizza, that she was eating, at the question and coughs a couple of times, her eyes watering, she had not expected that. 

 

" _ Raven _ !" Clarke scolds, swatting at her best friend who just ducks out of the way of her hand. Raven just gives her a wink and a smirk and Clarke hates Raven's sense of humour sometimes. 

 

"I wouldn't be opposed to it." Both girls freeze when they hear that. Clarke stares, wide eyed, at Raven who looked just as shocked by the words they had just heard leave Lexa's mouth as Clarke did. "Of course,  _ only  _ for my fiancée." Lexa adds on, kissing Clarke on the top of the head as she passes by. 

 

They wait until they hear the bathroom door shut, and the sound of the shower running, before Clarke is practically dying from blushing at the images that had ran through her head and breathing heavily from the mere thought. " _ Fuck _ !" Raven exclaims. "Can  _ I  _ marry Lexa?" She asks and Clarke just stares at her, still in slight shock from the comment. "Damn, she's a successful lawyer, she's not opposed to stripping, serves cold pizza for breakfast  _ and  _ she's good in bed? You've struck a damn gold mine there Clarke." Clarke finally gets her blushing under control and lets out a sort of strangled groan, not sure what else to say. Raven just shakes her head in amusement at the blonde and continues eating her cold pizza. 

 

"She's-" Clarke swallows, finally composing herself. "She's definitely something else." 

 

"That's what I'm saying." Raven agrees. "If you don't hurry up and marry her, I will." It almost sounds like a promise and Clarke feels a spike of jealousy in her gut, even though she knows that it's totally irrational, Raven would never do that to her, it causes her to frown at her best friend who laughs. "Calm down, I won't step on your territory." Raven says holding her hands up and sometimes Clarke really hates how well Raven can read her because the jealousy had been fleeting but Raven had seen it and recognised it. 

 

"She's not my territory." Clarke mutters staring down at her pizza. 

 

"You were ready to pee on her like a dog when I even so much as mentioned how she would make an amazing wife even though I was clearly joking." Raven points out and Clarke rolls her eyes again. 

 

"I was not." She protests but it's feeble and both girls know it. 

 

"She's already claimed you as her territory," Raven gestures to the ring. "you're wearing her ring." Clarke fiddles with the ring, truth be told, it felt like it was apart of her now, she didn't even notice that she was wearing it anymore, she just expected to see it whenever she looked down, like it had always been there. "Like Beyoncé said, if you like then you should've put a ring on it." Raven says and Clarke shakes her head, giving Raven a look of utter confusion. "She clearly likes you, so she put a ring on you." Clarke lets out a laugh, though it sounds more like a sigh, and Raven smiles at her. "Maybe even loves." Raven says, in fact, she was pretty certain that Lexa loved Clarke. 

 

"Well I don't know about that but she does like me, she told me." Clarke almost sounds annoyed and she sits back in her seat while crossing her arms across her chest. "I think she was going to say that she loved me last night but then something happened, it was like she just seized up, like she didn't even know what she was going to say." Raven bites her lip in thought and then sighs. 

 

"She knows but she doesn't know." Raven mutters but Clarke doesn't quite catch it. 

 

"What?" Clarke asks and Raven shakes her head. 

 

"Give her time." She says instead and Clarke pouts. She was giving her time. Raven watches her friend for a moment and waits a few minutes before restarting their conversation. "So while you and Lexa are pursuing career options, I'm also looking into a garage that's nearby, since that's why I wanted to come to Arkadia in the first place." Raven admits and Clarke smiles happily at her friend. All Raven's ever really wanted to do was have her own shop, where she could work on cars, and do whatever it was that mechanics liked to do, but things had always held her back - her mom being one of the biggest set backs, her leg being the other. 

 

"I'm happy for you." Clarke says with a smile before putting on a serious expression. "But seriously, this surprise, it better not be a stripper." Raven gives her a mischievous look which Clarke narrows her eyes at. 

 

"I make no promises." She says with a wink and Clarke groans. Now if Raven could convince Lexa to wear a speedo and suspenders, then that might be a stripper that Clarke could deal with. 

 

**//**

 

Lexa and Clarke enter the hospital hand in hand. It had become one of Clarke's favourite things to do, the feeling of how perfectly Lexa's hand slips into her hand is indescribable, she likes that there's a part of Lexa that fits to her so well, she likes the fact that Lexa takes her hand without any hesitation anymore, it's almost a normal thing for them to do, and that warms Clarke to the core. 

 

Lexa's hand is smooth and soft, in fact, Clarke's pretty sure it's impossible to have such soft hands, the brunette must moisturise regularly. Clarke, on the other hand, has slightly calloused hands thanks to her years spent painting and drawing. Every so often, Lexa's thumb runs over Clarke's hand, which causes a tickling sensation that makes Clarke shudder, but that's also why she loves holding Lexa's hand. Another plus is the fact that Clarke is left handed and Lexa is right handed which is pretty perfect when you think about it because Clarke can hold Lexa's hand while still being able to do other things with her hand should she need to. 

 

They stop just inside of the waiting room, Clarke turns to face her fiancée who gives her a reassuring smile. "You'll do great." Lexa promises and Clarke takes a deep breath. She was a little nervous, despite the fact that she'd been over it with Lexa and even knew the chief of surgery but it still did little to settle her nerves. She didn't need to be nervous but she just was. 

 

Clarke smiles at her, and was about to reply, when she's interrupted by a familiar voice. "Clarke!" Clarke turns around to see Wells approaching with a bright smile on his face. "My dad hasn't stopped talking about you." Wells admits. Lexa remains quiet as Wells hugs Clarke in greeting. Last time she was here she was jealous of the guy but she knew she had nothing to worry about, when Clarke told Lexa that they were just close childhood friends, and nothing more, Lexa believed her - she liked to give the benefit of the doubt to her fiancée rather than just giving in to her jealousy. 

 

"Lexa." Wells says with an equally bright smile. Lexa almost wants to groan - Wells just  _ had  _ to be a good guy - he actually seemed like a genuine person and, if Clarke was friends with him, then he probably was the caring, kind person Lexa suspected him to be. Lexa shakes his hand and Clarke smiles at the interaction. "It's good to see you again." Wells says and Lexa nods her head with a polite smile. Truthfully, she felt a little awkward, she barely knew Wells, and she always was a little awkward around new people at first. 

 

"You too." Lexa replies. Wells withdraws his hand and takes in Lexa's appearance: she was dressed in work pants, a button down and a blazer with smart shoes. She was obviously dressed for the office, or court, or something, but he didn't know her well enough to inquire on such a thing. He turns his attention back to Clarke who was looking lovingly up at her fiancée. Wells immediately sees it, there's a change in their behaviour around each other, and the way that Clarke is looking at Lexa says it all. 

 

"Clarke?" Wells asks causing Clarke to jump a little in surprise, snapping out of her trance that she was in. "You ready?" He asks and Clarke slowly nods her head. Wells gestures towards the elevators and Clarke nods again looking up at Lexa with wide eyes which showed a hint of fear and nerves. 

 

"Don't worry." Lexa reassures leaning down slightly to whisper it so that no one else could hear. Wells watches their exchange with a small smile, he was happy to see Clarke happy - even if she did seem a little shaky from nerves. "I believe in you." Lexa murmurs and Clarke can't resist it, she grabs the brunette by her blazer front and pulls her down for a kiss. Lexa kisses back immediately, smiling into the kiss, she was more than happy to provide Clarke with support and comfort, in whatever way, plus kissing Clarke was like a breath of fresh air no matter what. 

 

Clarke pulls back from the kiss, it wasn’t really working since they were both smiling and Lexa was even laughing a little. "Thank you." Clarke says seriously, releasing Lexa who grins back at her. 

 

"Anything I can do to help." Lexa replies. 

 

" _ Anything _ ?" Clarke asks suggestively and Lexa rolls her eyes, turning Clarke around by the shoulders. 

 

"You really have to stop doing that." Lexa mutters, squeezing Clarke's shoulders affectionately. "Otherwise I might be tempted to take you up on that." Lexa nudges Clarke gently in the direction of Wells and the blonde glances over her shoulder to smirk at her future spouse who just rolls her eyes. 

 

Things with Lexa were going great, sure, Clarke was still scared as hell about the magnitude of her feelings, and not wanting to repeat the history she had with Finn with Lexa, but she had accepted it now and, with that acceptance, she liked to just enjoy her time with the brunette, with her  _ fiancée _ , because Lexa made her truly happy - especially when she held her and kissed her and held her hand. 

 

Clarke follows Wells to the elevator and steps on beside him, watching as the doors close and Lexa is no longer in her view. Wells was a childhood friend, he used to live in Polis with his father Thelonious Jaha, who was close with Clarke's parents, but after Wells and Clarke separated for college, then met again in med school, Thelonious had moved to Arkadia to be chief of surgery and invited his son to complete his residency there rather than in Polis where Clarke was stuck. So it had been a while since Clarke had talked to her old friend or seen him - other than that one time before. "So how is your dad?" Clarke asks curiously and Wells shrugs. 

 

"He's good, I think." He answers. "I think maybe he might be stressed from the pressure of being chief but he's doing okay." Clarke nods her head, satisfied that Jaha was doing good. "What about you?" Wells asks. "How's your engagement going?" He asks and Clarke hears the hint of a teasing tone to his voice. 

 

"It's going well." Clarke answers - Wells is pretty sure that Clarke doesn't even realise that she's smiling, but she is smiling, and he now realises that Lexa must mean a lot to his old friend. 

 

"How about Mr and Mrs Griffin?" Wells asks and Clarke lets out a small laugh at the fact that Wells still refused to just call them Abby and Jake. 

 

"My mom's still suffocating as ever, and my dad's still the goofball of the family," Clarke smiles at the thought of her parents - especially her dad. "but I love them I guess." Clarke shrugs and Wells chuckles because he got that. They make small talk as Wells leads Clarke towards his father's office which was located in the east wing. 

 

Once they reach Jaha's office Wells gives Clarke another hug for good luck then knocks on the door. Jaha calls for Clarke to enter and she gives Wells one final nervous look before stepping inside of the office. "Clarke!" Jaha exclaims happily standing up from his office chair. He comes across the room and wraps Clarke in a tight hug which she returns somewhat awkwardly. "I haven't seen you since you shipped off to college, how have you been?" He asks sitting back down at his desk. Clarke hovers for a moment before Jaha gestures for the blonde to take a seat at one of the empty seats in front of his desk. 

 

"Well I'm engaged." Clarke admits. Thelonious looks up when she says that, his eyes darting down to the ring sitting on Clarke's finger, Wells clearly hadn't told his father about Clarke's engagement - which was weird considering that they usually had a close relationship with one another. 

 

"Oh, congratulations!" He says with a smile. "It's good to see you so..." He trails off for a moment, and Clarke gets the impression she knows what he's talking about, the last Jaha probably heard from her mother was about how Clarke was miserable and not living her life to the fullest - or that she was destroying her career, there were a lot of options. 

 

"Anyway," He says, changing the subject, and Clarke sighs with relief. "you're here for a job?" He asks. Clarke sits forward and nods her head, crossing her arms and sitting up straight to give off a more professional vibe. "I see you aced your intern exam." Jaha mutters looking over some files that he had - Clarke is certain her mother probably sent them off as soon as she heard that Clarke was interested in working at Arkadia's hospital. "You completed your first year of residency as an intern, performed as one of the most promising candidates in the programme, aced your exam and then decided to take a break for personal reasons." Jaha recites looking up at Clarke. 

 

"Yes." Clarke confirms and Jaha throws the file aside. 

 

"That would make you a second year resident that you're...  _ applying  _ for." Jaha sounded unsure about the word ‘applying’ and Clarke shifts nervously. 

 

"Yes sir." Clarke answers. "As you can see, I think that I'd make an excellent candidate to the programme-" Clarke stops talking the second that Jaha raises a hand to silence her. Clarke begins to panic that this whole thing was going terribly bad but, then again, it hadn't really  _ begun  _ yet and she wasn't sure if she'd said something that could've messed this up in such a short time frame. 

 

"You don't have to say anything Clarke." Jaha says with a warm smile that relaxes Clarke a little. "Your file speaks for you in volumes, actually, it's clear that you would probably be an incredible surgical resident, one that rivals even my son, I just..." Jaha trails off, leaning back in his seat and examining Clarke carefully. "Are you sure this is what you want?" He asks and Clarke blinks at him. 

 

Clarke had known Jaha for a long time but he hadn't been around to witness Clarke breaking apart while pushing the people she loved aside. Clarke had shut herself off from everyone the first few months after Finn's death. Once she did resurface, she was a shell of who she used to be, although she tried her best to convince people otherwise, but Clarke's never been much of a liar and her friends and family didn't fall for it. She rarely painted and her studies fell slightly, which worried Abby since Clarke was in her last year of pre med and preparing for Med school, the previous bubbly, happy-go-lucky Clarke was nowhere to be seen and Raven and Octavia worried constantly about their best friend. 

 

Clarke buried herself in studying, and pretty much everything other than herself, before eventually she did come to neutral ground, surviving but not living, she was there but she wasn't, she acted like she was better and, hell, Clarke even believed she was but everyone knew better. Over time, that's just who Clarke had become but, now, that Clarke didn't exist anymore. Of course she was still sad about Finn's death, and there's a dull ache in her chest every time she thinks about what she did -  _ not what she did, what  _ happened - but then she remembers Lexa, and she sees her half smile, and her green eyes, and her curly brunette hair, and her warmth when they sleep pressed up against each other, and her heart swells and she feels almost guilty that Lexa makes her feel that way, that Lexa lessens her pain for the man she lost, but she does and Clarke loves her. Clarke's no longer just surviving, she's  _ living _ . 

 

"Yes." Clarke says nodding her head decisively. "I want to get back to being me again, I'm engaged, I'm painting again, I want this." Clarke says, determination settling in her bones, Jaha nods his head, regarding Clarke with a curious look, he had heard about Clarke from Abby but she really did look like the girl he had waved goodbye to when she had been leaving for college, so maybe Clarke did really want this, maybe she was prepared for this now. 

 

"Then it's my pleasure to welcome you to Arkadia's residency programme." Jaha says, standing up and extending his hand. "You  start Monday ." Clarke stands up and takes his hand, shaking it with a genuine smile. "It was good seeing you again Clarke." Jaha says, releasing the blonde's hand. Clarke nods her head - she'd be seeing him more often now anyway. "So why the location change? Does your new fiancée want you to move here?" 

 

"It's not so much as she wants me to as it is that I want to." Clarke answers. She's been waiting to get out of Polis once and for all and Lexa is her escape - in more than one way - and Clarke's thankful that she can live with Lexa in their own space. 

 

Clarke says goodbye one last time and exits the office to find Wells still waiting for her outside. He stands up straight and he falls into step beside Clarke as they both make their way towards the elevator. "So?" Wells asks raising his eyebrows and Clarke smirks. "Are you really going to leave me hanging?" He asks, stepping onto the elevator and hitting the button for the right floor. Clarke shrugs playfully and Wells lets out a breathy laugh of amusement. 

 

"You better get used to it," Clarke says with a smile. "if we're going to be working together that is." She adds and Wells eyes widen, he turns to face Clarke with a huge smile. "Did you doubt me?" Clarke asks, feining offence, and Wells laughs, enveloping Clarke in a tight embrace. 

 

"Of course I didn't." He says hugging Clarke tightly. "I'm happy for you." 

 

"I'm happy for me." Clarke replies. The doors open to the elevator and they pull apart, Wells stepping off first, with a very giddy Clarke behind him. They walk together in comfortable silence towards the waiting area at the front of the hospital. 

 

Clarke stops in her tracks when she's Lexa standing talking to a young boy. She was smiling, clearly teasing him about something, and Clarke's heart picks up in her chest. She hadn't really thought about having a child, the thought hadn't even crossed her mind before, but, right now, watching as Lexa pretended to pull a coin from behind the boy's ear, and then hand it to him with a playful wink, the thought wasn’t completely unwelcome, in fact, Clarke found herself wanting a child with Lexa. Obviously, not right now, it was too soon, but some day, in the future, she'd really like that. 

 

It's in that moment that Clarke feels her heart swell and her chest expand with utter adoration for the tall brunette who ruffles the kid’s hair as he scampers off to catch up to, presumably, his mother. Lexa smiles after him a little longer, before turning to look to see that Clarke had returned. Clarke contemplated telling her then and there, because the swelling in her chest was overwhelming and she just wanted to scream that she loved Lexa, she loves her, she really does, and keeping it locked away might just be killing her slowly, but her fear wins out, the words die in her throat and she simply just smiles as Lexa makes her way towards her, drowned in golden light that streams through the large open windows of the hospital, she's smiling with that smile that Clarke loves and then she's in front of Clarke and she's hugging her. 

 

Clarke wraps her arms around Lexa's mid section, sighing as she brings her head to rest in the crook of Lexa's neck, inhaling deeply for Lexa's scent. "I told you you had nothing to worry about." Lexa says and Clarke squeezes her tighter because she does have something to worry about - like the enormity of her feelings - but Lexa doesn't know that. "Are you okay?" Lexa asks, not pulling away, but Clarke hears the frown in her words and she can imagine the crinkling in Lexa's brow in confusion. 

 

"I'm..." Clarke takes another deep breath of Lexa and then sighs. "Perfect." She decides. Lexa pulls away then, as though something in Clarke's tone alarmed her, but when she looks at Clarke she sees nothing but happiness reflected in her gaze. Lexa narrows her eyes suspiciously and Clarke just gives her a bright smile in response. 

 

"So who were you talking to?" Clarke asks, keen for a change of subject, worried that the words might slip if Lexa keeps looking at her like  _ that _ . Lexa glances behind her, a faint smile on her lips, before she returns back to her neutral expression. 

 

"Just a friend." Lexa replies. 

 

"Should I be jealous?" Clarke teases and Lexa laughs slightly. 

 

"Maybe a little." She replies. Wells clears his throat and says his goodbyes, giving Clarke another hug and Lexa a firm handshake before disappearing. 

 

"Come on beautiful," Clarke says walking towards the exit. "time to check out your hotshot office." Lexa catches up with her and, again, Clarke feels her hand slip into her own - like she said, she loves how seamlessly their hands fit together and how Lexa had taken to doing it so often. 

 

"Me, beautiful?" Lexa scoffs tugging on Clarke's hand so their shoulders brush together as they walk. "Have you seen you?" Lexa asks glancing at Clarke nervously. Despite herself, she still gets flustered whenever she talks about Clarke, her heart rate increases tenfold and she becomes a nervous wreck. 

 

"Shut up." Clarke replies rolling her eyes in disbelief. Lexa stops immediately and, since their hands are tethered together, Clarke comes to her own abrupt stop. They're on the sidewalk, busy business people glaring at them for stopping in the middle of the path, but Lexa doesn't care and neither does Clarke when Lexa touches her free hand to Clarke's jaw. 

 

"I mean it." Lexa murmurs, drawing close to Clarke's face, brushing her lips over the blonde's but not quite kissing, she runs her thumb along Clarke's jaw line, her eyes darting to Clarke's features that Lexa thinks might just be the most exquisite thing she's ever laid her eyes on. She kisses the top of Clarke's nose in an adorable gesture that Clarke wishes right then and there that she'll do more often because the lurching of her heart, threatening to jump right out of her chest, is intoxicating and  _ how can someone be so charming when they're not even trying? _ "You're the most beautiful person I've met." Lexa whispers. She lingers for a moment longer and Clarke feels the words make their way past her throat this time, to the tip of her tongue, and her mouth is opening when Lexa backs away abruptly and she's pulling Clarke down the street again with her lopsided smile and then the words have disappeared once again.

 

**//**

 

When they arrive at Trikru Law Firm Clarke is even more nervous about seeing Indra once again than she was about her meeting with Jaha. The receptionist is very familiar to Clarke, and it takes her a moment to realise that it's Echo, the woman had clearly done well for herself after Lexa had helped her. Lexa lights up the second she sees Echo and Clarke knows that it's not just because Echo is  _ kind  _ of a friend to her but because Lexa can see the difference that she's made in someone's life, through her work, and that's rewarding for her to see. 

 

Echo stands up from behind the desk and hugs Lexa and Lexa, who usually doesn't do too well with physical contact, hugs her back tightly. "What are you doing here?" Lexa asks pulling out of the hug and Echo laughs. 

 

"I know, crazy isn't it?" Echo asks. "Indra offered me a job and since, you know... I've been doing really well." She says, her face flickering slightly from the thought of her ex and what she had went through. 

 

"I'm glad to hear that." Lexa says with a comforting smile. Echo notices Clarke standing behind Lexa a little and she grins at the blonde. 

 

"I see the fiancée is still on the scene." Echo says. "I trust she's treating you well?" Echo asks Clarke and Lexa rolls her eyes at the question. Clarke laughs nevertheless and glances at Lexa with a look that has Echo's eyebrows raising. Echo doesn't really know Clarke, nor does she particularly know Lexa, but she can see the obvious shift in their relationship, and the way that Clarke is looking at Lexa gives it all away, but she's not one to pry so she just smiles softly at them. 

 

"She's a handful." Clarke answers playfully and Lexa gives her a mock offended look. 

 

"Excuse me?  _ I'm  _ a handful?" She asks incredulously, her voice teasing. Echo shakes her head at the pair and gestures for them to follow her so she can take them up to where Indra was waiting. "I'm not the one who's constantly being inappropriate and trying to break someone's resolve." Lexa mutters, so only Clarke can hear, as they walk towards the elevator. Clarke snorts at the accusation, it's playful, and Clarke can see the smirk on Lexa's lips, plus she's not technically wrong because Clarke does do that, she loves seeing how far she can press Lexa on their no sex deal, it entertains her if she's being honest, and, mostly, it’s because Lexa seems to have just as much self control as Clarke and she almost always gives in in some way. 

 

"Speaking of which," Clarke says stepping onto the elevator, joining Lexa at the back while Echo presses the floor button. "tomorrow's my birthday." Clarke says suggestively. Lexa raises an eyebrow at the suggestive tone and turns her head ever so slightly to see Clarke biting her bottom lip. 

 

"You're a bad influence." Lexa says shaking her head and Clarke laughs leaning up to peck Lexa on the cheek which she's rewarded by the brunette blushing which Clarke is sure she'll never get used to. They step off the elevator and Clarke had almost forgotten that they were meeting Indra. That is until she sees the woman standing talking to someone, stern expression, hard set, and Clarke unconsciously steps closer to Lexa who smiles slightly at the action. 

 

Indra looks up, and catches them walking towards her, she sends the person she was talking to away with a simple look and then she's standing with her arms across her chest and-  _ Is that a smile? _ Clarke stares in disbelief as the intense woman smiles at Lexa - it almost seems like it shouldn't fit her face but it does - and then she's clasping Lexa's forearm as they greet each other like old friends which, Clarke supposes, they are. 

 

They talk about small details, Indra talking about the different employees, recent cases, profits, percentages, stuff that Clarke tunes out almost immediately - the only reason she's even awake is the feeling Lexa's hand in her own and the beautiful art and architecture of the building. They're in a new skyscraper, that much is clear, it’s all sharp and metal, a clean look, with marble floors and Clarke almost feels like it's rubbing its success in the faces of all the other skyscrapers because no way are they this good looking.  _ Can a building be good looking? _

 

Indra stops outside an office that has a glass door and open glass windows that have shutters on them for when whoever inside needed privacy. She regards Clarke for a moment, who seemed to be far away, too absorbed in her surroundings, before looking at Lexa directly. "This would be your office." Indra says. "It's just a standard office at the moment so of course you can give it a more personal touch later." Lexa nods her head in understanding and Clarke fees herself coming back down to earth when Lexa squeezes her hand. "I'll leave you alone while you have a look and talk to your fiancée." Indra glances at the blonde at Lexa's side who, again, takes a small step towards Lexa's side, so their shoulders are touching, at Indra's gaze. 

 

"Thank you." Lexa says with a grateful smile. She enters the office with Clarke in tow and Clarke is instantly blown away. If this was what a standard office looked like then Clarke would like to see what an upgraded office looked like. There's a large glass desk at the back that has perfectly organised filing cabinets behind the leather chair that sits in front of the desk. On the opposite side of the desk is two leather seats that looked comfortable and new. A computer sits on the table top of the desk, but Clarke knows that Lexa prefers to work off of her laptop than a computer, there's decorations, water, utensils, all sorts, even a fern in the corner of the room. It's clean, crisp and organised and so  _ Lexa _ . 

 

Lexa walks around the office carefully and Clarke can see her hesitance, her eyebrows drawn together ever so slightly, and Clarke smiles at the sight as Lexa examines the room with curious eyes. This was defiantly an upgrade from Lexa's home office, which was literally just a shabby desk shoved in the corner of her apartment, and she wasn't sure if maybe this was a little too much. "What's going on in your head?" Clarke asks quietly and Lexa looks at her over her shoulder before walking towards the desk. 

 

"Is this too much?" Lexa asks turning around when she reaches the side of the desk to look at Clarke. "I feel... I feel overwhelmed, like I shouldn't be here." 

 

"You're having second thoughts?" Clarke asks, cocking her head to the side a little. Lexa nods her head and Clarke purses her lips in thought for a moment. "Take a seat." Clarke instructs. Lexa looks at her, clearly confused, her brow furrowed. 

 

"What?" She asks. 

 

"Take a seat." Clarke repeats gesturing to the desk chair. "Then tell me how you feel." Lexa looks at the desk chair like it might eat her alive and Clarke finds the sight all too adorable. She approaches it cautiously, glancing at Clarke, who encourages her with a nod, she pulls the chair back, that rolls out easily thanks to its wheels, and she sits down on it, tucking herself automatically under the desk, and Clarke watches her, arms folded across her chest, a few feet away. 

 

Lexa sits there for a moment, crossing her forearms on the desk, looking forward, before a smile tugs at the corner of her lips. "I want this." Lexa says, she sounds almost surprised, and she looks at Clarke with wide eyes and Clarke laughs. 

 

"You want this." Clarke repeats and Lexa shakes her head - she didn't know how Clarke had come up with that idea but she appreciated it. She just needed a little perspective, to feel the leather of the desk chair and the authority it made her feel. Clarke comes around the side of the desk and leans against it facing Lexa. "It's okay to want this." Lexa smiles and stands up kissing Clarke on the lips. The blonde startles slightly from the sudden affection, and the intensity of the kiss, but she settles into it almost instantly, her hand coming to rest on Lexa's shoulder, she shuffles back slightly and wraps her legs around Lexa's waist. Lexa's tongue explores Clarke's mouth with passion and Clarke moans at the dominance of it all. 

 

Clarke pulls back after a minute, a grin on her face as she looks at Lexa with her bright blue eyes. "Oh yeah, I like this office." Clarke states and Lexa chuckles leaning her forehead against Clarke's. Clarke wants to ask what that kiss was about, if she knows Lexa, and she does, the brunette would tell her herself when she deemed so. 

 

"Sorry," Lexa says. "I just had to kiss you." Truthfully, Lexa had felt an overwhelming amount of feelings hammer in her chest, threatening to break out, when she looked at the blonde and her first instinct had been to kiss her. "So, you like it?" Lexa asks. She doesn't bother to move away from Clarke and, honestly, the blonde's more than content to stay in the position they're in, with Lexa's hands rating on her thighs and her own legs wrapped around her fiancée's waist. 

 

"You're like some hotshot lawyer." Clarke says playing with the collar of Lexa's shirt. "It's hot." Lexa laughs closing her eyes momentarily and Clarke's stunned when her blue eyes meet those piercing green ones for about the thousandth time - Clarke wonders if the tugging in her gut will ever fade with time every time that Lexa looks at her. 

 

Clarke nods, unable to formulate a sentence that wouldn't contain Clarke embarrassing herself about how turned on she was right now - especially when Lexa leans further into her and touches her in  _ just  _ the right way, barely, but it's there. "Good to know." Lexa replies with a smile. "So I should take it?" Lexa asks and Clarke realises that she's genuinely looking for an answer, her eyes are impossibly soft and Clarke's wondering when they got so intimate. Clarke's never been this intimate with anyone, no one’s ever held her like Lexa does, and she doesn't even know when it became normal for them to do so. 

 

"If that's what you want." Clarke says with a firm nod and Lexa pauses, eyes thrown down to the ground in silent contemplation. She wants it, she does, but she's never been good admitting feelings, or wants, to people and she's not sure she wants anything more than she wants to marry Clarke. 

 

"It is." Lexa admits and Clarke smiles easing Lexa's nerves. It scares her, that Clarke seems to put everything in perspective, and that she can comfort her with a mere smile, but she can and Lexa's not sure if she ever wants that to change. "So," Lexa shifts and Clarke grunts at the sudden friction she feels. "it's your birthday  tomorrow ?" Lexa says suggestively and Clarke raises her eyebrows. 

 

"Are you implying something?" Clarke asks. 

 

"I'm just thinking, maybe I could make an exception," Lexa says and, although she hasn't explicitly said what she's talking about, Clarke knows what she's hinting at. "I wouldn't want to disappoint you on your birthday." Clarke wants to protest that Lexa could never disappoint her but the darkening of Lexa's green eyes renders her speechless and the she's pulling Lexa in for a searing kiss. 

 

Clarke's not sure how long she kisses Lexa for but she kind of wishes she didn't do it on the office table of Lexa's new job because someone behind them interrupts them with a clearing of the throat. Lexa jumps back instantly and Clarke turns around to see Indra staring at them with an almost bored expression. Clarke jumps off the desk, completely flushed red, and Lexa doesn't look any better - she's rubbing the back of her neck and offering a weary smile to her friend. "So would that be a yes to the offer?" Indra asks and Clarke swears it looks like the woman's almost smirking. Lexa shuffles on her feet and Clarke smiles at the gesture before turning her eyes to Indra. 

 

"Yes." Lexa confirms. 

 

"Great, you  start Monday ." Indra says exiting the office. Clarke's glad that Indra isn't Raven because she probably would've made some comment about cleaning the desk down once they were finished - or some other kind of snarky response that Clarke couldn't even imagine. Lexa turns to Clarke and lets out an aggravated breath. 

 

"Why do people keep doing that?" Lexa asks and Clarke chuckles leaning up to peck Lexa on the lips. 

 

"To be fair, we weren't exactly in private." Clarke points out, they both should've known someone might've entered the office, it just didn't seem that important at the time. Lexa huffs in agreement and looks around the office. 

 

"Do you think you could paint something for this office?" Lexa asks and Clarke looks surprised by her question. "I think having a piece of you here would really make this place brighter." Lexa confesses. "Plus, I love your work." 

 

"Number one fan." Clarke says dryly. 

 

"Of course I am." Lexa says with a shrug. "I love your art." Lexa says seriously. Clarke becomes flustered from the compliment - she still wasn't used to people giving her such compliments. "So can we stop by a store to buy Raven that bell I mentioned?" Lexa asks and Clarke laughs. 

 

"The thing is, I think she'd actually probably really like it." Clarke replies and Lexa grins back at her. "Let's go bambi, Raven has her surprise remember?" Lexa pouts at the nickname - she'd thought that Clarke had forgotten about that - but when Clarke leans up and kisses her on the cheek again she forgets her complaints almost instantly.

 

**//**

Clarke was the first up the stairs to the apartment building with Lexa smiling in complete amusement at the fact that Clarke was racing her in the hopes of using her own key to open the apartment door. Clarke's entirely too good for Lexa, she's almost too precious, and Lexa enjoys seeing this side of her. Clarke pulls her keys from her pocket and Lexa raises her eyebrows at the blonde's enthusiastic smile - she was just too cute. Clarke slips her key in the lock and pauses for a moment. "You didn't give me a fake key right?" Clarke asks. Lexa can tell by Clarke’s tone that she's teasing her but Lexa still frowns at the question like it had been a serious one. 

 

"Why would I do that?" Lexa asks, shaking her head with a confused expression. 

 

"I don't know, maybe you wanted me to think that you trusted me, and that you were committed to me, but you really just gave me a fake key." Clarke says. Lexa doesn't laugh at Clarke's explanation although she would've been perfectly valid to do so because Clarke  _ was  _ joking but Lexa took it seriously - Clarke may be joking but her words still carried some weight. 

 

"Twist the key Clarke." Lexa instructs calmly. Clarke turns towards the door and twists the key, hearing the click of the lock as it slips out, and the door is unlocked. Clarke smiles at the sound and pushes the door open slightly before pulling her keys out and slipping them back into her pocket. "I do trust you." Lexa says quietly. "And I am committed to you." She adds. Clarke nods her head, staring into Lexa's eyes that were sincere and honest. 

 

Clarke turns and opens the apartment door before she can say anything stupid and halts when she sees a very suspicious looking Raven standing in the middle of the living room, hands clasped behind her back and a huge grin on her face. Clarke narrows her eyes at her best friend and hears the apartment door close and Lexa walking to stand behind her. "Cover her eyes Lexa!" Raven instructs immediately. Clarke opens her mouth to protest but, before she even has a chance, Lexa steps forward quickly and places her hands over Clarke's eyes in a blindfold gesture. Raven smirks at the brunette as the blonde jumps slightly from the blocking of her vision. 

 

" _ Lexa _ !" Clarke complains trying to shift out from under Lexa's hands but Lexa holds her still. 

 

"Sorry Clarke." Lexa says with an apologetic smile - though Clarke couldn't see it. "I panicked." Lexa shrugs half heartedly and Raven lets out a loud laugh at the brunette. "Plus," Lexa says looking at Raven. "I like Raven, it's important that your friends like me Clarke, so I had to do what she told me." Clarke huffs but gives in anyway, closing her eyes and allowing Lexa to cover her eyes for whatever reason Raven had for wanting her to do that. 

 

There's shuffling, and Clarke's pretty sure she hears the sound of the second bedroom door being opened and closed again, but she can't see to be sure. Lexa smiles at the sight and gives Raven a nod of approval. "Alright, let her see." Raven says. Lexa lifts her hands and Clarke blinks a couple of times, she frowns at Raven before noticing someone else in the room. 

 

"Oh my God." Clarke says. "Octavia!" Clarke yells surging forward to wrap her best friend in a bone crushing hug. Octavia laughs, catching Clarke in her arms and hugging her back with equal force. "I missed you." Clarke admits, she hadn't seen Octavia for a few weeks, despite having come to Arkadia only a few days ago, she had been busy with work and hadn't seen the younger Blake because of it. 

 

"I'm glad someone did." Octavia says in amusement. "I'm sure Raven just wanted me because of the booze I brought with me." Octavia jokes and Raven nods her head. 

 

"Of course." Raven jokes. "Why else would I want you here?" Raven asks. Octavia pulls away from the hug and pushes Raven with a playful smile on her face and Raven just sticks her tongue out at the girl. 

 

"We're going out tonight." Octavia turns back to Clarke. "Pre drinks here and then we party all night long." Octavia says. "For your birthday." She adds as an afterthought and Clarke snorts. 

 

"My birthday is  _ tomorrow _ ." Clarke reminds her and Octavia shrugs - Clarke's certain her eyes dart to Lexa for a second but Clarke's not sure if she imagined it or not. 

 

"Who cares?" Octavia asks. "We have to get Lexa out on the town, I want to see just how well she can hold her liquor." Octavia says and Lexa shakes her head with a smile. "Anyway, I brought vodka." She lifts up a bottle and Clarke takes it from her hand. She examines the bottle for a moment and then looks back up at Octavia. 

 

"I really did miss you." Clarke says with a teasing grin and Octavia rolls her eyes. 

 

"You and Raven use me for alcohol." Octavia states with a fake pout and Clarke chuckles. 

 

"We love you really O." Clarke wraps Octavia in another hug and Lexa steps towards Raven who was standing off to one side. 

 

"That was your surprise?" Lexa asks curiously. Raven looks at her and nods her head before turning to look back at the embracing friends. 

 

"Although, the suspenders and speedos still aren’t off the table if you're up for it?" Raven asks raising her eyebrows. 

 

"God, you and Anya are the same." Lexa comments. 

 

"Speaking of which," Raven says and Lexa raises her eyebrows. "when, erm, when does Anya finish her studies?" Raven asks a little flustered. It's the first time that Lexa's ever seen Raven Reyes flush, because the majority of the time she's cool and sarcastic, joking and not at all bothered by embarrassing situations, but this time she was quite clearly nervous. 

 

"She finishes in a month I think." Lexa answers and Raven nods. 

 

"Cool." She says trying to sound casual but Lexa hears the hopeful tint to her voice. She gives Raven a look and Raven challengers her by raising an eyebrow. 

 

"Should I give  _ you  _ the best friend speech like you gave me?" Lexa asks and Raven scoffs. It's at that moment that Clarke decides to tune into their conversation. 

 

"Best friend speech?" Clarke asks glaring at Raven who holds her hands up in surrender. 

 

"Wow, relax princess, you know, the best friend speech." Raven replies. "The speech where I threaten to kick Lexa's ass if she hurts you in anyway." Raven clarifies. 

 

"Oh, ditto." Octavia chimes in addressing Lexa. "Wait, do I get to do a speech?" Octavia asks and Clarke stares at her friends in disbelief. 

 

"I think I covered it." Raven says and Lexa nods her head. 

 

"Okay." Octavia almost sounds disappointed and her gaze lingers on Raven for a moment. "Tell me what you said?" Octavia asks excitedly and Lexa finds it a little funny that Octavia was excited to hear about the way that Raven had threatened her - not that Raven had really  _ threatened  _ her. Lexa takes the bottle of vodka from Clarke and turns to Octavia. 

 

"Welcome to Arkadia Octavia." She says with a welcoming smile. "I'll put this in the kitchen and we can start pre drinks, or whatever, later." Lexa says already walking towards the kitchen. Clarke watches after her with a smile and then she's being hit on the shoulder by someone. She jumps and turns to glare at Octavia who was the perpetrator. 

 

" _ Ow _ !" She complains, rubbing her shoulder where Octavia had hit her. 

 

"You bitch!" Octavia says. "Your fiancée is the most chivalrous piece of ass I've ever met." 

 

"I wouldn't." Raven warns. "If you even mention how hot Lexa's ass is Clarke gets this murderous look and she practically turns green." Raven says gesturing to Clarke. 

 

"I do not." Clarke protests, she wasn't that jealous, she got that her friends were crude, and had little to no filters, especially Raven, she was used to it but she wasn’t jealous . 

 

"You totally do." Octavia notes and Clarke pouts, crossing her arms across her chest. 

 

"It's okay Clarke, you don't have to worry, my sights are set on your mom." Raven says walking over to the couch and collapsing down on it. 

 

"You are gross." Clarke says wrinkling her nose in disgust. Octavia and Clarke wander over to the couch themselves and plop down beside Raven who had made herself at home. "So Rae," Clarke says. "how did your garage thing go?" She asks curiously. Raven shrugs in response. 

 

"It was okay, needs some work, but I'm Raven, I can practically fix anything so..." She shrugs again and Clarke rolls her eyes. 

 

"What about you O?" Clarke asks curiously. "How did that new client, who stole you from me, go?" Octavia laughs a little and gives Clarke a bright smile. 

 

"Aw, I missed you too." Octavia coos and Clarke smiles. "Anyway, yeah, I set them up with a security detail but they wanted me to stick around for a couple of weeks. It's taken care of now though." Octavia answers. 

 

"What about you Clarkey?" Raven asks. 

 

"I got a job at the hospital." Clarke answers. She's rewarded with cheers from her friends and Clarke nods her head in appreciation. Lexa exits the kitchen again and comes into the living room, sitting down on the floor when she sees her couch dominated mostly by Raven. Clarke lights up when she sees her fiancée and Octavia raises her eyebrows at the action. She glances at Raven who just subtly shakes her head at her in response. 

 

"So what time is it classed as not day drinking?" Raven asks clapping her hands together. "Because I want to get drunk and fast." Clarke was looking forward to going out with her friends and, she was even happier that Lexa would be joining them, she just hoped Lexa wouldn't get too drunk and then go spilling her guts about wanting to die before Clarke because Clarke could not handle that at the moment. 

 

"It's three in the afternoon Rave." Octavia chastises. "I think it's still a little early." Raven wasn't convinced.

 

**//**

 

After many, many, pre drinks, and about five different clubs, Clarke suggested going to a bar that had caught her eye a couple of times when they had been traveling between different clubs. The club was called ‘Grounders’ and Lexa looked incredibly apprehensive about going inside but, when Clarke asked if she was okay, she just smiled and said everything was fine. 

 

After a couple of drinks, Lexa had a nice buzz and she seemed to have relaxed slightly. So far Clarke and Lexa were sober, they'd had a few drinks at the beginning of the night but by now they had sobered, Raven and Octavia, however, were drunk - although Raven a little less so. Raven pulls Octavia up to dance and Lexa watches them leave before resuming her looking around the bar. "What's wrong?" Clarke asks, she leans in closer to Lexa in order for her to be able to hear her over the pounding music, and Lexa looks at her with a confused expression. "Come on, I know you Lex, you're acting weird. What's going on?" Clarke asks. Lexa shrugs in response telling Clarke that, whatever was bothering Lexa, she didn't want to talk about it. 

 

Clarke tuts to herself and then glances around the club. There were a lot of bodies, a lot of people grinding against each other on the dance floor, Grounders seemed to be popular and there was no explanation as to why Lexa looked so jumpy all of a sudden. "Happy birthday." Clarke jumps when she hears Lexa's voice right next to her ear. She turns her head, only ever so slightly to catch Lexa's gleaming eyes, she didn't look so worried anymore and Clarke wonders if maybe she had imagined the whole episode. That was a thing about Lexa that Clarke still wasn't used to: one second, Clarke could read her like a book, the next, she couldn't. It was a little infuriating but nothing Clarke couldn't deal with. 

 

Clarke frowns at her and Lexa pulls out her phone to show that it was now midnight. Clarke leans forward and places a lingering kiss to Lexa's mouth. When she pulls away Lexa leans forward again, as though to go and try to find Clarke's lips again, her eyes are closed, but she pauses when she feels the obvious distance from Clarke. "Where did your lips go?" Lexa asks and Clarke laughs. 

 

"I wanted my first kiss as a twenty seven year old to be with you." Clarke replies giving Lexa another peck. Lexa grunts in disapproval of being deprived from Clarke's lips for less than a minute. Her eyes flutter open to see Clarke grinning at her then she's being pulled by the blonde out of her seat. "Dance with me." Clarke says, it's not a request, or a question, it's more of a demand, and Lexa finds herself stalling a little. 

 

"Clarke," Lexa says hesitantly leaning closer to her. "I don't dance." She states as they manage to wiggle onto the dance floor. Clarke gives her a look that tells Lexa that she doesn't believe her. 

 

"I know that's not true, I've seen you dance, you're good at it." Clarke says dismissively. 

 

"No, you've seen me  _ slow  _ dance, that's easy, I don't  _ dance  _ dance." Lexa clarifies looking at the nearby people who were swaying easily to the music with sweaty bodies grinding against each other - she just couldn't, she was far too awkward for that kind of dancing. Clarke rolls her eyes and begins dancing anyway despite Lexa's stiff frame. 

 

"Just loosen up Lex." Clarke encourages, she wraps a hand around the back of Lexa, resting it on the small of her back, and encourages the girl to sway her hips along with her rhythm. Lexa does relax at Clarke's words and, soon enough, she's swaying to the beat and letting down her hair a little. Just as Lexa's warming up a more sexual song comes on and soon enough people are practically dry humping on the dance floor. 

 

Lexa feels warm all over and it takes her a moment to realise it's because Clarke has moved closer: they're practically chest to chest, hip to hip, and Lexa leans down to nip at Clarke's neck whenever she can. Lexa's hands wander from Clarke's hips to her ass and, yeah, maybe she was getting a little  _ too  _ into the song but Clarke's moan of approval is enough for Lexa to know that her antics aren't unwelcome. The pair dance like that until the end of the song, all wandering hands, kisses, moans and teeth. Lexa blames the song for her spike in behaviour but she's beginning to think that it's simply Clarke that makes Lexa want to throw down all control and just lose herself which, for someone who always has to be in control, is pretty fucking terrifying. 

 

When the song ends Raven and Octavia find them and drag the breathless couple back to their table. Lexa takes the side of the booth against the wall while Clarke sits beside her, the brunette wraps her arm around Clarke's shoulders and the blonde snuggles into her fiancée's side. " _ Clarke _ ." Raven complains like a five year old child would. Octavia and Raven are sitting across from Lexa and Clarke, Octavia looking like she might pass out and Raven actually looked okay - she normally whined like a five year old anyway, it didn't necessarily mean she was drunk. "Can you go get us some more drinks?" Raven asks with a pout. 

 

Clarke sighs and glances at the busy bar distastefully, she's glad she's not drunk herself and that Lexa isn't but, she doesn't want to walk to the bar unless she absolutely has to. "Please Clarke, you're my best friend." Raven says reading Clarke's hesitance. Clarke sighs, she kind of has to now that Raven has played the best friend card. Clarke goes to stand and Lexa makes to follow but Clarke shakes her head instructing Lexa to keep an eye on Octavia and Raven - though they probably would've been alright on their own but Clarke didn't want to take any chances. Lexa reluctantly agrees watching Clarke nervously as she walks away from her and towards the bar.

 

Clarke reaches the bar with ease, she settles her hands atop the bar's surface and gestures for the bartender. He acknowledges her but gestures that he has other customers waiting and Clarke gives him a polite smile to tell him she could wait. She taps on the surface of the bar, eyeing her ring on her finger, absent minded and pretty much dead to the world. That was until she feels a hand on her back. "Hey beautiful." The voice is deep and husky and Clarke's skin crawls when she realises that that's  _ not Lexa  _ touching her. She immediately backs away from the man and he jumps back, almost startled by Clarke's surprise, he comes up beside her and leans against the bar, facing her, and Clarke steps away slightly, putting a good amount of distance between them. 

 

"What is a girl like you doing at this bar alone?" He asks with what Clarke is assuming is supposed to be a charming smile. Clarke hated drunk guys who thought that they could just come on to anyone, or anything, and have their way with it. Clarke shakes her head no, not wanting to waste any time on him, but he was getting a little grabby, playing with her hair and other areas Clarke really wished he wouldn’t - she had already said no, the guy should just accept that and move on. "Come on, I know you want to." Clarke rolls her eyes at the man's lame attempt and swats his hands away that had reached for her waist. 

 

"No, no I don't." Clarke seethes glaring at the man with disdain. "I'm engaged." Clarke states flashing her ring at the man in the hopes that that would make him back off but he was drunk and, apparently, an insistent drunk. 

 

"They don't have to know." He purrs and Clarke feels herself cringe though the term ‘they’ made Clarke realise that the man was impartial, and he hadn't just assumed that Clarke was engaged to a man, which was kind of admirable - or maybe it was more to do with the man's clear drunkenness. He grabs for her again and Clarke tries to step back but, before she can even attempt to do so, something comes flying out of the corner of her eye and hits the guy square in the jaw, sending him spiralling away from Clarke and landing against the bar with a grunt. Clarke's eyes widen and her heart stops in her chest at the sudden quickness and escalation of it all. 

 

She looks to her left to see Lexa staring at her, wide eyed, though mostly her green orbs seemed to be silently asking if Clarke was okay. It was as though time stood still, both of them in shock at what had just happened, and then, time unfreezes. Lexa is the first to react, it’s small, a twitch of her eyebrows, and then she's shaking her hand and her face morphs into one of pain. " _ Ow, son of a _ -" She curses, shaking her hand and hissing in pain effectively cutting off her words. "Mother of God." She continues cradling her hand to her chest. 

 

"What are you doing?" Clarke asks, reanimating, she takes Lexa's hand and tries to examine it in the low lighting of the bar. "You didn't have to punch him you know?" Clarke asks, despite the situation, she couldn't help but let amusement seep into her words and a small smirk to find its way to her lips. 

 

"Yeah, well, he was touching you...  _ inappropriately _ ." Lexa replies grumpily, a hard frown set on her features. Clarke was about to respond when the man lets out a grunt and moves slightly. 

 

"I can't see shit in here." Clarke says releasing Lexa's hand. She looks back at the man to see him slowly gathering his bearings. "Let's get out of here before he decides he wants to press charges." Clarke says grabbing Lexa's uninjured hand and pulling her through the crowd. They manage to lose the man without much trouble and stumble out of the bar with ease. 

 

It was refreshing to step out into the cool air, rather than the stuffy hot atmosphere of the bar, and it seemed to relax Lexa's wound up tension she was harbouring. Clarke pulls her hand up wordlessly and begins examining, once again, now that the street light provided her with more light than the low ones in the bar had. "You're a lawyer," Clarke says in a disapproving tone. "don't you know the consequences of punching people in bars?" 

 

"He was-" Lexa cuts herself off and breathes out an exasperated breath. "He was being a dick and I didn't like what he was doing." 

 

"Jealous are we?" Clarke teases dropping Lexa's hand. Her knuckles were a little swollen, and would probably bruise, and one had even opened up in a small cut, but she hadn't broken any bones. Lexa huffs, and she pouts like a child, making Clarke smile in both amusement and fondness. 

 

"Yes." Lexa states and it catches Clarke off guard. The blonde stares at her for a long moment, trying to understand Lexa's reasoning, but all she gets in response is a piercing stare from her beautiful green eyes. "Sorry," She mumbles, rubbing the back of her neck and Clarke smiles at the gesture. "I shouldn't be all jealous and possessive but, I didn't like that he was flirting with you, and you were obviously declining his advances." Lexa shakes her head, a scowl on her features that totally enamoured Clarke. "Flirting with you I get, I can respect that you're a beautiful blonde that other people find attractive," Clarke blushes slightly at Lexa's words and tries to hide her flustered cheeks but Lexa notices anyway. "but when he carries on hitting on you, when you clearly said no, and even told him you were engaged, I can't respect anyone who would do that." Lexa says shaking her head, clearly annoyed by the man in the bar. "So he deserved to be punched."

 

"Well your hand isn't broken." Clarke says clearing her throat and swallowing the lump that had formed there - sometimes Lexa said things that she didn't even realised slowly killed Clarke inside. "We should go home so I can fix it." Clarke says and Lexa smiles at the fact that Clarke just called her apartment home. This was real now, her and Clarke, they were getting married, they were together, they lived together, Clarke called Lexa's apartment home which made a warm feeling settle in Lexa's chest. This was real. 

 

"Yeah," Lexa agrees nodding her head. "Let's go home." Clarke smiles softly, missing the importance behind her own words and Lexa's, but Lexa knew. They find themselves a cab and Clarke texts Raven and Octavia to let them know that they were okay and that they had left. They were going home. Lexa wasn't sure if the little alcohol she had ingested was the thing that was warming her or if it was just the thought of Clarke.

 

**//**

When they got back to the apartment it was dark, silent and empty. Lexa switches on the light and heads straight for the couch, sitting down and letting out an audible sigh. Clarke disappears into the kitchen and returns with a bag of frozen peas. Lexa frowns at the bag but takes it anyway, placing it on her slightly swollen knuckles. "I didn't even realise I had frozen peas." Lexa admits quietly and Clarke chuckles sitting on the coffee table. 

 

"Believe me, I was surprised as you were." Clarke says with a playful grin. "I thought I was going to have to strap beer bottles to your hand instead." She jokes and Lexa nods her head returning the playful smile. It was no secret that Lexa wasn't the best at keeping her fridge stocked, as evidenced by Anya buying her groceries, and Lincoln dropping by every so often to make sure Lexa had food, but she couldn't remember ever getting frozen peas - they were probably really old. 

 

It was best to just let the frozen peas bring the swelling down before Clarke reexamined her hand. "So," Clarke says with a smirk and Lexa know that she's about to say something sarcastic or silly. "how's your hand?" The question catches Lexa off guard and she simply shrugs, glancing down at it. 

 

"Hurts." She answers and Clarke rolls her eyes at how incredibly vague Lexa's answer was. 

 

"You punched a guy in the jaw." Clarke reminds her. "You want to tell me how it  _ specifically  _ hurts?" Clarke raises a sarcastic eyebrow and Lexa sighs. 

 

"Just throbbing a little, I don't think I broke anything." Lexa says with a shrug and Clarke nods in understanding. She watches the brunette as she plays absentmindedly with the packet of peas on her hand. Clarke secretly loved that Lexa was so protective of her, she loved the fact that the brunette was there to keep her safe, even if it was out of mild jealousy, which, Clarke had now accepted, it was.  _ Lexa was jealous, that says something right? _ Maybe she wasn't so alone in her feelings, maybe Lexa was just taking her time figuring it out, it just seemed strange that Lexa would physically punch someone out of jealousy if she didn't have strong feelings because Lexa was normally a gentle person. 

 

"I thought you trained in boxing?" Clarke asks after a moment, realising that she had just been staring at her fiancée for a good few minutes while trying to figure out her emotional status. Lexa looks up, her eyebrows knitting together. 

 

"I did." Lexa answers. "But punching someone in a ring, with your hand taped and gloved, is totally different than throwing punches at guys's jaws without any protection." She explains and Clarke could understand that. 

 

"Well maybe you'll learn to not punch guys in bars." Clarke jokes and Lexa smirks in return. 

 

"I'd punch him again if I had to do it all over again." Lexa replies and Clarke feels a fluttering in her chest at the brunette's words. Clarke removes the peas and looks at Lexa's hand again, nodding her head in approval when she sees that the swelling had gone down. 

 

"Do you have a first aid kit?" Clarke asks. 

 

"Clarke, it's literally just one tiny little cut, I think I'll be okay." Lexa says feeling like Clarke was being over dramatic for such a minor injury. Clarke narrows her eyes and Lexa gulps nervously at her expression. 

 

"First of all, who is the doctor here?" Clarke asks rhetorically but Lexa still mutters an unimpressed ‘you’ under her breath. "Secondly, bacteria can get into that  _ tiny  _ cut and you know what, as unlikely as it is, you could get necrotizing fasciitis." Clarke says and, at the look of bewilderment on Lexa's face, Clarke expands. "It's flesh eating bacteria, and very hard to get rid of, so I will get your first aid kit, and I will clean that cut, and put a bandaid over it, or would you prefer for me to not and for you to potentially get a flesh eating bacteria?" Clarke asks with a pointed glare and Lexa swallows thickly before shaking her head - no, flesh eating bacteria didn't sound too good. "That's what I thought." The blonde says. 

 

"Can you really get flesh eating bacteria from a tiny cut?" Lexa asks with a little anxiety and Clarke smiles a little at her. 

 

"It's unlikely but potentially, if that type of bacteria enters through the cut, it’s the same strain that causes strep throat-" 

 

" _ Okay _ ," Lexa interrupts. "you're officially freaking me out and making me into a hypochondriac." She says with a shudder. "Just do your thing Dr Griffin, the first aid kit is in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom." Clarke stands up and Lexa places the frozen peas back onto her hand hoping to relieve some more of her pain while the blonde hunted down the first aid kit. 

 

Sometimes she really hated how rash she made decisions, it wasn't often but it happened from time to time, like the time she ran into the woods without knowing her bearings whatsoever, or that time in high school when she had bought a motorcycle thinking she'd look cool, or that time she had stolen from that store. To be fair, most of her rash decisions had paid off, except for maybe the motorcycle, she'd had some nasty road rash from that experience - she winces from the memory. The point was, Lexa normally wasn't a rash person, except for when she was emotional apparently, the motorcycle had been bought when Lexa had been feeling somewhat down and lonely, the stolen candy from the shop had been because she had felt lonely and wanted her mom to notice her, the running into the woods had been from great upset and betrayal and the punching had been from jealousy - or maybe not, well, she was jealous, she knew that much but, there was something else, the reason as to  _ why  _ she felt so jealous, not only that but the fact that the man had had his hands on Clarke… Lexa grimaces, her hands balling into fists - that had not sat well with her one bit.

 

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Clarke opens the medicine cabinet and spots the little green first aid kit tucked away on the top right of the cabinet. Clarke goes to grab it but stops when she sees a little orange bottle staring at her. She shouldn't snoop, that was highly inappropriate, but she also couldn't ignore the single orange bottle. She plucks it up and reads the label. ‘Alexandria Woods’ is written at the top of the label, ‘Temazepam Tablets’ is just below Lexa's name and ‘Take 1 Tablet Before Sleep’. Clarke knew what the medication was prescribed for she just hadn't realised that Lexa had suffered with sleeping in the past, sure, she woke up early, and Clarke had only ever witnessed one nightmare in the time she had known the brunette, but, usually, she slept like a rock. 

 

Then Clarke notices the date that they had been prescribed - three years ago - and Clarke instantly understood. She notices that the bottle was practically full and Clarke could imagine a very stubborn Lexa refusing to take her medication and suffering through sleepless nights, plagued by grief and the blonde's heart breaks at the thought.  _ Stubborn asshole _ , Clarke mentally mutters because Lexa was just that kind of person. 

 

She places the pills back in their original spot and reaches for the first aid kit, shaking off her weird mood so that Lexa didn't suspect anything. Clarke exits the bathroom and notices Lexa has her eyes closed tightly and Clarke just knows that her hand is bothering her more than she's letting on. The blonde settles back in front of her, sitting on the coffee table, and Lexa's eyes fly open. 

 

Clarke removes the ice again and zips open the first aid kit. She grabs the alcohol wipes and opens one from its packet. "This is probably going to sting a little." Clarke says and Lexa nods. 

 

"I think I can handle it." The brunette replies with a tight smile. Clarke stares into her green eyes, wondering what was going on in her head, before she turns her attention back to the hand. She dabs at the cut with the alcohol wipe and Lexa doesn't even flinch she sits very still watching the blonde carefully. Clarke could feel Lexa's eyes on her, studying her, and Clarke tries to keep herself from blushing at that fact but, Clarke has to admit, it feels pretty good when Lexa looks at her. There's also something different about her gaze, like Lexa's processing or solving something when she looks at her, and it unnerves Clarke a little. 

 

"I think a bandage to help support your wrist might be better than a bandaid." It was an extra precaution which, admittedly, probably didn't need to be taken - Lexa clearly hadn't injured or sprained her wrist but it would still make Clarke feel better. Lexa nods silently and Clarke stops her wiping and grabs the roll of bandages. She begins wrapping her hand and wrist, making sure it was secure and tight, earning her a grunt of pain from the brunette from the pressure, but Clarke was satisfied it would heal up fast enough. 

 

"Alright man of steel," Lexa frowns at the blonde which causes her to chuckle." "you're all fixed up, go ahead and take some pain meds and then we can go to bed." Clarke says feeling her adrenaline wear off which was making her sleepy plus it was about one in the morning and Clarke had had a long day - being twenty seven wasn't any better than being twenty six. 

 

"Okay." Lexa says softly and Clarke looks at her curiously. Lexa looked tired herself, the brunette stands up, grabbing the supplies that Clarke had discarded after use, and heads towards the kitchen to throw them away. 

 

Clarke was about to go put the first aid kit away when a knock at the door signalled that someone was at the door. Clarke turns around and frowns at the door, as though the door would give her an answer as to why it had made such a noise, she then glances at the clock and frowns deeper.  _ Who knocks on someone's door at one in the morning? _ It wasn't Lincoln because he would just enter, Raven didn't have many manners to begin with so she'd probably just walk in too, maybe Octavia although Raven would probably be with the younger Blake and, like Clarke said, Raven would just enter. There's another knock and Clarke's heart rate begins picking up with all the possibilities of who it could be.  _ Perhaps a murderer, ready to kill Clarke the second she opens the door?  _

 

"Hey Clarke!" Lexa yells from the kitchen. "Can you get that? It's probably one of my neighbours." Clarke sighs with relief at Lexa's suggestion. They hadn't been exactly quiet coming into the building, it was possible that someone just wanted to vent about how loud they had been climbing the stairs, or maybe they needed something, but Lexa lived in a good part of town and the chances of it being a murderer were next to none. The blonde tells Lexa that she's got it and heads towards the door. 

 

She pulls it open, ready to apologise for making so much noise, when the person takes a step back at the sudden opening of the door. Clarke completely freezes. It wasn't Lincoln, or Raven, or Octavia, it wasn't even a neighbour, at least, Clarke didn't think so. No, it was a woman, it was  _ Costia _ . The woman had dark brown hair, similar in colour to Raven's, and she had brown eyes, she looked a little different to the pictures that Clarke had seen this morning but people change over time. Other than some small details she looked exactly like the girl that Clarke had seen in photographs and her heart completely stops in her chest. 

 

Clarke gapes at the woman in utter confusion.  _ How was she alive? How was she here? Did she fake her death? Was this the ghost of Lexa's ex lover come back to haunt Clarke for stealing her girl? Oh god, how was she going to tell Lexa? _

 

The woman shifts uncomfortably and gives Clarke a shy smile. "Um, hi." She says awkwardly and Clarke's eyes widen even more. "Sorry, is this Lexa Woods’ apartment?" She asks and Clarke nods her head ever so slightly, still shocked to the core. She snaps her mouth closed and stands up more rigid and alert. "Oh, well judging by your face, you must know my sister." The woman continues and Clarke frowns in confusion. The woman sticks her hand out in greeting, offering it in a handshake gesture. "Hi, I'm Luna, pleased to meet you."

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, relax, deep breath, everything is fine, you know me and this story, there's always minimal angst, there's literally been hardly any, so don't worry. Just to clarify, Luna is Costia's sister and the reason for Lexa not wanting to see Luna is not because they look alike - there's a legitimate reason that'll be explained (I'm curious btw of how many people thought Luna was Costia's sister or who people thought Luna was gonna be?). Anyway, I'm excited for next chapter, I have big plans, and I've been thinking about it before I even started writing this chapter, so I'm excited. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and leave me a comment letting me know your thoughts/feelings :)!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I remember." Lexa whispers. "I remember asking that I die before you." Lexa says looking up. Clarke closes her eyes at the confession, the images of a drunken Lexa slurring her words, desperate for Clarke to understand, pleading for Clarke to understand, and Clarke had agreed only to help ease Lexa's pain. "You agreed." Lexa says gently and Clarke's eyes flutter open to look at the brunette. 
> 
> "What?" Clarke asks. "Have you changed your mind?" Lexa sighs, pouring the bubbly liquid into the two glasses. 
> 
> "No." Lexa states and it feels like Lexa is physically stabbing a knife right through her heart, the words send a shiver down Clarke's spine and she feels her blood boil with anger - it's one thing to say those things drunk but Lexa is stone cold sober.
> 
> Or, Lexa explains herself, Raven and Octavia take Clarke out and Lexa's willing to make an exception for one night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy moley guys, I know y'all said you didn't mind long chapters but this one is the longest one I've written so far (I believe it came to nearly 20k!!!) and this chapter is not PG so bare that in mind. Anyway, I loved writing this chapter, there's some angst but mostly I loved writing the last scene because Clarke and Lexa are so fluffy. Alright, so, I hope you enjoy this chapter and I'll see you at the end ;)

Clarke blinks once, twice, three times, just to be certain that she wasn't dreaming or hallucinating. She gawks at the brunette who just stands there, shuffling on her feet at Clarke's obvious shock. Clarke couldn't believe this was happening, so much was going through her mind but, the main question she had was: why didn't Lexa tell her? The main feeling she had, besides shock, was anger.  _ Did Lexa lie about being over Costia? Is that why she was so reluctant to see Luna? _ Because they looked very much alike and Clarke had a nagging feeling that the reason Lexa didn't want to see Luna was because she was still in love with Costia and all that crap that Lexa had told Clarke was just that:  _ crap _ . 

 

"I'm sorry if this is a bad time." Luna says a little nervously watching as Clarke's face turns from shock to a deep set frown. Clarke looks back at the girl, her vision clearing a little, and her thoughts escaping her. 

 

"No, it's fine, Lexa's just... she's in the kitchen." Clarke says dismissively. "I'm sorry, you're Costia's sister?" Clarke asks. She wanted to be certain, maybe this girl was just a doppelgänger though that was probably just a long shot. Luna turns her head to the side, observing Clarke more closely now. 

 

"You knew her?" Luna asks. Clarke stares for a moment before taking a step back from the door, shoving her hand into her pocket to hide her ring, Luna takes the invitation and steps inside of the apartment, her eyes scanning the room at a fast rate. 

 

Clarke turns to face the brunette, who was standing just barely in the apartment, when Lexa comes back from the kitchen. "Clarke? Who was-" Lexa stops in her tracks when she sees who was standing in her living room. Clarke watches as Lexa's face morphs into one of indifference: her mouth presses into a straight line and her eyes became cold as she looks between Clarke and Luna. "What are  _ you  _ doing here?" Lexa asks, her eyes narrowed, her voice is low, but it's mostly even and void of any emotion, and Clarke can almost see the visible walls that Lexa puts up as soon as her eyes land on Luna. 

 

Clarke felt so stupid, she should've known that Lexa wasn't over Costia. The blonde crosses her arms across her chest, stepping back to give them some space but not letting her eyes leave the pair. "When someone gets punched in my bar, I tend to find out." She replies. Clarke nods her head, Lexa's nervous behaviour at Grounders made sense now, she was worried about bumping into Luna. Clarke feels her anger simmer a little more -  _ or was it jealousy? _ \- Clarke wasn’t entirely sure how she was feeling but she knew it wasn't good. "When someone called me up and told me that someone had been punched by a tall brunette, green eyes, I knew instantly that it was you." 

 

"How do you even know where I live?" Lexa asks, she crosses her arms across her chest in a more authoritative way than what Clarke had and she tucks her injured hand away so that Luna couldn't see the bandage on display. 

 

"You know it's not hard to find out where people live nowadays." Luna points out. "Lexa, I just want to talk-" 

 

"Get out." Lexa deadpans cutting off Luna's sentence before she could even begin. "I mean it, get the hell out of my apartment." Lexa somehow manages to be cool and calm and yet her words are concise and strong, it's almost scary, Lexa's intimidating when she wants to be, and Clarke almost feels like she has this routine down thanks to her profession as a lawyer. 

 

"You know it wasn’t my fault." Lexa shakes her head when she hears Luna's protest. She struts to the door, with strong strides, and opens it wide, glaring daggers at Luna, telling her to ‘get out’ without having to repeat her words. "Lexa, you can't blame me, or at least, you can't blame me forever." 

 

" _ I said _ ," Lexa seethes, closing her eyes. "get  _ out  _ of my apartment." Luna glances at Clarke who was at a loss for words - she's never seen this side of Lexa: the intimidating, strong, commanding, defensive side.  _ She must really still be hung up on Costia.  _

 

"Fine." Luna sighs in exasperation and trudges towards the door. Once she's on the other side, she whirls around and levels a glare at Lexa. "I tried Lexa, you know I di-" Luna doesn't get to finish her sentence because Lexa slams the door in her face, effectively cutting off whatever she was about to say. 

 

The brunette leans against the door and screws her eyes closed, her intimidating exterior crumbles as soon as the door is closed though Clarke's anger was still very much present. She was like a volcano, dormant, but threatening to boil over, she couldn't even place why she was so angry - only that she felt betrayed and lied to. 

 

It's silent for a long time, the atmosphere is thick with tension, Clarke is stewing in her anger while Lexa just seems to look hurt. Clarke takes a deep breath, it's the look in Lexa's eyes that has Clarke choking on her anger, her green eyes are so sad looking, and that just adds more fuel to Clarke's anger because, _why is she so sad?_ _Because Luna is Costia's sister and Lexa’s clearly not over Costia because she never wanted to see Luna?_ That's the only reason that Clarke can think of - especially when it's one in the morning and she's pretty much running on fumes. "What was that?" Clarke asks, voice terse and clipped. Lexa looks up at her and pushes off of the door with a sigh. 

 

"Nothing." Lexa replies and Clarke makes a sound of disbelief. 

 

"You're not going to give me that shit." Clarke says angrily and Lexa stops in her tracks. "Nothing Lexa? Well that sure looked like  _ something  _ and you better tell me right now because I can't believe you'd do something like this." 

 

"Do what?" Lexa asks confused. "I already told you that Luna and I used to be close?" Lexa genuinely sounds confused, as though she doesn't see the big bad picture that she's painted in Clarke's mind. 

 

"Yeah, but you failed to mention that she's Costia's  _ sister _ !" Lexa visually flinches at Clarke's yell and Clarke doesn't know if it's solely because of the raised pitch of her voice or if it has more to do with the fact that she'd just shouted Costia’s name. "And that they look like they're practically twins." Clarke adds. 

 

"I didn't think it was important." Lexa replies shrugging her shoulders. Clarke shakes her head in disbelief and bites her lip in anger. 

 

"Didn't think it was  _ important _ ?" Clarke asks. "You lied to me." 

 

"What are you talking about?" Lexa asks. "I didn't lie about anything, I just didn't tell you that they were sisters." Lexa points out and Clarke fumes because, technically, Lexa was right, she hadn't lied, she'd told Clarke that her and Luna used to be close, which was true, and she had also said that they were also not an ex, which, again, was true, but, still, she should've told Clarke that they were sisters. 

 

"A lie by omission is still a lie Lexa." Clarke retorts. "I can't believe you." 

 

"I don't see what the big deal is?" Lexa says frowning at the blonde. "You're acting like a crazy jealous girlfriend Clarke when there's clearly nothing to be jealous about... or angry about for that matter." Lexa says and Clarke stares at her in utter disbelief - it's not like Lexa just injured her hand punching a guy in the jaw because she was jealous,  _ oh no _ , but  _ Clarke's  _ the one acting like a crazy jealous girlfriend. Clarke was seething and she was not putting up with this at one in the morning. 

 

Lexa watches as Clarke storms into the bedroom, disappearing for a moment and allowing Lexa to breathe a little. She wasn't sure why Clarke was so upset, she hadn't done anything wrong, not really, sure, she had neglected to mention the sisters part but that was it. Lexa's reasoning for not wanting to see Luna ran deeper than the fact that she was Costia's sister and that they looked alike. 

 

The blonde comes out of the bedroom carrying a blanket and pillow, she dumps them on the couch and Lexa looks at her in disbelief - Clarke was just being childish now and Lexa wasn't in the mood to explain anymore. Lexa crosses the room and comes to a stop in front of the blonde, raising her eyebrows in a silent question of  _ ‘What are you doing?’  _ "You're sleeping on the couch." Clarke deadpans. 

 

"I am not sleeping on the couch." Lexa retorts, crossing her arms across her chest. Clarke narrows her eyes at the brunette and Lexa mirrors her expression - they were both as stubborn as each other and Clarke detected a stand off. "It's my apartment, why do  _ I  _ have to sleep on the couch?" Lexa asks, frowning at the blonde. "I didn't even do anything." Clarke scoffs at that and Lexa rolls her eyes at the blonde's stubbornness - she was overreacting. 

 

"How about Luna?" Clarke asks angrily and Lexa stares at her in disbelief. She shakes her head, pinching the bridge of her nose, before focusing back on Clarke. 

 

"She's not an ex, I told you that." Lexa states and Clarke shakes her head in annoyance. 

 

"No, you just failed to mention that she  _ looks  _ like your ex girlfriend." Clarke jabs and Lexa clenches her jaw. 

 

"She's her  _ sister _ !" Lexa seethes throwing her hands up in the air - Clarke was being unreasonable and Lexa felt frustrated beyond belief. "There was never anything between us- Why are you being like this?" Lexa asks and Clarke bites her tongue in anger. 

 

"Why am I being like what?" Clarke asks. "You should've told me! I feel like a total idiot." 

 

"Why?" Lexa asks. Clarke stares at her with a hardened expression and the brunette sighs, sensing that Clarke really was mad at her. 

 

"Why didn't you want to see her?" Clarke asks in a calmer tone though it was still laced with anger and resentment. 

 

"Clarke," Lexa sighs, feeling defeated. "it's late, maybe we can talk about this in the morning?" Lexa suggests. 

 

"I want to know or you sleep on the couch." Clarke replies stubbornly and Lexa groans. She considers it for a moment before moving around the side of the couch and sitting down on it defiantly. Clarke shakes her head at the brunette's decision as Lexa grabs the pillow, that Clarke had dumped there, and lays down against it, pulling the throw over on top of her.  _ This sucked. _

 

Clarke shakes her head again, staring at the brunette on the couch in utter disbelief, before she turns on her heel and slams the door shut. Lexa flinches at the loud bang and throws the blanket off of her, sitting up, she sighs. She couldn't exactly sleep in what she was currently wearing, she couldn't go into her room out of both pride and stubbornness, so her only rational thought was to see if Anya had left any clothes behind when she had stayed. 

 

She stands up, shrugging off her leather jacket and tossing it on the coffee table, and makes her way to the second bedroom. Raven's clothes were all over the place but she hadn't unpacked which meant that if Anya had left anything it would most likely be in the drawers. 

 

The brunette opens the first one and curses under her breath:  _ nothing _ . She continues like that until she finds a piece of clothing tucked right to the back of one of the drawers. Lexa pulls it out and sighs in relief when she sees that it's one of Anya's old college shirts - perfect for sleeping in. She manages to find a pair of shorts and exits the second bedroom pulling what she was currently wearing from her body. 

 

She quickly changes, tossing her clothing carelessly down on the coffee table, and then pauses, sighing deeply as she stares at her bedroom door. She steps towards it and leans against it, hoping to find some indication that Lexa hadn't just wrecked the only good thing that she currently had going for her, but she's met by complete silence. 

 

Lexa felt bad, maybe she hadn’t understood what Clarke had been getting at but she could’ve at least tried to. Lexa just hadn't seen the big deal of telling Clarke that Luna was Costia's sister, sure, they were related and they...  _ and they looked alike. _ Lexa resists the urge to facepalm as everything clicks together in a nice big picture for her to see how dumb she actually was. Clarke saw Costia, Clarke saw Lexa not wanting to see Luna who looked like Costia, Clarke assumed that meant that Lexa was still holding on to her, that she hadn't moved on, that she was still in love with her and Lexa felt like a complete fucking idiot. 

 

She wants to knock on the door and explain to Clarke exactly why she doesn't want to see Luna - it has nothing to do with her resemblance to Lexa's lost love though it does have something to do with her. Lexa contemplates knocking for a moment longer before she shakes her head. It's almost two in the morning and the least she can do is let Clarke be mad at her and hopefully let the blonde sleep it off when the morning comes. 

 

Lexa steps away from the door, with a sigh, and then steps back to the couch, settling back down and closing her eyes. She hates to admit it but she feels awfully cold and a scary thought that she might have forgotten how to sleep alone crosses her mind. Clarke has been in her bed for the last few months, her warmth, her body, a constant, even when they weren't officially together, Lexa still slept next to her and the absence of Clarke is almost startling. 

 

Lexa pulls the blanket tighter around herself, trying to imagine that it was Clarke's arms wrapping around her, providing her with safety and security in her sleep. It's not the same. She misses Clarke, she almost  _ longs  _ for her to be beside her, her heart beats feebly in her chest and Lexa's hit with an overwhelming thought. It's sudden and startling but Lexa knows it to be true, and she wishes she wasn't so stubborn, and that she had Clarke pressed up beside her so that she could whisper her confession into the blonde's ear, because the thing that Lexa never thought would happen for her again already has,  _ it already fucking has _ , and she thinks that maybe she's always felt this way. She loves Clarke. She loves her and she needs to sort this out in the morning. 

 

It takes Lexa another hour to fall asleep - though some of that might be due to the stumbling drunks, Raven and Octavia, that bound through the apartment at half two in the morning, neither seem to notice the Lexa lying on the couch. It takes Lexa an hour to fall asleep in the absence of Clarke when it normally takes her seconds to do so in the presence of her. Lexa knows that she has this well and truly bad.

 

**//**

 

When Lexa wakes it's to incessant tapping on her forehead. She blinks open her eyes groggily and sees Raven only a few inches away from her face. She startles backwards from the brunette, blinking more rapidly, and gives Raven a look of confusion as to why the mechanic was invading so much of her personal space. "I didn't realise I looked that bad." Raven mutters and Lexa just gapes at her baffled by the brunette's behaviour. Raven always has been a little, well, a little weird, Lexa's never known anyone like Raven, she's never had a friend like her either, she's almost always sarcastic, cracks jokes every second she gets but Lexa also know she's incredibly loyal and, admirably, protective, she was a good friend, except Lexa wasn't in the mood for it right now. 

 

"You must have really fucked up if blondie put you on the couch." Raven comments. Lexa sits up, ignoring Raven's comment, and stands up, still a little groggy, and a tad bit grumpy, maybe that's what sleeping without Clarke does to Lexa. She turns to see the bedroom door closed and she frowns to herself. "O's got her." Raven says wrapping an arm around Lexa's neck. "I've got you." Lexa looks at her and gives her a scowl. 

 

"What?" Lexa asks letting only a little irritation seep into her voice. Raven rolls her eyes and begins dragging the girl into the second bedroom. Lexa watches as the girl lays down on one side of the bed and pats for Lexa to come join her on the other. Lexa hesitates for a moment, she wanted to sort this out as soon as possible with her fiancée, but she was with Octavia, doing whatever, and, apparently, Lexa was almost obligated to talk to Raven. 

 

She sighs in exasperation and settles beside Raven on the bed, resting her back against the headboard and crossing her arms across her stomach. "I have a question." Lexa says after a moment. "Why do I get you?" Lexa asks. Raven scoffs, as though that sentence offended her, and she hits Lexa on the shoulder. " _ Ow _ !" Lexa protests but Raven just ignores her and starts speaking over her. 

 

"Excuse you," Raven says in a mock hurt tone. "you should be grateful that you get me." Lexa grumbles, not so sure, as she rubs the shoulder that Raven had hit previously. "O and Clarke have this thing, I don't know, don't ask, and apparently Octavia claimed that I knew you better." Raven shrugs. "So tell me what happened." Raven insist. 

 

Before Lexa can begin explaining exactly why she was on the couch, and not in bed, music begins blasting from the neighbouring bedroom where Octavia and Clarke resided. Lexa's eyebrows shoot up and she looks at Raven in question who just laughs ever so slightly. "Octavia and Clarke have this thing they do." Raven explains. "I think it started in college, it's when they dance it out, you know, shake off their problems,  _ literally _ . I think in college though, you just called that a party." Raven winks and Lexa shakes her head still confused by the concept. "They dance out their problems Lexa, what are you not grasping here?" Raven asks. Lexa rolls her eyes at the mechanic and shrugs, it just didn't seem logical to Lexa, she supposed, but, then again, how people dealt with issues was up to them - plus maybe it was nice to know that Clarke liked to dance off her problems, that might come in handy in the future. 

 

Lexa begins recounting the events of last night, explaining to Raven who Luna was, to Lexa's surprise, Raven listens intently, without interruptions, and Lexa adds that to the list of things Raven's good at:  _ listening _ . Once she's done explaining, the music had stopped half way through her explanation, Raven rewards her with another hit to the shoulder. " _ Ow _ !" Lexa grumps. "Will you please stop hitting me?" Lexa asks in annoyance. 

 

"Will you stop being an idiot?" Raven retorts. "I told you I'd kick your ass if you hurt her." 

 

"Raven," Lexa sighs, accepting that,  _ maybe _ , she did deserve that last hit. "I want to talk to her, to straighten this all out." Raven observes her for a second, taking in Lexa's sincere look. 

 

"What did happen between you and this Luna?" Raven asks. Lexa stiffens completely, her jaw clenches, her eyes grow defensive and her lips press into a thin line. Raven gets it immediately: she doesn't want to talk about it with anyone  _ other  _ than Clarke. "Right," Raven says dismissively and Lexa releases a sigh of relief - it was a little worrying that Raven could read her so well but she figured that's what happened when you made friends with people and she did consider Raven to be a friend. "scratch that, you don't have to tell me." Raven says. 

 

She stands up from the bed and Lexa watches her with curious eyes. "Well, are you going to try and talk to her or are just going to sulk in here like a broody teenager?" Raven asks raising an eyebrow. Lexa huffs, standing up from the bed, and Raven just laughs in amusement - if she had to describe Lexa in one word, it would definitely be broody. 

 

Lexa passes Raven and walks to the bedroom door, she pauses when she feels Raven watching her from the couch in the living room, before she knocks twice on the wooden door. Lexa waits, admittedly, a little impatiently while she hears shuffling from the other side of the door. When it opens, she's greeted by Octavia's intense stare. "Um," Lexa swallows, a little thrown Octavia's menacing eyes, she's a little unnerved if she's honest. "can I talk to Clarke please?" Lexa asks - she feels a little embarrassed by the fact that she's practically locked out of her own bedroom and she has to ask permission to enter and to talk to her fiancée. 

 

Octavia glances behind her for a second then turns back to Lexa with pursed lips. The brunette raises her eyebrows and Octavia doesn't budge from her position. "Yeah," Octavia says a little coldly. "I don't think so." Lexa lets out a huff of irritation and, as Octavia goes to close the door, Lexa stops it with her foot despite her lack of footwear. Octavia looks at her with surprise and Lexa gives her a pleading look. 

 

"Please." She says to Octavia. Mustering the little dignity she has left, she pours her plead into her words and her eyes and she sees Octavia's resolve soften a little. Lexa mentally pats herself on the back, Anya always did say she had the worst puppy dog eyes, and they were only ‘the worst’ because Lexa mostly got her way when she used them. Octavia looks over Lexa's shoulder at Raven who gives her friend a look and a nod of approval. 

 

Octavia's eyes flicker back to Lexa and she sighs. "Fine." Octavia gives in. "You have five minutes." Octavia steps past Lexa and joins Raven by the couch while Lexa enters the bedroom, closing the door firmly behind her. 

 

She sees Clarke lying on the bed, her back turned to Lexa, she's on the wrong side of the bed, she's on Lexa's side of the bed, and Lexa swallows hard at the satisfying feeling it gives her in her stomach - she liked to think that maybe Clarke did that purposely, in the hopes of feeling closer to her, that maybe Clarke had felt the same absence as Lexa had last night. 

 

Lexa approaches the bed slowly and pauses. Clarke doesn't bother to turn around to face her so Lexa does what she does best and climbs onto the bed beside Clarke, leaning on her side and resting the side of her head in the palm of her hand that was propped up on her elbow. "Clarke." Lexa says quietly. The blonde doesn't reply and Lexa watches idly as Clarke takes a few deep breathes - if Lexa didn't know any better, she'd assume that Clarke was sleeping but she does know better. 

 

Lexa raises her free hand and hesitates for a moment as she reaches towards the blonde, her hand lingers momentarily before she places it on Clarke's hip. "I'm sorry." Lexa whispers her hand gently caressing Clarke's hip. The blonde lets out a shaky breath and Lexa watches her own hand instead of the blonde. "Clarke." Lexa says again - she's silently asking the blonde to look at her without having to actually physically say the words. Clarke rolls onto her back, forcing Lexa to remove her hand, and she lets out a loud sigh. 

 

"It's not fair." Clarke states. Lexa remains silent as the blonde stares straight up at the ceiling. "You can't just- You say like four words and I already feel myself forgiving you." Clarke huffs. "It's not fair." She repeats. Lexa smiles ever so slightly when Clarke's blue eyes meet her green ones and she gently brushes strands of golden hair from Clarke’s face and Clarke nuzzles into the touch. 

 

"You don't have to." Lexa says. "I was a total jerk to you last night, I'm sorry." 

 

"You already said that." Clarke says. There's a silence that follows the words and Lexa takes a deep breath to calm herself and prepare to tell Clarke what she should have told her before. 

 

"Luna is complicated." Lexa says. 

 

"Lexa, you don't-" Clarke begins but Lexa shushes her with a look of determination. 

 

"I want to." Lexa states and Clarke just nods not sure what else she should do or say. "Yes, she's Costia's sister, and yes, they bare a similar resemblance, but I didn't- that's not why I didn't want to see her and I'm sorry that I never told you that information." Clarke watches Lexa carefully, she's relieved to hear that that's not the reasoning behind Lexa not wanting to see Luna, but it confused Clarke as to what the real reasoning is. 

 

"Look," Lexa isn't meeting Clarke's eyes, which worries the blonde slightly, and the girl is running her fingers nervously over Clarke's hip, tickling her skin there. "I told you that Costia's family didn't support her being with me but Luna was like Costia, she was supportive, and I was thankful that we had at least one ally in the family, it made things easier, and Luna was actually a good friend of mine." Lexa pauses and Clarke frowns. 

 

"So what happened?" Clarke asks carefully. 

 

"When she died, I told you that they practically told me to go to hell-" 

 

"And I said I'd follow you there." Clarke recalls and Lexa smiles at that statement, smiling happily, before returning to her stoic mask. 

 

"Her family banned me from attending her funeral." Lexa confesses. "I wasn't allowed at the service and they made sure of it." Clarke's heart breaks in her chest for the woman beside her. She couldn’t even imagine not getting to say goodbye to Finn, the thought alone churned her stomach unpleasantly, being deprived of a goodbye is probably one of the worst things that someone could do.  

 

"Lexa." Clarke turns and cups Lexa's cheeks in her hands, running her thumbs gently over the brunette's soft skin there. "I'm so sorry." 

 

"Luna was my ally and she turned on me." Lexa continues. "She could've convinced them but she said nothing, she blamed me which, I get it, she was grieving, but I was too, and I wasn't allowed to say goodbye." Lexa shakes her head at the memory. "I showed up anyway, at the burial, they couldn't stop me from attending that, I got my goodbye but, that was when they told me that I’d go to hell and that it was my fault that she had died." Lexa closes her eyes.  _ She would not cry, she would not cry, she would not cry. _

 

So that was why Lexa didn't want to see Luna, not because she was still in love with Costia, or because Luna reminded her of Costia, but because the woman had deprived Lexa of her goodbye, turned on her, with no real reason, and pretty much made Lexa feel shittier than she probably already had. Clarke leans up and places a soft kiss to Lexa's lips, sighing with content when she feels the brunette wrap her arm around her waist and pull her close to her. Clarke had missed Lexa all last night, and she'd slept pretty terribly without the brunette next to her, so the feeling of Lexa now, pressing her plump lips to Clarke's while her hands slid under fabric, was intoxicating and Clarke couldn't get enough of it. 

 

The soft kiss turns heated pretty quickly and Lexa's overcome with a feeling of urgency. She deepens the kiss instinctively, satisfied when she hears a long moan from Clarke, and she shifts so that she pushes Clarke down into the mattress and assumes a position above her fiancée. Clarke's hands reach to Lexa's hips, running up Lexa's toned lower back, across her sides and up them with a grace that leaves goosebumps in their wake. Lexa shudders and presses harder to Clarke, she's pretty sure she'll need at least five cold showers after this make out session but, she also has a feeling that maybe it's heading somewhere. 

 

Lexa stops herself before she can start doing anything really exciting and Clarke grunts in disapproval when she feels Lexa's lips detach from her own. "Hey," Lexa says with a smirk. "I have an idea." She stands up from the bed and Clarke watches her with confusion, curiosity, and a little annoyance at the fact that she had interrupted their make out session, as Lexa steps to the stereo that Clarke had been playing music through only a few minutes prior to this moment. 

 

Lexa attaches her phone using one of the cables and opens up YouTube so that she can find a song more easily. She clicks on the song and looks at Clarke, who was sitting up on the bed watching her curiously, Lexa smiles and makes sure her stereo is turned up as loud as she dares it to. When the song starts playing Lexa places her phone on top of the stereo and turns to face Clarke who's smiling brightly at Lexa's choice of song. Lexa pulls Clarke up from the bed. "What are you doing?" Clarke asks as Lexa gently runs her hands down Clarke's arms and loops them around her neck. 

 

"We're dancing it out?" Lexa says as though that should be obvious. Clarke laughs smiling up at the woman in front of her. Lexa's hands trail down Clarke's sides and the pair listen to the lyrics of the song carefully. _ ‘How to be brave, how can I love, when I'm, afraid,’ _ Lexa's hands rest on Clarke's hips as they stare into one another's eyes - they're not even dancing they're just holding each other.  _ ‘to fall, but watching you stand alone,’ _ Lexa moves her right hand to the small of Clarke's back.  _ ‘all of my doubt, suddenly goes away somehow.’ _ Clarke smiles at the lyrics and unwraps her arms from Lexa's neck, taking Lexa's hand that wasn't resting on her back and placing the other on her shoulder. 

 

_ ‘One step closer.’  _

 

The pair begin dancing around the room in perfect sync, Clarke's laughing as they do so, which mixes beautifully with the music, and Lexa's smiling so hard she fears her mouth might get stuck that way. The pair are laughing, and dancing, and Lexa's never felt more liberated by dancing than she has right in this moment, dancing to a ‘Thousand Years’.

 

As the chorus comes to a close, Lexa releases Clarke and spins her around so that Clarke's back is pressed to her front, she wraps her arms around Clarke's waist and leans her chin on her shoulder while Clarke arches into Lexa's warmth, happy to rock from side to side. _ ‘Beauty and all she is.’ _ Lexa places a kiss to Clarke's neck, nuzzling into it with an affection that has Clarke's heart racing a mile a minute.  _ ‘I will be brave, I will not let anything, take, away, what's standing in front, of me.’ _ Lexa stretches out her bandaged hand and Clarke's laughing again because of the irony behind the lyric. Lexa twirls Clarke around and brings them face to face again. 

 

_ ‘I have died everyday, waiting for you.’ _

 

Lexa picks Clarke up effortlessly, despite her bandaged hand, but, like Clarke said, that probably hadn't been necessary, and Clarke's eyes widen as the brunette twirls them around. She places Clarke down on the bed, on her back, and Clarke wraps her legs around Lexa's waist as the music comes to a close. 

 

_ ‘I have died everyday waiting for you, darling don't be afraid, I have loved you, for a thousand years, I love you for a thousand more.’  _

 

Lexa leans down and kisses Clarke with uncensored passion, trying to convey every feeling she holds for the blonde into that one kiss, Clarke responds with equal force, pulling Lexa closer and biting at the brunette's bottom lip. 

 

When the music eventually cuts out the pair break away, panting for air, and Lexa just grins down at Clarke with the most dopiest look that Clarke's ever seen on the lawyer's face. Clarke giggles and trails her finger over Lexa's exposed collar bone thanks to the angle that she was at. "Apology accepted." She says and Lexa laughs at that - she's still a little breathless from the kissing and the dancing, but mostly the kissing, and Clarke marvels at the beauty above her. Lexa is unfairly beautiful. 

 

"I think we found our wedding song." Lexa comments and Clarke nods her head before giving Lexa a look. 

 

"It's a little cliche though don't you think?" Clarke asks but she doesn't care, in her opinion, the song describes her feelings for Lexa almost eerily perfectly. Lexa seems to consider Clarke's words, still hovering above her, her eyebrows are knitted together in that adorable way and she's smiling, lopsided, with the smile that Clarke has dubbed ‘the Lexa smile’. 

 

"I'm a walking talking cliche so..." Lexa shrugs and Clarke shakes her head in amusement. Lexa kind of was a romantic sap - though she'd certainly deny it if it was anyone other than Clarke who said it. What ensues is some pretty intense staring, Clarke feels like Lexa might just be staring into her soul and the brunette draws impossibly close to her, brushing her lips over Clarke's, her eyes fluttering closed, and Clarke can do nothing more but breathe irregularly and melt into a puddle. 

 

"Clarke I-" Lexa stops, pulling back, and Clarke opens her eyes to look up at the brunette, bringing her hand up to trace Lexa's jaw. "I l-" Whatever Lexa was about to say gets cut off when someone barges into the room. The brunette is up off of Clarke in seconds and Clarke feels like she might just kill whoever just interrupted them. 

 

"I was going to say your five minutes are up but I see you're both clearly getting along very well." Octavia says with a smirk. Raven's head appears above Octavia's and she's smiling wide at the couple. 

 

"I hate you both." Clarke states, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at them. Octavia and Raven burst into laughter and leave the bedroom doorway. Clarke looks at Lexa who unplugs her phone from the stereo and places it on her nightstand, plugging it in to charge since she hadn't been able to last night. "You were saying something?" Clarke asks curiously. Lexa shakes her head, offering a weak smile to Clarke who frowns at the brunette. 

 

"I was just going to say happy birthday." Lexa says and Clarke feels her chest deflate. Clarke nods her head and thanks her fiancée anyway despite her disappointment. "Wait here." Lexa orders. "I have a surprise for you." Clarke raises her eyebrows and the brunette nods her head, giving Clarke a serious look, she leans down, pecks Clarke on the forehead and then she exits the bedroom hearing Clarke let out a loud sigh as she closes the door. 

 

"Hey stud." Raven greets as she exits. Lexa rolls her eyes at the mechanic - she isn't sure when Raven started calling her that but she thinks it's a pretty stupid nickname considering she's the complete opposite of a stud. 

 

"You two need to make yourselves scarce tonight, is that okay?" Lexa asks though she wouldn't take any answer other than yes. Raven and Octavia look at each other and Lexa internally groans - she really walked into that one. Octavia grins and Raven gives her a knowing look. 

 

"We can stay at Lincoln's right?" Octavia asks. Lexa looks at the girl with a knowing smile, she knew Octavia clearly had a thing for Lincoln, that much was clearly obvious, and Lexa thought it was cute - plus Lincoln seemed to have a thing for Octavia also. 

 

"I don't know, I’ll check with him, I have a surprise anyway, for Clarke." Lexa replies. 

 

"I bet you do." Raven says with a teasing grin and in a tone of voice that Lexa can only describe as ridiculous. Lexa doesn't dignify that with a response and exits the apartment, making sure to take her keys because she had a feeling that, with Clarke in the bedroom and Raven and Octavia in the living room, should she get locked out, she'd probably be stranded, because Octavia and Raven were both trouble - though Lincoln did have his own so maybe she wouldn't be totally stranded. 

 

She enters her friend's apartment using her own key and is hit with the scent of coffee and immediately Lexa wants one but she has a purpose for visiting her (practically) brother and that's because she'd entrusted him with the birthday cake. Lexa finds Lincoln in the kitchen, reading some kind of medical notebook, as soon as he sees Lexa, he drops the book and gives her a broad goofy smile. "Hey stranger." He teases, standing up and wrapping Lexa in a bear hug. Lexa returns the hug, despite the fact that it really hadn't been that long since she'd last seen Lincoln, but it was nice to know that she had been missed. 

 

Lincoln knows exactly why Lexa's here and retrieves the cake for her, placing it on the kitchen counter. "Thanks for doing this for me Linc." Lexa says with a grateful smile and he nods his head. 

 

"Of course." He says with a shrug. "So do you need any candles?" He asks. Lexa looks up at him and gives him a look. 

 

"No, I have some." Lexa replies, narrowing her eyes at him when he grins at her. 

 

"Of course you do." He retorts. 

 

"Shut up." Lexa shoves him and Lincoln just laughs. Anya and Lincoln both gave Lexa an intervention for her ‘candle addiction’ but Lexa's pretty sure you can't have an addiction to candles so Anya and Lincoln can both suck it - there's nothing wrong with liking different scented, different looking, dimly lighting, candles. 

 

"So I have a favour to ask." Lexa begins and Lincoln gestures for her to continue. "I was wondering if Octavia and Raven could maybe stay here tonight?" Lexa asks a little sheepishly. The grin that spreads across Lincoln's face draws a groan from the brunette because he'd connected the dots straight away. 

 

"As long as you’re safe." He says putting on a serious look but Lexa can see the smile of amusement tugging at his lips. 

 

"Oh my god." Lexa picks up the cake, blushing furiously at Lincoln's words, and Lincoln just laughs at Lexa's flustered movements. "I hate you." Lexa gambles. 

 

"That's hurtful Lex, especially when I'm letting two people I barely know stay in my apartment so you can get laid." He throws back. 

 

"Lincoln, I swear to god." Lexa threatens. Lincoln just laughs and stands up to follow Lexa out of the kitchen. "You want to see Octavia anyway, so don't give me that whole ‘I'm doing this for you’ shit, you're doing this for yourself too." 

 

"I'm offended that you think so little of me." Lincoln responds holding the door open for Lexa. He follows her across the hall and Lexa gets the sense that the big guy was going to stay for a little while which was nice of him but Lincoln's always been kind. Lexa just rolls her eyes and Lincoln unlocks her door and opens it for Lexa who steps inside. 

 

She passes Octavia and Raven, who were still lounging on the couch, and heads straight for the kitchen while Lincoln greets Clarke's friends. Lexa busies herself with placing candles on the cake when she feels the presence of someone hovering in the doorway. She turns to see Raven leaning against the doorframe, her arms crossed across her chest and she's wearing, what Lexa has decided is, the Raven Reyes red jacket. "Is there something I can help you with?" Lexa asks. Raven shakes her head but continues to observe Lexa. 

 

Lexa just shakes off the weird encounter and locates the lighter she had tucked away in one of the kitchen drawers so that she can light the candles on the cake. "Can I ask for another favour other than you staying at Lincoln's tonight?" Lexa asks turning around to face Raven. The mechanic nods her head and Lexa sighs. "Can you take Clarke out today and bring her back around five or six?" Lexa asks. 

 

"What for?" Raven asks a little suspiciously. 

 

"I have something planned." Lexa answers. 

 

"Look, Lexa, Clarke really likes you okay? And I don't know what happened last night but, you guys are... you're good for each other, and-" 

 

"I love her Raven." Lexa interrupts, the words fall from Lexa's mouth in a rush, like she had been dying to confide them in someone before they suffocated her. Raven shushes immediately, she tells herself that this is good that Lexa feels the same way, she's finally caught up to her feelings, but that thought only comforts her for a second before she takes in Lexa's appearance: she's a little pale, and she's sweating lightly, as though she's panicking, and Raven sincerely hopes the girl doesn't just spontaneously combust from panic. 

 

"Have you told her that?" Raven asks raising an eyebrow though her answer is pretty clear - plus Clarke had told Raven that Lexa hadn't said such things. 

 

"No." Lexa admits. "I want... I  _ need  _ it to be perfect. I just- can you keep her busy until six?" Lexa asks. Raven takes a moment, they had a thing that they did anyway, every year, so keeping Clarke busy until then wouldn't be that much of a problem. Raven nods in response and offers Lexa a comforting smile. "Good," Lexa sighs. "but please don't let her fill up before you bring her home." That gives Raven an idea to what Lexa was planning and she grins at the brunette. 

 

"Oh, I don't know." Raven says making a grimace with her face. "Clarke really loves her food, she might hurt me if I don't feed her." Raven's joking, obviously, kind of, though there was that incident in high school when Raven had refused to give Clarke some of her muffin, after the girl had missed breakfast, and the blonde had practically tackled her to the ground for the thing. It sounded doable though and, considering what was probably going to happen tonight, Raven was okay with it - she just hoped Lexa didn't say the three words in a way that would make Clarke question it because if there's anything Clarke does it's over analyse and make herself worry. 

 

Lexa gestures for Raven to go retrieve the blonde and the mechanic exits the kitchen and drags Clarke out of the bedroom. When Lexa comes out of the kitchen holding a cake, and Raven bursts into a horribly loud version of happy birthday, joined by Octavia, Lincoln and Lexa, Clarke feels her eyes watering. She couldn't be happier, surrounded by the people that she loved, that was all she needed. 

 

Lexa stops in front of Clarke as Raven leads her friends into a chorus of cheers. When it silences again, Lexa holds Clarke's gaze and gives her a soft smile. "Make a wish beautiful." Lexa instructs. Clarke looks from the candles to Lexa, truthfully, she didn't know what to wish for, it seemed she had everything she's ever really wanted: a job, a soon to be wife, love, happiness, Clarke's happy, she's content, though something is missing and that's a  _ family _ . 

 

Clarke doesn't mean her obvious family, she has plenty of that with Raven and Octavia as her annoying sisters, and Lexa with her caring nature, even Anya and Lincoln Clarke thought of as adopted siblings, but she meant  _ family  _ and, without even really meaning to, her mind thinks of a small baby, with green eyes and curly chestnut hair, or blue eyes and blonde hair, and Lexa holding them in her arms, and Clarke wants that,  _ oh how she wants that _ , so that's what she wishes for. She's not asking for it right now but hope for it sometime in the future can't hurt though she would have to ask Lexa on her position of having kids at some point. 

 

Once all the candles are blown out, Clarke grins up at Lexa and the brunette smiles back at her while Raven cheers in celebration. "What did you wish for?" Lexa asks curiously and Clarke gives her a reserved look. 

 

"I can't tell you that," Clarke says in a mock serious tone. "otherwise it won't come true." Clarke points out and Lexa chuckles. 

 

"Right." Lexa agrees with a small smile. Clarke leans up and kisses the corner of Lexa's mouth, effectively widening the smile that was already there. 

 

"Cake for breakfast?" Raven asks interrupting the couple's moment. "You keep getting better and better Woods." Raven comments and Lexa laughs disappearing into the kitchen to go cut the cake. Clarke settles down on the couch between Octavia and Raven, giving Lincoln a warm smile from where he was sitting on the armrest beside Octavia. He returns the smile with one of his own and Clarke can't help but think that Lincoln is a really good guy - he obviously cares for Lexa and he's been nothing but welcoming to Clarke and her slightly annoying friends. 

 

"Are you ready for today Griff Griff?" Raven asks curiously, interrupting Clarke's thoughts. Clarke gives her a look of confusion and the mechanic rolls her eyes. "It's your birthday, we have a tradition that we do every year,  _ remember _ ?" Raven asks and Clarke snorts at her. Their ‘tradition’ was a huge breakfast somewhere, a trip to the movies, some kind of activity, usually bowling, and then they got really drunk and pretty much ended up regretting every choice they made the next morning. Clarke still remembered that one birthday when she had woken up beside Raven in bed, handcuffed and with a killer headache. Raven had laughed hysterically at the blonde and, after they had searched for the keys to the handcuffs, Raven had had to pick lock them - Clarke still didn't know how she ended up in handcuffs, for all she knows she might be the most wanted in some random state that she can't remember visiting. 

 

"What about Lexa?" Clarke asks curiously. Traditionally, it was only Octavia and Raven who Clarke went out with but the thought of not seeing Lexa all day gave Clarke a nervous feeling in her gut. 

 

"Lexa's not invited." Raven responds. "I'm sure you guys can deal being away from each other for a few hours." She adds though Clarke wasn't convinced. 

 

"I'm fine with it." Clarke almost jumps when she hears the familiar voice from where she was leaning against the doorway of the kitchen. "I understand the value of tradition and I think it's important for you to spend time with your friends." Lexa explains. She gives Clarke a smile of reassurance and Clarke's heart swells at the sight. Lexa was so understanding, sometimes Clarke felt like she understood her better than Clarke even understood herself, even with the slightest of things, Lexa just  _ got  _ her and the thought was comforting. 

 

Clarke agrees, majorly because she had missed Raven and Octavia's company, plus she'd see Lexa later, she could cope, like Raven said, a few hours without her fiancée. Once everyone's had a slice of cake and dressed and ready it's about eleven o'clock and Clarke argues with Raven that they technically aren't having breakfast anymore but the mechanic insists that she wants her waffles. "Are you going to be okay?" Clarke asks, pausing before they leave. 

 

"I'll be fine, I have Lincoln, I'll force him to feed me if that's what you're worried about." Lexa says lightly. Clarke gives her another reluctant look and the brunette just smiles and kisses Clarke on the lips to reassure her. "You'll get your present from me tonight." Lexa whispers into her ear and Clarke fees a shiver down her spine at the suggestiveness of Lexa's tone. 

 

"I look forward to that." Clarke replies just as seductively.

 

"Clarke, hurry your ass up!" Octavia yells from the hallway where they were stood waiting. 

 

"Yeah Griffin, I want my damn waffles." Raven huffs. Clarke flips them off as she pulls Lexa in for another kiss but she barely gets to enjoy it as Lexa chuckles into the kiss. 

 

"Go." Lexa instructs turning Clarke around and gently leading her towards the door. "Have fun, I'll be here waiting for when you get back." Lexa says and Clarke steps out of the door, nodding her head. She says one last goodbye before Lexa closes the door and Clarke turns to face her two best friends. Both Octavia and Raven are giving her smug looks and Clarke rolls her eyes, shoving past them. 

 

"Shut up." Clarke mumbles as she walks past them. Raven and Octavia look at each other with wide grins and follow after Clarke swiftly. 

 

"We never said anything." Octavia points out. 

 

"I could hear your smugness from a mile away." Clarke retorts. The two laugh at the blonde and when they exit the apartment building Octavia hooks her arm through Clarke's right arm while Raven takes her left arm. Clarke smiles at the action and tugs her friends close to her side. They take up pretty much the whole sidewalk in that formation but Clarke can't bring herself to care - she likes being reunited with both of her friends. 

 

"We're off to see if the wizard can find Octavia a brain." Raven murmurs sarcastically joking about the formation that they had taken which, Clarke had to admit, did remind her vaguely of the Wizard of Oz. Unfortunately for Raven, she hadn't muttered the words quietly enough and Clarke bursts out laughing as Octavia hears. The younger Blake releases Clarke momentarily to smack Raven on the back of the head. 

 

" _ Hey _ !" She protests before taking Clarke's arm back. Clarke just laughs at her friends, happy that she was spending her birthday with the two people who had been there for her since she could remember, if there's anything Clarke's sure of, it’s that she loves these two idiots hanging off of her arms.

 

**//**

 

Raven leads them to a diner that she had found out about thanks to Lexa. It wasn't necessarily busy, nor was it deserted, but Clarke assumed that had more to do with the time of day than anything else. They settled into a booth and made conversation about different things until the waitress comes over to take their order. Raven orders her waffles straight away and Octavia orders for Clarke, stating that the blonde loved birthday pancakes, and, yeah, maybe she did love a good stack of pancakes and Octavia orders for herself while she’s at it. 

 

The waitress's eyes glance down for a moment and she catches a glance at the ring on Clarke's finger, her face lights up at the sight and Clarke tries to keep the confused look off of her face. "Wow, you're engaged." The woman says excitedly. "I got engaged last night." She reveals. 

 

"Congratulations." Clarke replies with a polite smile. 

 

"So I bet the guy's really lucky." She comments. Octavia and Raven snort and snicker at that statement and Clarke throws them a death glare to shut up which just makes them laugh harder. 

 

"Actually," Clarke says. "more like a lucky girl." Clarke corrects. The woman looks at Clarke with surprise for a second before it’s replaced with a bright smile. 

 

"Even better." She says. "I'll go grab your food." She says walking away. Raven chuckles and Octavia nudges her with her elbow. Clarke looks at them with a glare and Raven looks around before focusing on Clarke. 

 

"Dude, she was totally flirting with you." Raven says. 

 

"What?" Clarke asks in disbelief. "No way, she said she was engaged last night." 

 

"I didn't see any ring." Octavia interrupts. Clarke rolls her eyes, not believing her two best friends, the woman was simply being friendly, plus not everyone that got engaged got rings, it didn't mean she was lying, plus who uses ‘I just got engaged last night’ as a pick up line? Clarke's pretty certain her two friends are both just trying to tease her more than anything. 

 

"So, what did you wish for?" Raven asks. "And don't give me that bullshit of ‘you can't tell me’ because we both know you don't believe that." Clarke bites her lip because Raven was right, every birthday she's had she's told Raven what she's wished for, even when she was, arguably, too old to keep making wishes, but whatever. Clarke sighs and plays with her shirt that she was wearing, shrugging her shoulders innocently. Raven and Octavia both narrow their eyes at the blonde who feels herself caving in at their intense glares. 

 

"Fine, I wished that someday, in the future, that, maybe, Lexa and I would be a family, have a family." Clarke says thinking about their moment in bed when Lexa had told Clarke that they  _ were  _ family and that she'd always choose Clarke if it came down to it. 

 

"Shit Griffin." Raven whistles looking at Octavia who was just as shocked by Clarke's confession. 

 

"I didn't know you felt that way." Octavia says gently and, despite Octavia's tough guy personality, she's always been the more understanding and gentlest of the group, it's one of the reasons that Clarke goes to her for comfort, though she would just as much go to Raven, only Raven is the one who usually supplies the cruel mocking jokes and a shoulder to cry on, Octavia listened and, sometimes, threatened. She had a great support system and she loved those two dorks more than she loved a lot of things. They were family. 

 

"Yeah, well." Clarke shrugs her shoulders. "I love her." Clarke mumbles. The table goes silent when the waitress returns with their food and drinks setting them in front of each other. Clarke stares at her pile of pancakes and Octavia and Raven exchange looks. 

 

"What's wrong Clarke?" Raven asks softly. Clarke sighs, shaking her head, and then shrugging again. 

 

"What if she doesn't love me back?" Clarke asks. "What if this is all one sided? What if she doesn't want a family? What if-" 

 

"Woah." Raven interrupts calmly - gently. "Clarke, relax, you'll cross that bridge when you get there, you shouldn't be worrying about this stuff." Raven reassures and Octavia nods in agreement. 

 

"I mean, I think you should tell Lexa how you feel but, you don't need all the answers right now. Things will just work out how they're supposed to work out." Octavia says with a comforting smile. "For what it's worth, Lexa seems like the kid type." Clarke smiles at that, instantly perking up with the memory of seeing Lexa with the boy at the hospital, and when Clarke had visited to sing songs for the kids Lexa had been so good with them, so motherly, Octavia was right. 

 

"See, there we go, there's that smile we know and love." Raven says and Clarke laughs sitting up in her seat and facing her friends fully. 

 

"Okay, yeah, you're right." Clarke nods her head firmly. "Whatever happens, happens, and I just need to accept it." 

 

"Happy birthday weirdo." Raven says with an affectionate smile and Clarke laughs. 

 

"Yeah, happy birthday weirdo." Octavia agrees. Raven reaches into her pocket and Clarke watches her, suspicious, as she pulls a single candle from it. She proceeds to stick the candle in the top of Clarke's stack of pancakes and Clarke just watches in amusement because it's  _ so  _ Raven to do something like this. She lights the candle and gestures for Clarke to blow it out. 

 

"Make another wish." Raven says and Clarke stares at the flame. 

 

"I can't." Clarke says shaking her head. "I already have everything I want, I have you guys, I have Lexa, I'm happy." Clarke admits. 

 

"Then wish for nothing to change." Raven replies. Clarke looks back at the candle, staring at it as though it had personally offended her, she closes her eyes and then blows out the candle. She plucks it from her stack of pancakes and tosses it aside, smiling at her two best friends. 

 

"I love you two." She says before digging into her food. Raven and Octavia just smile at each other, mentally high fiving each other because this was Clarke they knew and loved. She was here and she was happy.

 

**//**

 

The movie they go to see is Ghostbusters and Raven doesn't shut up talking about Jillian Holtzmann who, admittedly, is probably Clarke's new celebrity crush - she’d probably be Lexa’s too, considering she had a thing for blonde’s supposedly. They manage to keep themselves busy, exploring Arkadia, until, eventually, they find a bowling alley at around four o'clock. 

 

The bowling alley is quite empty but the girls don't mind, so long as it has pins, balls and an alley, they would bowl in the street of it if they could. "I'm just saying, I’m totally the Jillian Holtzmann of our group, come on." Raven says picking up a ball. "I'm totally the tech geek here." Octavia and Clarke exchange glances. 

 

"Yeah, okay, fine, you’re the tech geek." Clarke relents and Raven makes a mini fist of celebration. She steps up to the alley and begins lining up her shot, leaving Octavia and Clarke to talk. "So," Clarke says with a smile and Octavia looks at her curiously. "what's the deal with you and Lincoln?" Clarke asks. Octavia scoffs, making a face of indifference, but Clarke can see right through it - she knows that Lincoln is interested in Octavia, just like Octavia is interested in Lincoln. 

 

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Octavia says averting her gaze from Clarke. 

 

"Oh really?" Clarke asks prodding Octavia on the side. "So you don't think he's  _ hunky _ ?" Clarke teases, poking Octavia in the side and making the younger girl giggle at the feeling.

 

"Shut up." Octavia says, pushing her away playfully. "He's certainly easy on the eyes." Octavia mumbles and Clarke laughs at her friend. They focus back on Raven, who was still lining up her shot, and they both sigh as Raven swings back and tosses the ball. It glides down the slippery surface with ease and hits the pins right in the centre earning her a strike. Raven throws her arms up in the air and turns to face her friends with a wide grin. 

 

" _ Boom _ ! Strike bitches!" She yells and Octavia and Clarke would be embarrassed if there were more people around them but, mostly, they just find it extremely hilarious. Clarke wants to claim that it's not fair, that Raven used her superior knowledge in physics and science to apply it to bowling so that she wouldn't miss her target, but Raven wouldn’t care either way. Octavia rolls her eyes and stands up, heading towards the rack of balls to pick up her own for her turn. 

 

Raven takes Octavia's seat, settling beside Clarke who gives her friend a curious look. She's asked Octavia about Lincoln, it was only fair she asked Raven about Anya. "So what's up with you and Anya?" Clarke asks. "Is there something going on there?" Clarke raises a blonde eyebrow and Raven turns to face her with a small frown on her face. 

 

"Anya?" Raven asks. "No, I don't think so." Except the pinking of Raven's cheeks, and the way she rubs her wrist, says otherwise - Clarke knows all of Raven's tells and she's so very clearly lying or hiding something. 

 

"Hm." Clarke says suspiciously. She pauses when she hears Octavia curse and the blonde laughs when she sees that the brunette hadn't achieved a strike on her first bowl. "See Lexa seems to think Anya likes you." Raven gapes at Clarke in disbelief and the blonde just simply smirks, shrugging her shoulders in response. Raven narrows her eyes, not believing Clarke for a second, but, then again, Clarke wasn't one to lie. 

 

" _ Woo _ !" Octavia yells when she achieves a spare. "Suck on that Griffin!" Clarke groans knowing she's probably going to lose because, honestly, her bowling skills suck, and, between Octavia, who is probably the most competitive person Clarke knows, and Raven, the smartest person that Clarke knows, she didn’t really have much of a upper hand. Raven grins at the blonde and Clarke gives her a look that says ‘we're not done talking about this’ before she stands and takes a ball from the stand. Octavia gives her an encouraging pat on the shoulder before the brunette takes her seat and leaves Clarke alone. 

 

Clarke sighs and steps up to the line on the alley where you're supposed to take the shot from. Clarke won't lie, there was a moment she thought about using the metal contraptions that the children use to bowl, but that would just add to her embarrassment, which was something that she didn't want to do. She takes a deep breath, focuses on the pin at the end of the alley, lines up her shot, takes a few steps back, then runs up and releases the ball. The ball soars down the slippery surface of the alley and, for a moment, Clarke's heart stops in her chest as it looks as though the ball is heading in a straight line down the middle... until it doesn't. 

 

The ball veers about halfway down the line and eventually drops off into the gutter. "You've got to be kidding me." Clarke grumbles. When she turns around she sees Octavia and Raven's smug faces, she gives them both an Oscar worthy glare before picking up another ball and stepping back to look at the pins. 

 

The first time Clarke had been bowling she had been with her dad, she still remembered the memory fondly, she had been around seven or eight and Jake had had to help her holding the ball. That was one of the fondest memories Clarke has, she still remembers her dad telling her exactly what to do, and she smiles, lining up her shot. She lets her muscles relax and imagines her father standing behind her, whispering words of encouragement, with his hand on the ball, and she takes deep breath and releases. 

 

The ball glides gracefully down the centre of the alley and hits the pins right in the middle, knocking them all down and earning her a spare. She throws her hands up in the air in celebration and turns back to her wide eyed friends. "Did you see that?" Clarke asks. "I hit them all!" She says excitedly. She sends out a silent thank you to her dad who was back in Polis probably annoying her mom in his stupid charming way that he does. Octavia and Raven look at each other in disbelief and Clarke sticks her tongue out at them. 

 

"That was luck Griffin, pure luck." Octavia reasons. 

 

"Yeah." Raven agrees. "I’d like to see you do it again." Raven teases standing up and picking up a ball. 

 

"I have a secret weapon." Clarke says with a wink settling back beside Octavia. They watch as Raven scores yet another strike and the mechanic takes Octavia's seat. Clarke watches Octavia carefully, though out the corner of her eye she could see Raven's leg bobbing up and down almost nervously. 

 

"So did Lexa really say Anya had a thing for me?" Raven asks and Clarke smirks at the question, giving Raven a smug look, which just causes the brunette to shove her best friend in a playful way. Clarke shrugs in answer before smiling at her friend. 

 

"She may have mentioned something about how you and Anya got along a little  _ too  _ well and that she figured Anya liked you and, apparently, Anya doesn't like a lot of people, at least, not like she does you." Clarke explains nonchalantly and Raven sits back with that knowledge. "I say go for it Rae, as soon as she gets back, just go for it." Clarke encourages because, when Anya had been here, Raven and her had gotten along swimmingly what with their mutual smartass personalities and teasing abilities but also the parts of them that should clash worked together and Clarke could see them seriously becoming something. Raven just grunts and Clarke chuckles standing up to take her turn again. 

 

The evening progressed that way until Raven came out victorious and Octavia had come in last thanks to Clark's ‘secret weapon’ - Clarke had to admit it felt good to win for once. When the game of bowling had finished, Raven had insisted on getting a couple of drinks while glancing at her watch. Clarke had protested at first but once Raven Reyes makes up her mind there is no changing it, so Clarke stuck to her one drink and, suspiciously, Octavia and Raven didn't recommend more - as though they wanted their friend to be fully inhibited which was a little weird for those two. 

 

Clarke missed Lexa, it was embarrassing to admit, and she didn't want to think she was dependent on Lexa any more than she was on herself, or that she just couldn't live without the brunette being there, but, after spending months of time together, Lexa's absence was noticeable to say the least. Clarke wondered about Luna briefly, after Lexa had explained the blonde had wanted to suggest that Lexa hear her out, because, sure, Luna had been kind of a terrible person for not standing up for Lexa when she had been banned from her longtime girlfriend's funeral service, but it probably hadn't been Luna's idea to do that, and ,really, she might have tried to help Lexa but been unsuccessful. Clarke just didn't know. Lexa could hold a grudge, that much was certain. 

 

Once Raven was satisfied with enough drinks the group of friends made their getaway though Clarke was getting increasingly suspicious of her two giggling and giddy best friends but she was too busy with the thought of going home to Lexa to really care what had them acting so weird.

 

**//**

 

When Clarke climbs the stairs to her apartment building she looks over her shoulder to see Octavia and Raven grinning like a pair of school girls, both nudging each other playfully and giving Clarke an encouraging nod. Clarke frowns at them, and gives them a look of confusion, but neither offers up an explanation for their sudden giddy mood. Clarke rolls her eyes and begins unlocking the apartment door, choosing to ignore her idiotic friends. When she opens the apartment door, however, her breath catches in her throat, she drops her keys and gapes at the sight that greets her. 

 

Lexa is stood frozen in the centre of the room, she's holding a bottle of what looks like champagne in one hand, like she had just been caught in the act of doing something she shouldn't have, she's dressed in a light blue button down, with dress pants, though her feet are bare, she's stood in front of the table from the kitchen, which she must have pulled through to the living room, and Clarke spots the dishes on the top of it with a single rose placed between the two plates but, the most impressive thing that takes Clarke's breath completely away, is the abundance of candles that are lit all around the room. The candles douse the room in a rich orange glow that flickers occasionally from some sort of draft, they blaze from all corners of the room and Clarke realises that that must have taken Lexa hours to set up, lighting each candle and positioning them into the perfect spot. Clarke was about to speak when her eyes are drawn to a movement by Lexa's feet. 

 

She frowns at the sight she sees there and then looks back up at Lexa with raised eyebrows. "Why is there a cat in our apartment?" Clarke asks. Lexa glances down at the creature and lets out a little huff of annoyance, placing the champagne bottle into a bucket of ice. 

 

"All this and that's what you ask?" Lexa asks with a teasing tone. Clarke steps inside of the apartment and closes the door behind her, placing her keys into the bowl by the door. 

 

"Lex, this is...  _ incredible _ ." Clarke says breathlessly, breathing out in a loud sigh of awe, and Lexa smiles at the blonde. "But seriously, the cat?" Lexa chuckles, walking over to Clarke and the cat follows after her. 

 

"So I was planning on cooking you a super romantic dinner but, apparently, I got a little too distracted by my candle lighting, that I kind of burnt the steak." Lexa gives her an embarrassed smile and Clarke laughs. "And the steak is like the main part, you can't just have vegetables, you know, so I went down to the Chinese takeout place that you love and I got your favourite." Lexa explains. She then points her thumb over her shoulder, jabbing it towards the cat that was sitting behind her. "He followed me all the way home." Lexa says with a little irritation and Clarke finds herself staring at the woman in front of her in disbelief. 

 

"So why did you let him in?" Clarke asks though she had a strong suspicion as to why. 

 

"It's raining Clarke." Lexa answers and Clarke continues to stare at her.  _ Yep, Lexa was a huge goddamn softie.  _ Clarke has suspected that that was Lexa's reasoning behind allowing the cat into the building but thinking it and knowing it are two different things. Lexa turns around and scoops the cat up off the floor, the cat purrs and Clarke knows exactly how the creature feels because being held in Lexa's arms is one of the best feelings Clarke has ever experienced. 

 

"He likes you." Clarke cooa. She scratches the cat on top of the head, between its ears, and smiles when the cat nuzzles into the touch. "Hey fluffy." Clarke says with a bright smile. 

 

"Fluffy?" Lexa asks raising one eyebrow. "We're not naming the cat Clarke." Lexa says placing it back down on the floor. 

 

"What, why?" Clarke complains and Lexa gives her a look of disbelief. 

 

"Because he's not ours to name." Lexa says. 

 

" _ Lexa _ ," Clarke whines as the cat brushes against Lexa's ankles, it's almost too adorable, this cat has such affection for the brunette, without barely knowing her, and Lexa wants nothing to do with it - Clarke finds the whole situation incredibly endearing and entirely too cute. "he needs a home, we can give it to him." Lexa shakes her head stubbornly. "He's got no collar and," Clarke bends to the ground and gives the cat a once over with her fingers. "no chip. He's  _ homeless _ ." Clarke says giving Lexa a pout. Lexa shakes her head, averting her eyes from Clarke because she knows she'll give in eventually if she looks into Clarke’s eyes and, no, Lexa doesn't want the cat...  _ does she? _

 

"He's pretty young." Clarke comments. "I'd say probably about a year, maybe a little younger." She says. At the look of confusion on Lexa's face, Clarke smiles, standing up to be face to face with her fiancée. "There was a moment in my life when I considered becoming a vet." Clarke confesses. 

 

Clarke looks back down at the cat, he was black, with white stretching under his stomach and leaving patches of white around his eyes and muzzle, he had little white socks and he was absolutely adorable, his eyes were green, beautiful,  and Clarke just really wanted to keep him. "Oh my God," Clarke says, a thought coming to her head. "Oreo!" She exclaims like it's the best idea that she's ever had. Lexa gives her a perplexed look and Clarke gestures to the cat. 

 

"We're not naming the cat." Lexa repeats, though she gives the cat a curious look. "Plus, don't you call Octavia Oreo?" Lexa asks. 

 

"No," Clarke says but Lexa rises her eyebrows, telling Clarke that she doesn't quite believe her. "Okay, sometimes, but it's perfect,  _ look  _ at him." Clarke says. "He's got your eyes Lex." Clarke states. Lexa scoffs, looking down to see that the cat had nestled itself between her legs again. 

 

"Did you just say that the cat and I have the same eyes?" Lexa asks raising an eyebrow. "Are you implying I look like a cat?" Lexa asks and Clarke laughs at the question stepping closer to the brunette. 

 

"You're kind of like a cat." Clarke says nodding her head and Lexa frowns. 

 

"I am not." Lexa protests but Clarke just smirks, connecting their lips together in a kiss. Clarke lowers her hands to Lexa's hip bones and brushes over the brunette's skin with her fingers that brush just underneath the fabric of Lexa's shirt. Clarke then tentatively enters Lexa's mouth with her tongue and the girl lets out a low emitted sound that very much resembles a purr. Clarke pulls back, satisfied with herself when she looks back at Lexa who looks a little breathless from the kiss. 

 

"See, you just purred." Clarke says with a smug grin. Lexa blushes, because she kind of totally did purr, but she's not exactly keen on taking this animal in - though she supposes she was the one who invited it into her home in the first place.  _ Curse her kind heart. _

 

"Shut up." Lexa mumbles grumpily and Clarke smiles brightly, then changes her expression to one of a pout and wide pleading eyes. Clarke's pretty sure she looks like a five year old but she doesn't care and Lexa, once again, has to avert her eyes. 

 

"Please Lexa," Clarke begs moving so that Lexa had to look her in the eyes. "Please can we keep him." Lexa rolls her eyes at the blonde and glances down at the kitten that was between her legs. She sighs and then looks back up to meet Clarke's hopeful gaze. 

 

"Fine." Lexa relents. "But you're looking after him." Lexa warns and Clarke chuckles. The brunette moves around to one of the chairs and pulls it out for Clarke, leaving the cat curled up where it had been by her feet, Clarke takes a seat, smiling up at Lexa while the brunette begins dishing out the takeout she had bought. 

 

Once Lexa is done dishing out food she settles across from Clarke and gives her a bright smile that falls away quickly. "Oh." She says. "You hate it don't you?" Clarke frowns at the girl in front of her who was now playing nervously with her fingers rather than meeting Clarke's eyes. "I just thought I'd do something for your birthday, you know? And then I ruined it by burning the food and- the takeout was a stupid idea wasn't it? I'm an idiot, you hate this-" 

 

"Lexa." Clarke interrupts. The brunette stops mid ramble and meets Clarke's light blue eyes that are full of nothing but fondness and amusement. "I love it." Clarke says matter-of-factly. "The takeout was a smart move plus, we got a little pet out of it." Clarke points to the sleeping cat and Lexa lets out a breathy laugh. She still couldn't believe that she'd allowed Clarke to convince her to keep the creature, she didn't even like cats, not really, okay, they weren't that bad, but Lexa's never been one for pets, the only pet she'd had was a goldfish when she was five, and the funeral for it had devastated her, now she somehow had a cat named Oreo that likes to follow her around. "And I love food so, you really have nothing to worry about." Clarke reaches other and squeezes Lexa's hand with a soft smile and the brunette relaxes visibly in her seat. 

 

They begin eating in comfortable silence, the only noise between them the sound of cutlery being scaled against plates, and the silent, almost non existent, sound of them chewing their food. Lexa asks about Clarke's day and Clarke recounts it, telling Lexa all about her new found crush for Jillian Holtzmann which just entertains Lexa. Halfway through their conversation Oreo gets up and settles himself back between Lexa's feet and Clarke thinks it might just be the most adorable thing she's ever seen. 

 

Clarke finds herself admiring Lexa in the candlelight, her green eyes are darker, not the usual intense gleam that they usually are but, more like a cool, glistening lake at night, the candle light highlights the little specks of gold around Lexa's pupils and woven into her iris, splashing colour that entrances Clarke on how beautiful Lexa's eyes really are - they're soft and gentle yet they hold a fire that burns low at the moment but is always there. Her lips curve up ever so slightly at the edges, stuck in a half smile that Clarke revels in, and she hopes is painted there because of her, the brunette's skin shines slightly with a rich orange glow, in the candlelight, her hair is tied up into a pony tail, rather than her usual down or braided hairstyle that Clarke loves, though the pony tail really works for her. 

 

Clarke just stares at her, a part of her not believing that Lexa is in front of her, she is real, and she is alive, and Clarke is so in love with her that it kind of hurts, and she thinks that this kind of love is what those cheesy romantic movies are made of: an all consuming, all powerful, love that Clarke can no longer withhold and hide from, not even her fear is enough, Clarke's heart beats but she has a feeling that it beats for Lexa and, even if she can't possibly know what Lexa's heart feels like from where she is sitting, she has a feeling that she does know because her heart is Lexa's, it’s rhythm is in tune with the brunette's because Clarke can't imagine it being any other way. They are inexplicably connected and Clarke can't help but wonder if it was always meant to be this way, if Clarke and Lexa were always meant to find each other, even through twisted fate and harsh losses, they were destined to find one another and breathe life back into their souls. Clarke doesn’t really believe in destiny, or fate, or  _ soulmates _ , but there's something oddly familiar about Lexa, there's always been something familiar about her, the way that she understands Clarke, and Clarke understands her, Clarke can't describe it, it's as though she's known Lexa for the whole of her life and not just a few months, like they were already married, like their so entertained with each other that, even if they hadn't lost the people they loved, they probably would've still found each other anyway because it's just meant to be. 

 

"What?" Clarke startles at the sudden interruption of her thoughts, jolting a little in her seat and Lexa just smirks at her raising her eyebrows. 

 

"What?" Clarke asks clearing her throat and shaking her head. 

 

"You were staring." Lexa clarifies. "I thought you wanted to say something but I get it if you were just enjoying the view." Lexa's tone is teasing and Clarke feels her foot nudge Lexa’s leg under the table. "I'm enjoying my view." Lexa all but whispers and Clarke wonders if she feels it too, this tug, like their tethered to each other, and Clarke doesn't want to say that she was made to be with Lexa but a part of her fees like maybe she was. 

 

Clarke looks down at their empty plates, only just realising that she had finished, and Lexa stands, clearing the plates away silently. Clarke chews on her bottom lip in thought, she'd tell Lexa tonight, she had to, she had to let the words out of her, she had to confess, she had to, she had to. 

 

Clarke lets out a small sigh of laughter as Oreo jumps up onto the dining table and Clarke gets the feeling that he's searching for Lexa. She reaches her hand out and strokes the cat on the head which he gleefully reciprocates by pushing against her hand and encouraging Clarke to continue. "I know how you feel." Clarke murmurs and she's wondering if maybe she's gone insane - she's talking to a cat, and she's actually empathising  _ with a cat. _ "I know, trust me, I get why you followed her, she's a real charmer right?" Clarke asks leaning forward and Oreo releases a purr that Clarke smiles at since it sounded like an agreement. "Yeah, I get why you like her so much, she's a real good hearted one... despite her sharp edges I suppose. I know it seems like she doesn't like you but, trust me, she's like that at first." Clarke continues. "Beautiful but guarded, she'll warm up to you." Oreo meows as though he was speaking back to Clarke and the blonde chuckles. "You're so cute, why would anyone abandon you?" Clarke asks. 

 

"People don't know how good something is until it's gone." A voice interrupts and Clarke twists around to see the brunette in the kitchen doorway holding two tall champagne glasses. "Or some people are just too cold hearted to care about what happens to something once they leave." Clarke feels the weight behind Lexa's words, the brunette's eyes seem glossy and Clarke wonders if maybe Oreo had connected to Lexa on another level - maybe Lexa actually understood the cat and the cat understood Lexa. 

 

Lexa pushes off the doorway, revealing a neatly wrapped present that was hidden behind her back, she walks over to the table and takes a seat in the chair across from Clarke once again. She places the glasses down and she doesn't even blink at the fact that Oreo was now curled up in the centre of the table like a centerpiece. "I've lost people," Lexa begins, pulling the bottle of champagne from the ice bucket. "they left me and, I know it's not their fault, they’re not cold hearted, they probably did care about me before they went towards the light or whatever, but there's always a part of me that blames them." Lexa laughs though it's unhumorously. "It's selfish, I know, but there's always a part of me that asks why did you leave me." Lexa continues, popping the cork from the bottle. Clarke stares at her intently, trying to see if Lexa was sad or something, but Lexa was a rock, smooth and unreadable, it was like she was stating facts rather than feelings. 

 

"I remember." Lexa whispers. "I remember asking that I die before you." Lexa says looking up. Clarke closes her eyes at the confession, the images of a drunken Lexa slurring her words, desperate for Clarke to understand, pleading for Clarke to understand, and Clarke had agreed only to help ease Lexa's pain. "You agreed." Lexa says gently and Clarke's eyes flutter open to look at the brunette. 

 

"What?" Clarke asks. "Have you changed your mind?" Lexa sighs, pouring the bubbly liquid into the two glasses. 

 

"No." Lexa states and it feels like Lexa is physically stabbing a knife right through her heart, the words send a shiver down Clarke's spine and she feels her blood boil with anger - it's one thing to say those things drunk but Lexa is stone cold sober. "It hasn't changed my mind." Lexa says. "Clarke, if anything happened to you... it would destroy me." Lexa says, her green eyes focusing on Clarke's blue ones, her voice controlled and firm. "I would go out of my mind." 

 

"And you think I wouldn't?" Clarke's tone is accusatory, her words harsher than she had intended them to be, and she sees Lexa recoil slightly like the words had actually attacked her. "You think I wouldn't go out of my damn mind if I lost you too Lexa?" Clarke's up on her feet without her even realising she had done so and Lexa is following suit. The blonde rounds on her, her eyes glowing a bright blue with anger and Lexa watches as the blonde pushes her. 

 

"What about me huh?" Clarke asks and Lexa clenches her jaw, recovering from the push with grace. "What happens to me when you die? What happens to  _ me _ ?" Clarke asks desperately, she feels like a hand is clutching at her chest, she wonders if Lexa can feel it too, her chest is tight and her breaths are shallow. "I get it, you'll be be fine, you'll be gone, but what about me? What happens to me?" Clarke asks. "I can't lose you Lexa." Clarke almost pleds, pounding her fists against Lexa's chest and the brunette takes each blow with ease, her hard muscles registering the slightest of pain prickling at her skin. 

 

Clarke breaks down then, the hot tears she felt building in her eyes spill over, wetting her cheeks with warm liquid that leaves streaks down her skin, she sniffles and closes her eyes, a little embarrassed by her outburst at her fiancée. Clarke feels two gentle hands wrap around her wrists and she feels them tug her hands and rest them around Lexa's midsection, instead of bracing themselves against the brunette's shoulders, and Clarke collapses into Lexa's warm chest with a small sob rippling from her throat. 

 

The girl brings her hands up to Clarke's face, cupping the blonde's cheeks, and swipes her thumbs through the tear track marks that stained Clarke's cheeks. Lexa used to tell herself that love was weakness and this is the very reason why. Should Lexa lose Clarke, she'd be destroyed, should Clarke lose Lexa, she too would be destroyed, but, now, Lexa thinks that maybe she was wrong. Love may be weakness, it leaves you vulnerable in ways you couldn't even imagine, but it also gives you strength. Lexa remembers the shell of the person she was before Clarke, she barely left her apartment and she buried herself in work, and now she was cooking dinners, working at a fancy law firm, she had new friends and she was more than willing to create new experiences with those people and, of course, with Clarke. 

 

Clarke has brought Lexa back from her depths of despair and she's been keeping her upright ever since. There's something about that, something about love, that Lexa knows she would never be able to get anywhere else, she wouldn't be who she is, who she  _ really  _ is, without Clarke. Of course, there's also the experience of love, no one should miss the chance to share a connection with someone - a profound bond that makes you want to sacrifice yourself for them - because they might think that it's weakness, love is meant to be felt, it's meant to be felt, and Lexa has never, dare she say it, loved anyone more than she loves Clarke Griffin.

 

"Clarke." Lexa says, she's surprised her voice is so strong - despite the swallowing thickly that she does to push down her nerves. "I-it was like I was drowning." Clarke pulls back when she hears Lexa's words and Lexa takes a deep breath to compose herself. "It was like I was underwater and I couldn't breathe, like I was slowly slipping away, sinking further to the bottom with no hope." Lexa licks her lips and forces herself to keep her voice steady and to meet Clarke's blazing blue eyes. "And then I met you," Clarke takes a sharp breath in at Lexa's confession. "it was like you breathed me back to life, like you saved me, like I was drowning and you  _ saved  _ me." Lexa stresses. 

 

"Despite that, I couldn't breathe around you, my heart went ridiculous and you scared the hell out of me and, honestly, you still scare me more than anything I've ever experienced in my entire life but, Clarke." Lexa pauses her green eyes now burning with intensity, boring into Clarke's soul, expressing just how much she meant what she was about to say. "I love you." Lexa all but whispers. The words are breathed out, hot air brushing over Clarke's skin, cooling when it touches her tear streaked cheeks, yet Clarke hears them, she lets them sink into her and take root in her heart, she lets Lexa's words settle there, closing her eyes and taking her own breath. 

 

Lexa's words may have been a ghost of a whisper but they were there, and they were real, and they were true, and Clarke feels them deep in her, flowing through her arteries and veins providing her with life and making her breathe.  _ She loves me, she actually loves me. _

 

Clarke opens her eyes to see Lexa's glossy green ones, they’re bright and hopeful but Clarke sees the fear, the fear that Clarke might reject her, or not return the feelings, and Clarke can't help but think just how untrue that is. She wants to scream it, she wants to say it a thousand times, to admit to Lexa that she does share those feelings, that she might have always had those feelings. Instead, Clarke moves her hands from Lexa's back to her arms, gripping them, anchoring herself to the brunette like she might slip away if she doesn't, she tilts her head up, giving Lexa a look of absolute honesty, sincerity and a little desperation. "I love you too." Clarke replies, pressing her forehead to Lexa's. "I love you." Clarke repeats just so Lexa got the message, hoping that the words root to Lexa's heart like they had to her's. They do. 

 

They don't kiss, they don't do anything, they simply stand, gripping onto each other, as though they may both tear at the seams if they don't, as though their confession broke them, but Clarke knows that not to be true: it  _ healed  _ them. Lexa is the first to move, she draws her head back from Clarke's and pulls the blonde in for a secure embrace. Clarke pulls on Lexa hard, her arms probably crushing the brunette, but she sighs, with a strange kind of content, when she feels Lexa's arms tighten to the same intensity. 

 

Clarke rests her head to Lexa's neck like they'd done this a thousand times and she takes a nice gulp of  _ Lexa _ . Clarke feels like the embrace might break her, like she's never been held this way, ever, and she realises, with a start, that they're both trying to say ‘I love you’. They stand there, in the candle lit living room of their apartment, holding each other and Clarke wonders if she's ever been held by someone like she's holding Lexa now, or if Lexa’s ever been held like Clarke is holding her, the thought coaxes a warm feeling in her chest and Clarke sighs with content, melting further into Lexa. 

 

They part only when their muscles ache with exertion and, even then, it's extremely reluctant. Lexa smiles at Clarke with a wide smile, outwardly, and Clarke returns it. Lexa loves her, and Clarke loves Lexa, and, even if that love might just break Clarke at some point, she can't bring herself to care because she loves Lexa, she loves Lexa, she loves her. 

 

Lexa reaches around Clarke and picks up the present she had been holding previously and hands it to Clarke. Clarke takes it hesitantly but Lexa encourages her with a nod of the head. Clarke does as she's told and opens the present, which happens to be a box, when Clarke opens the lid of the box she sees a doctor's coat, her name stitched into it with the name ‘Arkadia Memorial Hospital’ below it in the same stitching, there's a stethoscope beneath the coat and Clarke stares at Lexa in disbelief. "Lexa." Clarke breathes, her hands trailing over the fabric of the coat. 

 

"Here." Lexa says grabbing the stethoscope. She places the buds into Clarke’s ears and the blonde finds herself smiling in amusement as Lexa grabs the end of it and places it into Clarke’s hand. "Listen to my heart." Lexa encourages unbuttoning her shirt ever so slightly - Clarke doesn't bother to tell her that that's unnecessary and simply places the end of the stethoscope to Lexa's partially exposed chest. 

 

Lexa gasps a little at the cold of the metal in contrast with her warm skin and Clarke hears the jolt in Lexa's heart beat at the feeling before it settles again. "Say it." Lexa murmurs. Clarke glances up at her and Lexa gives her a lopsided smile in return. 

 

"I love you." Clarke says. There's a jolt to Lexa's heartbeat, it speeds up tenfold, and Clarke's eyes widen - her words had taken root in Lexa's heart like she had hoped. Lexa's heartbeat is strong and steady, if not a little fast, and Clarke feels intoxicated with its rhythm. Clarke looks up at Lexa again and, at the look on the brunette's face, she pulls back and places her stethoscope inside the box once again along with her white jacket. Lexa looks at her curiously and Clarke smiles, lacing her fingers in Lexa's. 

 

She drags the brunette around the room, blowing out the candles around the room, leaving only a few that they carry through to the bedroom where they place them on the chest of draws, illuminating the room in a dark orange glow. There would be no interrupting them tonight. 

 

Lexa turns around to see Clarke standing in the centre of the room and the brunette approaches her carefully, gaining the attention of the blonde who stares, eyes wide and lips parted. Lexa places her finger under Clarke's chin, tilting her lips up so that she can kiss them. She leans in, kissing Clarke slowly, gently, taking her time. Clarke sighs into the kiss, parting her lips to allow Lexa access which she eagerly accepts, her tongue slow and purposeful as it explores Clarke’s mouth. It's almost like they’re rediscovering each other. This is different from their first time together, this is slower, this is soft and gentle, and, now, Clarke is certain that it is loving. 

 

Clarke begins unbuttoning Lexa's shirt, not detaching their lips for a second until the blonde pushes the fabric from Lexa's shoulders and the girl has to step back to fully remove it - she takes the space between them to allow herself to tug on Clarke's shirt. Clarke lifts her arms in the air and Lexa pulls it from her in one swift motion. Then their lips are back together and they’re moving without Clarke even realising that they’re moving. 

 

She hears the click of the door closing and then she's being pressed to its surface as a warm body presses against her front. A moan escapes Clarke's lips when she feels Lexa's hand on the small of her back, and she tickles the skin there, sending a warm throbbing sensation right between Clarke’s legs. Clarke leans back against the door, breaking their kiss, and Lexa looks at her with curious eyes. "What about no sex?" Clarke asks in a teasing tone. She watches as Lexa rolls her eyes, the rapid rise and fall of her chest visible, and Clarke was pretty sure  _ her  _ breathing would never be regular again. 

 

"I think I can make an exception." Lexa says drawing close to Clarke’s neck and biting at the flesh there. "If you would like of course." Lexa says whispering it into Clarke’s ear. Clarke grunts, a shudder running down her spine with pleasure, and her body practically screams  _ ‘Yes please!’ _ but Clarke doesn't want to come off too desperate. 

 

Her hands dart up to Lexa's bra strap, ignoring her question, but giving Lexa her answer, but Lexa swats her hand away. "Slow Clarke." Lexa says against her neck. "Slow." She mumbles and Clarke closes her eyes at the words. She nods her head in agreement and allows Lexa to trail her mouth over her body, as though she were mapping it, or burning it into her memory, and Clarke can do little but writhe under Lexa's mouth and squirm with pleasure - she thanks some kind of superior power for the good sense she'd had to quickly shave while in the shower that morning. 

 

Clarke grows tired and impatient and brings her own lips to Lexa's body, kissing her shoulder and then then moving to step behind Lexa, she places her mouth on Lexa’s shoulder blades, trailing her finger down Lexa's spine, along the intricate tattoo that resided there and the blonde marvels at how crazily defined Lexa's muscles are on her back. "Beautiful." Clarke mumbles and then she's being pulled by Lexa back against the surface of the door with a soft thud and Lexa's eyes are a dark green of both lust and love. 

 

One of Lexa’s hands wonders to Clarke's bra strap and Clarke chuckles against her lips. "Why are you laughing?" Lexa asks breathlessly, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. 

 

"Are you really trying to do that one handed?" Clarke asks and Lexa gives her a look to which Clarke just snorts. "Right, yeah, like you can do it one handed." Clarke says sarcastically. Lexa turns her head to the side, in that total adorable puppy way, and Clarke leans into the wood more - though leaving enough room for Lexa to reach her bra. 

 

"Is that a challenge Clarke?" Lexa asks raising her eyebrows. Clarke nods with a playful smirk and Lexa just gives her a serious look, then, in one smooth move, so smooth that Clarke probably wouldn’t have noticed it if it had been anything  _ other  _ than her bra, Lexa unfastens the clip with her one hand and gives Clarke a smug smile of success. 

 

"Show off." She mutters and Lexa's smug smile just grows - Clarke honestly has no idea how she did that so smoothly. She slips her bra off anyway and Lexa's eyes widen at the sight of Clarke bare from the waist up. Clarke rolls her eyes and lifts Lexa's chin with her finger to stop the brunette's gaze from being on her chest - Lexa really wasn't exaggerating when she said it was her favourite place on earth. "My eyes are up here." Clarke teases and Lexa just smiles drunkenly, leaning against Clarke and pressing their lips together in a searing kiss. 

 

When Clarke reaches behind Lexa to remove the brunette's bra, she falters for a moment, breaking their kiss, which has Lexa's eyebrows knitting together in confusion. "What about Oreo?" Clarke asks with concern. "Can we just leave him out there?" Clarke asks. Lexa gives the blonde a look of disbelief, as though she couldn't believe that those words had just come from the blonde's lips, and Clarke just gives her a sheepish smile. 

 

"I'm trying to have sex with you and you're thinking about the cat?" Lexa asks in disbelief and Clarke grins. 

 

"Well," She says shrugging. "yeah." Lexa sighs in exasperation and leans her hands against the door though Clarke can see the obvious ghost of a smile on her lips. 

 

"He has the champagne that we left, maybe he'll get drunk, invite over his other feline friends and have a party. Does that satisfy you?" Lexa asks cocking an eyebrow and Clarke hits her on her bare shoulder. 

 

"That's not funny, I'm serious." Clarke says though it's hard to hold her laughter at bay. 

 

"As was I Clarke." Lexa says leaning into the blonde's neck. "He seems like the champagne type." 

 

"Oh my god." Clarke giggles. "You're unbelievable." 

 

"Maybe I just need to distract you with something else." Lexa mumbles before she sucks hard on Clarke's pulse point, jolting the blonde's body. Lexa's arm twists around her back and expertly unfastenes her own bra with one hand and Clarke wonders if maybe that's how she perfected her one handed technique. The brunette shrugs the clothing off and Clarke’s mouth runs dry at the sight.  _ Well, Clarke was well and truly distracted. _ She doesn't get to admire the view of Lexa being bare in front of her for long as the brunette connects their lips once again and Clarke's thoughts of leaving Oreo on his own slip out her mind as fast as they had come - cats were independent anyway. 

 

Lexa lets out a groan as their bare chests touch and Clarke runs her hands down the firm muscles of Lexa's back. Clarke smiles into the kiss, her hands slowly unbuttoning Lexa's pants as the brunette kissed down Clarke's jaw, to her neck, to her collarbone. Clarke leans against the door for more support, feeling like she might just melt away from the sheer warmth and force that Lexa is pressing against her with. Clarke abandons Lexa's pants for her own, unbuttoning them and pulling them down slightly. 

 

Clarke lets out a gasp of surprise when she's lifted from the ground, Lexa's hands wrapped firmly around her thighs. Lexa lifts Clarke to the bed and the blonde just giggles at the giddy bubbling sensation she feels rise in her chest. Lexa lets out her own laugh at hearing the sound and smiles widely at Clarke as she begins tugging the blonde's pants all the way off along with her footware. 

 

Clarke shifts up, bracing herself against her arms, and kisses Lexa's collarbone as the brunette works on removing her clothes and the barriers between them. Lexa remains silent as Clarke kisses down her chest and Clarke smiles against Lexa’s skin when she feels Lexa return back to her fully. "Lexa." Clarke groans tugging on the brunette's pants impatiently, she knew that Lexa was normally more dominant in bed, and Clarke was more than happy with that, but she also kind of wanted Lexa bare right here right now. 

 

"Slow." Lexa reminds her and Clarke hardly finds that fair considering she's pretty much naked excluding her underwear. Clarke grunts and pulls the brunette down towards her face and uses her momentum to twist their positions so that now she was on top and in a much easier position to undress her fiancée. Lexa just chuckles when she lands on the mattress with a soft thump and Clarke can't help the smirk that pulls at her lips at the sound. 

 

As Clarke focuses on undressing Lexa, Lexa busies herself with kissing down Clarke's chest, hovering in between her breasts, and Clarke says nothing as the brunette moves her lips to one of her exposed breasts. Lexa very gently kisses Clarke's erect nipple and Clarke shudders, tossing Lexa's pants aside where they land in a heap with their other discarded clothing. Clarke lowers herself and Lexa hums, twisting them so that she was partially over Clarke, while she sucked and gently grazed her teeth over Clarke's nipple. Clarke moans in approval and runs her hands through Lexa's hair, pulling her wild curls from the ponytail it was tied back in, and Lexa sighs with the feeling of Clarke's fingers running through her hair. 

 

Lexa expertly removes Clarke's underwear, her fingers gliding down the length of the blonde's silky smooth legs. Lexa would, if she could, worship all of Clarke's body, she'd take her time to map out every nook and cranny, every curve, every beauty mark,  _ everything _ , but she can practically feel Clarke's impatience rolling off of her - especially when Lexa's been worshiping a certain part of Clarke's body ever since she had stared at woman's bare chest. Clarke nudges her chin up and Lexa smiles, tilting her head up to meet Clarke's lips in a blazing kiss of passion. Clarke pulls Lexa's underwear down and the brunette kicks them all the way off so that they land, lost, in the sea of clothes scattered around the room. 

 

When Lexa returns, Clarke pulls the girl down against her and feels the flat surface of the bottom of Lexa's stomach come into contact with her wet, throbbing, core, she feels Lexa grind into her and Clarke all but stops breathing. She lets out a loud groan and digs her blunt nails into Lexa's back. Lexa stops her movements, gazing down at Clarke with almost a look of concern with her eyebrows knitted together slightly. "Clarke?" She asks, her voice layered thickly with arousal, and Clarke bucks her hips at the sound of her name leaving Lexa's lips - even if it was out of concern. "Am I hurting you?" She asks and Clarke shakes her head furiously, encouraging Lexa to keep up her, slow, grinding rhythm. 

 

"No, it's good." Clarke says, raking her hands down Lexa's back as she feels the brunette resume her movements. "It's  _ really good _ ." Clarke all but moans. Lexa places a heated kiss to Clarke's lips as she grinds down and Clarke moans and shudders at the stimulation that she gets from the rocking of Lexa against her centre. "Lexa." Clarke breathes, breaking the kiss. "Touch me." Clarke says. Lexa's movements falter for a moment and Clarke opens her eyes to see the girl gazing down at her with wide, beautiful, green eyes. They look as though they're seeking permission, as though the words that Clarke just spoke were apart of her imagination rather than them actually being what Clarke had said. 

 

Clarke grabs Lexa's hand and runs it down her body before bringing it to cup her centre. She draws in a stuttering breath when she feels Lexa's hand against her sex and Lexa just continues to gaze down at Clarke with a look of almost wonderment on her face. " _ Touch _ me Lexa." Clarke repeats. This time, Lexa doesn't hesitate. She starts slow at first, teasing Clarke with gentle slow circular movements around her clit, and Clarke falls back into the bed, her fingers digging into Lexa's back again. A breathy moan slips through her lips as Lexa quickens her pace and applies more pressure. Clarke's thighs tighten around Lexa's hand, encouraging the brunette to stay where she is, and Lexa smirks, running a finger through Clarke's slick lips, feeling Clarke's arousal dripping, embarrassingly so, but Lexa doesn't comment on it, she simply groans as she feels Clarke's arousal gather on her finger. 

 

Clarke moans, quite loudly, at the touch, arching her back off of the bed in pure ecstasy. Lexa had learned that Clarke was quite vocal in bed, which she didn't mind at all, it helped encourage her on, and the sounds of Clarke's raspy moans in her ear only served to make Lexa, herself, more wet and turned on with every single moan that escaped the blonde. 

 

Lexa slips one finger in first and Clarke gasps, her thighs clenching, when she feels Lexa's slender finger enter her. It's barely in, and it's more of a tease than anything, but the feeling of having Lexa inside of her is ethereal and Clarke doesn't want this to end. Lexa builds up with a steady rhythm, in and out, in and out, with one finger, earning her multiple moans of approval and Clarke’s fingers rake down Lexa's back in time with the brunette's thrusting. 

 

Lexa adds another finger and Clarke whimpers, digging her fingers even harder into Lexa's skin, at the pleasant stretching she feels and the feeling of Lexa filling her, pleasuring her. Lexa grunts as she feels Clarke’s nails dig in her back and, despite their bluntness, she has a feeling that the blonde might just be drawing blood, but she takes the gentle throbbing and burning without complaint - something about knowing she will be marked by this night they spend together is oddly alluring and she curls her fingers inside of Clarke to give the girl more reason to dig into her skin. "Oh God," Clarke pants, she rocks her hips in time with Lexa, building up speed and friction and meeting the girl halfway. "Lexa." She groans, quickening her pace, and, subsequently, making Lexa quicken her own. 

 

Lexa is knuckle deep in Clarke, buried in her, thrusting in and out in a rhythm that Clarke matches with her hips, and she doesn't know if heaven exists but she has to believe that, if there is one, that it might just be located between Clarke Griffin's thighs. Clarke pulls Lexa to her chest, grunting when she feels Lexa curl her fingers again, and the brunette breathes in Clarke's scent - which is mainly just sweat but still somehow manages to smell sweet. "Harder." Clarke encourages and Lexa is more than happy to oblige. 

 

Clarke can feel her orgasm building in the pit of her stomach, like a coil of wire wrapped tightly around, ready to snap, and, when it does, it's the most blissful feeling that Clarke's ever felt. She lets out her loudest moan yet and collapses back into the pillows, panting, her vision blackens for a moment and Clarke severely hopes she doesn't actually black out from her orgasm because that would be slightly embarrassing. She never believed those stories about seeing stars but she was pretty certain, for moment there, she did. She feels Lexa still stimulating her, helping her ride out her orgasm for as long as possible, until she slides out, licking her fingers clean. 

 

She comes up to Clarke and settles on top of her, nuzzling into her neck with a smile on her lips. Clarke sighs and runs her fingers though Lexa's hair. "Wow." Clarke says still breathless. "You were amazing." Lexa hums in response, kissing Clarke's lips as the blonde regained her wits. She opens her eyes after a minute and sees Lexa staring at her with eyes full of love, sparkling in the low lighting of the candles. Clarke connects their lips, sitting up and rolling Lexa onto her back. 

 

As soon as Lexa's back connects with the sheets of the bed she hisses in pain - raw skin brushing against the fabric. Clarke jolts back and frowns down at Lexa who now appears to be over her little outburst despite the consistent stinging she feels still. "What was that?" Clarke asks. She was sitting on Lexa's hard stomach, her thighs bent either side of her and Lexa just shakes her head, lifting up off the mattress to chase after Clarke's lips. 

 

"What?" Lexa asks. "Nothing." She says dismissively. Clarke shoves her back down onto the bed and the girl grunts when, once again, her back comes into contact with the sheets. Clarke forces Lexa to sit up so she can examine the brunette's back and she gasps when she sees red streaks where Clarke hadn't even realised she had been digging her fingers in. Lexa was well and truly marked - obviously not permanently but they would also probably be there for quite some time before they disappeared. 

 

"Oh my god." Clarke gasps, running a gentle finger over one of the scratches. "I hurt you." She says and Lexa pulls Clarke’s face back to look at her, her thumb trails over Clarke's jaw and she shakes her head. 

 

"It doesn't hurt." Clarke gives Lexa a look and she laughs softly. "Okay, it hurts a little, but it was one hundred percent worth it." 

 

"Why didn't you tell me?" Clarke asks and Lexa shrugs. 

 

"I liked it." Lexa answers, her eyes darkening slightly. Clarke observes her for a minute, trying to decide if she was lying or telling the truth but, she sees nothing other than honesty in the brunette's green eyes. Clarke pushes her back down to the mattress with her finger digging into Lexa's chest. 

 

"My turn to make you feel good." Clarke says and Lexa's breath catches in her throat at feeling Clarke kiss the base of her neck. She trails her lips all the way down, trailing her tongue down Lexa's stomach while moving her own body down Lexa's. Lexa watches the blonde sink further down her body and her stomach clenches when she feels Clarke's warm tongue on her stomach - she had an idea where this was heading and Lexa felt the need to hold her breath. 

 

Clarke would be lying if she said she never thought about this before because she's wanted to taste Lexa on her tongue since their first night together when Lexa had gone down her. Clarke settles between Lexa's thighs, quickly grabbing the hair tie that she had pulled out of Lexa's hair previously and tying her hair back so that it wasn't a problem, she then lowers herself to Lexa's core and breathes in her scent - it’s intoxicating but, the thing that draws Clarke in the most is, the heat she can feel radiating from Lexa and her scent is quite literally  _ mouthwatering _ . 

 

Clarke runs her hot, moist, tongue from the base of Lexa's sex right to the sensitive bud at the top causing the brunette to squirm in pleasure. Lexa is less vocal than Clarke in bed but Clarke doesn't care one bit because Lexa lets her know what she likes through her body rather than just her voice, like now, with her hand threading through Clarke's hair and pushing the blonde down harder against her. 

 

Clarke plays with Lexa for a moment, nipping and nibbling at the soft bundle of nerves with her teeth while simultaneously pressing her hot tongue against it and grinding her face against Lexa's pelvis, the brunette grunts and begins thrusting her hips in order to gain more friction and when Clarke lets loose a moan of her own the vibrations from her lips sends a spark shooting through Lexa and drags a loud moan, that surprises both of them, from her lips. Clarke smirks and Lexa rolls her eyes, feeling Clarke's smirk against her throbbing core. "Stop it." Lexa warns. 

 

"If you say so." Clarke says pulling away. Clarke laughs at the whimper that spills from Lexa's mouth as she pushes Clarke back down to where she was. 

 

"No, please." Lexa swallows down the lump in her throat and Clarke imagines that she's not accustomed to begging - in or  _ out  _ of the bedroom. "Please Clarke, I need you." Lexa says and that's enough for Clarke to go back to work, renewed with new determination, she slips two fingers into Lexa's centre, causing the brunette to gasp, while she continues her efforts on Lexa's clit with her tongue, lapping at it while pumping in and out of the brunette with her two fingers. Lexa tastes even better than what Clarke had previously thought and Clarke just can’t get enough of the  _ heady _ ,  _ sweet _ , taste, that is Lexa Woods. 

 

It doesn't take long at all for Lexa to reach her peak after that. She comes with a loud gasp, her eyes screwed closed tightly. Clarke continues her efforts, slipping her fingers out of Lexa and continuing her efforts with her tongue, licking up as much of Lexa as she can, before she hears Lexa grunt in disapproval obviously being overstimulated. 

 

Clarke pulls away, wiping her chin with the heel of her hand, she pulls the hair tie from her hair and marvels at the sight in front of her: Lexa bare and open in all of her glory, naked and vulnerable, panting wildly with a wide bright smile on her face that reaches her eyes with ease. Clarke smiles, kissing up Lexa's body, before crashing their lips together - there's clashing of teeth but that only serves to make Clarke feel truly blessed for this beautiful woman underneath her who is all of Clarke's. Lexa is all of  _ hers  _ now and, hopefully, until she dies. 

 

Clarke moans when she feels Lexa's tongue on her own, tasting herself, before Clarke pulls away from the kiss and collapses next to Lexa. They were both breathing incredibly heavily, and both were extremely exhausted, but both also felt extremely  _ satisfied _ . Lexa twists her head to look at Clarke, both of them were covered in a sheen of sweat and Clarke's hair was spread across the pillow as though it were a halo, and Lexa wonders if maybe Clarke was an angel after all, sent to save her. 

 

Lexa’s fingers trail absentmindedly over exposed skin before they begin playing with the bud of one of Clarke's nipples and the blonde laughs at the action but says nothing more, enjoying the press of Lexa to her bare side and the warmth of the woman's leg that was thrown over her carelessly. "Was that everything you hoped for?" Lexa asks with a small smile and Clarke turns her head to stare at the brunette. 

 

Maybe she's wrong, maybe death won't be the the end of them, because, Clarke refuses to believe that this is the only time that she will have with Lexa, that she won't still be be loving this woman when she is in a coffin, or in whatever afterlife there may be, she can't imagine any moment where she isn't in love with this beautiful woman beside herself. "Best birthday ever." Clarke states. Lexa gives her a lopsided smile and kisses Clarke on the temple. 

 

"Good, because I imagine I will be reminded of this night for quite a while." Lexa says with a playful smile and Clarke rolls her eyes, reaching over and gently running her hand over the scratches on Lexa's back. Clarke couldn't disagree with the statement but her reminder would have more to do with the fact that Lexa was unfairly gorgeous and this night would be burned into her memory every time she looked at her fiancee. 

 

Clarke just laughs and Lexa nuzzles her face against the blonde's neck, lifting her lips to her ear so that she can whisper into it. "Our night is not over yet." Lexa whispers. "There are still quite a few hours until the end of your birthday and we have the whole night to ourselves." 

 

"Careful Lexa, are you sure you can handle that?" Clarke teases and she feels Lexa nip at her earlobe before she lets out an exaggerated sigh. 

 

"I'm not sure," She says in a, obviously, pretend hesitant tone. "I can't really lie on my back." Lexa says and Clarke smirks, pushing the brunette away slightly. 

 

"There are many different things that we can do that don't involve you lying on your back." Clarke teases suggestively and she laughs when she sees Lexa's eyes widen and then narrow while darkening considerably. Their night was far from over. 

 

Lexa pauses for a moment, her eyes just taking a moment to take the whole of Clarke in, in her post orgasm state, and she smiles when Clarke catches her staring. She asks her ‘What?’ and Lexa's smile only widens. "I love you." Lexa says and Clarke lets out a breathy laugh, leaning up and kissing Lexa on the cheek. 

 

"I know." She murmurs. "And I love you." She replies. Lexa rolls over, so she's hovering over Clarke, her eyes focusing on Clarke’s lips more than anything. 

 

"I know." She whispers back. 

 

They both do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That happened. Lexa and the cat that followed her home has been on my mind for a while and I finally put it in and I just find the whole thing adorable tbh. Anywho, my favourite part of this chapter has to be the last few scenes but the dancing in the bedroom is also pretty close to my heart because a Thousand Years by Christina Perri fits them so well and I was so excited to write that scene. I listened to so many songs while writing this chapter: How to Save a Life, Chasing Cars, Total Eclipse of the Heart, Saturn, etc, etc... it was mostly Sleeping At Last tbh. Let me know your thoughts/feelings in the comments and I'll see you again, hopefully, soon with another update :)!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's supposed to show life." Lexa confesses and Clarke frowns. 
> 
> "Life?" She asks in confusion and Lexa stays standing under the water despite the fact that she was fully rinsed. 
> 
> "The idea that we are reborn," Lexa explains. "that we are infinite." She says and a wide smile spreads across Clarke's lips. 
> 
> "I thought it was till death do us part?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I forget that I don't name these chapters and, for some reason, I always come up with a title and it's like why ??? Anyway, if I did name these chapters, this one would be called 'Open Wound' which you'll find out why but I have to admit I got the inspiration from Teen Wolf for that particular scene, which I don't want to spoil, but you'll know when you find it, if you watch Teen Wolf- you know what, I'm going to shut up and stop rambling in the notes for this chapter. I hope you enjoy!

When Clarke finally blinks open her eyes the sight that greets her is almost too adorable to bare: Lexa lies on top of the bed sheets, her hands tucked behind her head, eyes closed, dressed in an old t-shirt and boxer shorts with the freaking cat curled up on her stomach, in a ball, sleeping soundly. Clarke chuckles softly at the sight and shakes her head in disbelief. Clarke was still bare from her night spent with Lexa, suggesting that Lexa must have woken up at some point, thrown on some clothes and allowed the cat to enter their bedroom. Clarke glances over at the bedroom door to see that it was open, she pulls the blanket around her tighter, before she turns back to look at Lexa. 

 

"It's rude to stare Clarke." Lexa mumbles, startling the blonde slightly, her eyes were still closed and her voice was husky with sleep. Clarke laughs, shuffling closer to the brunette who still remains in her stretched out lying position. 

 

"Why are you dressed?" Clarke asks trying to keep her disappointment out of her voice but, honestly, when is a  _ not  _ naked Lexa a disappointment? Not that Lexa's  _ dressed  _ dressed, it's just that it’s more fabric than what she had had on when Clarke had finally closed her eyes. Lexa smirks, her eyes still closed, and Clarke rolls her eyes at the smirk, it was a killer one, a smirk that could make anyone swoon, but, right now, it was teasing Clarke and that meant she  _ had  _ to roll her eyes at it. 

 

"I got up to use the bathroom." Lexa answers and Clarke sighs softly in an almost laugh. "Speaking of bathrooms, we need a litter tray...  _ don't ask _ ." This time Clarke does laugh, the picture of Lexa cleaning up after Oreo, at some godforsaken hour in the morning, in all rights, is pretty damn hilarious. Clarke eyes the cat curled up on Lexa's stomach and she can imagine the brunette entering the bedroom, after her little trip and clean, and Oreo following behind her. The fact that Lexa had let him stay said a lot about how he was making his way into the brunette’s heart. 

 

"So, you still don't want to keep him?" Clarke asks, a teasing tint to her tone. Lexa's eyes flutter open and she turns her head to look at the blonde who was grinning up at her. 

 

"He's okay I suppose." Lexa replies. "Maybe not as nice to cuddle as you." The smirk returns and Clarke laughs, leaning up to peck Lexa softly on the lips before sitting up and allowing the blankets to fall from her body. Clarke hears the tiny intake of breath that sounds from Lexa and she smirks quietly to herself, stretching and making a show of walking around their room completely naked, just to rile up her fiancée a little bit, that was who Clarke was, she liked to tease Lexa, it was quite entertaining. 

 

Lexa makes a small whimper noise at being pinned to the bed by a cat because she couldn't sit up and grab Clarke to rejoin her back in their bed. Clarke grabs Lexa's discarded shirt from the ground and tugs it on, buttoning it up, but leaving a few undone for good measure, before grabbing a pair of shorts as well. She runs a hand through her messy bed hair and then turns back to Lexa. 

 

Lexa's eyes are blown and Clarke stifles a laugh at how helpless the girl looks trapped beneath their new pet. Clarke decides she kind of wants to savour this moment and grabs her phone before stepping to the bottom of the bed again. Lexa raises her eyebrows and narrows her eyes in suspicion. "Clarke..." Lexa says, almost warningly, and Clarke hums in question. "What are you doing?" She asks and Clarke suppresses her smile, not wanting Lexa to move before she got the shot. 

 

"I'm just texting Octavia." Clarke says. At this, Lexa sighs and relaxes back into the bed, returning back to her lazy posture and naturally beautiful self. Clarke snaps the picture, and curses herself for not putting her phone on silent, when the shutter sound rings through the bedroom like that one time Clarke had dropped a glass in a restaurant and everyone went dead silent. 

 

" _ Texting Octavia _ ?" Lexa says sarcastically, her face in a scowl, and Clarke snaps yet another picture which earns her a disapproving glare. "Clarke." Lexa warns. 

 

"But you're so cute Lex." Clarke coos and Lexa gives her an unamused look. "This is so going to be my wallpaper." 

 

"Don't you even think about it." Lexa threatens and Clarke gives her a mischievous smile. 

 

"What are you going to do about it?" Clarke asks while waving her phone around in the air. Lexa glances down at the cat on her stomach and then back up at the blonde with her eyes narrowed. 

 

"It is so on." Lexa says lowly. She gently coaxes Oreo awake and, once the cat is alert again, Lexa moves him from her stomach to lie on the bed instead of her. She jumps up from the bed and Clarke's eyes widen as the brunette bounds towards her. 

 

"Lexa..." Clarke says cautiously while backing away from her slowly. "Lex." She repeats but the brunette just grins at her. Clarke looks around for something to help her, finding her discarded shirt from the night before, she scoops it up and throws it at the brunette as she runs out of the bedroom though her running is hindered by her hysterical laughing as the brunette peels the shirt off of her face. 

 

Clarke pauses for a moment, trying to find her refuge, and that was her biggest mistake. When she finally decides on the bathroom Lexa's already recovered from her t-shirt situation. Clarke runs towards the bathroom, hoping to get there before Lexa reaches her, her feet touch the threshold, and Clarke's certain she's made it to safety, when two arms wrap around her waist from the back and Clarke's being pulled into strong arms that grip her tightly, yet gently, at the same time. 

 

Clarke lets out a squeal as Lexa lifts her up off of the ground and pulls her out of the bathroom  while Clarke's legs kick out in front of her in protest. "Put me down!" Clarke protests but Lexa's arms are like iron - there's no way she can escape her grip. 

 

"Delete the photo." Lexa says and, unlike Clarke, her voice is firm and shows no signs of breathlessness, only pure amusement, that drips from every word, as she drags Clarke backwards back to the living room. 

 

" _ Never _ !" Clarke retorts and then she's being pushed onto the soft cushions of the couch. She yelps a little when she feels her back completely horizontal, with nothing but air beneath her, but as soon as she hits the couch she lets out a fit of giggles that has Lexa grinning so widely. Lexa hops over the back of the couch and pins the blonde there, grabbing her phone, and Clarke can't even protest, other than wiggle her body but, Lexa is all muscle, and she's strong, and Clarke's pretty much no match for the green eyed beauty above her. 

 

She watches as Lexa taps on her phone a few times and then Clarke pulls out her final card: a killer pout that she knows will have Lexa giving in to her. Lexa glances down at her and snorts at the sight with a smile tugging at her lips. "Please don't delete it." Clarke whines. She watches as Lexa taps a couple more times before she looks back down at the blonde. 

 

"Too late." She says placing the phone on Clarke's chest, still unlocked, before standing up and heading towards the kitchen. Clarke sits up with a scowl and picks up her phone with a sense of defeat before she sees the wallpaper on it: it’s Lexa, on her back, arms behind her head, hair messy and wild, clad in a tank top, that shows off her perfect arm muscles, and boxer shorts and, of course, with a cute little cat curled up on her stomach. Clarke grins, her chest flooding with adoration at the sight.  _ She didn't delete it. _

 

Clarke hops up from the couch, leaving her phone behind, and heads towards the kitchen to find Lexa leaning against one of the counters, phone in hand as she seemingly texted someone. Clarke enters wordlessly and settles beside Lexa who glances at her. "I invited Lincoln over so he can feed us." Lexa says with a soft smile and Clarke groans, wrapping her arms around Lexa's waist, and nuzzles her nose into her fiancée's neck. 

 

"I kind of want to stay home all day." Clarke confesses. "We both start work  tomorrow and I just want a lazy day of you in your underwear and those cheesy romantic movies that you love." Lexa scoffs, setting her phone down, and twists them around so Clarke is leaning against the counter and Lexa is standing in front of her with her forehead pressed to the blonde’s and her arms firmly around her waist. 

 

"If you tell anyone about that, I'll have to kill you." Lexa says playfully and Clarke chuckles. 

 

"What? That you'd much prefer to watch Twilight than Die Hard?" Clarke asks, teasing Lexa who just grunts. 

 

"I have a reputation to protect Clarke." Lexa states and Clarke hums, brushing her lips over Lexa's. 

 

"Can't have people knowing you're a huge sap huh?" Clarke asks and Lexa rolls her eyes. 

 

"Of course not." Lexa replies, like it should be obvious, and Clarke shakes her head, grinning at the brunette as she tugs at the hem of her boxer shorts. "I'll tell Linc to pick up some cat essentials and then he'll come back, with the terrible two, and make us some breakfast, then we can have a day of trashy movies. Does that sound good?" Lexa asks and Clarke nods before something pops into her mind. 

 

"Oh, we're supposed to look into a place where our wedding can be held." Clarke reminds Lexa and the girl lets out a huff. "And did you just call my two best friends the ‘terrible two’?" Clarke asks, smile spreading across her face, and Lexa gives her a look of ' _ don't you agree _ ' and Clarke laughs at the expression. "I suppose we can wait for the venue, one more month, or a few weeks, won't hurt. Whatever, my mom and dad have enough money to bribe them if they're assholes about it." 

 

"You don't even know where we're getting married." Lexa points out and Clarke just shrugs. 

 

"I bet they can still be bought." She says and Lexa purses her lips. Sometimes she forgets that Clarke comes from a wealthy background because Clarke Griffin is, in fact, quite simple. Don't get Lexa wrong, Clarke is a complicated person, with layers upon layers to her personality, she is by no means shallow, or uneducated, and she most certainly is not easy to figure out, but Lexa means that here, Clarke dressed in Lexa's button down and shorts, standing in the centre of their apartment kitchen, blue eyes and blonde hair, Clarke is just another human, she doesn't look like a person who has a family in Polis and a huge estate to accompany it, she's simply just  _ Clarke  _ and so Lexa forgets because the money and the estate are not who Lexa loves, she loves Clarke, simple, complicated, beautiful Clarke, and Lexa wouldn't have her any other way. 

 

"Speaking of moms," Lexa says coming back to reality. "my mom is coming over later, she said something about wanting to give me something." Lexa shrugs and Clarke nods her head pecking her fiancée on the cheek. 

 

"Hey, have you thought about your something old, something new, something blue, something borrowed,  _ blah, blah, blah _ ?" Clarke asks curiously, watching as Lexa set away to making them both coffee. Lexa scrunches up her nose as she presses a few buttons, in a face that Clarke can only describe as adorable, and then turns to face Clarke. She purses her lips before smiling softly, stepping forward, cupping her hands under Clarke's jaw, she gently traces her thumbs over the highs of Clarke's cheeks and stares intensely into her eyes. 

 

"Your eyes are my something blue." Lexa whispers. Clarke holds her gaze for a moment before bursting out laughing. Lexa furrows her brow in confusion and Clarke just laughs harder. "Great," Lexa huffs. "this is what I get for trying to be romantic." She sounds like a pouty child, and Clarke finds it all very endearing, she leans up and pecks the girl on the lips in amusement and Lexa raises her eyebrows in question. 

 

"I'm sorry." Clarke says regaining her breath. "I'm sorry babe, it's just, you're very extra." Clarke says with a huge teasing grin but Lexa just blinks back at her a couple of times. This time it's Clarke's turn to be confused, she expected Lexa to laugh, or make some sarcastic comment, an eye roll,  _ anything  _ really, but the brunette just gazes at her with sparkling green eyes and a small fond smile. 

 

"Did you just call me babe?" Lexa asks her smile widening and Clarke feels herself flush with a furious blush with the tips of her ears surely turning pink. 

 

"No." Clarke replies cooly and Lexa's smile widens even further, if that was even possible, and she nods her head at the blonde. 

 

"Yes you did." She retorts, before Clarke can make another deny, Lexa speaks again. "I liked it, almost as much as the back thing you did last night." Lexa teases and Clarke shoves her playfully with the brunette laughing at her. Lexa's laugh is beautiful, it's a symphony that Clarke will never tire of hearing, it's light and infectious and that's another thing that Clarke loves about the brunette: her laugh. 

 

Clarke bites her lip and turns the brunette around, ignoring Lexa's questioning gaze, and lifts her tank top up to look at the marks on Lexa's back. She trails her hand gently over the marks, smiling when she sees Lexa shudder, she steps forward, pressing a kiss to Lexa's taut shoulder blades where Clarke had dug her fingers in and left a mark. The brunette simply arches into it and Clarke hums, satisfied by the warmth of Lexa, she wants to be skin to skin but they're dressed now, and last night was an exception to their no sex rule, so Clarke folds herself against Lexa's bareback, wrapping her arms around the brunette's front, sighing at the warmth and contact. 

 

Lexa chuckles, being embraced by Clarke from behind was not an unwelcome feeling, in fact, she kind of loved it. The thought of starting work  tomorrow was a depressing thought and Lexa almost didn't want to go, she just wanted to spend time with Clarke, forever, cuddling and kissing and just  _ being  _ with the blonde. 

 

Lexa spins around and picks Clarke up, who squeals at the sudden movement, gripping onto Lexa so she doesn't fall. " _ Lexa _ !" Clarke scolds but Lexa ignores her, carrying her into the living room and collapsing on top of the couch in a heap. "What are you doing?" Clarke asks, far too amused, she gazes up at Lexa who grins down at her with a bright smile. 

 

"I have to make the most of you while I can." Lexa states. " Tomorrow we start work, and later today we have company, so I want to take full advantage of the alone time I have with my fiancée today." Lexa says nuzzling into Clarke's neck. Clarke chuckles as Lexa presumes a cuddling position on top of her, wrapping her arms securely around Clarke's waist while her head rested in the crook of Clarke's neck. 

 

Clarke shamelessly lets her hands wander under Lexa's tank top, reveling in the firm, silky skin she feels there. Lexa shudders from the touch and Clarke smirks. "Hey Lex?" Clarke asks, her hands running down Lexa's spine, tickling the skin there, to the edge of Lexa's shirt. 

 

"Hm?" Lexa hums, clearly content with the position they were in. 

 

"How do you feel about taking a shower?" Clarke asks suggestively. The question hangs in the air for a moment, it thickening with sexual tension and the meaning behind Clarke's words. Clarke's hands play absentmindedly with the hemming of the bottom of Lexa's shirt while the girl seems quite happy to lie on Clarke. 

 

"I think they're more economical than baths." Lexa replies and Clarke hears the tinge of sarcasm to her voice. Clarke hits the brunette on her shoulder and Lexa just laughs at the action - though it did kind of hurt thanks to her scratch marks. 

 

"You know what I meant jerk." Clarke states and Lexa smiles against the skin of Clarke's neck. 

 

"Clarke," Lexa begins. "take my shirt off." Clarke smiles, and pulls the hem of Lexa's shirt over her head, more than pleased to see she wasn't wearing anything other than her t-shirt underneath. Lexa connects their lips, pressing into Clarke, who lets her hands run over the entire expanse of Lexa's shirtless body, Lexa moves her lips from Clarke's lips to her neck, kissing down the side of it, her teeth grazing over tender skin and marks that she had left the previous night before. 

 

"Lex." Clarke groans, her hands stopping on either side of Lexa's stomach. "Maybe we should get in the shower?" Clarke suggests. Lexa sits back a little, detaching her lips from Clarke's neck, and offers the blonde a playful smile. 

 

"Before one of the terrible two interrupt us?" Lexa asks. Her voice is light and teasing and Clarke loves seeing this side of Lexa. 

 

"Or Lincoln." Clarke says and Lexa lets out a small huff, grimacing ever so slightly, with the thought - especially when she's shirtless. 

 

"Very well." Lexa says and, in one smooth motion, she's lifting Clarke up from the sofa and this is the third time that the brunette had swept her off of her feet in that morning - though Clarke's certain she's swept her off her feet plenty of times in the past without her even knowing it. Clarke just clings to Lexa's shirtless body, letting out a surprised gasp as the brunette laughs at the blonde's reaction, she's pretty certain she resembles a koala bear clinging to a tree. Clarke can feel every vibration of Lexa's laugh that rattles through her chest and it's almost as intoxicating as hearing the sweet melody in her ear. 

 

They enter the bathroom like that and Lexa places Clarke safely into the bathtub, on her two feet, kicking the door closed and locking it for good measure. "Um, Lexa?" Clarke asks and the brunette turns to face her. "I think you're forgetting something." Clarke gestures to herself, still dressed in Lexa's shirt and shorts that she'd plucked up this morning when she'd woken up, and Lexa grins, stepping forward to unbutton the shirt. She's slow and purposeful and Clarke hates that the brunette seems to have that whole thing down. Lexa's always concise and careful and, yeah, sometimes it frustrates the hell out of Clarke, but, mostly, she kind of,  _ maybe _ , loves the fact that Lexa takes her time. 

 

Once all the buttons are unfastened Lexa steps into the tub, twisting Clarke around, she gives pause for a moment, looking at Clarke as though she's searching for permission. Clarke doesn't know why she bothers -  _ it's not like they spent all night making love or anything _ \- but she still finds Lexa's hesitance almost cute - she's just so respectful and caring that it melts Clarke's heart easily. 

 

Clarke almost wants to ask what she's waiting for, this isn't new territory, after all, this is familiar territory, only it’s under a shower head and in a bathtub, Lexa’s seen it all before. Lexa leans closer to Clarke and places a gentle, chaste, kiss to her collarbone and Clarke closes her eyes in response. It's not long before Clarke is rolling the fabric off of herself, tossing it onto the floor of the bathroom, leaving herself exposed to Lexa who hooks her fingers into the waistband of Clarke's shorts and tugs on them gently. "We're just showering." Lexa whispers and Clarke smirks. She almost wants to laugh at that because they're not showering, not yet, and it's already steamy and hot... or it feels like it is. 

 

"Sure Lexa." Clarke mumbles. "We're just showering." Clarke tugs on Lexa's boxers and the brunette grunts a little. "So is our no sex rule back in place?" Clarke asks lightly as Lexa's hands glide down the sides of her legs, and the blonde gracefully kicks the shorts over the edge of the tub, leaving her completely bare, and Lexa hums as Clarke pulls down the brunette's boxers and throws them over the edge of the tub with the other clothing. 

 

"Definitely." Lexa says, her tone stern, and Clarke would believe her statement more if she wasn't practically drooling while staring at her breasts. 

 

Clarke flicks the shower on and the first spray of cold water hits Lexa's back, causing the girl to yelp and Clarke to laugh hysterically. She's never heard that sound come from Lexa before, it was almost like a high pitched squeal, and Clarke finds it completely hilarious, doubling over and clutching her stomach from her laughing. "It's not funny Clarke." Lexa says grumpily. The water was heating up now and Lexa was stood under it like it was a waterfall or something with her arms folded over her chest in mild annoyance. 

 

"I'm sorry." Clarke says, taking a deep breath to compose herself, she wipes at a tear that was at the corner of her eye and looks at Lexa before bursting out laughing once again. Lexa grumbles before wrapping her arms around Clarke and pulling the blonde flush against her so they were both stood under the shower. Clarke's laughing cuts off abruptly with a gasp, her breath hitching at the sudden closeness and heat of the water, _and_ _Lexa_ , that hits her skin. 

 

Lexa just grins, clearly pleased with herself and her ability to stop Clarke from mocking her, and then fixes Clarke with a look of disapproval. "I'm sorry." Clarke repeats with a smile. "I just thought you needed a little cool down." Lexa rolls her eyes and swaps their positions so Clarke is stood under the shower head and Lexa is behind her, arms wrapped around her waist and her chin resting on Clarke's shoulder. 

 

Clarke smiles, reaching for the shampoo, she begins soaping up her hair and passes Lexa some of the shower gel for the girl to wash her back. Lexa doesn't hesitate for a second and Clarke finds herself almost moaning when she feels Lexa's hands run from her shoulders, all the way down her back, kneading her back until the gel produces bubbles from her efforts. Clarke thinks that maybe she doesn't need the sex, maybe she just needs Lexa's touch and that's enough to send her into overdrive because it certainly is right now. 

 

Clarke focuses on washing her hair, while Lexa soaps her up, and, only when Lexa's hands reach around her waist to soap up Clarke's chest, does a moan escape Clarke's mouth. Lexa smirks, though Clarke can't see it, and she proceeds to do what she had been doing, laughing softly when Clarke drops her hands from her head and leans back into Lexa's chest. 

 

Clarke stands under the torrential downpour of the shower to wash her body of all suds, running a hand through her blonde curls as Lexa begins massaging her own scalp with her hands, using the shampoo Clarke just had, and there's something really satisfying about the fact that Clarke knows they'll smell the same once this is over. 

 

Once Clarke's rinsed, she takes a position behind Lexa, much like the brunette had behind her, and begins soaping her up. Her finger lingers on the back tattoo down Lexa's spine, running up and down and causing the girl in front of her to shiver from the tingles that shot down her spine from the action. "Did you design this?" Clarke asks curiously. She didn't actually know a lot about Lexa's tattoos, only that they were as intricate as they were beautiful. Lexa sighs, her hands stilling from where they were massaging her head.

 

"No." Lexa replies. "I couldn't draw a decent stickman Clarke, I doubt I can draw my tattoos." Clarke chuckles at that response and moves her hands from Lexa's back, wrapping them around her waist to lather up the front of the brunette, she leans against Lexa's back and rests her chin on her shoulder so she can talk to the brunette while she works. 

 

"So who did?" Clarke asks curiously. Lexa sighs again and Clarke gets the impression that her tattoos harbour a meaning to her. 

 

"My back tattoo was the first one I got." Lexa answers. "I turned eighteen and I wanted something to remind me of what I had endured my whole crappy high school experience, to remind me to stay strong, plus, I heard that back tattoos were one of the most painful tattoos you could get, and, I was feeling metaphorical I suppose." Lexa shrugs and Clarke smiles softly at the confession. 

 

"I bet you were a total broody teenager." Clarke comments and Lexa scoffs. 

 

"You have no idea." Lexa responds and Clarke gets the feeling that she's smiling too. "Lincoln designed it." Lexa answers finally. "He's something of an artist too, and he's like a brother to me, so I trusted him to do it, he knows me better than most." Clarke squeezes Lexa's waist and then leans back from her, her thumb brushing the infinity tattoo on the back of the brunette’s neck. 

 

"And this one?" Clarke asks curiously. Lexa huffs, this time turning to face Clarke rather than the wall in front of her. 

 

"You'll laugh at me." Lexa states and Clarke gives her a look of confusion. 

 

"What? Why would I laugh at you?" Clarke asks and Lexa steps under the water, rinsing her hair of the shampoo and her body of the soap suds. 

 

"It's supposed to show life." Lexa confesses and Clarke frowns. 

 

"Life?" She asks in confusion and Lexa stays standing under the water despite the fact that she was fully rinsed. 

 

"The idea that we are reborn," Lexa explains. "that we are infinite." She says and a wide smile spreads across Clarke's lips. 

 

"I thought it was till death do us part?" Clarke asks and Lexa huffs again, wrapping her arm around the blonde’s waist. 

 

"It was." Lexa says. "I held that belief of life is infinite before..." Lexa trails off but Clarke knows who she's talking about. "And then I thought that maybe we do only get one life but, now..." Lexa trails off again and gazes into Clarke's eyes, her green ones dipping for a moment to stare at Clarke’s lips before coming back up. "Now I think that maybe, we  _ are  _ infinite." Clarke's breath hitches at the words, Lexa was talking about them, and Clarke's reminded of her thoughts last night, about how she was certain that she was meant to find Lexa. Maybe they were infinite, maybe their love would be reborn and they'd meet again in another life, maybe it was always just meant to be. 

 

Lexa presses a gentle kiss to Clarke's lips before pulling away. Clarke trails her fingers over Lexa's bicep where her arm tattoo resided and Lexa gazes down at the touch, her eyes saddening for a second. "Costia." Lexa says, kissing the tip of Clarke's nose, and Clarke looks up at her in surprise. "Before she died, she designed it." Lexa explains. "A birthday gift, I was supposed to get it that week when the accident happened but..." Lexa sighs, and shrugs in defeat, her chest deflating. "Now it's just a reminder of her death I guess." 

 

"Why would you torture yourself like that?" Clarke asks. Lexa purses her lips for a second, her eyes scanning over Clarke's features for a moment as she squeezed the blonde's waist and tugs her even tighter to her. 

 

"Do you know what the word tattoo means in Samoan Clarke?" Lexa asks and Clarke looks into her green eyes, that were glistening and gleaming with lots of different kinds of emotions, that Clarke couldn't pin just one down. The blonde shakes her head in answer and Lexa smiles slightly at her. "It means open wound." Lexa elaborates and Clarke's eyes snap to the tattoo that was wrapped around the brunette's bicep. "I guess I was being metaphorical again." Lexa whispers, her voice is only just barely audible over the hiss of the shower but, Clarke hears her. "Her death was like an open wound." Lexa says. Clarke looks back up at Lexa, her fingers stilling on where they were tracing over the intricate designs of the black ink. 

 

"And now?" Clarke asks, whispering also. Lexa smiles at her, a genuine smile, that's only tinted ever so slightly by sadness, and Clarke feels the love she holds for the woman in front of her bloom in her chest like a beautiful flower. 

 

"Tattoos heal," Lexa states. "and so do wounds." They stare at one another for a long moment, the statement lingering in the steamy air between them, and Clarke smiles, resting her hand on Lexa's jaw and splaying it out over her cheek. 

 

"I think I'd like a tattoo." Clarke says softly. "I mean, I don't know what I'd get, but, I've always been fascinated by them." Clarke says and Lexa nods her head, listening intently. "Or, hey, maybe I could design  _ you  _ a tattoo?" Clarke suggests and Lexa lets out a small huff of air, that resembles something of a laugh, and Clarke feels her heart skip a beat at Lexa's small lopsided smile. 

 

"I think I'd like that." Lexa says before leaning in and kissing her fiancée on the lips. Clarke smiles into the kiss, twisting around to lean her shoulders against the cool tiles as Lexa worked her magic with her tongue and lips. 

 

_ ‘Tattoos heal, and so do wounds.’  _

 

Clarke knew just how much significance was held in those words for Lexa and she pours her emotions for this incredible woman into the kiss, drowning in the touch, warmth and feeling of the brunette against her. 

 

**//**

 

After the pair had finished in the shower, they had both decided on just putting on casual clothes again, gathering up the discarded pieces of clothing and tossing them into the laundry hamper that sat in the bathroom. Lexa, who had rooted around in her drawers for a good few minutes, had given Clarke her old lacrosse jersey and Clarke had been a little  _ too  _ eager to wear the shirt than was probably necessary for an old jersey that had probably, at one point, been drowned in sweat... but it was Lexa's sweat to be fair. 

 

Lexa's number was thirteen and on the back was her name in huge block white letters that read ‘Woods’, along with her number underneath, as well as being on the front, with the name of her college. The jersey was a burgundy colour and it was a tad bit big on Clarke, because the material had been stretched from the protective gear that Lexa had had to wear while playing the game, which really just added extra comfort to the piece of clothing. Lexa also gave Clarke a pair of sweats and Clarke was clean, warm and, most satisfyingly, dressed in Lexa's clothes. Lexa had opted for a tank top that was soft and dropped a little at the sleeves to reveal some of Lexa's ribs, while wearing baggy sweat pants to add to her comfort. Both girls had slightly damp hair and both were also feeling better than they had in a long time. 

 

Lexa had disappeared into the kitchen to go make them some coffee, like she had planned to before getting caught up with the shower fiasco, while Clarke lay spread out on the couch, sketching away, in her drawing journal that she had brought from Polis with her to Arkadia, when the apartment door swings open and Raven's loud voice rings through the apartment. "Honey," Raven yells happily. "I'm home." She grins at Clarke, who was on the sofa, and the blonde rolls her eyes. 

 

"Good, you can leave again." Clarke teases with a playful smile and Raven gives her a mock hurt look. 

 

"Why would you say that to me?" Raven asks. Octavia and Lincoln both stumble through the door behind Raven, both looking a little breathless, while Raven gave them both an amused smirk. "Took you long enough." She comments and Octavia lets out a huff of annoyance while Lincoln just chuckles. 

 

"You know," Octavia drawls, walking further into the apartment. "you could’ve helped." Octavia says shooting Raven a glare. 

 

"Um, no, I couldn't have." Raven says and Octavia gives her a look of disapproval. "Okay,  _ correction _ , I could've, but I didn't want to, plus it was funny to see you struggle." 

 

"I hate you." Octavia grumbles and Clarke laughs. "I got your cat stuff, where the hell is  _ it _ ?" Octavia asks. 

 

"First of all, it's a he," Clarke says setting her sketchbook down on the coffee table. "and I don't know, probably with Lexa, he loves her." Clarke answers. 

 

"Well we come bearing donuts and Lincoln went into the kitchen to talk to Lexa." Octavia replies, setting the box of donuts down on the coffee table. Clarke smiles and takes one out of the box, happily chewing on it, while Octavia plops down beside her on the couch after setting the cat essentials down by the door. Raven goes to grab a donut for herself when Octavia slaps her hand away with a glare. "No donuts for you." Octavia says sternly, pulling the box into her lap, and Clarke just watches her idiot best friends bicker. 

 

" _ What _ ?  _ Why _ ?" Raven asks as though she's actually thoroughly offended and a little downhearted of being deprived of a donut. 

 

"Because you're evil and didn't help at all with carrying the things up here." Octavia retorts. Clarke chuckles to herself, picking up her sketchbook again and continuing her drawing, holding a donut in her right hand and her pencil in her left. 

 

" _ What _ ?" Raven asks in exasperation. " _ Clarke _ !" Raven protests and Clarke looks up to see the brunette giving her a look that said  _ ‘tell her’ _ without Raven actually having to physically say the words. 

 

"Come on O." Clarke says rolling her eyes - there was a reason that Clarke was the ‘mom’ friend of the group. "Give her a donut. Or you know she'll just be complaining the whole day and she might even blow something up out of donut deprivation." Clarke says, mostly joking, though she wouldn't put it past Raven to blow something up and she'd certainly complain. Octavia rolls her eyes, and holds the box out for Raven to take one, and the blonde smiles, happily returning to her drawing. 

 

Raven sits down beside Octavia and Clarke takes the liberty of stretching her legs over the laps of her two best friends as she continued to draw. She doesn't receive any complaints from her best friends and, once she's finished her donut, Lincoln comes out of the kitchen holding a steaming cup of coffee to replace the now empty hand that Clarke has. Clarke smiles in thanks and he retreats back to the kitchen where Clarke could hear Lexa and Lincoln's soft voices drifting in every so often. 

 

Clarke had tuned out her surroundings so well that she doesn't even hear when Raven turns the TV on and puts on some trashy TV show that Clarke doesn't care much about. It's all very domestic, even if her friends weren't here, sitting in Lexa's clothes, stretched out on the couch while Lexa makes coffee and breakfast in the kitchen, Clarke even had that ache in her limbs, the kind of ache you get when you're just being lazy, the kind when you don't want to leave bed, _that_ _kind of ache_ , and she's relaxed, calm and, mostly, just plain happy. 

 

It's not long before Clarke recognises the shape of a familiar face, and the curly hair that falls in perfect strands, staring back at her from her page. She's drawing Lexa how she had woken up to see her this morning, her hands tucked behind her head, peacefully asleep with Oreo curled up on her stomach. Clarke takes great detail with the strain of Lexa's bicep muscles and the innocence of Lexa's expression as she slept. By the time that Clarke's only halfway done Lincoln and Lexa are entering the living room with plates of waffles and smiles as Lincoln mutters something to Lexa that makes her laugh. 

 

Lincoln is carrying three plates, since he has more arms to carry them with, while Lexa holds two, she hands one to Clarke, who takes it with a smile, quickly shutting her sketch book so that Lexa couldn't see her drawing. Lexa raises her eyebrow, but chooses not to say anything, and settles beside Clarke on the sofa so they can eat side by side. It's a squeeze but, by some miracle, all five of them are able to just say make it onto the sofa though Raven switches places with Octavia, so she's sat between Octavia and Lexa rather than being pressed up against Lincoln, because that would've been awkward, and Clarke didn't really mind that Raven would rather be pressed up against Lexa because she had a thing for Anya anyway and, honestly,  _ could she really blame her? _

 

They eat in remote silence, making small conversation as they watch the ‘Kardashians’ - Clarke swears that Raven secretly loves them - and Clarke smiles when she sees Lexa put her plate aside and pick up Oreo, who had wandered in to seek out, Clarke was sure, Lexa, from the ground. The brunette places the cat on her lap and, almost immediately, the feline is curling up in her lap and purring as Lexa gently runs her hands through his short hair. "So I declare movie night to be gay movie night." Raven speaks up and Clarke snorts from her position on the couch and Octavia rolls her eyes. 

 

"Why exactly?" Octavia asks and Raven grins at her. 

 

"Oh man, poor,  _ straight _ , clueless, Octavia." Raven says sarcastically and she puts her palm up to Lexa, who slaps her hand against it begrudgingly while rolling her eyes at the mechanic. "Everything is better gay." 

 

"She has a point." Clarke agrees and Lexa just smiles to herself. Octavia just rolls her eyes again and gestures to Raven. 

 

"So what did you have in mind?" Octavia asks. 

 

"It's not night yet, you'll have to wait." Raven replies and Octavia scoffs in disbelief. 

 

"Give me one." Octavia demands and Raven pauses in thought for a moment. 

 

"Alright," She relents. "Carol." Raven answers. "Oh, and I’m breaking the gay rule with one horror film because I want to see Clarke wet her pants." Raven says suddenly and Clarke scowls. 

 

"What are you talking about?" Clarke asks. "I'm not afraid of horror films." Octavia and Raven look at each other before they both turn to stare at Clarke with amusement. Lexa chuckles at the expressions on Raven and Octavia's faces and turns to face Clarke also with her eyebrows raised. 

 

" _ Yeah _ ,  _ you are. _ " Octavia says in both disbelief and sarcasm. "Remember when we watched Saw? You almost puked, that was hilarious." 

 

" _ Hey _ !" Clarke protest. "Gore horror grosses me out okay?" 

 

"You're a doctor." Raven points out and and Clarke pulls a face at the mechanic. 

 

"There's a difference between cutting someone open with a scalpel and then slicing them open with a chainsaw and watching as their guts spill out." 

 

"Are you telling me, that if I was chopped open with a chainsaw, and made it to the hospital, that you wouldn't try and save me?" Raven asks with a mischievous smile and Clarke rolls her eyes. 

 

"You know what I mean." Clarke says with annoyance. "Horror films exaggerate things, they make them ten times worse than what they would actually be in real life." Clarke sits back in her seat and lets out an annoyed breath and Lexa chuckles, leaning over to peck Clarke on the cheek. Clarke feels her exterior soften and she feels her annoyed mood drop at the affectionate gesture from her fiancée. Raven makes a face of disgust at the couple but Clarke thanks some kind of higher power for the mechanic getting distracted by the TV to not make a comment about it.

 

**//**

 

They make themselves busy for the majority of the day, Lexa and Lincoln setting up the new cat essentials that Lincoln had picked up for them and then cleaning up, while Octavia and Raven sat on the couch with Clarke who just absentmindedly sketched away. It was just getting to evening, and Raven was suggesting they watch the movies now, when there was a knock on the door. Lexa comes out of the kitchen, holding a beer in her hand, and Lincoln follows after her, leaning against the doorway to see who their visitor was. 

 

Lexa peeps through the hole, before placing her beer down on the small table by the door, and then proceeds to open the door with a wide smile. "Mom." Lexa greets, pulling her mother into a tight hug. The woman lets out a small chuckle at her daughter's enthusiasm to see her and returns the embrace with a strong one of her own. 

 

"Alexandria." She greets with a smile stepping into the apartment. She sees Clarke engrossed in her drawing while the two girls who she had briefly met, Raven and Octavia, sat beside their friend. She smiles at Clarke, who was obviously wearing Lexa's old college jersey, and the girl looks up to catch the woman's green eyes looking at her. 

 

Clarke hops up, ditching her book, and crosses the room to greet Lucy while Lexa gave her beer to Lincoln to hide - her mom always complained that Lexa drank too much, which wasn’t true, but mothers are like that. "Lucy." Clarke says with a genuine smile. "It's good to see you again, you look good." Clarke says gesturing to her. The woman gives Clarke a brief hug and then nods her head. 

 

"Treatment is working like a charm." She says and Clarke catches the look of relief on Lexa's face. "I should be all better by the time your wedding rolls around." She says. Her eyes move from Clarke to Lincoln and then she's stepping towards the big guy with her arms outstretched. "Lincoln," she says happily and Lexa rolls her eyes. "how are you? I haven't seen you in so long, Alexandria hasn't been too much of a handful has she?" Lexa scoffs in offence and Clarke laughs, silently retreating back to the living room with her friends. 

 

"Not more so than usual." He says with a teasing wink at Lexa who gives him another eye roll. Lexa didn't really understand it but her mom loved Lincoln, like Lexa said, he was like a brother to her and he was like a son to her mom. Lexa suspected it was because the big guy had practically lived with them, since he wasn't on good terms with his own family, but Lexa's mom had always had a soft spot for him. 

 

Lexa ushers them into the kitchen and offers to make her mom a coffee to which she agrees. Lincoln takes over making the coffee with a look and Lexa faces her mom as she roots around in her bag for a moment, probably searching for the thing that she had wanted to give Lexa. She pulls out a small box and hands it to the brunette who takes it with a small frown. Lincoln passes Ms. Woods her coffee, and she takes it with a grateful smile, while Lexa opens up the top of the small box. 

 

She frowns down at the items lying there before plucking one up and holding it between her thumb and index finger, examining it closely. "They're cufflinks," Lucy explains. "they belonged to your father, he wore them on our wedding day and made a comment that they were good luck and that we'd be married forever solely because of their luck." Lexa smiles at the mention of her father, examining the cufflinks closer, she was holding something that her father had touched, sure, Lexa shared half of his genes, and she'd seen pictures of him, but Lexa was holding something that he had held and she'd never really felt connected to her father as much as she did in this moment - she might not remember him but she knew that she loved him. 

 

She looks up to see her mom giving her a watery smile, her eyes glassy as she sips at her coffee to try to hide her obvious sadness and Lexa sees herself reflected in the green of her mother's eyes. "I thought they could be your something old... and they're borrowed." She says and Lexa smiles putting the top back on the box and placing them onto one of the counters. She turns around and wraps her mom in a tight embrace, trying to convey how thankful she was while also trying to comfort her mom. 

 

"You're efficient." Lexa jokes and her mom chuckles, allowing Lexa to know that she was okay and for her to step back from the hug. "Something old  _ and  _ something borrowed. Clarke would say you're like me." Lexa comments with a fond smile because, yeah, Lexa was an efficient person, organised, clean, that's just who she was. 

 

"How is that going?" Lexa’s mom asks curiously and Lexa smiles brightly at her, her face lighting up at the mention of her fiancée. 

 

"Great actually." Lexa replies, and the obvious happiness in her tone makes her mom smile, and Lincoln shakes his head, smiling down at the ground at his friend's enthusiasm. 

 

"So tell me about your tux?" Ms Woods asks. Truthfully, she'd been disappointed when she'd heard that her daughter wouldn't be wearing a dress but she knew how uncomfortable those things made Alexandria. Lexa didn't mind dresses when they were normal but puffy over the top dresses were her biggest nightmare -  _ maybe that’s an exaggeration _ . 

 

"Um," Lexa shrugs. "it's not a tux, it’s a suit-" 

 

"What?" Lucy interrupts and Lexa gives her a surprised look. "You mean you're not wearing a dress but you're not wearing a tux either?" 

 

"Well I mean, I, uh, it's a-" Lexa stumbles over her words when her mother's sharp gaze cuts off her rambling. 

 

"Alexandria." She says in a disapproving time. "You would've looked beautiful in a tux." She says and Lexa shifts on her feet. "With the bow tie and the suspenders and everything." She glances at Lincoln. "Right Lincoln?" 

 

"Oh yeah, totally." He agrees instantly, which shouldn't surprise Lexa, he's always been a suck up. 

 

"I didn't even get to see you in it." Her mom points out and Lexa frowns at her. 

 

"Yeah, that's because you were lying and avoiding me at the time." Lexa quips. An awkward silence falls between them, Lincoln busies himself with fiddling with the coffee machine and Lexa's mom gives her daughter a sad look of both regret and pain. Lexa sighs, knowing that that was a low blow on her side, and, considering they had talked it out, she didn't really have a right to be angry anymore, but she was still hurt despite the amount of time that had passed. 

 

"I'm sorry." Lexa says quietly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that mom, I just..." Lexa shrugs feeling exasperated with herself. "I'm sorry." She settles on. Lincoln excuses himself, giving them some space, he gives Lexa a reassuring smile and squeezes Ms Woods’ shoulder as he passes by her, before heading towards the living room. Lexa runs a hand through her curls and lets out a prolonged sigh, rubbing her face and then looking at her mother again with a look of defeat. 

 

"It's okay." She says. "I understand that you're still mad, I would be too." 

 

"I'm not mad." Lexa protests. "You  _ are  _ getting better right?" Lexa asks skeptically. It wasn't beyond her mom to lie about her recovery just so Lexa wouldn't worry about her which meant that Lexa wasn't completely sure if her mom was lying to her or not. 

 

"Yes, I'm fine." She answers. "I just really wish I had seen you dressed in your tux." She says with a sad smile and Lexa shifts on her feet, rubbing the back of her neck. Lucy smiles at the gesture, it was a nervous tick of Lexa's, one that her father had shared, and it was also how she had known when the girl had been lying or hiding something from her when she had been younger. 

 

"Maybe you still can." Lexa says. "I don't think Abby will mind, she can call the tailor in Polis and we can have a fitting here." Lexa says with a smile. "You can see me in my tux if you really want to." Lexa says and her mom smiles at her daughter - Lexa had always been so caring even from a young age. 

 

"I think I'd like that." She replies and Lexa nods her head. "So who will be walking you down the aisle?" She asks curiously. Lexa makes a face of thought for a moment, thinking about her response for a minute. 

 

"I don't know." She confesses. "I thought maybe Linc but. if you're up for it mom, I'd be more than happy for you to do it." Lucy gives her another sad smile because the person who should be giving Lexa away is her father, but he's not here, and Lexa still wants to, at least, try to have a traditional wedding, plus mothers giving away their daughters may be unconventional in most weddings but it does happen sometimes, both the mother and father do it occasionally, it just depends. 

 

"Of course I'll walk you down the aisle." She says, gently cupping Lexa's cheek with her hand. "You're my only child, and everyone should be walked down the aisle by their parent." Lexa smiles at her mom who gives her a smile back. Lexa knew that her mother had never gotten over the loss of her father, she was still in mourning, and, Lexa was sure, it was probably one of her biggest motives for setting up this arranged marriage, she obviously didn't want to see Lexa alone and sad for the rest of her life, mourning someone who was gone, like she was, and Lexa would say something to her mom, about how it's okay to move on, if she was sure that that was what her mother wanted. In all likelihood, her mom would probably just shoot her down, and a part of Lexa has always felt guilty that the loss of her father hadn't weighed her down as it so obviously had her mother, but she's barely known her dad ,if she lost her mom, Lexa doesn't even know what she would do.

 

“I got a job at Trikru Law Firm with Indra.” Lexa changes the subject to a less heavy one.

 

Meanwhile, in the living room, Clarke was back to sketching, Lincoln and Octavia were on the furthest side of the couch while Raven sat in the middle between Clarke and Octavia. "So, Clarke, you haven't told us about your night last night." Raven says with a smirk. Lincoln clears his throat awkwardly and excuses himself to the bathroom, not wanting to hear about his friend's sexcapades, Clarke laughs as the boy locks himself in the bathroom and then she looks back at Raven who was giving her an expectant look. 

 

"What do you want me to say?" Clarke asks. "So we had sex? Big deal." Clarke says and Octavia scoffs, sitting forward so she could see Clarke better. 

 

"Big deal?" Octavia asks in disbelief and Raven nods her head in agreement. 

 

"Yeah Clarke, I thought she was the best you've ever had?" Raven was more teasing than anything, mostly because Clarke had already described her first night with Lexa to Raven already, but Octavia hadn't been there for that. 

 

"She is." Clarke replies without hesitation. "I kind of mauled her though." Raven actually snorts with laughter at that, and falls back against the couch, and Clarke glares at the girl. 

 

"Oh my God." Raven says. "That's something you  _ would  _ do. I've got to see her back." 

 

"It's not like I meant to, it just kind of happened!" Clarke protests. "She told me she loved me." Clarke mumbles. Raven's laughter cuts off immediately, her mouth snaps shut and she turns to face Clarke in shock, Octavia wasn't much different, she was giving Clarke a look of surprise, her eyebrows slightly raised. 

 

Then Raven narrows her eyes suspiciously. "Did she say it during sex?" Raven asks almost like she was going into protective best friend mode. "That is so cheap, I'll kick her ass to Mexico if you want me to." Clarke smiles at the suggestion, and shakes her head, laughing softly at Raven's protective side. Raven might joke around a lot but, when she needs to be, she can be serious and Clarke loves her for it. 

 

"It wasn't during sex, that came after." Clarke clarifies. "We, well, I kind of yelled at her a little," Clarke smiles sheepishly before continuing. "and then she told me that I saved her, that before she met me she was drowning and then I came along and breathed the life back into her." 

 

"That's so sweet." Octavia coos and Raven rolls her eyes. 

 

"Wow, Commander hot stuff is smooth, what else is new?" Raven asks sarcastically and Clarke hits her with her closed sketchbook, gently, on top of her head and Raven pouts at her. 

 

"She didn't use it to get into my pants, she's not like that." Clarke huffs and Raven laughs. 

 

"Clarke, she  _ literally  _ has a no sex rule, that girl cannot be more into you if she tried, I know she wouldn't use ‘I love you’ just to bed you, relax, that's not what I'm saying." Raven says and Clarke nods her head, satisfied with that. 

 

"Wait." Octavia says holding up a hand. "No sex rule?" She asks and Raven smirks, already knowing the reaction that the younger Blake was going to give, and the roll of the eyes from Clarke suggested that the blonde knew too. "Oh my God, Clarke, are you okay? Like really? Raven, check her temperature." Octavia instructs. Raven laughs and Clarke swats at the two of them, understanding now why Lexa had opted to label them as ‘the terrible two’. 

 

"Whatever, you two suck." Clarke declares. 

 

"Seriously though," Octavia begins. "you two sound happy... and in love." The girl says with a wide smile. "So have you had the chance to bring up the fact that you've been thinking about a little Woods or a little Griffin?" Octavia asks curiously. Clarke glances at Oreo, who was curled up on the coffee table -  _ seriously, did cats just sleep all day? _ \- and then she gives her two friends a look of uncertainty. 

 

"I don't know." Clarke says hesitantly. "She seemed to get along with the kids at the hospital, but she didn't really want Oreo, the new addition to our family I guess." Clarke says dejectedly. Raven and Octavia look at each other for a moment, exchanging looks of concern, before focusing back on Clarke who was still staring at the cat on the coffee table. 

 

"Cats aren't really the same as babies Clarke." Octavia says gently. 

 

"Yeah, babies aren't nearly half as hairy." Raven says, earning her a slap on the shoulder from Octavia, along with a glare, but the comment clears some of Clarke's despondency and she smiles ever so slightly. She knew her friends were right, of course, a cat and a baby were totally different, and Clarke couldn't shake her gut feeling that Lexa would be a great mother, it was still just a little too early to bring it up yet though, she didn't want to scare Lexa away when they were to be married in only a few months, and Clarke didn't want to risk messing that up. 

 

Lincoln exits the bathroom at that point, telling the group of girls that he was going out to get the pizzas for movie night, and then Octavia invites herself along under the premise that he may need help carrying them. Raven makes the suggestion that they just get the pizzas delivered but, with a pointed glare from Octavia, the mechanic holds up her hands in surrender and makes no other comment about it. 

 

Octavia heads out the apartment door with Lincoln, a little hop in her step and an almost schoolgirl smile plastered on her face. As soon as the door closes behind the pair Raven makes a face of disgust. "Ugh," She says. "they're being almost as disgusting as you and Lexa." Clarke goes to respond to that when Lexa exits the kitchen with her mother who stops to face Raven and Clarke who were still sitting on the sofa. "Mrs W," Raven says with a wide grin. "do you want to come join us for a while?" Raven offers. 

 

"I don't know, I should really get going." She says gesturing towards the door. Lexa stays silent, torn between wanting to spend the evening with her friends but also wanting to keep talking to her mom - spending time with her family was important to Lexa. 

 

"Nonsense." Raven says, waving her hand through the air, she pats the space beside her on the couch, inviting Lexa's mom to take the seat there, and Lexa smiles at the invitation - Raven always was so friendly. "I bet you've got a load of embarrassing stories about green eyes over there and I'd love to hear all about them, I'm sure Clarke would too." Raven comments as Lucy makes herself at home beside Raven. The woman chuckles at Raven's words and Lexa's eyes widen as she comes further into the living room. 

 

"No, mom, I swear," Lexa says. "if you tell them-" 

 

"How about the time she went cliff diving?" Lucy says, ignoring her daughter's protests, Lexa's mouth drops open at the same time that Raven's eyes light up with interest, and the possible teasing she could do later, while Clarke just seems to frown at the words. Cliff diving didn't seem like something that Lexa would do and, even if it was in the past, Clarke thought of how incredibly dangerous it was and she felt a little anxious thinking of Lexa jumping from, God knows how many feet, in the air into a shallow lake, or sea, or whatever. 

 

"You know that it wasn't my idea." Lexa says with a pout while sitting down on the coffee table across from Raven and her mom. 

 

"I know," Lucy says with disapproval and Raven smirks. "it was Anya's idea. I always knew that girl would get you in trouble and that's exactly what happened." 

 

"Mom." Lexa says grumpily. 

 

"Show them your leg." She orders. Raven and Clarke look at Lexa expectantly and the girl lets out a sigh in exasperation. She stares at her mom, who just gives her a stare back, both as stubborn as each other. Eventually, Lexa gives in and pulls her sweatpants leg up. She twists her leg so the pair can see behind her shin, at the back where her knee was, Raven and Clarke both had to squint to see the faded mark but it was a ragged scar that was probably about five to ten centimetres long that ran along the back of Lexa's leg. Thanks to many years the scar had faded so much that you probably wouldn't notice unless you looked for it, which was why Clarke had never noticed it before, but she reaches her hand out and runs it down the faded mark with a look of concentration. Lexa jumps a little at the contact, not expecting Clarke's touch or the spark of electricity that came with it. 

 

"For her junior year graduation, Alexandria, Anya, Lincoln and Indra decided they all wanted to celebrate by throwing themselves off of cliffs." Lucy says clearly not amused. "Little miss know it all here thought she'd be fine, but her leg got cut by a jagged rock, cut her open, and when she came home, shivering and practically bleeding all over the drive, I thought she'd been attacked." 

 

"It wasn't  _ that  _ bad mom." Lexa protests. 

 

"Not that bad, Alexandria?" Lucy asks sarcastically. "You could've gotten an infection, or worse, landed a little closer to that rock and you might have not been here at all." She says and Lexa lets out a huff. "Anya always has been able to talk you into doing things." 

 

"This brings a whole new meaning to ‘if your friend asked you to jump off a bridge would you do it’." Raven says dryly, earning her a glare from Lexa. 

 

"Would you like to hear the story of when Alexandria finally told me she was gay?" Lucy asks and Raven nods her head enthusiastically. 

 

"No,  _ mom _ !" Lexa protests, her cheeks reddening. "Oh God." She buries her head in her hands as her mother begins explaining anyway. 

 

"I believe it was the final year of middle school, she had a friend over to study with her, a nice girl, I've forgotten her name now, but she was sweet." Lexa's mom begins. "Alexandria was in her room, apparently studying, and I believed her, but when I came to see if I could get them any snacks, I found my daughter kissing her study buddy right on the lips, their books in a pile on the floor in front of them as they were clearly getting into it." 

 

"Oh my God, please stop." Lexa moans and Clarke smiles at Lexa's embarrassment. 

 

"So what happened after? Did you freak?" Raven asks curiously and Lucy laughs. 

 

"Did  _ I  _ freak? No, no, but Alexandria certainly did." Lexa groans, the tips of her ears red, as her mom continued her story. "I've never seen her move so fast, she was off the girl and across her room in three seconds flat, the girl saw me standing in the doorway and just shyly left, gathering her books, and then thirteen year old Alexandria broke down in tears." Lucy smiles with the memory. "She said she was just doing it for fun, that it didn't mean anything, that she was sorry, and then, when I had calmed her down, she said, and I quote, ‘mom, I like girls, they're cute, and funny, and soft, and I want to marry a girl someday, not a boy’." Raven snorts at the image of a teenage Lexa saying that and Clarke chuckles, nudging Lexa with her foot and flashing her her ring to which Lexa smiles softly at. 

 

"And I told her that I already knew that." Lucy says with amusement. "You were hardly subtle Alexandria, it amazes me that you thought I didn't know." 

 

"I don't know, I was scared." Lexa shrugs. "Logically I knew you wouldn't mind, that you'd accept me, but I was just... I don't know, there was always just this slight chance of rejection, and it freaked me out, so I kept my mouth shut." She explains. Raven smiles at her and Clarke gives her another soft smile both of them understanding completely. Despite knowing that their parents wouldn't reject them, or, in Raven's case, care, there was always this deep residual fear of being rejected for it and it psyched them out, in fact, Clarke had been rejected by her mom when she'd stopped talking to her for months, only her dad had supported her from the beginning, when he'd caught her in bed with her hand up a girl's shirt, but Abby had been a little stubborn in the beginning. 

 

"That story is less embarrassing than the time I accidentally walked in on-" 

 

" _ Okay _ !" Lexa interrupts, blushing furiously. "Let's not relive  _ that  _ memory right now." Lexa says. Her mom smiles fondly at her daughter but reluctantly nods her head in agreement, sitting back in the sofa. 

 

"You'll tell me later right?" Raven asks and Lucy smiles at the girl. 

 

"Oh, definitely." She replies with a wink. 

 

" _ Mom _ !" Lexa protests, causing Raven to burst out laughing. Lexa rolls her eyes at the laughing mechanic and Clarke nudges Raven in the ribs with her elbow to shut up. 

 

"Are you staying for a movie and some pizza?" Raven asks and Lexa gives her a look of surprise. "I'm sure Lincoln will get enough pizza to feed a small army, plus we're having gay movie night." Raven says. Lexa narrows her eyes suspiciously at the mechanic who just flashes her a wide grin in return. 

 

"I'd love to but I should really be getting home before it gets dark." She says dismissively, standing up from her position on the sofa. Lexa stands up too, helping her mother, and walks her towards the door. She stops just outside of her door as her mom turns to face her. 

 

"Are you sure you don't want to stay?" Lexa asks. "Or I can walk you home if it's too late?" Lexa asks, suddenly worried that leaving her mother alone to walk home wasn't the best idea. 

 

"I'll be fine, you worry too much." Lucy says dismissively. "How do you think I got here in the first place?" She did have a point. Lexa sighs and gives her mother another hug in goodbye. She watches her mother disappear down the staircase of the apartment building before turning around and closing the door. She steps into the room again and lets out a small sigh. 

 

"So," Raven says from her position on the couch, her face in a bright teasing grin. "you were an awkward little gayling." Raven says and Lexa stares at her before frowning. 

 

"Reyes," Lexa says. "one day, I'm going to kill you." Raven just laughs at the empty threat and Lexa smiles, walking over to the couch to snuggle with her fiancée before the pizza arrived.

 

**//**

Lexa hadn't really believed Raven and Octavia when they had both claimed that Clarke was bad for horror films but the blonde was terrible. Clarke was in Lexa's lap, partly because of the limited space on the sofa, but mostly because she was seeking Lexa out to comfort her. Clarke was sitting in Lexa's lap, Lexa's arms around her waist, every time something remotely scary came onto the screen Clarke would turn her head and bury it deep into Lexa's neck - not that Lexa complained. Raven seemed to find Clarke's terror hilarious and she'd purposely left the horror film until the last movie in the evening because of that reason. "I hate my friends." Clarke grumbles into Lexa's chest and Lexa laughs, tugging Clarke even closer to her. 

 

"It's almost finished and then we can go to bed." Lexa promises. Clarke huffs and gives Lexa a pout, burying her head into her fiancée's shoulder in the hopes of just completely blocking out the movie all together, and Lexa is more than happy to oblige. Lexa closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, smelling the coconut shampoo that she had washed her hair with this morning, and Lexa nuzzles into her, letting out a loud sigh. 

 

Raven glances at the couple to see them snuggled up together, practically asleep, while Lincoln and Octavia sat to her left, they weren't being as disgustingly obvious as Clarke and Lexa, or  _ ‘Clexa’  _ as Raven had dubbed them, but the subtle looks and smiles was just as sickening as the cuddling going on to Raven's right. Raven would feel like the fifth wheel if it wasn't for the fact that she had Oreo settled in her lap, who was Raven's date for the night, and she was okay with that, he was soft, cuddly and, most importantly, he didn't try to touch her inappropriately. 

 

When the movie ends, Clarke makes a sound of celebration before stumbling to her feet, pulling Lexa up to her feet along with her. Lexa chuckles at Clarke's eagerness to go to bed and looks down at Raven who scowls at her. "How about you go to bed and I'll join you once I've cleaned up a little?" Lexa suggestes and Clarke groans, but agrees nevertheless, leaning up to plant a chaste kiss to Lexa's cheek. Lexa watches her enter the bedroom and then switches off the TV, turning on the light so that she could see what she was doing, Octavia was asleep, cuddled into Lincoln's side like a puppy cuddles into its mother for warmth and comfort, and, Lexa had to admit, Lincoln kind of was like a puppy as well as a mother bear. 

 

"Um, I'll put her to bed." Lincoln says, easily scooping Octavia up into his arms bridal style. The girl stirs in his arms, and makes a few incoherent sounds, snuggling into his chest before she returns back to peaceful slumber. Raven places Oreo to her right, on the couch, and then stands up, clapping her hands together with a wide grin. 

 

"You can put her in that room, she'll be sleeping with me tonight." Raven says, gesturing towards the second bedroom to the apartment, and Lexa laughs to herself, shaking her head slightly - Raven's ability to make everything sound dirty astounded Lexa. Lincoln nods and heads into the bedroom to go do just that and then Raven begins picking up empty beer bottles while Lexa collected the pizza boxes. 

 

They move silently to the kitchen where Lexa begins transferring left over pizza to one box and flattening the other two so that they could throw them away more easily. Raven grabs a bag and throws the beer bottles inside of it before she leans against a counter and observes Lexa for a moment. Lexa ignores her at first, determined to not let Raven intimidate her, but the longer Raven stares the more Lexa's nerves naw at her and the more her skin burns from the mechanic's stare. " _ What _ ?" Lexa blurts after a minute of being under Raven's gaze and Raven grins at her, opening the bag that she had in her hands. Lexa sticks the two flattened boxes inside and then narrows her eyes at the brunette, waiting for her to say what she had to say. 

 

"I never said anything." Raven says innocently and Lexa gives her a look. 

 

"Your face did." Lexa retorts and Raven laughs at her. Lincoln comes back to the kitchen to find the pair in a mini staring match and he chuckles at the sight. He steps into the room and places a kiss to Lexa's forehead and the girl tugs him into a goodbye hug. "See you later Linc." Lexa says, patting him on the back, and he gives her his best smile. 

 

"Don't be a stranger." He says over his shoulder before he exits the apartment. Lexa smiles to herself before shoving the box of leftover pizza into the fridge and taking the bag of pizza boxes and beer from Raven and setting it down next to the corner. 

 

"You told Clarke that you loved her." Raven states after a moment. Lexa pauses her movements, a small frown crossing her features at the sound of the seriousness in Raven's voice, normally, Raven wasn't serious, unless it was strictly necessary, which meant whatever she was about to say she meant it. Lexa turns to face the girl and gives her a small shake of the head in confusion. 

 

"I told you that I loved her." Lexa replies. "I don't- what is this about? Did you not want me to tell her?" 

 

"Of course I wanted you to tell her." Raven says with an eye roll. "I just mean, I gave you the best friend speech before and now I mean it more than ever,  she's invested now, like,  _ really _ ,  _ really _ , invested and, I know Clarke and I'd like to think I know you too Lexa." Raven says and Lexa's frown deepens at her words but she stays quiet waiting for Raven to elaborate on what she meant. "I just think you two really need this, you know, I wanted to remind you to be happy, to enjoy each other's company." 

 

"I'm sorry," Lexa says, her mouth stretching into a smile. "Are you giving me your blessing to marry Clarke and make her happy?" Lexa asks, teasing Raven who scowls playfully at her. 

 

"Hey," Raven points her finger at Lexa's chest. "Seriously, Clarke's like my sister, she's family, so hell yeah you need my blessing." Raven says with a faux serious look but Lexa could see the way her lips were tugging upwards and Lexa knew she was struggling to surpass that shit eating grin she always seemed to have plastered on her face. "Seriously though, I don't do sappy speeches or anything-" 

 

"Aren't you giving a speech at the wedding?" Lexa interrupts and Raven smirks at her. 

 

"Of course I am." Raven replies and Lexa's not completely sure that's the best idea anymore, with the look on Raven’s face, but Raven is one of Clarke's best friends so it's only fair she gets to say a few words at the wedding. "Anyway, you and Clarke need each other so treat her right and make her happy and we won't have any problems." Raven finishes with a shrug and Lexa nods her head. 

 

They linger for a moment, unsure of what else to say or do, before Raven decides to speak again. "So, do you want to like hug it out, or like handshake, or something? Oh, fist bump! I'm more of a fist bump kind of girl but you look like the handshake kind." Lexa rolls her eyes and sticks her hand out for Raven to shake but the mechanic simply just stares at it before she shoves it out of the way and wraps her arms around Lexa's neck. Lexa startles at the sudden display of affection but she can't say she's totally surprised, Raven's an affectionate person, and she is a little touchy if Lexa's honest. Lexa falls into the hug easily, patting Raven on the back in an affectionate kind of way, before the mechanic pulls away with a huge grin. 

 

"Anyway, I have a pretty girl waiting for me in my bed and you have one waiting for you in your bed." Raven says, back to her normal behaviour, and Lexa grunts, switching off the light to the kitchen and moving to the living room with Raven - she'd take the trash out in the morning when she leaves for work. 

 

"I wasn't aware that you and Octavia were a thing." Lexa drawls sarcastically and Raven laughs, pausing at the door to the second bedroom which Lincoln must have closed on his way out. 

 

"We're not, but I'm amazing to spoon Lex so I'm sure I'm being missed." Raven says and Lexa hates herself for blushing at the comment. "Night night green eyes." 

 

"Yeah, you too." Lexa replies before she turns the living room lights off, gives a quick goodnight pet to Oreo and steps into her own bedroom. 

 

At first glance, Lexa expects Clarke to be waiting for her but the blonde is under the covers, her clothes at the side of the bed where she had stepped out of them, though she was still wearing Lexa's old jersey, and she was sound asleep, out cold. Lexa sighs and pushes her own clothes, bar her tank top, from her body before climbing into her side of the bed. 

 

The cool of the fabric is quite noticeable against Lexa's warm skin but, as Lexa shuffles further into the bed, she feels Clarke's warmth, almost like a radiator warming the bed, and Lexa smiles. She drapes an arm over Clarke's waist, sighing contentedly. 

 

It was a good thing Clarke was sleeping, they hadn't exactly slept much the following night and Clarke was starting her first day  tomorrow at a new hospital, she'd need her energy, so Lexa didn't care that she was asleep, in fact, she quite liked to just listen to Clarke's deep sleepy breaths as she slowly drifted off into sleep herself - it was soothing in unexplainable ways but comforting all the same. Having Clarke in her bed in  _ anyway  _ was comforting and Lexa couldn't believe how fond she'd grown of the girl since she'd met her all those months ago. Oh, how she loved Clarke Griffin.

 

**//**

 

The bedroom was silent and pitch black, the only sound was the sound of a ticking clock somewhere in the distance and the shallow breaths of Clarke that resonated through the bedroom and through the entirety of the apartment. It was peaceful, and calm, and almost like those scenes from horror films when the silence is almost deafening. 

 

Then, the shrill tone of Clarke's phone rings through the room, penetrating the darkness and startling Clarke from her sleep. She sits up immediately, her hand reaching out instinctively to the side of the bed where Lexa normally slept, but all that Clarke's greeted with is cold sheets. Clarke's head snaps to the side and, in the dark of the room, she could just make out that the sheets were turned over, like Lexa had just gotten out of bed, and the space was empty. Clarke frowns, looking around the room for a moment, it was the same as it always had been: organised and clean, Lexa always made sure of it. 

 

The ringing of her phone seems to cut back in again and Clarke fumbles around for it on her nightstand, answering it without even looking at the caller ID. "Hello?" Clarke asks, her voice layered with sleep, groggy and husky. Clarke listens intently, throwing her sheets from her body, and stands up from the bed. Her feet touch the hardwood floor and her breath hitches at how cold it is against her bare feet. Normally, the apartment was never cold, ever, but, for some reason, it was now. 

 

_ Where is Lexa? _

 

Clarke looks around the room to see if maybe she could piece together where her fiancée had gotten to. "Miss Griffin?" The voice on the other side asks. It's a man, his voice is soft but also firm and he sounds like he's probably of some kind of authority but  _ what  _ Clarke doesn't know. The blonde pads into the living room holding the phone to her ear firmly. 

 

"This is she?" Clarke replies. Somethings different, actually, nothing is different, the apartment looks exactly the same, but  _ something  _ is different about it, it just doesn't look right, it feels cold and just plain wrong, kind of like when someone takes something and then puts it back again but it doesn't feel like that was the way you had it. 

 

"Hi Miss Griffin, you're listed as the next to kin for Miss Woods, she was admitted tonight in the ER for a stab wound." Clarke freezes in place, her feet rooting to the ground. That didn't make sense, Lexa had been helping her two idiotic best friends clean up, she wasn't out, she wasn't anywhere that she could have sustained such an injury, unless, of course, there was an accident in the kitchen. 

 

_ Speaking of, where was Raven?  _

 

_ Where was  _ anyone _?  _

 

Clarke hurries towards the kitchen, pressing the phone harder to her ear, as her heartbeat sky rockets. "I-is she okay? What-? What happened?" Clarke stutters, halting in the entryway to the kitchen. It looked exactly like the apartment had, the same, but different, and Clarke had an uncomfortable feeling churning in her gut. 

 

"We think you should come down here miss." The man, who Clarke now knew was probably a nurse, replies. "Your fiancée should have someone with her." Clarke's eyes widen in horror at his words. 

 

"What? What do you mean?" Clarke rushes but there is no response to her question. 

 

She stumbles out of the kitchen, almost tripping over her own feet, and turns on her heel to the bedroom. She hangs up the phone, tossing it carelessly down onto the bed, not caring where it lands, and begins throwing on random pieces of clothes, not caring if they matched, or if they looked good, or anything, all she cared about was getting to Lexa. 

 

Clarke was pretty sure her heart was no longer beating, her heart was no longer in her chest, she couldn't feel it and time felt as though it was warped, like it was none existent, one second she's throwing on clothes and the next she's running through hospital hallways, crashing into people and shoving them out of the way. 

 

Everything seems like it's moving in slow motion, like those scenes in movies where the sound is muffled and the main character is sprinting towards something, their hair thrown back from how fast they’re running and the shake of their body as they put power into their strides,  _ that's  _ exactly what it felt like to Clarke. She was moving,  _ in slow motion _ , and everything else around her didn't seem to matter. 

 

She continues running down the hallway before skidding to a stop, time speeding up and catching up to her in an instant, and everything crashes back into focus: the sound of the continuous shrill alarm of a flatline rings out from the room to Clarke's right, she can hear loud shouting doctors ordering different things and the sound of bristling bodies brushing past her, the squeaking of shoes on the shiny surface of the floor as nurses shove past Clarke and barge into the room with a crash cart. Everything is in clear, sharp, focus and Clarke wishes for nothing more than for it to go back. 

 

Lexa is lying flat on her back on a gurney, her beautiful green eyes are closed, the team of doctors working on her are like a whirlwind as they rush around the room, her curly brown hair is strewn up and across the gurney in a beautiful fan shape and the heart monitor, that's connected to her, is a solid green line, emitting a constant flat line that causes Clarke's stomach to bottom out and her to feel like she might be physically sick. 

 

She steps forward, shuffling slowly in disbelief, she can just barely see her reflection in the windows to the room, the blinds are open, normally they close them when they know family is outside, normally they close the door so you can't hear them dying, Clarke knows this because she's a doctor, she knows that if they haven't noticed her then it's serious, she knows that Lexa is  _ dying _ . 

 

She places her palm against the window, feeling her warm tears pool in her eyes and she watches as the lead doctor grabs the paddles of the dip defibrillator before he yells  _ 'Clear!' _ and slams the paddles to Lexa's chest, pressing down on the buttons. Clarke watches as Lexa's entire body jolts upwards, the surge of electricity running through her and trying to kickstart the rhythm of her heart again, before she falls back down onto the gurney and the doctor begins CPR again. Clarke can't stand outside, she can't just stand there and watch as Lexa dies,  _ she can't. _

 

She enters the room, and stops dead in her tracks, seeing the amount of blood that stained the white shirt that Lexa was wearing, along with the blood on the gloves of the doctors, it was like a horror movie. "Lexa." Clarke breathes, barely audible over the loud noise of the doctors talking, but Clarke can't breathe, she feels like maybe she's forgotten  _ how  _ to breathe, just like Lexa has because she's not moving, her chest is not rising and falling steadily like Clarke remembers it to do. 

 

They shock her again and that's when Clarke breaks down. "Lexa!" Her voice is loud and desperate and the nearby nurses turn to look at her, rushing forward to probably escort her out of the room. " _ Lexa _ !" Clarke's voice is hoarse, like she's been shooting for Lexa for hours when it's only been one time, but, she supposes, maybe it has something to do with her inability to breathe. "Lexa! Get up! You have to get up!  _ Lexa _ !" Clarke yells, she's calling for her to come back to her because Lexa can't leave her here, she can't leave her all alone, they're not even married yet and Clarke loves her,  _ she can't go, she can't go _ . 

 

The nurse begins to push her back and Clarke shakes her head, fighting the nurse every step of the way. "I'm a doctor!" Clarke yells desperately but the nurse doesn't listen and Clarke can't leave, she can't leave, she  _ has  _ to stay, because if Lexa comes back she'll want to see her, because she's  _ going  _ to come back, she can't leave Clarke here alone. 

 

The nurse is persistent though and her grip on Clarke is strong, like iron, she swears she can hear her name being called, and it sounds vaguely like Lexa, so she can't leave, she's calling out to her, she just needs help to come back to her. Clarke jerks violently away from the nurse and lurches forward, her hands outstretched for her dying fiancée, her hands land on the brunette's ankles at the same time that she hears 

 

" _ Clear _ !" 

 

**//**

 

Clarke jerks awake, sitting bolt upright, sweating like crazy, and she could taste the salt of tears on her lips, an obvious sign that she had been crying, the lamp is turned on, illuminating the room in a soft golden glow, and Clarke's heart rate is going crazy and she feels like she might have actually been shocked. She takes deep breaths, hyperventilating and panicking in her frenzy. 

 

"Clarke." The voice is soothing and soft and Clarke closes her eyes at the sound of it. It feels like a soft embrace, like the single word alone spoken by  _ her  _ wraps itself around Clarke tightly, in a warm, comforting, embrace, bringing Clarke back to earth. Clarke looks to her right to see a wide eyed Lexa, her brown curls look crazy and Clarke feels the sob rip from her chest before she hears it. 

 

She tackles Lexa in a tight hug, burying her head deep into the crook of her neck and taking a deep inhale of her familiar scent. _ It was a dream, it was a dream, it was a dream. _ It wasn't real, Lexa was beside her the  _ whole  _ time, she was  _ breathing  _ the whole time, her heart was  _ beating  _ the whole time,  _ it wasn't real _ . 

 

Clarke's arms tighten further and Lexa seems to react by wrapping her arms tightly around Clarke's back and rubbing comforting circles there. "Clarke, hey, it's okay, it's okay, I'm here." Lexa coos and Clarke lets out a small whimper at her words. She was warm, just like Clarke remembered, her scent of pine and earth was better than the shaper metallic smell that had dominated Clarke's dream senses, the metallic smell of blood...  _ so much blood. _

 

Her tears seem like they don't want to stop, they just keep falling and falling, uncontrollably, as though her tear ducts haven't caught up with the fact that Lexa is here and she is  _ alive _ . Lexa just strokes Clarke's hair, gently rocking her ever so slightly to help calm Clarke's erratically beating heart and breaths, and she's more than content to stay like that for as long as Clarke needs. 

 

They stay like that for a while, Clarke sobbing into Lexa's shoulder, until the blonde pulls away abruptly to gaze up at Lexa instead. "You were-" Clarke chokes on her words and Lexa's brow furrows ever so slightly with her confusion and concern and Clarke would find the gesture cute if she didn't feel like her entire world had just crumbled a second ago. "You were  _ dead _ , you were, you were-" Clarke’s sobs cut off her words, her breaths coming out stuttered and ragged from her lungs exertion, and Lexa doesn't waste a second in bringing her hands up to cup Clarke's cheeks and run her thumbs through her tear track marks there. 

 

"Hey," She says gently, kissing Clarke on the nose, and Clarke loves that gesture more than anything and she briefly wonders if Lexa knows that or if it's just something that she does to calm Clarke. "It's okay, I'm here, I'm alive, I'm not hurt." She says reassuringly and Clarke looks up to meet her sparkling, emerald, green eyes. "Here." She grabs Clarke’s hand and lays it gently on her chest, right above her heart. "See?" Lexa asks with a comforting smile. "My heart's still beating, I'm okay." She reassures and Clarke stares at her hand. 

 

It's true, she can feel Lexa's heartbeat, and it's strong, and it's steady, and it's beating like a healthy heart should beat, but she can also feel her warmth and Clarke wonders when exactly Lexa's warmth became so comforting to her. "It's a little fast." Clarke whimpers and Lexa's lips spread into a wide smile that takes Clarke's breath away. 

 

"That's because you scared me, I was worried." Lexa confesses and Clarke could imagine that she was crying and whimpering and thrashing around in her sleep. "But also because you make me a little nervous." Lexa adds and Clarke looks back at her hand, concentrating on Lexa's heartbeat, she withdraws her hand and shifts away from Lexa, wiping at her face to clear away her tears. 

 

She knows what that dream was about:  _ Finn _ . His death hadn't been exactly like that but it had been kind of similar and, she couldn't lie, she was terrified of losing Lexa like she'd lost Finn, absolutely terrified, but the thought had been buried deep in her, covered by her love and by Lexa's love, for her to notice but, apparently, her subconscious wanted to give her the worst kind of wake up call that she's ever had. Her fear was staring her right in the face and she was hysterical. 

 

She feels Lexa's arm snake around her waist and the girl drops her chin onto Clarke's shoulder in the hopes of getting her attention. "Promise me," Clarke states turning to face Lexa and Lexa gives her a look to continue, her green eyes wide and open and glossy. "promise me that, if we ever fight, you won't run out on me." Clarke demands and Lexa's eyes soften immediately. Her head turns to the side in a sympathetic kind of gesture and her body sags at just how broken Clarke sounds, and Clarke's well aware that she sounds broken, but she's just woken up from her biggest a nightmare, drowning be damned, and she needs Lexa's reassurance. 

 

"Clarke-" Lexa begins gently and Clarke shakes her head, stopping Lexa before she can continue. 

 

" _ Promise _ me!" Clarke interrupts, shaking her head, not wanting any other words other than ‘I promise’ to leave Lexa's lips next. Lexa gives her a sad smile and wraps both her arms around Clarke's waist, pulling her closer to her. 

 

"I-I promise." Lexa stumbles over her words when she feels Clarke's shaking form. "Clarke, I promise that, if we ever have a fight, I won't run away, okay? We’ll sit, and we'll talk it out, we’ll-" Lexa pauses and places a soft kiss to the top Clarke's head. "I won't  _ ever  _ run out on you, I promise." She mumbles into Clarke's hair. "You're stuck with me, okay, if it gets that bad I'll sleep on the couch, but I'm not going to run away Clarke, I swear it to you." 

 

"Finn ran out." Clarke mutters, her voice is barely audible, but, in the dead of the night, the silence of the room, she knows that Lexa can hear her. 

 

"I'm not Finn." Lexa states. "And you're not Costia, Clarke, we’re both alive, and we both know what's best for each other." Clarke remains silent and Lexa sighs tugging Clarke even tighter to her chest. "Clarke, I feel like I've known you my whole life, okay, I know you better then I know myself, and I’d never ever run away from you Clarke, you're the other half of me,  _ literally _ , it's like I didn't even fully exist until you wandered into my life." Clarke closes her eyes and collapses against Lexa's chest, letting out a long sigh. 

 

"I feel the same way." Clarke breathes. 

 

"Right." Lexa says. "So you don't have to worry, I'm here and you're stuck with me." 

 

"Stuck with you?" Clarke asks, scrunching up her nose, and she feels Lexa's chuckle rattle through her chest. The brunette pulls them down, so that they’re lying in each other's arms, tight, and warm, and cozy, which feels almost like perfection to Clarke. 

 

"Yes, stuck with me." Lexa says and Clarke wants to argue that being with Lexa is nothing like a chore like she's implying, but her breaths are evening out, and her heart beat doesn't feel like an electric shock just fired through her body, and she realises it's because Lexa is soothing her, her presence alone had soothed Clarke, she could've bet that, even if Lexa hadn't have said anything, Clarke still would've been comforted by just having her near. 

 

"You'd really sleep on the couch?" Clarke asks, feeling small and vulnerable, but she smiles when she hears Lexa laugh and the brunette presses another kiss to the top of Clarke's head. 

 

"Yes I would." She confirms. 

 

"But you hate sleeping on that couch, you say it gives you a stiff neck." Clarke points out and Lexa shrugs. Clarke feels the need to scoot even closer to Lexa, closing her eyes and allowing the calming effects of early stages of sleep to seep in. 

 

"I'd do it for you." Lexa replies and Clarke actually laughs at that, it's weak, and more like a shaky breath, but it's there and Lexa takes pride in it. The brunette moves to go turn the lamp off again and Clarke is hit with the memory of the dark room she had woken up in in her dream and her heart lurches and her arms tighten around Lexa in an almost iron grip to keep her from moving anymore. Lexa seems to get it immediately and falls back into Clarke. 

 

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Lexa asks gently, nuzzling into Clarke's neck and planting a soft kiss there. Clarke takes a deep breath, closing her eyes at the feeling of Lexa, and exhales slowly, calming and centring herself. 

 

"I woke up and you weren't there." Clarke admits, the words come out raggard and breathless. Lexa kisses her neck again, humming for Clarke to continue, while her hands moved from the blonde's hips, under her shirt, to rub up and down Clarke's body in a way to offer even more comfort. "I got a call, my phone was ringing, so I answered it." Clarke continues. "There was a voice on the other end of the line, at first I didn't know what was going on, I was just wondering through the apartment to try to find you, and then the guy tells me that you've been in an accident." Lexa's body tenses at that and Clarke knows it's because it probably reminds Lexa of her own trauma as well, of getting that knock on her door, and the phone ringing in the dead of the night haunts Clarke as a result of her own trauma. 

 

That's the thing, Lexa gets it, she totally understands what Clarke's going through, the fear of it all, and that's comforting because, if she had been with anyone else who didn't understand, they wouldn't know what to say like Lexa does, they wouldn't  _ soothe  _ Clarke quite like Lexa does. 

 

Lexa slowly relaxes against Clarke, though her arms around her don't loosen, and they continue their soothing movements. "Then I was in the hospital, and you were dying, you were  _ dead  _ Lexa." Clarke says with a crack in her voice that causes her voice to break slightly. "And the blood, God, there was  _ so  _ much blood." 

 

" _ Shhh _ ." Lexa shushes gently. She moves her hands from Clarke's back and takes the blonde’s hands, bringing them to rest under her own shirt. Clarke lets out a soft sigh, at the smooth warm feeling of Lexa's stomach under her palms, and in a little relief at the lack of any sign of injury. She knows that had been Lexa's intention, to help make Clarke feel better, and Clarke didn't understand how someone could just totally understand what she needed without her even having to say anything,  _ she just knows _ , and Clarke finds the whole thing a little unfair, but it's one of the things that Clarke loves about the brunette, her empathy is astounding, a quality that Clarke wishes she had as much of as Lexa does. 

 

"Sleep Clarke." Lexa mumbles against her head and Clarke snuggles up to her fiancée's chest. 

 

"I can't." Clarke whispers, her voice barely audible, but Lexa hears her. She couldn't possibly sleep after that horrible horrible dream and she's not confident, that when she closes her eyes again, she won't be greeted by the sight of Lexa's still cold body rather than her warm alive body. 

 

"Just close your eyes." Lexa says quietly. "I'll stay awake until you fall asleep." She promises and Clarke lets out a small sigh that resembles more of a breathy laugh. 

 

"You have work  tomorrow ." Clarke protests. "I'm a surgical intern, sleepiness is apart of my job description, but you're a hotshot lawyer, you should sleep." 

 

"Clarke." Lexa says firmly, calmly, her voice saying Clarke's name is like a lullaby all on its own and Clarke smiles at the sound. "I'll stay awake until you fall asleep." Lexa says, leaving no room for argument, and Clarke's heart swells in her chest at her words. 

 

Clarke doesn't bother to argue with the brunette, because she's pretty sure she'd lose that particular argument anyway, so she just keeps her mouth shut and listens to Lexa's steady breaths deep and full, wrapped in her arms, peacefully and calm. It takes a moment but, when Clarke listens closely enough, she can hear the beating of Lexa's heart in her chest along with the breaths that escape her lips. It's a unique lullaby, one that Clarke doesn't know how she ever slept without before, it's the sweetest kind of symphony, music to Clarke's ears, and it's not long before she's falling asleep to the strong and steady heartbeat of Lexa.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so not only did I get inspiration from Teen Wolf but also from Grey's Anatomy because I've been re-watching it all the way from the beginning and Meredith has a dream about Derek dying and yeah it inspired me to do something like that. Anywho, the after math of the dream was actually one of my favorites to write, just Lexa being there to hold Clarke, and tell her that she's okay, and that she's alive, it's so sad but beautiful at the same time. The shower scene, however, was a close second - actually, the whole morning scene was pretty fun to write. I'll stop talking now, hey, thanks for reading! Drop me a line in the comments and, if you want, you can come say hi to me on tumblr @ sparia-slays (yeah, except all I post is Clexa now).


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "That's illegal," Lexa comments and Clarke laughs. "but I'd break the rules for you." 
> 
> "I feel honoured, Lexa Woods would break the law for me? Wow, this is something for the history books-" Clarke says sarcastically when Lexa cuts her off with a well placed eye roll and a gentle teasing dig to the blonde's side. Clarke giggles at the gesture and Lexa shakes her head. 
> 
> "I'd do anything for you Clarke," 
> 
> Or, Clexa cuteness, wedding planning and Raven and Anya reunite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's been forever since I updated, damn, but life got busy all of a sudden, and I had barely anytime to write, but it's here and it's extra long for y'all. I finally got my GCSE results (I got 6 A's, 5 B's and 1 C), I enrolled in Sixth Form (I'm taking History, Classical Civilisation and Law) and I officially turned 17 on Thursday so there's that, I've just been super busy. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Smaller than dust on this map**   
**Lies the greatest thing we have:**   
**The dirt in which our roots may grow**   
**And the right to call it home.**

**\- Sleeping At Last, North**

* * *

 

**1 Month Later... (4 Months till the wedding)**

Clarke's job was killing her. Okay, maybe she was being a tad bit dramatic but, she forgot how much work it was being a surgical resident, and the amount of crap you went through, but she was at least relieved she wasn't an intern and was a resident, it meant she had her own little army of interns, who she could boss around to do her bidding for her, which took a little heat off of Clarke. Plus, although she was under pressure to perform at her very best, if she actually did mess up, it was officially her attending's fault, not Clarke’s, and while that might seem unfair it didn't mean that you didn't receive a whopping speech about how useless you were and how reckless you were in doing your job - not that Clarke had received said speech but she knew someone who had and she didn't ever want to screw up,  _ ever _ , but she's a resident, she's bound to make a mistake at some point. 

Aside from the pressure to perform, there's also the fact that working at the hospital means long hours, and long hours means that she hasn't been seeing as much of Lexa as she would like too, but, Clarke supposes, it helps with their ‘no sex’ rule if anything. Lexa has been busy herself, with early mornings and late nights at the office, and Clarke's proud of her, but she feels as though she hasn't seen her fiancée at all the past month. 

Clarke unlocks the door to their apartment, somehow, Lexa had convinced Raven to move in with Lincoln so they had more privacy to be a couple and, since Raven came over literally every day anyway, it was like nothing had changed, it just meant that Raven wasn't crowding their space as much, it was also probably why Lexa was comfortable enough to half undress herself. 

Clarke smiles brightly at the sight before her, dropping her keys in the bowl by the door and stepping into the living room. Lexa's button down was halfway unbuttoned, untucked from her pants, which were halfway down her thighs, showing off a generous amount of toned legs and her very pretty underwear, on top of her was Oreo, who was asleep much like the woman below him who seemed dead to the world. 

Clarke chuckles softly at the sight, traveling further into the room, she spots a glass of what looks like whiskey half full, along with the open bottle beside it on the coffee table and Clarke frowns in confusion. Lexa occasionally had a beer, and Clarke had seen the other more  _ harder  _ liquor that she kept tucked away, but Lexa rarely drank it so she was a little confused as to why she would now. 

Clarke drifts towards Lexa who was stretched out on the couch, her chest rising and falling with her deep sleepy breaths, and the blonde perches herself on the edge of the couch, staring down at the brunette while being careful to avoid stirring Oreo while she was at it. "Lex." Clarke whispers gently, she runs her finger gently over the woman's brow, dusting a few strands of brown hair back. "Babe, wake up." Clarke says leaning forward to kiss Lexa on the lips. The girl mumbles something and a small smile tugs at the corner of her lips which causes Clarke's own smile to widen. 

Clarke leans forward again and kisses Lexa more slowly, gently nipping at Lexa's bottom lip, when she feels the brunette respond. "Mmm?" Lexa hums sleepily with her eyes fluttering open and closed repetitively. Clarke smiles against her fiancée's lips before pulling away. Lexa lets out a whimper of disapproval and then blinks open her eyes, giving Clarke an adorable pout. "Why did you stop?" Lexa asks and Clarke rolls her eyes. 

"I think the more important question here is, why are you half undressed?" Clarke asks, raising an eyebrow, and Lexa glances down at herself. She seems almost surprised when she sees her attire before she shrugs her shoulder and ushers Oreo off of her stomach. She props herself up onto her elbows and stares at Clarke for a second. 

"I was tired." She answers. "How was your day?" Lexa asks curiously, pulling Clarke down beside her. Clarke giggles as Lexa wraps her arms around her and turns on her side so Clarke can lie on her back and be able to look up at Lexa who had her head propped against the palm of her hand. 

"The usual," Clarke shrugs. "I got vomited on at least three times and my highlight of the day was that Wells got his first solo surgery." Clarke reiterates her day and Lexa snorts. 

"Maybe you should go shower and change before I cuddle you pukey." Lexa says dryly and Clarke rolls her eyes. 

"I obviously showered before I came home," Clarke says, tugging Lexa back towards her. "who do you take me for?" 

"Clarke Griffin." Lexa replies simply, shifting so she was above the blonde. "My fiancée, whom, actually, is quite messy, so a skipping a shower after being puked on is not entirely out of the question." Clarke scoffs and gives Lexa an offended look - though the playful goofy smile on her face probably gave her away. 

"Maybe I just won't shower for three weeks straight then." Clarke says, pushing Lexa off of her and sitting up, pretending to be mad with Lexa when, really, she found her entirely too cute. 

"Clarke no," Lexa says, giving Clarke a grimace just for show. "think of your hair." Lexa says while twirling a loose strand of blonde between her fingers. "I'd be forced to light scented candles everywhere you went." 

"You have enough to do just that." Clarke responds, shoving Lexa backwards, she laughs when the brunette lands on her back and then looks up with an offended expression. 

"Not you too," Lexa complains. "first Anya and Lincoln stage an intervention, now  _ you're  _ claiming I have too many." 

"Not too many," Clarke corrects, placing her hand under Lexa's chin and pulling her gently to look at her. "just enough." Clarke pecks Lexa on her pouting lips. Her eyes focus back on the whiskey and she reaches for it, very aware of the green eyes following her movements. 

Clarke turns back to Lexa and raises an eyebrow, holding the whiskey bottle up and shaking it slightly, waiting for Lexa to explain, when she doesn't, Clarke figures it's up to her to breach the subject. "Hard day at work?" Clarke asks - she adds just enough tease to her voice to make the question light but Lexa's gaze drops and she ducks her head. Clarke narrows her eyes at Lexa in suspicion, sure, Lexa wasn't exactly an open book when it came to her emotions, but she never normally tried to hide it from Clarke, and she certainly never tried to drink to hide them either. 

"It's nothing," Lexa responds. "just a client today..." Lexa lets out a huff and Clarke frowns at the fact that she's not meeting her eyes. "It's stupid." 

"Hey," Clarke places the bottle of whiskey back on the coffee table and scoots closer to her fiancée, wrapping an arm around the back of her waist, she leans her chin on Lexa's shoulder and forces the girl to turn to look at her. "anything that upsets you is not stupid or nothing." Clarke scolds, but her voice is light, and she gives Lexa a small reassuring smile. "Tell me." 

"A client today," Lexa begins, giving in to Clarke's gentle coaxing, Clarke always knew how to get through to Lexa. "we were talking about his case and then... I like to get to know my clients, you know?" Lexa asks frowning and Clarke nods her head understandably - though it's a little hard with her chin resting on Lexa's shoulder but she does it nethertheless. "It makes for a stronger case, I get to know my client, they get to know me, I can build a better case, the basics of law school, I mean, I don't go into too much detail, I just scratch the surface, basic stuff, you know, like how I'm engaged." Clarke watches as Lexa's frown deepens and Clarke understood what she was getting at; Lexa gave them small details of herself but she never  _ really  _ got to know them because once a case was over, chances were, you'd never see the client again - though Echo was an exception - and an engagement is something people can connect over,  _ especially  _ if the client is already married or engaged themselves, so Clarke understood, what she didn't understand was Lexa's frown, or the nervous wringing of her hands, and the blonde squeezes her waist comfortingly to calm the brunette. 

"I told him I was engaged." Lexa starts and Clarke stares at the side of Lexa's head as the brunette focuses on something in front of her. "Then I talked about you for a little and I let slip that you were a girl." Clarke feels the words like a slap across the face, and she's pretty sure Lexa probably felt the exact same way when whatever had happened had gone down, she takes a sharp breath in and leans away from Lexa slightly. She's not mad, hell no she's not mad, well, she's not mad at  _ Lexa _ , at whoever this douchecanoe was, well, that was a totally different story. 

Lexa nods her head her shoulders sagging a little as she continued on. "I didn't think anything of it you know, he just asked what my fiancée was like and I said, well she's a doctor, and, before I could even say anymore words, he was standing up from his seat." Lexa turns to look at Clarke. "He spat the word she at me and the anger Clarke, god, the anger, that's what really scared me." Clarke's heart breaks in her chest, Lexa's eyes were watery, though Clarke knows she won't cry, but to receive such behaviour in her workplace, from a potential client, it was understandable why Lexa had been so shaken. 

"He started shouting all these slurs and I just sat there until Indra noticed the commotion and started screaming at the guy." Lexa sighs. "I was frozen, I haven't felt that way since high school." Lexa hated to feel weak, Clarke knew that, she hated feeling helpless and at someone else's mercy, she hates it, and the fact that Lexa had spent most of her high school life with this kind of abuse made Clarke squirm with anger at whoever that jerk was. 

"Lexa..." Clarke says softly, bringing her hands up to cup her jaw in her hands. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that." Clarke couldn't believe it if she was honest. "Some people are just stupid, they don't understand sexualities, I mean, some people just completely erase mine, they say it isn't real." Clarke soothes. "It doesn't mean that it isn't real, it doesn't make us any less than them, you know what, I think it makes us bigger, we live our lives true to ourselves and that's all anyone should care about, that you're being true to yourself." Clarke shakes her head in annoyance. "It's 2016, some people need to wake up and smell the damn equal marriage rights." Clarke says. Lexa turns to look at her, and she just stares for a moment, before Clarke's hit with a blinding smile. 

"I love you." Lexa says, tackling Clarke to the couch. "God Clarke, I love you  _ so  _ much." Clarke giggles under Lexa and places a finger to the brunette's bottom lip. Lexa leans down and closes the space between them, kissing Clarke on her lips before moving to her jaw and down her neck with whispered ‘I love you's’ as she went. 

"You know, once someone told me that bisexuals didn't exist." Clarke comments as Lexa continues kissing her neck. 

"They do," Lexa mumbles against her skin. "and I'm marrying one." 

"They gave me that bullshit quote ‘God said Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve’ and do you know what I said?" Clarke asks, threading her fingers through Lexa's wavy brown hair. 

"Enlighten me." Lexa purrs and Clarke smiles at the sound. 

"I said, God said Adam and Even so I did both." Clarke states and then Lexa laughs, pulling back to look at Clarke properly, she doesn't say anything, but she doesn't really have to, they just stare at each other, Lexa's eyes darting from Clarke's blue eyes to her lips and Clarke's eyes darting from Lexa's emerald eyes to her soft lips, the atmosphere thickening between them so it's almost suffocating, a charge of electricity flowing between them. 

"I love you Lexa." Clarke says, breaking the silence. "I think I've always loved you." Lexa turns her head to the side, in her adorable puppy way, and Clarke chuckles. "I don't know, this just doesn't feel like the first time I've loved you." Clarke confesses. "Hey, maybe it's like something out of one of those cheesy romance movies you love, when they’ve been together in past lives." 

"You believe that?" Lexa asks with a fond smile, separating herself from Clarke. 

"I believe that one lifetime is not enough to love you." Clarke says, leaning up to kiss Lexa on the cheek. 

"Even through all the tragedy?" Lexa asks with a raised brow and Clarke stands up, walking towards the kitchen. 

"We were made for each other." Clarke mutters but Lexa doesn't quite catch it. 

"What?" Lexa asks, and Clarke looks back at her fiancée losing her nerve, she'd already said some pretty heavy things, she didn't want Lexa feeling overwhelmed and then force the girl to run or something. 

"Nothing," Clarke says dismissively. "I just said that maybe we needed that tragedy to find each other." Lexa gives her an unconvinced look, and Clarke knows it's because her words weren't that long, but then she just gives Clarke her almost smile, the lopsided one, and Clarke feels her chest warm. 

"A package came for you," Lexa informs. "it's in the kitchen." She adds and Clarke waves at her over her shoulder. 

She enters the kitchen and sees the package addressed to her on the dining table. Clarke begins opening it, listening as Lexa moves around in the living room, she opens the box to find her new art supplies sitting in front of her, Clarke had bought them along with a studio space in town and she had the idea of even purchasing a gallery like her father had. 

Clarke pulls out her multitude of new brushes and paints and smiles happily at them, she couldn't wait to use them, the only thing was, she didn't have anything to actually use them on, not in the apartment anyway, if she was in her studio she would, then, Clarke gets an idea. 

She heads out into the living room to find Lexa had closed the bottle of whiskey and was heading towards the bedroom - probably to get undressed fully. "Hey Lex," Clarke calls, halting the brunette in her path. "do you think maybe you could just throw on a sports bra and stay shirtless?" Clarke asks with a smirk. Lexa frowns in confusion at the blonde, clearly not understanding what Clarke was hinting at. 

"That's kind of an odd request Clarke." Lexa replies, her hands crossing across her chest. 

"Is the excuse that I like to see you shirtless a good enough excuse?" Clarke asks with a teasing smile and Lexa rolls her eyes, beginning to unbutton her shirt. 

"It would be if that was true." She replies sarcastically and Clarke snorts because Lexa shirtless kind of was her favourite thing. "Seriously though," She says. "what are you planning." Maybe Lexa knew Clarke a little too well but Clarke just grins back brightly. 

"Alright," Clarke gives in. "the package was my new paint supplies, I want to try them out." Clarke states and Lexa stares at her dumbfounded. "On you." Lexa's eyes widen almost comically and Clarke stifles a laugh as the, usually graceful, brunette stumbles on her feet even though she was stood still. 

" _ On me _ ?" Lexa asks in confusion. "You mean, my body?" She asks just to clarify and Clarke nods in response. "No way." 

"What? Lexa, come on." Clarke whines likes a five year old and juts her bottom lip out in a big pout. 

"Clarke..." Lexa says warningly, with a sigh of exasperation, and Clarke knows just how to get Lexa to do something that she wants. "What if I'm allergic to it or something?" Lexa asks, clearly searching for an out. 

"Well, have you used paint before?" Clarke asks, raising her eyebrows at the brunette who shifts from foot to foot. 

"Yes..." She replies. 

"And did you get a little on yourself?" Clarke asks and she knows she has Lexa when the brunette narrows her eyes and gives Clarke a small scowl. 

"Yes..." 

"Then you're not allergic to paint Lexa." Clarke replies, but the brunette is just as stubborn as she is so, Clarke's not all that surprised when Lexa starts protesting again. 

"Not all paint is the same." She fires back, giving Clarke a smug look, and Clarke decides she has to play the medical degree card. 

"I'm a doctor Lexa, if you have an allergic reaction, I think I'll know." Clarke says dryly and Lexa grumbles at the response. Check mate. "And, I guess, if you have an anaphylaxis reaction I could give you mouth to mouth." 

"I don't know what that is but it sounds serious," Lexa says stubbornly. "and I'd rather not have it." 

"Lexa, it's literally the rarest allergic reaction out there, now shut up, take your shirt off and lie down on the bed." Clarke orders. Lexa gives her one last look before she gives in, really, she had no chance to begin with - no way Lexa wouldn't try to give Clarke all that she wanted. 

Lexa enters the bedroom and Clarke turns excitedly to retrieve her new paints and brushes, along with an old rag in case she made a mistake and needed to correct it. She practically skips to bedroom and smiles happily when she sees her fiancée clad in a pair of boxers and a sports bra, showing off her perfect physique, she'd even tied her hair up into a messy bun with strands of brown falling out of it. 

She settles on her stomach and Clarke lies on her own on the opposite side that Lexa was on and smiles when the brunette offers up the inside of her left arm. "Design me a tattoo." Lexa says, her past stubbornness gone, and, if Clarke wasn't mistaken, she was pretty sure the brunette was looking forward to being painted on by Clarke as much as Clarke was looking forward to be painting on Lexa. 

"You sure?" Clarke asks lightly as she pulls her black paint out. She flashes Lexa a playful smile and the brunette let's out a breath of air that resembles mostly a laugh and a sigh. "You might be allergic." Clarke teases and Lexa retracts her arm. 

"You’re right, maybe we shoul-" Lexa stops talking when Clarke snatches her arm back and gives Lexa a playful scowl. 

"Shut up." Clarke grumbles. "Let me paint." 

"Sorry Picasso." Lexa says with a grin and Clarke smiles softly at the old nickname Lexa had given her a while ago. 

She doesn't know what she even begins painting, she just starts painting black paint on Lexa's inner arm while the brunette watches idly. Clarke can feel the brunette watching her, and she can vividly imagine Lexa's green eyes traveling back and forth between her forearm that Clarke was painting and Clarke's face, it's oddly comforting, the silence, paired with Lexa's presence, Clarke had almost forgotten how much she missed the calming aroma that came with Lexa practically everywhere she went. "How was the hospital?" Lexa mumbles. "Are you okay... ever since that dream?" Lexa asks and Clarke pauses for a moment before bringing her brush back to Lexa's skin. 

"It's a little hard I guess." Clarke admits. "It's not everyday someone like Finn's condition comes in, and I think my dream was a little anxiety about losing you," Clarke pauses again, feeling Lexa's eyes firmly on her face, her green eyes probably searching her features for some kind of tell to say that Clarke wasn't fine, she was fine, kind of, it's not like Arkadia is anything like the hospital that Finn had died in but, all hospitals have that smell, and the sounds are pretty similar, but Clarke's okay, she can handle it, she isn't as affected by the incident as she once was. 

"You know," Clarke begins, dipping her brush into the black paint to replenish the supply on it. "you go to med school with these bright expectations of becoming a doctor and saving lives, but they never tell you just how sucky being a doctor is." Clarke says and Lexa listens intently, humming in a gesture for Clarke to continue. "It's just, telling people that a loved one has died is so hard, but then you have the saves, and the saves are the highlight of the job, obviously, but being a doctor... it’s just so bittersweet." Clarke lets her comment hang in the air between them a little longer and Lexa remains silent, letting her warm calming presence soothe Clarke rather than her velvety voice. "I don't know if I'm cut out to be a doctor," Clarke confesses. "I love the saving but... the losses, they get to you." 

"You're an amazing doctor Clarke," Lexa reassures. "I mean, I should know, you patched up my hand when I punched that guy," Clarke laughs at that, shaking her head in fond amusement, Lexa always knew how to comfort Clarke, she knew exactly what to say, no matter what, and she was someone who Clarke knew she could rely on. "but you can't save everyone." Lexa says quietly. "If you want to quit being a doctor then I'll be behind you, one hundred percent, so long as you're happy, but I don't think you want to quit being a doctor, it's in your nature to look after everyone you meet, you have the biggest heart I know and that's why I love you." Clarke stops her painting and lets out a deep sigh. She lets the words sink into her bones and into her soul. 

Lexa was right, of course Lexa was right, she always was, it was in Clarke's nature to take care of others before herself, she got it from her dad, which was surprising since Abby was the doctor, and, yeah, sometimes being a doctor really,  _ really _ , sucks but you have to take the good with the bad, it's all apart of the job, and Clarke knew that from the beginning. 

Clarke smiles brightly at Lexa and the brunette leans forward to gently brush her lips over the top of Clarke's nose. Lexa settles back again and Clarke lets out a small laugh, shaking her head in infatuation. "You're such a sap." Clarke comments going back to her painting. "You're the sappiest person I've ever met." 

"I'm not  _ that  _ sappy." Lexa protests and Clarke just laughs. She doesn't bother to respond but Lexa totally is a huge softie, despite her protests of being a big bad lawyer, she's the softest person Clarke knows and her soft eyes are the most beautiful things in the world and her almost smile is the warmest smile Clarke's ever seen. 

Clarke stops her painting when she realises she's done with it, she leans closer to the paint and blows on it in an attempt to dry it before anything else. Lexa looks down at the painting and smiles at the sight. It was a tree. Clarke wasn't sure why she'd chosen to draw a tree, she had just went with her gut, she'd painted the roots of the tree, and the branches were bare of leaves with twisting branches, it was life like and the black paint against Lexa's skin made the tattoo look almost bright and bold. 

Lexa brings her finger to it and hesitantly traces her fingers over the painting, just above the skin, so she wasn't actually touching the paint, so she wouldn't smudge it. "What does it mean?" Lexa asks quietly, her face a little full of wonder. Clarke stares at the tree for a moment. 

"Lots of things," Clarke admits, scooting closer. "trees can represent a lot of things, history, family, new beginnings, cycles,  _ life _ ." Clarke lists off. Her index finger trails down to the roots and she points at them with a smile. "Roots," She says. "an anchor, finding someone who keeps you rooted to the ground," Clarke runs her finger up Lexa's arm to the middle of the painting. "the trunk, the strongest part, someone who keeps you up right and supports you." Clarke smiles when she hears Lexa take a breath in as she raises higher. "The branches are the best part though," Clarke says fondly. "history, family, memories, that are all intertwined." She then runs her hand over the top of the painting, not touching it but gesturing to the whole picture. "Life." Clarke whispers. 

"It's beautiful." Lexa murmurs quietly and Clarke smiles, looking up to meet Lexa's eyes which were sparkling slightly. 

"Yeah," Clarke eyes slip to Lexa's lips. "it is." Clarke pulls Lexa down to meet her lips, closing her eyes and relishing in the feeling, kissing Lexa never gets old, even pecks and kisses to the cheek gets Clarke's heart beating out of her chest. Clarke pushes against Lexa's lips and pulls the girl towards her, onto her back, and Lexa goes without much complaint other than a grunt of surprise. 

Once she's on her back Clarke pulls her lips away and grins at Lexa, running her hand over the brunette's stomach, which tenses at the contact, and Clarke feels a small amount of satisfaction when Lexa lets out a small gasp and shudders from the contact. "This is my new canvas." Clarke says, running her fingers affectionately over Lexa's flat stomach. "It's perfect, smooth, yet firm." Clarke teases and Lexa rolls her eyes, but she doesn't protest, Clarke begins painting, using different colours now. 

Clarke begins painting and laughs when she hears Lexa giggle -  _ she actually giggles _ \- at the soft brushes of Clarke's paintbrush - it was obviously tickling her. They stay silent for awhile, the only sound between them the soft sound of Clarke's paintbrush and Lexa’s soft breaths. "Hey Lex?" Clarke asks quietly, her attention completely on what she was painting, but she listens as Lexa hums in question. "Do you ever think about the future?" Clarke asks curiously. "About what we're going to be like when we're old and grey?" She continues as Lexa lies back down to face the ceiling. 

"I'd hope that we'd still be together." Lexa responds. 

"You think we wouldn't be?" Clarke asks, raising her eyebrows and looking up at Lexa who was smiling and shaking her head. 

"I'm a lot to deal with Clarke," Lexa responds. "do you really think you can deal with me for the rest of our lives?" 

"That's the plan," Clarke answers. "and you're not that much of a handful, we balance each other out, we’re practically the ultimate team." Clarke says with a smile and Lexa chuckles. 

"You're right, you're the one who's a little hard to handle." Lexa says lightly, which earns her a hit on the shoulder from Clarke. "Hey, I heard about your old nickname, Party Girl Griffin right?" 

"Oh my God, I'm going to kill Raven." Clarke grumbles and Lexa just laughs, shrugging her shoulders. 

They fall into silence again, with Lexa marinating in thought and Clarke concentrating on painting. "I imagine that we'd be living in a house just outside of the city, with a white picket fence, and ice cream trucks, and friendly neighbours that aren't our best friends, a house which we can call our own," She flashes her tree on the inside of her arm. "where our roots can grow." Clarke smiles softly to herself and she pauses for a moment, hesitating with her next question. 

"And kids?" She asks. Lexa barely even bats an eyelash at the question, like it was a no brainier. 

"Two," She answers and Clarke can't get over how she states it as a fact, like she's already thought this all out before. "one girl and one boy." She says and then she pauses, looking up at Clarke. "One will be just like you, blonde hair, blue eyes and beautiful." 

"Shut up." Clarke says blushing. Lexa chuckles and falls back into the bed. "Tell me about the house." Clarke says. It takes a moment for Lexa to reply as she bites her lip in thought and continues to stare up at the ceiling. 

"It's close to the city, for practicality, but it's far enough away that it's quiet at night and during the day, there's a large lawn with an even bigger back yard for the inevitable dog we'll get because you and the kids will bug me until I give in-" 

"That probably wouldn't take very much." Clarke teases because she'd gotten Lexa to let her paint on her after all. Lexa just grunts in faux annoyance and Clarke sees right through it. 

"Oreo will be upset with us, but he loves me, so I'll talk him down." Lexa winks and Clarke snorts at how dorky that statement really was. "Four bedrooms, one is our's, of course, one is Ad- the boy's room, and the other the girl's," Clarke raises an eyebrow at the almost slip that Lexa had done, it sounded like she was about to say a name, but she chooses to question her on it later and listen to her description of what was sounding more and more like their dream house by the second. "the fourth would be a nursery for a possible third child, then we'd have a study, so I could work from home and be there more for my beautiful wife and children, of course there'd be a studio room, so you wouldn't have to go into the city every time to just paint, then the basics, bathrooms, living room, kitchen, dining room." Lexa lists almost dreamily. 

"The walls would be lined with photos from memories that we've made as a family," Lexa says. "and we'd grow old together in that house, we'd watch our kids grow up, we'd mark the inside of a door with how tall each of them are at different ages, there'd be chips and dents full of different memories, maybe I'll even build a treehouse in the back yard." 

"That sounds like a health hazard." Clarke snorts and Lexa rolls her eyes. 

"I knew you'd need convincing." Lexa says. "We'd be a family, and watch as our family grows up and leaves, there'll be tears and fights in that house, but it'll be our home,  _ our's _ , forever." Lexa says softly and Clarke smiles at the thought. She wanted that, she wanted all of that, and she wanted it with Lexa and no one else. 

"You're my home." Clarke confesses and Lexa looks up, propping herself up on her elbows, and gives Clarke the brightest smile that Clarke's ever seen the girl wear. 

"You're my home too." Lexa replies. Clarke smiles, and then shoves Lexa back down to the mattress so she can finish her painting, and Lexa just simply chuckles at the action. "You know your mom made an appointment for us to check out some kind of place for the wedding, and my mom and I are going tux shopping tomorrow,  _ and  _ we have cake tasting, which I promised Raven we'd take her to, otherwise she would kill me." 

"An excuse to eat cake? How nice." Clarke says dryly and Lexa laughs. At some point, Oreo joins the couple on the bed and curls beside Lexa so she can stroke through his hair and keep him company while Clarke paints. Clarke's very aware that Lexa's watching her closely, and she's very aware that her tongue is peeking through her lips between her teeth because that's what Clarke tended to do in concentration, but she was trying so hard not to blush from Lexa's attention and just concentrate on the painting instead. 

Once Clarke's done, she stands up from the bed, packing away her paints which really were a high quality now that she'd seen them on Lexa's skin, she stares down at her painting and watches as Lexa sits up to examine it herself. Clarke bites her lip nervously as Lexa looks at the painting and then the brunette looks up at Clarke with wide eyes. "Clarke," Lexa looks down again and then back up. "this is beautiful." It was simple really, just a mix of paints to create a dark purple colour along with the light colour, it was a galaxy, painted on Lexa's stomach, and Lexa loved it.

Clarke shrugs her shoulder coyly and Lexa pulls her back down to the bed. "I should get this tattoo sometime." Lexa decides. "I like it." She comments and Clarke smiles fondly. "So why did you paint a galaxy?" Lexa asks curiously and Clarke shrugs, honestly, she did it because it seemed like the most simple and fun thing to paint onto someone, but she didn't opt for that answer. 

"Because you are my universe." Clarke says with a cheesy smile and Lexa rolls her eyes, giving Clarke a goofy smile back. 

"And you call  _ me  _ the sap?" She asks in a teasing tone and Clarke shoves her shoulder. 

"Whatever, go shower so we can go to bed." Clarke orders. Lexa had her tux fitting tomorrow, while Clarke would be at work, but Clarke had the next day off, so she could look forward to spending that day with Lexa then, though they would be carrying out wedding stuff, but anytime with Lexa was a good time. 

"Fine." Lexa huffs before she wipes her arm across Clarke's face. Clarke squeals in protest, trying to shove the girl away, but it's futile, Lexa is stronger and she's faster. "I think you should join me too Clarke, you have a little something right there." 

"I hate you." Clarke says with a pout and Lexa laughs, pulling them both up to stand. 

"No you don't." She states before walking towards the bathroom. Clarke watches after her for a moment, a smile tugging at her lips. 

"No," Clarke says to a room full of no one, and she's pretty sure Lexa can't hear her, so it's pretty much all to herself. "I don't." She whispers.

**//**

Lexa hated shopping, she always has, and she probably always will, but going with your mother is a new kind of torture. Lincoln had come along too, for support, since he was on call and didn't have to strictly be at the hospital, unless he was needed, the thing was, Lincoln was a great buffer, if he sensed Lexa getting agitated he would shift the conversation over to himself. 

Lexa was trying on what must be her fifth tux after her mother had showed her nose up to all the others and, honestly, Lexa didn't know what was wrong with a single one of them but she did as she was told. She was pulling on the blazer of her most recent tux, after she had just tied the bow tie, and then gave a small sigh. 

She examines her appearance in the body length mirror of the changing room and smiles. She liked this one. It had a nice fitting blazer, unlike her last ones, the tie looked skinny, despite being a bow tie, the white shirt made the black of the suit pop and it had a little white handkerchief poking out the front pocket, something that Lexa found quite surprising was that, the suit complimented her slim figure, it hugged her in all the right places. She gives herself one last glance over in the mirror before she pulls back the curtain and steps out. 

Lincoln, who had tagged along for Lexa's benefit, stands immediately, along with Lexa's mom who cups a hand over her mouth in response to seeing her daughter in her wedding tux. "Alexandria..." She sighs, her eyes were glassy and bright with love and Lexa smiles, this was it, this was the tux. 

Her mother steps forward, and tugs on either side of the bow tie, before cupping Lexa's face in her hands. "You look absolutely beautiful." She coos and Lincoln steps forward, nodding his head in agreement. "I still can't believe this is happening." 

"Mom," Lexa whines, squirming out of her mother's hands, she wasn't sure when her mom had become so loving but she was starting to feel like a freshman in high school with an overprotective mother who would drive you up to the front steps and kiss you goodbye every day. Lexa's mom had never been like that. It was possible that she was simply just trying to make the most of her illness, that it had given her a new perspective on life and thus Lexa, but Lexa, while she loved her mother in every sense of the word, and actually secretly loved the new attention, wasn't used to it, and she wasn't sure she ever really would be, but it was nice, comforting, and that's all that mattered. 

"So what do you think?" Lexa asks, taking a step back, she fastens the first button on the tux and grins at her mom and best friend. "More importantly," Lexa begins. "what will Clarke think?" 

"I don't think Clarke could be anymore in love with you," Lincoln says and Lucy smiles softly at the boy's words. " _ but _ ," Lincoln continues with a smile. "I think this is a good start." He says and Lexa rolls her eyes, not believing her friend's words. 

"You look stunning Alexandria." Lucy adds and Lexa shakes her head, turning to look at herself in one of the many mirrors scattered around the room. 

"You have to say that," Lexa reasons, turning her head as she observes herself for a moment. "you're my mom and you're my best friend." Lexa reasons, though, looking at herself, she did look incredibly good in said tux. Lincoln rolls his eyes at Lexa's statement, like it was the most ridiculous thing in the world, while Lexa's mom looks kind of amused at the girl. 

"Nonsense." Lucy replies dismissively and then turns to take a seat in one of the seats in the room. Lexa fastens the second button and observes herself for a moment, she tries to envision herself walking down the aisle in this suit, with her best friends by her side and the other guests in front of them, but, inevitably, the thought of Clarke in her white dress pushes itself to the forefront of her mind and how beautiful the girl would look, even in Lexa's head, blows the brunette's mind. 

Clarke is beautiful in sweats and a t-shirt, with her hair thrown in a messy bun, never mind a tailored dress and hair done to perfection, Clarke is quite literally gorgeous, in every sense of the word, and Lexa can feel her mouth drying, simply from the thought of the girl, and she hadn't even seen her yet. 

"So what is your fiancée up to?" Lucy's voice interrupts Lexa's thoughts and Lexa turns to look at her mother with a small shrug. 

"Doctor stuff at the hospital." Lexa answers and Lincoln laughs at her answer, and the vagueness of it, but, to be fair, Lexa didn't exactly know what a doctor did specifically, more importantly, not what a surgeon did. 

"How is it going between you two?" Lucy asks curiously, rejecting the glass of champagne offered to her when Lincoln gives her a look, Lexa grins so wide that she thinks that maybe her face might just split from the sheer force of it and she turns around to blind her mom and best friend with it. 

"Great." Lexa reveals. "I love her mom." She adds, straightening out the tux, and her mom gives her a wide smile back. "I want to spend the rest of my life with her, I want to have kids with her, I want to grow old together, I want  _ her _ ." Lexa concludes with her heart growing at least three sizes as she spoke her mind. There was a time that Lexa had thought that she would never love again, that she was broken beyond repair, unable to love and be loved, and, honestly, she kind of still is, but that doesn't matter with Clarke, Clarke loves her in spite of all of that, she loves Lexa, broken and all, and it's the same the other way around, Lexa loves Clarke and there's really no other way around it. Lexa has no doubt in her mind that she was supposed to be with anyone other than Clarke Griffin. 

"It seems I deserve a thank you." Lucy says, breaking Lexa out of her thoughts, and the brunette turns to face her mother with a small frown. 

"An arranged marriage wasn't exactly how I expected to find someone new..." Lexa admits. "And I’m still not sure I approve of said method," She adds. "but," She says reluctantly. "without this arrangement I would've never met Clarke which... thank you." Lexa admits and that thank you was huge, Lexa rarely admitted to being wrong, or admitting when someone else was right, she was stubborn like that, but meeting Clarke, that was the sole good thing that had happened to Lexa in a long time. 

"Crap." Lincoln says, looking down at his pager which was beeping like crazy. "Some huge trauma just came in, I have to go help." He says, picking up his jacket. He walks towards Lexa with an apologetic smile, he leans forward and places a goodbye kiss to Lexa's cheek. 

"Tell Clarke I miss her." Lexa calls after her retreating best friend. 

"Are you going soft on me commander?" Lincoln teases, turning to face Lexa who flips him off playfully. Her best friend exits the shop with a wide smile and a careless wave thrown over his shoulder. Lexa sighs and settles down beside her mother who was watching her carefully, Lexa would apologise for her swearing but, recently, her mom hadn't been as uptight about Lexa being the perfect daughter, she'd almost relaxed, and Lexa thinks that maybe her mom had always just loved Lexa for who she was, she'd always been supportive, and,  _ maybe _ , from time to time, she had been a little strict, and told Lexa to act a certain way, but pretty much every mother did that, all that mattered was that her mom was here, she was alive. 

"How is your new job going Alexandria?" Her mom asks softly. Lexa hesitates, grabbing one of the flutes of champagne, before deciding not to mention her encounter the other day - she didn't need to add worry to her mother's life, especially when it was unnecessary and she'd already talked it out with her fiancée. 

"It's good," Lexa answers. "Indra says I'm hard on the interns but that just means I get respect," Lexa says with a chuckle. "I think they're afraid of me actually but Indra's probably more intimidating." 

"That girl has always been the level headed one in your group." Lucy says. "Its no wonder she couldn't talk you idiots out of jumping off of cliffs." 

"Mom," Lexa groans. "you really need to let that go." Her mom gives her a look that says  _ ‘I don't think so’ _ and Lexa rolls her eyes. "Indra wasn't even there when it happened." Lexa says and Lucy simply shrugs. 

There's a calm silence that falls between them, it's not awkward or anything, and Lexa is more than content to just sit there and enjoy her mother's presence. "You really do look beautiful Alexandria." Lucy interrupts their silence. "I'm happy that you're happy." She says softly and Lexa smiles, taking her mother's hands in her own. 

"Mom," Lexa says carefully and hesitantly. "you deserve to be happy too, you know that right?" She asks, giving her mom a soft look. 

"I am happy," Lexa narrows her eyes at that, unconvinced, but her mom simply cups Lexa's jaw affectionately. "all I need to be happy is to know that you're healthy, happy and in good hands and you're all of those things." 

"Mom-" Lexa goes to protest but she's quickly silenced by her mom again. 

"You are my daughter Alexandria," Lucy interrupts. "you're all that matters to me, I want nothing but to see you succeed, to see you happy, and you're getting all of those things, you have Clarke, I just ask that you don't forget about me." 

"You're my mom," Lexa says in disbelief. "it's kind of hard to just forget about you," She did, after all, give birth to Lexa. "and besides, who else is going to look after the kids when Clarke and I go out or away?" Lexa asks, nudging her mom, her mom smiles and pulls Lexa in for a hug, surprising the brunette a little. 

"You're all grown up Alexandria, when did that happen?" She asks softly and Lexa wraps her arms around her mom to pull her closer. 

"I'm still your little girl," Lexa reassures. "I still need you." Lexa pulls back from the hug and sighs. "Luna came by a while ago." Lexa confesses. Her mom frowns, recognising the name almost immediately, she knew that her mom was probably both confused and worried because Luna's betrayal had hurt Lexa deeply. "It's okay, I'm okay, it's just... it surprised me and I wasn't expecting to see her, you know?" Lexa asks and her mom nods. 

"What did she want?" Lucy was no longer soft in her tone, she was guarded, and wary, and Lexa knew it was her protective mother side kicking in, but she smiles, lopsided, at the tone. 

"She wanted to explain I guess," Lexa shrugs. "I didn't really give her a chance to say much." Lexa explains and her mom purses her lips. 

"Maybe you should." She suggests and Lexa gapes. "Holding a grudge is bad for the soul Alexandria, forgiveness may be hard but sometimes it's necessary." 

"But she... she... she  _ hurt  _ me." Lexa protests, feeling exasperated. 

"She was grieving," Lucy reasons. "maybe you should hear her out, you don't know her side of the story, you only know your version." 

"I can't believe..." Lexa trials off and shakes her head. "I don't know." 

"Think about it," Lucy encourages. "sometimes we only see what we want to see." Lexa goes to protest again when the tailor comes over to them, his hands clasped behind his back. 

"Is everything to your liking Miss Woods?" He asks, interrupting carefully, and Lexa tears her gaze away from her mother to look over at the tailor. 

"Everything's great," Lexa replies politely. "I think this is the one." She says and the tailor smiles brightly. 

"Should we discuss some more details?" He asks, gesturing towards his office, and Lexa nods her head and pushes herself up to her feet. This was the tux, it was perfect, she was going to be getting married in this very fabric, and maybe her mom was right, maybe she should hear Luna out. 

**//**

Clarke was tired, and smelly, and she wanted to do nothing more than go home and curl up beside her fiancée. Her shift was coming to an end, in fact, it was supposed to be finished about ten minutes ago but she'd gotten held up in treating patients that she'd had to wait until she was finished to go home. So, when Wells rushed past her and  _ begged  _ her to see one last ER patient - because he was busy running the place - Clarke couldn't really say no. She was there, she was still in her scrubs, and Wells was her old childhood friend, so she figured she kind of had to. 

She takes the chart that he had handed her and starts towards the patient that was hidden behind a curtain of bed five. The ER really was busy and Clarke was wondering if there was some kind of deadly game going on in the city or if everyone had just decided to get injured on this specific day. Clarke pulls the curtain back and flips the chart open, not bothering to look at her patient yet. "Okay, Miss Rivers, my name is Dr Griffin, I'll be your doctor today." Clarke glances up, to flash the woman a comforting smile, when she sees a familiar set of eyes staring back at her. 

Clarke does a double take, just to be certain, she glances at the name again, instead of just reading the last name, and mentally curses. "Luna?" Clarke asks, setting the chart aside. "What are you going here?" The brunette holds up her hand to reveal a blood stained rag that the woman had obviously put there to stop the bleeding. 

"I was cutting lemons and slipped." She explains. "It's not that deep but I thought I better come and get it checked out just in case." She says and Clarke gives her an unimpressed look. She glances around to see if one of her idiot interns were around, or available, but everyone was busy doing something. She sighs and pulls a stool over to sit in front of Luna. She gestures for the woman's hand and Luna gives it to her immediately without hesitation. 

"So how did you know I worked here?" Clarke asks curiously, unwrapping the rag that was around the cut. 

"I didn't." Luna responds and then Clarke looks up and gives her a look of disbelief and the woman smiles shyly. "Fine, I did, I stalked Lexa's social media after I saw you in her apartment... I had to know who you were." 

"Please don't tell me you have a crush on my fiancée." Clarke says with a frown at the confession from Luna, it all sounded very stalkerish, though Clarke understood where she was coming from with the wanting to know who Clarke was, she would've wanted to know herself if the roles were reversed. 

Clarke examines the cut more closely now while Luna chuckles at the suggestion. "God no, Lexa's like my little sister." Luna says dismissively. "You two are engaged." Luna states it, she doesn't question it, and Clarke looks up to see Luna's face impossibly impassive, showing no hint of how she felt about that statement though Clarke had a pretty good idea. 

"We are." Clarke confirms, sliding on her stool to retrieve some anaesthetic to numb the area before she stitched it and the other supplies she would need, she slides back in front of Luna and lays down all her supplies on the nearby metal table. 

"So she's probably told you about me right?" Luna asks and Clarke nods. "I'm not the bad guy here Clarke, Lexa's the one who refuses to talk to me." 

"I fail to see how Lexa is the bad guy in this story." Clarke says, she was becoming defensive, a natural instinct to defend Lexa coming into play, plus, could Luna really blame her after what had happened? 

"I never said she was," Luna points out. "it wasn't my fault that my parents were so closed minded that they banned her from my sister's funeral okay? It was shitty, and just plain wrong, but I  _ did  _ try to convince them." Luna says as Clarke begins to dab alcohol over the cut, the woman winces slightly at the stinging sensation but Clarke continues her work. "I was grieving, I didn't have a leg to stand on with my parents, it was their decision to ban Lexa, it was never mine." Clarke pauses her movements thinking about Luna's words for a moment. Luna was right, it wasn't her fault, Lexa was angry because she thought that the girl had never tried to stand up for her but that wasn't true, as Luna had said, she had tried to but it had been at a very difficult time for her and, obviously, she hadn't made her point as good as she had probably wanted to and she'd failed Lexa, let her down even, but it wasn't her fault, she was grieving, but Lexa didn't know that Luna had tried to defend her and, therefore, she was holding a pretty much worthless grudge against what could have potentially been one of Lexa's closest friends. Lexa was so damn stubborn. 

Clarke begins numbing Luna's hand before she decides to reply. "Lexa's angry," Clarke says slowly. "she thinks you never tried, that you turned your back on her." Clarke expands and Luna frowns. 

"She honestly thinks that?" Luna asks. "I knew I should've talked to her sooner, it was just never the right time, you know? She was grieving, and I was grieving, and we both didn't want to see each other and be reminded of that... then she leaves town, and returns with a shiny new doctor fiancée, and she hates my guts." Luna says coldly and darkly and Clarke feels for the girl, she really does, but, at the same time, Luna should've made the effort to get through to Lexa sooner because what was Lexa supposed to think? That Luna tried to get Lexa into the funeral but then ignored her for no reason at all? No wonder Lexa had come to the conclusion that she had. 

"You said that Lexa was like your sister?" Clarke asks curiously as she readies her needle at the beginning of the cut. 

"Well, she and my sister were together so, we obviously became close." Luna answers. "Lexa was...  _ is  _ a really good person and, yeah, we became like sisters because, she was always with my sister, and she was always looking after Costia, no matter what." Clarke nods her head understandably as she begins stitching up the wound - it was small and would probably only require about four stitches if that. "They were good together, they really loved each other." Clarke pauses her hand for a moment, the words stung a little, at least, they did to Clarke's jealous side,  _ of course _ she didn't like to think of Lexa as being in love with someone else, but Clarke knew about Costia, so her jealousy was irrational, and a little stupid, and Clarke felt like an idiot for it, but she still felt a tiny bit jealous. 

"Do you love her?" Luna asks quietly as Clarke continues her stitching. Clarke doesn't answer at first, she finishes up her stitching, and covers the wound, before looking up to meet Luna's eyes. 

"Of course I love her." Clarke replies and Luna nods her head. "Look, I can talk to Lexa? See if maybe she'd be willing to have dinner or something?" Clarke asks and Luna lights up at the suggestion. "You can tell your side of the story  _ but _ , if Lexa's still not convinced by then, then I think it's best you just leave her alone." Clarke says with a shrug, she couldn't force Lexa to forgive Luna, even if she hadn't been at fault, but she could at least try to get her fiancée to listen and then make the decision if she wanted to forgive Luna or not.  

"Well you're all fixed up here, just make sure to clean it and keep that bandage clean and you should be all set. You'll need to come back when the stitches need taking out but you're good to go." Clarke says, she grabs her notebook from her front pocket, along with a pen, and scribbles down her number. "Here," Clarke hands the slip of paper to the brunette. "text me later so I have your number and I'll let you know what Lexa says." 

"Thank you Clarke." Luna says standing up and accepting the slip of paper from the blonde doctor. Luna looked so genuinely grateful that Clarke felt a little bad, the chances of Lexa actually  _ wanting  _ to have dinner with Luna were pretty slim, but Clarke didn't have it in her to tell her so. 

"Just," Clarke sighs and runs a hand through her blonde tresses. "don't get your hopes up, for me, Lexa's almost as stubborn as I am." Clarke smiles reassuringly at the brunette who nods her head in understanding back. 

Luna steps away from Clarke, flashing her one last look over her shoulder before she took off in the direction of the exit. Clarke sighs and runs a hand through her hair, talking to Lexa about this would not be easy, she'd wait a while, until after the visit and the cake testing tomorrow, before she told her fiancée so then Clarke could reason with Lexa better. Clarke heads towards the residents lounge, dodging Wells as she went, so she could finally,  _ finally _ , go home to her waiting fiancée.

**//**

Lexa was relaxing in her apartment, sipping a glass of water as she flipped through a case file that she was thinking about taking, when there was a knock on her door. The brunette frowns, pulling her glasses from her nose, she throws the case down on the coffee table, closed, and heads towards the door. She pulls it open ready to see Raven, or maybe even Lincoln, standing there for whatever reason but she's greeted by an entirely different familiar face. "Hey kid," She says. "long time no see." 

"Anya?" Lexa asks in surprise, she thought the girl might've called her when she had gotten back into town, but, then again, Anya had shown up without a word before. 

"No, it's my twin," Anya says dryly, brushing past Lexa and into her apartment. "I told you I'd be coming home soon." Lexa closes the door and trails after her best friend who grabs herself a beer from the fridge and rejoins Lexa in the living room. 

"I thought you'd call first." Lexa replies and Anya shrugs before examining her best friend more closely. 

"You could seem happier about my return." She says sarcastically and Lexa smirks at her. They weren't the touchy feely kind of people, and it was rare the pair exchanged words of affection, Anya knew that Lexa loved her, and Lexa knew that Anya loved her, they just didn't feel the need to express it all the time, it was just an unstated fact, a truth, to them, they were like sisters and, just like sisters, they were awfully stubborn when it came to admitting feelings to one another. 

"I am happy," Lexa says dismissively. "when did you get back?" She asks as Anya collapses on the couch. 

"Yesterday," Anya admits. "I haven't been in my apartment for, forever so I had to sort a few..." Anya trails off when she sees a cat lazily stretching and wandering into the room. Lexa follows her gaze and smiles at the cat, she had to admit, Oreo was kind of growing on her. She scoops the little guy up, who gives her a surprised meow before snuggling into her chest. "I see you and blondie got yourselves a kid." Anya says watching Lexa who affectionately scratches Oreo on the head. 

"Shut up." Lexa says dismissively. "This is Oreo, he followed me home one night and Clarke convinced me to let him stay." Lexa admits. 

"Where is the old ball and chain anyway?" Anya asks curiously, sipping at her beer, Lexa smiles as Oreo purrs at her gentle petting. 

"Work," Lexa pauses, glancing at the clock. "she should be home soon actually." Lexa admits, she wasn't too worried, Clarke's job was very demanding, she often got held back sometimes, she had to do all nighters and, when she was on call, Lexa hardly ever saw her, but, most nights, they went to bed together, and they talked, and kissed, and cuddled, and asked about one another's days, so Lexa was more than okay with Clarke's demanding schedule, in fact, it would probably help their relationship because, once Lexa started taking on cases, she would be working later and, having one person in the relationship always at home while the other was at work, just wouldn't work, one would be lonely, but Clarke and herself worked, they were more than happy together, which was all that Lexa needed. 

"She's actually got the day off tomorrow and we're going cake tasting." Lexa confesses, placing Oreo back on the ground. The cat wanders off into the kitchen, probably to lie on top of one of the counters. Lexa startles when the door to her apartment opens and a grinning Raven steps inside holding a box of pizza. 

"I come bearing pizza and-" Raven stops mid sentence when she sees a certain someone sitting on the sofa and Anya, herself, had straightened up. They stare at one another for a moment, Raven more shocked than anything else, and Lexa looks between them, raising her eyebrows and smirking to herself. "I, um, I, er... hi." Raven says awkwardly and Lexa has to stifle her laughter, never has she heard Raven Reyes stutter like that in her life, granted, she hasn't known Raven that long, but Raven didn't seem like the type to just stutter. 

"Hey." Anya replies just as awkwardly and, as much as Lexa finds this situation entirely hilarious, she decides to save her two friends from themselves and steps towards Raven to take the pizza out of her hand. 

"Oh right," Raven says, snapping out of her trance, her shit eating grin returns to her face. "I figured, since you're allowing me to tag along to your cake tasting, the least I could do was buy you some food." She says and Lexa chuckles, setting the box down on the coffee table, she plonks down beside Anya and Raven follows suit. "And, I brought over a killer movie, which we can watch as soon as doctor goldilocks gets home." Lexa chuckles at the nickname and nods her head in agreement. 

Raven groans, picking up a slice of pizza, she rolls it into a roll and begins eating it like that. Lexa pulls a face at the gesture and Anya gives her a look of indifference. "Why do you feel the need to roll up your pizza?" Anya asks and Raven simply shrugs. 

"So I can eat it faster and eat more." She answers with a triumphant smile and Lexa rolls her eyes. 

"That's disgusting," Anya scoffs. "and pointless." She adds and Lexa shakes her head. 

"A lot of things are disgusting and pointless, like doing the laundry, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do them." Raven says with a wink. "Besides, I paid for the pizza, which means I can eat it however I want to eat it." 

"Whatever." Anya says back and Lexa decides to stay out of their lovers quarrel. Anya and Raven were the bickering type, if they were in elementary school, Raven would be tugging on Anya's pigtails and calling her some kind of childish name, Lexa is sure, it's just who they were, they flirted through sarcastic and dry comments because that's who they were as people and it was why they worked. 

Raven stands up, excusing herself to go retrieve a beer to wash her pizza roll down with, leaving Lexa and her best friend alone. They stay quiet for a moment before Anya decides to say something. "So you're going cake tasting tomorrow?" Anya asks and Lexa nods her head. "Maybe I'll join you." Anya says before sipping her beer and Lexa grins, knowing the reasoning behind Anya wanting to go was Raven. "You know, because the cake will be the highlight of your wedding for me, and I'd rather you picked a good cake than a bad one." Anya says, in excuse, and Lexa laughs, plucking up a slice of pizza herself. 

"Whatever you say Anya," Lexa says unconvinced. "whatever you say." She earns herself a steely glare after that comment.

**//**

"Did you bring the alcohol I requested?" 

"I didn't bring alcohol to a church Clarke." 

"You realise that I won't survive today without at least one shot of tequila." 

"Tequila makes you handsy." 

"I seem to remember you liking it when I'm handsy." 

"Clarke," Lexa voice is low and warning, in a whisper, barely audible to anyone other than Clarke, but Clarke can see the amusement tugging at the corners of the girl's lips. "alcohol is bad for you." Clarke snorts. 

"You're being ridiculous."

" _ I'm _ being ridiculous?" Lexa raises her eyebrows. "Then you're being childish." 

"Oh, I'll show you childish." 

The priest clears his throat, effectively silencing the pair's squabbling, and Clarke laughs when she sees Lexa go impossibly straight, her back rigid and poise, she was so formal sometimes that it looked almost painful but it only served to entertain Clarke. To be fair, Clarke was feeling a little playful - and  _ possibly  _ childish - spending the day scouting out different venues for her wedding was not what Clarke wanted to be doing on her day off. She wanted to be with Lexa, just not dealing with wedding stress. "Is everything okay Miss Woods, Miss Griffin?" The man asks politely and Clarke gives him a fake smile. 

"Everything's great," Clarke reassures. "I was just discussing with my fiancée how we would decorate the altar." Lexa shifts from foot to foot uncomfortably and the priest simply dips his head before leaving the two girls to talk amongst themselves in private. 

"Should I be worried that you can lie so smoothly?" Lexa asks and Clarke laughs with a shrug of her shoulders. "Isn't it like a sin to lie to a priest?" Lexa asks, scrunching up her nose in a frown that Clarke finds completely adorable but she doesn't tell Lexa so. 

"I think a lot of things are sins Lexa." Clarke says dismissively. "I bet my mom is offering an arm and a leg to this church to even consider a gay wedding." Lexa remains silent for a moment, glancing around the grand church, it really was beautiful, it was more modern than most churches that Lexa had been in, but she didn't often spend time in churches, she wasn't religious so she'd never had a reason too, the stain glass windows were decorated with stories from the bible and the sun that streamed through them reflected in pretty lights that illuminated the church and splashed colour here and there, but Lexa wasn't feeling it. She didn't have a solid reason for disliking the place other than that it just didn't feel right, like it wasn't where they should be getting married, it just wasn't the venue for her. 

"Is it important to your mom that we get married in a church?" Lexa asks hesitantly. Clarke was wondering around the church, pulling Lexa along, with their hands threaded between them, the blonde comes to a stop at Lexa's question and turns to face her fiancée. 

"Well, I mean, she'd probably prefer it," Clarke admits before leaning up and placing a comforting kiss to Lexa's cheek. "but we can get married anywhere we want Lexa, my mom just wants me to be happy." Lexa nods her head and gives the church another once over. "You don't like it." Clarke points out and Lexa looks back to her fiancée. 

"I don't know...." Lexa says, trailing off, she shrugs half heartedly and Clarke already knows what Lexa's thinking. 

"You don't like it." Clarke repeats, wrapping her arms around Lexa's arm. 

"I said I don't know." Lexa retorts but she's already relaxed from the feeling of Clarke being pressed against her so her words aren't really that convincing. 

"Everyone knows when someone says ‘I don't know’ it means they don't like it but they don't want to say so." Clarke replies and Lexa smiles softly to herself because that was kind of totally true. "Come on, let's get out of here," Clarke says while tugging on Lexa's arm. "I'm starting to feel suffocated and  _ someone  _ forgot to bring the tequila." Clarke teases playfully. They say a quick goodbye to the priest, with the promise of getting back in touch at a later date, before the pair were exiting the church and walking down the sidewalk of the city. 

Lexa can breathe easily in the open air of the city, despite the pollution in the air, the scent of the city was a unique blend of food and exhaust fumes but one that Lexa had become accustomed to and that gave her great comfort. They walk without talking, which Lexa and Clarke know they don't need words to communicate, or to understand one another, sometimes silence speaks louder than words, or actions, though Clarke is still holding onto Lexa's arm tightly and firmly, holding the brunette close to her. 

The air is chilly compared to what it has been, and Lexa knows that it has to do with the coming of the end of summer, though summer still has a long time to offer its warmth and freedom to them, at least another two months, and Lexa doesn't mind, though she prefers Fall, or Spring, than any other season. Fall is beautiful, with the trees shedding their leaves, and showing new beginnings once they bloom again in Spring, Winter is too cold, though Lexa secretly loves it, and sometimes Summer is too hot and humid in the city, she likes the things in-between, though, she supposes, that's true in her life too. 

She likes the things in-between, the bits that people probably normally wouldn't care for, but it’s the things in-between that make you really appreciate the things that come after, or that happened before, like with Clarke: everything is building up to their wedding, and the small pieces are all coming together, but Lexa's favourite thing is just retreating with her fiancée into their own bubble, the small things, like cuddling up on the sofa to watch a movie, or kisses to the cheeks and noses, or the sharing of coffee when they say their goodbyes before work, Lexa loves the moments in-between because they're usually the best. 

Before Lexa even knows where they're heading, they're walking through the park side by side and this feels right. "This park is beautiful." Clarke says breathlessly, snuggling closer to Lexa, and Lexa nods her head in agreement because it really was gorgeous - especially in the afternoon light. "Maybe we should just get married here." Clarke comments and Lexa stops in her tracks, looking down at Clarke with a look of surprise. 

Lexa stares at the blonde who gives a curious look back, waiting for Lexa to say something. "You're serious?" Lexa asks and Clarke chuckles. 

"We could get married here right? People do that?" Clarke questions and Lexa still looks utterly surprised and Clarke finds her expression completely adorable. 

"I think you have to get a permit or something?" Lexs replies with her eyebrows knitting in confusion. "Do you really want to get married here?" 

"Are you kidding me?" Clarke asks. "You love it here and it happens to be very pretty." Clarke says with a wide smile. "I don't think getting a permit would be a problem so, why not? This is where we could've met." Clarke says and Lexa frowns, shaking her head in confusion. "Don't you ever think about how we would've met if this whole thing hadn't have been arranged?" Clarke asks and mostly it's because she believes that, no matter what, she would've met Lexa at some point in her life, without a doubt, she would've met her. "I think I probably would've grown frustrated with my mother's persistent complaining of me wasting my medical education and left Polis for the big city, Arkadia, where my old childhood friend works and lives." Clarke was talking about Wells of course, Lexa knew this because she knew practically everything about Clarke now, she also knew that things could've been a lot different in their story if they hadn't had an arranged marriage. 

"I imagine we would've met here, since Lincoln tells me you rarely left your apartment other than for work and to visit this very park," Clarke continues, in her own dreamworld now, and Lexa indulges her, listening to Clarke's rambling, and imagining how their lives could've been so different. "Maybe I would've walked into you and spilled my coffee all over you or something equally as cheesy." 

"We really are the cheesy cliche kind aren't we?" Lexa asks with a broad smile and Clarke laughs, an airy laugh, one that floats in the air and that Lexa can feel surround her and warm her chest. 

"You would've apologised, even though it wasn't your fault, I would've flirted, despite my very sad inner-personality, because you're a beautiful woman and impossible to resist." 

"Wait," Lexa interrupts. "your sad inner-personality? You're sad?" Lexa asks, coming to a halt again, and Clarke shakes her head. 

"Not anymore I'm not." She reassures. "I mean, sometimes, sure, but not when I'm with you. Lexa, you're the only person who makes me feel good, like I'm not some sad little widow." 

"You're not a widow." Lexa points out and Clarke scoffs. 

"I might as well have been." She says bitterly, screwing her face up, and Lexa understands, because she too had also been treated like a widow and, thus, acted like she was one, but, no, she had just lost her girlfriend, not her wife. 

"I'd never make you a widow." Lexa says and Clarke shrugs her shoulders. 

"It'll happen if it happens," Clarke replies. "but I'd prefer it if you'd live forever." 

"Immortality might be beyond my skill range as a lawyer Clarke." Lexa says dryly and Clarke laughs that same laugh that floats and warms Lexa's entire being and makes her genuinely smile. 

"You're hilarious Lexa." Clarke drawls in amusement and Lexa shrugs her shoulders innocently, pulling Clarke towards her and wrapping her arms around the blonde's waist. 

"Through sickness and health." Lexa reminds her, lifting Clarke's hand up to her face and kissing the ring softly with affection. 

"So even when I'm old and grey, and possibly have some kind of illness that makes me forget you, you'll still love me and want to be married to me?" Clarke asks, raising her eyebrows. 

"Of course I will." Lexa says, her brow furrowing. She gives Clarke a small frown and the blonde let's out a breathy laugh at Lexa's honest confusion. 

"I don't want to forget you though," Clarke complains. "if that happens you have to promise to give me a lethal dose of morphine or something so I don't have to suffer not knowing who you are... or my two or three children that we have." Clarke says and Lexa narrows her eyes at the blonde. 

"That's illegal," Lexa comments and Clarke laughs. "but I'd break the rules for you." 

"I feel honoured, Lexa Woods would break the law for me? Wow, this is something for the history books-" Clarke says sarcastically when Lexa cuts her off with a well placed eye roll and a gentle teasing dig to the blonde's side. Clarke giggles at the gesture and Lexa shakes her head. 

"I'd do anything for you Clarke," She says softly, looking out at the park and then back to her fiancée. "so if you forget me,  _ or  _ our beautiful children,  _ or  _ our home,  _ or  _ our wedding in the park, then I’ll break the law for you, and I'd hope you'd do the same back for me." Clarke gazes up at Lexa in wonderment, the brunette was truly amazing, and, even if their conversation could be classed as somewhat morbid, it didn't feel all that daunting, or scary, or heavy, as the subject should be because, with Lexa there, Clarke just felt one emotion above all else, and that was contentment, she loved Lexa, Lexa loved her, and they were going to get married and live the rest of their lives together, hardships and all, together they were unstoppable. 

"Okay," Lexa sighs, they'd pretty much confirmed that their wedding would in fact be in the park now which meant calling Abby and telling the woman about their plans, but, right now, Lexa just wanted to enjoy some time alone with her fiancée. "so Raven and Anya are coming cake tasting with us because Raven practically demanded I take her and Anya said she'd come for the food but I suspect it's got more to do with Raven than anything." 

"Is our cake tasting a double date?" Clarke asks with a broad smile and Lexa laughs, shaking her head, she turns to look at Clarke. 

"I think it might be." She replies, kissing Clarke on the cheek, before she pulls the blonde along and down the path, through the centre of the park, which would soon be their wedding venue.

**//**

Lexa was beginning to think that she'd brought two children along to the cake tasting rather than her very adult friends who were bickering like an old married couple about something that Lexa couldn't even comprehend at the moment - something about a TV show that Lexa did not watch but, then again, she didn't really watch TV. Okay, maybe that was a lie, recently, Clarke had dragged Lexa into binge watching Grey's Anatomy, all the way from the beginning, and Lexa had liked the show instantly, though she'd never admit that to Clarke, and, for the first time in her life, she actually found herself liking the hetero characters and ships which,  _ what was up with that?  _

Anyway, they were walking down the sidewalk, Lexa and Clarke had their hands interlocked while Anya and Raven lead the charge, occasionally, Anya or Raven would turn around and give their respective backup - Clarke and Lexa - a look of exasperation that said ‘tell her I'm right’ and Lexa and Clarke dutifully supported whatever the hell they were talking about despite the fact that they had zero clue whatever their friends were arguing over. 

The pair were still arguing when they entered the bakery store, the bell on the door ringing to signal their entrance, and they're greeted by an enthusiastic young chef who, Lexa's pretty sure, has a faint French accent. "Hello, welcome," He greets in a chipper voice and Lexa's not sure if it's fake or if the guy genuinely loves his job that much. "you must be the happy couple." He gestures to Anya and Raven, who's eyebrows shoot up in absolute shock, they both look at each other and Clarke and Lexa have to strife their laughter. 

"What?" Raven asks meekly and then Anya scoffs at the baker in faux indifference when Lexa could clearly see a light blush on her cheeks.  _ Anya was freaking  _ blushing _. When does Anya  _ ever _? _

"Like I would marry her." Anya says, crossing her arms across her chest, and Lexa turns to look at Clarke who rolls her eyes and Lexa has to stifle her laughter again. 

"Excuse you," Raven says, brow furrowing, and the baker simply looks confused. "you'd be lucky to marry me, I'm Raven Reyes." Lexa chuckles a little at her reasoning, as though the fact that Raven was Raven was reason enough, and Clarke shakes her head. They could interrupt and end this but, if Lexa's completely honest, she's enjoying it a little too much and she's pretty sure Clarke feels the same way. 

"Thanks for clarifying your name," Anya says with an eye roll. "you could never handle me." 

" _ Handle _ you?" Raven asks affronted. "Bitch please, you could never handle this ass, which, by the way, I have a pretty great ass, not that you'll ever know because you're such a-" Lexa clears her throat, cutting off Raven's words, she knew Anya and Raven were the bickering type, and Anya was just the kind of person who could get a rise out of a statue, but the baker looked completely uncomfortable now and Lexa felt a little sorry for him. 

Raven huffs and turns away from Anya to look at Lexa expectantly. "Actually," Lexa says, lifting her and Clarke's interlocked hands. "we're the brides to be." She finishes and the baker actually breathes a sigh of relief which Clarke clearly finds endlessly amusing. "These are our um... our best men, girls, people?" Lexa stutters and Clarke actually does laugh at that. Lexa's not sure exactly how to phrase her words because maid of honours just sounds weird to her, though, she supposes, that's kind of who they are, Lexa just likes to think of it as them being their best friends, second in being the most important people to Clarke and Lexa, kind of, though Lexa holds Lincoln at the same level as Anya - they're both like her siblings. 

The baker grins happily, gesturing to a booth for them to take a seat in, and they nod their heads, heading towards the booth. "You know," Clarke whispers. "speaking about how great Raven's ass is-" 

"I severely hope the rest of that sentence is better than the beginning." Lexa grumbles and Clarke smiles, leaning closer to Lexa as they slide into the booth beside one another. 

"I was going to say that, it reminded me that you have a pretty great ass too." 

"Pretty great?" Lexa asks, raising an eyebrow, and Clarke grins. 

"Okay," Clarke relents, pressing a kiss to Lexa's cheek. "the best." She clarifies and Lexa gives Clarke a blinding smile back before turning to face their two friends. She almost laughs out loud at them because they're sulking like two teenagers and they refuse to look at each other. Lexa doesn't understand why they don't just admit they have feelings for each other, it's pretty damn obvious. 

The baker, whose name Lexa learns is Marcel, brings out the first cake. It's a traditional wedding fruit cake and Lexa tries to look encouraging at the prospect, because Clarke lights up at the fact that they were going to get to try it, but Lexa wasn't so sure - she wasn't a big fan of fruitcake. 

Raven is the first to comment on it, breaking the silence she had been in ever since settling in the booth beside Anya. "Who the hell puts fruit in a cake?" Raven asks. "All I'm saying is, a cake should not have fruit in it, seriously, why would you ruin something so good?" She asks and Lexa had to silently agree, no cake should have fruit in it, it makes no logical sense to Lexa, and she's not a big fan of its taste, it's like trying to make something unhealthy healthy, it's just not right. 

But Clarke looks excited to try it, and Lexa would be a terrible fiancée if she didn't at least try a slice, so she simply smiles as Clarke goes to feed her a bite. "Mmm." Lexa says, while bobbing her head, and Anya snorts, eating her own slice, while Raven simply pokes at the fruit cake with a look of utter disgust. "You hate fruitcake Lex." Anya says dryly and Lexa glares at her. "What? You do." Anya says with a shrug and Lexa rolls her eyes turning to look at Clarke who narrows her eyes at her before she tastes the cake herself. 

Clarke seems to genuinely enjoy it, Raven, on the other hand, is clearly not feeling the fruitcake. "I swear to God Clarke, if you have fruitcake at your wedding, I'll blow it up." Raven threatens and Lexa laughs at the ridiculous image of Raven exploding their wedding cake out of pure hatred for it. Clarke rolls her eyes as the baker comes over to place a red velvet cake on their table, which isn't anything special, it's a little boring if Lexa's honest, but at least it doesn't have fruit in it. 

"You have to tell me if you like the cake or not Lexa." Clarke whispers and Lexa nods her head, tasting the red velvet cake for herself. "This is  _ our  _ wedding, not just mine." Lexa swallows her cake and smiles at the little huff Clarke lets out. She scoops a piece of the red velvet up and lifts it up to Clarke, leaning forward on her elbow. 

"Say that again." Lexa says and Clarke narrows her eyes suspiciously, glancing from Lexa to the cake on her fork, Lexa raises her eyebrows expectantly, and Raven rolls her eyes at Anya before finishing up her slice of cake - which, actually, was quite impressive since she hadn't gotten the slice that long ago. 

"What?" Clarke asks. "Our wedding?" She asks and Lexa grins, bringing the cake up to Clarke's lips who eats the cake without question.

"Our wedding." Lexa coos with a content sigh at the end of her words. "This is happening." Lexa reminds Clarke, as she scoops up more of the cake, and Clarke nods. 

"Hey, what would you guys do if you got a divorce?" Raven asks and Anya elbows her in the side which prompts the mechanic to glare at her. "I'm just asking." Clarke scoffs, as if that was the most ridiculous question she had ever heard, before she looks at Lexa who looks just as amused by the question - it's a relief really. 

"Well I'm an amazing lawyer so, I'm pretty sure I could gain full custody of Oreo if it came down to it." Lexa says in a teasing tone and Clarke shoves her. 

"The hell you will, Oreo is my cat too, I love him." Clarke says, though she's quite clearly joking. 

"I love him too Clarke, but he clearly loves me more, it's only fair he stays with his true mom." Lexa says as the baker returns and switches their red velvet cake out for a mouthwatering chocolate cake that Lexa could already feel herself falling in love with. "And I'd get custody of Anya of course." Lexa adds on the end and then she yelps before she glares at the blonde across from her - which Clarke assumes is because Anya probably kicked her under the table. 

Clarke chuckles in agreement, glancing at Raven who was giving her an expectant look. "And I'd get Raven of course." Clarke says. 

"Hell yeah you would, and we all know that Clarke clearly gets the better deal right?" The table laugh at Raven's words and shake their heads at the mechanic who simply shrugs and eats the fork full of chocolate cake she had scooped up. 

Raven moans loudly and explicitly, so much so that it actually brings a blush to Lexa's cheeks, Clarke rolls her eyes at her best friend and Anya smirks. Raven, in typical Raven fashion, is unfazed by her friends's attention, and unabashedly starts shovelling more chocolate cake into her mouth. "Is that good?" Anya asks sarcastically and Raven nods enthusiastically, gesturing for Anya to take a bite of her slice, which the girl, begrudgingly, does so. 

Clarke turns to Lexa and watches as her fiancée takes a bite, her green eyes light up immediately, and Clarke knows when Lexa is experiencing pleasure, she's seen it plenty of times to know, and it's quite obvious that the cake is doing exactly just that. Clarke takes a bite of her own cake and almost lets out a moan like Raven's, but she stifles it, and closes her eyes instead in bliss. "We found your cake." Raven deadpans and Clarke nods her head in agreement. The cake was perfect, it was airy, moist and who doesn't love chocolate cake? 

"You know, I hate to admit it but, I think Raven's right," Anya says, which earns her a wide grin from the brunette beside her. "don't look all smug, I hate that." Anya says, rolling her eyes at the mechanic who goes back to eating her cake happily, Lexa knows that Anya is lying, she actually finds Raven's confidence, or rather,  _ arrogance _ , kind of endearing and not only that but Lexa knows that Raven challenges Anya, which just makes them more suited for each other, they get along like a house on fire if Lexa's completely honest. 

Lexa had to agree that the chocolate cake was by far the clear winner, it would probably beat whatever cake that Marcel still had to bring out but, Lexa still wanted to give them a chance. Lexa raises her eyebrows when she sees Raven cutting more slices off and wrapping them into napkins before stuffing them into her bag that she'd brought along - Lexa had been wondering what that was for. Clarke, Anya and Lexa all stare at the mechanic like she's crazy. When the mechanic notices, and pauses mid stuffing, she gives them all a look. "What?" She asks. "It's good cake." She states before placing her bag down beside her as Marcel comes out with yet another cake. 

"I think Raven might just be our child." Lexa mutters to Clarke who smiles and nudges the brunette affectionately on the shoulder. 

"She does need to be constantly watched," Clarke agrees. "and she does like to cause an awful lot of explosions for one person." Lexa chuckles to herself at that because Raven really did need to be constantly watched, she was mischievous like that, but Lexa liked her, she was witty, and sarcastic, and a good friend to Clarke, and even to herself, flaws and all. 

" _ Raven _ !" Clarke scolds, snapping Lexa out of her thoughts, she looks at Clarke to see that Raven had flicked a piece of cake onto her face. "Oh you are  _ so  _ dead." Clarke growls and Lexa rolls her eyes at the two of them - it seemed that Raven pulled the child out of Clarke, a thing that entirely entertained Lexa, but a bakery was not the time, nor place, to have a food fight. 

"Clarke," Lexa says quietly. "put the cake down." She says. Clarke gives a huff, looks at Lexa like a kicked puppy, before reluctantly lowering the cake she was prepared to launch at Raven. 

"Fine," She relents. "but I'll get you later Reyes." She rues. 

**//**

Lexa exits the kitchen, holding a shot glass, and sits down beside Clarke, on the couch, who was sitting curled up in herself sketching away. The brunette extends the shot glass wordlessly to the blonde and Clarke pauses her movements to look at it. "I got you that tequila you were complaining about all day." Lexa says with a smile and Clarke laughs, taking it from the brunette's hand. The blonde knocks the shot back effortlessly, only grimacing ever so slightly, and Lexa watches her, her eyes dilating, she never knew watching someone knock a shot back could be hot until she saw Clarke Griffin do it. 

"That's why I keep you around." Clarke teases playfully and Lexa smiles, taking Clarke's sketch book from her lap. 

"That and my ass apparently." Lexa replies just as playfully. Clarke chuckles and snuggles into Lexa's side, her hand coming to rest on her sketch book that was settled in Lexa's lap, she hadn't shown Lexa any of her drawings yet, mostly because she had an embarrassing amount of her fiancée herself, but also because Clarke was really insecure about her art, it's something that every artist has, and Clarke is no exception, showing someone else your work is almost an invasion of privacy into Clarke's inner thoughts and feelings, so she's always hesitant to share her work, but Lexa, Lexa already sees Clarke's inner thoughts and feelings just like Clarke sees right through Lexa. 

"Open it." Clarke instructs, gesturing towards the sketch book, Lexa hesitates for a moment, she too knows that Clarke is very private about her art, but Clarke just nods her head and Lexa has never been one to refuse Clarke. 

She opens the book carefully, almost like she was afraid that something might jump out of it, she runs the finger down the spine of the book, over the torn out pages that were there. "Those were either old or bad." Clarke explains with amusement, or possibly both, she was almost certain one of them was a drawing of Raven after the girl had insisted that Clarke draw her like ‘one of her French girls’ - Raven was weird like that. 

"Bad?" Lexa asks, almost like she didn't believe what Clarke was saying. "I can't imagine anything you create is bad." She says gently and Clarke almost blushes at how soft spoken Lexa sounds. 

"And here you are being a sap again." Clarke says rolling her eyes. She opens the first page up to reveal a few landscape drawings, Clarke didn't know why but, she loved to draw forests, and basically just the ground, but Lexa seemed impressed, she runs her finger over the lead etched into the paper, her eyes trailing her finger in wonder. 

"This is beautiful." She mutters and Clarke smiles softly.

"Not true but I appreciate what you're assaying." Clarke chuckles and Lexa grunts in protest but Clarke's flipping the page before she can say anything. 

There are pages of different drawings that they scan through, most are landscapes, others are just everyday objects, and some people, there was even a drawing of Lexa's favourite coffee mug on one of the pages, before they come to the pages that Clarke knows has Lexa all over them. 

Clarke places her hand on the page, stopping the brunette from turning, and Lexa looks at her curiously. "Promise me you won't think I'm a total creep." Clarke says sheepishly. Lexa frowns in confusion, shaking her head in response. Clarke takes a deep breath, preparing herself to show Lexa her creations, before she flips the page over and bites her lip in nerves. Lexa falls silent as soon as her eyes tear away from Clarke and settle on the paper. 

Over the past month, Clarke had accumulated quite the collection of Lexa in her sketch book: her first one, the one with Lexa in bed with Oreo atop her, was on the first page, finished a long time ago, Clarke just liked to draw whenever she got the chance, even with her hectic schedule, somehow she'd still managed to fill at least five pages of Lexa and some of them were not PG rated, she was pretty sure that the whole ‘no sex’ rule was the inspiration behind most of those sketches though she was still mildly embarrassed. 

Lexa runs her finger over the various sketches, her breaths slow and hitch, she looked almost entranced by the drawings, but Clarke was still nervous, she still wanted to please her fiancée, and she really hoped she hadn't freaked Lexa out. "Clarke," Lexa breathes, a heavy sigh falling from her lips followed closely by a lopsided smile, which Clarke had spent much time studying and drawing, though she never really could capture just how beautiful Lexa was. 

In Clarke's opinion, Lexa just cannot be put down on paper, there are no words to describe her and not enough colours or pencils to translate her into drawings, she is an enigma, one of a kind, impossible to describe, and Clarke wouldn't have her any other way - even if it did make for a messy sketch book and very high levels of frustration when Clarke tried her best to capture such beauty. "These are amazing." She says, reluctantly turning away from the book to focus on the blonde who was being unusually quiet while snuggled into her side. 

Clarke blushes, shrugging her shoulders in a weak brush off gesture, to show Lexa that it was no big deal, but the brunette simply lifts Clarke's chin up and forces blue to meet green. She gives a bright smile now, her lopsided one replaced by a full toothy smile, which, actually, was a rarity, even for Clarke, to see, and she looks at Clarke with so much genuine love and appreciation that Clarke couldn't help but believe her words. "I'm honoured that you've chosen me as your muse." Lexa says with a playful undertone and Clarke scoffs at the girl with a smile slowly working at the corners of her own lips. 

"Shut up nerd, you've always been my muse." Clarke says with an eye roll, playfully scowling at the brunette. "Your ego really didn't need this boost." She adds and Lexa laughs in agreement, setting the book aside so she can tackle Clarke to the couch. 

"Do you remember when we first met?" Lexa asks with amusement lacing her voice. Clarke nods her head, pinned against the couch by Lexa who was smiling above her. "You said I wasn't what you expected, then you proceeded to make fun of my name." Lexa recalls and Clarke laughs. 

"You made fun of my name too!" Clarke points out defensively and Lexa nods her head lowering herself closer to the blonde. "You're still not what I expected," Clarke admits, her hands slipping beneath the fabric of Lexa's shirt to rest on her hips and back. "but in a good way." 

"A good way?" Lexa questions and Clarke grins, nodding her head. 

"A  _ very  _ good way." Clarke replies and Lexa chuckles as she leans forward to place a chaste kiss to Clarke's lips. 

"Oh?" Lexa murmurs, moving her lips to Clarke's cheek, kissing a trail down to her jaw. Clarke shivers from the soft caressing of Lexa's heavenly kisses and she almost moans when she feels the brunette's lips suck tentatively at her neck. 

"God Lex," Clarke moans, her hands beginning to caress the brunette's hips to pull her down and closer, wanting there to be no space between them, all she wanted was heat,  _ Lexa's  _ heat, it was intoxicating, and every second Lexa was hovering above her, it just got harder to ignore, and Clarke wanted more, she  _ needed  _ more. 

Clarke snaps out of her trance and opens her eyes, not realising that she had closed them in the first place. "I need to shower Lexa." Clarke says as the brunette keeps her lips attached to her neck. Lexa mumbles against her skin, an incoherent protest Clarke is sure, and the blonde laughs. "I shower on the night to save time in the morning, you know that." Clarke says and the brunette groans in frustration. 

"Maybe I can join you." She mutters against the skin of Clarke's neck and the blonde shakes her head, bringing Lexa's lips away from her neck. 

"No, because I don't want any of your funny business." Clarke retorts and Lexa scoffs in faux offence, leaning back from the blonde. 

"Funny business?" She asks. "I'll have you know that I am very professional and have a very strong willpower to resist temptation, I can't say the same about you Clarke." Clarke knew what Lexa was trying to do, she was trying to get a rise out of Clarke's competitive side, but the blonde was not about to give her the satisfaction, they were both stubborn that way, plus, maybe Lexa had a point about Clarke being the one with the funny business. 

"Seriously," Clarke says, pushing Lexa up so she can sit. "I need to shower." She pecks Lexa on the cheek when the brunette pouts and chuckles a little at the sight. "You can join me another night but, for now, Oreo can keep you company." 

"He's asleep in our room." Lexa points out and Clarke lets out a breathy laugh, tossing her phone down on the coffee table. She pauses for a moment, before she grabs the hem of her t-shirt and pulls it over her head, she tosses it at Lexa and stands shirtless in her bra. 

"Keep that next to you and you won't even notice I'm missing." Clarke says with a wink and Lexa just gapes at the sight of Clarke in a bra. Her brain forgets how to function at the sight and, for a moment, all she can do is take deep laboured breaths and ogle over her fiancée - she was feeling a lot like a hormonal teenager rather than a twenty seven year old. 

"You're going to be the death of me Clarke Griffin." Lexa finally manages and the blonde throws a wink over her shoulder before closing the bathroom door. 

Lexa shakes her head, removing the discarded shirt from her shoulder, she sets it down beside her and turns the TV on. She hears the shower turn on in the bathroom and stretches her feet out on the coffee table in front of her, the TV playing some trashy reality TV show, while she flips absentmindedly through a wedding magazine that her mom had saddled her with, when Clarke's phone chimes signalling a text message. 

Lexa ignores it at first, figuring it was probably Raven, or possibly Octavia, who had left recently on business, but Raven wouldn't text if she needed something, she'd simply come over, and Octavia was in a different timezone so, unless the brunette was having a late night, or could text in her sleep, Lexa doubted it was her. She shakes her head, trying to forget it, but her curiosity was getting the better of her so, when the phone chimes again to remind Lexa of the text, she gives in, too curious for her own good, even if the saying was that curiosity killed the cat. 

Lexa sets her magazine aside and sits up, scooping the phone up off of the table, the screen lighting up automatically. 

**[Luna] - Hey Clarke, I was wondering if you'd talked to Lexa yet?**

Lexa's brow furrows in confusion as she stares at the name  _ ‘Luna’  _ staring her right in the face. Lexa was not aware that Clarke had Luna's number, nor did she know that Clarke had spoken to her, and she was thoroughly confused by the question if Clarke had talked to her or not. 

Lexa stares at the message for a long moment, stuck between confusion, hurt and anger, she wasn't exactly sure how to feel. She hears Clarke exit the bathroom and enter the bedroom behind her to go put on something to sleep in. The brunette sits up, shaking her head for a second, before standing up. "Hey Lex," Clarke says as she comes out of the bedroom, toweling her hair, she'd grabbed one of Lexa's shirts and a pair of shorts to wear, and Lexa turns to face her with the blonde's phone still in her hand. Clarke frowns at the brunette in confusion at the look of bewilderment on her fiancée's face. 

"You-" Lexa pauses and clears her throat. "You have a message." She states, extending the phone to Clarke who furrows her brow and takes her phone. She hits the home button, and Lexa watches her carefully to gauge her reaction, she watches as Clarke's face pales and she looks up guiltily at Lexa. 

"I can explain." She says and Lexa crosses her arms across her chest, remaining silent, while gesturing for Clarke to continue with the subtle raising of her eyebrow. "She cornered me at work," Clarke explains. "I didn't know she was there, I was just doing my job, she was there and I had to treat her." Clarke says and Lexa reluctantly nods. "She started talking and, one thing lead to another, and we just got to talking." 

"About me apparently." Lexa replies shortly and Clarke bites her lip nervously. 

"You're mad," Clarke notes. "I was going to bring it up to you soon but we had wedding planning today, and Anya just got back yesterday, it was just really bad timing." 

"I'm not mad." Lexa says matter-of-factly and Clarke gives her a look of disbelief. 

"You're mad." The blonde says dismissively. "You've got this silent rage thing, if I didn't know you, then I would believe that you weren't angry, but you are, your eyes are your biggest give away." Lexa frowns, feeling her defensive stubborn side kick in. 

"Well of course I'm mad!" Lexa raises her voice and Clarke's eyes soften immediately. "Not at you, I think, I don't know, I'm just..." Lexa's words fail her, and she almost wants to scream, she feels frustrated, angry, confused, but it's mostly at Luna and not Clarke and taking it out on the blonde wouldn't be a good idea. 

"I think you should just talk it out with her," Clarke encourages. "I think it would-" 

"She  _ betrayed  _ me!" Lexa interrupts. "I can't just forgive her." 

"Will you listen to yourself?" Clarke asks in disbelief, her own voice raising. "You sound like a bitter child who didn't get their way." Clarke says and Lexa goes to protest but the blonde glares at her. "I get it Lexa, really, I do, but you don't know the whole story, I thought you didn't like to make assumptions? Yet you've kind of made a big one, and you're making Luna out to be the villain in this story when, in reality, she's just as much the victim as you are." Clarke fumes. 

"Why do you even care?" Lexa asks in exasperation throwing her arms out in front of her for emphasis 

"Because I care about  _ you _ !" Clarke explodes. "Because I love you, and you holding this grudge isn't going to make you happy." Clarke says angrily and Lexa's frown deepens. 

"I care about you too," Lexa grits. " _ deeply _ ." Lexa adds and Clarke takes a step back. The pair stare at one another for a tense moment before Clarke breaks out into laughter, stepping forward to cup Lexa's face with her hands. 

"Why are we yelling?" Clarke asks and Lexa shrugs, she leans forward and places her forehead against Clarke's, drinking in her familiar comfort. She lets Clarke's words stew for a moment in her head, and also her mother's that she had said to her at the tux fitting, maybe she should let Luna tell her side of the story, Clarke was right, Lexa had assumed things, which she didn't often do, but hurt and grief had made her do such things, and she kind of missed Luna, they had been so close at one point. 

Lexa sighs, sinking further into Clarke, she kisses the blonde on the cheek and she tilts her head down and wraps her arms around Lexa's back while the brunette rests her chin on top of her head. "You're right." Lexa concedes. "I owe her that much." 

"So you're not angry?" Clarke questions hesitantly and Lexa smiles softly, closing her eyes. 

"At Luna? Maybe. At you? Never." Lexa says and Clarke pulls back, catching Lexa's green gaze with her blue one. "I'll hear her out." Lexa decides, her mom and Clarke were right, forgiveness was hard but sometimes it was necessary, she knew that now. 

"Okay," Clarke whispers. "now how about we go to bed and cuddle for a while?" Clarke suggests, running her thumb gently over Lexa's cheek, she was glad that hadn't turned into much of a fight, and that Lexa wasn't as angry as Clarke had first thought she would've been. 

Lexa nods, she missed her fiancée, this was the first whole day that Lexa had had with her in so long and she'd loved every second of it, she didn't want to end it on a bad note, and, really, Clarke doing what she had just made Lexa fall even more in love with her, it showed that she cared, that she was compassionate, and she'd be crazy to hold that against the blonde - she did kind of wish Luna hadn't cornered her though. "Come on," Clarke encourages, tugging on Lexa's shirt, and the brunette complies, standing up and following after Clarke into their room. 

God, Lexa loved that woman, and, if she wasn't already, she'd even say that one day she'd marry her but she knew that for certain. Lexa didn't just want the in-between moments with Clarke, she wanted the whole damn package, she wanted a  _ lifetime _ .

****  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of discovered North by Sleeping At Last while I was writing this chapter, but it was after I wrote the tattoo/painting scene, and I was blown away with how much it mirrored that scene, and it's basically the theme song for this fic, so I recommend you listen to it if you get the chance. Anyway, I felt a little off when writing this, so I'm sorry if my writing isn't what it normally is :(, but minimal angst as promised, they got a little mad at each other but Lexa's talk with her mother was kind of the reason why she wasn't that angry with Clarke, she kind of did want to talk to Luna and now she has a bridge to do just that, and Clarke loves Lexa so much that she just wants her to be happy, so both of them are trying to do the best for each other. Anywho, hopefully I'll see y'all asap and come say hi @sparia-slays on Tumblr ;)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa glances up from her book and flashes Clarke a half smile, that makes Clarke's heart leap out of her chest, before the brunette's eyes are back down looking at her page. Clarke smiles at the sight, a part of her loves that these small actions are enough for Clarke to just know, for her to understand Lexa completely, Lexa doesn't need to say ‘hi’, or profess her feelings, because her eyes, the small gestures that she does, tells Clarke all she needs to know and that half smile is no different. 
> 
> Or, some sickness and comfort and some other stuff too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, would you look at that? I'm not dead! I know it's been a while but I've had killer writers block, I actually had this done a while ago but couldn't get around to actually going through it because I suck at time management, I also got dragged into watching Supergirl which I adore. Anyway, this chapter is super cute and I actually wrote it when I was sick - but I like to just lay around on the couch and profess I'm dying whenever I'm sick, even if it is just a cold, so... I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Lexa was relaxing on her sofa, ready to do some work, when Raven Reyes walks into her apartment carrying something that looks like a cigarette between her teeth and, somehow, a wide grin on her face. "Hello gorgeous!" Raven greets brightly. Lexa narrows her eyes, zoning in on the thing between Raven's teeth, and, as soon as she realises what it is, recognising the smell and the lazy sluggish movements of Raven, she frowns. 

 

"Are you seriously smoking weed in my apartment right now?" Lexa asks in disbelief. Raven rolls her eyes, taking a long draw from her blunt before taking more steps into the apartment. 

 

"A little drugs never hurt anybody." Raven responds but she pauses, as if that sentence didn't really sound right, before she shrugs it off lazily with a goofy smile. Lexa shakes her head and refrains from face palming at the brunette. 

 

"Raven," Lexa sighs. "I'm a lawyer, it's my job to-" 

 

"Oh, relax legally brunette," Raven says with an eye roll, sitting down beside Lexa, bouncing a little with the force of which she sits down with. "it's prescribed." She says dismissively, leaning back against the back of the couch. "You need to chill green eyes, do you want some of this?" Raven asks, taking the blunt from her mouth and handing it towards Lexa. Lexa contemplates it for a moment before she shakes her head - she's never even smoked a cigarette before and she doesn't really feel like smoking  _ anything  _ if she's honest. 

 

Raven shrugs and brings the blunt back to her mouth. "I won't smoke with you but I'm always up for a drink." Lexa says with a smile and Raven returns the smile. 

 

"I knew there was a reason I liked you." Raven says and Lexa chuckles, standing up, she heads to the kitchen grabs two beers and reruns to her seat next to Raven. "So how come I'm just finding out about your legal drugs now?" Lexa asks curiously, she figured it would've come up at some point in the months that Lexa had known the mechanic, but she's heard literally nothing of the sorts. 

 

"It's for my leg," Raven explains. "I only take it when it really bothers me but, most days, I'm good without it." Lexa smiles softly at Raven and pops the lids off of their beers, handing one to Raven after she discards of the last of her blunt. The mechanic takes the beer and taps it against Lexa's as they both take a sip and sit back in the sofa, raising their feet to sit on the table. 

 

Lexa had been spending more and more time with Raven and, actually, they both got along really well - though sometimes Lexa did find the brunette kind of ridiculous with her sarcastic snark but she loved her anyway. "Do you want like, a massage or something?" Lexa offers. Raven gives her an amused smile, she twists around on the couch to face the lawyer, she spins around and places her left leg on Lexa's lap. 

 

"Go for it bambi." Raven says and Lexa groans - she was going to kill Clarke for spreading that nickname. "So where is the blonde wonder?" Raven asks and Lexa genuinely didn't know where Raven came up with all of these nicknames - she's even heard her call Octavia Pocahontas. 

 

"Work." Lexa replies, placing her free hand on Raven's knee, attempting to loosen the brace so she could massage the mechanic's leg. She begins kneading Raven's leg and the mechanic relaxes back against the sofa with a content sigh. 

 

"Is that green tea?" Raven asks, noticing a cup on the coffee table. Lexa would never admit it but she felt like she was coming down with something, her throat was scratchy and she just felt down right exhausted, and out of it, but she was never one to show that kind of weakness and, she didn't like to admit it either but, she'd read on the internet that tea helped soothe a sore throat - plus Lexa just had the stuff lying around since she was more of a coffee woman anyway. 

 

"Yeah, I was just trying something." Lexa brushes off and Raven shrugs. 

 

"So Clarke mentioned something about a Luna?" Raven asks and she was getting suspiciously comfy on the sofa, almost like she was getting ready to sleep, but Lexa continues her massaging. "About a dinner or something?" Raven continues opening one eye to glance at Lexa who had gone quiet. 

 

"Do you not have dinner from time to time with people whom you hate?" Lexa asks sarcastically and Raven snorts at that. 

 

" _ Whom _ ? Who are you? The queen of England?" Raven asks and Lexa laughs at the brunette and how she actually found it genuinely funny. Raven giggles a little and Lexa raises her eyebrows in surprise. 

 

"Did Raven Reyes just giggle?" Lexa asks teasingly and Raven glares at her, though she comes off as more of a pouting puppy than anything else. 

 

"Shut up green eyes," She says. "have you got anything to eat? Like anything good? Lincoln just buys kale and it's like, what the fuck  _ is  _ that stuff? I'm a human, not a rabbit." Lexa laughs again and stops her massaging, receiving a grunt of disapproval from the mechanic. 

 

"I happen to eat kale too." Lexa replies and Raven gives her a look. 

 

"Somehow, that doesn't surprise me." She says dryly. Lexa rolls her eyes and pushes herself up, she goes to her kitchen and roots around in the freezer for a moment, by ‘good’ Raven meant junk food and Lexa didn't know anything better to binge on than cookie dough ice cream. 

 

She returns to the living room with the tub of ice cream and spoons, to find Raven had put some chick flick on that Lexa had never heard of, and the brunette settles beside the mechanic and offers her a spoon, setting the tub between them. Lexa and Raven had become good friends, great friends, maybe even best friends, and the mechanic often kept Lexa company whenever Clarke wasn't around which, thanks to Clarke's unpredictable schedule as a resident, was quite often. Lexa didn't mind so much, she was happy to support Clarke in what she was doing, and Raven wasn't bad company, and, now that Anya was home, she had Lincoln, Raven and Anya to keep her entertained, plus maybe it was a little funny to see how Raven became all squirmy when in the presence of Lexa's best friend, not to mention the snark between those two was off the charts funny, and then, at night, Lexa gets to retreat to bed with Clarke, her fiancée, the one woman she really wants to see, and that's okay. 

 

The ice cream manages to soothe Lexa's throat further and she grabs the throw over to wrap herself in, she looks at the pile of work she was about to do and sniffles a little, she really can't be bothered to do a pile of work, especially when she feels so down, and just plain shitty, plus her stomach feels weird and maybe she shouldn't have ate that ice cream after all. "You okay there commander?" Raven asks and, if Lexa didn't know any better, she would think that Raven sounded concerned. 

 

"Fine." Lexa grunts back and Raven gives her a look that says she doesn't quite believe her but she must take the hint because she doesn't push any further and maybe that's another thing that Lexa really likes and respects about the brunette. 

 

Lexa closes her eyes for a moment and when she opens them again Raven is gone and Lexa is lying down, fully across the sofa, with a pillow tucked underneath her head, which she certainly hadn't have been before.

 

**//**

 

Clarke hates her job. She hates it mostly because she misses her fiancée and tonight she's feeling especially sappy - though that might have something to do with the tequila she'd consumed after Wells had managed to suck her into going to the bar with him after work. 

 

Okay, maybe she didn't hate her job but, she really did when she gets home and she's greeted by this: Lexa, in all her beautiful glory, sits on their sofa, curled up, glasses perched on her nose, her wild curly hair loose from the tight bun it had been twisted into this morning when Clarke had left for work and she was wearing her button down half open and untucked, about as informal as Lexa got nowadays with her work really taking off. Lexa called Clarke handsy when she's ingested tequila but, Clarke tends to believe that she's more affectionate than anything else. 

 

Lexa glances up from her book and flashes Clarke a half smile, that makes Clarke's heart leap out of her chest, before the brunette's eyes are back down looking at her page. Clarke smiles at the sight, a part of her loves that these small actions are enough for Clarke to just know, for her to understand Lexa completely, Lexa doesn't need to say ‘hi’, or profess her feelings, because her eyes, the small gestures that she does, tells Clarke all she needs to know and that half smile is no different. 

 

There she is, Lexa Woods, looking soft and cosy and so,  _ so _ , beautiful and Clarke can't help herself so she drifts over to the brunette and collapses beside her. Lexa chuckles quietly to herself and Clarke finds herself beaming from the small sound - she's still not entirely used to the feeling that Lexa's laugh, even a small chuckle, rouses inside of her but she does know that she would never want to change it for the world, it's one of her favourite sounds. 

 

Clarke's pretty sure she smells like a frat house at the moment, some guy had been smoking at the bar and, when Clarke had started to get pissed off at him, stating all the unhealthy reasons as to not to smoke, the guy responded by blowing the smoke towards her - not that Clarke could really say anything since she used to smoke for a short period of time in college but that was a long time ago. 

 

Clarke says nothing and simply stares at the side of her fiancée's head, smiling to herself, as Lexa read her book in silence. Then Lexa lets out a dramatic sigh and turns her head to look at Clarke, she raises her eyebrows in silent gesture for Clarke to say what she was thinking. Clarke grins at the brunette and leans forward to press her lips against the ones across from her. Lexa lets out the softest of sighs and she melts into the kiss effortlessly - despite the fact that Clarke knows she probably tastes a little like tequila. "I missed you." Clarke mumbles against the brunette's lips, effectively ruining their kiss but, she doesn't really mind since it entices another soft chuckle from her fiancée and, yeah, that was Clarke's favourite sound in the world. 

 

Despite how unromantic mumbling words against your significant other's lips is, Lexa just smiles at Clarke, who leans in for another peck, Lexa rests her fingers on Clarke's forehead, preventing her from getting any closer, and Clarke pouts. The brunette removes her fingers, lifts one in a ‘one moment’ gesture, and turns away before she sneezes and looks back at Clarke. 

 

Clarke doesn't get it. She really doesn't understand how someone can look so fucking hot after literally  _ sneezing  _ but, somehow, Lexa manages it. Her hair is a little disheveled, thanks to her sneeze, and she has reddening eyes, the doctor in Clarke can already see the onset of a cold but she's sure Lexa's denying that possibility with all of her heart. "You're drunk." Lexa states and Clarke smiles happily at her, shifting closer so she can feel Lexa's warmth. 

 

"Tipsy." Clarke corrects and, really, she's not  _ that  _ drunk... but she's certainly not sober either. "You're sick." Clarke retorts and the brunette immediately frowns, her brow furrowing, she shakes her head in protest and Clarke knows for a fact that, if the brunette wasn't trying to look fit and healthy, she would be pouting right about now because Lexa is the cutest person who has ever lived, at least, she is to Clarke. 

 

"Woods' don't get sick," Lexa says stubbornly and Clarke notices the steaming cup of green tea set on the coffee table and she knows that Lexa knows she's getting sick - plus Lexa’s statement wasn't exactly true but Clarke didn't feel like bringing Lexa's mom into the conversation. "I'm not sick." Lexa protests and Clarke chuckles staring pointedly at the the cup of tea - Lexa was more,  _ is _ , a coffee person, black too. "That's just a precaution," Lexa says dismissively. "I'd say I missed you too but I'm beginning to reevaluate that statement." Clarke rolls her eyes in fond amusement, knowing fine well that Lexa was lying. 

 

Clarke pulls her feet up and tucks them underneath herself, she turns to face Lexa and smiles brightly. "So, did you see Raven today?" Clarke asks and Lexa narrows her eyes suspiciously. She'd had an inkling that Clarke had sent the mechanic to check up on her but she hadn't been certain and the fact that Clarke was asking her such questions simply confirmed her suspicions. 

 

"Yes," Lexa replies. "she was smoking contraband." Clarke snorts at Lexa's use of the word ‘contraband’ and the brunette gives her a playful glare. 

 

"You look really cute all cozy in that blanket." Clarke singsongs and Lexa rolls her eyes, before she turns back to her open book, pushing her glasses up her stuffy nose. 

 

"Hey," Clarke nudges Lexa gently with her foot and the brunette turns to face her. "so when are we having that dinner with Luna?" Clarke asks curiously. She had been getting bombarded by text messages by the woman and Clarke was beginning to feel a little guilty about not replying anything other than 'she said she'd think about it.' Lexa had basically said yes but, since it was taking so long for Lexa to organise a date, Clarke hadn't wanted to back her into a corner of saying definitely yes so that she could back out of it if she really wanted to. "I thought we were having dinner with her sometime?" Clarke asks lightly. 

 

Lexa brings her hand up to her mouth and lets out a pitiful,  _ fake _ , cough. "I'm sick." She says sarcastically and Clarke snorts at her lame antics - she was such a dork. 

 

"Oh, so  _ now  _ you're sick?" Clarke asks, moving towards her fiancée, she takes the book from her grasp and gently sets it down on the coffee table, leaving it open so Lexa wouldn't lose her page, Lexa just allows Clarke to do so and she braces herself for something to happen, preferably a kiss, but all she gets is a hand placed on her forehead and a concerned Clarke looking at her. "You're burning up." Clarke says with a small frown. 

 

"I've been told I'm quite hot." Lexa says with a smile and Clarke narrows her eyes. In her experience, a cold, or the flu, or whatever Lexa has, usually gets worse before it gets better, if the girl feels terrible now, which Clarke suspects she does, then she'll probably only feel worse later. 

 

"Dork." Clarke states before standing up, she was suddenly sober, she stumbles a little to the kitchen - okay, maybe she wasn't  _ completely  _ sober - and grabs a glass of water and a pill for the brunette. 

 

She returns to see Lexa shrugging off her blanket and unbuttoning her shirt further. "Here." Clarke practically forces the glass of water and medicine into Lexa's hand who peers up at the blonde. Lexa wasn't good at taking pills, she always felt like she would choke on the things, plus, she's  _ not  _ sick. 

 

"Clarke-" Lexa begins to protest but Clarke gives her her best stern doctor look. 

 

"Take the medicine Lexa," Clarke says, leaving no room for argument. "there's no discussion here." Lexa grumbles, but takes the medicine regardless, before she stands up and unbuttons her shirt all the way. Clarke raises an eyebrow and Lexa shrugs. 

 

"I'm hot." She replies simply. 

 

_ I'll say _ , Clarke thinks. 

 

Then Lexa's frowning and making her way towards the bedroom, she strips so she's in only her underwear and Clarke watches from the doorway. "You're cold now aren't you?" Clarke asks, watching as goosebumps rise on the woman's arms, and Lexa nods reluctantly. Clarke wasn't surprised if she was honest, Lexa had been so snug and covered before and now she had changed into a t-shirt and shorts, which hadn't been against a warm body, and were probably really cold compared to Lexa's overheating one, but it was good for her to stay cool, even if she felt freezing, strictly speaking, being too cold is way better than being too hot. 

 

Lexa turns around and Clarke steps forward, she removes Lexa's glasses from her nose, places them folded down on the chest of drawers and then places a soft kiss to the woman's cheek. "Bed." Clarke orders. "Get some rest, you should call in sick tomorrow." 

 

"Ridiculous," Lexa says, turning towards her bed, she climbs under the covers and makes a shivering sound from the coldness of the sheets there. "I'll be fine in the morning, you'll see." 

 

"Lexa," Clarke says, her voice sounding similar to that of a warning tone that a mother might use on a child. "I guess we'll see." Clarke says, changing herself, she slips in beside Lexa and pushes the girl away when she feels her snuggling closer to her. Lexa really was warm, unbelievably so, and she couldn't risk overheating the girl by cuddling her. 

 

"Just sleep beautiful," Clarke says softly. She was almost entirely sober by now, thanks to her worry and nursing of her fiancée. "we'll cuddle when you're not as hot as an oven." Clarke watches as Lexa sighs and snuggles into her pillow instead. 

 

"I'm not sick." She sleepily mumbles into her pillow and Clarke finds herself smiling at the sight, completely infatuated and endeared at how adorable Lexa really is, and all Clarke could think was just how in love she actually was with this amazing woman. 

 

**//**

 

When Clarke wakes up the next morning Lexa is not beside her as she should be, instead, Clarke is greeted by spaces of empty sheets thrown half hazardously away. Clarke sits up immediately, her blonde hair curlier than usual thanks to bed head hair, the blonde pushes herself up out of the bed and runs a hand through her hair as she yawns. The bedroom door was thrown open, left open for god knows what reason. A part of Clarke was panicking a little, the last time she'd awoken with no Lexa beside her had been in a dream, which had quickly become a nightmare, but she figured it was probably best to remain calm, Lexa could've been awake for any reason. 

 

Clarke exits the bedroom and immediately halts at the sight that greets her, a smile of pure fondness finds its way to her lips and Clarke just observes it for a moment. Flat out on the couch was Lexa, the throwover was not at all effective in covering her, and it was clear she had kicked it off at some point in her sleep so it was half on and half off her, perched on the back of the couch asleep was Lexa's personal mascot Oreo and Lexa was drooling,  _ actually drooling _ , as her breathing came out a little unevenly and heavy - clearly Lexa was having a hard time breathing through her nose due to her illness. 

 

Clarke takes a couple steps forward and then leans against the back of the couch, just left of Oreo's head, and looks down at Lexa's face. She was dead to the world, at least, she looked it, Clarke wasn't even sure a bullhorn could wake the sleeping beauty. "Lex," Clarke says gently, despite the dead to the world look, Clarke still didn't want to yell Lexa awake. "babe." Clarke reaches down and gently caressed the brunette's cheek - the side that didn't have drool dripping down it. 

 

Lexa was still burning up, and Clarke was about to leave her to sleep a little longer when the brunette slowly blinks open her eyes, taking a surprised breath in and licking her lips. Her green eyes were a little dull compared to their normally vivid colour and she had dark circles under her eyes suggesting that it hadn't been an easy night for her - which Clarke wasn't surprised she hadn't realised, when Clarke sleeps, she  _ sleeps _ . "Good morning sleeping beauty." Clarke says, smiling down at Lexa, who wipes her mouth and cheek with her hand and then onto her clothes. 

 

"Ugh," She says, smacking her lips together. "why does my mouth taste like death?" 

 

"Good question," Clarke says standing upright. "why are you on the couch?" Clarke asks. Lexa looks around for a moment before looking back up at Clarke. 

 

"I threw up a couple of times," Lexa admits. "but I'm totally okay now." Clarke rolls her eyes and makes her way towards the kitchen to make Lexa some tea to help with her scratchy throat. 

 

Oreo decides to follow after Clarke, nuzzling between her feet when she stands still at the counter. Clarke pops two toast in for herself, boils the kettle and then begins preparing Lexa some soup, sure that the woman probably doesn't want a proper breakfast. "You know," Lexa calls from the living room as Clarke snacks on her toast and makes Lexa her tea and soup. "I've managed not to throw up in like... three hours. I think I can go to work." Clarke picks up Lexa's tea and enters the living room. She places the drink on the coffee table and looks down at the brunette with a scowl. 

 

"Lexa, you're not going anywhere," Clarke says. "you're sick, just take the day off." 

 

"What? No, I'm totally fine, look." The brunette sits up grimacing as she does so before she quickly retreats back down to her lying position. "You know what, I'm cool lying down at the minute." 

 

"It's worse when you sit up isn't it?" Clarke asks, already knowing the answer to that question. 

 

"No..." Lexa responds and Clarke turns her head to the side in a  _ ‘really’  _ expression and the brunette looks away briefly in her stubbornness, she remains quiet for a little while, with Clarke's eyes boring into her, before she responds. 

 

"Yes." She admits. Clarke smiles smugly before standing and heading hack into the kitchen. She places Oreo's food down on the ground, so the feline can eat, and then polishes off her own breakfast. When she re enters the living room, Lexa hasn't shifted, and her tea is untouched, so Clarke just puts the soup down beside the beverage. 

 

She perches herself on the edge of the couch and Lexa looks up at her helplessly. Clarke knows Lexa hates feeling weak, she hates to show it, but even Lexa isn't impervious to illness, she needs to just sweat it out on the couch but something told Clarke that that was something the brunette was extremely reluctant to fulfill. She sighs, and places a soft comforting kiss to Lexa's forehead, before she stands to reluctantly get dressed. 

 

When she's dressed for the day and returns to the living room Lexa is sitting upright, the throwover thrown over her shoulders and the cup of tea between her hands. She looks deathly pale, kind of like what Clarke would assume a vampire would look like, there's beads of sweat across her brow and her hair is matted and greasy. "Oh Lex," Clarke says. "you need to stay home today, I mean it." Clarke says, watching as Oreo settles beside Lexa on the sofa. Lexa purses her lips, but doesn't respond, and Clarke sighs, she knows Lexa's stubbornness exceeds the reason of the universe but she severely hopes she's not going to be  _ that  _ stubborn and actually go to work. 

 

She looks at her watch and sees that she should really get going. "Hey," Clarke says, sitting on the coffee table in front of her. "I love you okay, but  _ please  _ be reasonable about this." Clarke says. She stands up and leans forward to place a kiss to Lexa's forehead, lingering for a moment as he brunette's eyes flutter closed and she seemingly soothes Lexa's sickness for a moment. Clarke kind of wishes she didn't have to go to work so she could stay home and look after her fiancée, but she can't risk missing a single day of her residency, plus Lexa would never want her to stay home from work for her, she was selfless and stubborn like that. 

 

Clarke grabs her bag and makes her way towards the front door. She looks over her shoulder and fires Lexa one more serious, stem look as her hand lands on the doorknob. " _ Stay _ home." She says warningly and Lexa rolls her eyes. 

 

"I get it." Lexa responds, it's not the response that Clarke wants but, if she doesn't leave now, then she's going to be late. For someone so dramatic, Lexa sure had a hard time milking her illness for some reason. Clarke decides she just has to accept the brunette's response and leaves without saying anything else. 

 

She just hopes Lexa doesn't leave the apartment.

 

**//**

 

Clarke was walking down the hospital hallway with Wells beside her as she reviewed one of her patient's charts as they walked. "I just can't believe her parents would do that to her." Wells says, his voice rising a little in anger. Clarke sighs, she understood what Wells was saying, and the fact that Wells was getting angry really said it all, since her friend was often cool headed in all situations, even the really tough ones like this particular case, but there was little they could do. 

 

"I know," Clarke says, handing Wells the chart for him to review. "but she's sixteen, we're obligated to contact the parents of a minor  _ even  _ if they don't want us too." Clarke reminds him and he lets out a grumble, emphasizing his frustration at the situation. 

 

"Maybe we should call child protective services?" Wells suggests and Clarke chews on her bottom lip. 

 

"Look, I hate this just as much as you do, trust me," Clarke says seriously as they enter the main lobby of the hospital. "but our attending, the chief of peds, never told us to contact child protective services, and those places, as disgusting and degrading as they are, are fucking legal, even though they're fucked up and clearly don't work, but they're legal, if the parents choose to send their child there then there's nothing we can do to stop them." Clarke lets out a frustrated, aggravated, sigh and slams the tablet that Wells hands her down into the charging station that was by the nurses's station. Wells leans against the wall and crosses his arms across his chest he, lets out a huff of defeat and gazes out at the floor of the hospital. 

 

The pair remain silent, wallowing in their anger and pity for the kid, trying to delay as much time as they could before they inevitably had to call the kid's parents. Wells frowns and Clarke, in return, frowns at the boy's frown. He stands up straight and squints at something out on the hospital floor. "Um, Clarke, is that your fiancée?" He asks, laughing a little in amusement at the end of his question. Clarke, who was completely confused by this statement since the last she had seen Lexa was being dramatic, lying on their couch, while being sick, turns around to see if Wells was correct. 

 

She sees her immediately, which doesn’t surprise Clarke in the slightest, she's certain she could pick Lexa's face out of a thousand of faces and, honestly, Lexa always somehow manages to steal Clarke's attention, even in the crowded lobby of a hospital. Clarke notices the woman is swaying a little on her feet, she's a little pale and sweaty, and she doesn't look good or healthy even in the slightest, though, despite her obvious illness, she still manages to look completely stunning. 

 

Clarke steps around the nurses' station and makes a beeline for Lexa, halting in front of her fiancée with a look of disapproval. " _ Lexa _ ?" Clarke asks, stopping in front of the woman, she crosses her arms across her chest and gives Lexa her best scowl. Lexa shouldn't be out of bed, never mind standing in the middle of a hospital waiting room, so Clarke was a little confused as to what exactly she was doing. "What are you  _ doing  _ here?" Clarke asks, reaching a hand out, she touches her hand to Lexa's cheek and almost immediately retracts when she feels the brunette's burning skin. 

 

"I'm fine," Lexa says dismissively, swatting Clarke's hand away from her face, but the way her voice slurred, like she was mildly drunk - which Clarke knew she wasn't - made Clarke a little concerned. 

 

"Indra told me to go home, gave me a couple of sick days, I'm  _ not  _ sick, but she's as stubborn as an ox so, I figured, I'd surprise you for lunch." Lexa says with a bright smile, like that was the best idea in the world, the woman stumbles a little on her feet, despite the fact that she was standing upright. 

 

"Are you serious right now?" Clarke asks in disbelief. She secures her hands on Lexa, keeping her upright, as the brunette closes her eyes and sags down a little, her body too weak to support itself. "Your denial has taken a whole new level, this is ridiculous." Clarke says - she couldn't believe that Lexa was  _ still  _ saying that she wasn't sick when she so clearly was. 

 

"I'm a little sleepy," The brunette mumbles, sinking further down, and Clarke secures her arms around her torso. "maybe I should take a nap." She says, with a yawn, before passing out - probably from exhaustion. 

 

"Can I get a gurney over here!" Clarke yells while she tries to support her fiancée's weight as best she can but, a sick Lexa is a lot heavier than normal Lexa, which is weird, Clarke knows, but it's true. 

 

A moment later, Wells is by Clarke's side, helping her place Lexa onto the gurney. "We should get her started on an IV drip, I think she's a little dehydrated and she needs rest." Clarke explains to her childhood friend who nods, unlocking the gurney wheels for Clarke to begin pushing. 

 

"Hey, I have an idea." Clarke says with a mischievous smile and Wells raises his eyebrows in question. Clarke begins pushing the gurney towards the room that Wells and herself had just been in with Wells following suit. The pair come to the room and Clarke winks at her friend before backing into the room with her passed out fiancée. 

 

The girl in the bed sits up a little as they enter; she frowns when she sees that they have someone else on a gurney coming into the room. "We're having a little bit of a space issue at the moment so we're going to have to double you up, is that okay?" Clarke asks sweetly with a bright smile to help comfort the girl further. It seems to do the trick and the girl relaxes back into her bed with a small nod of understanding. 

 

Wells helps Clarke transfer her sleeping fiancée from the gurney to the hospital bed and then takes his leave, probably to go call the girl's parents, while Clarke tended to a sleeping Lexa. Clarke sighs and covers the woman up under the thin hospital blankets, she smiles with fond amusement as the woman shuffles and mumbles something incoherent in her sleep. "Who is she?" The girl asks curiously. Clarke glances over her shoulder before coming around the other side of Lexa's bed so she could set up an IV drip and talk directly to the sixteen year old girl. 

 

"She's my fiancée," Clarke says with a smile, while gently sweeping loose strands of brunette hair from Lexa's face, she notices the girl's face light up at that information and Clarke smiles sadly. "and she's incredibly stubborn and decided to go to work when she's sick." Clarke says, disapproval dripping from her tone, she was going to have a word with Lexa about that when she woke up but, for now, she was more than willing to be a doting fiancée. 

 

"She must really love her job." The girl responds and Clarke swears she sounds a little emotional. 

 

"She does," Clarke relents. "a lot, she's a lawyer." The girl sits up a little trying to get comfortable with her new sling and cast that was on her arm. 

 

"So you're..." The girl says before trailing off awkwardly. "And she's..." She trails off again and Clarke chuckles. She finishes up putting the IV in place, and makes sure Lexa is completely covered by her blanket, before placing a soft kiss to her clammy forehead. 

 

"I'm bisexual," Clarke answers. "my future wife here is gay,  _ really  _ gay actually." Clarke says with a smile. Lexa turns over in her sleep and pulls her blanket closer to her; she looks kind of like a small child curled in a ball like she is and, also, quite obviously, sick. 

 

Clarke steps away from her fiancée and steps towards Elise pulling the curtain across the room a little to give them both a little more privacy. "At camp they say that being with the same sex is wrong," The girl says smalley and Clarke sighs adjusting her stethoscope that was around her neck. "they show us videos and..." The girl grimaces, which was enough for Clarke to get what she was insinuating. "They say it's wrong." She concludes, instead, looking at Clarke with wide eyes. Clarke gives her a reassuring smile and rests her hands on the handrail to the girl's bed. 

 

"I can't imagine what you've been through," Clarke says softly. "I don't understand how anyone can say that loving someone, no matter what gender, sexuality,  _ whatever _ , is wrong." Clarke lifts her hand up and flashes her engagement ring. "If you love someone, you tell them, you shout it from the rooftops because, I know, that sometimes you can lose someone in the blink of an eye." The girl looks at Clarke, watching as the blonde readjusts her standing position. "And that woman," Clarke lets out a small laugh. "in that bed, I love her more than anything,  _ ever _ , and I know that sounds really cliche and cheesy and like I'm just saying these things to convince you everything will be okay, but it's true." Clarke swallows thickly, trying to keep her emotions under wraps, she wasn't even sure why her eyes were watering, only that they were and her chest felt like it was getting tighter, like her rib cage wasn't strong enough to contain the love she felt for Lexa, it was overwhelming, and a little suffocating, like she was drowning, but in a good way, that made her feel so much more alive. "Love like that, it can't be wrong, you know, it just,  _ can't  _ be." Clarke says smiling at the young girl. 

 

"I know you feel like you don't have a say, like everything is just impossible, but, if there's anything I've learned through my teenage years, and my young adult years, it's that you have to live your life how you want to live it, you can't live by what your parents expect of you, and, just a little word of advice, usually there's always one parent who isn't completely in agreement, look for the weak link, break the chain, loving another person is not  _ wrong _ , in fact, it's one of the only good things that human beings are capable of." Clarke finishes. She watches as the girl beside her looks away in thought. 

 

Clarke didn't know exactly how the girl was feeling, sure, her mom had been a little hard at first but she'd never sent Clarke away to some camp, and she'd always had her dad by her side, but she couldn't really say anything to the parents, it was none of her business and, ethically, Clarke was only supposed to look out for her patient's health in the hospital, she couldn't tell the parents how to raise their daughter anymore than she could beat some sense into them. "Find the weak link, break the chain." The girl repeats and Clarke smiles. She bows her head a little in a silent goodbye as the teenager stews a little more in thought. 

 

"Dr Griffin," Elise calls and Clarke halts. "um, I don't think she should be here when my parents arrive." Elise says carefully, referring to Lexa of course, Clarke pauses at the doorway and looks at the girl from over her shoulder. 

 

"Trust me, Lexa would kill me if I moved her out of here," Clarke had an idea of what was going to happen and she sends a wink at the girl. "besides, I'm on your chart, when your parents get here I’m the first person to know." The girl nods and Clarke makes to leave again when she hears Elise's soft voice calling out again. 

 

"Thank you, Dr Griffin." She says shyly and Clarke smiles brightly at the young girl. 

 

"It's what I do." She replies before wondering off to get back to her resident duties.

 

**//**

Clarke was leaning against one of the hospital walls trying to catch her breath, she was incredibly tired from being on her feet all day - not to mention she had a sick fiancée and a young teenage girl playing on her mind all day. She needed some help relieving some of that stress so she called Raven, her trusty best friend, who Clarke could count on for anything - plus Lexa liked Raven and Clarke figured that if  _ she  _ couldn't keep an eye on her all day then Raven was the next best thing but Clarke kind of really wanted to just curl up beside Lexa and keep her company all day, and take care of her, but her schedule was far too crazy to allow her to do so. 

 

Clarke stands up straight when she sees Raven entering, she's a little greasy from her work, and she's currently stuffing her face with some kind of sandwich, but Clarke has never been happier to see the mechanic. As soon as Raven is within reaching distance, Clarke steals the girl's sandwich from her hands and takes a bite out of it barely suppressing a moan when she tastes the familiar taste of bacon. "Clarke, I love you and everything but, you don't mess with a girl's bacon." Raven says with a smirk and Clarke rolls her eyes taking another bite of the girl's food before handing it back to her. "So commander's out huh?" 

 

"Cold," Clarke confirms. "I'm really worried actually." 

 

"I'm sure it's just the flu, or a cold, or something," Raven reassures. "if she'd stayed in bed she'd probably recover a lot faster." She notes, eating more of her sandwich. Clarke chuckles because Raven was right and Lexa would hear about that later too. Realistically, Clarke knew that nothing was seriously wrong with Lexa but she was still a nervous wreck over it, she imagines it to be close to the feeling of a mother when their child gets sick, even though you know it's not serious, there's still that little bit of panic, and Clarke's pretty sure it's down to her anxiety of losing the brunette like she lost Finn. 

 

Clarke passes by Wells who pauses to talk to her for a moment. "Hey Clarke, the parents of that girl got here," He informs Clarke and Clarke freezes, her blood running cold. "I told them where to find her." 

 

"Wait," Clarke says, her heart beginning to race. "why didn't you page me?" Clarke blurts and Wells frowns at the blonde. 

 

"Well I just figured I could show them, I mean, my name's also on the chart so- Clarke? Where are you going?" Wells yells after a fleeing blonde and Raven grumbles. 

 

"Hey princess! I'm a little behind on my cardio, maybe you could slow your pace a little?" She calls down the hallway gaining a few glances from passersbys. Raven shrugs and carries on eating while breaking out into a jog, though she was limping a little and her brace was squeaking - she really had to get that fixed. 

 

Clarke barrels down the hallway, nearly crashing into a multitude of people, her sneakers screech against the polished hospital flooring and she comes to a breathless stop in the doorway of Elise's room, hearing a sarcastic Raven calling after her from down the hallway. "I don't want to go back to that camp mom!" Elise yells and Clarke bites her lip. "They hurt me, they're the people who broke my arm!" Clarke watches as the father shuffles a little on his feet, nervously, he glances at his wife, who remains strong and stubborn in her cause,  _ the weak link. _

 

"That camp is helping you," The mother says sternly. "they're going to help you with your... with your  _ sickness _ !" She spits the word and, to anyone listening in, it was clear what the mother was insinuating. Raven arrives next to Clarke a little breathless, still holding on to her sandwich with a firm grip.

 

"What did I miss?" Raven asks with a grin before turning to look towards the room. 

 

Before anyone could say anything else, the curtain that Clarke had pulled too before snaps back to reveal a shaky looking Lexa standing on her two feet, her eyes ablaze with anger and hurt and Clarke knew immediately that she should probably get in there, if not to help subdue the brunette's anger but, to keep her from toppling over. "Oh this is going to be good." Raven says leaning against the doorway as Clarke enters the room fully. 

 

"Excuse you," Lexa says, taking a wobbly step forward just as Clarke reaches her. "there is nothing wrong with your daughter, she isn't  _ sick _ , the only sick person here is  _ you _ ." Lexa snarls and despite her clammy and sickly pale complexion her voice doesn't waver in its resolve. "Those camps abuse children, they don't do shit, they don't work, and the only lasting thing they manage is to mentally and physically scar children!" Lexa says angrily and Clarke hides her smile while sticking her hands out to help steady her fiancée. 

 

"I'll take that camp down," Lexa swears, talking a little more to Elise than to her parents. "I will have my whole entire law firm look into it and we'll have it shut down and, you know what else," She points her finger at the woman. "I'll retire to bed with my beautiful fiancée, who happens to be a gorgeous, brilliant, surgeon and also, oh yeah, a  _ woman _ ! And we'll celebrate the closing of such a camp." Raven snickers from the doorway before playing it off as a cough as the mother glares at her. 

 

"I beg you pardon," The woman says angrily. "you've been poisoning my daughter's mind haven't you!" She accuses and Lexa almost growls, jolting forward in her anger, but Clarke keeps her still by holding onto her. Clarke knew that Lexa was passionate about these kinds of topics, despite the fact that she had been openly accepted by her mother, and her most important friends, she had been shunned and tormented by her school for her sexuality and any homophobia sent the woman into overdrive, she was more than passionate about it and Clarke had no doubt that she wasn't lying about taking the camp down. 

 

"You know what," Lexa begins and Clarke notices the signs before Lexa does. "it's people like you who-" The brunette's words die in her throat and she makes a sort of gagging noise before Clarke places the tray in front of her and Lexa begins vomiting her guts out. 

 

"Oh gross." Raven says from her position in the doorway, she looked far too entertained for Clarke's liking and she was still snacking away on her sandwich like this was some kind of show just for her entertainment pleasure. 

 

"Okay," Clarke says as Lexa turns away, bending over the bed as she continued to be sick. "Miss Gills, perhaps you and your husband could go for some coffee, take a little break and then come back later and we can discharge Elise for you." Clarke says and when she sees the mother about to protest, Clarke narrows her eyes at her. "I'm sorry Miss Gills if that sounded like a suggestion to you but I'm not asking." Clarke deadpans. The woman turns on her heel and storms out of the room, followed meekly by her husband, Raven rolls her eyes as the woman pushes past her and enters the room, watching as Lexa crawled back into the bed, curling up on her side while groaning. 

 

"Nice one legally brunette," Raven says teasingly. 

 

"I was convincing right?" Lexa asks with a groan as she peers up at Clarke who was holding her hand to her fiancée’s head and Raven who was stood next to her. 

 

"Oh yeah," Raven says. "right up until you spewed your guts out." 

 

"Oh God." Lexa says and Clarke glares at her best friend who simply shrugs. "My mouth tastes like vomit." She complains and Clarke chuckles helping to straighten out the woman's IV and to help her back under the covers. 

 

"Bacon?" Raven asks placing her bacon sandwich in Lexa's face who groans louder and turns even paler - if that was even possible. 

 

"I hate you Reyes." Lexa grumbles and Clarke laughs helping Lexa sit up a little. 

 

"Hate you too Woods." Raven replies sarcastically, obviously the pair didn't hate each other, in fact, they were both saying it like terms of endearment, and the small smile that spreads across Lexa's face is enough for Clarke to know that she found the situation amusing. 

 

Once Lexa's settled again, Clarke hits her on the shoulder which earns her an exaggerated  _ ‘ow’  _ in response. "What was that for?" She asks, rubbing her shoulder, and Clarke rolls her eyes. 

 

" _ That _ was for leaving the apartment," Clarke says with a scowl. "I can't believe you left." 

 

"I wasn't sick." Lexa protests but Clarke glares at her. The woman lets out a huff and looks away from her fiancée, feeling a little like a scolded child. "Fine, but I couldn't just call in sick." 

 

"You're adorably ridiculous." Clarke says, shaking her head a little at her fiancée, Lexa sounded as though calling in sick was the worst thing she could do, ever, and it was, well, it was ridiculously adorable. 

 

"Can I brush my teeth or something?" Lexa asks and Clarke nods her head. 

 

"I'll go get you something but, for now, lie down and rest." She commands, kissing Lexa on the forehead before taking off. Raven, who had now finished eating, was sitting in the chair at the side of Lexa's bed, her legs thrown up on top of the comforter, looking completely at home - that was something Lexa didn't get about Raven, her ability to, quite literally, relax everywhere and anywhere, even in Lexa's apartment, when she had first arrived it was kind of extraordinary, Lexa certainly couldn't make herself feel at home in every location she went too, she was far too anxious for that. 

 

Lexa looks to her left and sees the girl sitting in her bed, her head tilted down while obviously thinking about something. "Hey," Lexa says softly, turning on her side, Elise looks over and meets Lexa's green eyes across the room. "you were really brave there." Lexa says with a genuine smile - but she's sure it probably comes off as more of a wince than anything else. 

 

"Dr Griffin told me that I should stand up for myself," Elise confesses. "she told me to look for the weak link and break it." 

 

"Ah," Lexa says with a smile at the mention of her fiancée. "Dr Griffin is a smart woman." Raven snorts from her position in her chair and, when Lexa looks to her with a glare, the girl holds her hands up in mock surrender. "Sometimes people are mean for no reason," Lexa says turning back to the girl. "I'm sure your parents think they're doing what's best for you but, you and I both know, that's not true." 

 

"My dad," The girl says quietly. "he's the weak link." Lexa leans back against her pillow feeling a fresh wave of nausea roll over her before she focuses back on the girl. "She loves you a lot." The girl says looking at Lexa. Lexa frowns a little at the girl's words, her sick brain not fully understanding. "Dr Griffin," Elise clarifies. "she loves you." Lexa smiles and nods her head. 

 

"I love her too, very much." Lexa says and the girl smiles happily. 

 

"You scared her," The girl says and Lexa raises her eyebrows in confusion. "you went to work sick, showed up at the hospital and then collapsed.  _ You scared her _ ." Elise clarifies and Lexa feels her heart do a funny thing in her chest. "She didn't outwardly say it, or show it, or anything, but I could see it in her eyes as she was standing by your bedside. You scared her." Lexa feels a little guilty about that, she had been dehydrated, delusional and, yeah, sick. She hates to admit it, she's stubborn like that, but her puke kind of said it all, she was sicker than a dog and she'd still left her apartment that morning...  _ definitely  _ delusional. 

 

It wasn't her intention of scaring Clarke, in fact, that was the last thing that she wanted, somehow her foggy brain had decided that was a great idea and, as it turned out, Indra had thought it was a pretty damn terrible idea. "Yeah," Lexa relents. "I'll make that up to her later." Lexa swears and the girl smiles, for the first time in a while, at the brunette. "I was serious about before you know, I'll take that camp down." 

 

"She's not lying," Raven says, who had somehow acquired a mechanic magazine. "I may have only known green eyes here for a few months, but even I know she's incredibly resourceful  _ and  _ a good lawyer." 

 

"That might just be the kindest thing you've ever said to me." Lexa says with amusement and Raven waves her off dismissively with a wave of her hand. Lexa chuckles and looks back at Elise while shaking her head. 

 

"I just wish I was older, that I had been able to come out when I had a stable job and could support myself and I didn't have to live by my parents' rules," Elise vents. "instead I had to get careless, I always keep her notes hidden in a box under my bed but, my mom found them." Elise buries her face in her hands and Lexa softens. 

 

"If it makes you feel better," Lexa begins. "we may seem like responsible adults but, we're still kids, we still make mistakes, when I was in high school I was alienated by my peers for my sexuality, but when you accept yourself, it doesn't matter," Lexa continues. "all that matters is your own happiness, and once you accept yourself, it all falls into place." Elise goes to reply when Lexa notices her father appear in the doorway but, before she can stop Elise from talking, the girl has already started. 

 

"All I want is to be happy," She says sadly. "why don't my parents want me to be happy?" She asks. Lexa continues looking at the father, who looked completely guilty, he sighs and walks into the room coming to stand by the bedside of his daughter. 

 

"Come on sweetie," He says. "we're leaving." 

 

"What?" Elise asks, her eyes wide with either shock or surprise, Lexa wasn't sure. Lexa was ready to spring out of bed again, even if she was likely to vomit all over the floor, just to come to the girl's defense but the father placed a soft loving kiss to his daughter's head. 

 

"I don't care if you're gay," He says quietly. "all that matters to me is that your happy and healthy and..." He sighs and runs his hand over his short hair. "I told your mom to leave until she feels the same way." He confesses. "I love you Elise, I'm not sure where we went wrong, why we did what we did, I’m not sure your mom will ever get over her stubbornness but, it doesn't matter, because it's you and me, I love you and accept you and I want nothing more than for you to come home and be safe." Lexa's heart swells in her chest, it's moments like this she wished she had met her father, to have known what a father's love would've felt like, but she's more than happy with her mom and how loving and accepting she is. 

 

Elise stands up from her bed and hugs her father, she says a happy thank you to Lexa, who waves in response with a broad smile. Lexa relaxes back in her bed with a heavy sigh, she feels Raven watching her carefully when Clarke enters her room again coming to stand beside her bed. "Hey you." Clarke says, gently coaxing Lexa to open her eyes. 

 

Lexa smiles when she sees Clarke's beautiful blue eyes gazing down at her, and then she sees it, the concern, the worry, Lexa really was feeling better, she had a suspicion that it had to do with the drip she had attached to her arm, not to mention Clarke's presence. Clarke always made her feel better. "Hey." Lexa says with a smile and Clarke hands her a toothbrush and toothpaste. 

 

"Here you go." She says, pulling her stethoscope form around her neck, she listens to Lexa's heart briefly before taking her temperature. She really didn't want to leave Lexa again but, Clarke had a job to do, and she couldn't just abandon all of her patients for her fiancée - even if she really  _ really  _ wanted to. "I have some post-opts to check up on," Clarke says, running her fingers through the hair on the top of Lexa's head, she smiles as the brunette sighs at the contact. "are you going to be okay here?" She asks and Lexa nods, whimpering when Clarke withdraws her hand. "Raven will take care of you," Clarke says, sending a stern look to her best friend who simply salutes the blonde. "if you're hungry I'm sure you could probably keep soup down?" Lexa nods and Clarke bobs her head before walking towards the door. 

 

She pauses in the doorway when she hears Lexa call her name and looks over her shoulder at the brunette. "Thank you." She says earnestly and Clarke smiles and gives her a small shrug. 

 

"Anything." She responds before taking off down the hallway. 

 

"Wow, you two are sickening," Raven comments. "I might need to borrow that puke bowl myself." 

 

"Seriously, who let you into my room?" Lexa asks with a wide grin and Raven flips her off for good measure.

 

**//**

 

Clarke comes to find her sick fiancée at the end of her shift, though she doesn't bother to change out of her scrubs and white jacket since she was on call and didn't see the point of returning home when Lexa had been admitted for the night. She leans against the doorway to the room and smiles softly at the sight of Lexa, she looked much better now, not completely, but she wasn't as pale, or sweaty, which probably meant her fever was down, and she was resting much better than before now. 

 

Clarke could stare at her forever, her luscious brunette hair was braided into a single plait and moved to one side, Clarke knew Raven had done that when Lexa had complained that her hair was making her hot, her usually tanned complexion was still a pale hue, but slowly returning back to its normal colour, she was glowing and Clarke was completely entranced by the woman. "You're staring," Clarke startles a little when she hears Lexa's rough voice break the serene silence. Clarke laughs a little and takes a few steps into the room as Lexa blinks her eyes open and smiles at the blonde. 

 

"I tend to stare at beautiful things." Clarke responds, wrapping her arms around herself. She smiles when she sees a light blush colour Lexa's cheeks that she knows isn't related to the girl's fever. The lawyer shuffles up the bed and pats the space beside her for Clarke to come join her and the blonde doesn't hesitate. 

 

Clarke climbs onto the bed beside her fiancée and curls into her side, snuggling into the crook of her neck while Lexa lay her head against the top of Clarke's, the brunette virtually cradled Clarke in her arms while Clarke throws one arm over Lexa's waist and the other behind her back so they were both snuggling closer than ever. Clarke sighs and completely relaxes against Lexa, she wasn't too worried about catching the girl's sickness, having already been exposed to it all day anyway, she melts into her so easily and Lexa nuzzles against her in an affectionate kind of way that kind of reminds Clarke of Oreo - so yeah, Clarke wasn't kidding when she said Lexa was like a cat. 

 

The pair fall into a calm comfortable silence, so silent in fact, that Clarke wonders if maybe the brunette had fallen asleep. "I'm sorry." Lexa says, breaking their silence.  Clarke frowns but doesn't shift from her position of cuddling into the side of her fiancée. 

 

"What?" Clarke asks. "Why?" Lexa sighs and places her lips briefly against the top of Clarke's head. 

 

"I scared you today," Lexa says quietly, almost nervously, and Clarke opens her eyes. "I was a bad fiancée today." Lexa continues. Clarke goes to protest but Lexa silences her with her voice again. "I should've stayed home instead of coming here and scaring you, because I get it, it  _ is  _ scary, if you had done what I did, I would've freaked." 

 

"You're okay," Clarke says, taking Lexa's hand into her own, she plays with the brunette's fingers absentmindedly and places a soft kiss to her knuckles. "you're okay." 

 

"I am," Lexa confesses, while gazing down at their loosely interlocked hands. "you know," Lexa begins with a small smirk. "I never actually asked you to marry me." Lexa muses, sure, she had presented Clarke with the engagement ring, but she hadn't actually said the words ‘will you marry me’. 

 

"You're such a nerd," Clarke snorts, shoving Lexa playfully and the brunette chuckles. "do you ever think about how insane this all is?" Clarke asks curiously, peering up at Lexa who raises her eyebrows in a silent questioning manor. "Us." Clarke says and Lexa frowns. 

 

"I should've asked you to marry me sooner," Lexa says, though the sparkle in her green eyes tells Clarke that she's teasing. "now you're having doubts?" She asks and Clarke senses the end of her sentence is a little quieter, a little more vulnerable, and Clarke kisses her on the lips erasing her fear. 

 

"No," Clarke chuckles. "I just mean, we've known each other for what? A few months," Clarke begins and Lexa shifts to look at Clarke better. "and in that time you've become my best friend, I mean, I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, that's crazy right?" Lexa gives a soft laugh and presses her lips to Clarke's cheek before pulling away and Clarke’s sure it's probably because the woman was afraid of getting Clarke sick. 

 

"I'm your best friend?" Lexa asks lightly and Clarke rolls her eyes because of course that's what Lexa took away from that sentence. 

 

"Lexa," Clarke says sternly, playfully. "I'm serious, we met three months ago and somehow you've managed to become the most important person in my life, someone who I love and I'm just... I’m a little scared." 

 

"You never told me you were afraid of commitment." The words slip from Lexa's mouth before she can stop them and Clarke can tell she hadn't meant to say them, if the widening of her eyes are anything to go by, but Clarke just half smirks at her comment, amused that Lexa's being unusually slack with her words,  _ her  _ Lexa is normally more conserved, Clarke would've had to drag that statement out tooth and nail, but her illness has made her more slack and, Clarke hopes, her presence has made her more relaxed to allow her to speak so freely. 

 

"Maybe I am," Clarke muses, it wasn't completely ridiculous, she'd pushed Finn away plenty of times when commitment was involved, he'd wanted to move in together, Clarke had insisted that she should stay in the dormitories on campus, because she always fell in love fast, her motto was practically ‘act now, think later’ and this was the later, Clarke was reflecting on her relationship with Lexa. "I'm a runner." 

 

"Oh?" Lexa asks, smiling slightly. "Is that so?" Clarke feels her heart do a little fluttery thing that she is sure, as a doctor, it's not supposed to do, and she gazes at her fiancée for a long moment. She loves Lexa, more than anything, and with everything she has, she can't imagine her life without Lexa, and she finds it completely amazing she even survived without her for this long. She can't go back to a life before Lexa, because there is  _ no  _ life before Lexa, and she knows for absolute certain she will never fall out of love with the beautiful brunette. It's comforting to know that things may come and go but Lexa will always be constant. 

 

Clarke nods her affirmation and Lexa purses her lips a little before responding. "Well I happen to be in great shape," Lexa says. "I'll run after you." Clarke lets out a small laugh. "As for your previous statement," Lexa begins. "maybe it is a little crazy, we're certainly not the typical couple, or, at least, our origin story isn't, but I'm a strong believer that, if it feels right, then it must be, and that’s what we have, you're the one Clarke, you're my best friend, you're," Lexa sighs, struggling to find the exact words to describe who Clarke was to her. "you're my world Clarke." She concludes and Clarke smiles. She brings her hand up and threads it through Lexa's soft locks while still holding her hand loosely with her free hand. 

 

"Are you even real?" Clarke asks with fondness ringing in her voice. Lexa shrugs sheepishly and closes her eyes, relaxing at the feeling of Clarke's fingers combing through her hair. 

 

"You should probably go, I don't want to get you sick." Lexa says, though her arms tighten around Clarke and she shuffles back into her even further. 

 

"I'm not going anywhere." Clarke whispers, continuing her movements through Lexa's hair as the brunette's breathing evens out. 

 

They fall back into silence and Clarke is sure that Lexa has fallen back asleep when she hears the brunette speak again - though her voice is layered with a sleepy hue. "Thank you for taking care of me." Lexa mutters and Clarke smiles, closing her own eyes and relaxing against Lexa, who was currently acting as a radiator and making her feel sleepy. 

 

"Through sickness and health." Clarke muses and Lexa snorts. 

 

"You actually mean that?" Lexa asks in amusement. Clarke chooses not to respond to the question, since Lexa already knows her answer, and she listens as Lexa breathes out a heavy sigh. "Clarke?" Lexa asks quietly and the blonde opens her eyes, momentarily, at the unguarded tone to the brunette's voice. 

 

Clarke hums, a gesture for the brunette to continue, and the woman pauses for a long time that Clarke wonders if she's forgotten what she was going to say in the first place. "Will you marry me?" She asks and Clarke laughs, actually, full on, laughs, because the question is unnecessary and goofy but it's also  _ so  _ Lexa, Lexa, a hopeless romantic who, Clarke is sure, doesn't mean to be, she is probably the sappiest woman alive. 

 

Clarke takes her time replying, she nestles back into Lexa's chest, closes her eyes and sighs, thinking she could stay in Lexa's arms like this for the rest of her life. "Nothing would make me happier." Clarke responds. Never, in Clarke's life, has she ever said a statement so completely and utterly true as those five words. 

 

Clarke wanted a  _ lifetime  _ with Lexa.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I'm not sure when the next update will be out but hopefully it won't be as long of a wait. As for Dysfunctional Love, I am also working on that but it may still be awhile, it all just depends if I can find the time to write. Next chapter Luna will be coming back so prepare for that. The whole Elise scene was totally inspired by a Grey's episode lol - points if you know what I'm taking about. Are y'all excited for the wedding? I know we're a ways off but I've already started writing the vows lmao. Anyway, come say hi @sparia-slays on tumblr, some of y'all already have, and hopefully I'll be seeing you all soon. It really means a lot to me that people are invested so much in this story that they want me to continue and update <3

**Author's Note:**

> Ps. Sorry for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes :)


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